It was another mild afternoon on Avocado Terrace with another unusual situation taking place in the Diaz's living room. On the couch sat Star next to Princess Spiderbite and her boyfriend, Slime. Floating between them was Ponyhead while seated on the floor with his back against the couch's base was Marco. The group was watching the television, but not everyone was thrilled with the choice of program.
"Can we watch…literally anything else?" asked Marco from the floor.
"Hey, Earth Turd," replied Pony, "Don't make me come down there."
"I mean," began the Spiderbite Princess, "I'm all for changing the channel."
"Why you got to be like that, Penelope?" Pony retorted.
"C'mon, Pony," said Star, "All these people do is shop at designer stores and go to brunch."
"It's really weird," added Slime, "Do all Earth families have television crews following them around?"
"Only the great ones," quipped Pony.
"Of all the things to survive the cleaving," said Marco, "Why did trashy cable reality shows make it? Almost makes the whole thing not worth it."
"You know I can kick you, right?" Star shot at Marco, to which he responded by turning his head to her and sticking his tongue out.
"Star, I thought you said Earth culture was fun and exciting," said Penelope.
"It is!" replied Star, "It's not my fault we can't leave the house."
"Maybe we should forget the TV?" asked Slime, "Play a board game? Do you guys have Monstropoly?"
"Guys, you need to hush," scolded Pony, "She's picking out a new handbag and I'm trying to hear her insightful commentary."
"She already has like a thousand at home!" Star yelled. "Why does she need another one?!"
"How many Mewni battleships you got lining your shelves, girl?!" Pony shouted back.
"Oh, you leave my precious battleships out of this!" Star shouted as she raised a finger at her friend.
"Marco," began Penelope, "How long have Slime and I been here?"
Marco checked the time on his compact. "About forty-five minutes."
"Oh, corn," said Slime, "Maybe we should just let Mina murder us."
"I know!" declared Marco as he stood up, "I'm going to go to the kitchen and get us some snacks." He hurriedly walked out of the room leaving the other four behind.
"Star," said a solemn Pony, "I am sorry to bring your battleships into our argument. I hope we can move past this like the strong, independent young women that we are."
"We can move past this," replied Star, "When you change the stupid channel!"
Marco walked into the kitchen to find his mom sitting at the counter flipping through a newspaper. She looked up from what she was doing to watch him go through several cabinets gathering various snack foods together.
"Marco," she started, "May I ask you something?"
"Yeah, Mom," he answered as he started pouring potato chips into a bowl. "What is it?"
"When did our house become a bed and breakfast for Mewnian princesses?" she asked with a note of sarcasm.
"Hey," he said without taking his eyes off his task. "I tried to warn you guys about the first one you let stay here."
"Very funny," she said, returning to her newspaper. "I'm just hoping this situation is a little less…permanent."
"Eclipsa said she has the knights arranging a permanent safe house for Princess Spiderbite and Slime," he said.
"Good," she replied before adding under her breath, "It's going to take everything to get those stains out of the couch."
"Hey, where did Dad go?"
"Oh," she said, breaking her train of thought. "I think he's hiding in the shed."
"Hiding?"
"Ponyhead," she began, "Kind of scares him."
"Ah," he nodded, "She kind of scares me too."
"Hey, how are those snacks coming?" asked Star as she entered the kitchen.
"Oh, they're here," said Marco, "Just some chips, crackers and some Cold Ones."
"Coolcoolcool," she muttered, "Can we just hang out here for a minute? It's a little rough out there."
"You can help me come up with what to make for dinner," said Angie, "Will Pony be joining us?"
"Probably," said Star, before turning to Marco, "By the way, did you invite her over?"
"No," replied Marco, "Why would I do that?"
"So…she just…showed up?" questioned Star.
"Does Mewni have any more princesses who would like to come over?" Angie sarcastically asked.
"Maybe we should invite some princes," Marco suggested jokingly, "Make it a real party."
"Nah," replied Star, "I'm not in the mood to see my cousin tonight."
"Still need a dinner idea," said Angie.
