"S-So… what you're saying is that Aizen somehow gave her a new personality?"
Grimmjow clicked his tongue and looked to the side, annoyed and impatient. He never implied anything like that.
"I'm saying that there's two of 'em."
…
…
…
SEPTEMBER 26 - AFTERNOON
Falling.
Katsuko gasped when she found herself falling into a darkness, endless and quiet. Quiet panic flickered across her features when she realized she was falling head first. Her body hastily shifted around and when she positioned herself upright, the momentum stopped and her feet touched solid ground without any impact.
It all just stopped.
After landing in an alert position, she didn't make a single move, but her dark brown eyes darted around, searching for a source of light, colour, anything at all that was a tad bit lighter than the darkness around her. The only contrast from this darkness was the already faded white ripples spreading out from where she landed.
What's going on here…?
Where am I…?
As she took a step back, the sound akin to rushing waves began echoing around her. The source? Right in front of her. In this abyss, a shadowy figure with no specific outline started emerging from the floor until black waves fell off like a blanket draped around something and it sank into the floor, creating more white ripples. Her surroundings started lighting up a little to the point where she could see black-gray like flames flowing around. Now, she could make out the figure in front of her. It was a taller faceless black being wearing a black Shihakusho with a white sash, and black and white sandals.
As soon as it lifted its head, it got into position to fight just as a black sword started forming in its hand, causing Katsuko to reach for her Zanpakuto.
Nothing.
She didn't have her sword with her.
A buzzing-like sound switched the gears in her brain, sensing danger coming her way. Her eyes caught sight of a white ball of energy followed by its rapid approach, prompting her to jump away and dodge the faceless being that attacked the spot she just stood in. It made black waves erupt and fly high in the air.
There wasn't much time to think with how it continued lunging at her. Kido was working after she tested it. Once she started fighting back, it became easier to fight back against the figure since she could see it move into more defensive positions. It almost made her dizzy with how white ripples appeared everywhere with every step their dance made on the floor.
It wasn't weak nor was it strong.
With a strategic move of luring in the entity's attack, she sidestepped and lunged forward with a glowing blue hand that flickered.
Her hand made contact with its blank face and the power from it pushed the entity back with a blast. An attack meant to not only repulse but also damage. The attack made it stagger when it tried regaining its footing and then it stopped completely when it gained its balance, but then the head tilted downwards and then there was a white crack on its face.
Katsuko paused when curiosity drew her two steps forward, wondering what was underneath.
If this was the thing keeping her trapped in this abyss… What was it?
Was it the Hollow?
More cracks traveled across its face until the shell of black around its face burst outwards, revealing something she couldn't make out as brightness engulfed her vision, hiding the identity of whatever was underneath.
…
…
…
Looking through my window, I watched the clouds slowly move with immense disinterest. In my hand, I twirled a little stick. I found it outside when I wandered around to try and feed the monster inside me known as boredom. This little stick I found reminded me of how my uncle would often twirl around his calligraphy brush before dipping it in ink. An interesting trick.
I sighed a little sigh. The temperature was just right for taking a nap somewhere... Maybe if I fell asleep and woke up tomorrow, I'd find something much more interesting.
"-…-..-.-."
I heard the door open. It was my mother. She smiled at me and beckoned me over to join her side.
With a flick of my wrist, I threw the stick out the window to obediently join her side. "Yes, mother?"
"It's time to meet them."
"Oh. I almost forgot about that." I shrugged with a sheepish grin. "I was so bored today that I completely forgot about everything else."
And I didn't really make an effort to remember.
"Do you at least know what day it is today?" she asked cheekily.
"Of course." I replied proudly. I told her it was three days from today, prompting her to lightly pinch my cheek as I snickered. I closed the door behind me and followed my mother down the long hallway. My fingers kept fidgeting, replicating my uncle's hand movements. Soon, I should be able to get it right.
When I arrived in the room where our guests were waiting, I saw two guys. One of them had bright red hair while the other had brown. Abnormal and normal.
"Hiimigyo Sakuto and Hiimigyo Rouen." My mother gestured to each one. The two of them smiled amicably with words of greeting at me while I simply nodded my head to them with a curt greeting, borderline rude yet still polite. Red was Sakuto. Plain was Rouen.
That's the first time I met them.
But not the first I heard of them.
With a polite smile, I held out my hand for a handshake. They each returned the gesture just as politely as if to avoid any type of misconduct that could reveal their inner desire.
Crafty.
It was getting a tad bit annoying.
Or maybe immensely.
Every time I felt their presence near me, I started to feel drained of my energy for the day. In a way, they were like leeches.
My eyes looked up from my book to watch Sakuto and Rouen approach me. They were smiling at me as they greeted me politely. That didn't dissuade me from my feelings. Innocent outlooks are ineffective against me. In their case, it only served to make me feel even more annoyed. I am most certain that they hide nothing but hate underneath.
"Hello, -…-..-.-. Enjoying the weather?"
Yes. Until you shat on it.
"The wind felt nice today. I suppose you came out for the same reason, Rouen, Sakuto?"
Sakuto chuckled a little and shook his head. "I wish. But we have matters to attend to. You're needed back there."
Oh?
I bookmarked my book and gave them a curious look. "What for?"
Rouen crossed his arms and tilted his head, his face appearing troubled… or just tired. I couldn't tell. "Not sure. I just know that Hana is involved."
Hana? That girl I've rarely seen or spoken to in my entire life? If she's there, then it must be some important discussion. It wouldn't just be me present there then. This was going to be an important talk. If that was the case, I really didn't want to go for the reason that I would be stuck enduring boring pointless talks. The tension between our families just made me indifferent. I'm not stupid. I know what's under it all. Pure animosity. And I don't care for it.
Alas, I had responsibilities.
"Alright, then." I shut my book and got up from my spot under the tree, ignoring Sakuto and Rouen as I passed them by, not caring whether or not they followed, or simply glared at my back.
School started a few weeks ago.
There wasn't much going on since it was mostly an introduction with slow learning processes. But just within the first few days, we could already see who was going to stand out. I was among those who walked ahead of my classmates, leaving them to watch my back as I will forever stand before them. It was just in my nature to do so.
I'm just cool like that.
"-…-..-.-"
A voice sought me out while I was busy staring outside the window. I was hoping to remain undisturbed until class finally started… but I guess not all things go the way you want them to.
Nonchalantly, I turned away from the glass to see an orange haired young man. He was smiling kindly while holding out a paper. He said it was from a teacher. With a quirked brow, I plucked it out of his hands and gave him a side stare. I knew this guy.
Kurosaki Ichigo.
How could I not?
Like me, he stood out among his peers.
And like me, it seemed like he would leave his shadow behind as the only piece of him others could try and touch, forever out of reach because of their inferiority.
And somehow, I was drawn to him.
He looked so… normal.
I found him interesting.
With a mischievous smile, I gave Kurosaki a close eyed smile and set the paper on the wooden surface. "I'm sorry… I don't think we've been properly introduced. You're Kurosaki Ichigo, are you not?"
"That's right. I, like you, knew your name was -…-..-.-." He revealed. Ah. Of course. If I stood out like a star, he would notice me as well.
I chuckled to myself and leaned on my elbows. He just stood there smiling at me out of politeness... Any other of our classmates would properly call him out for being disrespectful if he didn't do the minimum courtesy.
And the last thing I wanted to deal with was complaints from anyone regarding ridiculous greetings. But clearly, I wasn't going to be too worried since Kurosaki Ichigo didn't seem like someone who would be all about status. It seemed like he only cared enough to appear that way in front of others.
That was perfect.
With an innocent grin, I held out my hand for a handshake.
"-…-…-..- -…-..-.-. Wanna be friends?"
