Chapter 11: First Aid 101
Seeing as the teen looked to be near unconsciousness, it would be possible for him to start hallucinating; I was still a bit farther than the two as well, so that left me options.
Alright.
Quickly sliding different features onto my face like a L*ve N*kki avatar with a small burst of qì spreading around my body, I changed my slouching posture into a surprised pose. My pitch-black hair lightened into a dark brown more common around these parts, the ends curling into slight waves; light brown freckles dotted my now lighter-shaded pink cheeks, and a few sewn patches bloomed onto my suddenly dusty robes to add to the peasant boy look. (If I made myself taller then that's nobody's business but mine.) The bandages still wrapped around my face and head warped into a makeshift headband made out of hemp cloth.
When in doubt, gaslight.
"Aiyo," I gasped, lips opened in a perfect 'o' as I brought a hand to cover my mouth in shock and concern while moving closer. "Is Gōngzǐ alright? This humble one has never seen Gōngzǐ before, so he does not know what Gōngzǐ means, but it looks like Gōngzǐ is severely injured. Does he require medical assistance?"
The teen squinted his eyes to get a better look but seemed sheepish. "This one apologizes for his mistake; some medical assistance would be—" He winced as he accidentally moved his wounded leg. "appreciated."
"Listen, kid," Out of nowhere, the boy's spiritual weapons materialized into their spirit forms, noticeably blurrier than our previous meeting. The flute spirit ran up to me and started explaining the situation while the sword spirit placed a hand on the blatantly dying teen's forehead, lips pursed with worry. "He's been pierced by the tusk of a demonic boar in the leg, and we think the tusk was poisonous."
Elaborate.
"He started getting a high fever a few minutes after the wound was caused. The two have been here since morning and his wound's looking worse by the minute despite us supplying qì the whole time.
Shit, that's not good.
Bulldozing through any of their possible responses, I speed-walked over to the two and knelt down by the injured teen's side, digging into the bag I conveniently brought with me. "Ooh, that is one hell of an injury." It really was: other than the copious amounts of blood soaking into the dirt where his left leg lay, the veins around the wound were blackened with poison, the color slowly spreading as the poison flowed through his leg.
He just politely smiled with a slightly amused look in his eyes before wincing, gritting his teeth through the pain.
There was a potent smell of decay that brought back a memory. I glanced up at the flute spirit and posed a question in my mind.
This boar, was its coat white, and did it have a diamond-shaped red patch of hair on its forehead?
"Who-who are y-you?" The frightened little boy hiccuped, cheeks and eyes red with tears; with caution, he clung closer to the teen's side.
Softening my face, I tilted my head in greeting and gave a dumb smile. "This humble one is but a peasant living in the forest. He was looking for berries and herbs to take back to eat when he stumbled across this unfortunate scene. This one means no harm, he assures you; in fact, this one wants to help. Are Gōngzǐ and Xiǎo Gōngzǐ with an adult? These woods are quite dangerous without a guide."
The spirit nodded, "Yes, it did. Do you know a way to cure our master?"
The child shook his head, nervously looking down. "W-we were with Dàgē, but this big monster came and hurt Xīchén-gē. Dàgē yelled at us to run and s-started fighting the monster while Xīchén-gē picked me up and ran." He gave a worried look to the older boy. "He fell when we were far away and now he's been really sick!"
The sword spirit gave the child a pitying look and placed a supportive hand on his head, feeling useless since the child wouldn't be able to feel the touch of a spirit. Instead, Xīchén—if I heard correctly—despite being injured, placed a comforting hand on the shoulder the spirit had his hand on to give a comforting squeeze.
"Do not worry, Ā-Liàng; all will be well."
I've got a plan, but I need to put some things in order. So don't be shocked.
"That's...rather alarming." The sword spirit had a mental conversation full of pointed looks with his partner before nodding. "But I can tell you're sincere about helping us. So please, help these poor children."
