In the heart of Cloud City stretched a roaring shaft of cyclopean magnitude. From it, a giant vent branched off into the metallic depths. It was where the Jedi seemed to be hiding.
The wind frayed his cloak uncomfortably, and the atmospheric sensors indicated that it would difficult for a human to breathe in here. Little oxygen, and wind, again. Unless a Jedi possessed aerokinesis, one might consider the unpleasant surroundings an advantage.
And the Jedi was quite good at hiding himself in the Force, so he was impossible to find. Should have been more careful with him. Well, the Jedi wasn't the only one who could play these games. The Darkness crawled grudgingly beneath his cloak, twisting and curling unhappily. He would not be able to hide his presence as he could before, but it would be enough to confuse the enemy.
Darth Zero noticed movement high in the wall and immediately threw his saber at it without thinking. Someone peeked out and then hid back down the pipe, crawling away in a hurry. The saber drew a perfect arc and returned to its owner without spilling any blood. Darth Zero squinted slightly, listened to the distant hum, and summoned a hologram of the map above his hand.
Where could the Jedi have retreated to? The closest was the Carbonite processing room. It was definitely worth checking it out.
The narrow, oddly triangular-shaped corridor was overhung with thick ancient panels with rows of buttons and tangles of wires. Only in some places fresh metal glinted — Cloud City had been traveling the oceans of air for a long time. A strange fog crept beneath his feet, growing thicker on the way to his goal.
Darth Zero slid into a dark room. Stacks of Carbonite blocks stood against the walls. There was a hissing sound coming from them — they must have been damaged. So that's where the fog was coming from. Luckily, the helmet's filters had improved the picture a little, making it not so dark.
At the other end of the room, a figure was moving in the fog. Gotcha! Darth Zero sent his saber toward his enemy. The red highlighted the figure more clearly, and a purple blade flashed after it. An unusual color.
The Jedi recoiled and blossomed brightly in the Force. Opened up, trying to do something about the sudden threat. But that was to Darth Zero's advantage: he could coordinate the saber's movements better from a distance. He could also sense his opponent's fear.
The corner of his mouth lifted upward. It's hard to fight when you can't see where your enemy is, isn't it?
The Jedi fought back sprawlingly, tensely, but he had been holding on for quite some time. He didn't seem to be able to take his enemy by surprise. Darth Zero still couldn't see him well, so he began to press him closer to himself. Even though the Jedi had some incredible level of Concealment, he was fighting at his limit, so he wasn't likely to cause much trouble. It's time to end this.
"No-o!" came a woman's shriek. The Jedi swung over the Carbonite freeze chamber, running forward. Darth Zero moved sideways toward the window, blocking the way, pulled his saber. The Jedi ducked under him and threw herself into a furious attack, shooting sparks out of the wall.
"Why?!" she screamed. "Why, why, WHY?!"
That voice… why did it seem so familiar?
An unsettling feeling in his stomach clenched. His gut was screaming: something was wrong, and the calm that had been there before dissipated in an instant.
His saber stopped the Jedi just a few feet away. Red and purple converged in a white flash.
And then Darth Zero looked into his opponent's face and saw a ghost.
For a second he was sure he was mistaken, for a second he stared, telling himself he was imagining things. And when at last he fully realized that he was not imagining it, he lost all thread of coherent thought.
He wanted to scream. But he couldn't get his lips apart, and the scream all came out in the Force. It exploded in on itself and threw the Jedi back against the opposite wall by the window.
This is impossible. Impossible! She had been dead for a long time!
But there she stood before him, breathing nervously, frightened, and her eyes, bright violet, opened wide. She was what Lelouch had imagined her to be in those rare moments when he believed in a happy future. Grown up, with a healthy blush on her cheeks, able to walk and run, able to see. One that could stand up for herself, independent and brave.
It was a dream that suddenly became a reality.
But dreams don't just come true. Something good can't just happen by itself, something so incredible. No, someone cruelly decided to mock his loss, to hit him where it hurt the most.
The angular mass of rage swirled, rasping in his chest. Darkness reacted easily and quickly, giving in to the heat, and flames erupted within him. The floor vibrated and sparks sprinkled from above, Darth Zero felt a second of satisfaction at this small destruction of some ancient device. The Darkness lashed out further towards the chaos, but he familiarly strangled it and turned it in ice.