It wasn't like me to be so forward…
But I wanted to get to know this person…
It could be fun.
Kurosaki Ichigo must have been confused with how I suddenly shot this question. It really came out of nowhere. To be friends with this person that was no more than a stranger ten seconds ago… How odd. But even so, it didn't dissuade Kurosaki Ichigo. In fact, his interest might have been slightly piqued…
"Sure, why not?" He shrugged and shook my hand. "Kurosaki Ichigo." He reintroduced himself with a smile.
Like static, his image shifted and blurred before being replaced by another face, another person, a different hand. Dark brown hair and dark brown eyes, and black framed glasses, a kind smile… Almost immediately, I tugged my hand away as I remembered who this person was. My hand easily slipped out of his and I stood up from my desk to back away from him. I was so confused.
Aizen Sousuke.
I looked around rapidly and noticed the other students in their uniforms were frozen in place as if time stood still. The next thing my eyes saw was the big window on the right side. There was a big tree just outside, the green leaves and the brown tree trunk were darker than usual from being faced away from the sun.
I could see myself thanks to the contrast.
… It was supposed to be me.
But I saw someone else.
A tall young man with ash blond hair and crystal green eyes wearing something similar to a Shihakusho. The kosode was white with blue stripes while the hakama was blue.
He looked like my Hollow…
… And also, I know this uniform.
I know this place…
This is…
…
…
…
Katsuko blinked.
"Shin'o Academy."
The second she uttered the name, she jolted, and her hand slapped over her mouth before looking down at the floor. A second shock hit her when she was quick to note what she was looking at. A bloodstained Luppi was on the floor unconscious. His sword was sitting next to his body. Not just that, there was blood splattered in different areas of the room. Wait. Room? Wasn't she outside? Yeah. She was outside! How did she end up back inside Las Noches—
"Gah…!"
Katsuko lifted her hand to her head when she suddenly felt lightheaded, and she dropped the Zanpakuto she didn't realize she was holding until it clattered loudly on the ground. In flashes, she was beginning to remember what just happened to her.
It didn't feel like a distant memory. When it came rushing back to her, she could feel it as if she consciously lived it.
She willingly walked back into Las Noches…
She encountered Luppi… he wasn't happy.
And…
Oh god…
"You bitch!"
"Huh? Are you talking about me?"
Luppi lunged at her without delay, thirsty for payback. Katsuko took out her Zanpakuto and effortlessly guarded to stare at him indifferently. Luppi growled and took several swings at her which she backstepped from before stopping his blade by guarding again.
"You look like you want to end my life… am I wrong?"
"No, you're absolutely correct! I want to rip off your pretty little head and feed it to the lowly Hollows outside Las Noches!" He seethed. "I want there to be nothing left of you!"
"Wow. You're making such a big deal out of… wait, why do you want to kill me? Did I step on your toe?"
"Don't mock—"
Katsuko flicked aside his blade and forced him into an awkward position before grabbing the front of his clothes and slicing his throat with a quick stroke without hesitation. He didn't even feel the blade pass. It was smooth and soundless. His surprised gurgling was his initial response as he stumbled back after she released him. He could see the twisted grin on her face as she wagged her finger, tutting.
"You talk too much."
Before he could fall, she reached out to grab his wrist and leaned close enough so that her breath ghosted over his face. Her dark brown eyes met his lavender ones, her mocking ones staring at into bewildered ones. "Aw, all that talk and you could not kill me… Do you want to try again? I can give you another chance."
They fought.
Nine times.
She killed him nine times.
And she revived him nine times.
FUCK!
Katsuko backed away from Luppi and saw the blood on her sword that she didn't quite notice up until now. It was like the saturation of the blood's hue increased to make it stand out to her eyes. That was her sword, right?! What the hell?! What kind of high was she on to not even realize she killed someone several times?! The fact that she remembered it now hit her like a goddamn truck. It was horrifying to remember and feel it so clearly. But why?! That wasn't her!
Katsuko approached Luppi's body and stuck her sword deep into his thigh. He hissed and tried grabbing his own sword until her foot kicked his shoulder.
"You need to speak… so that I can count… how many times I bring you back."
She twisted the blade and grabbed his head to slam him into the floor.
"Come on, Loly. You always had something to say."
Katsuko clenched her eyes shut tightly and held her head with a grimace.
I know I passed out outside!
Ever since she came to Las Noches, things were just getting harder and harder to accept. The actions she involuntarily did because of the particular stimuli around her… It forced her to instinctively react and do something she never thought she could do.
Things that someone else would do.
I wouldn't kill someone like that!
But she…
She killed Loly.
She healed Grimmjow's beyond-repair arm.
She straight up slaughtered the Arrancar at her feet nine times! She saw Loly in that Arrancar and couldn't help but feel more violent towards him the last few times…
And… her Kido was getting increasingly better throughout it all.
The dreams that were now coming back to her clearly, the people being replaced, and Aizen Sousuke.
She could feel it.
"I'm… changing…" She pushed her face into her hand and peeked through the gaps of her finger with one eye. Was it still her eye she was seeing through? She eyed Luppi's body in horror. He was proof that she was changing into someone she didn't want to be.
It was like swallowing a hard pill.
Deep inside, she had an idea of what was happening. It was a hunch. Perhaps her soul understood what was happening but her voice refused to let it out, representing either her denial or protection for herself.
Katsuko's eyes widened.
"Nngh…!"
Something within her was trying to drag her down and drown her. Her vision blurred a bit when she did her best to stay afloat. Her eyes remained fixated on him but her mind was focused on the power that was trying to drag her back down into the abyss, and she was trying to keep it at bay with her will. Her will was rapidly getting reinforced by layers created by her mind. But she could tell that they were weak so she needed to completely shut out anything unnecessary to focus her mind and body on suppressing her problem.
No! I'm not going back down there!
With a wince, she staggered back when a particular hard tug made her falter. It was like her soul was unstable.
Her body pulsed. "What's happening to me…?" Katsuko forced out, her voice was choked and heavy with apprehension.
Like as if she was starting to notice a papercut, her senses alarmed her about something. A presence that was becoming more noticeable when she allowed herself to be self-aware of her surroundings. Like a deer in headlights, she turned to find Grimmjow standing by the giant cased opening of the room. He was looking back at her with sharp eyes.
A familiar face.
But why was he here?
"Ah…"
It was almost comforting.
"Grimmjow…"
The blue haired Arrancar saw Luppi getting back up behind her. The smaller Arrancar was glaring darkly at the girl who let her guard down around him. He picked up his sword and slowly got back up, and he didn't seem to notice the other Arrancar watching him. Seeing this, he smiled dangerously with a hand on his sword. This looked like a perfect excuse to off him. When Luppi noticed him, he stilled. He could feel the bloodlust coming off him. But someone suddenly appeared in front of her, blocking her view of the blue haired Arrancar. It stopped everyone from moving. With difficulty, she stared up and saw Ulquiorra peering down at her.
No, I have to fight back…!
I'm not going back there!
When she made a move to grab her sword, her body seized and she let out a groan when she felt herself losing control and her hands automatically flew up to grab her head as if it would help steady her mind.
No good.
If I don't focus on keeping myself grounded… It's over!
Mind and body needed to focus on keeping herself together.
She rapidly weighed her options in her mind. But every single choice would end up in darkness. She would be lost. The moment she slipped up, there was no going back and it was only going to get worse. There was no way she was going to use her Hollow either since it might see the current predicament as an excuse to take over. She couldn't afford to be any less than too careful.
That's why Ulquiorra had no problem in securing her and bringing her back to Aizen. He just picked up her sword and took her by the arm before saying something to the other Arrancars present in the room and then using Sonido.
She couldn't fight back at all.