You got it.
"This humble one has a question to ask of you two. If given the choice, would you like to have a good dream, or have a dreamless rest?" I asked, pulling out two bottles and holding them up to the sun, inspecting the contents carefully. My shaking frigid hands were a very near thing if it weren't for my iron will stilling them.
The younger gave me a weird look. "A...good dream?"
Breathe ragged and skin burning hot to the touch, the other had to take a moment to contemplate my question. "...I'll have to...agree."
Satisfied with their answers, I smiled and opened the bottle in my left hand, shaking out a silvery powder onto my palm. "That's good, that'll make it easier on this one then." Without any warning, I blew the powder in their faces.
Twin sneezes followed after the two inhaled the powder and soon their eyes drooped. The kid would've face-planted on the ground if not for my arms bracing his small body and laying his body against Xichen's. Thankfully, the powder was fast-acting so the boys were out like a light in a couple of seconds. Now that I was in the clear, I shed the illusion like a silk cloak and blew on my freezing hands before tucking one under the blanket I fashioned as a poncho.
Holding up my left hand, I concentrated a small ball of qì into my palm and sculpted it into a small bunny emitting a soft yellow glow. Cupping the bunny with both my hands, I closed my eyes and kissed its forehead. When I leaned back, the previously inanimate qì bunny twitched its delicate whiskers and ears, moving its head curiously before nuzzling its warm muzzle to my cheek.
Perfect.
Fondly scratching it behind the ears, I brought it up higher and whispered into its ear a message for my squad: Make camp at the edge of the forest bordering the Yù river. With a playful lick on my nose, the bunny jumped off my hands and scurried to deliver the message.
Seeing the spirits stare gobsmacked at me, I raised a brow and pulled my blanket higher on my shoulder. "What? It's better if they don't see this." Putting my bag on the floor, I pulled up my sleeves and cracked my knuckles which the spirits viewed in a menacing way from their positions.
"How...how did you do that?" The shocked flute spirit whispered, eyes wide with wonder.
"What? knock 'em out?"
The sword spirit shook his head and answered for Lièbīng. "No, I think my friend means, how did you create a perfect manifestation of qì into the form of a live animal? And an extremely detailed one at that."
"Oh, that." I averted my eyes and hummed nervously. "Trade secret. Anywaays— " I quickly changed topics and reluctantly pulled up my sleeves, unwrapping the ribbon looped onto my arm to tie them back. "I hope you're not squeamish, 'cause it's about to get graphic."
Paler than even usual, the flute spirit shuddered, clinging on to his partner. "Shuòyuè, he wasn't kidding."
"He indeed wasn't, Lièbīng." The sword spirit, Shuòyuè, agreed with a hand to his mouth in grotesque fascination.
"Oi, quiet in the peanut gallery." I snapped over my shoulder, teeth chattering as I strong-armed a squirming parasite causing the damage out of the boy and into a jar of what amounted to the xianxia version of holy water (don't ask me what's in it or how I got it, just know that it's legit). "I'm trying to concentrate." With one more annoyed tug, I finally pulled it out from the ill boy's veins and promptly plunged my fist into the jar before it could latch onto me, watching with satisfaction as it screamed in pain from the impurities burning away. There was even a little cloud of black smoke rising from the jar, and despite the impure creatures being drowned in the divine dew, the liquid was pristine.
Burn, baby, burn.
The two spirits shuddered in unison at the dark smile growing on my lips, revealing canines that had no right to be sharper and longer than the average person (a trait that followed me from my past life that my family members remark as a cute 'quirk'.)
Fortunately, it was the last one I had to pull out. Unfortunately, taking out the poison is a messy affair; if anyone stumbled by and saw me pull out anymore, I would've looked like a serial killer committing an act. Blood coated from my shoulders down as well as my face, and soaked my clothes in an unflattering way with an equally uncomfortable feeling. The sudden pick up in wind did no favors for my shivering body soaked in the rapidly cooling blood.
