A/N - As I was writing this, I realized I should clarify something. The point of the "teenage celebrity kids" arc is that Poof and Goldie grew up in a society where everyone is held to adult standards and expected to be reasonable and mature. Fairy society is very "You know yourself better than anyone, so make the choices that are right for you."

By the time they're in high school, Fairy society expects children to have the capability to make mature, rational decisions. They could get married around this age and Fairies wouldn't bat an eye, because Fairy society is tailored to individuals and just assumes you're out there making choices that make you happy. Only… the gang are still awkward teens and don't always think in rational adult ways.

I don't support all the choices these guys make; I'm just here to tell a story about super dramatic celebrity children with magic and messy relationships. You know the drill.

Summary: Poof prepares to attend Goldie's coronation as will o' the wisp ambassador, and struggles to sort out his feelings on his love life or lack thereof.

Characters: Poof, Goldie, Cosmo, Wanda, Foop, Hiccup, Finley, Sammy, Cavatina, Daxton, Anti-Cosmo, assorted ceremony attendees

Rating:T

Prerequisites: "Evolution Hopeful", "Shadow", "Mature" and/or "Grooming", "Watch and Learn", "Temptation"

Posted: October 23, 2018

95. All I Ever Wanted (Far future; approximately 10,000 years after the "Temptation" Prompt)

Second Saturday of Mid-Winter; Aurora 8049

Year of Water, Winter of the Shattered Lake

I'm not at all into dudes, but I would totally go out with you if you asked, was a weird thing to think about a person. Especially a fumbling intern who was just fitting you for a tux. Poof would have preferred purple silk, but Goldie had begged him to wear green to match her dress, so he relented. It was her special day, after all. Happy girlfriend, happy… day end.

Mama pressed her hand against his forehead, and Poof quickly glanced away from the tawny-haired drake measuring his leg. "Poof, you've been sweating since we came in here. Are you feeling all right?"

Poof licked his lips. Still too dry. His gaze darted to the tri-panel mirror in front of him, where his flushed cheeks and the long pink scar across his collarbone burned like triple blisters. The scar looked worse than it felt; it really wasn't a big deal anymore. Poof straightened his wings. "Uh. Super nervous. Pretty crazy, huh? I won't even be the center of attention, and I'm still dripping buckets. I mean…" He wiped his wrist across his head, pushing her hand away. "Geez. Goldie gets coronated as wisp ambassador this weekend. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about that. She's really moving up in the world, and I'm just that same old idiot on the saucerbee team."

"It's not her real coronation yet," Mama reminded him, brushing down a spike in his hair. "No cameras this time."

"I know, I know. But to the wisps, it's official." Poof's gaze wandered back to the intern with the measuring tape. The guy suddenly snapped up straight and zipped away, muttering numbers in an endless loop. Inwardly, Poof sighed and allowed his shoulders to slump. The intern was really nice, and he smelled fresh, like a bundle of clean clothes. Poof really hoped he'd come back, and wouldn't bring his old gray-haired grump of a boss with him.

"Isn't there a special ceremony that comes after the coronation? Some sort of wedding event, or something along those lines?"

Poof froze. She asked the question innocently, but nothing was ever unintentional with his mama. His mouth drier than ever, Poof glanced up. His mama's eyes studied his face as though searching for a crumb among his freckles.

"Y-yeah. There will be a ceremony. Back when most wisps still lived in Earth's underground, they used to, uh… celebrate new burrows with special ceremonies and stuff. After all the global warming stuff happened and the Earth wisps moved up to Pixie Woods, a lot of the old customs changed. Idona will give Goldie the key to a brand new cabin where she'll live, instead of some dirty tunnel underground, so that's nifty. She'll still, uh… 'seal' it when the coronation is over, but it won't be in front of witnesses like in the old days, she said, I think."

"And she's supposed to seal it with her primary romantic partner, if I remember correctly. Is that right?"

Poof took an interest in the button on the end of his jacket sleeve. Sweat droplets beaded on his upper lip. One of his legs itched behind the knee. "Haha. Yep. She'll probably pick Daxton. Trust me, I'd be very okay with that."

Mama arched her usual brow higher. "Okay, sweetie. I appreciate how mature about this you're being, but if you need to eat your feelings with a little cake or pie-"

"Mama." For the first time, Poof let his smile slip far enough that he was actually scowling in the mirror. "Goldie and I are polyamorous, okay? I'm perfectly mint with her dating both me and Daxton. We've been doing this since we were in middle school. In wisp society, Goldie is THE top wisp now. She's gonna be expected to have a bunch of drakes move into the ambassador cabin and garden, cook, and take care of the place for her, whether she decides to be intimate with them or not. Having lots of boyfriends is just a social status thing in her culture, and I've accepted that. Can you please be supportive of us, too? You promised you'd try."

Mama bit her lip, but encircled his shoulders with her arms in a gentle squeeze. "Whatever you choose to make of your life, baby, I will always do what I can to love and support you."

"Mm." Poof leaned his head against hers. When she pulled away, he straightened his collar and said, "Thanks for taking me out, Mama. I'm glad I didn't have to try figuring this out all by myself."

"Of course." Mama licked her finger and tried to press the spike down again. "We'll jump at any chance to see our baby again. And, Daddy should be taking his special turkey roast out of the oven right now. That will put you down for a good night's sleep tonight."

Poof couldn't help it. He snorted. "Yeah, right. Knowing my insomnia? Good luck. Besides, you know I don't eat any more meat than I have to."

Mama sighed. "That's what I told him, but he insisted nonetheless. It would mean the world to him if you'd at least pretend to like it. If he keeps piling it on and you need an excuse to duck away, just give me a nudge underneath the table."

"I'll try…"

"Thanks, sweetie. Now, who else will be there at the coronation?"

"Mostly wisps," Poof said with a shrug. "She invited the whole gang, but Finley turned her down. Sammy's coming. Foop or Hiccup, one of them. Anti-Goldie for sure."

"Never would have been allowed back when I was a child," Mama murmured. "Two counterparts in the same room? Not so soon after the war. Times really do change."

Poof watched her from the corner of one eye. Mama never talked about the will o' the wisp side of her heritage much, and he always wished she would. "Were you there when Idona Ivorie was coronated ambassador?"

Mama chuckled. "Oh, no. That was just before the war- the second war. I was up at school when I heard the news. Always a wiry, wild thing, that one. Braided her pretty golden hair, but never brushed it. Lovely purple wings, but the strangest pale pink eyes… She used to wear this ugly, ratty hat."

"Goldie said she still does, but only when she isn't out in public."

"I'm sure," Mama said with another laugh. Poof smirked. Making his mama smile would always be one of his little joys in life. Then she folded her arms and said, "I hope Cavatina isn't there."

Poof frowned, trying to remember if Goldie had mentioned his name. "I don't know. Idona's kind of his mom, so I think he'd want to?"

Mama closed her eyes. "Please… If he is there, don't taunt or tease him in any way. My mother's intuition gives me a bad, bad feeling about that boy. I know I shouldn't say this without any proof, but he isn't stable in the head."

"Yeah, well." Poof rotated his wrists back and forth, setting off a bunch of little snapping sounds when his joints clicked. "He's a little weird, but he's like a half-brother to Goldie since she grew up training under Idona. If she wants to invite him, I'm not gonna complain."

She didn't remove her eyes from the scar along his neck. Averting his gaze, Poof touched it with his fingertips. The original cut had been pretty deep. Deep enough that it had jumped the core-sync and left Foop with a matching scar in the exact same spot on his own collar. Still, he refused to hide it or ever feel ashamed that it was there.

"Mama, don't worry about me. If worse comes to worst, I'm pretty handy with a wand. Cavatina's unbalanced and he lashes out sometimes, but if Goldie trusts him enough to invite him to her party, then I do too. Who knows? He might not even come. And besides!" Here, he flashed his most charming I'm your little boy please love on me forever smile. "You and Dad will be there to watch my back."

But not too closely, he hoped. He wanted to squeeze in at least a brief quiet moment to congratulate Goldie on her coronation in private.

The tawny-haired drake with the measuring tape returned a moment later, still mumbling numbers to himself. He re-measured Poof's leg unhappily, then double-checked the size of the slits needed for his wings. When his counting finally ended, he poked the very tip of his tongue between his lips and narrowed his eyes. Dear dust, that snapped Poof to attention. He stifled a gasp by feigning it was a cough. I mean, the guy had been good-looking before with his light beard and tall posture, but the way he stuck out his tongue now was just downright precious. He looked like a little lion cub. Poof longed to tap his tongue with his finger, just to see if it would recoil like a spring. That would be funny, but probably get both him and his mama kicked from the tux shop to the curb.

Poof wiped his hands twice on his thighs. Yikes. His thoughts jumbled together into one long smear. He'd never felt that kind of jolt from being near a drake before. Focus, champ. Seriously. He inhaled, tasting the scents of free-range huckleberries, warm coconut milk, and freshly ironed laundry on his tongue. Grilled salmon in there, too, very faintly; possibly what the tawny-haired drake had eaten for lunch. Oh wow, that was good stuff. Poof's mouth began to water, which was terribly embarrassing, because he hadn't actually wanted to eat more meat than the carnivorous dragonfly parts of his biology required for the last 50,000 years. If he hadn't felt obligated to stand still in front of the tri-panel mirrors with his arms outstretched, he'd have loved to pull the smaller drake towards him by a loop of his tape measure and bury his nose in his shirt. Could all those crazy smells really belong to just one fairy? Four completely contrasting scents all blending together into something so wonderful wasn't entirely the norm, and honestly, Poof found his interest in the guy very, very piqued because of it.

