A Chance for a Better Life
Chapter Seven
Danny had only been home a month, and it wasn't what he thought it would be like. He'd gotten a job at the same restaurant as Joe, and the job itself was okay. He knew it wasn't what he wanted to do for the rest of his life. He was waiting for the academy to start. He wanted to be able to start and what he wanted most was Jamie cheering him on at graduation. He'd never met another kid who was more focused on school than Jamie was.
Joe was focused on school and had even been trying to get Danny to take a few classes. School was important to Jamie, and Joe thought by doing well himself that he was honoring Jamie. Work was work and now that Danny was there it got more interesting. Joe was waiting tables, while Danny was bussing them.
Erin was working towards graduation and like Joe was focusing on school. She missed Jamie every day. It was weird without him in the house. She tried to spend as much time at the hospital as she could, but it was hard. Erin was struggling with family and the fact that it was her senior year. She was jealous of Danny and Joe that their senior years were normal. Danny had been quick to remind her that his senior year wasn't normal. Jamie had just come to live with them, and they were under house arrest to keep Jamie and all of them safe.
Frank was dealing with a lot at work, being a Sergeant had a lot of work behind the scenes that he was still figuring out. The only thing that he liked about the work was that a majority of it could be done at work or in the hospital. It had been a month since Jamie's diagnosis, and they were trying to find the new normal.
Mary was struggling. She didn't know how she was handling everything. She'd stopped volunteering. She vowed that she wouldn't start back again until Jamie could go with her. She hated seeing Jamie in so much pain. The cancer was bad enough, but the treatment was even worse, and she knew that it was only going to get worse. She was worried about Jamie. He was a child who isolated himself, and this just emphasized loneliness. She knew Joe was trying to spend any time he could with Jamie, but he was missing interaction with kids his own age.
Henry had opened up a substantial amount of time in his very busy calendar to spend time with Jamie. He'd been isolating himself too, and no one understood why. The family was worried that with Jamie being sick it reminded him that Betty was gone, without knowing he was happy Betty hadn't lived to see this. He knew if she had it would've brought back bad memories and broke her heart. Henry had been spending two or three nights a week with Jamie in the hospital and he was always with Jamie during Sunday dinner. Jamie always picked what they would eat in hopes that he would eat.
It was two days before Jamie's birthday and Henry had volunteered to sit with Jamie during his treatment because he knew Mary needed a break. This was Jamie's fifth treatment of the month, and they were hoping that this treatment would move Jamie into remission so they could move into the second phase. The entire family had spent more time in the hospital than they ever imagined they would, but it was worth it to keep Jamie's spirits up.
"Jamie, I know today's going to be hard, but I know you're strong enough to beat this."
"I know the medicine helps me get better. I just miss being at home. I miss school."
"I know. We want you home too, but you have to get better first. We don't want to bring you home too early and have something bad happen." That was Henry's biggest fear.
"Grandpa, I'm happy that you're here, but don't you have more important things to do? The city of New York does depend on you." Jamie tried his best to smile.
"You're more important and New York can wait. I'll get everything done. You don't need to worry about me."
"You've been sad since I got sick. Are you afraid that I'm going to die?"
Henry loved how observant Jamie was, but right now he hated it. Jamie's always been a realistic child. He's had no choice. "I am afraid that you're gonna die but I'm hopeful that all of this medicine and time in the hospital mean that you're getting better."
"I don't want to die, but I'm not afraid either."
"You're very brave." Henry couldn't say the same thing. He'd lived a long life and death still scared him. He hoped someday he'd get the same level of understanding that Jamie had, but he wasn't there yet. "Jamie, if I tell you a secret, will you promise to not tell anyone else."
"I promise."
"Your dad had an older brother. His name was Peter Christopher Regan. He died when he was eighteen months old. He had leukemia."
"I'm sorry." Jamie didn't know what else to say.
"You're dad doesn't know. No one does. Your grandmother never wanted your dad to mourn someone he'd never met before."
"I'm sorry Dad never got to know him, and that he didn't get to grow up."
"You have nothing to be sorry for, but I do want you to promise me something."
Jamie had an idea what the question was going to be. He just hoped he didn't have to make a promise he might not be able to keep. "What?"
