AN: Hi readers, here's one more. Enjoy!
Chapter 15 - Somewhere Over The Rainbow
Hailey wasn't alone.
A familiar, large, bulky man, with shock filled surprised eyes came walking towards her.
The last time she saw him, he was dead.
Wasn't he?
He was bleeding. They shot him and he was in a coma.
But that's not all she noticed. He was wearing such simple clothes. A hoodie and sweatpants, all in black. He used to wear a security outfit and look like someone who'd catch a bullet for you.
She froze at her own thought.
He once did catch a bullet.
And she didn't keep him safe.
"Emmett?" she said in a small voice. "What are you doing here?"
She didn't understand herself or how it was she dared to ask such a rude question.
Because obiously, he was here for-
"Oh, well, Edward asked- Didn't he say he texted me?" she heard Emmett say. It really was his voice. "You- You're outside."
He was pointing at her, and seemed at a loss of words.
But next he turned his head and stared in shock at his brother as he retch once more.
His scoff was deep as he shifted his eyes to his surroundings.
She kept her hand behind Hailey's ear, scratching it softly.
Emmett shook his head and looked away in shame.
"I wanted to ask you how you've been," he said. "Only to come to realize that's a terrible question to ask."
Confused.
Sad.
Seeing snippets of memories, dreams, and nightmares. She could answer how she'd been in so many different ways.
Asking her how she'd been, wasn't terrible.
It was perhaps something she wouldn't mind.
"How have you been?" she asked instead.
Emmett brought his pained eyes towards her.
"Oh," he said. He was quiet for some time, and that's when Bella realized he was at a loss for words.
"I'm sorry," she said.
He looked shocked and almost repulsed suddenly.
"I mean, I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable with my questions."
Emmett closed his eyes, and said, "No, you didn't. It feels strange to talk about how I have been and to hear you apologize after everything. You have nothing to apologize for, Bella. Nothing."
This was the second Cullen who told her tonight that she shouldn't apologize.
Only moment ago, Edward had said something similar to her.
Bella decided to tell Emmett he didn't need to talk about himself, when instead he quickly continued.
"Bella, you're my friend," he said. "Always were. I care about you. And I know you care about me too. You asked about me a lot when I was in a coma."
Flashbacks brought her back to the moment Emmett was shot and her hands were trying to stop the bleeding.
"You asked about me when you were... When you nearly died, Bella."
In her dying moments, she had felt terribly sad, but she couldn't quite remember her words - she knew she mentioned something about Emmett. She remembered faintly that Edward told her Emmett wasn't dead. That he was awake from his coma.
Her eyes welled up with tears and she bit her lip hard. But she couldn't help raising her eyes at Emmett and wondering how he knew.
"Edward told me," he elaborated, apparently noticing the unsaid question. "To answer your question, I've regained all my functions and memory. But that doesn't mean I'm alright. I wasn't able to sleep for weeks. I saw what they did to you in Edward's office."
She stopped breathing for a moment.
He saw? Everything?
She brought her eyes down as tears fell upon that realization.
"Even if they shot me, I was still conscious for a while. And I saw and heard what they did."
She couldn't help but feel ashamed. So much shame for what happened and how she couldn't save Emmett from that bullet.
She couldn't speak or move however.
"I'm in therapy for what I saw," he said in a quiet voice. "And on medication for anxiety and sleeplessness."
She looked up at the sky and looked for the brightest star.
She wished to be anywhere but here.
"And if I could do it over again, I would catch another bullet for you," he said, holding her eyes fiercely. "I'd die for you. You cared about me in your nearly dying moments."
Oh?
"And most of all, you gave your life and body to save my brother."
She shook her head, muttering, "No..."
"I'll repeat it to you every day, until you hear me, Bella."
Every day?
She kept shaking her head.
"How are you truly feeling, Bella?" he asked eventually.
She looked at the stars for a long time before saying, "I feel broken. My memories are cloudy. I can't tell what's real and what's not."
