The moon was above us now and the waves were calm. We had been there for a couple of hours but she didn't seem to be in any rush to leave.

"What will you do?" I asked softly "after the war?"

She lifted her head from my shoulder and looked at me. Her eyes were open and unguarded and for a moment I felt like I was in the catacombs with her again... it gave me mixed feelings.

"I don't know" She admitted "we're born into war, us and the generation before us don't know what it's like without that fear, that dread of what will happen. And my entire waterbending arsenal has been for fighting" she sighed. I knew what she meant. I'd spent my entire life trained to kill, the last three and a half years honing that and hunting a child. I was only greatful Uncle saved me from actually killing anyone. When my Father was killed-by the kindest soul I'd ever known no less- I wasn't sure where to go from there, if i lived

"Well, if I can find a purpose after learning my fate was a sham" I sighed because I still couldn't really believe it. My entire focus had been to earn my honour and Fathers trust again. I never thought anything else would be as important as that "I'm sure you'll find your place"

"Will you go back home when it's over?" She asked

"No. If they would let me I'd like to go back to the Earth Nation" I admitted before I could stop myself. She looked surprised

"Really?"

"I liked it there. The land, the people, the weather. There's a reason it's the largest of the four nations. I met this family when I went off alone" I sighed "they lived on a farm and even through the struggle of the war, losing their eldest son, being threatened by their own officers they never lost their faith. They trusted me, took me in no questions asked" my chest felt heavy at the reminder they turned from me after I came to save the kid. But I didn't regret it, I learnt something that day, probably a lesson I was meant to learn. I thought the fire nation was separate, better and above the others because we had more power to show the world. But... if we were so superior, why was this earthbender the same, the same as Zhao? The same as other fire nation officers I remembered as a child taking advantage of the citizens? Because people were the same. Greedy, loving, cruel and passionate. It didn't matter they were scattered everywhere. I ignored the revelation, it scared me to lose that anger and prejudice engraved in me, it was a big part of me. No way could the other nations be like us, so simple.

"Why did you leave?" She asked pulling me from my thoughts

"They figured out who I was... well, actually I revealed it when the boy was kidnapped"

The smile that spread across her face had my heart falling. Nobody had ever smiled at me like that, bright with obvious pride. Uncle's was always softer, less obvious and I knew that was my own fault. But I suddenly felt shy at the thought she was about to praise me

"Angry Prince Zuko saved a commoner Earth boy" her voice was light, like she was a little breathless. Embarrassment crashed into me in a force I hadn't felt since I was a child. Before I could react in a way that would end up getting me hit she leant her head back on my shoulder "As odd as this sounds- I'm glad you left your home. I'd hate to have never known you"

I frowned down at her, because that made no sense

"You knew me before" I said and she shook her head

"No. I knew of you that's different. I never would have seen that you can be kind and sweet, even if you're a grump"

"I am not a-"

"Yes you are!" She scoffed and the urge to huff was hard to push down. Okay so maybe I was, Ty Lee always said it was why Mei and me were perfect for each other. If that's true Katara and me aren't a good match, I thought and frowned because dammit I needed to stop. I looked to the black horizon and wondered about what I would actually do if she chose me, I realised I hadn't actually given her my thoughts on it. Would I want her to choose me? When I left I honestly thought I'd die in the fight to right my nations wrongs. I never thought about a future, I certainly never imagined one with Katara... I looked down to her and my heart picked up. The thoughts, the dreams... our talks. I'm not stupid I know I'm attracted to her but that isn't the same as- I sighed softly and she felt heavier against me. She had fallen asleep. Not entirely sure how I'd get her back to the house without waking her I looked back to the beach only to freeze. Aang was there, watching us. My arm around her waist, her against me, we looked very cozy no doubt. I waved to him, which seemed to surprise him. He approached with his waterbending

"Think you can get us back to shore?" I whispered. He looked from me to the sleeping Katara and nodded. I picked her up standing slowly trusting him to keep us steady. As we got on the beach he frowned

"Is she okay?" He asked

"I think she was a bit emotionally drained" I admitted. That was an okay answer right?

"Yeah... that doesn't surprise me" he sighed looking at his feet. I wasn't sure if he wanted me to know, or if she wanted him to know I know so I wasn't going to ask.