When she was back in that damn throne room, Aizen was still sitting in his pretty chair. In lieu of holding her head, she was gripping her elbows while her face shined with sweat. Her body was shaking so much as if she was shivering from an intense cold minus the chattering teeth. She could barely stand straight either. Her body kept swaying as she tried her best to stay on her feet even though she wanted nothing more but lie down and curl into a ball. Discreetly, she glanced around to see Gin, Grimmjow, Tousen, Luppi, and Ulquiorra watching her. The Arrancar with pale skin had her Zanpakuto in one hand while looking up at Aizen.
How she wished she could rip Arashihoro away from his damn hands. She didn't want him touching her.
"Welcome back, Katsuko."
Her body jolted and she dipped her head with a ragged breath. It was getting worse. It was almost like Aizen's voice alone was making it worse.
"I have to say, I'm quite surprised at how you're still able to resist and keep control."
Her eyes narrowed sharply at the man who pushed himself out of his seat to slowly walk down some stairs that she didn't notice were in the room until now. He was taking it slow, or maybe her brain was making her think it was slow with how her mind was almost in a daze. It was pissing her off.
"I know you're hiding something from me… I," She gasped and blinked slowly. It was almost hard to form sentences with her current mind. "What's happening to me…?! Is it the Hollow you made that's inside of me…?! Is that it? What did you do to me?"
She was desperate for the answer.
"I didn't do anything to you... directly, that is."
Katsuko weakly blinked, trying to concentrate.
"The Hollow is only part of the reason. Those Hollows are composed of numerous souls of Soul Reapers. Yours is no different, aside from the fact that it was created with a specific soul. It was a prototype, after all, I had to start somewhere."
His tone… he was talking like she was an experiment.
"Aizen… You're not making any damn sense…!"
He didn't entertain her with a response except for his usual smiling.
Aizen was standing directly in front of her now. She stiffened when she felt him reach for her face. Gently, he held her face and stared into her eyes. Their matching hues met, and he could see the questions in her eyes. She wanted to know the full truth. But he saw no need to proceed with details and waste his time. He saw no reason to explain if she was going to most likely find out why on her own.
"Your Hollow is only special because you are you."
He brought his face closer to hers just until his breath fanned her face. "You are a mirror that reflects. But you now carry an invisible thread that keeps this fragile mirror together. So, my dear Katsuko, when I look into the mirror, I don't want to see you."
He could almost see her brain cease to function for a second as it was unable to comprehend what he just said. But when it rebooted, she paled.
What did he mean by that…?! She didn't like what he was insinuating!
"What? No, wait—!"
"Sleep and shatter."
Katsuko's eyes widened when she felt him pressure her entire being with his spiritual pressure. With a gasp, the floor felt like it disappeared under her feet when she struggled to keep herself together under his pressure. She struggled as hard as she could. Her only way to defy his expectations. But she was flailing pathetically. Her nails dug into her skin as she took ragged breaths, her eyes struggled to stay open as they kept looking into Aizen's eyes that calmly watched her. His eyes were taking in the sight of her, observing her with interest. He destroyed all her restraints, tore down her walls, and snipped the thread keeping herself together, forcibly throwing her back into the abyss.
I… I can't…!
And then she was gone.
Aizen removed his hands from her face when her dark brown eye rolled back. Her body was sapped of all its strength and it fell backwards, landing with a thud. Her long black hair messily splayed across the floor and covered half of her face, hiding away the bandages.
Silence overtook the throne room. For a second there, Grimmjow thought she died because of her face retained that eye-rolled back with a mouth half-open look, until she slowly closed her mouth and eye. Just what was happening now? All Aizen did was basically force her into submission.
The current Sixth Espada eyed the girl on the floor. Oh, how he wished he could just Cero her head off right now. "I don't get it. Is she finally dead or something?" His anger from being humiliated was simmering deep in his core. It could still spike if he got angry enough. "What the hell is she?"
Aizen observed Katsuko and the way her body started obtaining what looked like sword cuts from out of nowhere. It was proof that she was enduring injuries in her Inner World. That was quick. She was still fighting back. He was glad. This unforeseen happening was something he wanted to personally watch over. After all, there was nothing interesting in seeing something obvious occur without knowing all the possibilities before the inevitable.
"The soul used to create the Hollow is, in a sense, the same as Katsuko's." He never predicted this could happen. That's why, when Chisaki left Katsuko's body and left behind the Hollow, he felt the first fluctuation of her soul, it was as if she was recompleted now that there was no interference.
And he could not be erred in identifying the presence just like she did not fear him at all.
"A fragment that retained singularity and sought out the rest of it in the next life."
"A fragment?" Luppi echoed, confused. He saw more cuts appear on the girl's body.
The blue haired Arrancar made sense of what Aizen was saying. He knew a bit of how Soul Reapers operated with the whole soul balancing shit since Aizen gave them a small crash course to explain a little the abilities of a Soul Reaper's Zanpakuto. But a fragment was enough to cause that damage? That's some crazy shit right there. But if Aizen's Hollows were created from numerous souls, then that little fragment that retained singularity was only nurtured to become stronger thanks to the additions.
And maybe, with Katsuko being a Soul Reaper… it did the same thing.
Grimmjow saw her finger twitch.
Katsuko's eye opened. They revealed a vibrant green colour, crystal green. It was staring directly at him like a doll staring and trying to dig deep into his core and read his mind.
"Ah, she's awake." Gin remarked with his usual smile. He watched her casually push herself up into a sitting position. With delay, her attention was caught by the one being closest to her: Aizen. She stared up blankly at him. Gin couldn't tell if she was thinking or simply frozen in place with a blank mind.
The two stared at each other without saying anything.
Until a single slash across her left cheek jolted her in her spot as if someone just woke her up for real. She blinked once like a child. But she didn't have a reaction to the injury, instead she grinned like a fool and poked her injured cheek with a glowing green finger. Her focus was more on Aizen than her cheek and cuts.
"Oh, Aizen… It has been a while since I last saw you." The injury was instantly healing from her Kido. She was healing it like someone who was doing parallel processing.
"You really think so?"
"I felt like I was having a long dream." A laugh escaped her while she pushed herself up on her feet. She patted down her body and proceeded to heal her cuts as well. She then complained about the bandages over eye and proceeded to tear them off in one swift tug, revealing her damaged eye socket to everyone. She paused when she noticed that her vision was incomplete and then her hand felt around it to verify if it was true. In contrast to her previous reactions regarding her eye, she just shrugged nonchalantly and slapped a hand over the damage.
Aizen lips curled. "I supposed you have been asleep for a while."
Spiritual pressure emitted from her as light appeared between the gaps of her face and hand.
For no particular reason, Katsuko glanced over to Grimmjow while she healed all the cuts on her body. She gave him a mysterious smile that carried playfulness, a trait of this new self. As soon as she removed her hand, her eye was revealed to be restored, appearing the same as before it was ruined.
Even though she was standing right in front of him, he couldn't see a trace of her in those green eyes.
Someone else was reflected.
That was when the equilibrium was getting lost and the struggle to exist began.
"Good morning to me then."
…
…
…
Katsuko panted and stumbled back away from the shadowy figure. It was stronger than the first time she fought it. It gave her several cuts and slashes, and her Kido was her only weapon to try to fight back against it. However, she was noticing that her injuries were fading, healing, seconds after she received them. It made her wonder if this damn black chamber had some automatic healing.
She clicked her tongue when she dodged its blade but still got slashed on the cheek. But the cut on her face faded away soon enough.
"Just relax… you got this." Katsuko whispered to herself. "You can do this."
The figure shot high up in the air and flipped so that it could lift the sword high in the air with the purpose of slamming it down. Katsuko let out a yelp with the waves of the floor shot up when it made contact. The waves were blocking it from her sight. With a quick step, she moved to the side in a slight panic and was narrowly able to miss the sword being run through her shoulder. When she landed and looked back, she watched it disappear in a flash.