His voice was back under control, too, as was the clear order of his thoughts. Only his cheek was still twitching nervously.
"You…" Darth Zero exhaled. "What are you…?"
The Jedi was silent. She wrinkled her face in fright, and her lips trembled, and that pitying expression only made him angrier. Darth Zero felt himself begin to shake with rage again, and he wanted so badly to finally get rid ofits source. But even at his furious worst, he couldn't hurt his sister...
"Answer me," he demanded angrily. The Jedi remained silent.
…Or even someone who looked so much like her. His enemies knew that, of
course. And they dared!…
Darth Zero couldn't stand it any longer and rushed forward, lightsaber nimbly sliding into his hand. He put all his furious strength into an empty punch through the air, the Jedi batted it away and retreated to the window.
The light outlined her lean figure and the hilt of her saber. Curved, exactly
ike his current saber had been. Silver, with a red lining under the hand. Darth Zero knew this saber like the back of his hand.
The very same saber, with his first crystal. Created on the evening of that fateful day when Lelouch had regained the Force.
"You," he spat out in disgust, "you, where did you get that saber?!"
Another blow scorched the Jedi's hair. From a low ponytail, it disintegrated over her shoulders, making her look even more like Nunnally.
"Did Kururugi give it to you?!"
She flinched. Darth Zero curled his lips in disgust and shoved her back to the window. His old lightsaber had been taken by Kururugi, so only he could have given it to someone. So he was involved in this obscenity.
Even after everything that had happened between them, after he'd blackmailed him with Kallen, Darth Zero hadn't expected Kururugi to try to get him that way. He himself wouldn't do such a thing, though it seemed to him now that it was worth it to take Euphemia out of the grave. Or better then get her to say more horrible things to Suzaku, to finally stomp on his heart. Or no, inject him with a refrain, let him remember his nightmares.
Suzaku doesn't have the Darkness to deal with all this. And him, him, Darth Zero, he can't be hurt!
"Do you really think," he hissed angrily, "that you can get me? He thought you could drive me out of my mind! With such a despicable, pathetic trick?!"
He's invulnerable! No one can even scratch him, not even this… this disgusting copy!
His forehead was sweating, and Darth Zero swiped at his helmet with his hand in some blind fit. His inside was bursting with heat, his cheeks burning, his throat burning too, that nervous laughter growing out of him. He was shaking erratically, like he was having a seizure.
"I don't know what you're talking about!" screamed the Jedi.
It was as if a bucket of water had been poured on Darth Zero, he froze his body, only turning his head toward the Jedi. His voice trailed off again with anger, and he hissed:
"What am I talking about…?"
The creature, she pretends not to understand! Wants to make him feel sorry for her.
"How dare you even exist!"
Darth Zero was breathing hard and loud. Enough already. Need control. Ne-ed co-n-tro-l. He reached out almost instinctively for the Darkness to it cut out anything redundant with its icy knife. And he would deal with what remained.
Hating had always been easy.
"They did make a forcesensitive clone. And they decided to make you to…"
Darth Zero raised his lightsaber, stepping forward. Of course she's a clone. How else could it be? Nunnally is dead, but someone decided to abuse her.
"Oh, and they're going to pay for it, they're going to regret…"
"I'm not a clone!" screamed the Jedi in panic, backing toward the window.
That's exactly what a backstabbing clone would say, wouldn't it?
"I'm not a clone!" she repeated. "I'm just…!"
Wouldn't it?!
She's screaming so hard, she's really scared. No, no, no, that's what they want him to believe!
"It can't be," Darth Zero muttered more to himself, shaking his head negatively. It's not real, Nunnally couldn't have survived. There wasn't a piece of her ship left. He saw it himself! "You are dead…" he went on, then suddenly stopped. "But only if the Jedi…"
She's here in Cloud City with a group of Jedi Darth Zero had forgotten about. It's no accident, and while Schneizel and Kururugi have a real shot at creating such a clone, the exiled Council does not. And they're at war with the Empire, so an alliance is out of the question.
He was feeling a void inside. His legs grew weak.