Oh! Gee. Um. Okay. Poof clenched his chest with one hand. So, uh, this was happening now. This wasn't exactly a passing glance here. No, Poof quickly found himself reveling in the most minute touches on his skin. Each time the intern's quick hands brushed against his back, the hairs on his neck tingled up. His fingers curled, then straightened slowly. Liquid magic rushed inside his head. Goosebumps bubbled beneath his shirt. Ahaha… Had the guy noticed the effect his presence had on him? Smoof, he'd probably noticed. Had his mama noticed too? Stupid Fairy senses; you could never hide anything from them. Not even butterfly-filled stomach flips. Weren't those sorts of reactions allowed to be kept private? Thing is, Poof didn't really want everyone within his radius figuring out that he'd gone from zero to 'Mind if I buy you a soda and tuck you in on my couch with a homemade quilt, studmuffin?' in three seconds flat.

Did I really just think that out loud?

A little squeak left his lips. The intern paused. Their reflections made brief eye contact. Two seconds of awkward silence passed, which Poof spent resisting the urge to crumple to the floor and dissolve into dust. Then the intern smiled shyly and straightened his measuring tape. He went back to work, while Poof flushed and picked very noticeably at his collar.

Poof flopped on the couch, pulling his wand away from his ear as Anti-Marigold snapped, "Y'all can't just send your main character to the afterlife while they're still alive and call that an ending!" The line fizzled with static when her voice was loudest, but the gist of her criticism came through clearly. Not exactly the way he'd planned to spend the night before Goldie's coronation, but he always appreciated her honesty on his latest work.

"I dunno, I think it's okay as long as I drop enough foreshadowing before it happens?" Reaching over his head, Poof twirled his finger around a string of blue and gold holiday lights hanging from the dorm wall. None of their gang had done a good job pinning them above the couch, and one side sagged way farther down than the other. Poof stuck out his tongue at the winter trellis standing in the corner and kicked his legs out in front of him. "Besides, that's not really the end. I promise, I'll wrap it all up in the last couple chapters. It just takes me time."

"Poof, you have a problem. I just X'd out fifteen pages worth of junk in the middle you didn't really need to get the point across. Fifteen, Poof. Most of it is super repetitive, like you forgot where you were going halfway through and just started over, again and again."

His knee-jerk response was a grunt. A few seconds later he followed up with, "I think it's more effective that way."

He could practically see her shaking her head, pacing back and forth in her apartment on the other end of the line. "It's clunky and requires the reader to remember a character who hasn't even shown up for the last quarter of the manuscript. Just… promise me y'all'll write a draft without her in it just to see what happens. Then y'all can decide whether or not it's necessary."

"But I already know it's necessary! I know things that are coming that you don't, so I'm trying to weave some details in there in advance." Poof pushed his fingers through his hair and groaned at the ceiling. "Okay, okay. You know what? I trust you. That scene did feel a little clunky while I was working on it. Send me your revision notes and I'll try to cut its length by half. I mean, I guess there are a few lines of dialogue in the middle I can afford to lose. Plus, there is that scene where he mentions the shape of his nose at a time when a normal person wouldn't normally be thinking- Oh, hang on; Hiccup's coming out. Call you back. Thanks for giving it a look, Anti-Goldie. You're the best."

He switched off the communicator on his wand and sheathed it at his hip. A few seconds later, the door to Foop's and Finley's bedroom opened. Poof wasn't surprised in the least to see that Hiccup was still in control of Foop's body, considering how much affectionate purring he'd heard in there tonight…

Yep. There was the victim of the evening: A groggy-eyed elf who stumbled out into the main room, his blond hair still rumpled from lack of rest. Trenton, right? He'd thrown his ragged band t-shirt on backwards. Poof wasn't sure how that was even possible, considering that most people tended to notice when the slits for their wings were exposing their pecs instead. A beaming Hiccup kept right on his heels all the way to the apartment door, prattling on about some glowworm aesthetic he had. Oh, fudge- it was going to be one of those evenings. Besides his striped socks, the anti-fairy wore only a white sweater that barely covered his hips, let alone anything below. Poof politely pretended not to notice.

At the door, Hiccup giggled and tucked a scrap of dark hair behind his ear. "Thanks for, um… you know. Teaching me all that stuff about spoons. I really liked that. Y-you can come back any time, you know. Just ask me. You have my number now."

"Yeah," Trenton said, sounding skeptical. His hand inched closer to the doorknob. Oblivious, Hiccup booped him in the nose before planting a kiss on his cheek in good-bye (Poof smothered a laugh behind his knuckles). Trenton's smile strained, but he thanked him gracefully and left.

The door clicked shut. Hiccup locked it with a happy sigh. His hand moved to his cheek. With a decisive nod, he floated over to the cabinet where they kept the hot chocolate mix. Poof waited several minutes to give his counterpart (almost-counterpart?) time to notice him. When it became obvious Hiccup was too distracted stirring his hot chocolate around with his spoon, and once he'd started coming around the counter to head back to his room, Poof finally decided to speak up.

"Evening, Hiccup."

Hiccup made a sound very close to, "Ksdhfkjsdvsk?!" and fumbled with his mug. The drink flipped straight out of his hands and splashed across the carpet. The mug didn't break, but that stain was going to be annoying to get out even with magic. Hiccup snapped his arms down straight by his sides and squeezed his eyes as tight as a coffin.

"Poof! Were you spying on me?"

"Sorry," Poof mumbled, uncrossing his legs. "I forgot you don't sense auras. I'll try to make more noise next time."

"Make sure you do! I'm embarrassed." So saying, Hiccup buried his face in his hands.

"Yeah, sorry, bro. Listen… Hiccup…" Poof scrubbed behind his neck. He glanced up at the ceiling and then back down at his untied shoelaces. Wow, he needed to stop buying shoes with laces. "Can I like, talk to you for a sec?"

Hiccup tugged down the hem of his sweater and blew nonexistent bangs out of his eyes. "That's fine, I guess."

"It's kind of serious."

"That's okay. So am I right now."

Poof wrapped his arms around his middle. Leaning forward, he squeezed out, "So um, how did you even figure out that you like drakes?"

"Really?" Hiccup blinked, then bit his lower lip so hard, Poof wondered if his fangs would draw blood. He bundled his hands in his sweater hem. "Um… I'm not the best person to ask, because I think I always knew. I was born at age 200,000, you see. I wanted to kiss bad boys even a long time ago when Foop was just a pup. I was very, very happy when we finally came into our adult wings. I don't hate using Foop's body as much as I used to now that he's almost as grown up as I am. It's much more fun to be alive now that we're over 150,000, because now I can legally do as much with older drakes and damsels as I want to. I've tried not to rush, but I have plans. Do you know that leprechaun girl on the other side of the dorm, Appalachia? Of course you do; everybody knows Appalachia. Well, I heard she's down to get warm and cozy with anybody, hee hee. She's really pretty, and she said she'd love to have a date with me in February! I'm excited. Valentine's Day is in February, so I think she has big plans for me too."

"Uh, right, okay." Poof tried again. "So, uh, do you have any advice on figuring out if I might be attracted to drakes or not?"

"Lots of Playsprite magazines," Hiccup said wisely, settling on his heels. "The Anti-Fairy pin-ups are wrong because they're made by Fairies who don't know we don't look like them down there, but I really like the Fairy ones. You can borrow some of mine; Foop will just rip them to pieces if he finds them anyway."

"Huh."

Hiccup tilted his head. "You sound confused. You can also just kiss drakes to see if you like them. Maybe you don't know this, but Finley kisses everybody who asks. He can only go as far as kisses because he was born a tomte, so if he ever has intercourse even once, he'll just die. Like a bumblebee. Just. Pewww. I think it's worth it, but he doesn't agree with me, so we have to get really creative when we do our thing. Mostly me. Pixies aren't very creative."

"Thanks, Hiccup," Poof said, eyes shut. "I know about Finley. Listen, I just…" He scratched the back of his neck again. Then he upturned one hand, clenching and unclenching at nothing. "Is it possible to like drakes and not want to kiss them?"

"Oh, sure." Finally, Hiccup bent down to pick up his mostly-empty mug. He made a face at the puddle of hot chocolate beside it. "Lots of people have fun without attaching messy strings of commitment. Ah, I've noticed it's not very common in Fairy World, but we Anti-Fairies do it all the time so we can prove we're friends. You and me are not friends. I don't like you because you're a boring goody two-shoes and you always get in my way. It happens a lot and I think you do it on purpose. It's really annoying."

In hindsight, he should have seen that coming. Poof forced a nervous chuckle and wiped the sweat from his neck on the leg of his pants. "Okay, not like that. I don't want to, uh…" Stuttering over his words, he defaulted to, "I don't want to pair up with drakes like that, you know? I was just wondering, is it weird if I like drakes, but I don't want to kiss them OR blitz them?"

"Hmm? Ah…" Hiccup went cross-eyed. He bounced the mug in his hand. "It's a little weird."

"Because I don't," Poof said, just in case Hiccup hadn't gotten the message yet.