A slice came on her side, forcing out a hiss from her lips. She stepped away and saw it speed past her and disappear again.
It was moving fast. She kept getting hurt.
You'll be fine.
That figure lunged at her with intense speed at which she was just barely able to parry with Kido. The figure swiveled around, creating numerous white ripple, and then pounced when her back was facing showing. Her feet moved and she slid to the side to grab its sword arm with her dominant hand. When she was about to use Kido with her left hand, it slammed its knee into her gut, knocking the air out of her lungs without fail. Gasping, the grip weakened and she almost fell to her knees. But the sword was coming down. She couldn't let it touch her again. Her brain screamed at her to defend herself because she wasn't allowed to fall.
She wasn't allowed to fail.
She was the singular pillar keeping the roof sturdy above her head.
So, she grabbed the blade with both her hands before yanking on it and then proceeded to grab the figure's arm firmly with a bloody hand. Breathing in shakily, she let out a shout when she forcefully threw him down with her. At least no one would have any sort of balance this way.
When they fell and landed with a resounding splash, she released the blade with her other hand and opted to hold down its wrist before straddling the figure. Her hand glowed red thanks to the hue of her blood before she slammed it into its face to crack their mask open again. It made her face highlight in that shade of red, accenting her features that showed trepidation.
You'll be fine!
My family was different from those typical noble families due to our gift.
The qualities of an heir, did it dwell in one's blood or their skill?
Well, first of all, character was also a considered factor. But bloodline did not take priority over skill. Such is why there were a few candidates for the seat of power. Currently, there were three obvious candidates. I, from the main branch, and two others from the side branch.
My family had two branches. One of them retained my family name while the other adopted the name of a holly osmanthus. The ones permitted to assert the seat of power were those who stayed loyal to the name.
Naogoma Mitsuhide. Good branch. White hair. Light purple gems for eyes.
Naogoma Satori. Good branch. Older brother of Mitsuhide. Ash brown hair. Crystal orange hues.
"My, my," Mitsuhide peeked over his shoulder to see those rats, Sakuto and Rouen, scurrying off deeper inside their home after I requested they leave me be with my relatives. "I see those little rats still insist on playing nice."
"I wonder how long they plan on staying that way." Satori huffed and ruffled the back of his light brown hair. "I can sometimes sense their hostility when they think no one is watching."
I chuckled and stretched my arms above my head. "Right? They are not fooling anyone."
"Well, you have my sympathies from the heart." Mitsuhide mocked, earning him a light shove from my hand.
"In any case, this little meeting was supposedly requested by the young Hiimigyo Hana." Satori decided to move onto the main topic. That came as a surprise to me. I thought that young lady was just there for show. I probably would have learned this if I paid attention to Sakuto's random spew of trivial information. I just knew that I was to head to the Hiimigyo estate along with my two relatives and a number of escorts.
"They are letting her gain authority now?" I hummed, interest a little piqued for once. Hana was the third child of the family after two older brothers. I saw only one reason as to why she was being given authority to request presences now.
"The elders believe her two older brothers won't make it through their illnesses." Mitsuhide said bluntly. "It would make sense for them to have no choice but to put their faith in her. And frankly, I am surprised they would agree. I thought for sure I would hear some conflict going on because a woman was going to take the seat of power."
"Another reason why they chose to depart from the clan." Satori was checking his nails boringly. "They cannot stand progressive thinking. They are the complete opposite from us."
"They cling to their bloodline so proudly that they end up in an ironic situation." I mused while taking the initiative to take the lead so that I could open the doors to the gathering room. My relatives took this as their cue to shut their mouths and keep a polite image.
As soon as I slid the doors open, I could feel the hostility in the air.
…
…
…
As expected, I found myself already bored of this façade.
The Hiimigyo Clan wanted us to rekindle our ties with them. They wanted to have an alliance on paper. If they did, they could penetrate the heart of our family and learn things they've been excluded from for years. Unfortunately, whatever benefits they saw could only be one-sided since we did not have a need for it. One of their ideas revolved around sharing and giving protection to each other for when it was needed. As soon as I heard that, I had to resist laughing out loud from their audacious offer. I had to excuse myself and get some air to get away from this ridiculous theatrical piece.
Under the pretty words and polite smiles, there was ill intent to put us down and become superior to us.
This family feud was absolutely tiring.
I stood underneath one of the cherry blossoms planted in the garden. I at least could appreciate this aesthetic from their house. They took good care of their plants, especially flowers, white lilies. With dull eyes, I tilted my head back and stared at the blossoms that created a roof over my head. It was beautiful. I found it almost pitiful that they only bloomed for a moment in the entire year.
A single petal flew off from the branches and danced gently in the air. My eyes followed it like a curious cat, wondering where it would fall. Would it be worth it to run over and catch it with my palm just for some satisfaction?
Before I could decide, someone beat me to it.
Small gentle looking hands caught it by creating a little bowl just below it to effectively catch it. I turned my attention to the person and the definition of contradiction for Hiimigyo. A petite woman with shoulder length sandy brown hair. She wore a white lily hair pin in her hair. It matched the white and pink robes she wore. Those teal eyes of hers met mine and she could only smile gently.
This was Hiimigyo Hana.
"Do you enjoy the white lilies?"
"… I guess." I looked at the said flowers. "They are well taken care of."
"I would hope so." Hana kept her hands in the same position and she walked to the flowers that matched the pin in her hair. "I do my best to care for them on my own. No one else would."
I didn't say anything to entertain her. When my silence lingered in the air, Hana tore her gaze away from the flowers to look at me. That's when I decided to ask why she was outside and not with the elders of her family discussing their paper alliance.
She lifted her hands and allowed the petal to fly away with the next gentle gale passing by. A little sheepish smile appeared on her face, unable to find a good answer to my question just yet. "I was the one who proposed becoming more amicable with your family. However, I am not well versed in the art of discussion regarding serious matters. It is a little difficult for me to keep up, so I decided to come out for some fresh air."
I quirked a brow at this. What was this? I put my hands in my pockets and gave her an unconvinced look. "And yet you were the one who insisted on having a meeting with us. I find that irresponsible, young lady." I almost let out a snarky remark with a sneer, but I opted to staying reasonably polite. "Hiimigyo-san, if this ends up being fruitless, then you might only have yourself to blame for wasting our time. We are very busy people, you know? Some of those faces are not quite on board with your idea."
I was biased, but I was not blind.
I saw some faces that were doing their job and talking about this proposal properly while some just hated the idea. But since I was biased, I believed that those who were eager to talk still had ill intentions.
I believed no one of them had good intentions.
"I know." Hana agreed with a curt nod. She understood this fully well. "But I had to do something. I had to let the opposite side know my intentions. I called for this meeting immediately after I was given authority in the house."
Oh?
Here it comes.
"And what did you want us to know exactly? Why don't you tell me? Tell me what it is you truly desire from us."
Go on. Show me some greediness. Show me any type of proof for me to look at you with disdain.
"I want to move forward into a future unshackled by the chains of history and traditional thinking. That way, white lilies can have the freedom to bloom under the sun without fearing the rain. But first, I need a roof to protect the lilies."
My eyes stared at the hairpin once more.
"Really?"
Hana looked at the white lilies with a small smile on her lips. "Many of us are suppressed because of old ways. I… dislike it. There are times where I wish we could dissolve and just merge back to the old family… At least, that way, many of us would be free. But… I have pride in my name. I cannot wish for something like that. So, I must find another way."