And then, there were Jedi on the ship with her. Guarding the chancellor's daughter back from the dead. Yeah, that thing, Rolo Haliburton. Could he have disobeyed Schneizel's orders at the last minute and then covered up the fact that Nunnally had survived? What would then…
The icy metal flowed through his veins. Darth Zero froze, even his thoughts froze, either in denial or simply stalled from shock.
If it was her. If she was alive. Not dead. Still breathing. And standing right here. Afraid.
A loud crack jolted him out of his stupor. The glass cracked from the melted hole and collapsed down with the Jedi. Laths of transparent, wobbly shards were left sticking out of the round edges of the frame.
His eyes darkened in spots.
If it was her. Not a clone. Then they hadn't just abused her image. They've
abused her. Used her.
Darth Zero opened his eyes wide, Darkness surging forward like a rocket and blasting the rest of the glass outward.
How dare they!
Yet in the next second, Zero regretted it and jumped out the window, catching the shards with the Force in a panic. The glass rain hovered, and he along with it. The wind beat powerlessly at the invisible web of holding threads, but could not shake it.
That's it. Need to be more careful.
The Jedi sat down, looking straight at him. She was wearing a thin sand-colored tunic and light-colored pants with ribbons wrapped near her boots. So unfamiliar, Nunnally had always prefaced her dresses.
Nunnally.
He must know! He must know it is her!
"Stay where you are," he ordered, and, just in case, pointed the glass toward the edges of the platform, from which the bridges running along the walls of the well departed.
If it's a clone, it shouldn't have any signs of surgery on its spine. No, it was unlikely that anyone could replicate that scar and metal plate exactly as the original had. Should check it out, except she's obviously afraid…
The Jedi jumped onto the railing and suddenly fell down.
"Stop," Darth Zero shouted, his heart leaping at his heels. He crumbled to the floor along with a hail of splinters.
Hurried footsteps ran from below, and he immediately felt better. There was another floor!
Darth Zero rushed after the rumbling sound, igniting his saber as he ran. He wouldn't let her get away. He could sense her in the Force, she wasn't going anywhere, and if she tried to Hide, he would send all the Knights to find her, never mind the rest of the Jedi.
The wind tried to blow away the runner, but Darth Zero didn't feel it at all. His mask, closed tight clothing, and the Force protected him, and in this two-story race, he pulled ahead. Braking sharply, so that inertia pulled his cloak forward, he stuck his saber into the floor.
If she is running away, if she wants to hide so badly, does that mean she's not fake? Wouldn't a spy clone try to kill him, or gain his trust?
Darth Zero kicked a melted piece of the floor and flew down. The Jedi turned around with a squeal, he threw his saber in front of her, and she rolled onto the dead-end bridge.
No, she was really, really scared. He could hear the bitter, heavy despair in the Force. Damn it! She has to stop!
Darth Zero summoned his saber and slashed the pipes above her head. The Jedi, expectantly, turned around and took the blow. Better to let her fight, it would be easier to disarm her and make her stand still.
"Stop running away."
"No!"
She frantically glanced from side to side, looking for a way out, but continued to fight hard. Not giving up until the end. Darth Zero was lost between seething adrenaline anger and something like… pride. It was like a little sun had blossomed inside.
He knew she was real.
He could feel it in the Force. Even though her Force had changed so much, he saw more and more familiarity now.
Darth Zero squeezed her almost to the very end of the bridge, each blow forcing her further and further back. She was drenched in sweat, her swings slow and clumsy, he even had to slow his own pace. And still she continued to stand, wobbling and panting.
"You can't beat me anyway," Darth Zero said irritably. Somehow she didn't understand the obvious.
"What on earth do you want from me?!" she shouted and rushed forward with a sudden leap. He barely had time to turn around with his armored shoulder pad, sacrificing a piece of his cloak on it. Darkness pulled the fury to the surface once more, Darth Zero exhaled growlingly and threw the Jedi by Force to the very edge. She finally fell and couldn't get up. Clung to the railing.
Only she still had her saber. His lightsaber, by the way. Darth Zero flung his left arm forward and tried to call out to it, as he had done hundreds of times. It responded, but the Jedi Force was in the way.
