Hello everyone,
I will be uploading chapters whenever I get the time. Please read and review. I am open to constructive criticism. And last but not the least, I do not own Harry Potter.
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Summary: Harry's revenge when everyone overreacts when they realise that he's a Parcelmouth... Dumbledore helps
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1. A Prank for the Fickle-minded
Harry was annoyed at the rigmarole that was his schoolmates' behaviour. So what if he was a parcelmouth? Merlin himself was a speaker of the lizards and yet, people would have fallen at his feet had he been alive today. This was totally and utterly stupid. Harry would go through, in his head, over and over again, the various reasons because of which he thought the Wizarding World to be nothing but a bunch of opinionated, blind donkeys.
And so, sitting in the library away from his peers and friends (Ron and Hermione were amazing friends and always by his side, but at the moment, they were otherwise occupied) he brooded over the unfairness of everything.
The Magical folk's respect for the 'Boy-Who-Lived' extended till the moment he was involved in something that wasn't upto their expectations. And their expectations was something Harry wouldn't even give a maggot for.
As of today, he had been blamed for the petrification of Mrs. Norris, Justin and Nearly-Headless Nick and even Colin, even though he had been confined to hospital wing with a boneless arm when Colin was attacked. Yes, the Wizarding World was essentially very, very unintelligent, unthinking and witless. For a moment, they wanted to worship him, the minute he blundered, they chose to ridicule him. Yes, undecided, petty minded and prejudiced is what they were.
Such was the occasion of opinion change when they realised that Harry possessed a trait that had been exhibited by Voldemort, and if the rumours were right, Salazar Slytherin, himself. Stupid stupid people. Did they think that he was some attention starved kid who would change his ways if they treated him like an outcast everytime he erred? Well, they'd have to wait forever for that to happen.
The most annoying bit was that if they did anything stupid, nobody would have given a rat's arse if he cold shouldered them! Really, stupid, stupid people. This attitude of theirs had to be changed.
He dropped his head onto the large book he was pretending to read and let out a growl of frustration and decided then and there that if he waited for someone to change them, he would never live to see it. He was going to make a difference. And it was then that he decided that he was going to show the world that he wouldn't be phased by their theatrics... he was going to show them exactly how useful his talent could be and he was going to make them appreciate it. But how?
From what he'd seen, almost everyone seemed to be more afraid of a human speaking a snake's language than the snake itself. The snake that could be conjured with a simple spell as demonstrated by Draco Malfoy during their one and only, but fateful duelling session.
A plan slowly began formulating in Harry's head, and slowly, it made itself prominent and grand. There was one flaw, though. His plan was rather elaborate and he would need help atleast in some parts of it especially when it came to some advanced spells. Harry was only twelve and he was certain he wouldn't be able to perform such magic. He even doubted if either Ron or Hermione would be able to cast charms that strong.
Perhaps there would be someone who would help him? Someone who wouldn't tell anyone else? Someone who wouldn't tattle to the authorities...
And who would be better suited for his clauses but the highest authority in the school?
Blimey! That was crazy idea! Where did it come from! But the reasonable and perhaps eccentric side of his mind reasoned that for the year and a half that Harry had known him, Professor Dumbledore seemed to have an open mind that welcomed any kind of fun, even if it was in the form of mischief.
Through when things did get serious, just as when Ron and Harry broke the statute of secrecy as well as drove Mr. Weasley's car into the Whomping Willow this September first, the Headmaster had warned them severely. But this was going to be harmless, if Dumbledore agreed to cast the required charms.
There was a fifty percent chance that he would refuse, though, Harry's unreasonable and sensible mind concluded. But, it would be worth the shot...And there was a sliver of a chance of him escaping detention too!
Harry jumped off his seat and rushed out of the library. Many students passing by either turned away on seeing him, or hurried out of his way in fright. This only strengthened Harry's resolve and he ran faster.