"Oh, why don't I make dinner Mrs. Diaz?" asked Star, "You and Mr. Diaz do all this stuff for me and you're letting Penelope and Slime stay here. I want to do something for you guys and…Marco, why are you looking at me like that?"
"Look?" replied Marco, who couldn't hide the terror from his face. "What look?"
"Remember the dimension with the cats with human faces?" asked Star, "That look."
"Thank you, Star." Angie said gratefully. "Maybe if you guys are all set with dinner, Rafael and I can go out tonight. If Marco doesn't mind watching Mariposa."
The back door of the kitchen opened and Rafael poked his head through to find the three of them in the middle of their conversation. "Is…is the Ponyhead still here?" he asked.
Back in the living room, Ponyhead had finally relented and allowed a change the program they were watching. But of course, she found the new program that Penelope had selected to be dull, giving her no other choice but to complain. "What even is this show?" she loudly asked.
"It's a nature documentary," replied Penelope, "We're going to learn something."
"It's a Earth show! We don't live there!" objected Pony, "It's about hyenas, we ain't got no hyenas on Mewni!"
"I think it's interesting," defended Slime, "Nature is amazing."
"Nature…" began Pony, "Is where all the dirt and the bugs are. No one likes nature!"
Star and Marco returned, both carrying various snacks and beverages that they laid out on the coffee table. "What are you guys watching now?" asked Star.
"A nature documentary," answered Penelope.
"About hyenas," added Slime as he continued to watch, "Oh, and lions, I guess."
Marco looked at the television and raised an eyebrow. "That's not a nature documentary," he stated, "It's a cartoon movie."
"Wait, really?" Penelope asked.
"You didn't realize when the hyenas started talking?" Marco queried.
"In all fairness, Earth turd," replied Pony, "I'm a floating unicorn head, so a talking hyena seems pretty plausible." Marco closed his eyes and shook his head, unable to deny the logic Pony had displayed.
"Anyway," segued Star, "Big news, Mr. and Mrs. Diaz are going out tonight so I will be making you all dinner."
"Oh, well," said Pony, "It's a good thing you have snacks 'cause we gonna be hungry later."
"You don't have to stay," replied Star, shrugging her shoulders.
"What?!" exclaimed Pony, "And let Mina Loveberry get me?"
"Mina isn't after you," said Penelope, "She's after me and Slime!"
"Okay, well," began Pony, "First, everyone is after me. Second, you know those Solarian goons are coming after us Ponyheads at some point! We were totally on the list 300 years ago."
"Fine!" Star exclaimed, "You can stay for dinner!"
"But you can't spend the night," added Marco as his parents entered the room behind him, "The Diaz house has a strict cap on royal guests at the moment."
"We're on our way out," said Angie as Rafael put his coat on and grab hers. "I just put Mari down for a nap, be sure to wake her before dinner."
"Sí," said Rafael placing her coat on his wife, "And please, make sure we still have a house to come home to."
"Don't worry, Mr. Diaz," said Star, "We've got it totally handled, right Marco?"
"I have my…magic makeup mirror," Angie said holding up a compact before placing it in her purse, "In case anything happens."
"Oh, Míjo," whispered Rafael, addressing Marco, "Call when the Ponyhead is gone, so we know it's safe to return."
Marco was now seated at the kitchen counter, watching as Star put on an apron and pulled her hair back into a ponytail. She took inventory of the materials laid out on the work surface before her.
"Okay," she said aloud, "Apron, cutting board, a selection of knives, a mixing bowl, a spatula." She held up a piping bag, "One of these thingies, I think I'm ready to cook."
"And I have the first aid kit, a fire extinguisher, my compact and a selection of take out menus," said Marco, "So, I think we're all set."
Star narrowed her eyes at him, "You know, sometimes you aren't very cute."
"Oh please," he replied, "I'm adorable and you know it."
"Ugh, you are," she relented.
"So, what do you want to make?"
"Mmm," she hummed, "How about cake?"
"For dinner?"
"Duh, everyone loves cake."
"What about lasagna?" he suggested, "It's like cake, but more appropriate for dinner."
"Sounds good to me," she smiled.