"Yeah, they sure opened us all up to our trauma and regrets. How're you holding up?" I asked he looked at me with wide guilty eyes. He hadn't even thought about it, I realised. The only thing he had fixated on was the implication of Katara and me being involved. And again I felt bad at the thought he was just a kid, barely a teenager and this was the responsibility on his shoulders. All he wanted was the girl he loved and peace enough to do it.

"I'm okay, I accepted my loss a while ago, and I'm not alone. I just messed up" he admitted leaving me to shrug. Before I could think of a decent way to respond "I kissed her. After she said she was confused so now she's mad. I acted like a brat" he sighed

I was surprised he told me if I was honest, and I didn't like pang in my chest. The all too familar jealousy was not something I had any right to feel.

"Well you are just a kid" I teased with minimal effort and he scowled at his feet "You get her hesitation right?" I asked eventually and he looked up to me mouth slightly agape

"She told you?" He asked and I nodded "I get it but... I can't help but think there's more to it than just the war"

I wasn't sure how to advise him on this part. Because I was a part of it and I now knew it. I didn't want to tell him that, it wasn't my place, and it would only cause him more distraction. But I wasn't going to lie either. I really wished I had Uncle's ability for sound advice.

"And if there is you need to let her work through it. There is a war, and some of us may not make it and if she is worrying about you it could cost her, her life. I know you don't want that" I said and he nodded eyes unfocused

"And if she chooses you?" He asked barely above a whisper I didn't think he intended for me to hear it.

"Doubtful" I scoffed ignoring the way the thought of that hurt, the way I felt crushed at the thought she didn't want me.

"But you sai-" he cut off

"I didn't. An actor did. Nothing happened in the catacombs and there was nobody there to even hear what we talked about. They made it up Aang"

"What did you talk about? When I made it through... you were... close" he looked embarrassed and I couldn't blame him. Jealousy was embarrassing and it was something I imagined monks were supposed to be above. I couldn't help pulling her closer at the memory, her smooth, careful hand on my face, fingers lightly touching the scar. The way a hope I had never experienced bloomed in my chest, because nobody had ever looked at me with so much unabashed kindness, I felt it truly hurt her to see it up close, as a healer I had no doubt she could see just how bad it was. How I was lucky not to be blind.

"Our Mother's, mostly" I admitted "she was angry and ranting mostly but we found a common ground" I resisted the urge to shrug with her in my arms "then she offered to heal my scar, with the water from the oasis, thats why her hand was on my face" I explained and his shoulders relaxed as a soft loving smile adorned his face

"Yeah, that sounds like her" he shook his head

"Luckily you barged in when you did" I added to break the tension. He laughed softly and nodded seeming to be over his worries. I wish I didn't have to hide it from him, the full extent of how I am feeling but if we want him to live another day after the comet... well, he needed to be able to focus. And jealousy was not something that belonged on the battlefield. Reaching her room Aang pulled her blanket back as I lay her in the bed. It took all my effort not to run my fingers through her hair. We stepped out and silently went to our own rooms.

-

A few days had passed since the talk on the ocean. And the dreams were worse. And waking up with the evidence was both embarrassing and frustrating. I was at the point where I wasnt sure if I prefered the nightmares, happy dreams or the more physical ones. It was late in the morning so I went to the bathroom before going downstairs to find the house empty. Even the Bison was gone. They probably went to the market, I thought heading out to the courtyard to do some breathing exercises. I used to enjoy them, but now, after betraying Uncle they just hurt. But I refuse to give up on them. I'd face it, remind myself what I had done and accept the consequences. Even if it hurt, or felt like punishment. They started as a calming technique, then they felt a little like what I'd imagine meditation was. I had been out here a while when I realised at some point I had shed my shirt as I began fighting stances with the breathing, and was being watched. Tensing I turned to face Katara only to feel my heart splutter at the look of want in her eyes. Crap, her eyes were hooded as her tongue was poking out slightly between her teeth. How long had she been there? My knees felt weak and I had to plant my feet as so not to go over to her. Because the way her chest heaved with the look on her face was honestly calling to me. But I was pretty sure she wasn't experienced and Aang was likely her first kiss only a month ago. She hadn't even realised I had turned to her. I cleared my throat and she blinked as if waking from a day dream- I was not thinking about it- and her tongue dissapeared

"Oh, sorry" she blushed "I didn't mean to interrupt you, I just... well I wanted to apologise, for the other night" she stepped down from the porch and came closer "I didn't mean to unload on you"

"It's okay. I didn't mind, honestly" I shrugged while trying to remember where I put my shirt, we hadn't had a chance to talk since that night, and honestly I still wasn't ready. Having her this close to me, while I was half naked, after that look. Well, it was fogging up my brain. She nodded and bit her lower lip that had me almost groaning out.