I think that might have been the first time I felt anything other than annoyance towards a Hiimigyo. The sincerity in her soft voice made me believe in her words that sounded more like a far fetched dream. That was what started my curiosity. I started… asking her questions. I wondered. I prodded her brain. I wanted to see what she was trying to see. And she would answer self-consciously since she understood that she couldn't achieve her goal with most of the people around her being against it.
Actions speak louder than words. Words and actions paint a clear image of the person.
But her love for white lilies spoke volumes for her.
Rebirth and purity.
This is someone who could change things, I thought. If given the chance to grow.
As someone who liked progressive thinking, I saw myself working closely with her in the distant future if I took the position. I was already beginning to be favored by the elders… so it could work out.
Under the warm sun, we stood together in the quiet garden. Hana and I had found each other and filled our boring time with each other's presence. Boredom turned into pointless exchange of words until we reached a bridge where our ideas seem to complement each other's.
I actually liked this girl, as strange as it seemed since I was always set on disliking that branch family.
From our conversation, understanding budded between us and a wish for the future began to take root in both of us. As if the weather approved of this encounter and our discovery, it swayed her hair gently and made our audience, nature, clap by rustling the leaves.
I smiled and spun around my heel to hop atop a stone. "That is a future I hope is possible. It does benefit everyone." Proudly, I stood and faced her. "I would like to avoid a needless headache while I am here."
Hana chuckled softly at my words.
She understood the dislike for her family.
"As cruel as it sounds, I hope my brothers stay bedridden a little longer… at least until I can realize my dream." She wanted to hang onto her dream for as long as possible and hope others would dream with her, support her. As if to convey my support, I jumped off the stone and snatched a single green leaf from a normal tree and landed before her, startling her in the process. My unsaid feelings were translated in the way I held my open palm with a single green leaf in it.
Hope and renewal.
With doe eyes, she stared at me and then at my hand. She reminded me of a little bunny. It was fitting. Small but capable of making big leaps if given the space. Her hand hesitantly lifted to hold mines, trapping the mutual message of our ideas between us, a secret to others until a possibly nearby future.
But our wish would never be realized.
Not with how an arrow went straight through her heart the second I moved away from her. The leaf that fell at our feet was bloodstained when she fell into the white lilies, tainting their purity in her lifeblood.
My eyes would burn that sight into my brain forever.
Katsuko felt herself blink and she was greeted with piercing blue eyes that were glaring right at her with irritation. Instantly, she recoiled but found herself unable to just yet with how a hand was firmly gripping the front of her clothes. Her hands came to bat away the big hand frantically. Seeing the brown return in her eyes, Grimmjow released her and she fell helplessly to the ground with shuddering breaths. Like last time, in flashes, she could see what happened during her 'absence'.
She acted familiar with Aizen.
Luppi was demoted and Grimmjow got his rank back. Right, she forgot that she made that scar over his number disappear.
And then she was… pestering and taunting Grimmjow for the hell of it because she was instructed to stay with him.
But Grimmjow was fed up with this other-Katsuko's nonsense.
Grimmjow watched her try and push herself back up on her feet, but she was struggling. This was definitely Hiragi Katsuko. He could feel her spiritual pressure return to its familiar state. But even though her presence was more dominant, he could sense that it wasn't constant. Her soul was fluctuating. The unsteady state of her soul, her unstable identity, could be translated in the way she carried herself now.
This was the weakest she had been ever since she got here.
He could almost smell some despair leaking out of her.
"You're becoming someone else."
"YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME THAT!" She snapped at him with her teeth bared. She was already so panicked about everything out of her control that she didn't need him to say the obvious and make her feel hopeless. Her hands reached for the table to support herself into a sitting position on the couch. Her brain almost didn't realize she was in Grimmjow's room again.
"Sorry… didn't mean to yell." She still apologized for it.
The memories felt like a river in a desolate place. It was the only thing that could guide her to safer place. The river was infinitely long and it continued until it was just a dot in the horizon. When she looked into it, she couldn't see herself, not a single trace of her reflection was there. The only thing she could see was white in the fast flowing river splashes that hid the true nature underneath. Even though she knew it would be her if the water was still, she couldn't shake the uncomfortable feeling that someone else was actually there, hiding and staring right back at her.
She lost all sense of purpose and walked after the river of memories like as if in a trance. But she knew that there would be a large body of water that would drown her the second she made it to the end and fell into it. And yet, she still followed against her will.
Her body was starting to pulse. It was starting again.
Katsuko opted to lie on her side as she gripped her head because it felt more comfortable that way. There was this discomfort that was borderline painful. It felt like she was getting ripped apart from the inside, very reminiscent to how she felt when she tried Hollofying on her own. And this struggle was different from when she tried resisting her inner Hollow. With her Hollow, she knew what was to be expected. But, this situation scarier with how she dreaded what could happen, the unknown was scaring her.
She groaned and pressed her nose into the cushion. One of her hands went up to her temple to simply press her digits against it as if she was getting a headache. It might as well feel like it though. There was no rest even after she came back to the surface, the sensation of that unknown power or entity, as if running after her without relenting, would try to drag her back down into the abyss. The idea of escaping also seemed impossible now. She needed her Hollow mask and sword to escape, both of them were necessary. But, her Hollow, the root of her current predicament, could not be relied on now. It didn't feel safe to do so.
"I refuse to be anyone else." Katsuko mumbled to herself. Whatever that was trying to take over her can go rot in hell! She wasn't going to fade away without a fight! "This is my body…" She seethed, shoving her face deeper into the cushion when a pounding started occurring in her head. "I am me! Nobody else!"
I need to keep resisting…!
Instead of looking pitiful, she stubbornly wanted to somehow prove she was standing strong to defy the source within her. Unfortunately, she could only sit up and grip the armrest next to her. Her head felt a bit heavier now, and her nails dug into the fabric and made lines as if to try and keep her awake. She should do that to her own skin instead. Her teeth gritted as she narrowed her eyes on the cold floor. The pounding in her head was getting stronger now.
She felt like a patient strapped to a chair for experimentation: dazed from drugs.
The Espada eyed her suspiciously when she took short breaths. "So, who are you now?"
Katsuko breathed and struggled to keep her eyes open. Her head barely lifted to look back at him. "It's still me, underneath it all… that won't change." She stared at Grimmjow's blue eyes and found little peace in them. Blue was always such a nice colour. But she turned away from it when her body seized, causing her to groan and lower her head again. Her other hand clenched into a fist and she bit her lip as a way to keep her conscious.
There was a pause.
"Want me to put you out of your misery?" Grimmjow nonchalantly suggested, raising a hand and flexing his fingers. There was nothing fun in seeing a being writhing in pain and to be an easy picking. Besides, he had a debt to repay her for his arm. Mercy looked like a great way to repay her since she looked like she was seriously going through it.
She shot him an annoyed look, teeth gritting. "Was that supposed to be a joke? 'Cause I'm not laughing."
"I'm offering you mercy, idiot. Why not die before you become someone else entirely?"
"I don't need it." She turned her head away from him. "Keep it."
"Whatever." Grimmjow scoffed at her attitude, dropping his hand back to his side. He lifted his hand and ruffled the back of his blue hair before plopping himself in a single-seated couch and planting his foot on the edge of a table. "Your loss."
If she was going to inevitably become someone else and didn't like it then wouldn't it be better to just off herself? Being someone else was the equivalent to being dead anyway.
She paid no mind to Grimmjow who was watching her like she was about to do something otherworldly. Seriously, it felt like she was the only source of entertainment in this damn fortress. Fortunately, she was too preoccupied with other pressing matters to feel self-conscious. Her mind was already starting to fill with the first memory she experienced… It felt very important to her. Now that it entered her mind, she couldn't stop thinking about it mostly because it was the one where she felt self-aware of where she was. It was the one where Ichigo turned into Aizen.