Emmett was again quiet for some time, until he said quietly, "You can ask us. Edward, or me. We'll tell you what's real and what's not."
She nodded a little as she remembered the two Cullen's brothers, arguing about her health and well-being.
She hated this moment so much.
And because Emmett told her she could ask him anything, she decided to ask him.
"Why did you and Mr C- Edward-," she said with difficulty his name, "not just let me slip and die?"
"What?" Emmett said with shocked eyes. "Bella, you're my friend. And above all, you saved my life. The least I could do, is save yours too."
"Save my life?" she said bitterly. "What life? I'm nothing to nobody. I can barely sit upright now, let alone walk. My entire body hurts. My lungs burn, my chest feels like it's on fire, my jaw feels broken and what really is confusing, is that my fingers hurt even though they are amputated. Can you explain why I feel pain in my fingers, but when I look at my hand, those fingers that hurt aren't even there?"
Emmett took a step back, shaking his head.
She froze at her own words and how she had raised her voice to an almost yell at Emmett.
"Bella, I never meant-"
"You should've left me to die," she said in conclusion.
Oh, God.
She would never be safe again.
Her eyes found the brightest start in the sky again. Something about the night was to some degree pleasurable. It gave her the opportunity to see the stars.
Slow breath in... slow breath out.
"Forgive me, Bella," he said, quickly walking off.
Emmett disappeared and never returned.
She glanced at Hailey, who was watching Bella with admiration.
She didn't understand why Emmett had fled. Did he not understand that this could possibly not be her life?
Wheelchair bound, weak, shattered mind, destroyed body-
"Phantom pain," she heard Edward say.
Carefully she glanced up at him, and noticed he was ashen as he sat where he previously sat as well.
He came back.
She didn't enjoy the limbo she was living in. It was confusing, frightening and very painful.
Mock.
The mock.
She was waiting for the mock to come.
The once upon a time cruel, mean, angry Mr Cullen.
He leaned down a little from his seated position. She dropped her eyes to not meet his.
Would he mock her?
She snuck a glance up at him.
But instead, he kept his eyes on her hand, resting still behind Hailey's ear.
It was her left hand, because she couldn't reach Hailey with her right hand.
He was looking at her left hand, the one that spontaneously hurt at times and was missing fingers.
She quickly stopped petting Hailey to hide her hideous hand, out of his sight.
And she felt more shame for her broken body.
Above all, she felt certain that she should have died.
She was better off dead.
"It's phantom pain, that pain you feel in your amputated fingers," he said with difficulty. "It isn't uncommon. They broke your fingers twenty-two times and the bones were shattered. And-"
He briefly stopped speaking, but she didn't dare to meet his eyes.
"And it was left unattented for quite some time."
She noticed, even in her current weakened state, that he chose his words with care.
"The nerves were damaged, which usually send normal pain signals to your brain. But with your nerve damage and amputated fingers, it only adds to more reasons as to why you developed phantom pain."
She could feel her body tense at the new information.
"It will pass most likely," he added.
She huffed.
Most likely.
She wasn't so sure.
That's why she was better off dead.
"I tried to think of any way for them to save your fingers but there was too much damage, the bones being shattered twenty-two fucking times and there was an untreated spreading infection. They said you're lucky they were able to save your hand with the spreading infection towards your other fingers."
Again, she wondered, why didn't they just let her die?
It would have saved everyone the trouble and her the pain.
Next he was silent for a long time.
As was she.
"I asked Emmett to pick up Hailey from my apartment and bring her over. Do you remember Hailey?"
There was no pretending that Hailey was here. She was real.
Maybe some of her dreams had been real.
Maybe her mind was too scared to admit the truth.
Maybe her mind tried to conceal itself from what once had been real.
Because maybe, it didn't matter anymore what was real and what wasn't real.
She had dropped her left hand over the wheelchair, trying to not see it or think of it.
It twisted her stomach each time she did.
As did the pain.
"I overheard your conversation with Emmett," he said. "Why we didn't let you slip into the mental health ward? Is that what you would have preferred?"
She hated how he asked her that question.
