Hello there, so before anything because this will be a long note, here are the cliff notes:

These are prompts/drabbles
Please take one, make it you own and write and write
All are Shenny
Leave me a message with your story if you were inspired so I can read it. Please.
I love you.

Now, onto the bigger and more wordy note.

I loved the Big Bang Theory. I adored the first 2 seasons, this was the show that introduced me to Fan Fiction as a whole and I couldn't get enough of it. I was there in Livejournal, FFnet, Tumblr, etc reading and consuming as much as I could. I couldn't believe how much I loved the pairing of Sheldon and Penny and was really happy to see other like minded people, it was such a fantastic time for Fan Fiction. And then Season 3 happened and I was appalled and as the season continued I was honestly infuriated with it, I stopped following the show, I would still catch an episode here and there but this lessened as well, each episode I would watch would only make me sadder and angrier and by Season 5 I completely left the show, I was angry that Penny only existed so Leonard could put his dick in her, I was angry that Sheldon became a cartoon of himself and I was particularly angry that Leonard was framed and painted as our hero to root for when he in fact represented all the negative parts of Geekdom. Adorkable misogyny indeed.

I think I was not the only one that felt this way, I unfortunately saw many fantastic authors disappear from the fandom entirely and the number of works trickle down and this was what hurt the most, I was lucky to be able to interact with so many amazing people because these stories, the fan fiction became a haven, Penny could be successful, free and loved in the way she deserved. Sheldon could be more than a punching bag for the writers and Leonard could actually be a decent human being.

So, what is this? Why more than 10 years after the show first aired? Well, this is going to sound silly but it was actually thanks to a short clip from Young Sheldon that my passion/love for Sheldon and Penny was reignited.

I don't think I'm the only one that thought Young Sheldon would be bad, a cash grab from greedy showrunners. And I'm glad that I was wrong. Now, don't get me wrong, it's not a perfect show, but it's a fun show. And for some reason I couldn't stop thinking about Sheldon and Penny so I went back and reread all of my favorite stories, but it wasn't enough, so I came here and to AO3 in search of more and I'm so glad that I did because I've been reading like a possessed man and even lost one full day of sleep reading stories, made me feel like I was 15 again.

But, it somehow still wasn't enough, I needed more. I don't think myself a particularly good writer, I think I can write a pretty decent DnD campaign but I have never truly tried Fan Fiction so this is me yelling into the void of possible writers/authors out there, those that abandoned the fandom, those that are here for the first time. I am able to come up with a story/prompt but I know my own limitations and so I want to see what you come up with, please grab one of my orphan children and raise them, change POV, first person, third person, make it longer, make it shorter, make it a one-shot, make it a multi part story, grab the concept and make it your own, all I ask is two things, make it a Shenny Fic and that you let me know so I can read it.

Forever grateful

Hanabi

Penny knows that this is not a stomach bug, she's been having morning sickness and waiting for it to go away, except, it doesn't and she knows she's in trouble.

She doesn't know what to do so she tells Leonard and a feeling in her gut tells her is a bad idea when he suggests that they go to Vegas and get married, she doesn't want this child but he looks at her with those puppy eyes and just so much expectation that she mutters 'okay' and that feeling in her gut is now full on screaming and she ignores it completely.

The guys are happy when they hear the plans, everyone is in and Bernadette and Amy are already telling her how lucky she is and that they're so happy for her and it isn't until Amy turns to Sheldon for confirmation that she notices he hasn't said anything, he is in his spot and looking down at his hands. Penny was dreading his reaction the most, she knows that he will belittle their relationship or otherwise be rude because this will affect his routine and she wonders how often people get what they expect because Sheldon doesn't say anything directly to her, still looking at his hands he addresses the room ¨I suppose congratulations are in order¨ a pause and she wishes that he would look at her, yell at her or just be her regular obnoxious wackadoodle but he just stands up to go to his room and with his back to everyone he says the last words Penny will hear directly from him ¨Please don't interrupt my REM cycle, I will see you all when you're back¨ his back looks wrong, like a tree about to topple and she extends an arm to grab him because she can feel it in her gut, she needs to grab him now, except Howard and Leonard are already moving everyone out of the apartment and she tries to go back to Sheldon ¨Sweetie, Ple-¨ she's cut off by Leonard telling her that he'll be fine, he just needs time. The feeling in her gut is wailing at her to go back but then she's in the car and her friends are around her and she lies to herself 'it'll be okay.'