Is it because she and Aizen… became 'friends'?
Is it because she 'knew' things she normally wouldn't know? Like the uniform, the school name?
There was just something about it…
Katsuko stilled when she remembered something about Aizen. He told her something when she was brought to him the second time.
…
…
…
"I would like to be friends, Katsuko."
"I like to believe that I would treat my friends equally."
"I hope we become very good ones."
…
…
…
Right. He wanted to talk to her so that he could propose that they become friends. Why 'friends' specifically? And he said that he knew what talents she… had…
She stilled.
What.
"He knew who I was…" She uttered to herself, shocked. "That's why he…"
That's why he was aware of what kind of abilities she had. He knew exactly who she was before.
Because we were…
Katsuko winced and held her head when something rushed into her brain.
"We were…"
…
…
…
"Hello, Sousuke!"
I casually patted his back in a greeting, the first pat being a bit rough than the rest, causing him to look at me in surprise. He wasn't offended by the gesture. He was probably getting used to it now.
"Good morning, -…-..-.-." He smiled a bit while nodding his head as I finished my pats. His simple greeting made me grin before putting my hands in my pockets. We walked together in the corridor while ignoring those who stared at us as we passed them by. We didn't care much for how the others stared at us. I mean, they had good reason to… but we didn't really care.
There were also some bitter whispers. They weren't being discreet either. I scoffed and shrugged once. "Instead of talking behind our backs, why don't you put that energy into getting good grades."
Sousuke leaned a bit closer to me so he could speak in a hushed voice. "If you did not flaunt your pride so loudly, they would not have a reason to."
What?
I blinked in confusion and stopped in my tracks. What's wrong with showing off? All I was doing was telling the blatant truth!
I ran after my friend with a whine.
"I do not flaunt!"
"You do." Sousuke smirked. "Very much so."
"Okay. In my defense, I do it for both of us!"
"And I don't recall asking you to."
"Aw, you're no fun."
…
…
…
"We were friends…"
From the start, I...
Is that why I never hated him or feared him?
…
…
…
"Aizen Sousuke is a whole different animal. He's always been too good. And very few can actually reach his level. Sometimes people are just fortunate enough to admire him from below. His strength, his intellect, his abilities, his manipulation… it all traverses the line beyond just simple brilliance. Those who fail to understand this are just blighted by ignorance and pure overconfidence."
"Wanna write a poem about him? Because that just sounded like some wise shit just now."
"What?! I was just stating what I know."
"What Chisaki knows, you mean."
"… Uh, yeah."
…
…
…
That was the honest truth. She spoke only what she knew of Aizen. However, the thing is that she didn't know that much about him, only the bare minimum. Chisaki didn't have all that much information either. But for some reason she just knew all of that, she spoke of Aizen like she knew him very well.
I could never hate or fear him because my soul remembered him.
But how did he know?! She had a few questions that needed answering but it was very unlikely she would ever get them.
Her expression then pinched like she was in pain and then she heard the door to Grimmjow's room open. Her soul felt the familiar presence coming into the room. Her eyes locked sight on the pale Arrancar that had someone pushing in a tray of food. As if it was a reflex, she jolted and then shuffled to the other end of the touch to get closer to Grimmjow who was telling Ulquiorra to stop coming into his room unannounced, it was incredibly irritating. She would rather stick close to the guy who wanted nothing to do with her than deal with the dog that Aizen could whistle up to have do his bidding.
If she was a cat, she probably would have hissed at Ulquiorra.
Screw this guy!
She chose to get up from the couch to maybe move towards the window.
However, the time to dive arrived and she was falling head first into the darkness once more. The strength in her body disappeared, forcing her down to her knees, spiritually falling into the floor while she flailed around in the deepest, darkest abyss.
…
…
…
It was a repeated cycle.
She was losing count of how many times she would fight, see memories, suffer the tug of war, and plunge back into the darkness. Every time she came back to the surface and tried to stay as long as possible, she would snap out of it and keep her distance from Aizen after remembering acting amicable with him. And there were times where she actually failed and suffered fatal blows. Still, all the grave injuries would heal in a few seconds, allowing her to get back up and continue fighting.
Katsuko fell to her knees when a blast struck her in the face. With trembling hands, she held her face. But she didn't scream. It burned. It felt like acid melting it off. But it all healed in a few seconds. Her pained cries were just muffled behind her hands.
There was no reprieve.
It was grueling.
And the longer she fought this battle the more desperate and worn out she was feeling to survive. It was getting harder and harder to fight back. It felt like days were passing from how long it was dragging out. And the fear she had about becoming someone else back in the Soul Society, the fear she had forgotten, was dialed up to eleven. She wasn't stupid. She knew she was becoming someone who used to be alive. She knew it was someone who lived in the Soul Society.
But she would keep fighting.
Because that was the only way she knew how to stay.
"RRRAAAGH!"
Her voice reverbed.
It looked like a beam of moonlight shot through the field of darkness, ripples of white following its wake. A white arc flashed in the dark, and the figure reeled back without its sword arm which brushed past her cheek. Her blade made of light loped its arm right off.
But one thing was clear to her whenever she went through the cycle. The figure needed to be defeated for her to be free of this dark prison. The stronger it became through each cycle had driven her to push herself harder to survive.
Sparkling blue light flashed in the dark before the figure was thrown back into the fiery-like walls of their arena. Its head collided back into the wall and it fell to the floor limply. She wasn't done there. She flicked her white blade down and swiped her left hand across the blade before slashing in its direction. The attack was aimed for its face.
Her ability with Kido was getting alarmingly better. But it was also scaring her.
She felt like couldn't trust anything coming from her anymore. Not even herself.
Her body straightened up and it let out a sigh-like breath while her head tilted back enough to stare up at the pitch black ceiling. As if to enhance the fatigue written all over her, smoke-like steam came from her face from the earlier blast.
Suddenly, the figure flash stepped behind her and held up its sword high in the air. Her head moved enough to catch a glimpse of it. Her eyes narrowed with exasperated annoyance when she saw that its arm grew back. With a grunt, she bent her knees enough to push back against the floor and dodge by an inch. It was her turn to flash step away. She danced around it several times, confusing the figure by keeping the timing of her attack a mystery, forcing it to weave around its sword to keep her away.
Her eyes were watching attentively as the blade swirled around before she skidded to a stop and pointed her hand at it. Yellow light emitted from her hand just before something shot out. A rope of yellow light glided in the air and firmly wrapped itself around the black blade which had the wielder pause in what looked like confusion. She only had to drag her foot back to help her footing in preparation to instantly shoot forward while pulling on the rope.
The being's unbalance made it easy for her to bring it closer. Her other hand was already pointing two fingers directly at its face. Her digits gathered high-concentrated spiritual power that shot directly in its face, a point blank range when it came close enough. Their little arena lit up in light blue before dimming away slowly.
Everything else almost happened in slow motion.
The figure staggered backwards as cracks of white filled its face. As its knees sank to the floor, the mask fell apart so easily. This time, there was no flash of light. Everything underneath was revealed. Katsuko didn't exactly have a loud reaction to what was revealed underneath. She just paused and stared quietly in shock, wide eyes and everything.
She could have mistaken it for her Hollow. The faces were identical. But it looked just like the person she saw in her supposed reflection.
A tall young man with ash blond hair fell to his knees and fell on his front on the black floor, creating a white ripple beneath them. When she saw his body begin to sink in what started to look like black ink, her hand slowly rose and stretched out to it. She couldn't help but want to reach out to the man.
"I…"
…
…
…
They tried to kill me.
But I survived when something clicked in my brain.
It was instinctive.
The wounds on my body, including the one to my brain, healed quickly when I shot up to my feet under the white moon.
