Your Devil Side

Introductions had been made with stories briefly shared, and as night had fallen, the group had swiftly set up temporary camp on the edge of a clearing. Imogen had barely spoken to anyone beyond giving her name, avoiding everyone afterwards as much as possible. Kit had drifted in and out of consciousness, but when he'd finally come to, Abraham had surprisingly immediately adopted Kit for his own, taking him under his wing. As of this moment, he was doctoring Kit with a startling zealousness, alternating between admiring his long curls and forcing brandy down his throat every five minutes. Rosita watched the proceedings with a raised eyebrow, Eugene observing with sullen animosity, sensing an unlikely threat to his throne.

Amused against his will, Rick watched as Abraham then dabbed solicitously at Kit's forehead with a damp facecloth. What Abraham's agenda was, Rick had no idea. Kit still possessed a pretty face but Rick didn't think it was that, not if he were to judge by the way Abraham discreetly appraised the other women of the group whenever he thought nobody was looking. Regardless, Rick decided to leave Kit to Abraham's ministrations, having no desire himself to tend to a man he despised. Repressing a rueful grin, he turned to check on Carl, only to see he was watching Imogen, who was now sitting on an overturned log away from the others. Startled, Rick then watched Carl's brow crease in confusion, as if trying to make sense of something. But then Michonne was there, breaking Carl's concentration, his son laughing at whatever Michonne was saying.

"Rick?"

He glanced up, startled again, only to see Sasha frantically jiggling Judith in her arms, her small face scrunched up threateningly. "She gettin' crabby?" he hazarded, taking the baby from her.

"Yup," Sasha said, looking relieved, "she's been fed and watered, played with, sang to, diaper changed – you name it, it's been done. But she's still not a happy bunny."

"It's okay, I've got it covered," Rick sighed, holding the grizzling Judith against his shoulder.

Sasha nodded, shooting him a sympathetic smile before going over to Bob, who greeted her with a kiss. With some hesitation, Rick then went over to Imogen, smoothing Judith's blonde hair in an attempt to steady his suddenly trembling hands. His terrible relief at having his daughter back was equaled by his fervent gratitude to Tyreese and Carol for saving her life. Even now, he was struggling not to be overwhelmed, Rick still reeling from Terminus and finding Imogen alive after all this time. She glanced up as he approached, a shadow falling across her face at seeing him, full lips thinning.

"Do you mind if I sit down?" Rick said quietly, jerking his chin at the empty space beside her on the log.

Imogen didn't answer him, her gaze falling upon Judith instead, almost against her will.

"You want to hold her?" Rick offered, careful to keep his voice careless.

Again, Imogen didn't answer, but her arms seem to lift upwards at their own volition, something about the gesture cutting him to the quick. As she then cradled Judith to her chest, the baby watching her with wide eyes, Rick just stood there, studying Imogen for a long moment, taking in the way her long hair fell around her pale face in loose tangles, framing it with darkness. She looked different but the same, Rick trying to trace who she'd been in the worn face of the woman before him.

"Sit down before you fall down, Rick," Imogen snapped, finally looking at him full-on.

Rick bit back a bitter retort, remembering, unbidden, the way she'd busted his balls back at Terminus, something that still rankled. "We need to talk," he said abruptly, sitting down beside her, his knee brushing hers, making him tense.

Imogen shook her black hair back; their gazes locking and holding until Rick looked away, staring down at his battered boots instead. "Well, talk, cowboy," she said scathingly, straightening Judith's sleeve.

Rick bowed his head further. "What happened to you back there?" he said quietly, still not looking at her. "How'd you wind up at Terminus?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Imogen said abruptly. "Hell, I don't even want to think about it."

Rick suddenly rounded on her, his self-control snapping. "I said we needed to talk," he pressed, his blue gaze now boring into hers, "and so we're gonna talk. How the fuck did you end up in that hell-hole of all places?"

Imogen's jaw tightened. "We'd joined a group – me, Kit and his girlfriend, Sienna," she began, "the others were just women, kids and old people – they seemed harmless so we thought it was safe. But over time, it became harder and harder to get by. We – we saw the signs for Terminus and Kit thought we should go there, that we had nothing to lose. We were dying already…"

Her voice petered out, grey eyes suddenly distant; looking back into a past he had no part of.

"They put us in some sort of makeshift feedlot - took the kids first," she then said, her voice cracking, "just dragged them away. They kept us on powdered milk and tinned fruit – each day they would take someone else, tearing them out of our arms. We tried to fight back but – and then they took Sienna last, Kit, he" – She ducked her head, screwing up her eyes to hide her sudden tears.

"How long where you in there?"

"Too long," Imogen said bitterly, "too fucking long for my taste." She ran her hand over Judith's hair, her gentle touch at odds with her tone. "You found your family again, then?" she said with some difficulty, glancing over at Carl with Michonne, the two of them still laughing.

"Yeah," Rick said uneasily, shifting in his seat, "but my wife..." He looked away, his lips trembling.

"I'm… I'm sorry," Imogen said quietly, the unexpected sympathy in her eyes more than he could suddenly stand.

"We were on the road and needed a place for her to have the baby," Rick said in a wild rush, voice cracking. "We found a prison – made it our own but it wasn't enough. I didn't do enough to keep her safe and she died" –

-"Rick," Imogen cut across him, "don't."