He was slightly breathless as he reached the Gargoyle that stood guard outside the Headmaster's office. Hoping against hope that the password hadn't been changed since he'd last been there with Professor McGonagall, he called out, "Lemon Sherbet!"
To his good luck, the Gargoyle sprang aside revealing the moving stairs that led to his destination. Soon, Harry reached the door to Dumbledore's office and taking a deep breath, he knocked on the door.
"Come in!" was the instantaneous response.
Harry entered the office with all the courage he could gather and faced a mildly curious Albus Dumbledore sitting at his desk, his arms folded before him.
"Come, come, Harry!" he said with a big smile, when he saw that it was Harry. "Have a seat! What can I do for you, young man?"
Any doubt of being roughly thrown out of the office by his ear, when Harry put forth his idea to the Headmaster, fled away. He sat in the chair Dumbledore graciously indicated and slowly bagan to tell him of his woes and how he was going to handle the situation.
Dumbledore's smile kept getting bigger.
When Harry left the office, he had with him a stomach full of delicious cookies, a broad grin and a small box, pushed to it's limits with undetectable extention charms, that would have been very heavy without the lightweight charms. The box contained the secret ingredient for his plan. The ingredient that was charmed by the headmaster to the point of docility.
Albus Dumbledore sat behind his desk with the biggest smile he could sport on his face. He was going to be in for a treat tomorrow. He knew Harry had to have inherited both his parents brains and a bit of Voldemort's too. His smile dimmed a bit at that, but then brightened again. Albus Dumbledore was, for the moment, not going to let anything come in between Harry and the valuable life lesson the boy was going to convey in the form of a prank.
...
Harry was up until five in the morning, gleefully putting his plan into action with a lot of wingardium leviosas and many other useful spells that Professor Dumbledore taught him that evening. He was dressed in his pyjamas for he had to pretend he was going to sleep so as to not get Ron or the other boys in his dorm suspicious. It was only after he was certain that they were asleep that he dared to leave the dorm.
With the help of the invisibility cloak, Harry was able to move all around the castle. It wasn't that hard, and the headmaster had casually mentioned the names of all the places that were usually occupied in the castle while he was performing the charms Harry had requested of him. He even improvised a bit, much to Harry's delight. The charms were also set to wear off by dinner the next day.
Harry worked steadily, starting in the areas furthermore from his common room. Slowly, he worked his way to his own common room (Dumbledore had skillfully revealed to Harry the passwords to the other common rooms while telling him a hilarious joke).
Whatever he did to the common rooms would reveal itself only after ten in the morning. This was to make sure no one missed the fun taking place outside their common rooms.
Harry looked at his handiwork in the common room with pride. He would send a whole bag of assorted Muggles sweets to Dumbledore in thanks for all he had done.
Once he had finished, he headed off to bed with a satisfied smile on his face, the, now, empty box carefully tucked under his bed and the invisibility cloak neatly folded in his trunk. Harry knew that he would be woken up in less than an hour, and that was going to exhausted by the time the day ended... But, it would all be worth it.
...
Ron woke up to a loud crash. Neville had fallen off his bed in his haste to get off.
"We've overslept!" he exclaimed. "If we don't hurry we'll be late!"
"It's Sunday, Neville." Seamus drawled sleepily.
"I don't think Breakfast celebrates Sunday, Ron." Neville replied.
That did it for all the boys, with the exception of Harry, who happened to be really deep in sleep. Usually Harry would wake the others up. However, ever since that horrible duelling session, the time Harry spoke in Parceltongue, he would wake up Ron and Ron would wake the other boys. Their treatment to Harry was awful, but Ron wasn't going to let that be the cause of them losing house points by being late for class.
"Mate, wake up!" Ron said giving him a firm shake. "Get up, Harry, or breakfast will be gone!"
Harry opened his eyes blearily and Ron was preparing himself for an argument when Harry's eyes widened for a second and he shot up.
"Er, you alright?"
"Oh, y-yes." Harry said sheepishly. "Come on! We can't afford to miss breakfast!"