She remembered her countless nightmares and not just these past two months when she had been in and out of a come.
She was better off dead.
"I see v-vivid nightmares where-" she began in a tremble but with unknown anger inside her as well.
He kept his intense eyes on her at all times.
'Where you and James- you're torturing me- together," she said. "Often I'm on my knees, begging, begging you to stop- but- James is just- torturing me and you- you're mocking me. Always- you're mocking me."
Her eyes welled up instantly and she couldn't stop a few tears from falling.
He noticeably flinched.
"Is that what you prefer?" she asked him skeptically, the same question he asked her. "Do you want to be the protagonist of my fucked up memories and nightmares?"
Edward looked as if he might get sick again. She glanced around. She felt trapped sitting in this wheelchair, trapped in James' threat and trapped in her feelings currently all over the place.
"So what Hailey is real? You just used me. All you ever did was cause pain. You- were still- you. Abusing your power against me. Somehow seducing me into your apartment and-"
She shook her head, because despite everything, those moments in his apartment had been anything but cruel.
"Until- Until James was in my apartment. James knew everything as soon as he hacked into our phones and he could hear- everything- all our conversations. That's when he took over and held all power. There was nothing I could do against his threat. That's probably why he used the thumbscrew too. Because he was probably inspired by you and your choice of... your preference of that... device..."
She sighed loudly, realizing how tense she truly was upon speaking the truth.
"I was defenseless," she said. "Against you and James. And I couldn't talk to anybody. There was no one I could tell. Until I thought. Maybe if I'm dead, I'll be free. From him. From you too. I was- I was trapped. I had no where else to go "
Still, no other word came from Edward. But he wasn't running for the bushes again.
"No life at all- it's much better- much better than the one I'm in now. I thought my life was terrible before but yet I find myself in a life that's much, much worse. How is that even possible?"
Yet, there was nothing response from him what so ever. He only glanced away.
"Do you know why there was a bomb in the CC?" she asked, without waiting for his answer. "It was for leverage. To use the people in the building against me too, even if everyone in the CC talked bad about me. But I was responsible. I felt responsible for everyone in that building. I thought, maybe, before I die, I can at least try to do something good for other people and- and the building, itself."
She swallowed nervously.
"Because James mentioned you would never want any harm on the building. But he would harm it, he said. He would harm the building and he said that you wouldn't be happy with that. Because you care a lot about the building."
She wondered what it looked like now, after the bomb.
"I tried hard to stop it- but he still activated the bomb, didn't he? I think he did...but I'm unsure if it was just a nightmare."
Edward nodded.
And he spoke for the first time.
"It was real," he said.
Her heart dropped.
"Was anyone hurt?" she muttered.
"No one, except you."
"But that had nothing to do with the bomb," she said. "I was already hurt. I just decided I'd end it."
"Well, you almost succeeded, Bella."
"Why didn't you let me?"
There was pure accusation in her voice. And Edward watched her with just as much accusation back in the eyes.
"You know why," he spoke.
Money.
Edward was always about power, and money, and deals.
"Is it because you came to collect for the damage done to the CC?"
He blinked. "What?"
"You know I own nothing. All I have are- debts... and by now hospital bills... and I probably lost my apartment too... along with all my belongings..."
Her heart crashed upon realizing she had nothing.
She had nothing and nobody in her life.
"Bella, don't ever say that again. I'm begging you to never think again I want to take anything from you."
"It's what you did before... You took everything. Even my sanity."
"Bella-"
"But you cared about that building-"
"I quit caring about the CC or that building a long time ago."
She brought her eyes up to his. And she flinched upon seeing his eyes.
She nervously twitched with her right thumb tapping it against her second and middle finger. In the past she would play with fingers from both hands, but she tried still very hard to ignore her left hand.
He leaned forward towards her.
"At some point, James didn't want my documents and software no longer. He didn't care about rebuilding his company as it was already falling. He decided he enjoyed seeing you suffer and tortured. To see how long you'd last."
Bella shook her head in disbelief.