"Fight for yourself, this family, and the uncle that you never got to know. I won't ask you to make a promise you can't keep, but I will ask you to fight really hard, and when you're struggling talk to someone."
Jamie smiled. "I promise."
As they sit quietly, Henry notices Jamie is sweating. He'd fallen asleep a little while earlier. The nurse came over and let Henry know that Jamie's temperature was up enough that they were going to stop the treatment for today. Henry could immediately see the concern on her face.
A few minutes later Henry was asked to leave Jamie's room so a doctor could attend to him. His fever still hadn't gone down. They were trying to determine if he had an infection and how bad it might be. Visitors were going to be limited, and Henry had to make the terrible call to his son and daughter-in-law.
A half an hour later they both arrived worried and looking for answers.
"What do you know pop?" Frank asked knowing Mary was too afraid.
"They're pretty sure he has an infection. They're trying to find out how bad and what kind, and they'll get him started on some medicine. They're limiting visitors because of the infection."
"How is Jamie?" Mary questioned and worried. She never wanted him to be alone and afraid ever again.
"He fell asleep towards the end of his treatment, and I noticed he was sweating. I don't know if he's woken up yet or not." Henry felt bad that he didn't know more. He understood their fear.
Danny was going to spend some time with Jamie that afternoon. Spending time with Jamie had new meaning for the entire family because they all had their own fears if he would still be there the next time, they made it to the hospital.
"What happened?" He looked to his parents and grandpa. His parents weren't supposed to be at the hospital. His grandpa had the shift before his.
"Jamie's got an infection. They're trying to figure it out so they can get him the right medicine." Frank explained seeing the same fear mirrored on Danny's face that was on his own.
"Does this mean that he won't be home for spring break?" Danny had made plans. It was going to be him, and his little brothers and they were going to watch movies, eat junk food, go to the park and throw the football, and just do the things that they used to do before he left. Something normal. Danny frowned.
"Honestly Danny, I don't think he'll be coming home for a while yet. The doctor told me that they are going to limit visitors because of the infection." Henry was hoping and praying that Jamie would get to come home someday. When he left him, he didn't look very good.
"I was just hoping he'd be home for a bit. He's been stuck in here since I got home."
"Danny we all want him home. But we need to know that he's healthy enough to be home and he's not yet." Mary paused wiping away tears. "Hopefully soon."
The waiting continued for another couple of hours. Joe and Erin arrived at hospital to join the rest of the family, and Joe brought food. He had no idea when his parents or grandfather had last eaten. Although food was the last thing on their minds, and they all had to encourage each other to eat.
Finally, a doctor came out. He looked grim, and their breaths caught in their throats.
"Doctor, how's Jamie?"
"He has a bad infection. We're giving him an antibiotic, something for his fever, and we've also given him something to help him sleep. We'll be monitoring him very closely, and until things improve, he can only have two visitors. We want to limit his exposure to other infections as much as we can. When you go into visit him a nurse will help you get ready. He's been moved to the ICU."
"Can I see him now?" Mary asked, for the first time unsure of Jamie's future.
"Yes, Sergeant Reagan, do you want to see him as well?"
"Yes." Frank shared Mary's fear but was trying to be strong for her at the same time.
"Please follow nurse Kinsley. She'll get you taken care of."
Frank holds Mary's hand tight. He knows that she's feeling the same fear that he is. Nothing is said as they follow the nurse to a new area of the floor.
"Grandpa, why is this happening to Jamie? Hasn't he had enough to deal with in his life." Joe was scared, and his fear was coming out as frustration.
"I don't know, but I think Jamie's strong enough to beat it. This is just a small setback."
"Really pop, a setback. We can't even see him. Mom and Dad are the only ones that are even allowed to see him." Danny wasn't hiding his anger at the situation. Not that he ever did hide his anger.
"When you do think we'll be able to see him again, pop?" Erin wanted to see him sooner than later. She had to know he was okay.
"I have no idea. We have to wait for the doctors to tell us. We don't want to see him before his immune system is strong enough for him to be around us." Henry looked to all three of his older grandkids. "We need to be strong for your parents too. This is hard on them too."
"This is hard on us too. He's our baby brother." Joe cried.
"As soon as your parents come back out let's go home and figure out things that we can do to support them and Jamie."
"Your house or mom and dad's?" Danny asked. Linda was working. It was supposed to be his night with Jamie.