"Where is everyone?" She asked and I took the chance to look away from her before stepping away to my shirt on the floor behind her.

"I think they went to the Market, they weren't here when I woke up"

"Right" she nodded as I pulled the fabric over my head. She looked nervous, unsure and it was throwing me off. She never looked like that before and it was making me uncomfortable. Heading to the kitchen she followed me as I began making something to eat, it must have been way past noon now. She didn't speak, just kept watching me.

"What?" I asked after it was too much and she immediately looked at the floor blushing again.

"Nothing. It's stupid" she blurted and spun on her heels to practically run from the room. Sighing my chin coming to my chest as I internally cursed. Food forgotten I went to find her, in the living area pacing back and fourth.

"Katara?" I huffed and her wide eyes reminded me of a fire ferret freezing before it scuttled away.

"It's fine. Forget it I am being ridiculous"

I stepped forward and caught her hand to stop her pacing before I turned her to face me.

"Tell me anyway" I ordered

"Well you said I should figure my... feelings out sooner rather than later" I nodded

"Better to know than find out mid fight. Though there is a risk there too, but I'd rather know" I shrugged

"How do I do that?" She blurted out "I love Aang I do but I honestly don't love him that way, but it's a sensitive time. And for all I know its all just attraction with you. How am I supposed to know if it is anything but that?"

This was not good. I was not the right person to ask. I was barely aware of my own feelings for her, love? I wouldn't have a clue. I knew I felt more for her. The last week was proof enough of that.

"I don't think it matters" I said and she glared at me "I mean, if you don't have any romantic feelings for Aang then you have your answer"

"But what about you?" She asked

"I wasn't the one to push for an answer" the flash of hurt on her face made me want to throw myself into a volcano. Smooth, Zuko. Very tactful.

"Right... you never actually said you-"

"I didn't mean i-"

"No you're right, you have Mei, and I assumed" she shook her head and I groaned crouching down my arms on my knees my back arched as my head hung low. I really hated my lack of filter, the fact not once did anyone teach me to consider what my words would mean to someone else. Even my Mother, I was the Prince if I wanted something, I'd just have to say. If I didn't like someone I'd never have to deal with them again.

"It's not an assumption" I finally said rubbing the back of my neck "obviously you're beautiful, I would have to be blind not to see that"

"I understand Zuko, you don't have to comfort me" she said softly "I know you have Mei" she said again and it grated on me "she's waiting for you and I shouldn't even be considering..." she let the sentence hang there and I was surprised by the way I was knocked breathless from the idea of her not considering me, the idea of never. But more by the way my nose scrunched up at the idea of going back to Mei. Because I didn't think I wanted that. The image of her in Katara's place in my dream the other night, in any of them felt wrong and I didn't like it. I wasn't ready to announce my growing feelings, and even though she didn't feel for Aang romantically it still felt like I was stealing her from him. And it's not like I deserved her, out of everyone in the world she should not be on my radar after what I put her through. It felt like the universe was mocking me, or testing me, or both.

"I don't have Mei" I said and that's it I'm an asshole, I decided. I didn't look up, I couldn't. I am being a dick and it's obviously not going to help her confusion. I took a deep breath and tried to reset myself. Do this properly. I looked up to her and wasn't at all surprised to see her confusion. "I left her, with a note. Then ran and left her imprisoned after she came to talk to me. I don't have her and honestly I don't want to. I care about her, and I have already told Aang to get her freedom as soon as he can..." I sighed "but I couldn't love her if I left her twice, easily I might add. You have nothing to feel bad about okay? So just calm down" the more I spoke the more my voice sounded mad, but I wasn't, only frustrated. This was a stupid situation to be in considering the world is on the edge of destruction. And what was I doing? Denying my place in a goddamned love triangle with the Avatar. Yeah, the universe is mocking me. It was silent for a while and I was starting to feel like my skin was tight over me, I started fidgeting trying to figure out what she was thinking. I stood up and planned to leave, she was lost in thought and I didn't want to upset her again.

"So, what about me?" She asked softly her eyes glued to my chest. I had to bite my tongue so not to give my immediate response "if, if I..." she clasped her hands together near her legs, clearly becoming shy

"If you decided you wanted to date me?" I supplied and she nodded and my heart felt like it was beating harder than it should, not necessarily faster. And somehow it felt like the air was lighter. Because even if she had said she thought I was attractive that was just- it wasn't the same as having feelings! Dating! It was something she should not want with me. Not that I think a fling is her style but that would make more sense.

