This is just an omake I decided to make in the middle of an abrupt drought for ideas and my cluelessness on how to progress the plot even further. Don't worry though, I'll figure it out sooner or later!
ENJOY!
Mustafu...
Yagi strolled past the tatooin shop district, holding two grocery bags in his hands. He wondered if Izuku would like a hotpot for the night, especially with the limited premium meat with a twenty percent off.
Eh, he'll prolly like it.
Yagi continued to walk, as he passed by the local police department.
Yeah. The police force became irrelevant as time goes by, their relevancy replaced by the much more flashy hero society. It's a shame. Police officers were the standard for heroes back in the days before quirks were a thing, regardless of being paid or not.
Now it's just all about a couple of costumed freaks with extraordinary abilities.
Speaking of an officer...
"Stop right there!" A voice commanded with authority from behind.
Oh fuck.
Beads of sweat began to course down through his slippery forehead, his grip on the bags began to switch between loosening and keeping it tight.
"Um...yes?" Yagi replied without turning his head.
"You need to come with me. We're now under the investigation of the recent robbery yesterday, and you are one of the suspects." The officer informed.
Yagi's eyes slightly twitched, his fingers shaking in unbridled indignation. How the fuck did they come to the conclusion that he was the one who stole that bag? Didn't they saw him when he returned that villain inside the bottle?
Knowing their mob mentality, he's close to not being surprised when it comes to their child-like comprehensive skills.
Of course, not to mention those tanktop weirdoes, spreading around false information like they fucking depended on it.
Oh well...
"Sure." Yagi replied simply, before turning his back, finally facing the officer, "Mind if you help me with the groceries, though?"
"Huh?"
"You know, try to assist a good willed pedestrian?"
"...fine." The officer conceded, before taking one of the groceries with him, "Just come with me inside to the interrogation room."
"Are you well aware of the events that transpired yesterday, mister-?"
"Yagi. Yagi Yoshinori. Just call me Yagi, really. Mister makes me feel like I'm older than I actually am." Yagi interrupted, "And yes, I am aware. I was there, after all."
"And that makes it all the more suspicious."
"Hey, just because I was there, doesn't automatically means I was the perpetrator behind the robbery. Besides, the store owner knows me." Yagi shot back. He was getting tired of this. Really tired.
"The store owner actually described the one who returned the bag as, and I quote, 'a blur so fast that my bare eyes couldn't follow', so we don't have any confirmation yet that that is indeed, you." The officer argued back.
...oh.
Damn.
He really should've showed his face.
God damn it.
"What about the villain I returned?" Yagi asked once again.
"About that, he was actually one of the reason why we listed you as a potential suspect." The officer replied, "He said you were trying to frame him."
"W- WHAT?!" Yagi yelled, the echo of his voice repeated throughout the room, like something hurling into an endless void, "Listen, you really believe that moron? Take a closer look, my hero costume, do you know who I am? I'm a hero-"
"Never heard of a hero like you."
"All Might!" Yagi insisted again, "That really doesn't ring a bell?"
"He's a fraud, and a mastermind that managed to deceive half of the country three decades ago. With that plain look and an apparent inferior intellect, you can't be him."
"Who else has blond hair and tufts like I do, though?!" Yagi was persistent, "Plus, there's literally videos of me everywhere posted on YouTube!"
"Please, calm down. To sooth your negative emotions, I can order you a meal. How would you like a pork cutlet bowl?" The officer offerred generously.
"Wait, you're really-?"
"Come on. It's a professional courtesy. I interrupted your little walk, so I had to think of a way to make up for it." The officer replied.
"...fine." Yagi waved dismissively, "I can't still wrap my mind around the fact that you lot believed that I stole a couple of cheap items that I can just, I don't know, take it the legal way?"
The officer didn't reply, as he kept on writing on the note on the desk in front of him.
Oh great, the silent treatment.
Suddenly, an alarm went off, causing the whole building to erupt in sudden panic.
The officer widened his eyes, as he quickly stood up, "Stay here."
"What's going on?"
The officer just rushed outside without a word. "Hey! You didn't-"
A bowl found itself sliding over to Yagi's side of the desk.
"Oh. The pork cutlet bowl." Yagi shifted his head to the side, only to see a man with a sharp feature and a polite smile staring at him, "Enjoy the meal, sir."
