"Mrs. Moomin…?"
"Moominmamma, dear." Mamma didn't even look up from her knitting, merely flicking an ear at the quiet voice.
"I have to leave Moominvalley."
Now Moominmamma looked up, somewhat startled. "What ever for, Tutu?"
The girl on the sofa- a very pretty thing indeed, but a rather unusual sight, with that lovely pink hair and soft white wings- looked down at her lap, rather dejected. She fidgeted her ankles a little, crossing and uncrossing them.
"It's dangerous for you- for all of you- to be letting me stay here. The Raven is after me- his crows have already hurt people here and caused so much trouble. If I leave, they should leave Moominvalley alone, too. Mrs. Fillyjonk said–"
"Never you mind what Mrs. Fillyjonk says," Mamma interrupted her before she could get any further. "Personally, I think she's rather a silly woman who makes a big fuss over everything, especially nonsense. Why- did she tell you to leave Moominvalley?"
One of these days she would have to go over and have a real talk with that woman.
"…No," the girl admitted sadly. "Well- not exactly, at least. It's just that, I was so happy here and wasn't thinking about how it would affect you and- and Mr. Moomin, and Moomin and everyone- when she told me about how the crows destroyed her garden and tried to attack her children, it made me realize how selfish I was being, wanting to stay here–"
Mamma cut in firmly. "Everyone in Moomin House is well aware of the dangers. If it was a problem–"
"But that's just it!" Tutu cried, looking up sharply."You don't know all of it! You don't know all the horrible things he could do to you all if he caught you! It's not right for you to keep me here just because you–"
"Tutu."
Stopping mid-stitch, Mamma folded her knitting neatly and placed it down. "We are not letting you stay here out of a sense of obligation. We are letting you stay because we like you."
"You don't even know me!" Tutu protested.
"Of course I do," Mamma replied. "You are a kind and lovely girl. Sniff and Moomin adore you, you're already thebest of friends with Snorkmaiden, and Little My– well, I'm sure she'll warm up to you eventually."
Tutu stood up, shaking her head desperately. "It's still not right," she insisted."It's even worse because you all consider me a- a friend–oh, how could I have been soselfish?!"
That was it.
Moominmamma got out of her rocking chair and moved across the room to Tutu. Placing a soft, pudgy paw on the girl's cheek, she tilted her head down, so that they were looking into each other's eyes. "Oh, Tutu- dear, dear Tutu! What's all this talk of selfishness? Why, you're one of the kindest people I've ever met!"
There was a certain glisten to Tutu's silvery-blue eyes that suggested tears. "I– can't have- a life like..this," she stuttered, color rising to her cheeks."I'm- not supposed to! I'm not ordinary–I mean- I can't- I wish I could, but I have to protect…everyone… everywhere! I've already been here too long, who knows what might have already happened outside of the valley! My father–"
"-Would want you to be safe and happy," Mamma interrupted again."That's what all good parents want for their children- and I'm sure the Swan King would want that for you, too."
"No, he wouldn't!" Tutu cried.
Apparently realizing how that sounded, she blushed even harder, and the first of the real tears gathered on her eyelashes.
"I- I mean- at least- he would, if there wasn't… if I wasn't… I have a duty!"
Mamma bit her lower lip, biting back a snappish remark. The more she heard about this 'swan king', the more she disliked him.
Of course, she wouldn't say that out loud, especially not to Tutu, since the poor child seemed devoted to him- or at least to the idea of him that she had in her head. If she ever met him in person, however… Well, that was a different story.
One thing was for certain– if Tutu was her daughter, she would never feel like she had to sacrifice her own happiness for anything. Certainly not some nonsense about giant birds.
"Listen to me, Tutu. You're still a child. Children only have one 'duty'- that is to be happy and safe and grow up into strong, wise people. It isn't selfish to want that for yourself– why, it's the healthiest, most natural thing I can think of."
The tear in Tutu's eyelashes rolled down her cheek, followed by another, and then another. "But– but I–"
"No."