"Oh. Then I don't think you like drakes."

Poof ruffled the back of his hair. "I don't know. I kind of think I might. Lately I've been getting these urges to put my arms around drakes and pull them in close until our foreheads bump, but my crazy ideas don't stop there. I want to, uh…" His cheeks warmed, but he forged on anyway, because it was Hiccup, and basically nothing was off-limits in conversation with Hiccup. Poof dropped his hands to his knees. "I- I want to be the one to pull off a guy's necktie after he's had a long day. I want him to relax beside me and maybe even giggle when we're alone together. I want to pull him into my lap and nestle my chin in his hair while we binge-watch old cartoons that used to run when we were kids. I want him to light up when I float inside the room. Oh geez, and I want him to want me- Want him to want to nuzzle up against my chest and just fall asleep so safe and warm on top of me… Dust, I can't stop thinking about it. I want sleepy cuddles so bad right now."

"You have a girlfriend." Hiccup sounded surprised for the first time. "Cuddle her. She can wear a tie."

"Goldie doesn't get it," Poof said, which was really hard to say, because he really liked her and didn't want to say anything mean behind her back. "Believe me, I've tried getting her on board with the idea ever since that day at the cabin when we Tarrow dance'd. I'm a snugglebug. I love cuddles, but they're hard for Goldie when they don't lead up to kisses and stuff; she just doesn't see the point if it doesn't go anywhere. She thinks it's hot and sweaty, but not in a good way. Besides, that's just… not what I'm looking for. I dunno. Cuddling with Goldie is great, but…"

Lacking better words, since Hiccup still looked blank, Poof shrugged and just said, "It doesn't, uh, 'turn me on,' I guess. But when I think about cuddling drakes, I just feel… really happy? Not like THAT or anything. Just, you know. Normal happy, like when you've just thought up a really good joke that made everyone laugh. It's a safe, friendly kind of happy. Does that make sense?"

Hiccup blinked very, very slowly. "You have a boyfriend. Cuddle him. He can wear a tie too. Finley has ties you can borrow."

"Daxton's Goldie's boyfriend," Poof protested. "I mean, I know him and he's witty and fun, but I've never thought of him like that. I never thought I liked drakes until this week happened."

"But you forget things all the time."

Poof blinked and looked up. Hiccup gave him his no-nonsense stare, eyebrows raised and hands on his hips.

"This is like when you wrote that scene you thought was really funny in your story, and you kept telling us about it every day at breakfast for a whole week as if you'd never said it before. Your attention is really bad sometimes. You forget a lot of things. Just during lunch today, I watched you put leftovers in the fridge and then get excited ten minutes later when you opened it and found your leftovers."

"I'm not that smart," Poof said softly. "I've never been smart."

Hiccup's eyes crossed like he was listening to a voice only he could hear inside his head. Apparently, he was. "Foop says you had this same conversation with him yesterday."

"I don't remember that…"

"It's okay! All Fairies have bad memories. It's because being upset ruins your magic, so your people got really good at repressing thoughts that don't make them happy and that's why it's really hard to argue with you about politics."

"Okay, well, you're not Foop, so just put up with me talking about this again, okay? Let me be straightforward. I want to cuddle dudes, Hiccup. Lots and lots of dudes. And that's it." Poof X'd and un-X'd his arms. "No kisses, nothing. I just want hugs from guys, like… a lot. Touching people is super important to me, but I don't want to go any further than snuggling with anyone but Goldie. I know it's kind of weird, but I just thought I'd talk to you about it because you're the only one here who likes both drakes and damsels, except maybe me. I don't really know where I stand on that yet. Get it?"

"Ohh," Hiccup said. He retracted his wings. Either a sneer crept into his voice, or Poof was just imagining things. Turning towards his bedroom door, he called, "Finley, can you please talk to Poof about gyne/drone stuff? I'm not good at this."

The constant putter of Finley's video games, so familiar that Poof hadn't even noticed it, suddenly switched to the twinkle of a pause screen. A handheld device snapped shut. Oh. Poof felt his face begin to heat. 'Gyne/drone stuff?' Was THAT what this feeling was for? He hadn't officially gotten the talk about the, uh, nests and the honeycomb from his parents yet, but he knew the basics. C'mon, moron. You're a gyne who wants to kiss damsels but cuddle drakes, duh. Of course you're getting preening urges. Couldn't you figure that out on your own? That was obvious, ya big dummy.

While Finley rustled his way out of his blankets, Poof sighed and ran his fingers through his messy ponytail. "Gee, Hiccup. Sorry my words are such a mess. I'm kind of an idiot like that. Basically, what I'm trying to say is, I know you and Finley are kind of a thing, so I've been thinking I might ask Sammy if he wants to cuddle with me. Do you think he'd be into that?"

Hiccup gasped. Startled, Poof looked up again. The anti-fairy stood there in his short sweater and striped socks, his palm pressed against his lips and two claws threaded around the mug handle. His eyes had gone enormous. He glanced away very quickly, but Poof still noticed when his hands began to shake. Oh, great. What had he said wrong this time? He held up his arms defensively.

"I mean, I don't wanna do the whole crash and burn thing with Sammy or anything. I'm just saying, I want to snuggle Seelie drakes who aren't other gynes, so that rules out you and Fin both. Sammy would be perfect. I just really, really need hugs sometimes, but… with super exclusive commitment, I guess? Me and Sammy share a room, so he'd be available for cuddling any time if he's into it. I dunno. Geez, that sounds dumb. I don't know what I'm talking about." Poof wiped a thumb across his brow. "Okay, this is terrible to say, because I don't mind it when Goldie dates other guys, but when I think about drakes I want to hug… I care a lot. Like, seriously, even in my daydreams I care a lot. I'd definitely get jealous if I found out the drakes I usually cuddle with also cuddle other people too. Is that weird?"

"I… I, um…" Hiccup tightened his fingers over his knuckles. His claws bit into his sweater. His entire body shook. So much so that Poof started to get up off the couch to see if he was okay. Before he could get far, Hiccup threw the empty mug down on the carpet. It bounced. "I have to go," he blurted, and flew back into his room. Poof blinked, not sure if he should follow and try to help the guy relax or something. But Finley came out just then, and he didn't seem too concerned. He just gave Hiccup a pat on the rear as he shot by, and that was all. Poof's attention went to Finley.

"Yo Poofster." The pixie pushed his shades higher in his hair. A familiar vial of purple liquid bounced against his chest on its chain. It glinted blue in the string lights around the room. "Word on the wing is that your drone-lust is super up today."

The word 'lust' kind of bothered him. It made his fantasies sound pretty wild and never-ending. That basically described his week, but still. Poof started to get off the couch, then remembered who he was talking to and sat down again. "Uh. Please don't call me 'Poofster.' That's what my dad calls me."

Finley shrugged. He took off his hat to scratch his hair, then flipped it on his head again. It sagged forward, limp and lazy. "Hiccup made it sound like you wanted to talk about dudes, and I'm always down for that. Hit me."

Poof averted his eyes. "Well, uh, there's not a lot to say. I thought that maybe I liked drakes too and not just damsels, so I was just asking Hiccup about attraction, but then I figured out it was just my gyne instincts pushing me to preen with drones. Sorry to waste your time."

"Who was it?" Finley set his hands to his hips, his smile sweeping up just one side of his face. When Poof gave him a questioning look, he rolled his eyes. "Come on, fuzzy. Even a sweet potato like you has got to have some crooked thoughts now and again."

"Not really? I've just been daydreaming about cuddles all week." Poof blinked. "I… Wow. No, I… I didn't even get as far as preening fantasies. At least, I don't think I did. It was just all… couch cuddles. Um. Clothes on. Holiday pajamas with snowflakes and evergreen trees. We were stirring hot chocolate with candy canes and wearing fuzzy socks, laughing at our shows."

Finley groaned, leaning back on his heels. His hands went into his sweatpants pockets. "Poof, you're killing me here. You call that a fantasy? Nobody's that pure. Listen, I've waited my whole life to bond with you over gyne stuff. You've had a week to think about drakes, so what do you really want to do with them when they're all over you?"

Poof thought about it for a minute, staring at the twinkling lights beside the bedroom door. He tapped one finger against his front tooth. "Actually, I kind of want a kitten."

"A kitten," Finley repeated. "You want to sit on a couch with an adorable snugglebug and pet a kitten." He raised his hand and made a quick Come along gesture with a flick of his fingers. "Come at me, bro. I know you can do better than that. We're working out your deepest fantasies here. Go for something crazy. Something you've always wanted. Get creative!"

Poof opened his mouth.

"Don't say 'two kittens.'"

Poof closed his mouth again. His hand gravitated behind his neck, and he glanced at the ceiling high overhead. "Look, I dunno. I know Canterbury v. Oakwing says we're not supposed to out drones without their permission, but is there any way you could maybe guide me someplace where you know I'll bump into some? Maybe I'll have an easier time once I start a conversation."

"Wow, you're in luck. I know a little place by the cloudship dock, and I can get you in lickity split." Finley chuckled at his own joke and threw his arm behind Poof's neck. "How's next Wednesday sound? Just a couple drakes hanging out, checking out dudes, letting 'em down easy… We're gonna get your neck slimed by a smokin' hottie, smoof yes. And then when we get home, you and me are gonna get down to business, because I'm gonna slime your face just to make sure you remember who's boss. It's not you. No it's not, is it, baby?"