Now, Ron was sure something was wrong. He changed with the other boys, but when they were leaving the dorm, he held Harry back.
"What's going on, Harry? And don't say nothing. You've been acting all strange since yesterday evening!"
Harry gave him a bright dazzling smile and said mysteriously, "If you and Hermione, stay with me throughout the day, you will be safe."
Ron concluded that his best friend had finally caved in under all the pressure and injustice thrown at him. Poor bloke. Ron had seen this coming. Come on, the fellow was kid, just like him and he was sure that he wouldn't have been able to bear it for this long.
"Alright, mate. We will be right by your side."
Harry chuckled merrily and they made their way down to the common room where they met an impatient Hermione. On exchanging greetings, they moved out of the portrait hole, straight to the Great Hall.
It was just as Ron placed a crumpet in his plate that something thuded behind him, on the isle between his house table and the next.
As one, everyone turned around and caught site of a large boa constrictor trying to slyther away.
Despite himself, Ron screamed. Harry gave him an unimpressed look, but calmly continued munching on his toast.
A Gryffindor girl having dropped her fork in fright bent down to pick it up, only to leap straight back up and stand on her seat screaming as though possessed. Curiously many students, of the Gryffindor table, including Ron and Hermione looked under the table. Many screamed at what they saw, but Ron found himself too terrified and too disgusted to even manage a gasp.
There, on the floor, right below the large heavy wooden plank on which lay their meals, were hundreds snakes, all snoozing lazily. It was a sick mess of heads and tails and long bodies, protruding out from the grey, brown and black mass. In certain places, Ron could see strips of blue, green and even orange in the pile. There were just layers and layers of snakes all over! It was revolting.
And for the first time in his life, Ron lost his appetite.
Similar screams and shouts of surprise came from the other tables, indicating that they found the same grody scene under their tables too! Even the professors had a whole mess under their table. But the thickness of the mass was much more there than under the house tables.
Professor McGonagall slashed out her wand with the precise movements Ron's mother used when she wanted to vanish stuff. To Ron's surprise, it didn't work. But, it did worsen the situation. The snakes, now startled, made haste to move away from region of threat. Their scurrying alerted the snakes under the house tables and they fanned out too.
It was a mess!
"They're magic repelling!" McGonagall growled.
"Oh, dear." Dumbledore said. "Oh dear."
"What do we do, Dumbledore?" Snape asked as another snake fell from above, landing straight on a strangely silent Lockhart's shoulders.
The man screamed as though the hounds of hell were after him. He shot off his seat and hopped around trying to get rid of the very colourful snake, and accidentally stepped on a snake , a king cobra to be precise, on the floor. In retaliation, the offended snake turned around and bit him. His shocked jerk was all that was needed to get rid if the snake that was now coiled around him.
"It bit me!" he cried over the students screams and scuffling as the same students stood up on their benches.
Lockhart leapt into the table and yelled, "It bit me! I'm going to die!"
Ron could have sworn he heard Sprout saying, "Don't bother with an epitaph, Lockhart. You won't be missed."
"Why don't we just see if we can maintain order in the room first?" Dumbledore responded belatedly to Snape's question.
Harry snorted from where he calmly sat between Ron and an absolutely pale Hermione.
"Harry!" Ron exclaimed as inspiration hit him. "You're a parcelmouth! Tell them to go away!"
"Nope."
"What? Why?"
"I don't want to."
"Did you do this?"
"It's too advanced, Ron." Hermione said faintly. "Harry could just about have conjured the snakes. He wouldn't be able to put a magic repelling charm on them."
By now, all the teacher's too were standing on their seats.
Dumbledore sent purple firecrackers into the air, immediately attaining silence.
"Harry!" yelled Ernie McMillan across the Hall. "Send them away! Tell them to go using Parceltongue!"
"And face the same buffoonery I faced when I saved Justin from Malfoy's snake?" Harry yelled back. "I don't think so!"
