Hey guys! This story came to be because of the prompt, "Starts with Please don't do it, and ends with Please don't do it. Hopefully everything lines up. Sadly, this one is on the end of the more depressing stories…so enjoy :). Also, sorry for any grammar errors.
*I own nothing*
TMNT
"Please don't do it."
Raph looked at his younger brother with sad eyes, his hands trembled with the exceeding weight of his red duffle bag.
"I have to Mike. I just can't stay here anymore, listening to Leo always japing at me, or Donnie trying to change me. It's just too much!" He argued. Truth was, he didn't want to leave. But it was a matter of emotion, and his emotional status was rather unstable.
But Mikey wouldn't understand that. And as much as Raph wanted him to understand, the red-masked brother didn't want his youngest brother to go through that. He was already suffering, why have someone else suffer?
Mikey wiped away a few tears. "Please don't leave Raph. I need you, and it doesn't matter how bad the others treat you because I'll protect you!"
"How?!" Raph madly gestured with his hands, "How are you going to fix this?" Raph gestured to his body. "Mikey I'm a mess! And no matter how much you protect me, I will never change for them. Apparently, that's not enough. That sickens me, I will never change for them!"
The tone in the air had changed, but it felt rather mad than tense. Raph was angry, but not in the way he had expected.
"But I need you, Raph!" Mikey sobbed; tears drew down his pale cheeks. His hands twitched with every jerk of his head. He was beyond reasoning with, defeat wasn't an option.
"Stop being selfish, you're just trying to keep me here," Raph scoffed, "Can't you see I'm miserable! By trying to keep me here, you're trying to tell me to continue to suffer. Just let me go…..." His voice went oddly soft. "Please Mikey, let me do this."
"NO RAPH! Never or ever am I allowing you to do this! You're my brother, and last time I checked, we're not allowed to give up so easily!"
Mikey ran over and grabbed his hot-headed brothers' arms, but Raph shrugged him off with a small jerk. "Mikey, there's nothing you can do to stop me. I'm leaving…and that's final." He watched Mikey fall into a small heap on the floor, tears struck his own eyes at the sight. "It's not like I'm trying to hurt you Mike, but this isn't a matter I'm willing to discuss. I must leave, and for that, it should be enough."
"No, your just being a quitter," Mikey looked at him from the floor with venomous eyes, "You know, I get it. Life is hard, but you don't see me trying to run away from all of it."
Raph couldn't believe his eyes, Mikey had been completely devastated one moment, and now he was becoming angrier?! He was supposed to be the hot-headed one, not his little brother.
But it seemed the tables had turned.
Mikey got up and stomped over to Raph, so close that he could kiss him. "Don't think that I don't have my struggles, because trust me, I do. But I never threaten to run away, because I know that it would devastate each and every one of you! I set my problems aside, but you don't. And that for some reason makes you, my hero. But I don't know what to really think anymore."
His voice was quieter than before. "I want to say that I'm angry, but I'm not. I'm scared Raph, scared that if you leave, you wouldn't come back."
Raph didn't know what to say, for once in his life, he was speechless.
"Raph, leave if you want. I can't make you stay."
Mikey looked his brother in the eyes and leaned forward to gave Raph a hug. To which Raph accepted and hugged him back harder.
"But you're my older brother Raph, and I can't stand to see you leave."
Raph wanted to stay, but in his heart, he knew that it wasn't the right decision. His mask was cracking, and the pain underneath had only begun to show. Leo and Donnie weren't helping that matter. And it didn't matter what Mikey would promise, for the safety of his family, he needed to leave.
"I'm sorry Mike, but I can't stay," he sighed, feeling tears streak down his chest. He wanted to cry to, everything that had brought him down to earth was now crumbling to pieces. There wasn't a single pole for him to attach himself into to. Simply, Raph was floating away.
Metaphorically of course
"Then I'm sorry," Mikey gave a strangled breath, "I should've protected you, or at least been there for you."
Raph held his brother a little tighter, "But you already have Mikey."
-0-
*Flashback*
"Ralphie! Please don't hurt me," Mikey squealed as he turned right. Raph wasn't far behind him; his skin painted a soft pink.
"YOUR DEAD!" he shouted making a sharp right turn. He got on the couch and leaped unto Mikey's back. The young toddler struggled to get out of his grip.
"Please! Spare me mercy!" Mikey cried out, slightly giggling from the pink aura coming from his older brother. But Raph didn't budge. He instead grabbed Mikey's arm and begun to pull. Hard. He was completely unaware of the pain written on his younger brother's face.