"Enough," Darth Zero hissed. How much more could she resist? Irritation welled up inside him and he twisted her arm, the lightsaber finally broke free andlanded in his palm. He squeezed his fingers tightly, feeling a brief flush of pleasant nostalgia.
Damn, he missed that ligtsaber. He wouldn't have even traded it in for a red one if Suzaku hadn't despicably dragged it away. Because of Kururugi, he had to scramble to find another way to get the crystal since the path to Illum was closed.
Darth Zero leveled his breathing, taming the raging Darkness. It had swirled into the ocean from the hurricane, crushing him with the cold of the depths, but also giving him the pleasant sensation of underwater weightlessness. Even the sounds grew muffled for a second.
That's better. What is needed now is calm. Need to try to talk, to find out what's going on.
But where to start?
"Why are you here with the Jedi?" he finally asked. Nunnally knew the story of his exile well enough to have forgotten it and trusted them.
Nunnally…
It was the first time Darth Zero had called her, this girl in front of him, by her name. And he felt a shy flicker of happiness. She's really alive!
"None of your business!"
He shuddered slightly. With a measured movement, he hung both lightsabers on his belt. He lowered his hands, staring at the floor for a long moment, then at the cloudy abyss that was not even a meter away.
…When was the last time he called himself by his old name?
It was that vague fear that feels like a prickly emptiness, the kind that comes from feeling like you've forgotten something important. You scrape at the walls of the well of your mind, trying to remember what it was, and why you need it so urgently. And slowly you come to the painful realization that it's too late to remember.
Nunnally was shaking with panicked fear, hell, he'd almost killed her! Of course she was out of her mind. Lelouch would surely find the right words to comfort her. And as Darth Zero tried to rekindle those memories of tenderness, he realized that nothing he could say would ever make things right.
How simple things used to be! He had been himself in two appearances that should never have crossed paths. Then, one of them had melted away in anguish, and who needed it now? And now Nunnally was faced with the second in a situation where the first was needed.
The first… Even if it was possible to remember correctly how it was before, or even to act it out, it would be completely wrong. Play your part, lie to the end — that was the rule Lelouch, Zero, Darth Zero had always followed. No matter how hard it was, because otherwise it would only get worse.
This situation is no exception. Therefore, Darth Zero should be the one to solve the problem, even though he didn't really understand how to do it.
"You must come with me," he finally concluded in a confident, harsh tone.
Nunnally shuddered distinctly. Never mind, she would have to endure it, for her own good. It was clear — Nunnally was not to remain with the Jedi. She must not be used.
The thought made the spite so strong it took his breath away. And the Darkness within began to unfurl the rings of its dark feelers. Usually Darth Zero didn't pay much attention to it, using it to fight and to make himself feel more or less bearable. But now it seemed to him that it stuck in his throat with a shard of ice and prevented him from showing even a fraction of his former gentleness. It kept him from softening his harsh words so that Nunnally would not be so hurt.
…Why was he thinking about it?…
There was no way Darth Zero could drive out the Darkness even for a brief moment, because otherwise he wouldn't be Darth. He suddenly felt a wave of claustrophobia, as if someone had locked him in a narrow, stuffy room, bound his arms and legs with wide ribbons. Swaddled to the fullest.
Panic pierced him with a sharp needle. But immediately released, dissolved by the Darkness.
No, no, his thoughts of doubt had already gone in circles. No more. The past must not come back, not even to think about it.
Ice-cold shivers ran down his back, Darth Zero twitched his shoulders. Once again he caught the feeling of deep underwater lightness.
"You're not even a Jedi. They rejected you a long time ago, thinking you weak
and useless."
"You know nothing!" Nunnally objected.
No, of course Darth Zero knew. The Jedi expelled him from the Order and then tried to turn him into a mindless pawn. Acting like high moral snobs, but in reality they were no stranger to meanness. Getting this to Nunnally was very important, even if it was likely to be a long argument.
"And now they've found their advantage and are using you," Darth Zero continued, his voice getting lower and lower, his anger rising. "hey told you that you had to kill me, didn't they? That you were the only one who could do it? How disgusting, they wanted to make you an assassin…."