He smooshed Poof's cheek against his own. Poof tightened his lips. "I don't want this."

"Sorry, puffball. Can't hear you over the fact that you ain't a virgin anymore, and you smell like it too. You went that route, so I'm allowed to 1-up you on face slimes. Fight me."

"Wha- No! I don't want to fight you." Poof twisted away from him. "Fin, I'm just not ready to preen! I never got the Talk, and I don't know any of the communication signals. I don't want to lick anybody's face. I just wanna start with cuddling."

"It's totally normal to have nerves," Finley assured him. His thumb moved to his chin, and a dreamy look came over his eyes. "Ah, I remember the thrill of nuzzling up to my first drone. He was twice as experienced as I was and that's the kind of step-by-step guidance I needed at that age… You met Blueberry Pie, right? Wish I could remember his real name; all I remember is that wild blue hair of his. A little uptight, but a real good teacher. I should give him a call and hook you up with him."

Poof frowned, clutching the front of his shirt. "Uh, no thanks. Look. I'm seriously not interested in preening licks right now. Could you set me up with a drone who doesn't mind if we take it slow to start?" Whether his cuddle partner was a drone or not wasn't really important to him, as long as the guy didn't make their hugging weird.

Finley gave him a funny look. "You'd really be okay cuddling up to a drone without taking it all the way to preening?"

"Well, yeah. I'm just starting out. I don't know if I'm okay with licking a guy's face yet. It would just feel weird."

Blinking, Finley shifted his weight to the other side of his body. He crossed his arms. "You know preening's just natural, right? Bees do it, and I think they're onto something. Get in touch with your wild side and let your instincts take over. Don't overthink it, bro. It's like a spiritual experience or something, I swear. There's nothing better to wash the anxieties of a long day away. Hey, you might even get a good night's sleep for once. I know I always do."

"You really think so?" Poof tried to imagine himself lying back on his bed in his comfiest pajamas, running his tongue between another drake's mouth and nose, or pressing soft kisses near his ear. The thought made his skin crawl. Oookay… Well, the idea was still a little foreign for now, but Poof could see himself trying that type of thing out someday. Maybe. It probably wouldn't feel as good as one of Goldie's kisses, but if his partner enjoyed it, then he was willing to please as best as he was able.

Then his imagination flashed to a tiny drake in an oversized T-shirt and nothing else, leaning over him with the glimmer of lust in his eyes and threads of drool dripping from his panting tongue. Poof's gag reflex kicked in instantly. Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. He shook his head, not totally sure if the mental image was an accurate portrayal of preening and not really wanting to ask. "Okay, yeah, no. I'm willing to give licks to someone else if it makes them happy, but I wouldn't want anyone to do it to me if I didn't have to. It just grosses me out right now. Maybe someday if I know them well, but yeah, no. No."

"… Are you sure you're a gyne?"

"Um." Was it really that weird to not want preening licks? Poof bit his lip and backpedaled, automatically spinning his wings. "I- I'm sure I'll want licks later. I'm just saying, I'd have to be really comfortable with my partner first. Like, getting my neck licked is something I'd want to do with a real romantic partner, not just a good friend. It would just be weird for my friends to do."

Poof clapped his hand against his mouth. Had he really just said 'I'd want to preen with a real romantic partner' out loud? Yikes. Fairy/Anti-Fairy marriages still weren't legal yet despite the surge of public approval in the last two centuries- let alone a far less popular concept like marriage between gynes and drones. His face flooded with guilt. "I- I mean, I don't want to, uh, y'know, sleep with a drone or anything, but I… Ah, geez. I just can't see myself ever being comfortable enough to preen with another drake unless he felt more like a boyfriend to me than a best friend, you know? Like, a boyfriend that I would never kiss or sleep with, but one I'd definitely be okay showing up at family reunions with, or doing chores with, or adopting a puppy with. I think I could preen with someone like that. Does that make sense?"

But while Finley looked skeptical, he didn't express any judgment. "Ah. See, I'm not big on that life myself, but I've heard committed partnerships are kinda the norm, so don't worry about it right now. Anyway, you'll want licks when you're in the mood."

"You think so?"

"Aw, yeah. Listen. I love kissing drakes, but I'm not gonna lie- preening licks are like, next level smoof. It's like kissing, only a zillion times better, because kissing isn't natural. We made it up, y'know? But preening's biological. When you get real into it, all your insect instincts just flare at the same time, and your mind just kinda floats away into total empty bliss for like, hours. Glory, glory…"

Poof tilted his head. "Like getting high off peppermint?"

Finley gave an exaggerated roll of his eyes. He dropped his shades from his forehead back to his nose. "Nah. Even better. Get you a drone with preening game so hard, it feels like you're ascending straight to Plane 23 when he gets you going. I used to preen a drone like that a couple decades back, but when he got upset it wasn't going anywhere, I had to break it off. Real shame too 'cuz he spoiled me rotten and no one's ever measured up since, but I don't do touchy-feely emotions. No exceptions. I call my own shots whenever I want to."

"Oh."

"Forget drakes. If you're not into them, there's nothing wrong with that. Maybe it would help if you imagine your girlfriend in bed with you, just to get you started. Start by licking her face, and then just imagine she's a dude."

Poof closed his eyes and pulled up a mental picture of the room he shared with Sammy, with the piles of notebooks that contained most of his one-shot drafts strewn everywhere and posters of his favorite saucerbee teams covering his walls. String lights glowed all around the window, right by his bed. Every year they'd roomed together, Sammy had always let him have the bed by the window. He had a desk with a soft chair, and his old-fashioned laptop that needed a converter cable for its charger to work in Fairy World, and which he spent way more time using for writing fanfiction than actual schoolwork. Hesitantly, Poof allowed himself to lie safely in his bed, snug in his minky blankets.

So far, so good. Okay. Okay. He could do this. Here goes. Poof tried to imagine Goldie gazing down at him in her pink Sparks That Flew shirt, the tiniest tip of her tongue poking from her lips, but the scene blurred, he heard her giggle in the distance, and instant panic shut down his mind. Poof's eyes snapped open. "NO! No, no, no. I don't… wanna do that with her. I'm just… not ready to think about her looking at me like that again. I can't do it. It freaks me out."

"Then imagine something else," Finley said, like memories were a choice. Poof glanced away, clutching his wrist.

"Please don't make me do this anymore…"

Finley sighed, and clapped one hand on Poof's shoulder. "All right, so fantasies are off the table right now. Hey, listen. When you're just starting out, licking faces seems pretty wild, especially if you're not into drakes even a little."

"Tell me about it."

"And I pity you dearly. But the thing is, once you get all riled up, you'll want to preen. I promise. Let your instincts take over. When you've got a nice drone all to yourself, just lick your lips and go for it. That's my motto, and look how much I'm loving life! Never chase off somebody who's interested, Poof: That's rule number one. Lying on a bean-bag with a cute drake's tongue rasping the base of your neck in slow-mo while you mash your way through a brand new video game- that's smoofin' amazing. A special kind of high that even peppermint can't ever get you. Hey, I wanna show you something." Finley slapped Poof's back, then leaped past him to swipe his vidscreen projector from the kitchen counter.

Better than peppermint? Poof wondered about that as Finley moved to the couch and gestured for him to follow. "This will help," the pixie said. He turned on the projector and set it on the coffee table. A moment later, he'd pulled up some downloaded video of a bee colony saved to a folder marked IN CASE OF MIRACLE CLICK HERE.

It was, um… definitely a bee colony. There were lots of bees and stuff crawling around the empty honeycombs. The camera seemed to focus on one large bee in particular, tracking her movements through the hive as all the other bees swarmed around her. Yep. That was a beehive. Those were bees. Poof squinted, trying to sort meaning from the hum of wings. The video's duration said it lasted twenty minutes. After two, Foop stormed from his room and ordered them to turn down the volume because "I'm trying to work and you two ought to be ashamed of yourselves." Poof waited for five before he spoke.

"Why are we watching this?"

"Shh," Finley said, covering his mouth with two fingers. He didn't take his eyes from the screen. Sighing inwardly, Poof settled back and folded his arms. He tried to pay attention, really, but nothing happened in the video aside from all the bees running circles around their queen. His fingers itched for a little peppermint. Finally, he slipped his wand from its sheath and shook it to send a message to Goldie.

Guys' night out is getting awk :p Rescue me please?

It was three more minutes before she answered. Sorry! Shopping with Sis and Mom. :( Good luck and see you tomorrow! xoxo

Finley noticed him checking his wand's communicator and paused the video. "How is this not exciting for you?"

"What are you talking about?" After sheathing his wand, Poof upturned his hands at the screen. "This is just bees. Are you joking, or am I supposed to feel something about bees? I literally don't understand the point of this."

After a moment's heavy consideration, Finley shrugged and went back to watching. Poof shook his head in disbelief. He sucked on his bottom lip, then opened a new message window on his communicator. If Goldie was too busy to see him, then Anti-Marigold probably wasn't. The universe was funny that way. With a rattle of his wand, he sent a quick I'd love to talk roommate drama. Are you busy tonight? and waited for her reply. It was almost instantaneous.

At my place. Stomach hurts. Bring painkillers?

