New chapter. In which Lila investigates the school's main bullies, and I have fun with Rome's dialect.
Chapter 04: Backstories Revealed
Lila had to admit, Chloè Borgeouis had picked her interest. Some rumors painted her as an unrepetant bully, others as some misunderstood heroine, and Ladybug clearly trusted her with a Miraculous, at least part time, even after the outburst that resulted in Antibug. And by what she had seen she could be both a stronza da paura and a more heroic individual. Worth taking a look into it. Some rumors she could already discard as fake due sheer implausibility, but the others deserved investigation.
During the lunch break Lila decided not to regale everyone with an "improved" tale of her travels and instead went in a bathroom, took out her phone, and called the contact marked as "0/9".
"How can this one serve you, Mistress?" came the overly sweet voice from the phone.
"You could start by cutting that out." Lila replied.
"But if it was a social call you'd send a mail and ask when I can come."
"For the hopefully last time – Wait, you're messing with me with the mistress thing."
"Yep."
"Whatever… Though you were right, I do need your help. You go at Kadic, right? I've heard about one of their students being expelled from François DuPont because of Chloè Bourgeois, and between what I've seen of her and the rumor about somehow controlling the police…"
"Do you need her Akumatized?"
"NO!"
"Then I may need until tomorrow, Wang is a reserved girl."
"I can wait. Thanks."
"Happy to help you."
Lila closed the call and sighed. That girl was smart and helpful, but could be a bit… Unhinged. Especially when she felt indebted to you.
At least she could trust her to get the girl to talk and find out what the truth was. In the meantime, she had the prelude to Rogercop to investigate… And she just happened to know someone who had almost certainly filmed it.
Lila had waited almost to the end of the lunch break to approach Alya with the request, to let her recover from being at ground zero of Bourgeois' rant. And at the right time she struck.
"So… I know Paris' law enforcement is completely independent from the mayor's office, something about the government deluding itself that they'll have an easier time the next revolution if the police is under their direct control, or so I've been told." Lila told her, getting the puzzled reaction she wanted from the blogger. And it was even true that they had explained her that way why Paris didn't have a city police. "So, do you know what actually caused Rogercop? I've read online that Bourgeois has supposedly got her father to fire that cop, but we both know it's not possible."
Alya blinked in obvious puzzlement before answering in an unexpected way: "Damn, I forgot. I'm sending you the video, watch it but don't spread it unless the cops take away my pass for Akuma incidents."
"The what?"
"Just watch it."
A few minutes later Lila had the video, and immediately went to watch it. It started in their class, with Marinette's father explaining his work to the class (clearly one of those horrid days parents are invited to talk about their job) when the door was suddenly opened, and in marched none else than Zoe du Moralle and someone she recognized from her mother's pamphlet about Paris' authorities, the Prefect of Police Bernard-René Jourdan du Moralle. That explained a fair few things.
"That's her, daddy! The bitch with the pigtails!" she said to the Prefect, confirming she was indeed his daughter and why they hadn't gotten rid of her yet.
"What?!" shouted Marinette and a few other voices, including a few adults (plus one that said something that sounded like a vulgarity in Mandarin).
"Officer, arrest that girl." the Prefect ordered, saying "girl" as if it was an insult (four out of ten, Lila could do better even before England, let alone the real experts).
"Wait, for what?" a fat and balding redheaded police officer (likely Raincomprix' father) standing near two women, an unknown that resembled Alya and the other being friggin' Anansi the kickboxer, asked as he came into view.
"She stole my daughter's bracelet."
"Is there any evidence? Wait, is-"
"Right, search her. Start with the purse, my daughter saw her put it there."
"肏你祖宗十八代!" came from outside the camera view, making Lila blush – she knew that one.
"Sir, there's no warrant, and-"
"Search that purse, or you're fired."
"But it's illegal! And-"
"You're fired. Out of my sight."
Raincomprix had a legitimate Surprised Pikachu face for a moment, then left dejected.
And as he closed the door the voice of the MINISTER OF INTERIORS was heard, from the mayor's cellphone. A mayor with an obviously fake smile standing at the side of his obviously furious daughter, who, by how she was holding her father's briefcase, may have been the one to actually call the Minister.
"Du Moralle, are you trying to trigger another revolution?" the Minister asked, deceptively calm.
"Er… No, Minister, but-"
The Minister cut him off with the third most well crafted sequence of insults Lila had ever heard, and she was from Rome and had lived in Jeddah. With not a single vulgarity, as a proper career politician should be able to do. Five minutes of detailed explanations describing how badly Du Moralle had messed up and how much he was endangering his job, also adding something Lila hadn't known about the guy.