"I'll get the pasta from the pantry," he said as he headed in that direction, "Grab the lasagna pan out of the cupboard, it's the really big one."
"So," she said as she placed the pan on the counter, "How was the college visit today?"
Marco placed the box of dry pasta on the counter. "We need to boil these in water for ten minutes." She immediately got a pot out and filled it with water. "And the college was great, it's pretty nice, cool building, classrooms."
She placed the pot on the stove and turned it on. "Do you know what classes you want to take?"
"There's a few interesting ones," he said, "I'm thinking about taking the Intro to Psychology course."
"Is Dr. Marco Ph.D. coming back?"
"Grab the frying pan," he instructed, "We need to brown the meat before we put it together."
"Oh, I know why you want to take psychology," she giggled as she followed his direction, "It's because your girlfriend is a basket-case."
"Uhhh," he hesitated.
"Oh no," she panicked while dumping the ground meat into the pan, "You want to take psychology because your girlfriend is a basket-case!"
"Star…" he began, "You know that's not true…but you are having a hard time."
"Yeah…"
"Besides," he reassured, "You were crazy well before we started dating."
She snorted a laugh, "You aren't funny."
"Your pot of water is boiling over," he pointed out.
"Oh corn!" she exclaimed as she took the lid off of the overflowing pot.
"Put the pasta in," he guided, "I think eight sheets will do it."
She dropped the contents of the box into the pot and watched it bubble away. "Any other classes you're considering?"
"Maybe a math class."
"Blech," she replied, sticking her tongue out.
"Better get the cheese out of the fridge," he instructed, "Grab the mozzarella, the parmesan and the ricotta."
"Man, Earth has so many cheeses," she said while opening the fridge and starting to take containers out, "Why did we stop with meunster?"
Back in the living room, Penelope and Slime took advantage of the additional room on the couch to get more comfortable. Each with an arm around the other, finally enjoying the entertainment they had. Pony remained floating to the side, giving side eye to the happy young couple.
"Hey, hand me one of the sodas," asked Pony of the Spiderbite princess.
"Get it yourself," replied Penelope.
"Um, hello?" an indignant Pony retorted. "In case you didn't notice, I got no hands!" Penelope took a Cold One from the table and handed it to her. "Now I need you to open it." Penelope practically snapped the cap of the bottle off while muttering something about 'war' and 'stupid Cloud Kingdom.'
"Thank you," said Pony before she began chugging the beverage. Almost immediately, she began to gag and spat the contents of her mouth all over Penelope. "Ah man, it's Diet, that's so gross!"
"Ponyhead!" screamed Penelope as brown, carbonated liquid dripped from her face.
"Oh dang, I'm sorry, Penny," Pony meagerly apologized as Penelope stood up and headed towards the bathroom.
"I just going to clean myself up," she said gritting her teeth.
"Do you need any help?" asked Slime.
"No, hun, I'll be fine," said Penelope as she slammed the door behind her. Slime stared at the door for a moment and then stared at Pony who began, naturally to stare back at him.
"So, whatchya see in her, anyway?" she asked.
Penelope stepped into the downstairs bathroom and examined herself in the vanity mirror. She silently cursed Ponyhead as she watched the sticky soda drip from her bangs. She turned the tap of the sink on and while waiting for the water to warm, she grabbed a washcloth from the shelf. She felt a breeze come in through the open window, scrunching her forehead when she noticed it.
"Why is that open?" she wondered aloud as she shut it.
She turned back to the sink and wetted the washcloth. She looked at herself in the mirror against the backdrop of a shower curtain with an Aztec-inspired pattern to it. She closed her eyes and ran the moist cloth along her face, cleaning the sticky soda residue off.
When she opened her eyes, and looked again in the mirror, her heart stopped beating. Gone was the shower curtain and in its place a pair a burly hands that threatened to strangle her.
With a block of parmesan and a cheese grater in her hand, Star was putting the final touch on the lasagna. She moved the block up and down, providing a fine layer to the top of her creation.
"You're sure we shouldn't put a layer of corn in it?" she asked Marco who was watching her.
"I'm positive," he replied.