Short, simple and sharp- that one word cut through the air like a knife. A little harsh, perhaps- usually Moominmamma tried her utmost to remain gentle- but it had to be said.
Tutu looked at her in a combination of shock and something else she couldn't quite place- sadness, perhaps? Resignation? Dejectedness? The tears were falling in earnest now, and the cheek under Mamma's hand was beginning to tremble a little.
This has gone on quite long enough.
"Tutu, I want you to tell me something- and I want you to be truthful. Not just with me, but with yourself. Are you frightened of this… this Raven creature?"
Those huge blue eyes, so like her own Moomin's eyes, stared into hers for a moment, then…
"…Yes," came the very small reply.
"And do you feel safe, or at least a bit safer, in Moomin House?"
"Yes."
"Tutu- do you want to stay here? With us?"
The silence stretched on and on, feeling much longer than it actually was- if Tutu's lips hadn't begun to tremble and the tears to continue to fall, it would have seemed that time had stopped.
"…Yes," came the reply at last, a quiet, sobbing gasp that practically tore through the girl's slender frame, and now she was really crying, shoulders shaking as she was wracked with sobs, face flushing red and tears absolutely soaking her face. "Yes, I- I want to stay with you, but–"
Burying her face in her hands, Tutu collapsed to her knees, her dress pooling out around her like a dropped cake. In between sobs, she managed to gasp out,"But– if I- stay here, my country- and he'll- I c-can't–"
Moominmamma hummed soft and low, placing her chin gently on the top of Tutu's head and wrapping her arms around her shoulders. She felt the girl press into her soft, short-furred belly, and she started to sway ever so slightly on the spot, rocking her like she was a particularly large baby.
"There, there. It's alright- it's alright, Tutu. Cry all you like."
Her hand stroked up and down the girl's spine in a comforting manner.
Her heart ached at every hiccuping sob- not because she was crying, of course. Rather, it ached because Tutu- this girl, this child, however much she protested about it- had felt such a need to repress her emotions, to the point that she broke down like this; and that she wanted to run away from what was quite possibly the first place she had ever been really happy.
Mamma didn't know much about royalty, nobility, or magic, but she did know about children.
Whoever, or whatever, had made this sweet girl feel like this- the fur along her spine bristled angrily at the very thought.
She was pulled out of her reverie by a sudden squeeze around her middle. Tutu had wrapped her arms- or wings, perhaps- around her, clinging to her like she was her only lifeline. Her face was pressed against her belly now, and her tears and breath were hot and sticky against her fur.
"Mrs.- Mrs.–" she choked, her tremblings not dying down but rather increasing in strength.
It was a wonder how she had contained it all- it seemed like her slender frame would have shattered like a dropped bottle long before it had gotten this bad. "I'm– so sorry. Mrs.- I can't–stop, I–"
"You don't need to," Moominmamma murmured, continuing to rock her. "You've been strong for far too long– it's alright to cry."
Tutu's grip tightened- it was a bit uncomfortable, since she was surprisingly strong, not to mention that her fingers were a bit like claws, so they were rather sharp- but Mamma didn't mind.
Shifting her position so that Tutu's head was tucked under her snout, she wrapped as much of her short arms as she could around her, til she was practically engulfed in a warm, white-velveted cocoon.
This wouldn't be the end of it- oh, no. When Tutu finally stopped crying (still not for a long while yet, it seemed), she would still want to leave.
When she was finally convinced to stay, she would still feel guilty about being happy.
When she stopped feeling guilty- well, there would still be a lot of work to do after that.
But Mamma was willing to see it through. Really, it was the small victories that made it worthwhile- like the way that Tutu finally relaxed fully against her, or, even better, the occasional, soft gasps of "mother" in between sobs.
No, there was still quite a ways to go…
But Moominmamma was more than willing to see it through.
Author's Notes:
This is actually a drabble from my RP blog for the 'original' Princess Tutu (the url is swanwinged-princess on Tumblr, even though I haven't been on there in a hot second, lol) based on a dream I had when I was rewatching the 90s Moomin anime.
...Yeah, that's the context. I thought it was good, so... Yeah.