"Your mom and dad's. Would you boys be willing to stay there until Jamie's doing better, that way with the four of us someone will always be home if Jamie, or they need something." Henry was trying to work through all the possible scenarios of what could happen.
"Yeah, I'll stop by my place and grab some clothes and stuff before I head over. I don't have to work for the next few days, and I only have two more classes before spring break starts." Joe didn't want to leave the hospital. He didn't want to do anything but see Jamie.
"I'll do the same and stop by Kings and let Linda know I'll be staying at the house for the next few days. I have to work tomorrow night, but I'll be at the house when you need me." Danny was worried for his entire family.
A half an hour later Frank made his way back to the waiting room. He was trying to hide his tears. He needed to be strong for his family.
"How is he?"
"It's bad. He's really sick." Frank paused, trying to decide if he was going to tell them the rest. "It's bad enough that they're letting both of us stay around the clock, and Pop, I'm putting in for some time off tomorrow."
"Let me know what you want, and I'll take care of it. Stay here with your son where you belong. I'll be back in the morning with breakfast. The boys and I are all staying at the house. Just call there, and there will always be someone available if anyone wants anything."
"Thanks pop. Put in two-weeks. I think I'm gonna want to spend some time with Jamie when he's feeling better."
"That sounds like a good idea. If, you, Mary, or Jamie need anything else let me know."
Over the next few days, Henry, Danny, and Joe all take turns bringing his parents food. Erin packed up two weeks of clothes for her mom, and she was bringing her mom sweet treats, anything else she wanted or needed. Erin hated seeing her parents so tired and sad.
Monday morning came, and Erin went to school. She was in charge of picking up Jamie's assignments each week. She hated that she couldn't take it too him and sit and do her homework while he worked through his.
"Hi Mrs. Mason. Do you have Jamie's assignments?"
"Yeah, although next week, he'll have finished the year."
"You mean he's a month ahead?" Erin wasn't surprised but she was a little jealous.
"Yeah, that first week your mom asked me if I could give him anything to work ahead. I had the next month planned. Jamie's an exceptional child."
"He is." There wasn't any denying that he was, she just hoped that her kids would get meet him and she wasn't telling them stories about him.
"Erin, what's wrong?"
"You won't be getting this back right away. Last week wasn't a good week." Erin couldn't stop her tears.
"Is Jamie, okay?"
"I don't know, I haven't seen him since last Wednesday."
"Is there anything we can do?"
Erin took a deep breath. "Just pray."
"We've already added Jamie to our daily prayers. Everyone misses him. He makes a big impact. Erin, please let me know if I can do anything to help."
"I will thank you. I'll bring it back once he's able to complete it."
"Erin, can you come back on Friday?"
"Yeah."
"I'll have the rest of Jamie's work for the year. I'd love if he could turn it in himself, but he as long as it's turned in before school starts next year, he'll be good."
"Thank you!"
Erin drove home, she held her tears back until she was parked. Joe was the resident Reagan, and he saw her drive up. Ten minutes later she still hadn't come in the house.
"Erin, are you okay?"
She shook her head no. She was trying to wipe her tears. She didn't want anyone to see her cry.
"Want me to get in or do you want to get out?"
"Let's go inside." Erin didn't want the entire block seeing them and have it get back to her mom how upset she was.
Ten minutes later Joe had Erin sitting in the living room with a box of tissues.
"What happened at school?"
"School was fine. It was after school."
"Erin, please talk to me. Talking to each other is important."
"Jamie's teacher…" The tears started again.
"Did she say something? Mom, worked everything out with the school when everything started."
"No, she didn't. She told me how exceptional he is, and that he's a month ahead."
"I'm not surprised. We've thought the same thing about Jamie since mom and dad brought him home three years ago. He's gonna keep being exceptional, and brave, and he's, my hero."
"Joe, he could die. I don't want Jamie to die." Erin was yelling. She was sad and angry.
"Neither do I." Joe yelled back.
At the hospital their parents were finally getting some good news. It had been a long week of nothing but bad news, and constantly watching their child suffer.
"Frank, Mary, Jamie's doing better this afternoon. His fever has finally gone down, and it looks like we found the right medicine to beat the infection. In the next couple days, we'll move him back into his regular room."