Rick bowed his head again, trying to get a grip, shocked at himself. But Imogen was a piece of his past, the last link to a life long gone. Only she could understand the ghosts that haunted him, having long been one of them until now.

"Did Shane make it?" Imogen said abruptly, staring straight ahead.

"No."

Something in his voice made Imogen glance sharply at him, but she didn't push it any further. "I lost my daughter," she said, voice low. "I don't know if she's dead or alive or inbetween."

"What do you mean?"

"My ex took her," Imogen spat, nostrils flaring, "but where, I don't know. It was after everything went to shit – Kit, Sienna and I were walking the road - we managed to make it to my ex's house but by then, they were long gone. I don't know if the army evacuated them or whatever. I don't know anything. He didn't even leave a note, just packed up and left."

"Maybe she's still out there, then."

Imogen half closed her eyes. "I never told you, but the reason I was fighting for custody was because I'd attacked him," she said, startling Rick. "His wife had found out about us so he broke it off, but the bitch wanted my daughter because she couldn't crank out her own kids. He came to take Tess away and I went for him with a knife. He came crawling back later, made all sorts of pretty promises and dropped the charges, but he still took my daughter anyways, trying to play happy families with his pretty wife. Like an idiot though, I was still spreading my legs for him, even as we were fighting through the courts for custody. I wanted him back, and I thought I could get him back."

"Imogen" –

-"Don't say I deserved better," Imogen laughed bitterly, making Rick fall silent. "I didn't, and I don't. I got what I deserved for screwing around with another woman's husband. I broke the first sacred law of sisterhood, right? I mean, that's all I seemed to get when it came to men, the married ones, even you."

Rick exhaled sharply, burying his head in his hands, a burning blush creeping up the back of his neck.

"You don't need sweat it, Rick," Imogen scoffed, tightening her grip on the squirming Judith, "it was a long time ago. Things change."

Rick rubbed the back of his neck, as if trying to cool it down. He was no good at expressing himself succinctly, always evading showing his emotions. "Yeah, things change," he then said abruptly, "I've changed and maybe not for the better, but it's to keep my family alive, those people over there."

"You do what you have to do," Imogen said bluntly, "like you did back at Terminus."

Something in her voice made Rick look sharply at her this time. "I wasn't going to watch you die, Imogen," he said in a low voice, watching as she then began to dandle Judith on her knee, making the baby crow with glee.

"What, like you watched those other people die?" she said smartly, raising her head, meeting his gaze head-on again.

"Yeah," Rick said coldly, holding her stare for a long heartbeat, before letting his gaze slowly rake her from head to foot. "Just like how I watched those other people die, Imogen."

Imogen stiffened under his slow study of her, Rick taking a savage satisfaction in unnerving her. Tossing her head back, she tried to appear unaffected, but it didn't fool him for a moment. "So you lived in a prison?" she said offhandedly, feigning interest in pulling a funny face at Judith, making the baby crow again.

"We were on a farm before that, but it got overrun," Rick said, stretching his legs out before him, "and then we found the prison. Were there for a good while, but we... we got attacked, lost the place. It's been a long road to get here so far, lost a lot of good people along the way."

"Same here."

"We're alive, I suppose that counts for somethin'."

"Is what that Bob said true? That there's a cure in Washington?" Imogen asked, glancing with some dislike over at Eugene, having been subjected to his sullen stare all evening.

"It's all we've got to go on so far," Rick said, running his hand down the side of his face, "and we all need somethin' to keep us goin'."

"Well, as soon as Kit's back on his feet again, we'll be going our own way," Imogen said tiredly, startling Rick.

"Hey, you ain't goin' anywhere, Imo," Rick snapped, rounding on her again, "especially not on my watch."

Imogen got to her feet, balancing Judith on her hip, her face suddenly feral. "I can leave any time I want," she said through gritted teeth, making Rick rise to his own feet, "I don't need your permission and I certainly don't need your chauvinistic notions of chivalry."

"Whether you like it or not, we all have to stick together," Rick hissed, stooping down so he was eye-level with Imogen, "the world's gettin' worse by the day – Terminus will seem like a cakewalk in comparison" -

- "I don't need you to protect me," Imogen hissed back, shaking from head to foot now, "what part of that can't you grasp? I can save myself."

"It ain't about me protectin' you," Rick flared up, "it's about us havin' each other's backs. It was Carol who hauled our asses out of Terminus, and it was your goddamn brother who led you there in the first place" -

- "What the hell is that supposed to mean" -

- "It means he screwed up," Rick said bluntly, "that he was too fuckin' naïve, puttin' his faith into a fairytale. He got everyone killed, and he nearly got you killed, and I guarantee he knows that. You walk away with him right now, and you'll wind up dead" -

- "Fuck you, Rick!"

"All in good time, Imo."

Imogen stared at him, chest heaving. For a moment, Rick thought she was going to go for him. "Here," she then said with great difficulty, trying to hand Judith to him, "take her." But as he took Judith, Imogen realized too late Rick was too close, his hands brushing hers, his face inches from her own, even as he loomed over her. Their gazes met and held yet again, blue battling grey, Imogen unconsciously biting her lower lip, making Rick edge even closer, winning the war.

"You're stayin'," Rick said quietly. And with that, he turned and left, Imogen watching him go, her fists clenching by her sides.

So tell me what I need to do

To keep myself away from you

To keep myself from going down

All the way down with you…