"Okay...thanks?" Yagi thanked him, as the man rushed outside as well.
"Why are they even in such a hurry?"
"I know you think of us as an inferior unit not worth putting your attention to, but at least put your utmost concern to the citizens that are inside this building! They're in danger! Our gun power is not enough to repel the monster back, we need a hero!" Kamakoto yelled into his phone urgently.
"Hoo, so you finally admit that you do need us after all."
"Yes, we do." Kamakoto pleaded, "Please."
As the officers in front of him kept on firing on the monster in front of him, Kamakoto urged the man on the other end of the call to hurry their response, "Hurry up, please!"
"I want to help, my dear officer, I really do. But I can't help but notice that there's something missing in this desperate request of yours."
"What is it? Do you want money? I'll-"
"No, no, no, that's too cheap. I want something more in return. Something grander. Something humiliating."
"Humiliating...?" Kamakoto uttered the words in confusion.
"I want you to say it."
Kamakoto was silent for a few seconds, before gasping in sudden realisation, "Are you asking me to say 'please'?"
"No, Kamakoto-san, more than that. I want you to admit that your police force are an insignificant speck compared to the ultimate line of defense that is our heroes. Admit that your existence is ultimately pointless, and your usefulness is akin to the functionality of a decaying wooden chair. Oh, and yes, with a little sprinkle of 'Please' and more begging at the end."
Kamakoto was conflicted to follow through with his deal. How was he supposed to degrade his own occupation and humiliate his fellow colleagues?
But he knew he had to do it. For the safety of these people. For the safety of his fellow officers.
"So? What's it gonna be, Kamakoto-san?" One of The Hero Commission executives behind the call urged again.
The Commissioner sighed in resignation, as he slowly opened his mouth, "P...ple-"
Before he can finish his sentence, his phone was snatched away from his tightened grip.
He looked to the left, only to see Yagi, his brows furrowed in silent anger, "You were calling a hero? Didn't seem like it. Who was on the other end of the call?"
"Y- I- What are you doing?!" Kamakoto screamed in panic, the situation breaking through his usual calm persona.
"Probably some weirdo from the Hero Commission. You asked for help to the wrong person. I was here from the start, why didn't you ask me instead?" Yagi asked.
Seeing no answer, he decided to continue, "Heroes and police don't do their job when someone says 'please', so next time, if you see someone saying those sort of things, call for someone else."
Before Kamakoto can tell Yagi to stay back, he held his hands up, "Save it. I'm not backing away."
Yagi then stepped forward, cracking his knuckles, "For now, I'm gonna kick that monster's ass. Consider this as payback for the pork cutlet bowl."
As he closed the distance between him and the monster, it moved it's attention to the man with the cheap hero costume, "A hero?"
"Nah, I ain't a hero." Yagi answered.
"What are you then?" The monster asked curiously, sneering as it did.
Instead of answering, Yagi flicked his index finger, forming a gun-shaped hand gesture, "Bang!" He exclaimed with a comically goofy grin plastered on his face.
Outside of the police department...
The surrounding pedestrians gathered around in front of the building, and from behind them, multiple heroes rushed in to take the credit for the monster's defeat.
But as they were about to enter the building, something large crashed through the front door of the police department.
It was the monster from before, but this time, weakened, it's bones fractured, rendering it immobilised.
"Who beat it?!"
"Could it be that the police force was actually competent all along??"
"Oh look, a police officer!"
A mysterious cop emerged out of the building with it's cap shifted down to his forehead, seemingly to hide his eyes and the details of his facial features.
"OOOOOOOH! A POLICE OFFICER MANAGED TO DEFEAT THE MONSTER! SO AWESOME!"
Everyone began chanting another wave of endless praise, but as it seems, the cop remained indifferent. He simply walked to the side, leaving the crowded area all-together.
"Commissioner Kamakoto, it sounds like the crowd seems to think one of our officers beat down the monster." An officer said.
"...where did the man from before go?" Kamakoto asked.
"He just...disappeared. One of our spare uniforms was apparently missing too." He replied.
Kamakoto felt his heart filled with awe and gratefulness, as he stared at the window, the sun setting on the horizon.
He felt a surge of warmth reeling his chest, as he smiled with his eyes closed, "That man was a hero."