"When can more of the family see him, they've all been very worried." Mary asked knowing everyone needed to see him with their own eyes.
"Let's see how he's doing tomorrow morning. Having some more visitors will help him mentally, but again we don't want him to get too excited or expose him to more germs than necessary."
"Can they bring him some of his favorite foods? Perhaps that will entice him into eating some more." Frank was worried about how much weight Jamie had lost that week.
"That is a great idea. If you want to pick one person to bring him dinner tonight, I think that would be okay. I'll let the nurse know that Jamie will be allowed one new visitor tonight."
Frank and Mary both smiled. Now to who to choose.
"Thank God. Do you think Joe has time to make Jamie's favorite mac and cheese?"
"Mary, I think he'll be happy to. Why don't you take a break and head home for a while. I'll stay with Jamie. Maybe he'll be awake for more than ten or fifteen minutes."
"Ok, but only because I'm exhausted. Sleeping in our bed for a bit sounds good. I'll have Joe bring me back with dinner."
Frank was relieved. He was beginning to think that he was going to be planning a funeral soon. When he got back to Jamie's room, he had the biggest smile on his face. His little boy was reading. He hadn't read or done anything other than sleep for the last sleep and even though Frank knew that was what he needed it was still hard to see.
"How are you feeling?"
"Okay, when can I go back to my other room? This one is boring." Jamie looked around at the big glass wall and white walls. There was one other chair, but the rest of the room was filled with scary but necessary lifesaving equipment.
"As long as you keep feeling better in a day or two. Are you hungry?"
"A little." Jamie lied. He wasn't hungry, but he knew that answer would make his parents unhappy.
"I'll get the nurse to bring you, a snack, and if you can eat all of that, someone might bring you something really good for dinner tonight."
"Can I have fruit?"
"Will you be okay alone while I get the nurse?"
"Yeah dad, I'm fine. Did mom go home, she looked tired."
"Yes, she did, and I'm probably going to go home when she comes back later."
"When do you have to go to work?"
"Not until next week."
Jamie cocked his head to the side and gave him a funny look. His dad never took time off. Things must have been bad. Jamie was slowly figuring out what happened.
"Don't worry Jamie. It's all okay now." Frank smiled.
"So, it was bad if you took time off work. I'm sorry I'm so much trouble."
Frank just looks at Jamie, and knows that he's not any trouble, but his past gets into his head. It's one reason why since Jamie's been in the hospital, they've all been very attentive to not leave him alone for any long periods of time. They worry that Jamie will think he's too much trouble and they would abandon him.
"Jamie, you are not any trouble. You didn't ask to get sick or get the infection. You have no control over this, and nothing to be sorry for."
"You don't wish you never adopted me?"
"Never, if anything I'm happy we did adopt you because of this?"
"Why? If you hadn't adopted me, you could be focusing on Erin, getting her ready for graduation and Columbia next year."
"Because if we didn't adopt you, we'd have no idea what would be happening with you. We love you Jamie, and we just want you safe and healthy."
"I'd probably be dead already if you didn't adopt me." Jamie paused. He'd had that thought a few times since he'd gotten sick. "Thank you for loving me."
He and Mary had that thought several times since he found Jamie that terrible morning. "I'm going to get you some fruit. I'll be back." Hearing Jamie say that same thought was hard to hear. He needed a moment.
Jamie went back to reading his book. He knew it'd been bad, but he was actually feeling a little better than he had in a long time, and he got confirmation that they really did love him, despite all of this.
Ten minutes later Frank comes back with a big bowl full of strawberries, grapes, raspberries, and melon. Jamie's face lit up when he saw it.
"Thank you! That looks so good."
"Eat what you can okay. I already know that mom is working on getting you a good dinner."
Jamie eats the fruit slowly. He'd been told to eat slowly so he has a smaller chance at getting sick. Something he remembered and was familiar to him.
"When do I get to see Joe, Erin, Danny, and grandpa again?"
"In a couple days. They don't want you to get sick again."
"Okay. I can't wait until I can go home and sleep in my own bed."
"Me too. I can't wait until the entire family is at home."
"I'm not going back to school this year, am I?"
"No, but Erin will keep getting your work, and when you feel good enough you can work on it. I know that you won't fall behind."
"Ok. I guess the next time I go to school I'll be in middle school."