Poof blinked. Uh. Okay. Healing charms (and their corresponding curses) were Foop's line of study more than his, but he could give it a shot.

He hadn't swung by Anti-Marigold's apartment in probably a decade, but when he let himself in (the door was unlocked), not much had changed. Same old glass fruit bowl, same old black cat magnets on the freezer, same old blackened wood spatulas, same old hoodies and tank tops thrown everywhere you stepped. She hadn't taken down her winter trellis, or any of the paper reindeer taped on the window, just like how her summer trellis had still been up the last time he'd visited. The empty soda cans and candy wrappers were new, though. Not that Poof was shocked- she was legally an adult Anti-Fairy now, and if Poof were in her position, he'd have splurged on all the sugar he'd ever wanted too. Although, maybe it was for the best in the long run if he didn't have the option to buy peppermint in bulk…

Anti-Marigold herself lay crumpled on one end of the couch on the far side of the room, her arms around her torso and her face twisted up. She looked so absolutely tiny like that- smaller than even Foop. Goldie probably would have sprawled her limbs over as much of the couch as possible, but Anti-Marigold seemed to want to disappear. Poof shut the door behind him and poofed his coat onto an empty hook nearby.

"Hey." He lifted the pocket spellbook above his head. "I've got painkillers. What do you need?"

"I won the snake-eating contest," she mumbled by way of explanation. Poof chuckled. As he floated over to her, he flipped the book open to its middle.

"That's so you. Okay, let's see what I've got. Hm hm hm. So, uh…" He glanced again at the groggy anti-wisp, then at the book in his hand. His finger rested on the first step of the relief process. "Do you want me to just do it for you?"

"You, please. I'm in pain. Drank lots of soda. Didn't help."

Funny. She looked so like Goldie with her pigtails, the sharp point of her jaw, and the way she curled in all her toes, and yet… she also wasn't Goldie. Anti-Marigold carried herself through life with a less confident air, shying away to the fringes of a party rather than mingling with the big names in the center. She was delicate, fragile, but still so passionate about her dreams. The same blue eyes, but different faces.

Also, Goldie would never let him recite a painkilling charm on her if she was still awake enough to wave a wand. Poof cleared his throat and knelt down by the couch. "I'm gonna have to touch your bare stomach for this, okay?"

"Yep."

Poof was very aware of the quiet throughout her apartment. Her roommates must be out for the evening, and he really hoped they wouldn't find him here and gossip about his reasons for coming by alone. Especially if they found him with his hand up her shirt. Um. Hm. It was a little less weird to keep his attention on the spellbook while he did it. Don't make it weird, don't make it weird, he scolded himself, because Anti-Marigold was his friend, so it shouldn't be weird. She was sick and he was helping, and no one would judge him because it wasn't weird-

His fingers brushed across a row of four thin slits. Poof jerked his hand away. "Ah!"

"Huh?" she mumbled into her arm.

"I just- Sorry, sorry. I forgot anti-wisps have four stomach pouches. Sorry." Well, that's definitely not like Goldie. Don't go there. Stop it, stop it. Focus. Carefully, Poof placed his hand on her abdomen again. "How's that?"

Anti-Marigold hesitated. Her fingers tightened in the couch's arm. "Try a little lower, but… not too low."

"Gotcha." Poof slid his hand down accordingly. When she said that was good, he recited the charm listed in the spellbook. It wasn't a very long one, but it did take more energy out of him than he'd expected. His eyelids fluttered with sudden heaviness. Huh. Maybe he really would fall asleep tonight after all. Trying not to let on his exhaustion, he withdrew his hand. "Is that better?"

She stared up at him like she'd never seen him before, squinting at his face and yet a thousand cloudlengths beyond it. "Not yet."

"Well, it's just a charm. It'll take a few minutes to kick in." Poof shut the book again and balanced it between his knees. "Hey, have you seen Foop lately? He's barely around anymore, and when he is, he just gripes about migration routes. Seems like Hiccup's the one who fronts in the body most."

"Ugh." Anti-Marigold sat up, but kept her legs on the couch. "I've noticed. I've tried calling his wand when I know he's not in class, but he never answers, and he swears up and down he never hears it ring. But he says he's coming over a week before Naming Day to treat me to a nice dinner at this new restaurant he found, so that's keeping me going at the- Oh!"

"Huh?" Automatically, Poof followed her gaze to the cabinet beneath the entertainment system on the wall. One of Foop's silk button-up pajama shirts lay crumpled on the floor like it had been tossed there in the reckless heat of the moment and forgotten by morning. The red one. He'd been looking for that one for days. Poof's lips twitched into a smirk. Anti-Marigold covered her face with her hands.

"I won't pry," he assured her, even though he longed to needle her just for fun. Anti-Marigold was sort-of part of his friend group, but he wasn't sure if they were on playful joking terms yet, so he let the subject drop.

"Yeah," she said, dropping her attention to the ground. A few seconds of silence passed between them. Poof's eyes wandered to the ceiling.

"He talks about you all the time, you know. It's always" - He slipped into his best Foop impression - "'I'm terribly sorry, but I can't come; I'm going to see my girlfriend that day' and 'Someone tell me where I can find a bouquet that isn't an atrocious barf of colored mess!'"

Anti-Marigold blinked, saying nothing.

"So, anyway. Do you get to do anything special at Goldie's coronation tomorrow?"

"I'm not going."

Poof watched her from the corner of his eye, still sitting on the floor. "Oh."

Sigh. The anti-wisp rested her chin against her knee. "Can I ask something? How'd y'all learn to be okay with the fact that your girlfriend is dating both you and another drake?"

"I don't know. Everyone always told me that's just how wisps were, so I just accepted it. I get a lot of startled looks when I tell people I have a wisp girlfriend, but I just keep a positive attitude, I guess. I don't really care if rumors spread about me. I know what the truth is. It's not their life. It's mine."

Anti-Marigold seemed to consider this for a moment, chewing on the inside of her cheek. She loosened her grip on her knee. "How do you and Goldie find time to blitz and keep up with your regular life obligations?"

"Honestly? We only did it once."

She looked at him curiously. "Then who are y'all blitzing?"

"Nobody. I'm not active right now; Goldie and I only kiss."

"Shut up. Ten thousand years? I don't believe it for a sec."

Poof shrugged and straightened the spellbook in his lap. "The risk isn't worth it to me. I'll just wait until I'm ready to raise a kid. It's not a big deal."

"You can't get pregnant while Finley's pheromones are more dominant than yours." Her brows knit. "So… why did you and Goldie bother to use protection? Foop and I never honey-locked."

Poof scratched the back of his hair. "Well, I mean, it's… it wasn't gonna be your choice. It was… I wouldn't want to force you and Foop to do anything you didn't want to, just because you were born our counterparts."

Anti-Marigold half-bit a harsh laugh. "Then you're the only one who actually cares. You know Goldie's just been sleeping around with everyone for the last ten thousand years, right? I've tracked the dates. She'll spend all day flirting with you, and then she'll go skipping off to flirt with Daxton all night. She doesn't care if she uses protection or not."

"I'm sorry." As his eyes fogged up, Poof blinked to fight his tears. "That must be really hard for you, to not have a choice about pairing up. To just suddenly have to sleep with someone one night that's out of your control to say 'Yes' to. That would be pretty scary. You probably feel trapped and helpless, huh?"

Anti-Marigold snorted. "Yeah. Like you'd understand."

"I do-"

"No you don't," she muttered. Lying down again, she turned her back and folded up her wings. "When have Fairies ever gotten anything about Anti-Fairies right?"

Poof stared at her pigtails, his mouth still open. He shut it and looked away. The seconds ticked by. It was getting late. Tomorrow would be a long and crazy day. He really needed to rest up tonight.

"It's weird," he murmured, tilting back his head. "Goldie never, ever lets me see her vulnerable if she can help it. Her stress builds and builds itself into a wall. I try to talk to her, but she always shuts me out, and I'm her boyfriend. Then there's you. You've always let me come over even if you're sick, even if you're in your sloppiest pajamas, even if you're not wearing makeup. You're okay sharing your feelings with me, and we aren't even that close. Isn't it funny?"

Anti-Marigold didn't respond. When Poof turned around, he realized she had drifted off to sleep. Oh well. He left her to it, and swiped the candy canes from her candy bowl on his way out the door.

Goldie's coronation party was a flurry of activity. The celebration totally enveloped Pixie Woods and stretched all the way from the ambassador cabin's courtyard to the edge of Inkblot City itself. The Head Pixie was nowhere to be found, but Mr. Sanderson and Anti-Wanda sat at/on the table that displayed the guest book and half a cloud sculpture. Anti-Cosmo had shown up too, bouncing everywhere he went and keeping an extremely tight grip on Foop's upper arm the whole time.

Poof? Poof hovered around the water coolers near the ambassador cabin's front steps, constantly pouring ice cubes down the back of his neck and flushing almost as purple as his hair. His parents had raced each other to the dessert table the instant it was unveiled, spurting laughter and shoving each other and generally making goofballs of themselves in front of everyone, as per the norm. Dusty and Anti-Dusty were with them, probably. Sammy, however, lingered nearby (albeit out of pity more than desire to). Finley had actually put on his suit today, and it almost wasn't wrinkled. After Poof dumped his golden cup over his hair again, the pixie leaned his elbow against the cooler and reached down to fill his own. He didn't break eye contact. When he lifted the cup away, he swirled it in his hand.

