Dean stared at the little white pill in his hand. Dr. Lloyd said Dean likely had an anxiety disorder, possibly triggered by the sudden change in his home life, and that this little pill could magically help it go away. Mary was reluctant at first, but after seeing a pretty dramatic change in her son's behavior, she agreed to let him try it to see if it would help. It had only been a week since he had started taking them and Dean was disappointed he wasn't seeing results already. Dr. Lloyd said it could take some time before the medicine started to take effect and Dean was very impatient. He wanted to feel better now. He wanted to stop stressing about staying over at his dad's, he wanted to be excited to start high school with his friends, and he wanted to stop feeling worried the minute he woke up in the morning. Lately, it was like everything was filling him with dread and he was constantly on edge. And don't even get him started on the panic attacks he had been having.
He took a sip of his soda and dropped the pill into his mouth, swallowing both. Setting the soda down, he screwed the cap back on the medicine bottle and threw it in his overnight bag.
"What's that?" Sam asked, coming into Dean's room and catching him.
"Nothing."
Sam put his hands on his hips. "You're not supposed to take medicine out of the medicine cabinet without Mom or Dad knowing."
Dean felt rage. Big talk coming from someone who a few months ago was willing to help Dean sneak ibuprofen. "How about you just mind your own business!?" he snapped.
Sam stomped his foot. "If you don't tell me what it is, I'm telling Mom!"
Dean wanted to pick this kid up and throw him. "Fine! It was a tictac! Happy?"
Sam crossed his arms. "It was not."
"Was too."
"Was not!"
"Was too!"
"Prove it!"
"No!"
"Mom!"
"MOM!"
Mary was already at the top of the stairs. "Yes, Sammy, what's wrong?"
"Dean took medicine without telling you and then tried to sneak it into his bag!" Sam tattled in a huff. The audacity.
"Well, how do you know Dean didn't already ask me if he could take medicine?"
A look of frustration crossed Sam's face. "Yeah- But- Why did he try to hide it?"
Mary bent down in front of him. "How about you let me worry about Dean and you go finish packing for your dad's?"
Still frustrated at his failed attempt to tattle on his brother, Sam stomped out of the room. Mary stood back up and walked over to Dean, now angrily shoving the rest of his belongings in his overnight bag.
"It's been a while since you stayed the night at your dad's," Mary said calmly while cautiously creeping up behind him. "Did you remember everything?"
"Why can't he just mind his own stupid business!?" Dean shouted suddenly, throwing his bag on the floor, and spilling some of the items out of it.
"He's just worried about you," Mary tried to explain.
"Well, if he would just leave me alone, he wouldn't have to be!" Dean kicked the bag, sending it across the floor and causing more items to spill.
Mary quickly put her hands on his shoulders. "Hey, remember what Dr. Lloyd said to do when you start to get upset?"
Dean closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He started to count down from ten as he exhaled, releasing all the leftover air once he got to one.
"Feel better?" Mary asked. Dean nodded. "Good. Can I help you clean up?"
Dean's face turned red seeing the consequences of his little outburst. He quickly gathered as much as he could off the floor and shoved it back into the duffle bag. Mary helped him gather the rest. It was hard to suddenly see her oldest son start to struggle so much, but she was willing to do whatever she could to help him.
"You can always call if you change your mind," she reminded him.
"I know."
"Dad's here!" Sam screamed from the bottom of the stairs.
After what felt like an eternity, John had finally agreed to take the boys to the swimming pool on the other side of the apartment complex. Adam and Sam were excited, of course, but Dean wasn't exactly a fan. He thought he could sneak out his Gameboy and sit out on a chair, but his dad sternly told him no.
"Keep an eye on Sam," he ordered, "I'm going to stay in the shallow end with Adam."
And when Dean tried to groan and fight back, he was met with "Do you want to be with Adam and I'll take Sam?"
And as much fun as it was to have a three-year-old who couldn't swim on his own yet attached to his hip, at least Dean could do whatever he wanted in the deep end. As long as he kept Sam alive.
"Dean! Throw these for me!" Sam said, handing Dean a bunch of pool toys their mom had bought for them the week before.
Dean took one of the weighted rings and tossed it out into the water.
"No! Not like that!" Sam cried. "You have to throw them farther!"
"I can't throw them too far out Sam. I have to be able to see you," Dean tried to reason.
"Please!" Sam begged. "I'm a good swimmer! I'll be fine!"
Dean pushed himself out of the water, sitting on the edge of the pool. Doing so allowed him to still be able to see Sam under the water. He tossed another ring out and Sam happily went under the water and swam over to it. Dean kicked the pool water with his feet, amused that he was essentially playing fetch with his little brother. But hey, Sam was asking for it.
Dean glanced over to the shallow area of the pool. John did not at all look like he was enjoying swimming with a toddler. Dean's heart started racing as he looked past his dad at the lawn chairs and spotted Stephanie and her friends, sunbathing and gossiping.
Dean's heart dropped down to his stomach. He hadn't seen or heard from Stephanie in weeks. Dean didn't understand why. It's not like Stephanie got in trouble or anything. After seeing her the last time he visited, Dean tried calling her place, but she never called him back.
"Where are you going?" Sam asked, popping his head out of the water. Dean realized he was standing and had started to walk away from his brother.
"Bathroom," he lied, continuing to leave. The dread started to bubble inside him again and Dean tried his counting method to calm down. Ten, nine, eight... "Stephanie?"
The girls stopped talking and turned to look at him. "Dean," she responded, sounding neither thrilled nor disappointed that he was there.
Seven, six, five...
"Can we talk?"
"I don't think I want to talk to you."
Four, three, two...
"Please, Stephanie. I've tried calling but you haven't called me back."
"Yeah. Because you're not my boyfriend anymore."
Fuck counting.
"What!? Why?"
"You know why."
"No, I really don't."
"I saw you, Dean. I saw what happened."
"Saw what happen?" Dean looked at the other girls' faces. They seemed to be enjoying every second of this. Dean started to worry about what exactly she had told them. "Stephanie, I swear, I didn't do anything!"
"I bet Tommy would say something totally different."
"What does Tommy have to do with this?"
Stephanie started to gather up her belongings. "I said I don't want to talk to you. Come on girls."
The other girls followed suit, flooding Stephanie with questions, asking her what happened as they left the pool area, but she didn't answer them.
Dean watched them as they disappeared behind the apartment buildings. He tried to control his breathing, but the counting wasn't working. He would get back down to one and start all over and still nothing.
He had to get out there. He had to run. He had to go.
John had had enough with Adam. The kid was terrified of the water, clinging onto John with a death grip. No matter how much John comforted him and assured him he was safe, Adam was not having it. To avoid making matters worse and causing the kid to break down, John finally scooped him out of the water, carrying him alongside the pool to the deep end to get his other kids.
"Sam!" he called out. "Dean!"
Sam popped his head out of the water. "Yeah?"
"Where's your brother?"
"He went to the bathroom."
"I'm taking Adam back to the apartment. If I let you two stay, I don't want to hear about any fighting later. Understand?"
"Yes!" Sam agreed, dipping back under the water.
John grabbed his and Adam's towels, wrapping them both around Adam, still holding onto his death grip until they left the pool area.
coffeeaddict13