Just as he thought, they knew that his hand would only waver in front of Nunnally, and they were going to use that. Darth Zero grimaced in disgust and clenched his fists, imagining he would clench them in front of the Jedi Masters very soon, breaking their bones. He hated them so much right now that this hatred was intoxicating.
"They didn't want anything! I made up my own mind! I came to them myself, because you…" tears ran down Nunnally's cheeks.
No, she was manipulated…
"You killed my own brother!"
Darth Zero was speechless for a few seconds. Then he exhaled in shock:
"What is this nonsense?!"
Nonsense, absolute nonsense just… He certainly didn't expect this.
What, Darth Zero killed himself? That's ridiculous! Unless it was a figure of speech, but he wasn't crazy enough to think of himself as two different people.
To imagine such a fantasy is to be dangerously deluded, not to take responsibility for your actions. It's so easy, so tempting to say, "It was the Darkness, and I did nothing wrong." That's what the Jedi think, they see the Darkness as some kind of sentient substance that drives people crazy. But the truth is, it's just a whisper of a repressed subconscious that has gained more power through the Force.
It's laughable. And it's the kind of absurd idea that only one person could
come up with.
"Who told you that, Kururugi too?"
"Oh, he told me a lot of things!" Nunnally said angrily.
Of course, Suzaku could not be expected to confess to Nunnally that he had almost killed Lelouch himself. It was even good that he hadn't. But why couldn't he just declare Lelouch dead? No, he had to make up that nonsense!
But at Kururugi, the anger was already over. For now, it's later rage would return in an inevitable avalanche. Darth Zero felt tired. He felt… broken. It was clear now why so much uncharacteristic hatred had brewed in Nunnally.
She had felt so bad. Lelouch thought about it, felt the bitterness in his mouth, which flowed into his stomach in a clinging, stinging sludge. His chest tightened and it felt as if the armor had become too heavy in the blink of an eye.
"Why did you do it, why? Did you want to poison my life? Only you poisoned Nunnally's life."
She had never been vindictive. She was an incredibly kind and gentle person. But even she would find it difficult to live peacefully, constantly hearing news about the murderer of a loved one. Those lies made her vulnerable. A loophole that was exploited by her detractors.
"I didn't kill him," Darth Zero said in a pained voice. It was all he could say, he had already betrayed that he knew who Lelouch was anyway.
He said and planted a painful seed of phantom hope that he himself had just suffered from. That hope that the one she loved was still alive… He had done it for a mistake, a mistake!
"Then where is he?!"
Really, where is he? If Lelouch is alive, he must be presented or Nunnally won't believe him. And she must be convinced, it's a matter of her safety!
Darth Zero inhaled deeply, his heart beating harder than it had during the battle. He saw no way out. He had nothing to lie about, and the truth would go against his own rule.
No, he couldn't really confess, could he? On his own, erase this boundary between the two identities he'd so carefully built to protect his loved ones? It would be foolish, it would ruin everything, it wouldn't solve the problem!
Darth Zero had no right to do that.
And the claustrophobic feeling was back. It was as if he was cautiously peering out of the depths of his eyes, and his entire body was bogged down in a thick void. He nervously ran his thumb over his old lightsaber to make sure his body was still obeying him.
"Where is he?!" Nunnally shouted angrily.
In the end… Lelouch wanted only one thing: to see the smile on Nunnally's face again. To hug her again.
"Right here," he exhaled. He couldn't find the strength to look at her, so he stared into the abyss. The other's voice struggled to obey him. "Nunnally, I am your brother."
He had said it. Unbelievable.
He said it.
His head spun, and the abyss suddenly acquired a sucking force of gravity.
"No!" Nunnally whispered in horror. "It's not true. It's impossible!"
Of course he wasn't expecting joy, it was just… This horror frightened him too.
"Listen to your feelings, and you will realize that it is true," Lelouch pleaded. Let her realize that he had always wished her well.
Let her smile like she used to.
"You're lying!" Nunnally shouted. His eyes stinging with heat, Lelouch pursed his lips.
He remembered how once she had been ill, and he had sat by her side, never leaving a step. Postponed all matters related to the Order of the Black Knights for her sake. He loved her so much, for no reason at all, just for her veryexistence, which made the universe a little kinder. And he put all that love into words, so that the sincere feeling would convey the truth.
