"What happened between you and Beck?" Tori confronted her later that week. She was sat on the couch opposite Tori in her living room. She'd been expecting this to come up. Beck and her had been extra frosty with each other all week and Tori was perceptive. So when she invited her over after school this evening she had a feeling it wasn't just to get their assignment started.

"Why would you think something happened?" She attempted to act normal.

"Because you're being weird around each other again," Tori shrugged.

"Nothing happened," she insisted, frowning. "I stopped it before it could."

"That sounds a lot like something did happen," Tori pointed out. She didn't look at her.

"Okay," Tori folded her arms. "I'll just wait here until you stop being stubborn and just talk to me as you clearly need to talk to someone."

Jade wasn't sure she liked this Tori. The one who seemed to be able to read her mind and make her confront the feelings she was trying to escape from. She could feel her eyes on her and as much as she tried to focus on her schoolwork, she was failing miserably.

"Ugh fine," she gave up a few minutes later. "We kissed."

"You kissed?!" Tori almost choked on her drink. "What? How? Context please?!"

"It was a mistake!" She pinched the bridge of her nose. "He tried to take it further and I almost let him,"

"You almost let him?!"

"You're doing the irritating, repeating thing again," Jade groaned.

"Just tell me what happened!"

"I came to my senses and pushed him away from me. He told me he loves me and I lost my shit. I told him how I felt about him sleeping around. I yelled at him, I called him a whore. I told him I hate him-"

"Oh, Jade." Tori looked both horrified and a little proud.

"So yeah, if he's not my biggest fan right now that would be why.."

"Yeah, that'll do it." Tori sighed, processing all that information, "How did he react to it?"

"In the usual way," she sighed. "He barely reacted at all."

She didn't know why she expected anything different.

"Are you happy you finally told him off?" Tori asked curiously. She wished she was.

"I don't know." She shook her head. "I thought, it would make me feel better, but I feel like shit."

The guilt was eating her up inside even though rationally, she knew she had no reason to feel that way. She'd never had a problem insulting people or shouting at them or calling them out for their fucked up behavior. But it felt different doing it to Beck

"Do you still love him?" Tori asked sympathetically.

"Yes," she said it before she even realized what she was saying. "I mean no. Oh fuck, Tori how did you do that?"

Tori smirked. "There's a very fine line between love and hate. Where's your head at with all this?"

"I don't know," she shrugged, pain crossing her features. "I don't think I'm ready to forgive him yet."

Tori reached across and squeezed her hand. "You don't have to."