"Some party, huh? And all for your girlfriend? Your networking game is strong, g-man. So…? Cheat code for your thoughts."

"Ha… ha…" Poof dabbed the sweat on his forehead away with the sleeve of his tuxedo. "Wow, there's sure a lot of drakes here tonight. Pixies and wisps?" He began to rethink his eternal refusal to work at Pixies Inc. Maybe it was about time he began a summer internship, especially if it meant he got to visit the will o' the wisp campground during his lunch break. Those guys made wearing dull brown look good. … Oh, and then he could see Goldie too. "Hey, get this: It turns out I'm into skittish nerds, like a lot, heh heh. Geez, Fin! You live like this?"

Finley scanned the courtyard, pressing the rim of his cup against his lips. "Eh, kind of a drag, really. The most exciting thing that happens around here each week is a cloudship hauling in the month's groceries. These just aren't my people."

"Smoof. Ha, have you ever noticed that Rosencrantz is like, ridiculously dorky in the most adorable way possible?"

"He's my big bro, bro."

"No, no, I know." Poof bounced on his toes and searched for any other familiar faces. Pixies were hard to tell apart, but he'd always been pretty good at it, poor memory or not. Call it popular kid social skills, or maybe something spiritual. It was funny. Wandering the woods with the Inkblot City skyline in the distance felt a little like coming home after a long zodiac cycle of school. Yeah. Maybe an internship wouldn't be so bad.

One particularly well-built pixie stood somewhat apart from the noisy social crowd, sipping grape juice and tracking Anti-Cosmo and Foop with his eyes. He wasn't saying or doing anything intimidating, but Poof instantly felt threatened by his presence alone. Now, that was something he could tell Finley: His preening fantasies definitely did not include being forced into a small space with a really creepy guy who was twice as buff as he was.

"Oh boy. Storm coming." Poof gestured across the courtyard with a sweep of his arm. "Who invited Cavatina?"

Sammy blinked and cocked his head. "What do you have against Cavatina?"

"The scar his knife left across prime preening territory?" Finley suggested, popping a strawberry in his mouth. Poof shook his head.

"Nothing really, but uggh. He's so bad at small talk. I mean, watch this. Hey, Cavatina!" No response, so Poof raised his voice even louder. "Cavatina Sanderson!"

That got his attention. The pixie finished his grape juice and slowly, very slowly, turned around. The stare he blazed into Poof's forehead could have frozen lava, even through his tinted shades. Undeterred, Poof forced a grin and flew up to him, still clutching his golden cup.

"Cav, hey! It's been like, centuries, huh? It's great to see you actually opening up at a party for once. You always look so tense, y'know? What changed your mind this time around?"

Cavatina gazed at him without blinking. "The secure knowledge that five years from now, I'll have your head on a silver platter. Why?"

"Haha, right back at ya, buddy. Stay minty, you." He withdrew a few beats away with a roll of his eyes. "See what I mean? Total mood-killer, Sammy. There's no talking to this guy." Why was he even here if he was just going to stand by himself and shut down all attempts at conversation? That was just mean. Poof shook his head and tugged one of his sleeves. "Geez, I'm starving. When do we get to eat those cupcakes?"

"Poof? Hey, Poof!"

Poof spun around. "Daxton?"

Indeed, the will o' the wisp was elbowing his way gently through the crowd and waving his hand for attention. He wore a black suit instead of his usual brown today, although it already had a smear of chocolate frosting on one side that looked just like the swirl of his hair. Goldie held his forearm, trying to fix her slipper while staying airborne. Gosh, she looked good. Her hair was all pinned up in pretty curls instead of loose strings or familiar pigtails. She might have conflicting feelings about the typical low-cut bodices and short-hem skirts common in will o' the wisp fashion, but hey, he wasn't complaining. Her black dress shimmered with little emerald fireworks whenever she moved, and she carried so many beads around her neck that it looked like they would weigh her down (P.S. Worth it).

"I'll let you have some privacy," Sammy said, giving Poof two pats on the shoulder. He barely noticed. His chest swelled. Flying forward, he shouted, "Goldie!"

She let go of her foot and raised her arms to hug him. Daxton barely let go of her in time, because when Poof slammed into her, they both went hurtling past him into the crowd. "Poof," Goldie gasped, pushing at his face. "You'll ruin my hair!"

"Aww!" Poof slowed their cannonball motion with a whirr of his wings. When she was floating steadily, he released her shoulders. "Geez, it's so good to see you both! I was worried you'd have to spend all day on the stage being boring."

"I don't do boring," Goldie said cheerfully, then followed a nearby pixie with her eyes. She smirked. "Well, actually…"

"Same old Goldie," Poof teased, butting her forehead with his own.

They rejoined Daxton at the dessert table, and Poof caught them both up to speed on his week of recognizing his interest in drones. Daxton had way too much fun pointing to random people in the crowd and asking Poof if he could sense whether they were drones or kabouters, and teasing that he should sip a little soda and see if that helped. When the wisp spotted one of his brothers and hurried off for a chat, Poof decided to be selfish for once and pull Goldie away for a quick, private kiss on the back porch of the cabin. Gosh, he just never got tired of spontaneous moments like that. He'd have gone on longer if Foop hadn't stumbled across them while trying to duck away from his father and loudly said, "Ahem?"

"Oh, shut up," Poof muttered, their moment dissipating. Goldie studied Foop with a grin, and clamped onto his arm. He looked shocked and delighted for about two seconds, until she yanked him down the steps calling, "Anti-Cosmo! Look who I found hiding!"

"No!" Foop screamed, flailing for a handhold. Poof followed them back to the front courtyard with a chuckle.

"Sorry, dude. You deserved that."

Foop was returned to Anti-Cosmo's custody, and Goldie intertwined her fingers with Poof's as they wandered the party. Poof left her for a moment to grab a cupcake and check in with his parents, and when he found her again, she was sitting at a table just for two away from most of the noise. It looked cozy and private, but she'd probably be accepting congratulations all evening. A wisp drake with blue hair had just set a plate of salad in front of her, and breadsticks. She thanked him, smile straining. Poof took the seat opposite his girlfriend, following the drake with his eyes as he fluttered off. Leaning over to Goldie, he tapped her hand and asked, "Would you do that guy with blue hair? He seems pretty cute."

That perked her out of her socially exhausted mood. Her smile became genuine. "Meh. I could take him or leave him. He's nice, but he slouches too much. Besides, old family friend. He's almost like a cousin to me."

"Ah, gotcha."

"Okay, your turn. If you had the chance, would you preen that elf drake over by Mr. Longwood with the pink boutineer?"

"Mm, maybe. As long as he was enjoying it." Poof took a breadstick from the basket. "Okay, but what about that green-haired one over there? Would you do him?"

She turned around to see who he was looking at, then grinned. "Oh, absolutely. Would you preen him if he turns out to be a drone?"

"I could see us snuggling in bed."

"I'll keep an eye on him." Goldie linked her fingers below her chin. "Now the real question is, would you ever preen a pixie?"

"Probably, but not if I thought Finley would find out. I don't wanna make it weird. Maybe after we're all graduated and moved out, though. All right, would you ever do a pixie?"

"Already did, couple years back." She put her finger to her lips. "H.P. was ma~ad."

Poof chuckled and balanced his chin on his knuckles. "Geez, Goldie. I love that we can just talk about this, totally open, no judgment or jealousy. I just love this, y'know?"

She grinned back at him. "I love it too. It's awesome that you're into drones now. Actually, that's what I wanted to talk about."

"Ahaha… What do you mean?"

Goldie shrugged, poking through the leaves of her salad with her fork. Poof wondered who had given it to her, since she'd hated salad ever since they were kids. "Sorry, Poof. I don't mean to put ya on the spot, but as the new wisp ambassador, this is my one day I'm allowed to choose any wisp drake here tonight and invite him to join my future harem. No limits, no exceptions. I'm already dating you and Daxton, and I'm not looking for anyone else right now. So if you're taking an interest in drones, I thought I'd let y'all do the picking for me."

His skin prickled. His wings fluttered against the back of his chair. "Seriously? You're okay with that? Like, me just picking for me?"

"Of course." She flicked her hair behind her shoulder. "I wouldn't offer it if I wasn't, now would I?"

"Thank you! Thank you! Aw, our life is gonna be amazing. You can live in the cabin, and I'll get a job at Pixies Inc. and come to see you all the time, and we'll share kisses by the window in the glow of the trellis lights, and I'll have a drone or two I really like, and I'll try to get comfortable with preening which will be great because you'll always have Daxton to kiss while I'm busy doing that, and everyone can have one big cuddle puddle while we drink milkshakes and watch old reruns together-"

Poof froze, staring at the way she covered her mouth when she giggled. He bit his lip. His hands, high above his head, came down again. "Why are you laughing at me?"

Goldie shook her head and took her first bite of salad with a smile. "You're just always so innocent, like a big little kid. It's endearing."

"Oh," he said. He plucked at the wrapper of his cupcake in silence. What was that supposed to mean? Did she ever take him seriously, like, ever? Crumpling the wrapper in his fist, he rose to his wings. "I should go find my parents before the ceremony starts."

Goldie wrapped her fingers around his wrist. "One more thing, hon."