"No, the others lied to you. And so did I. But now… you must know the truth
so no one can use you again."
Lelouch finally found the strength to look into her eyes, hoping to find a spark of understanding.
But there was nothing but sheer horror. Denial. Disgust. Her lips trembled, tears welled up in her eyes. They ran down her cheeks, fell from her chin, and were carried away by the wind.
His heart plummeted.
"That's not tru-u-ue." Nunnally jammed her face into the antenna. She couldn't even look at him anymore. At that wall of Darkness between them.
What… what… what had he done?!
He wanted so badly to rip off that cursed mask and shout "it's me, it's nothing to fear!". But he absolutely couldn't, not in this foul windswept atmosphere, and if he even could… There would never be Lelouch behind the Darth Zero's mask anyway.
He'd just tried to fool himself, to make himself believe that Lelouch was out there somewhere. Except that the illusion still didn't change the nature of the truth.
Darth Zero slowly touched his mask, its sharp, predatory edges. He let himself forget who he really was. Damned heartless Sith Lord. He had imagined, just for a moment, that he could be the same person as before, but it was a lie. And so Nunnally saw only the vile, unnatural falsity that Darth Zero had tried to pass off as her brother.
There was a wicked irony in it. Lelouch didn't want to recognize himself in the mirror, because he would be sickened by the sight. He couldn't live with what he'd done, so he wanted to be someone else who could. Well, he'd achieved his goal.
A ghost assembled from the shards of memories could only claim to be a crude imitation. And it only broke Nunnally's heart even more.
There's no way to glue it back together. No way to make her happy. Darth Zero's words wouldn't change anything. But he could still do the most important thing: protect her.
"You must come with me," Darth Zero held out his hand invitingly in a last attempt to reason with her. "And I will protect you."
"No… No, no!" Nunnally shook her head.
As if he'd just turn around and walk away when he heard her refusal. Fine, she wouldn't go with him willingly, so what, force her now? Darth Zero could, he was good at forcing people to do things they didn't want to do. He could have dealt with her harshly, for her own good. He really didn't want to do that, nor did he want to cross himself. But he was very good at that too.
Darth Zero closed his eyes, something hot and wet rolling down his cheeks. Called upon the Darkness. He really needed this state right now, where he felt like he was in the eye of the storm. Controlled anger usually helped him want to do what was necessary.
Cold.
He opened his eyes. Nunnally pushed the antenna with her hands and fell into the abyss. The Force surged, caught hold of the old lightsaber and carried it away with it.
"NO!" screamed Darth Zero so that his throat was wrenched with pain. He rushed to the railing, his Force rushing after him and diving down. Weaving its harnesses into a tight net beneath Nunnally before he even focused his gaze on her.
Nunnally floundered in the air, slowly sinking lower and lower. For some reason she felt very heavy in the Force. She was resisting his will.
"What are you doing?!" Darth Zero wheezed. It seemed to him that he was making a real physical effort: his outstretched hand was shaking with tension.
Nunnally stared at him with wide-open eyes.
'I won't let you…'
Darth Zero clenched his teeth angrily and balled his fist. Step by step he shattered her Force's resistance, pulling her upward.
She would be with him. Safe. Whether she wanted to or not. She would realize later that he was right.
"I wish you were dead!"
Nunnally swung her hand, her Force blossoming into a blade of fire, slicing through the Darkness. A moment later, she vanished into the void.
…Darth Zero became aware of himself next time sitting on the floor of the bridge. He clutched at the thin tubes of the railing and tucked his legs under him, curling up into a ball. His head was empty.
Far below, in the depths of the shaft, Nunnally's light glowed in the Force. She was alive. Darth Zero inhaled, and he felt dizzy. It seemed he had not been breathing at all this whole time.
What had he done?
Nunnally hates him. No, Darth Zero is hated by plenty of people, but he is made to be hated and admired. Yet Nunnally now knows the truth. The image of a loving older brother has been shattered, and her bright faith in goodness has been undermined. He let it happen, he made a terrible mistake. Now she hates Lelouch.
Lelouch would not have gotten over it. It is a good thing he's not here.
Maybe Suzaku was right about something. Only he did not know that Darth Zero was not responsible for this particular death.
It was suicide.