"Raph…Please that actually hurts!" The younger toddler yelled, tears streamed down his face, it felt like his arms were being pulled out of his sockets. Fire, that's what it felt like.
"I mean it Raph! IT HURTS!" Mikey pleaded, he let out a small sob. "RAPH, STOP!"
Raph knew the difference between someone faking a cry of pain, and when someone was hurt. And this was no fake cry. He immediately pulled back as Mikey curled into a ball.
"I'm s-so sorry Mikey! I didn't mean for this to happen," Raph said softly, he gave a small shake of the head as a familiar feeling rested in his throat. It was tight, constricting, and beyond unfamiliarity. He reached to touch his younger brother but pulled away feeling ashamed. It was planned to be all fun and games, but this was far from any game he knew.
And he hated it.
Mikey uncurled himself, he tried to move his left arm, but it only dangled. "Raph! What's wrong with my arm?!" he shrieked.
Fear immediately embeamed itself into Raph brain, he felt afraid and sick at the same time. He had dislocated Mikey's shoulder.
He had hurt his own brother.
"DONNIE!"
Donnie came rushing into the room, almost instantly, he ran over to his younger brother. Feeling shushed away, Raph walked away to his room.
There wasn't a place for him anymore.
TMNT
It had been a good four days before Mikey's brothers allowed him to go visit Raph. For the being, Raph had confined himself in his room.
"Raph?" A timid voice asked from his dark doorway.
Raph immediately knew who it was, that annoying voice only belonged to one person. Yet, he was afraid to face him, after what he had done, he didn't deserve to be called a brother to anyone.
But Mikey headed in anyway, he walked over and sat on Raph's bed. Looking over, Mikey laid his hand on top of his older brothers. "Hey Raph, it's been awhile."
Raph pulled his hand away. "I know, now please leave."
"Why? Did I do something wrong?"
It wasn't what Mikey did, but it was rather what he did. Distance was the safest option right then.
"I just need some time alone Mike," he sighed. Truly, he didn't want to be alone, he had felt very afraid lately, and it was hard to not rely on anyone but himself. But he couldn't please everyone.
The young toddler shook his head. "I'm sorry Raph, but as brothers, we should never have to go through things alone."
"But I did that!" Raph gestured to Mikey's sling, "I hurt you! You should be scared of me!"
"But it was on accident. I should know, I make a lot of those."
Raph was flabbergasted, how in the world was Mikey not running away from him?! If it was him, he would be cussing out whoever had caused his injury. But Mikey wasn't like that, he was different. Way more compassionate, and caring than any of his brothers could manage themselves.
But even then, Mikey was pretending. After living with him for all those years, Raph knew when his youngest brother was truly suffering.
"Your not telling the truth," Raph argued, "I know that you want to say that I shouldn't be called your brother! And I agree…I've been a very bad boy."
Mikey shrugged, "Does it matter if I'm just a little hurt? What matters is that I still love you. And that your my hero."
The hot-headed brother felt tears coming to his eyes. He couldn't come up with what to say, if it weren't for Mikey, he might have just left.
Raph turned and gave his brother a heartfelt hug. And for once, he didn't care who saw.
-0-
*End really sad flashback*
"You have brought me so much joy Mikey, and I want to say thanks for that. You've always been there for me," Raph choked out. Mikey burrowed himself deeper into his brother's chest.
"I can't believe this is the last time I'll be crying with you," Mikeys muffled voice cried out, "Or that the last dinner we would have together was tonight, or that last night was the last patrol! I can't even come in your room when I have nightmares! You see how much I need you Raph, your my everything."
"It's not the end Mike, in fact, it's just the beginning. I need time to see who I truly am, and I can't do that here." Raph said softly. He held his brother tightly, it would a long time before he would do this again.
"Be come back safe," Mikey lifted his head, "I can't stop you, but please come back to me!"
Raph let go of Mikey, he took a long, good look at his younger brothers' eyes. "I promise Mikey, with every fiber in my being, I promise to come home safe."
And with that, Raph took Mikey to his room and kissed him goodnight. He waited till Mikey feel asleep and gave one last kiss on the forehead.
"Goodnight Outoto, stay safe little brother." He whispered and begun to walk out.
TMNT
Mikey opened his eyes and watched Raph walk out the door and close it.
The last time
"Please don't do this," he whispered.
But it was too late.
TMNT
Y'all, I cried so much writing this. When this idea came to be, I planned to have Raph stay but intuition took me other places, so if you want me to make an alternate version where Raph stays, please let me know. Thank you so much for reading this story. Please R&R!