Chills ran up his arm and down his spine. The chatter of everyone dining around them suddenly seemed a lot softer, like they were alone. Poof turned around. "Yeah?"

Her tongue poked from one side of her lips and made a nervous sweep. "You know how my primary partner and I are supposed to, ah, consummate the ambassador cabin after my coronation's over?"

He nodded. "I'm okay with you and Daxton. Really, Goldie. I know what I signed up for when I agreed to date you. This is important to you, and I'm always gonna respect and support you in that. You don't have to worry about me being jealous."

A beat of silence. Goldie searched his face. Her fingers loosened. "Actually, I talked with Daxton, and, well… I'd really, really like it if y'all finished being on 'break' with me and chose to honor me with your presence tonight. If you're okay with it!"

That threw him. Poof's wings went rigid. His stomach squeezed into a spaghetti noodle. "Oh," he said. "'Me' as in me me?"

Goldie bit her lip. She dropped his arm and smoothed the ruffles of her black and green dress over her knee. "I know we're on 'break' from going that far, but… It's been over 10,000 years, Poof, so I thought it would be okay to ask if y'all are ready again. I miss you."

"Um. Yeah, okay. I'll get back to you on that after the party. I have to talk to my parents first, y'know?"

At that, Goldie's face lit like a star. She threw her arms around him and squeezed him in a hug. She even squealed in his ear. Then she flew off, totally abandoning her salad… and him, standing there, stunned and stony. Automatically, Poof reached towards his back pocket where he usually kept half a candy cane or a baggie of crushed peppermint on hand. It wasn't there. Tuxedo.

He found his parents feeding each other pieces of blueberry pie at a table for two, which they happily turned into a table for three by grabbing him a chair. Poof sat down in a daze. He meant to be basically normal and conversational, but the first words out of his mouth when he lifted his head were, "Dad? How could you do it?"

Dad blinked, his forkful of blueberry pie faltering an inch from Mama's mouth. His bow tie was drastically askew, his grass-green hair ruffled in the wrong direction. He lowered the fork. "Uh… You're gonna need to be more specific. I do a lot of things I'm not always proud of, Poofster."

Poof dropped his face into his hands. "How can you and Mama be okay with doing intimate stuff when… when you know how it affects the Anti-Fairies? When we pair up, so do they. They don't even have a choice. Does that ever bother you?"

At that innocent accusation, Dad's eyes trailed down to the ring wrapped over the middle finger of his right hand. The band was silver, the gem attached to it a tiny emerald. It shouldn't have really been on his hand if he were smarter. That was the ring he'd picked for Mama. Poof had asked his Dad to whisper the story sometimes when he needed happy thoughts to lull him off to sleep. Dad always said he'd begged Mama a million times to switch it for the one he'd proposed to her with - the chewed pen cap he'd stupidly grabbed from his pocket instead of the velvet box that night they'd gone out dancing - but she'd turned right around and slipped it over his finger instead. The cap had been fused magically onto a simple ring of metal forever after. "This will always remind me how much you love me," she'd supposedly told him as he stammered and flushed. "And I hope that me giving you back your emerald one will always make you think of how much I love you."

"I love Wanda," Dad said simply, feeding her the bite of pie at last. "That's just how it is. Anti-Cosmo has to deal with that."

"Mmf," Poof mumbled, slouching against one hand. He ran his fingers through his hair, tugging at a tangle he hadn't quite brushed out.

"Is something bothering you?" Mama asked, raising a spoonful of soup to her lips.

"Pfft. You mean, besides the fact that all the drones at this party are setting off my raging gyne hormones?"

She smiled. "Besides that."

Poof pressed at the skin above his eye, practically peeling his eyelid back into his forehead. He let go. "Were either of you guys ever friends with a gyne when you were growing up?"

"Uh…" Dad tapped his fork against his chin and glanced at Mama. "Does Juandissimo count?"

"No, sweetie."

"Okay! Then nope." He poked happily at his biscuit. Poof stared at the shadows of ice cubes floating in his golden cup. His fingers tightened in the tablecloth.

"All right. Maybe I shouldn't say this at the dinner table, but Finley was talking to me about gyne and drone things last night, and I have a question. Would you guys think it's weird if I told you I literally always get bored while watching video clips of insects crawling all over each other?"

Dad choked on his biscuit with a startled laugh. Shielding his mouth with his fingers, he managed, "Where do you kids find that stuff nowadays? Uncle Schnozmo used to get me to draw pictures of bugs hugging back when we were little!"

"It's… usually stimulatory for Fairies," Mama said carefully. She mashed her potatoes with the tines of her fork in both directions, three times each, before she actually took a bite. "Some people find themselves more affected than others. And of course, it generally, ah, helps if the insects you're watching match the ones you share genetics with."

Poof dropped his hand from his cheek and straightened up. "So it's really a thing? People actually use that stuff to get in the mood? I always thought it was a metaphor, or everyone was exaggerating. I mean, Hiccup watches bat courtship videos while he cooks like every day he's out front, and I just thought he was kidding when he said they're like soap operas. Now it's just gonna be weird to hear it. Oh geez, it's gonna be so weird. Uggghh…" He shook his head, flexing his fingers around his plate. "What's wrong with me? Watching insect retinue videos just doesn't do anything for me. I like drones, but I don't wanna preen them, y'know? Is that an option? It's like, I couldn't even form a single preening fantasy I liked in my head. Even when I tried. I was okay giving licks if my imaginary drone was into it, but I didn't want it the other way around. That's what I was up all night thinking about: Preening's kind of weird and sweaty and gross. I don't really wanna do it."

Mama sipped her soup again, tapping her fingers on the edge of the table. "It sounds like you've done a lot of thinking lately. And that's why you're so fidgety tonight?"

"Tch." Poof wrung the edge of the tablecloth in his hands and shrank into his wings. "Not totally. Um, there's something else I wanna say too. I'm just gonna dive right into it and pretend I'm not freaking out, okay?" His fist clenched the ball he'd made with the cloth. "See, the thing is, Goldie's kind of expected to cons… consum… Basically, she's supposed to sleep with her 'primary partner' tonight, and she… she asked me to, uh… do it with her. So, um. I s-said I'd have to talk to you guys about it first. Um, yeah."

Mama grasped the backs of Dad's knuckles and squeezed. "Poof… the last thing in the world Cosmo and I would ever want to do is come between you and your happiness."

Dad coughed into his fist, then glanced away with one finger tugging at his collar. "Y'know, Wanda and I weren't married the first time we did that, either. But technically, there was all this politics stuff with Anti-Cosmo pushing us together because he wanted an heir, so, uh… We get it, Poofster."

The nervous expression clamped itself on his face. His fingers clenched in his hair. "Ahahaha… What? You're serious? You're like, okay with that?"

"Fairies mate for life, Poof," Mama murmured. "If you and Goldie want to give your souls away, then that's your decision to make."

Poof shifted his gaze back and forth between them. They exchanged a glance, then nodded at each other, and at him again. No. No, this couldn't be happening. They supported this? For crying out loud, he was barely 160,000! He was still in high school! This couldn't be happening.

His core thudding in his forehead, Poof dropped his eyes to his soup bowl and clenched his hands in his lap. "I don't want to do it," he whispered. "If it's my choice, can I make that one?"

Both his parents blinked in unison. Dad blinked twice. "You don't want to?" Mama asked. "Well, that's fine, but uh… We meant it when we said we'd be okay with it. We know how much you like her."

"I DO like her, a lot, but I just… I…"

Dad bobbed his head. "Sure, you're young, but we understand how crazy good it feels to be young and in love. Wanda and I've talked a lot, and we'd rather give you our blessing to be together and still get to be a part of your lives, and not have you guys run away from your families like we did when we were kids. We love and accept our big, goofy, freckle-y son, no matter what he does."

Poof ran his tongue across the gap between his front teeth. "Ohhh, geez. Oh geez. Uh. Erm. Mama? Dad? There's something I need to tell you, about me and Goldie. See, we kind of already did do it once. Sleep together. I mean, we weren't asleep. We were awake. Blitzing."

"We know," they chorused, their eyes softening.

"What?" Poof flopped back in his seat and threw his hands up. "Aren't you ever going to let me surprise you? Like, ever? Come on! I was really good at keeping that secret. How'd you find out?"

Dad shook his head, smothering a giggle in his tie. "Poof, let's talk about the changes that happen to pheromones when you stop being a virgin."

"Dad, gross! I'm still eating."

"When a gyne loves a damsel very much-"

"Noooo!" he whined, his wings fluttering up. He gripped the table's edge. "No…"

"Poof," Mama said suddenly. She set down her fork. "Are you okay?"

"Me? N-no."

"You're crying. Can we help? What do you need?"

"Oh geez, here we go again," Poof hiccuped, covering his eyes. Were people staring at them? Didn't know, didn't really care. "This is crazy. Goldie's okay with me sleeping with her, her mom's okay with me sleeping with her, Daxton's okay with me sleeping with her, you guys are okay with me sleeping with her, so what's MY problem? I already did it once; this shouldn't freak me out so much. At least this time, I'll actually remember doing it when it's over…"

Dad and Mama looked at each other again. Then Dad leaned across the table, clenching the edge with his fingertips. He lowered his voice. "Poofster? Do you want to go home?"

Poof blinked, groping for the word. "H-home?"