"Yes, and we'll make sure that you are more than ready, but you know that things won't quite go back to normal right away."
"I know. It could be years before I get to run and do the things other kids get to do. I'm okay as long as I get to graduate." This thought made Jamie think about Erin graduating and knew that he was probably going to miss it.
"What Jamie?"
"Erin graduates this year. I'm gonna miss it."
"There's still two months until she graduates. We don't know what will happen, yet."
Frank and Jamie kept talking while Jamie ate his fruit. Frank was happy that Jamie had been awake for so long. He still had the oxygen tubing on his face, and a lot of wire coming out of him, but he was awake and having a conversation.
Back at the house Mary had just woken up from a nice two-hour nap. After Erin had stopped crying Joe challenged her to a game of basketball. They'd been playing ever since. They both needed to do something fun and relieve some stress. They'd never heard Mary come home.
"Hey guys. You've been out there a while. Want something to drink?"
"Mom! What are you doing home? Is Jamie, okay?" Erin spit out the question faster than Mary or Joe could stop her.
"Mom, he is okay, right?" Joe asked calmly after Erin finished.
"He's doing a lot better. So good that your dad and I felt that one of us could leave the hospital. Jamie was awake, and his fevers gone down. It's not gone, but it's going in the right direction." Mary smiled.
"When can we see him?" Erin was anxious again.
"It will be another day or two, the doctor wants to make sure that he doesn't get another infection."
"Mom, there's more, what is it?" Joe was afraid that something was wrong that she wasn't telling them.
"Your dad and I requested that you make Jamie's favorite mac and cheese for dinner tonight, and we need you to make three plates." Mary paused to watch her children's faces for a second. "And you get to bring Jamie his plate yourself. The doctor has approved it." She smiled.
"Give me an hour and we can head back to the hospital. I guess you're staying tonight and dad's coming home or you're both staying."
"We haven't figured that out yet. If the doctor approves it, do you want to stay?"
"Yes. I'll grab a bag too, just in case. I'll talk to your dad and the doctor. It might be good for Jamie."
"And me." Joe smiled. Finally, some good news.
An hour later Joe and Mary were on their way back to the hospital and Erin started doing her homework. Hearing the good news helped her to concentrate. Mary had said that they would take Jamie his schoolwork when the doctor approved.
"Joe, he's lost a lot of weight, and he's weak. I wanted to warn you."
"Thank you. He's gonna get better, right?"
"I hope and pray every day, and he has a large team of doctors doing everything that they can." Mary tried not to think of the things that could go wrong, and that they could lose a child.
"We all do mom. He's our kid brother. He's changed our lives for the better."
"Joe, smile when you see him. I talked to your dad, before we left, and he knows that things were bad. He thinks that he causes trouble, and that we regret adopting him. He told your dad that he thinks he'd be dead if wasn't for us." Mary cried. She knew Frank needed a break.
"Don't worry, mom." Joe had to take a deep breath. "I'll reassure him."
Mary and Joe can hear Frank and Jamie laughing when they get close to his room. It's a sound that they love to hear, and not something that they've heard much of recently.
"Jamie! Kid, how do you feel?"
Jamie can smell dinner. "Is that mac and cheese?" Jamie smiled. He didn't want to talk about how he felt. He'd only been awake for an hour or two and he felt like he'd been asked that question every five minutes.
"Yes, per mom's special request." Joe smiled.
"Can I please get out of bed to eat?"
"I'll go ask the doctor." Frank said as he left the room. He hoped the doctor said yes. Jamie had made big improvements and he wanted to keep going in the right direction.
A few minutes later Frank was back with good news, Jamie could get out of bed if he wanted, and a nurse was gonna come in and unhook him. He had to take it easy, but the doctor thought a little movement would be good. After some tests the next morning Jamie would go back to his other room, and visitors would be allowed. The doctor had received Jamie's latest test results from that afternoon, and they were much better than expected.
The entire family was happy for the good news. Jamie was happy to be out of bed. He knew the rules and followed them.
"Thank you for making and bringing this Joe. It's so good, and I've missed you."
"I've missed you too kid. It's been a long week."
"When can I work on schoolwork again?" Jamie knew he was gonna get bored.
"Do you have anything left to work here or are you all caught up?" Before the last week Mary knew exactly where he was with his schoolwork, but the stress of the week had gotten to her.