They left me to die from those attacks, thinking I would certainly die. However, they were unaware of how much I was determined to survive and give them retribution for ever thinking their tiny little existences could even best me. Me, of all people?
It was laughable.
"HAHAHAHA!"
I put a hand on my face as I exploded in laughter. It did not fit the sight of the room I was in. The room had blood splattered on the doors and floor while the bodies around me added more to the décor. And yet, even when the smell of iron was so strong and sickening, I laughed hard.
I lifted another hand to stare at it before setting it down on my knee as I doubled over with more laughs.
"…Y-You're… a monster."
"Haha…! Huh? Pfft, what?"
I looked down condescendingly at Hiimigyo Tamaru who was missing a large portion of his side. His blood bled into the tatami mats.
"Oh man, you have no right to say that." I slammed my foot on his neck, cutting off the air. "You, who tainted white lilies in red that day all for pathetic sick ambition." I felt his hand grab my ankle, making me press even harder. "How does it feel to watch it fall apart in an instant? Do you regret it? Do you resent us even more? Tell me, what does your tiny little existence have to say for all of this? Hey! I am talking to you! It's rude not to answer someone who's talking to you."
Tamaru weakly fidgeted under my foot.
"Oh, oops."
I lifted my foot off his neck.
Tamaru breathed in relief.
But I just slammed my foot back down on his throat.
"You killed your only niece because she was a woman. Simply seeing you breathe makes me violently ill."
…
…
…
"What I did was self-defense. The animosity that accursed family carries for mine is no secret. The one person who wanted to change things was murdered in cold blood by her own kin for trying to change and better her own family for the sake of the future. But that family pinned it on some poor Rukongai dweller to hide it from you. Naogoma Mitsuhide can testify, as well as Hiimigyo Sakuto… that is if he chooses to speak. There are numerous maids in that household that were present. Ask them if you must."
"It does not matter! Not only did you choose to eliminate valuable witnesses like a murderer, but you also used forbidden Kido! That is unacceptable!"
"From what I recall, Soul Reapers doing forbidden Kido is a crime. I am still a student, not a Soul Reaper. You cannot sentence me."
"The audacity to talk back…!"
"I am sorry, but I am just reciting the laws, sir." I closed my eyes, feigning remorse for speaking out. I had to be careful with my words.
…
…
…
I ignored the eyes staring at me at school. The news had already traveled fast during my absence so I shouldn't really be surprised. And yet, it unnerved me since I felt like it was giving everyone another excuse to give me those looks.
When I got closer to my classroom, I saw someone exiting the room. It was my classmate. Immediately, I felt myself brighten up a little, as if the whispers around me disappeared, and I hasten my steps to get his attention. The brown haired student turned and spotted me when he heard the enthusiastic steps coming his way.
He paused, surprised by my sudden appearance after three days of absence. "-...-..-.-!"
"Yo, Sousuke!" I greeted with a grin as he approached me with haste in his pace.
"The news spread like wildfire." He informed me as he adjusted his glasses, looking concerned. "Are you alright? I heard you were confined for a while."
"Oh, I'm fine~" I waved my hand dismissively. "Nothing I could not handle." I said with a light pep in my step when I began walking in another direction. That was the cue to step away from the classroom door so we could get a little more privacy. We walked down a more desolated corridor.
"So, what was it then?" He asked, curious to understand the truth of the situation. "I knew there was some bad blood between Naogoma and Hiimigyo… but I didn't think it would be this bad."
"It was always bad." I gave him a sour look when I recalled that night. "It was an assassination attempt, and my actions were ruled as self-defense."
He blinked his dark brown eyes, shocked. Then he appeared a little thoughtful. "They thought they could get away with it?"
I pouted at him and leaned against him, evoking a surprised sound from him while I lifted a dramatic hand to my chest. "Right? I felt so insulted!"
…
…
…
"Sousuke?"
"Shisugu… how would you like to help me with an experiment?"
…
…
…
Katsuko's eyes blinked a few times when the answer finally came to her and then they became somewhat melancholic as they became sunken. For a second she found it hard to breathe when it felt like her lungs stopped working or as if time just stopped for her. Dark brown eyes remained fixated on the man sinking into the floor.
He was falling deeper, deeper, deeper in the darkness.
She was falling deeper, deeper, deeper in the darkness.
She was…
"I… I am… Naogoma Shisugu."
When the name was uttered, the body fully sank into the floor and the blackness of the chamber receded away like clouds making way for the sun to come out as if to reward her for that answer. The watery reflecting floor of her Inner World was back beneath her feet, and the wind struck her face as it flew rapidly, making her squint and cover her face with her arms. Her Shihakusho flapped and her hair became a mess.
In the midst of the blowing wind, she finally took a deep breath and forced herself to look up at the skies. Her eyes were wide as they took in the sight. The normally blue vast sky was becoming gray.
Was this respite?
Things were no longer black and white.
She was in the gray.
Wordlessly, Katsuko lifted a hand and tried reaching for the sky just as the wind finally settled down.
She could almost see two leaves dancing in the sky above her.
…
Peeking her eyes open under the shade of the tree, her dark brown orbs stared at a singular leaf that dangled on the tip of one of the branches. It looked noticeably withered among the other leaves. Blankly staring at the leaf, she slowly lifted her arm and reached for it, a futile attempt, it was way too far. Like all other leaves, this one would fall off one day, albeit it would much quicker with its state. But the seasons would change and bring forth spring once more, giving birth to new leaves that would shine under the sunlight once again. A forever repeated cycle.
She dropped her hand and blinked slowly, the summer air lulling her.
That single yellowish tree leaf was at the tip of the branch, swaying, with another perfectly green leaf.
They somehow just stood out to her.
…
Katsuko hopped off with a light step and landed on the rail. With another hop, she landed on the sidewalk part of the bridge and then rested her arms against the rail. Below, she could see her reflection. Almost as if witnessing reflections for the first time, she put out her hand and wiggled her fingers a bit to see the reflection.
Just then, two leaves fell upon the water and created a gentle ripple.
A yellowish leaf and a perfectly green leaf.
Instead of floating on the surface, the green leaf just sank into the water.
That left the yellow withered looking leaf to float above.
…
No. This was despair.
SEPTEMBER 26 - EVENING
It happened so suddenly without warning. Katsuko was trailing after Grimmjow with a pep in her step and hands wringing together while she hummed a tune. They were passing by Harribel and her Fracciones. Katsuko smiled amicably at the three subordinates while they gave her suspicious stares.
Her tune suddenly ceased and she let out a choked sound. Grimmjow and Harribel stopped in their tracks when they felt the pressure within the girl fluctuate. The blue haired Arrancar turned and found her hugging her body.
Katsuko moaned as her body twitched and jerked several times.
The sound of bones cracking was hard to miss.
"What the fuck…?" Apacci stepped back, puzzled, when Katsuko's height grew by less than a whole foot. As she grew taller her figure also started to change to a more masculine shape, her shoulders became wider, and her long black hair receded until she had black spiky short hair that framed her face. She slapped a hand over her face when she let out a groan.
Grimmjow took a hand out of his pocket as precaution while Harribel urged her Fracciones to step behind her. Her body shook while her head jerked a few times as if some demon possession was taking place. Grimmjow caught the way she abruptly stretched her jaw with a loud crack just before she paused and let out a sigh akin to one of relief. The sound of her breath almost sounded distorted just like her soul.
He didn't quite grasp the situation until after he noticed that her face looked a little odd. With a powerful stride, he latched onto her right hand and yanked it away from her face.
Those vibrant green crystal eyes were staring back at him. They had the same kind of eyes but the face was completely different. A young man stared back at him with a curious eye like as if he was trying to understand what was standing in front of him.
He blinked before tipping his head.
Then his lips curled playfully.
"Hello, blue."
