Dr. Mundo looked at the door thoughtfully, wondering why no one had entered yet. It had been a few days since he had "treated" Tryndamere, and for some reason, no one bothered to make an appearance after that day. In fact, they seemed to quickly walk off whenever he went near them.
He leaned back in his new chair, his tongue hanging out off his mouth as he thought to himself. Why has no one been coming to see Mundo?
Don't we all wonder?
Anyway, Dr. Mundo continued to sit in his chair, keeping silent as he got lost in his thoughts, milky white eyes locked on the ceiling as he pondered what he should do next. He couldn't call for Jinx at the moment, as the blue haired girl was currently preoccupied with running from the law agai- busy in a League match.
After a few more moments of silence, he perked up, an idea forming in his big, purple head. Maybe Mundo should make house call again.
Once the thought sank in further, he made up his mind. Getting up from his chair, he grabbed his medical bag (a nanny purse), some antidepressants (his cleaver, syringes, and a heck ton of things you wouldn't see a normal doctor carrying around in a room, or anywhere, for that matter), and lastly, a stethoscope (an actual one, yes).
Grinning at his "equipment", Dr. Mundo took his nanny–medical bag and walked out of the room, looking for the next patient- person who needed emotional help.
[[[[[]]]]]
Swain hummed as he flipped through the newspaper he held in his hands. He was currently in his own private dorm within the Institute, sitting at his desk with a steaming cup of cocoa to enjoy. Behind him was a little stand, where some crows were perched as they stared at the newspaper's contents, as if wanting to read it with the general. Some of them cawed a few times, earning a somewhat affectionate pat on their heads or beaks. The headlines for the day were: GOAT HEALER MAGE ON ANOTHER RAMPAGE TODAY. ICE KING RECOVERING FROM ALL-TIME HIGH. AND NOT THE GOOD KIND OF HIGH.
He arched a brow at the news, reading the articles that detailed the causes for the incidents and the incidents themselves. In the previous issue of the newspaper (named the League Times), the headlines had been about the opening of Dr. Mundo's new therapy service, but Swain and the other Noxians were thoroughly certain that no one in their right mind would actually use it, especially since the Mad Doctor of Zaun had taken in the Loose Cannon as his service's secretary.
Now, Swain was struggling to come up with a plausible reason as to why the Starchild and the Barbarian King would go against that belief. What convoluted, completely out-of-the-world reason did they have for going to the one of the people who were least qualified for the job of being a source of emotional and mental comfort?
His theory-brewing was interrupted by a familiar titter, and he looked up to find LeBlanc striding closer to him as if she owned the entire Institute and the floors that came with it. His mood turned sour quickly, especially since the woman before him had interrupted his theory-brewing. He loved theory-brewing. Even more than he loved expansion.
"Emilia LeBlanc," he greeted drily, setting the newspaper down. "No wonder the crows stopped cawing."
"Come now, Jericho." The Matron of the Black Rose smiled playfully as she sat on the chair across the Grand General, stretching a little in a way that reminded Swain of cats. Cats when they'd just finished feasting on rabid mice. Swain suppressed a thought of LeBlanc choking on rabid mice.
"Pray tell, what does the dog of what's down below want now?" LeBlanc ignored the insults, her yellowish eyes glimpsing at the newspaper that lay on the desk. "Oh? You've read the news too?" She tittered again, her laughter reminding Swain of metal grating against metal. In his mind, at least.
"Of course I've read them. Some of us can do things by ourselves, you know." He said, reaching for his cup of cocoa, only for LeBlanc to laugh and slap his hand from reaching it in a fashion that made the slap seem incidental. "Now that things concerning this little therapeutic service have taken a different turn from what we've expected, I thought we could have a bit of fun at this new development."
Swain arched a brow again, though he never once broke his stoic expression. "How so?"
"Well, some of our Noxian comrades could definitely use a little help in curbing their negative qualities." LeBlanc spoke, leaning forward towards Swain, resting her chin on the back of her hands. "I'm confident you can name a few from the back of your head."