"No, I gave everything back to Erin before my last treatment. She said she'd see my teacher and get more for me. Did she?"
"She did, and she learned something." Joe wanted to share more happy news.
"What?" Frank was worried that Jamie was falling behind in school. He knew that they would work with the school and get him caught up, but worried about how Jamie would take the news.
"Despite everything, Jamie is a month ahead on his schoolwork, and everything he turns in is great. Friday, Erin will pick up the rest of your work for the remainder of the year. Your teacher misses you." Joe hugged him. At Jamie's age, neither his nor Danny's teachers would've missed them if they were out. They caused too much trouble.
"Are my grades, okay?" Jamie was worried. He felt like he wasn't as smart as he used to be before he got sick.
"I'll talk to your teacher. If you need help with something, we'll get you help." Mary smiled. She didn't want Jamie to worry or get anxious.
Dinner was fun. Everyone was talking and laughing until they noticed Jamie curled up in the chair asleep with a smile on his face. "I'll get him back to bed before I head home for the night. The doctor said that they are starting tests around eight tomorrow morning. I'll be back by then."
"I'm coming with you. Joe is gonna stay tonight. I asked the doctor about it on the way in." Mary smiled. Now they just needed Jamie home.
"Okay. Let's go."
"Bye, and don't worry. Get some good sleep."
"We will. Call if anything happens."
It was a quiet night for all. Jamie slept peacefully the entire night and didn't even wake up when the nurses came to check on him. Joe was happy to be back with his little brother. Jamie was awake and reading at seven. Joe was still asleep.
"Morning Jamie." Mary said. "We will get you what you want for breakfast after you get back. Any idea what you want?"
"Bagel."
"Okay, what about a bagel sandwich with sausage and egg?" Mary asked wanting Jamie to get more nutrition than just carbs.
"Please."
The conversation continues until Jamie has to go. Joe has a class and has to leave but promises to be back later. Frank was happy that he had the rest of the week off. He needed more nights like the night before.
Jamie spends two hours getting tests done, and then is taken back to his room that he started in a month and half earlier. He wants nothing more than to be at home, but being back here is better than where he was.
"Frank, Mary, we want to conduct another bone marrow biopsy on Jamie tomorrow morning. I want to check somethings from our tests today."
"Is everything okay? Did that last infection set him back?" Frank said it and glanced at Mary. He knew she was thinking the same thing.
"We will know more after tomorrow."
Another long night for the Reagan's begins, Henry volunteered to stay with Jamie so they could spend some time with their other kids. Henry knew spending some time with Joe, Danny, and Erin would help his son and daughter-in-law. Joe and Danny decided to stay at the house until Sunday dinner that week.
"Dad, what's wrong?" Danny could tell that they weren't telling them something.
"I don't know. The doctor just said that we had to wait until after the test tomorrow morning. I don't know if I want to believe it's good news. Jamie actually seems to feel better. He's got a long way to go, but I hope he's finally on his way to moving forward.
The following afternoon the entire family has made their way to the hospital to meet with the doctor. They were all anxious.
"Hi everyone. Is Linda in with Jamie?" Dr. Allison asked.
"Yes, does she need to be here?" Frank was ready to go and get her. He'd have Erin sit with Jamie.
"No, but it's good she's here."
"Doctor please tell us what's going on. We will do whatever we have to for Jamie."
"You can take him home." Dr. Allison looked around the room waiting for everyone to happy with the news.
"What does this mean?" Mary's head went two places. The first being Jamie's in remission, the second being the treatment didn't work and he wasn't going to and they were sending him home to be comfortable.
"The biopsy this morning confirmed that the treatment worked, he is in remission."
"Remission, really. Oh, thank God. Does he know yet?" Mary's heart was about to leap out of her chest. Her little boy wasn't done with the hard stuff yet, but at least he'd get to be at home for the most part.
"I know that the last couple of weeks have been hard, but they set us moving in the right direction. We will get him discharged today, and then next week he'll come back, and we can start phase two."
"Thank you doctor. Can we go and see Jamie now?"
"Yes, and in the next hour while your packing him up, you'll get to take him home."
Two hours later Jamie was home for the first time in almost two months, and he was so happy to see his own room. He'd get to eat dinner with his family at the dinner table and be one step closer to normal.