"But you love corn almost as much as I do!" she exclaimed as she put the remaining cheese back in the fridge.
"Lasagna's an Italian dish, they don't really do corn in Italy," he explained, "Put the lasagna in the oven and set the timer for 45 minutes." It was then they both heard the blood curdling scream come from the bathroom.
"Ahhhhhhhhhh!" it came followed by a loud cracking sound.
"Ugh, what did Pony do now?" asked Marco before Penelope burst through the door into the kitchen.
"Star! Marco! There's someone in the bathroom!" she screamed, becoming horse, "He tried to grab me!"
Star shoved the lasagna into the hot oven and followed Marco as they both jogged into the next room. Emerging from the bathroom was a large man, whose head almost reached the ceiling and was so wide, he went through the door sideways.
"You snivelin' brat!" he yelled as he rubbed a fresh welt on his forehead, "I'm gonna make you pay for that!" He reached to his belt and pulled out a sword, causing the three teens to dive into the living room. They ran right into to Ponyhead and Slime who were trying to see what the commotion was.
"Penelope! Slime! Run upstairs and make sure my sister is okay!" yelled Marco as he dodged a swing of the sword from the intruder. As the couple ran upstairs to safety, Star sprinted across the room towards the television.
"Pony! Watch out!" she exclaimed as the man tried to cut into her friend, only to be blocked by Pony's horn. The man pivoted towards Star and attempted a cut, which she gracefully jumped over, missing entirely.
Marco skidded to the fireplace mantle and grabbed an arm full of Mewni battleships in glass bottles that were proudly displayed there. One by one, he began throwing them at the stranger, watching them shatter and break apart against him. But it only presented a minor inconvenience to the man who swung his sword at Marco.
Marco fell to the floor behind the couch and attempted to regroup. "Marco!" he heard his girlfriend shout from across the room, "Under the couch! Grab it!" He reached under the couch and found duct-taped to the bottom a longsword.
"Why is this thing here?!" he shouted back as he peeled it from it's hiding place.
"Uh duh, for this very reason!" she shouted back as she grabbed a mace she had hidden behind the television.
"What?!" he exclaimed watching the weapon materialize. "Star! What if Mariposa found these things?!"
"Marco! She's almost one!" she retorted, "She's going to have to learn about sword fighting eventually!"
"Nah guys, don't worry, I got this!" said Pony sarcastically as she fought the stranger off with her horn. Marco lunged at the man with his newly acquired weapon only to be blocked. Star followed it up with her own attempt but was blocked as well, allowing Marco to strike his back side with his sword's broad edge.
The man teetered forward, surprised by the strike, which Star took advantage of. She swung her mace at the attacker's stomach, causing him to shift to one side, lose his balance and collapse onto the coffee table in a shower of potato chips and crackers. Under his weight, the table gave out, depositing him face down on the floor.
Marco quickly held his sword to the stranger's backside while Star disarmed him. Now, with no immediate danger, they both took a moment to catch their breath.
"Hey…we…can…still…fight," Star said, taking deep breaths between words.
"Yeah…I guess…we can," Marco replied with a smile. Their mutual admiration of each other was broken with the sound of tape being stretched out from its roll. They both turned to find Pony, with such a roll of duct tape tying the man's legs and arms together.
"Well, you two gonna help?" she sneered at them, "Or do I have to do everything here?"
Star and Marco paced back and forth against one another in the kitchen. Before them, tied to one of the dining room chairs, was the oversized body of the domestic invader they had taken down. Ponyhead floated behind the path the pair were trafficking, her eyelids lowered in the stranger's direction.
The lights of the room had been extinguished save a single lamp above their heads. The limited illumination cast long shadows in all directions and caused them to dance as the single bulb swayed slightly. Star had insisted on this ambiance, basing it on similar scenes from police procedurals she had watched on television.
"Okay," she said as she stopped pacing and faced Marco, "You be the good cop and I'll be the bad cop." She hammered her open palm with her opposing fist to emphasize the point.
"What?" replied Marco, "Why am I the good cop?"