"But you surprised him with your plan," he said. "When you chose your suicide, he didn't see that coming. And that's why he shot himself. Because I would've taken his life myself and I would have made his death last for weeks. I would have built a torture chamber and kept him there for as long as he'd last. Him and all his friends who hurt you."
Bella suddenly felt sick.
"Stop," Bella said brokenly. "That's just so disgusting."
He sounded so cold. And it scared her.
"What do you want me to say, Bella? He sent me several video's before he killed himself. I can't stop seeing what I saw."
Bella felt like she might get even sicker now.
Because she could only imagine what the video's showed-
"Of the girl I was once with," he said in a clipped tone. "Same video he showed you that day."
"Oh-" she sobbed, remembering the images.
That's terrible.
"And you," he added quietly. "They recorded your torture in my office."
No.
They had it- on video? That's even worse.
No!
She was going to be sick.
"And a video of the day they broke your jaw," he continued.
"No," she whispered, unable to stop herself.
She shook her head, tears falling from her eyes against her will.
"He's a sadist," he eventually said. "A manipulative, fucking sadist. He destroyed everything."
"But you didn't look-" she said in shame, her eyes reaching to his nervously. "Did you watch those video's?"
He scoffed. "I watched the video's every day several times until today- until you finally woke up today."
She froze.
Who in his right mind would repetitively watch video's of torture?
Who?
"Why?" she whispered in shame.
"I watched them to count how many fucking times they broke your fingers," he said.
She flinched, realizing that he knew her fingers were broken twenty-two times, was because he watched the video and counted.
"I watched them because I want to fucking scream at you why you didn't tell me the truth," he said in a deadly calm voice.
She very much preferred to leave now.
"I want to know why the fuck you felt the need to protect me?"
His calmness suddenly feared her. It seemed worse than mock.
She didn't know much about torture. But watching someone be tortured was just as terrible as being the victim of it.
She shook her head again, trying to rationalize, trying to find her voice.
His tone suggested he demanded an answer from her.
"I thought-" she said with tears in her eyes. "James would've hurt you-"
"What about you?" he said in a hard voice.
Her body jerked at his tone.
Definitely not mock.
"What about your pain?" he continued. "What the fuck about you?"
"No," she said, shaking her head. "What if he killed you-?"
"I didn't need your protection, Bella! I didn't fucking want it."
"I'm sorry," she sobbed. "I thought- I was- I don't know!'
"Don't you fucking dare apologize to me! I told you before. I don't ever want your fucking sorry."
Why did his voice sound so raw with pain?
She sobbed.
Because he was screaming angrily at her for something she apparently did wrong.
"Can't you see? Can't you see the only protection I needed was from this? To see you like this? To see you broken in pieces."
She sobbed only harder.
Because he was still screaming at her.
"I'm sorry," she said accidentally.
He threw his head in his hands and balled his hands into fists.
"He tortured you in my office, while recording it," he said. "You should've told me. Instead, you kept silent. You let me abuse you and hurt you. You allowed all that fucking pain, just for my protection?"
She opened her mouth several times, but no word came out. Her mind was blank and frozen.
He watched her with several emotions running across his face.
He was accusing her and blaming her? For protecting him?
Edward rubbed his fingers against his temple for a long amount of time.
"I'm sorry I failed to protect you," she sobbed.
He turned to her with a glare. "Don't."
It sounded like a threat.
"I am still sorry."
"You protected me perfectly, Bella," he snapped. "I'm not a torture victim, thankfully to you."
His voice was dripped with sarcasm.
"James never touched me. You made sure of that. You made sure to listen to everything he told you, so James wouldn't torture me. You listened to every threat-"
And she did.
She listened to every threat.
Because she remembered one more threat.
Worst of all- a terrible one.
She remembered one more thing she'd forgotten.
"I was safe," he said. "Under your protection."
She remembered something so, so terrible- something James used against her.
It was a threat that scared her most too.
An evil, sadistic threat that came with a sick laugh from a sick James.