They're gone for 3 days and when they return it's to an empty apartment, Sheldon's things are missing and it's enough to freak everyone out, their calls go directly to voicemail, emails are bouncing and Raj is the first to think to call the university. Sheldon took a sabbatical and they don't know where he is.

They search for a week straight before Penny thinks of calling Missy, they've kept in touch and Penny is beating herself for not thinking of this sooner, she's expecting Missy to not know that he was missing at all or that she will join their search efforts, she's not expecting the short and clipped ¨Shelly's fine, he's gone back to Germany¨ her mouth forms an O and she's about to ask Missy if he was truly okay and if he needed anything but Missy hanged up and trying to call her back only gives her a busy tone, she cries herself to sleep and Leonard doesn't understand why she doesn't want sex which makes her feel worse.

She shares the news with everyone and it seems to quell their curiosity, even Amy seems satisfied by it and they all respond to her requests of trying to find more information with the same answer ¨He'll be fine, he just needs to get it out of his system and he'll be back here in no time.¨

The feeling in her gut is boiling, it's as if an infinite number of snakes were moving at once all and each and everyone of them was angry at her. Sheldon never comes back.

It's been two years since Sheldon left and Penny and Leonard have moved away from Pasadena. Leonard was offered a position in Princeton and he happily took it, she wishes that he had discussed it with her beforehand but she doesn't want to rock the boat, things are going great between them and she thinks that maybe a change of scenery will be good for them.

The feeling in her gut goes quiet, not in a peaceful way but in a suffocating and stifling way, something was about to happen and she could only wait.

She has made friends with other moms in the neighborhood but in that detached and almost coworker kind of way, she is not invited for tea and she doesn't invite people over and since Leonard asked her to not return to work she doesn't know what to do with her time, so her weekly calls with Raj are a breath of fresh air and he's the one that tells her about Sheldon first ¨Oh Penny, he's publishing again! And it's…beautiful, I don't have any other word for it.¨ Suddenly serious he continues ¨Penny, his name will be right there with Einstein, he is *that* brilliant¨ and her eyes prickle and her throat constricts because she knew her wackadoodle could not be stopped.

8 months later she's cleaning the house when Leonard comes home and slams the door closed, the face he is making is exactly the same that Beverly makes whenever she visits, she can hear him slamming the door to his study and she knows, she knows that she should go and ask what's wrong but she remembers all those nights he comes home smelling of cheap hotel soap and too much cologne that still isn't enough to cover the smell of a woman's perfume and Penny decides instead to get ready for her video call with Raj.

Raj is immediately bursting with joy, Sheldon made it, he got the Nobel Prize, Penny is holding her sleeping son in her arms but she dances in her place as best as she can without waking him. She's so proud, she knew he was going to get it, it was a matter of when not if. Quickly, guiltily she thinks about Leonard and his reaction earlier, so that's why.

Penny is happy and asks Raj if there's a video of Sheldon accepting the award or giving a speech and Raj is happy to comply, he's still gushing about how Sheldon has changed the world of Physics when she notices the way he stiffens and trails off, he tries to claim that sadly there's no videos but she channels some of her lost fire and says warningly ¨Raj, show me¨

So he does, it's a youtube link from the official Nobel Prize channel, she is not sure what she expects to see but it's definitely not this. The feeling in her gut remains oddly quiet, no, it's holding its breath, waiting.

Sheldon was always thin but the man on the video is only bones, his eyes have huge and dark bags, he is sitting so still that for a moment she thinks he's a statue.

Penny had imagined how this moment would be, she was a dreamer and she knew that Sheldon was as brilliant as he claimed to be so she thought about what dress to wear to see him receive his award, how he would be surrounded by friends and family and how proud he would look, how he would reverently hold the medal and give a long speech, she knew for a fact that the last time he told her that speech was already 8 pages long.