"Becaaause," she responded, "I'm the ex-rebel princess who's still a rebel and now has nothing to looooose."
"And what does that make me?" asked an indignant Pony.
"You can be the crazy cop," smugly suggested Marco, "And clearly I should be the bad cop."
"What?" exclaimed Star, "Marco, I love you, but in what dimension does the safe kid get to be the bad cop?"
"In the Neverzone," rasped Marco to her, "For sixteen years."
"Honestly, I'm with Earth Turd on this," said Pony.
"Pony? Why?" Star retorted, feeling betrayal.
"It's just," began Pony, "Girl, I love you, but you're wearing a dress with a rainbow on it. Doesn't scream 'bad cop' to me."
"Excuse me?" the stranger finally spoke, "Is this some new form of torture I'm unfamiliar with?"
"Ohhh," said Star, "I hadn't considered using torture. Maybe we should give Tom a call…"
"No, Star," Marco interrupted, "Why don't we just ask him for what we want to know?"
At that moment, the baby monitor that sat on the kitchen counter behind them began blaring with the sound of a crying infant. "Don't worry," came the voice of Slime, "We got her all safe ands sound up here."
"Ya know," the stranger said, "If I knew about the little girl, I wouldn't have agreed to this."
"Look, Slime!" came Penelope through the monitor, "She's got my tiara, she's wearing it!"
"That's so adorable!" they heard Slime concur.
"My daughter," the stranger continued, "She's about the same age I suppose."
"You have a daughter?" asked Star as Marco grabbed the baby monitor and turned the volume down.
"I had, yeah," the stranger solemnly replied, "She and her mother were killed a month ago."
"Whoa," gasped Marco, "By who? Or what?"
"Septarians," came the reply.
"What are you talking about?" asked Star, "There's only one Septarian left in existence. His name is Rasticore, he's tried to kill Marco and me a bunch of times."
"That's what the Jaggs and the Spiderbites said when our village asked for help," the stranger explained. "But there are at least two dozen of them."
"And they attacked you?" asked Marco.
"Most of the other villagers died," he confirmed, "along with my family. They took the homes and land from themselves."
"Star," said Marco, "Wasn't…"
"Toffee," she confirmed, "Was a Septarian, I think."
"But if your beef is with the lizards," accused Pony, "Why go after Princess Tree Bark up there?"
"After I escaped," the stranger explained, "I decided to travel southward. I found a group of Mewmans camping in the Forest of Certain Death. They call themselves the 'Solarians.'"
"Mina," said Marco to which Star nodded.
"They offered me refuge," the stranger continued, "And told me of a plan to kidnap the Spiderbite girl and hold her for ransom."
"And you agreed to help them?" asked Marco.
"Yeah," the stranger gave, "I was angry with them, they could've helped but they decided not too."
"And you think listening to Mina Loveberry will help you?" asked Pony mockingly.
"Not to be…insensitive," added Star, "But Pony is right, I used to worship Mina, but she is genuinely, ready to be catapulted into the abyss, insane."
"The first time I met her," said Marco, "She was dumpster diving for old donuts. And then she tried to ride a stuffed wooly mammoth."
"Aww," reminisced Star, "I miss Davie."
"Ya think I don't know that?" retorted the stranger, "She literally threw a gob of mud in my face when I first met her."
"Mmm," muttered Marco.
"But when those in power don't wanna listen," the stranger continued, "What exactly ya supposed ta do?"
Star and Marco sat together on the couch back in the living room after hearing the intruder's story. Neither were in the mood to really do anything other than digest what they were told. Even more remarkable was Ponyhead, not floating but seated in the armchair across from them, who also wasn't saying anything.
"Septarians," whispered Star.
"Yeah, I know," replied Marco.
"Did we do the right thing?" asked Star.
"We promised Eclipsa," said Marco, "And your mom."
"Right," confirmed Star.
"You didn't," contradicted Pony.
"Really?" asked Star, surprised at her friend's comment.
"We promised," reiterated Marco, "The knights are on their way here to collect him, there's nothing we can do now."
"You can let him go," suggested Pony.