"You paid that price with your body and your life," Edward continued. "You protected mine with yours."
He watched her sharply. Angrily, even.
He was blaming her.
For believing James?
She wanted this conversation to end.
But as always-
"We made a deal," she said tiredly. "Right?"
"What?" he said with a deep scoff.
"You said before you brought me outside that after today, no more secrets between us. And then, you can go. And finally be free of me. As that is what you apparently want. So why don't we just get it over with, alright?"
She took a deep breath.
"That day in your office-" she started slowly.
That day on her knees.
Again she remembered that terrible threat.
The one Edward didn't know of yet.
"There's something else," she muttered. "I remember something else. About why I let you treat me like that in your office..."
She took a deep breath.
"James told me to obey him," she said him with tears in her eyes. "Or else..."
"I know, you said that already," Edward said in a hard voice.
Her voice got caught in her throat, because no, he didn't know everything yet.
She shook her head.
"He threatened you with my long, agonizing death," he said pointedly. "If you didn't obey him. That has nothing to do with how I chose to bring you to my office, force you on your knees and-"
He abruptly stopped.
"That's not how it went," she muttered, her eyes downcast.
"You had jaw surgery and I used your mouth, to fucking hurt and humiliate you, Bella," he snapped.
She sat frozen.
"Do you remember that?" he spat.
When he didn't stop staring at her, she nodded a little to confirm she did.
She kept her eyes downcast as he next spoke.
"Because that's on me. Not James. And certainly not on you. And because I used your mouth that day, your jaw didn't heal correctly and they had to rebreak and wire it shut completely to heal. That's why your jaw still hurts. I overheard your conversation with Emmett. I heard you say your entire body is aching."
She let him get angry.
He probably needed it for what she was about to say.
"I was a sadist that day," he said. "As were my thoughts."
His voice carried authority.
It forced her to look up.
To notice how dark his eyes were.
"You're not," she said.
"Are you purposefully trying to anger me?" he asked in disbelief.
She shook her head.
Even though perhaps, the answer was yes.
"Do you want me to tell you what I was thinking?"
She nodded.
His eyes narrowed, and he shook his head.
"I enjoyed it," he said. "Seeing you, below me, choking, having trouble breathing and following all my commands."
"Because you thought I was working for James," she said, tears falling from her eyes and hurt filling her heart.
"I enjoyed seeing you hurt," he continued. "And hurting you the way I did."
The flashback brought her back which she detested, but still...
Still...
This was actually much harder than she anticipated.
But everything Edward did, was because of James. He just didn't know it yet.
She needed to know his thoughts.
Because that was the deal, right?
Edward wanted there to be no more secrets between them after today.
"Your back was against the wall and you had no place to go," he said. "No way of escape, no air, mouth forced wide open and taking- you didn't fucking stop me. Your eyes were burning red from how fucking hard I thrust inside your mouth. You gagged most of the time. You choked when I told you to swallow. You hated ever second of it and I only continued."
She didn't take his eyes off him.
"I'm glad you did what you did," she said, her voice shaking hard.
He stared at her in obvious disgust.
He was repulsed.
"I'm glad you were terrible to me that day. I'm glad you hated me so much- that you were so emotionless that day."
She was even more repulsed.
"Because James would have done much, much worse if I didn't let you," she confessed. "He told me to seduce you to use me."
His eyes darkened upon her words.
"Don't," he said slowly, in a low voice.
His eyes filled with several emotions and she wondered if he knew what she was about to say, before she even said it.
She hated that she had to say the next words out loud.
But Edward needed to know that he wasn't a monster like James.
She was filled with shame upon her next words.
"He said he'd rape me if I didn't let you. He threatened me, so that's why I never stopped you."
He dropped his hands in his face between his knees.
She could hear his breaths come out hard and forcefully.
"He said I wouldn't be able to walk for a long time after he and- his men, were finished with me."
It had been a threat that had often made her sick.
"He said I'd feel him inside me for weeks from how hard he'd fuck me- and use me-"
She couldn't say it as she choked, and she couldn't speak no more.