"Um Zuko?" Her voice was timid and my eyes snapped to hers as I saw the way her eyes dulled from the sting. She thought I was rejecting her. Again.

"Sorry. I just... I don't know, I mean I do but-" I groaned and threw my head back "why would you want to?" I blurted

"I'm not sure I do I just... well how else do you figure out if you feel more for someone?" She asked

"And my actions in the past don't bother you at all?" I asked a little harsher than I intended. But she just smiled softly at me her hand resting on my chest. I stiffened as I willed my body not to move. I barely breathed.

"I told you, I think its better this way, you're a better man for it. Some lessons aren't pleasant but they need to be had" she lifted her left shoulder softly in a half shrug "and believe it or not, you deserve your own happily ever after, whatever and whoever that is"

I felt my stomach clench at her words and I was not about to tear up. How did the world deserve her? She was too good, too smart, too compassionate that I think she would put Aang-the Avatar- to shame. No wonder he was so enamoured by her.

"No. Not yet I don't" I choked out causing her to frown "only those who redeem themselves deserve it" I had to hold my breath as she lifted up on her toes, her face close, her breath blowing against my face. If I leant down just a bit- damn.

"You've redeemed yourself already. More than once, at least to us" she said slowly, firmly almost angry. Her hands coming to cup the back of my neck. My nerves were stood on end, her hand felt like fire on me. The tension in my stomach tightened. If she kissed me I wasn't entirely sure I'd control myself. She lifted up on her toes more and I put my hand on her arms and she froze her advance.

"Katara" I said voice low, in warning

"I want to know" She whispered "I want to know how it'll make me feel, and you said you'd help me"

I closed my eyes and dropped my head to hers, she doesn't make it easy. How am I supposed to remember I can't have her if she's so perfect and asking me to make a move on her? Taking a breath.

"This wasn't what I meant by help" I groaned and her hands tightened on me

"I know"

I let her arms go, opening my eyes and I drowned, I fell into the depths of those ocean eyes and I didn't even care. Putting my right hand on her waist, my thumb brushing her bare skin she gasped softly. I pulled her against me barely remembering she had only had two kisses. Probably awkward pecks knowing Aang. But honestly I couldn't bring myself to care. Her eyes were wide, I could see her pulse beating fast from the pulse point on her neck. Her hands slacked against my neck and fell back down to my chest so I cupped the back of her neck with my left hand. A simple kiss. That's all, that's all she needed. I closed the space closing my eyes so to try and get a hold on myself. To clear the fog on my brain. Her lips were soft, plush and I was ignoring the heat in my stomach from the simple contact. I pulled back but she fisted my shirt and pulled me back down. I felt her hesitantly deepen the kiss and I had no choice but to follow. She gasped into my mouth and that was it. The heat intensified and I took the lead, she was clearly nervous. There was a slight shake in her hands and I was about to pull back again when her tongue brushed my lower lip. Where did she even learn that? Her tongue was warm and her mouth was inviting as I slowly pressed my tongue to hers. She lowered a little, I wrapped my arm around her waist as we stood in the middle of the living area, kissing. When a moan left us both which was just an invite for the heat to move south. I had to pull back she was panting and my breathing was no better. Her eyes fluttered open with the same look she had earlier which had my arm flexing around her. There was a hint of surprise and I slowly let her go making sure her legs would stay under her before stepping back. Best not to freak her out while she was overwhelmed. Hell, I was overwhelmed. I hadn't expected it to feel that good, or require so much effort to stay in control. I finally let her go feeling cold and I was determined to ignore it. She looked a little dazed

"Are yo-" I began, she jumped looking at me with wide eyes. I smiled apologetically "I'm sorry"

"No... no that was-" she cleared her throat. "I asked you to do it" she smiled her face red. The familiar lazy roar of the Bison came causing us both to jump. I could just imagine the chaos it would have caused had we still been... well making out. That was more than kissing and I needed to calm down. Last thing we needed was Aang getting upset and Sokka getting mad. Almost as if in agreement we looked at each other and she went to greet the others while I went back to the kitchen for my food.

I have been struggling to focus on what I should be and Avatar has been on in my house for the past two weeks. So naturally, I wrote more to an already completed story. Enjoy!