"We'll explain what he told us, they'll have to go easy on him when they know the circumstances…" rationalized Star.
"Girl, please," interrupted Pony, "The guy broke into a house, tried to kidnap the Spiderbite heir and then got into a fight with the former Butterfly heir and a knight. Dude's going away."
Marco placed a hand on his girlfriend's shoulder. "No, you're right, Star. We explain the situation and I'm sure Eclipsa will work it out."
"I should probably give him Seahorse's info. Maybe they can be roommates," Pony unhelpfully added.
The ding of a bell echoed from the kitchen. "Oh, the lasagna's done," said Star as she got up and started towards the kitchen.
"Need any help?" asked Marco as he started to get out of his seat as well.
"Nah, you relax," she told him, "Let me get this." She walked into the kitchen, grabbing an oven glove as she approached the stove. Opening the door, the heat and rich smell enveloped her as she reached in and pulled the dish out. Placing it on the stove's burners and admiring the bubbling melted cheese, she glanced behind her to see the intruder, still tied to the chair and waiting to be taken away.
She looked back in the direction of the living room to confirm she wasn't followed. Removing the oven glove and opening the drawer, she pulled a large knife out. She tiptoed towards the stranger's chair and with her finger in front of her lips, gestured him to remain silent.
"I'm going to get you out of here," she whispered as she began cutting at the duct tape holding him in place.
"Wait," he whispered back, "What are you doing?"
"Are you done with Mina's gang?" she asked, "Are you going to leave Penelope alone?"
"Yes," he responded, "I'm done with all of that."
"Then get out of here," she said as the bonds broke, freeing him. "I'll distract everyone out there, get out of Echo Creek and hide."
The stranger got up from the chair and began walking towards the door. After only a few steps, he turned and embraced Star. "Thank you, I won't forget this," he whispered in her ear before releasing her and quietly exiting to the back yard and disappearing into the night.
Loud knocking could be heard from the front door, followed by the creak of it opening. "Hey, Lady Whosits, Sir Stabby," said Marco in the other room, "He's tied up in the kitchen."
Star had to act fast to pull the wool over the eyes of the knights. Fortunately, she had over fifteen years of practice. "Oh, no!" she yelled in the their direction, "The bad guy! He got away!"
The two knights entered the kitchen with their weapons drawn to find Star standing next to the empty chair with the knife still in her hand. "Did you see where he escaped?" asked Sir Stabby with eyes darting left and right. Star pointed him in the direction of the back door, to which he ran through it and charged into the Diaz's back yard.
"Why do you have that knife?" asked Lady Whosits as Marco and Ponyhead came into the room behind her.
Star looked at her hand with which she held the knife. "Oh, this?" she panicked, "It's for…self defense! Yup! Young woman in this crazy world, can never be too careful!"
"Don't you live here?" followed up Whosits as Marco smacked himself in the face in frustration. "Do you always keep yourself armed in your own home?"
"Hey! You can never be too careful!" exclaimed Star as she began to sweat bullets.
Lady Whosits patted Star on the back. "Ha! I'm the exact same way, I always carry this baby around." she said as she patted the grip of the sword at her side. "Even keep it on me in the shower!"
Both Marco and Pony raised their eyebrows at the knight's statement while Star nervously laughed. "Oh yeah," she agreed, "In the shower, brushing your teeth, other bathroom related activities…"
Sir Stabby broke through the back door, tearing it off it's hinges. "He's escaped!" he yelled, "No trace of him anywhere and these humans have so many houses, who knows where he could be hiding!"
"Unfortunate," said Whosits, "We'd better go check on Princess Spiderbite and her boyfriend." The two knights left the kitchen, followed by Pony. Star remained where she was standing with he knife in her hand as Marco stood staring at her, arms folded with a gentle smirk.
Star noticed the smirk and gave him her own. "Like I've never lied to those guys before," she told him.
In the living room, the group of teens all gather around the two Mewnian knights. Penelope and Slime stand on the stairs, watching over the banister, Mariposa safely intwined in Penelope's arms, her wooden tiara still upon her head. Sir Stabby jots down notes on a pad while Lady Whosits listens to the other end on a compact pressed to her ear.