Swain didn't want to admit it, but LeBlanc had a point. The Noxians were notorious within the League for their bad behaviour and poor attitude. Even Darius, who was meant to be the epitome of the Noxian values, was sometimes caught and sent to the Insititute's correctional facilities once or twice. Additionally, it was a little intriguing to imagine what Dr. Mundo would do to rectify the attitudes of the Noxians. But if the damage done to his comrades was irreversible, they would be as useful to him as Heimerdinger was without his massive wits.
LeBlanc must have caught the consideration in his features, for she smirked and raised a hand. "How about a little game?" She snapped her fingers, and a chess set appeared on Swain's desk, with every single piece arranged in its appropriate and proper position.
LeBlanc cleared her throat once, and said, "One round. If you win, I'll pick one of my Black Rose agents to attend Dr. Mundo's therapeutic service. If I win, you'll do the same for one of your Noxians."
Swain was ready to decline, but LeBlanc cut in. "What's wrong? Afraid your chess skills have rusted over time since you've left us?"
Before Swain could speak, the Bitc–Matron of the Black Rose once again spoke up before he could. "Then again, you've never been able to beat me while you were still with us, if I remember correctly."
Now, Swain was one of the greatest minds of Noxus. His mind was so great to the point that he could outwit and enslave the demon, Raum, to his bidding. However, like everyone else, he was still a person, and people had their pride. Nothing hurt Swain's more than the memory of humiliating defeats he suffered at the hands of LeBlanc whenever they played that cursed board game.
The icing on the cake? He looked up at LeBlanc and realised that the infuriating woman had taken his hot cocoa for herself, and was slowly sipping from the cup, making sure to make her slurps as loud as possible to further antagonise the man.
Swain's brows furrowed, and the crows perched behind his chair began cawing agitatedly as they sensed their master's suppressed fury.
Swain sat up, perching his elbows on the desk. "Give me your best shot." He said, making sure to make his words sound as icy as possible.
[[[[[]]]]]
Dr. Mundo laughed as he put a hand around Yuumi, guiding the Magical Cat to his office. "Mundo tell you, you no regret joyning!" He exclaimed excitedly, pleased that he had managed to convince yet another League champion to join his staff.
Yuumi grinned lazily. In all honesty, the only reason she joined was because she was bored, and judging the results of Soraka and Tryndamere's treatments, she was going to be massively entertained by the shenanigans of the Mad Doctor and the Loose Cannon.
The two of them entered the office to first find a bound and gagged Katarina on the waiting room sofa, who was writhing about in her chains, causing the metal links to clink together. Her muffled yet angry murmurs through the rag tied around her mouth were undoubtedly vile curses directed at the culprit of her captive state.
Sitting beside Katarina, or squatting, due to the bottom half of her body being that of a gigantic serpent's, was Cassiopeia, the Sinister Blade's younger sister, who rolled her eyes at her sister's thrashing. "The more you move around like that, Katarina, the more you're tiring yourself out."
Sitting beside them was Draven, and he was admiring his reflection in his portable mirror, making smooching faces at his reflection and even flexing his muscles a little here and there, saying (slightly disturbing) phrases such as: "Oh, you're so sexy, if I could, I would…"
"Hallo payshunts!" Dr. Mundo greeted in his usual Mundo way while Yuumi cast a lazy grin at the struggling redhead who was Katarina. Cassiopeia looked up at the purple man with an exasperated look while Draven continued to stare at his reflection lovingly. "Why are you all here?"
Cassiopeia cleared her throat as she began to explain the Noxians' current predicament. "Well…"
Dramatic flashback to about ten minutes ago…
"I've done it!" Swain exclaimed somewhat excitedly as he moved his queen up, checkmating LeBlanc. "After all this time, I've finally bested you!"
LeBlanc didn't look particularly impressed nor flabbergasted that the Grand General had managed to beat her in the chess match. She instead drained the remaining cocoa from the cup and set it down with her usual cool expression. "Honey, you didn't win this with skill," she said as she propped her elbows on the edge of the desk. "You won because I was so damned tired of your wheezing and tryharding."