"This is what you're going to do." the Minister said once he was done with the insults. "You are going to take back the firing. You are also going to promote him. And if you try and do anything else, I'm going to go all the trouble necessary to find a replacement before my hand is forced. Do you understand?"
"Yes sir."
"That bitch's recording!" Zoe cried out.
"It's not illegal." Alya's voice said. Correctly twice over, French privacy laws allowed to record things happening where there was no reasonable expectation of privacy and when you caught crimes happening, and she had been recording a police abuse in a place filled with security cameras. "And this is going to hit the web… Unless I get a pass for any Akuma incident."
"… Du Moralle, write her that pass." he Minister ordered while everyone looked at the Ladyblogger in shock. That explained why the cops let her walk in all Akuma attacks, though not how she talked her parents out of sending her to a boarding school or something else to keep her from throwing herself into deadly situations.
Then Rogercop walked in and the recording ended.
That recording explained a few things. Why everyone tolerated Chloè and nobody had stuffed Du Moralle in a thrashcan, for starters. Though not a few other things.
Then her friend at Kadic sent her a message asking to meet at the Jardin des Rosiers right after the lessons' end.
"Miss Wang, this is the Lila Rossi. Xiao Lilà, this is Wang Ka Wai, also known as Soqueline." her "interesting" ally presented, pointing at Wang's Savate boots when saying her nickname. "Have fun!"
"She grew up in the Central Plains of China, and picked up a few things." Lila explained as the madgirl left and she analized the girl and her looks, and especially how she had seemingly picked up Ladybug's hairstyle. She hoped it wouldn't be as enduring as Donna Volpe's in Italy…
"That explains a lot." Wang replied. "She said you wanted to know about Borgeouis?"
"More like decipher her. One moment she's sort of nice, the next she's not so, and her reputation paints her as a younger version of her mother. And I've been told you two have history together."
"Yeah. We were in the same school, got in the same circle, even with me being a year older, and she used to be a decent kid. Then she started acting like her mother, and after a while I ended up being the only one who could keep her and her two accomplices in check."
"Two accomplices?"
"Alix Kubdel used to be her best friend and sort of good conscience." An unexpected bounty – she had noticed Kubdel was something of a loner, but wasn't expecting her to be a former bully, or close enough. "Not that she was doing a good job – she couldn't stop Borgeouis from talk Le Chien into putting dead rats into Marinette's locker after she tried to confess to him."
"Ew." Well, that explained why Marinette stayed away from Kim unless she had back-up. She was surprised Marinette hadn't tried to destroy him, the girl was too nice for her own good.
"Yeah, ew. I was this close to execute a full Hyeong on him…" Hyeong was a term associated with Taekwondo and other Korean martial arts… And she wore Savate shoes. Better investigate that later. "Only reason I just stuffed him into a locker was that Marinette asked me otherwise. Got banned from the pool for a year, then the next day Borgeouis and her minions confronted me. It was just their usual idle threats, me replying they didn't scare me, then I remembered I had overheard Borgeouis bragging of her bullying at the phone with someone named Zoé, and I asked her if it was her girlfriend. Her look of disgust was incredible. Then she grabbed my fist and had Raincomprix shove her nose on it hard enough to break, and claimed I had attacked her."
Oh. That was… Extreme. And far smarter than she had come to expect from the blonde.
"Next I know my reputation's in tatters, I'm suspended for a month at less than two weeks from the end of the school year, and the only reason I wasn't expelled and got to transfer to Kadic is that Kubdel came clean to the principal and he called in a lot of favors, enough that both Borgeouis and the crazy one could hold their fathers as a threat against him. That's also when Kubdel left Borgeouis's gang, by the way."
"I see." And she did, at least in part. But she still had a thing to ask. "Any idea why she's obsessed with Marinette?"
"They used to be best friends once. Though I have no idea what triggered the break up…"
Oh. Better not investigare that for the time being, she wasn't suicidal enough to do that without a better protection than diplomatic immunity – Borgeouis seemed crafty enough to find ways around it if sufficiently angered.
The next day Lila returned to school musing on how she could use the new information for some admiration and peace when the answer was served to her on a silver platter by Du Moralle loudly demanding to know what was Rose doing with Juleka (that she called in a way Lila would bet was queerphobic, even if she didn't know the French slang yet). Apparently she was convinced Rose was cheating on Alì - as if it was up to him to choose his future brides.
Now, both Alya and Borgeouis had heard and Lila was sure the confrontation would be hilarious… But she was closer and there was a chance Juleka would get Akumatized before either of them could intervene if how she was shaking with anger was any hint, and on top of that she had no tolerance for such "people". Besides, she had been aiming to make a statement anyway.
"You do realize you're asking for trouble with such declarations?" she asked the little piece of shit as she walked in.
"You again?" Du Moralle replied. "And you still don't know who I am."