"I recommend that you keep all the exterior doors and windows locked," said Stabby to the group, "I would also recommend installing a moat and some arrow slits."
"Uh huh," replied Marco with lowered eyelids.
"Could we take a look at your armory before we go? Make sure everything is up to standard?" asked Stabby.
"You cannot," responded Marco, shaking his head.
Whosits snapped the compact shut and placed it back in her pocket. "We need to be heading back," she said to Stabby, "Before the human patrols start up and cause us problems."
"Oh please, they don't even carry swords," mocked Stabby, "Why would we need to worry about them?"
"'Cause they carry guns?" suggested Star.
"Guns?" asked Stabby, "What's a guns?"
Star looked at Stabby, deeply concerned for his and Whosits' safety. "You should probably look them up on the internet when you get back to the Monster Temple," she told him.
"And don't fret, Princess Spiderbite," said Whosits looking up at Penelope. "We won't let this creep get away with this."
"Thank you, both of you," she replied as they both made their way to the front door. Marco followed them, bidding them good night before closing the door behind them and locking it.
"Hey!" exclaimed Star, "Dinner is ready, lets eat!"
Around the dining table, with plates, utensils and drinks at the ready, the teens all sat. Penelope and Slime on one side with Marco and Mariposa, in her high chair at the other. Ponyhead floated at one head of the table across from where Star presented the dish and began cutting it up to serve. She placed slices of lasagna on Penelope's and Slime's plates and dumped a slice into the trough for Pony.
"Okay everyone," said Star with a nervous smile, "Dig in."
Marco was busy shoveling baby food into his sister's mouth, but side eyed as Penelope took a bite of Star's dish. "Oh wow," she said, "This is tasty."
"Wait, really?" Pony blurted out, earning the stink eye from across the table. She took a bite from her trough. "Hey, this is good!"
Slime took a bite of his and hummed. "What is this called?" he asked while still chewing.
"It's lasagna," replied Star, "It's Italian."
"What's Italian?" asked Penelope.
"Uhhh," stalled Star as she thought, "It's the one that looks like a boot." She turned to Marco who was giving Mariposa her last morsel and he nodded his head at her. She quickly cut another piece out of the pan and served it to him. He took a bite, smiled and nodded to her again.
"You're really good in the kitchen, Star," said Penelope as she continued to enjoy the food.
"You weren't here for the brownies," interjected Pony.
"What's a brownie?" asked Slime.
"Not what Star made," sneered Pony. Marco picked up the can of soda and attempted to throw it at Pony only for Star to take it from his hand and shake her head at him.
"Pony," said Star calmly, "I made those brownies with literal magic, that's why they were terrible."
"Aaaand how did you make this then?" she asked.
"I just did what Marco told me," replied Star, "Which is better than using magic."
"How do you figure?" asked Penelope.
"You're literally saying Marco is better than magic," interrupted Pony.
"Well, he is!" snapped Star, causing silence to reign across the room.
"Hey, Star?" Marco said cautiously.
"What?!" she once again snapped before correcting, "Sorry, sorry, I'm not mad at you."
"Did you put chopped onions in the meat?" he asked, holding a loaded fork up to her.
"Yeah, seemed like it would add something," she confirmed.
"It does," he agreed, "Really nice little kick with how sweet the tomato sauce is."
"Thank you, Marco," she smiled, "I got the idea from the burrito filling at Britta's."
"That's right!" he declared, "Who knew it would work in a lasagna."
"I think I'm going to be sick," said Pony, "Y'all are like an old married couple now."
The lock to the front door clicked open with a deafening crack, causing everyone to flinch. The door opened and Angie walked into the house followed by Rafael. "Hello, everyone," said Angie, "How was your…what happened to the coffee table?" She stood above the destroyed piece of furniture dumbstruck.
"Oh," said Marco, "We had a little issue with a…home invasion."
"A home invasion?" a puzzled Rafael asked, "Someone broke into our house to destroy our vintage coffee table?"
"Vintage?" asked Marco equally puzzled.