Instead, what happens is that Sheldon is alone, no one is sitting around him, a huge table and only him in the middle of it, the person presenting the award is talking about how the world will change thanks to him and Sheldon simply looks indifferent, she watches as he is given the award and is asked to say a few words. She doesn't realize that she is holding her breath until it's physically painful and she has to pause the video because she can see what's left of the video duration and the feeling in her gut is now boiling in anguish telling her to run, to get up and run, to move right now. But her son is heavy and rooting her in place so she instead presses play again.

Penny can see that Sheldon is holding the award in one hand, he is looking at it and at the same time not, he looks up at the camera and Penny can feel her heart break, Sheldon looks lost. And in the voice of a stranger he simply says ¨Thank you¨ and leaves the podium to go sit down again and the video ends. The feeling in her gut is now boiling oil and she cries herself to sleep for a week straight and one morning she wakes up and has to run to the bathroom because she's puking her guts out.

That same morning she thinks that it might have been actually true because the feeling in her gut is gone, no roiling, no burning, no push to make her run and she thought it would make her feel relieved that there was nothing there now, except, that's not true, she can feel the loss of it, whatever it was, like a tooth falling out, it's the absence of something important.

8 months later and heavily pregnant Penny decides that enough is enough, she needs Sheldon back in her life and is building herself a head full of steam because how dare he leave her alone and she threatening the Sheldon in her head when he phone rings, it's Raj and suddenly she doesn't want to pick up the phone but she still does.

She doesn't understand at first what Raj is saying, because it's ridiculous and impossible but Raj is crying and she is wondering why Raj is taking this prank so far, doesn't he know she's pregnant? And then it hits her like a hammer, Sheldon is gone, they find him slumped over his desk, nothing that could be done. She's waiting for the feeling in her gut to react, she wants the pain that it brings, except, there's still nothing there, her gut is silent and Penny wishes for something to feel, and that's funny she was standing up just a moment ago and now she's looking at the ceiling, she tries to say something to Raj but all that comes out of her throat is sob after sob and she curls in the floor of a house that is not a home.

Howard, Raj and Bernadette travel to see her, Amy is in Saudi Arabia and can't come to see her. She's about to give birth any moment now but all that matters to her is to find more information, to know where Sheldon will be put to rest, to go to his funeral, to see him one last time. No one has received information. She tries calling Missy but all she gets is a busy tone, all others except Leonard are calling their contacts to try and find more information but nobody knows anything and it isn't until Raj is threatening Dr Gablehouser that she thinks about a phone number she called once before, Mrs Cooper picks up on the third ring.

The last thing Penny wants to do right is talk but she forces herself, she talks about how they're all sorry to hear about Sheldon and her voice cracks but she's proud of herself for not breaking down and she is direct, asking where the funeral will be so they can attend. There is a long pause on the other side of the line before Mrs Cooper, not unkindly replies ¨Oh darling, I'm sorry, it will be only for friends and family, now you have a good rest of your day.¨ and the line cuts off.

Penny is not sure she can ever breathe again, Mrs Cooper words hang heavily in her soul and she breaks down in front of her friends. Her gut is fully silent now and she's learned to live with it but it doesn't make it any less painful, especially when her water breaks alongside her and there's no more time for her to grieve, her second son is on the way.

Life continues, an undergrad student comes knocking on her door a year after her second son was born, young and full of guilt the undergrad whose name is Martha confesses that she's pregnant and it's Leonard's. Somehow it doesn't feel bad, instead Penny thinks ¨Ah, there it is.¨ and of course Leonard is full of scrunched up faces and sad eyes and Penny doesn't know how she ever found it cute, she asks him to leave and true Leonard comes out to play ¨And then what?! You are not working, do you really want to give up on us so easily? Over a silly mistake?! You're not being fair!¨ He whines and cries and somehow he's in her bed again grunting away, Penny meanwhile thinks about how ugly their ceiling is.

Penny loves her sons, she really does, they are a spitting image of their father, rim glasses and lactose aversion included. But some nights, most nights, she dreams of blue eyed children that smile like the sun. And her heart breaks all over again each morning.