"Poof, we can go home right now. You don't have to explain why you want to. Do you want to go home?"

Whimpering, Poof shook his head and pulled his hair into his eyes. Dad raised both eyebrows.

"Okay, that's fine. Do you want to stay here?"

Poof shook his head again.

"What do you want?" Mama asked softly. Reaching forward, she tucked a wild scrap of hair behind his ear. "You can talk to us if you want to, sport, or you can choose not to, if it's too hard right now. Take your time. We're right here, and we'll listen to as much or as little as-"

"I never told you it happened because I don't remember!"

Brief silence fell over their table. Poof shoved the heels of both hands against his mouth and screamed a muffled noise. Maybe people stared at him? Yes? No? His hands dropped to his lap.

"Th-the first time Goldie and I blitzed, I mean. I mean, she says it happened? And like, I kind of remember doing it? Like it's real fuzzy, but I remember when it was, like on the calendar, but I don't remember where we were, or taking my clothes off, or how it even went at all. I-isn't that funny?" The tears spilled over. Poof reached up to catch them in his palm. His entire body began to shake itself apart. "Ha… ha… I was so high on peppermint, I barely even remember anything. Isn't that weird? I definitely don't remember saying 'Yes.' But I mean, I did, right? Goldie wouldn't… she would never… if I didn't say 'Yes.' I just don't remember saying it. Isn't that hilarious?"

"Poofster," Dad began.

"But it's not a big deal, right?" His voice lifted in pitch, fingers curling tighter. "I mean, I've known her ever since we were kids, and we've always been friends, and I'm dating her, and she loves me, so it's okay, right? We used all the protection and everything, somehow. I didn't get pregnant or get any diseases. I know I kissed her, and she said they were the best kisses we'd ever had, so I must have liked it, I guess. I don't know? Nothing bad happened, so why can't I get over this? Why do I just waste all my time and money on peppermint? Me and Goldie are still friends- I'm not mad at her. Should I be mad? I don't know, I don't know. All I know is that I'm a fairy, and I already had stupid sex with her once, and- and fairies mate for life a-and that means I'm never going to love anybody ever again, so why should I even think about breaking up with her-"

"No, no, Poof-" Mama's hand flew to her mouth. "Poof, you can still love someone else again!"

"You hate me," he sobbed, flattening his ears. Searing magic rippled through his blood. "Why did I get myself in that situation? Why did I take so much peppermint? I'm stupid, I'm an idiot, I can't even be mad at her because I gave the wrong signals, why am I like this? You guys hate me! You're mad at me. Oh geez, I hate myself…"

Mama squirmed in her seat, her hands clenching and unclenching, but Dad rested his head on his folded arms and never broke eye contact. "Poof? I'm not mad, okay? Wanda's not mad either. We want to help you. We don't hate you."

"Yes you do!" Poof was in the air now, covering his mouth. His wings whirred. "Look at me! I'm just a big, stupid idiot!"

Maybe people looked over at them? Maybe not?

"Good- we love idiots in this family. I really love you. Even if I did hate you, I'd still love you more than I hate you. I really, really love you, Poofster."

"Huh?"

"It's okay to be angry. You can be mad if you want to. Take your time. Do you want to talk about it?"

It took a few seconds, but Poof settled down in his chair again. He gripped the underside of the seat with both hands. "Y-yeah. I'm not mad at Goldie. I was never mad. Just kinda disappointed, you know? I wanna talk with you guys."

"Okay. Do you want to go home?"

Poof shook his head, splattering his hair.

"Okay, neat. Is it okay if we talk right here, then?"

"I think so? I want to, i-if you're not embarrassed."

Mama actually did look a little uncomfortable, but to her credit, she kept her attention on him; she never was as good at calming him down as Dad was, which was probably his own fault for being such a difficult baby. Dad nodded, smoothing his wings against his back. "Sure, okay. We can stay here while we talk. What do you want to say?"

"I don't know, I don't know." Poof covered his ears, squeezing his eyes shut. He ruffled his curls with his fingers. "I don't hate Goldie. I'm not really mad at her. I think she thought I said 'Yes' and that I wasn't as high as I was. I don't know if I'm even allowed to be mad at her, because I think I probably liked it? Everything was in slow motion. I can't remember exactly what happened. I know I was on peppermint. Most of it's fuzzy." He inhaled through his nose. "I don't even know where we were. Out in the grass? The dugout on the saucerbee field? The castle? Her dorm? My dorm? I don't know. I just remember sugaring up and asking her, 'Isn't it weird how one day, someone just decided we should count things? And then we got a number system out of it?' I remember that. That's the part I remember. Freakin' dust, I must've been so high. What came after that? Ha… I have no idea! I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. Why don't I know? I can't remember. I can't remember anything. Was it even the peppermint, or was it just me? Did I just forget because I'm stupid? I'm so stupid, I'm so stupid, I hate myself, I just wish I was smart like you and Dusty, Mama-" His stammering turned to heaving gasps that wracked his body like slicing scissors.

"Poof?" Instantly, Dad was on his side of the table. Mama bolted after him, but Dad got there first. He flung his arms around Poof's shoulders, smushing his head against his chest. He brought his chin down on Poof's head. Poof squirmed, trying to push him off. Dad's arms loosened, but his hand kept moving up and down between his wings. "Hey, hey. Deep breaths. Deep breaths. You're okay. It's okay. It's Daddy and Mommy. We love you, Poofster."

Wouldn't stop. Wouldn't stop. Poof tried to take deep breaths- he really did try. But with the air tasting dry and dirty and his jittery nerves going all over the place, it took several minutes before he calmed himself down again. Sweat stuck his hair flat against his forehead. His neck was sweaty too. Yeah, ew, his armpits were probably so gross right now. Poof buried his face in Dad's shirt, crumpling his tie with his fist. His wings rattled. Hiccuping, he rubbed his eyes again.

"Dad? Are you mad at me for still taking peppermint? I tried to quit. I promise, I really tried to."

"I'm not mad, Poof. You're okay, and I love you."

"That's good," Poof whispered, closing his eyes. He wound his dad's tie around his wrist. It was cool and familiar in his hand. "Hff, hff… I guess I do remember bits and pieces of what came after the counting thing. I remember telling Goldie she was beautiful. I remember her giggling. I remember thinking it was such a blitzing brilliant idea to hang out alone. I remember the way her shirt was way too big on her and the way it hung when she leaned over me… I just don't remember saying 'Yes.' I must've took too much peppermint, maybe I just plain forgot, I'm such an idiot, I'm such an idiot-"

"Hey." Dad tousled the back of Poof's hair with his hand. "We love you, Poofster. We're going to help you. You're going to be okay soon."

Was he? Poof bit his lip. "M-mostly I just remember the peppermint part. I knew I was taking a ton, but I always take a ton, y'know? I didn't know I'd get up the next day without my clothes on." His hands clenched. "Dad- Dad, I didn't mean to sleep with her! Or maybe I did? Maybe I really wanted to and maybe I said 'Yes' and just forgot? I don't know, but you have to believe me! I'm sorry. I know I should've told you, but I just got so scared you and Mama were gonna find out we did it, so…"

Dad didn't quite stifle his snicker. "Really? That's funny. You're telling me this even though you're scared? Why would you be scared of me? I'm the coolest dad ever. You can tell me anything, and I'll never love you any less."

Well, that was true. Not a lot upset his Dad, except for when his car got dinged or he was in one of his depressed mood swings. Poof laughed without a trace of humor and snuggled deeper into his chest. His wings drooped. "Yeah… I was more scared of you guys finding out we did it and kept it a secret than I am about you finding out we did it in the first place. I'm sorry I got scared. I should have told you right after it happened. Please don't be too mad…"

"Poof." Dad pushed back his hair and kissed his forehead. "Hey. The only thing that would make me mad is if you ever stopped loving me as much as I love you."

How much did his dad love him? Poof wasn't sure, especially since he was probably freakin' furious right now and just doing a really good job of hiding it in public. Sniffling, Poof opened his eyes. "Dad, I really want to quit. I just can't. I haven't gone eight hours without peppermint since that day with Goldie. Cripes, it's been years. Centuries? I dunno; I've been high for most of it. How long's it been? Someone said 10,000 years. Feels like 100,000 to me, and I still can't get over it. Wow, I'm a mess. Idiot." He rubbed his temples in sharp circles. "But it's easy."

"Easy?" Dad asked softly, stroking his hair.

"Uh-huh… When I'm on peppermint, I can forget about what's bothering me." Poof blinked at his tears, but didn't try to wipe them away. His wings jittered. "S-see, the thing is, I just can't stop thinking about Foop and Anti-Goldie. I don't wanna make them do anything they don't want to. That's not fair to them. I wouldn't want Foop to do anything like that to my life if I had to be the one to copy him, so why should I be controlling his life like this? It should be his choice, you know? He sh-shouldn't have to be forced if he doesn't want to."

"No, he shouldn't."

Poof stared at a speck far in the distance, his fingers tight in the back of his father's shirt. "I still like her. I was never mad, just… surprised. Is it okay to feel like this? If… if I just marry her, do you think it'll stop bothering me that I didn't want to do it the first time?"

"We should think about this before we make rash decisions," Mama started to say, but Poof tuned out the rest. Turning his head, he mumbled, "That's how we make the Anti-Fairies deal with it. We seem to think it works out for them okay."