"Rafael," said Angie, "I'm guessing this has something to do with the extra princess we have staying with us. Not the coffee table you bought in college."
"Well," said Rafael seeing his daughter with the wooden tiara still on her head, "Maybe that is not a problem now since there's a new princess."
"Aww," said Angie as she picked Mariposa up from her high chair, "You are just precious."
"You should have seen it," said Penelope, "If it wasn't for Marco and Star, who knows what would have happened to me."
"It's also a good thing Star hid all those weapons around the house," added Slime.
"Is that why I found that archery set in washing machine?" Rafael said as he placed his arms around his wife and looked at the group around the table. "Well, we are glad you are all safe."
"Not as glad as we are," said Pony before continuing to eat her dinner.
"Please go home," Rafael told her coldly.
With the sun fully set, the Diaz house had fallen quiet. In the living room, the two teenaged couples sat together, wearing their pajamas and making liberal use of pillows and blankets for optimal comfort. Two sleeping bags laid out on the floor before them. The flicker of the television they were watching provided the only light.
"Ponyhead has gone home," said Marco, "Why are we still watching this marathon?"
"I wanted to see which handbag she bought," replied Star, "I think Pony is right, this is compelling."
"Look at all the fun they're having," added Penelope, "Sort of makes me wish I had sisters."
"You think when she's older, Mariposa and I will hang out like that?" Marco asked Star.
"Definitely," she confidently responded, "But you won't be buying handbags, rather…nachos ingredients and ballet shoes."
"She's going to be a dancer?" asked Penelope.
"Nah," replied Star, "Just very comfortable around the house."
"Hey," interjected Slime, "I have an Earth question."
"Ask away," said Star, "I'm an expert on all things Earth."
"Really," said Marco flatly, "You're the Earth expert in this room?"
"Yup!" she confirmed with a smile.
"So, does Earth have kingdoms like Mewni does?" asked Slime.
"No," Star answered.
"Yeah," Marco corrected.
"What?!" Star snapped, "There were no kingdoms on Earth when I was there! It was all voting and freedom!"
"Yeah, where we lived," explained Marco, "But some countries do have a king or queen."
"What countries?" asked Star.
"Denmark, Norway, Spain, Sweden, Japan, Belgium," listed Marco.
"I think you made that last one up," accused Star.
"So, who is the ruler of Echo Creek then?" inquired Slime further.
"Ya know," Marco pondered, "I'm not even sure. There is a city council, I suppose they're the ones in charge."
Penelope gave a yawn, "I don't know about the rest of you but it's been a long day. Should we get some sleep?"
"Yeah, I'm getting tired too," agreed Slime as he got up from his seat.
"You guys going to be okay down here?" Marco asked Star.
"Of course we are," Star told him, "It's just like a sleepover. Now you and Slime get upstairs so Penelope and I can talk about you behind your backs." She gave her boyfriend a sly smile.
Marco leaned over and gave Star a quick kiss, "Good night, I love you," he said.
"Love you too," she replied as behind them, Penelope and Slime conducted their own good nights. Star watched as Marco walked up the stairs followed by Slime who was carrying a pillow under his arm.
"Hey Marco!" called Penelope before he disappeared up the stairs. "You locked all the doors and windows, right?"
"I did," he confirmed, "You're going to be completely fine. You'll have Star with you all night and she can kick more butt than any of Mina's minions."
Star blushed at the compliment and Penelope relaxed at the reassurance. The boys continued up the stairs until they were out of view. "You're mom was right, Star," said Penelope as she got into her sleeping bag, "This really was the safest place I could be."
"Yeah," Star replied, "I'm glad you weren't stolen from us."
"I'd be more glad if the scoundrel didn't get away," Penelope added harshly, "Hopefully the knights will capture him and lock him away in a dungeon forever."
Star grimaced at the change in tone. "I'm sure he's learned his lesson…"
"He'll pay for what he tried to do," interrupted Penelope, "My parents and Eclipsa will make sure of it."
Star got into her sleeping bag, pulling the top of it over her head and laid on her side. "Good night, Penelope," she said as she closed her eyes and tried to forget what had happened.