"We won't!" A fifth year Ravenclaw yelled. "We swear, we won't!"
"Oh," Harry hollered mockingly. "Now you're willing to go back on your own words? You wizarding folk have no backbone do you? One moment you polish and care for a broom with all your heart. The moment that broom makes a jerky movement while flying or takes a bad turn, you jump off and set it ablaze! Fickle-minded aren't you lot!
"Well, here's news for you. I'm not as indecisive as you people. Once I know my Parceltongue abilities are evil, I forever know that the abilities are evil. You're not getting another word in snake talk from me!"
"Come on, Potter!" Malfoy snapped. "Don't be an idiot."
"To hell with all of you!" Harry snapped back, then turned to Ron and Hermione and said quietly, "Come, you two."
Ron remembered Harry's words earlier that morning while they were in their dorm, "As long as you stay with me, you Will be safe."
He shrugged and followed Harry off the bench and grabbed Hermione's hand and pulled her too. Together they walked out of the Great Hall. Somehow, the snakes refused to get under their feet.
Ron glanced at the Head table. Surprisingly, the Professors hadn't said a word and Dumbledore looked as though he was thoroughly enjoying this. Lockhart had either fainted or was dead, he was half lying on the head table, and half dangling off it, his face in a bowl of porridge. McGonagall looked furious. Sprout looked guity. Flitwick had fallen off his chair and was now doing something of a tapdance to avoid being bitten by the snakes. Snape looked more amused than anything else. That was a scarier than the snakes. Ron gulped and turned away.
Once they exited the Hall, Ron noticed that every inch of the entrance hall floor too, was covered with snakes. Hermione screeched and clutched onto Harry.
"Oh, this is awful!" she half sobbed. "I wonder who did it."
"It was me." Harry said as he led them to the main doors and into the peaceful garden.
"You managed the magic repelling charm?" Hermione asked incredulously.
"Oh no." Harry said glibly. "That was Dumbledore's doing."
"Dumbledore helped you!" Ron yelped. "Mate, you've just escaped detention."
Hermione let out a little giggle. "It serves them right." she said. "That's why, I think, Dumbledore agreed with you."
"Is Lockhart really dead?" Ron asked.
"Nah." Harry said. "The snake wouldn't have been able to graze him with it's teeth if it tried. Dumbledore made them harmless."
"Look there!" Hermione exclaimed pointing upward.
On looking up, Ron found a large number of broomsticks flying out from a window of the castle and swooping into the main doors. Ron caught sight of snakes tightly coiled around most of the brooms.
"They must have summoned the brooms." Hermione said. "That's to help them fly out of the Hall.
"Come on, let's choose the best spot in the garden." Harry said. "A place that we won't feel like leaving for the rest of the day."
"We won't?" Ron asked.
"Nope. And unless they want to spend a Sunday in a classroom, everyone will join us out here too!"
"Why not go to the common rooms?" Ron asked.
"Because they'll find it raining snakes there, or anywhere else for that matter."
"Don't you think you're joke is going too far?" Hermione asked.
"Nope. And Dumbledore gave me a list of the places, I could put the snakes... Besides, they'll all vanish before dinner."
Hermione sighed. "That means I can't do any homework for the rest of the day!"
"Au contraire," Harry said. "I asked Dumbledore to put and extention and feather-light charm on my bag. And in it, I've got lots of parchment and quills and a set of textbooks and a set of muggle cards and Exploding snap... two chess sets and a chess board and liquorice wands and chocolate frogs and peppermint and cupcakes and a lot of sausage and bread and a gallon of water and a gallon of pumpkin juice and a barbeque grill and..."
And as Harry rambled on, Ron felt a lot fonder of his friend, an amazing friend who knew exactly what to do when the odds were against him.
Harry Potter certainly knew how to look after himself.
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""I'm going to keep going until I succeed—or I die. Don't think I don't know how this might end. I've known it for years." — Harry Potter