If nicked, the poison from a Scarlet Boar rushes through your veins and sucks up any qì it finds, transforming into a parasite that keeps eating up your energy until you've been depleted and eventually die. All I did was concentrate some qì in the tip of my finger and gently pressed it to the open wound to attract the parasites and manually pull them out one by one to dunk them in some good ol' miracle sweat. The parasite was a grotesque thing: slimy, black, and had rows of little jagged teeth you'd find in your worst nightmare. Of course, these parasites were drama queens and spat out some of the ingested blood they swallowed all over me when pulled out. Preservation instinct or some shit according to the poisons manual.
"Well," I rubbed away the sweat coating my brow, no doubt smudging more blood over my face. "That'll do it I guess. Lièbīng, can you feel anything lingering?"
Gagging at the visceral sight, Lièbīng put a hand over his nose and mouth; I rolled my eyes at the dramatics. It wasn't even that bad, if anything, I was the one covered in the most blood; Xīchén's bloody wound was already clean with a healthy splash of the celestial spit. It did give a weird hiss and bubble, but the flesh was all sterilized and just remained a reddish scar. He should count his lucky stars a scar was all he came out with; if it weren't for me, the boy wouldn't even have a leg, much less be able to walk.
Stretching out an arm over the leg, Lièbīng concentrated on detecting any abnormalities that still clung on. "No," He slumped his shoulders in relief. "Everything's gone!"
And that's on first-aid, dubious knowledge, and whatever was in that jar Huā-jiě gave me.
"You did it!" Lièbīng shouted, lunging at me; his arms wrapped around me in a vice grip as he glomped me, chin nuzzling the top of my head. "You saved him! He's gonna live! Oh, thank the ancestors! Also, why can I touch you!"
A pair of arms joined Lièbīng's attack and wrapped themselves opposite Lièbīng. "Truly, you've performed a miracle. We're deeply indebted to you so ask of us anything, and we'll try our best to deliver. Although I am curious as well; why can we make contact?" Shuòyuè asked curiously from over my head.
I mhmed, energy drained from the hours of operation, hands busy with cleaning up the DIY workstation. "Family secret I guess. Could you get off? It's getting late, I gotta clean up before I leave. Don't want people getting the wrong idea." The sun was low in the sky, nearly reaching early evening. Where the fuck was their Dàgē? Somebody get their kids already, they'll be eaten by a forest wolf at this point.
"Sure thing!" Lièbīng chirped, eyes bright with mirth.
Shuòyuè merely raised a polite brow. "Of course."
With a thankful nod, I stood up and inspected the damage in a nearby stream and grimaced; the result wasn't good. I'll have to replace my outer robe since it absorbed the majority of the blood; the bottom half can stay since only a few small bloodstains were dotting the areas the robe didn't cover. Ugh, I'll have to dip in the water to wash off the blood from my skin, it was getting increasingly uncomfortable as the blood dried.
The feeling of blood crusting your hair is far from the best feeling in the world, but so is plunging yourself in frigid-ass water in the middle of the damn forest.
To bathe, or not to bathe.
I looked at the water once more.
A frigid abyss stared back. Waiting. Judging. Taunting. Saying 'Do it, I dare you. I eat weak little bitch boys up like breakfast'.
I ain't no weak little bitch boy, so I walked over and dipped a finger in, waited, and promptly walked back to the boys, shoving my trembling hands under the blanket.
Ain't no way in hell am I going in that. I'll get pneumonia just from being near that death trap.
Shuòyuè sent a questioning look my way when I returned.
I shook my head. "Listen, I thought about it, but there's just no way I'm going to put myself through that torture just to feel clean. I'll suffer warmly thank you very much."
He smiled with amusement. "Your choice."