There had been vulgar, explicit words.
Much more vulgar than those that Edward had used.
"James was the real sadist. He'd say things that gave me so many vivid nightmares. What you did was really nothing compared to what James would have done."
"Fucking stop! You didn't seduce me. I used you, because I wanted to. That's not something James had any control over."
He didn't think she seduced him?
"And one more thing, Bella, James could've never tortured me to death. I was covered all the time. I had protection from bodyguards, several live trackers on me, my car, and I always carried a gun. He lied to you and you believed him."
And Edward blamed her again.
And it broke her heart all over.
Why didn't he believe her?
Her mind took her to terrible nightmares, that had once been her biggest fear. And now that she saw them, she couldn't stay silent.
"At least they didn't rape me the way they would have!" she said, starting to sob and placing her hand on her mouth to stop her trembling.
She could remember it clearly how he'd told her in detail what he'd do to her.
"With- devices- objects too- cutting me- fucking me with sharp objects... Forcing my mouth open with- with- gagging objects- using me all night- in the weekend, so you wouldn't notice my absence- telling me all the details-"
She barely recognized Edward's presence anymore in the here and now.
She was back in his office and she was back in time when James' threat was still valid.
"You're not supposed to find out that James- that he- he'll kill you..."
Why was it so hard to breathe?
Her heart was pounding and her mind was a mess.
"Bella, James is dead, remember-?"
Oh, he was...
Yet...
He would come for her now.
James was going to come to torture her-
And torture Edward-
And she had failed to protect him-
And there was a bloodbath-
She was choking in her own blood-
Edward appeared before her, just a mere inch away from her face, his breath hot on her face.
Both his hands covered her face and forced her head up.
"Look at me, Bella," he said in a hard voice.
She was trembling too hard to be able to look at him.
"Come on, Bella, please breathe!" he said, some demand yet desperation too in his voice.
And that's when she remembered again, that he- Edward, was yet again just a cruel man.
He was terrible.
She was better off dead.
"Why won't you believe me?" she cried, his warm hands a false comfort. "Why are you blaming me for everything that happened to me? Even if you had your bodyguards and if he truly threatened me with a lie, he still threatened to rape me! I know you stopped caring about me, but why are you blaming me for believing him? You weren't there!"
He watched her with shock filled eyes, his lips parting to speak.
"T-That same day in your office," she said quickly, "they came and tied me up against your desk and tortured me. The used the same thumbscrew- the one you gave me- the one you were supposed to use on James, before I told you that was a dealbreaker- I was s-so scared- I thought they were going to rape me- in your office- after they tortured me, I thought- the pain was unbearable and Emmett was shot and they kept breaking my finger over and over and over-"
"I'm a fucking idiot-," Edward began.
"If you hadn't done what you did of if you had gone soft on me, he'd have done it, he really would have-"
"You're not in my office anymore. Look at me, Bella."
She was back in front of the hospital and back with Edward under a sky full of stars.
And she was back in his office
The panic was still inside her.
Fear, anguish, pain and vivid images.
"I had to listen to James," she said between gasps. "I had to do everything- and in your office, I couldn't stop you, I couldn't-" she shook her head, "because he'd have done so much worse to me. I didn't stop you, because- I couldn't stop you- I didn't care that I was choking and my jaw was hurting and you were humiliating me, because James- he-"
"Hush, Bella, please come back to me-"
"But eventually they still hurt me and punished me- because my phone died because I forgot to charge it after you used me in your office- because I felt so d-disgusting, like a whore, and my jaw hurt and felt- I was so soar. I knew something was wrong with my jaw, but I just ignored it and before I knew it, Emmett was dead and they started hurting me. I was so scared-"
"Please, Bella, it's over-" she heard him faintly say, his voice nearly begging.
She hadn't been safe.