Katsuko took uneasy steps backwards while she lowered her hand to stare at the endless horizon. The sound of her steps echoed with water ripples until it faded into quietness. The absolute silence was almost deafening now that she was at a loss. She didn't know what to do now. She did her best to run through the labyrinth to try and find her way our as soon as possible to save herself from whatever was lurking around, waiting to pounce on her to drag her down. But the deeper she went into the labyrinth, the more she was realizing that there wasn't actually a way out like she was told.
All it led to was her becoming someone else on the outside.
There was nothing for her.
She was lost, rendered to nothing but just a soul.
She was just a soul for someone else.
The fear, the panic, the despair that she tried suppressing when she reinforced her worried anxious heart was beginning to overflow the longer she stared at the horizon.
No matter how hard I fight… I just can't do anything.
She lifted her hands and dropped her face in them.
She fought as hard as she could to try and stop the change, but it all turned out to be futile. All this fighting was mentally taxing. Never did she stand a chance at stopping it, she understood that now. It was something that was completely out of her hands.
Maybe she should just count herself lucky that she still existed in this moment.
"I don't know what to do…" she whispered, crestfallen.
A gentle breeze kissed her skin. A pair of cool hands enveloped her wrists. It reminded her of the first time they touched her to cover her eyes.
"Katsuko."
The girl just shook her head and allowed her knees to drop so she could sit on the floor. Her hands remained stuck to her face since it was her way to suppress her anxious tears. It was hard to stand any more.
"Katsuko."
This time, the hands were tenderly holding her shoulders. They weren't forcing her to look this time. In a way, she was given a choice. Choices weren't exactly a luxury for her now. This gesture really stuck with her.
She lowered her hands to hesitantly look at the owner of the familiar voice. She didn't feel confident in looking because she feared seeing something else. Her mind could be telling her it was familiar to her, but it could be familiar to her soul instead. It actually occurred more than once before this all happened, which was the dreams she had some time after she succeeded in taming her Hollow.
Her Zanpakuto Spirit was squatting down in front of her. Arashihoro.
It felt like days… or even weeks had gone by since she had seen a face that didn't make her feel like she was falling deeper into some type of madness.
"Why… why are you here… now?" She finally asked with a bit of bite to her tone. After enduring a lonesome fight for so long, she couldn't help but feel sour about seeing her Zanpakuto Spirit now.
"Believe me, I wanted to be there for you." Arashihoro quickly replied before she could say something else. She could already tell Katsuko's mental suffered a lot from the struggle. "But you weren't exactly in a place that permitted me to help you." She removed one hand to pat the watery floor. "It's like you were under this. I couldn't break through and reach you. I could only watch and try to call out to you, but my voice was drowned out."
"W…Well, you should have tried harder…!" Katsuko looked away and lifted a hand to grasp the side of her head. "Because you weren't there… I had to fight for so long with basically no hope…! I was fighting a pointless fight in the dark!" Her eyes began to sting when she stared at some random cloud reflected on the floor. One of her anxious tears slipped out. Her eyes narrowed slightly when she felt it slide down her cheek. This was pathetic.
But futility was already the conclusion for her.
Arashihoro placed a hand on her cheek to direct her eye back at her. "You're not alone anymore. I'm here now, and I won't let you fight by yourself."
She shook off her hand when she closed her eyes to shake her head in disagreement. "Perseverance can only take me so far." Katsuko uttered in defeat. She knew perseverance well since she had relied on it to make it through tough times, be it with her personal life or Soul Reaper business. But perseverance wasn't working in this situation at all. It showed no progress whatsoever.
"Katsuko, you need to keep fighting."
"I did fight!… But it didn't change anything!"
Arashihoro frowned deeply. This was getting difficult. At this rate, it was going to be easy to disappear altogether.
Sensing a shift in the sky, Arashihoro looked up at the skies. They were turning darker. Her mint green eyes narrowed at the sight. The Inner World was undergoing change as well. Definitely not a good sign.
"I fought hard... but it was all pointless. I am going to disappear..."
Arashihoro wouldn't allow her to fall deeper. She placed her cool hands on her knees so she could lean forward a bit.
"You're so selfish."
Katsuko paused. Her brain took a second to process what she just said. Why did she suddenly say that?
"You've always known that. That's why you fight."
Dark brown eyes slowly slid to look at her.
"You're always scared of losing something. You don't like it when things become incapable of controlling. You dislike being passive and helpless because you're desperate to protect that so-called illusion. That's why you try to get things moving in your favour, be it subtle or noticeable. You make efforts to preserve your life."
Katsuko harshly rubbed off the tear stain. It was one thing to be aware of herself, but she didn't exactly like it when someone exposed her because it made her sound like a terrible person. Her selfishness was also synonymous to her being afraid, the secret cowardice she tries her best to keep hidden by being selfish or by putting on a cool front.
"Whether it's to keep someone from crying, to avoid killing someone, or using people to keep yourself from destroying your world…" Katsuko gritted her teeth, gripping her bangs tightly. It was upsetting her to hear that. "You try to be a 'good' person. It's partly why those two Arrancars easily got to you. "
"Enough."
"Your moral compass matters a lot to you. You want to do the 'right' thing even though a part of you would rather not."
"Stop it."
"Your selfishness was designed to protect your world and your ideals."
Katsuko gritted her teeth.
So?!
Is that so bad?!
"It isn't. There's nothing wrong with that. It's partly the reason why I am the way I am." Arashihoro replied without missing a beat. Katsuko flinched when she realized she basically read her mind. She didn't have to think too hard to understand what she meant by that, so she waited for the continuation of her words. Arashihoro took that as a good sign.
"A Zanpakuto reflects the Soul Reaper's soul."
Suspicion crept into her heart. Its tendrils coiling around it and ready to hold it in a vice. Her other hand was instinctively brought closer to her chest, her heart, like as if to protect herself. Katsuko's eyes attentively watched Arashihoro, paying attention for any sign of a lie to her question.
"Which soul? Mine, or his?" It almost came out like a hiss.
She didn't know whether or not she could trust the Zanpakuto she carried. It almost felt like a stranger to her now. And depending on the answer, it might as well be.
But Arashihoro didn't even have a moment of hesitation when she answered. Katsuko couldn't see any hint of lying. She only smiled reassuringly and poked her in the chest softly.
"Why, Hiragi Katsuko, of course. I am the Zanpakuto of Hiragi Katsuko, Saikaza. That has never changed and it never will."
Been a while since I posted, huh? Ouf. Had no inspo to write *sigh* I kinda just forced myself to sit down and keep going until I found a proper flow for this chapter. Inspo kicked in halfway during my writing. Oh yeah. I actually planned on posting this chapter last wednesday BUT FREEZING RAIN THAT DAY DECIDED TO CUT OFF MY POWER FOR 5 HOURS (rip my frozen toes) AND IT FORCED ME TO BASICALLY GIVE UP (that one tree outside my house... I'm surprised it didn't fall with how shiny it looked all over from being covered in ice).
The one time I decide to use google docs instead of word to write my chapter... that happened ._. I ended up adding 4k+ words afterwards (leading to more delay) because why not? There might be some mistakes here and there... I'm tired x_x so let's leave that for later.
Moving on, to those who guessed that Katsuko was Shisugu... *claps*
Random facts:
1. Hiimigyo (柊三暁: Holly Osmanthus of the Third Daybreak) was originally what I chose before Naogoma.
2. The kanji for 'Hii' in Hiimigyo can also be Hiiragi. That was the first draft version of Katsuko's last name.
Also, savagemaster1999, you asked who makes the covers. I do 'em. Glad you like them. (I'm kinda sad it changed again since I liked this last one as the cover)
Anyway, thanks for reading and I hope you have a nice day/night.