"Now," I placed my hands on my hips and looked down at the slumbering duo. "What to do with these two." I'm not really the type to leave unconscious kids to fend for themselves in a dangerous forest, nor do I want to deal with talking with their separated companions. Should they snitch on me using the sleeping powder, it would be annoying to deal with by myself.
Before I'm pushed to do something I may regret, a blessedly loud voice cuts through the eerie silence of the woods like a sign from God.
"Xīchén! Dìdì! Are you there!?"
Shuòyuè and Lièbīng shared a relieved look. "It's Míngjué."
Well, that takes care of things then.
Not bothering to give either of them a word of farewell, I donned my wéimào with a swift flick of the wrist and stepped on a nearby branch with much enthusiasm, cleanly snapping the wood into two loudly enough for the sound to travel throughout the forest crisply. And in doing so, alerted the boy of someone close.
(Kitkats wish they were me.)
"Xīchén!" Heavy footsteps swiftly followed Míngjué's cry of relief. "Xīchén, is that you? Is my Dìdì safe?"
Before the spiritual weapons could protest my abrupt disappearing act, I gritted my teeth and mentally prepared myself for my next move. Holding a hand out a couple of inches from my face, I concentrated and quickly moved it down the length of my body to the tips of my toes. The air around me shimmered before my body faded out of sight. That's when I decided to enact my pro-gamer move.
Pivoting my foot, I about-faced and climbed up the nearest tree, pulling my body up a solid branch before hightailing it out of there, Narutoing my ass across the trees to where my group set up camp. If there were any advantages to entering a dark and creepy forest, it'd be the ridiculous amount of tall-ass trees clustering together.
"What the fuck."
Glowing red eyes gleamed with a wild savageness found only in predators who won't take no for an answer. Steam curled into deadly black-tinted clouds from its exhaling maw full of scarlet teeth that had no right to be that long and sharp.
"Again," I whined as the demonic boar roared up at me. (I repeat, roared at me. Weren't boars supposed to squeal or grunt and shit? Guess nobody told this 17-foot-tall demonic boar though.) "What the actual fuuuck."
From my vantage point in the trees, the Scarlet Boar was agitated as a waterboarded hornet's nest and was rearing up to ram into the tree I perched in. Judging from the blood dripping from its muzzle, it's already had its breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and like any sensible person in a Las Vegas buffet, still had room for dessert. Its missing leg, singed hair, and mangled side confirmed my suspicions from earlier; it had to be from when we were gathering those herbs. Only my bombs are capable of such damage.
What to do. What to do. I was cold, hungry, and more than ready for a nap. The extraction process took a lot out of me than I thought, and I'm pretty sure my fever rose again from overexposure to the frigid air.
Contemplating leisurely, I watched disinterestedly as the demonic monster finally charged. Although the freezing temperatures and my fever were slowing down my thought process, I still did the math. If I killed the Scarlet Boar, that means I'd have a ton of meat, medicinal parts, and a bomb-ass pelt.
Hmm, that does sound tempting.
On one hand, I'd bring back a boon.
The roaring monster was a meter away from the trunk.
On the other hand, I was dead tired and in need of a hot bath. If I did take down the boar, the blood on my body right now would seem like a child's finger painting. In light of my predicament, I asked priority uno a question.
"What do you think?"
My stomach growled.
I looked down and jumped off.
Patting my stomach, unphased in my free fall from the uprooted tree, I gave an indulgent look at my middle.
"You always know what to say, sweetheart."
Then the blades come out.
The first thing that greeted me was a girlish scream and a rally of various weapons aimed at where I was standing. Looking for the source of the scream, I spotted a familiar-looking boy passed out on the ground by a fir tree. Wasn't he the one who asked if I was okay a couple weeks ago?
I pointed a finger at his unmoving body. "Can someone check if he's okay? That can't be healthy."
"By the river." Some disciples breathed out, followed by various renditions of 'what the fuck', 'who the fuck', and a particularly creative 'fuck my river'.
"..."
"..."