"It's not over, not in my head. I didn't want to feel other men inside me. I'd rather you- have you- then them, those other men- then they hurt my hand- and I was scared they would take me- for hours- torture me during- rape- I had to choose who would hurt me and I chose you. And I know- I know that's a messed up thing to say but I didn't have a choice, I was left with just those two options. Them. Or you. But then, you appeared in my nightmares and you tortured me there- sometimes with James- sometimes rape, too- horrible nightmares... so real... I keep feeling James inside me. He's always inside me- and I'm tied up and I've nowhere to go-"
She couldn't breathe.
"And then, you suggested... you suggested I'd be better of dead. And it's the best thing I heard in a long time. The best thing... was to die."
Death.
She noticed those green eyes again.
She felt his warm hands, still holding her head, touching her cheeks.
Her panic decreased.
And suddenly she felt absolutely nothing. She was empty again, dead inside.
Much as well be dead on the outside as well.
"That's why I'd better be off dead," she said quietly. "There's nothing left of me."
She was shaking.
Or was he shaking?
She felt his hot breath on her face again.
"Bella, did they?"
She shook, her body shook, and she was feeling his hand, but at the same time wished this to be a nightmare so it could disappear.
"Did they rape you?" he asked insistently.
"I already told you, but you don't believe me-"
He watched her with different emotions on his eyes.
"You told me- when?"
"You don't believe anything I tell you," she said, shaking his hands away from her face.
He retreated, his stance tight.
"But I told you everything you wanted to know," she continued. "So I suppose, we should part ways now."
"You haven't yet," he said sharply. "You didn't tell me whether they raped you."
"I did," she said slowly, pointedly. "But you don't believe me."
"Can you please just answer the question, Bella?" he said. "Please."
"They didn't rape me," she said. "Because you did."
He froze and clenched his fist, pressed against his lips.
"They would have raped me, but I- I chose- well, I suppose I seduced you, or more like irritated you, or activated the monster inside you-"
"Fuck-" he muttered, so lowly she barely heard him.
"Because I had to choose, between them, or you."
He was ashen again and his body shook.
"They would have tortured me during sex," she continued, tears falling from her eyes again. "At least all you did, was use my mouth."
She felt terrible, saying it again.
"But I'm glad you did what you did and I'm glad you hated me so much- that you were so emotionless that day. And that you used me. It's the only thing that stopped James. It's very little control I had."
And he probably didn't believe her again.
"And it's fine if you don't- that you don't believe me. And I don't have anymore secrets. Now you know everything. Everything that was going on between James and me."
She found his eyes after a while. They were less angry, less strict and less dark.
"I believe you," he said.
Three words, very short, very powerful and they altered Bella's brain in that moment.
"You do?" she asked uncertainly.
He brought his head side ways and looked away from her.
He looked like he wanted to explode at the universe.
"Of course I do," he said. "James was a mastermind. He manipulated you and he indirectly manipulated me too."
His belief, his words, they provided some comfort to Bella. Because it meant she hadn't fought for nothing.
"But you were better," he said. "You outsmarted him. Even though no one should ever have to pay the prize with their own life."
"My life means very little."
He pressed his lips against each other hard. "Bella, do you want to get out of here?"
"What?"
"I want to show you something."
"Where?"
"About a thirty minute drive."
He didn't tell here where.
So she asked a different question.
"Why?"
He stood up and started to push her wheelchair further away from the hospital and towards the parking lot.
"Because this isn't the end," he said form behind her. "This isn't your end, or our end."
"I- I don't understand."
"What I'm saying is that I won't let James rule our future, okay?"
"I still have no idea what you're talking about."
"I just want to show you something, Bella," he said. "Is that alright?"
She preferred to get away.
But where else could she go? Back to that hospital?
An apartment she probably no longer had?
"I have no where else to go, so fine."
Once seated in the car, her body crashed. She was exhausted.
Edward pushed her backseat down, which had her in a near lying position.
And in fact, it was very comfortable.
"Sleep a little," Edward said. "Perhaps when you wake, the world is a better place."
She highly doubted it.
"Didn't peg you for an optimist," she muttered sleepily.
She quickly fell asleep, but did hear his final words in a far away dream.
"My world became a better place today."