LeBlanc didn't let Swain have time to reply as she asked, "So, I've decided to volunteer Cassiopeia Du Couteau to Mundo's service. Who have you decided to send?"
"Uh…" Swain checked a piece of paper that he used to write down the names of the Noxian champions who were going for Dr. Mundo's therapy. On the crisp sheet, written in neat cursive, were the names of Katarina, Samira, Draven, Sion, and Kled.
He decided to withhold the information from the Matron.
LeBlanc arched a brow, but decided to give the man across her the small mercy of not persisting. Then the corners of her lips curved upwards in her usual devious smirk.
"How about another round?"
"No." Swain's reply came almost too quickly, and he paused, taking a moment to compose himself. "I mean, I have matters to tend to. I'm sure you can relate, seeing that you run that little coven of yours."
LeBlanc grinned as she stood up. "Have it your way then, you old toad."
Swain stood up as well, maintaining his cool demeanour. "I'll see you next time, hag."
LeBlanc grinned and her staff glowed. The chess set disappeared in a poof. "Don't bet on it, bastard."
With that, she too disappeared in similar fashion to the chess set.
Swain fell back into his chair, suddenly panting as if he had just run a marathon. One of the crows perched itself on his shoulder, craning its neck towards the man with a tissue in its beak. "Thank you." Swain said as he accepted the tissue and dabbed it on his forehead. He looked at the paper that contained the names of the therapy Noxians. How was he going to explain this to them?
Back to the present…
"And that's how we ended up here." Cassiopeia finished, leaning her head on her hand. Dr. Mundo confusedly scanned the waiting room, only seeing three Noxians instead of six. "Then where's Sy-on, Sahmirah, and Kled?" He looked around the room, looking for his blue-haired secretary. "And where's Jinks?"
"The other three decided to not involve themselves with this, and I haven't seen Jinx anywhere." Cassiopeia replied. Katarina thrashed around so hard that she fell off the sofa, letting out a pained, yet still muffled, cry.
As if on cue, Jinx popped out from a room that was labelled as the "Operashun room", with a rocket in her hand. "So, Big Grey, Sexy Latina, and Crazy Old Man decided to high- tail it out of here?" The Loose Cannon made some finger guns at the Serpent's Embrace, chuckling at her own joke. Yuumi looked slightly amused. Cassiopeia… not so much.
Dr. Mundo looked at the three patients, and puffed his chest out. "Look like we need big operashun! Jinks, registur them! Yoomi, get them to their rooms!"
The blue-haired girl seemed to snap a quick salute as she ran off to do as she was requested. Dr. Mundo himself sauntered off to get into his doctor clothes. Yuumi looked at the three patients, especially looking down at the struggling Katarina in amusement. "Please, follow me." She said as she floated off on her magic book, before realising that she didn't have the slightest clue as to which rooms the Noxians were supposed to go to.
[[[[[]]]]]
Samira shot down another minion, reloading her guns after the shots. "Hey, Sion." She asked, her tone carefree. "What do you think the others are doing right now in that whole Mundo thing?"
The undead warrior growled, giving off his usual scowl. "I could hardly care less."
Samira rolled her eyes at Sion's unwillingness to just chill out for once, but before she could make a remark about it, the hulk of a man let out a sound that sounded like… a piglet's scream?
"It's her!" The Undead Juggernaut screamed as he pointed a finger at something across them before turning and running away to the best he could. Samira turned to where the man was pointing, and her eye widened at the sight of Soraka coming down their lane. "Oh, la mierda !" She cried as she turned heel and ran after Sion.
The Starchild was hot on their heels, yelling out some sort of war cry in an ancient language that no one could possibly know about as she wildly swung her staff around. Samira Flash ed forward, but the Ionian healer was still gaining on the two Noxians.
"I'm starting to wish that we went to that stupid therapy thing now!"
"Shut up and keep running for your life!"
As Lux advanced down the midlane, she heard the Noxians' screams, though she thought she was just hearing things. I mean, the feared Undead Juggernaut and the devil-may-care Desert Rose actually running and screaming for their lives? Please.
Ignoring the voices, she continued farming the next wave of minions.