"What? Do I have something on my face?" I deadpanned drily, tone deadly unamused. My forehead throbbed painfully, bright red and swollen from when I slipped and slammed into a tree trunk on the way here.
"By the river, Ā-Dī," Xiāo Rú winced at my tone. "Yeah. Uh-you got a little something..." The boy gestured to his whole body. "Everywhere."
"Hn, noted." I caught a hot towel somebody tossed over and rubbed the drying blood off my face, not that it helped much since I pretty much looked like I swam a 200m relay in a pool of forbidden tomato juice. "Where's Xiāo Yáng?" The poor boy would be traumatized if he saw the sorry state I was in.
Bái-shīdì looked up from where he was sorting through his bag of herbs and gestured towards a tent, a bit taken back at the sight of me. "He's taking a nap right now, Shīxiōng. I reckon he'll be up in half an hour."
"Which will be perfect," Two hands gripped my shoulders and turned me around face to face with Shù-gē; the twitching of his right brow keyed me in on his distaste for my state of being. "Because you will be having a bath ."
"It's not mine." I bluntly stated, not backing down from the assault that landed on me. A couple of the new disciples choked on their spit. Stern hands push me towards a tent, probably where the bathtub was. "Just saying for the record, it ain't mine."
"I am well aware of that." Shù-gē gritted through his smile. "Or else I would have strapped you on my sword and headed straight back to Yuèliàng to the healers. Will we need to clean up, or have you already taken care of things on your end?" His nimble fingers plucked off my wéimào and bag from my hold, tossing them back for Rú-gē to catch out of the air.
My brother held open the entrance and waited for us to enter before letting go of the curtain. Once I ducked inside the tent, I started to undress, this time the warm air making it easier to steady my fingers.
"What were you doing out there?" Hónghán, the nosy bastard, asked, hands casually folded behind his head. Next to him stood the rest of the spirit gang, and then some.
Hands fiddling with my boots, I sent them a beatific smile accompanied by dimples. "Be an awful shame if you found yourselves set by the latrines, hmm? So why don't you do me a solid and get the fuck out so I can rid of this very sticky blood."
"Message received." Honghan nodded and ushered the other spirits out of the tent, noticeably paler than before and sporting sweat on his brow.
Sending a reassuring wave to the twins, I finished undressing and untied my hair. My brothers helped me brush out all the tangles before I eased myself into the tub with a sigh of bliss at the soothing heat enveloping my body. This was what I needed.
Pushing up his sleeves, Shù-gē walked over with the bar of soap and container of shampoo I successfully 5-minute-style crafted into existence to help me wash my hair. The containers were placed on the nearby stand with a muted thunk as he whipped out a washcloth. "So want to explai—"
"There was a Scarlet Boar on the loose in the forest," I stated, blasé as I chose the jasmine-scented soap and rubbed the bar in between my hands, the slick mixture of water and soap foaming a soft white; a plan was forming in my head. The other two occupants of the tent dropped whatever they were holding, jaws dropped to the floor.
You'd think I'd told them tomato's a fruit going by how their gobsmacked faces look.
"I was hungry."
Oh look, now there's an expression I've never seen before on Shù-gē's face.
"And when I'm done taking a bath," I continued, rubbing the soap into my skin and turning the foam a bright pink from the dried blood," I'm gonna skin it, butcher it, and give Měi-jiě its horn for her birthday." By now the hot water was dyed a light maroon from the blood. "We can give the edible parts to the kitchens, the research and medical teams can divide parts for use, and whatever's left can be for fertilizer." Despite the poisonous nature of the demonic boar, its body holds a lot of nutritional value for both humans and plants—provided it's purified correctly.
Understanding passed through Rú-gē's eyes as he started connecting the dots. "Wait, so where's the—"
Lathering the soap into my hair, I nodded to the bloodied blanket innocently set aside on the table, an ominous-looking seal drawn onto the fabric.
"Where do you think."