"Aside for the thing at Cheltenham? Funny that you say it, because I stumbled on who your father is. And he'd be quite the ornament if he didn't shit."
Silence. Was it for the audacity? Was it for the Lila Rossi, so wordly and refined, gracing everyone with a bit of the creative vulgarity one finds in Romano? Was it both? No matter, Lila had an opening and it was time to destroy the little shit.
"Your father is Bernard-René Jourdan du Moralle, Paris' Prefect of Police. And with your arrogance I was expecting someone important, like a Parliament member, a big businessman, a famous artist, a gangster, even an influencer with a hundred thousand followers that demands to stay for free at Le Grand Paris, not the guy who still holds a job because nobody wants it. Because I may not know why, but everyone at the Embassy knows that Bernie did something so incredibly stupid that the Mayor decided to ruin him and had somehow an easy time doing so, and the Minister of the Interiors was about to sack him when Paris got her very own superpowered terrorist and the job of Prefect became a punishment." There was a little lie there, the Minister in Alya's video had alluded at what got Borgeouis pissed, but she hadn't heard it from her mother. "The moment Ladybug and Chat Noir drag Papillon out of his hole is the moment being the Prefect of Police stops being a punishment, and that is when your father will be sacked. And now, you are like Mme Du Barry when she picked a fight with Marie Antoinette, flaunting a power that depends on someone whose days are numbered and picking a fight on someone whose potential power is far greater and more reliable. As we say in Rome, I could slap you so hard that when you come down your outfit won't be fashionable anymore – no, wait, it already happened. Well, I can still rip your legs and kick you with them and I'd get away with it." Lila saw the lesser blonde was fuming. Time to end it with a classic from closer to Paris. "I don't want to talk to you no more, you daughter of a silly person. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster, and your father smells of elderberries."
Three, two, one… Butterfly, as expected. Also as expected, Du Moralle accepted the bargain on the spot, and this time Lila was ready. As the magic oily bubbles covered the target, Lila dipped to the left and then rotated her torso right while moving her arm, and nailed her right in the liver. The bubbles dissolved, and Rose Bride appeared with her face in excruciating pain – a powerful liver shot could bring down any fighter, no matter how strong the armor of their abs was, and Zoe Du Moralle had none. Then the Akuma fainted, unable to handle the pain inherited from her previous form. And the best part, Alya had filmed everything, and it was going on the Ladyblog.
Then Raincomprix ran by and stole the Akumatized rose, in case the bitch recovered before Ladybug showed up. It was clear to Lila that it was her own idea, Borgeouis was having trouble grabbing the school stuff her friend had suddenly handed her – but considering their reputation, she was willing to bet that most would think the blonde had sent her to do her dirty work, shielding the redhead's father from retaliation. Good for the-Did Rose just pick the bitch and put her in a thrashcan?! Whoever's training her is indeed worth it, maybe they'll help her break past her bottleneck.
A stream of oily bubbles shining a physically (but not magically) impossible Black light covered Rose Bride for a moment before revealing Zoe Du Moralle, announcing that Sabrina had found Ladybug. Lila chuckled a moment, realizing she had stolen her thunder by complete accident, then decided to go to class – and found Ladybug herself, arms crossed and a frown on her cute face.
Notes
Fun fact: Paris didn't have its own police force between 1812 and 2021, as Napoleon abolished the Paris Municipal Guard after they got scammed into taking part in Malet's attempted coup. The job was eventually inherited by the Parisian garrison of the National Guard… That would reliably be on the revolutionary side in the July Revolution, the 1848 Revolution , and the Paris Commune before being abolished by the Third Republic. Up until 2021 law enforcement in Paris was handled by the Paris Prefecture of Police, a detachment of the STATE Police that reports directly to the Minister of Interiors… Meaning Andrè Bourgeois has no authority to fire, hire, or promote Roger Raincomprix.
As said above, the mayor of Paris has no authority over the Prefecture of Police… Leaving a gigantic plot hole in "Rogercop" that I'm filling with original characters Prefect Bernard-René Jourdan du Moralle, named after the last commander of the Bastille and the villainous Minister of Police in the old anime La Seine no Hoshi, and his bratty daughter Zoe.
Rome's dialect is (in)famous in Italy for both its concentration of vulgarities and the creativity of the actual insults. As for Jeddah it's a city in the Hejaz region of Arabia, and all variants of Arabic are creative enough to turn the word "shoe" in an insult.
Soqueline is not a French name, so I turned it into a footwear-related nickname (savate and soque are both types of shoe, though the former has become a martial art name) and gave her the name of Marinette's Cantonese voice actress.
I hear Alix, Chloè, and Sabrina were initially supposed to be a trio. Here, they once were.
Rose is ridiculously strong. Never forget it.