Chapter 11

Theo:

Liam was not okay. He was trying to hold it together and in the grand scheme of things he was doing a good job. But I didn't like seeing him like this, dejected, stressed and despondent. He's told me that things at home haven't been good since Saturday. His mom has pretty much ignored his confession and acting like everything is the same as before. As if he didn't just announce something major to her. But he can hear his parents fighting and it just makes him feel worse. He's not sleeping, the dark circles under his eyes a dead giveaway. We are all worried about him, but he won't talk about it. Not even to Mason. But today I'm going to make him talk about it because bottling it up isn't helping or working.

Catching him by the wrist as we walked towards the cafeteria, I sent a quick text to everyone letting them know I was stealing him for lunch. I pulled him into the empty Chem Lab, or Supernatural Summit as Liam has coined it, locked the door, and pulled the shade. Why do classrooms have shades anyway? Then turned and leaned against it.

"What?" he snapped when I just stared at him without saying anything. I quirked a brow.

"You need to talk this out." I told him.

"Talk what out?"

"Whatever is bothering you, you need to talk it out, or yell it out. scream, cry, growl, roar, whatever it takes to stop you from bottling it up and trying to deal with it on your own."

"Nothing is bothering me, I'm fine." He huffed.

"Fine? Liam, you're snapping at everyone. You're isolating yourself. You are not sleeping; I can see it. You are not fine."

"I…"

"You, what?"

"I can't do this right now." He said trying to bypass me to get to the door. I stopped him.

"That's the problem. You can't do this now. You couldn't do it yesterday or the day before. You haven't been able to do this since we picked you up on Saturday."

"I don't know what you want me to say?" he shouted.

"Say whatever the hell you want to say, just say something."

He turned away not saying a word and I was ready to rip my hair out.

"Can you please just talk to me?" I growled in frustration.

"I can't."

"Why?"

"Because."

"Because what?"

Nothing.

"Do you blame me?"

"What? No." he said spinning to look at me surprised I would even suggest that.

"Are you having regrets about this?" I asked gesturing between us.

"No. Of course not."

"Do you regret telling them?"

"No." he said irritated.

"Then what? Just say it."

"I don't want to lose control." he shouted, his eyes glowing bright gold before he turned away again with a growl. My phone pinged in my pocket. Already knowing who it was, I pulled it out and sent a message.

THEO: WE'RE GOOD.

Putting my phone away I walked up behind him.

"Liam-."

"I'm sorry."

"What are you apologizing for?"

"I'm trying. I'm trying to not be angry, to not slip up."

"Liam stop." I sighed turning him around to face me.

"Why are you trying to do this on your own? Why didn't you just come to me, or Scott or anyone?"

"Because I should have a handle on this by now. I haven't wanted to just wolf out in months. I'm supposed to be getting over that spontaneous combusting thing."

"Says who?"

"I don't know. But don't I have enough to deal with, without adding this? Shouldn't I be able to handle this one thing?"

"Maybe. I don't know exactly how this wolf thing works. The most that happens to me when I get angry is my eyes glow or I might throw things. But why haven't you talked to Scott about this?"

"I thought I could handle it. I've been trying to handle it. But it's getting harder to control. I feel like my skin is crawling all the time."

"Could that be the full moon coming up? Isn't it in a few days?"

"Yeah it is. But that's not it, or not entirely at least."

"Okay, then what is it?"

He looked up at me, those clear blue eyes looking so troubled.

"I hate going home anymore. If it's just mom there then she'll act like I'm a stranger or guest or something, or she'll say nothing at all. And if dad is there then they fight. I feel like it's my fault because they are fighting over me, or who I am, I guess."

"This isn't your fault."

He shook his head.

"It's not. You are not responsible for how they take and deal with this news."

"I feel like she hates me now." He said, his voice cracking.

"She doesn't hate you. She just doesn't know this part of you, yet. You told her something that she's struggling to understand, that's all. She's not handling it well. I'm sure she will eventually come around."

"And if she doesn't?" he asked looking at me already looking rejected. I wrapped my arms around him.

"Then that's something you are going to have to learn to live with. It doesn't mean she hates you. Do you regret telling her?"

"No, not really. I regret the way I told her, but I wanted her to know. I guess I just hoped she would handle it better."

"She can still come around; she just needs time."

"If my own mother can't accept it then…"

'What about everyone else?" I finished for him. He nodded.

"Some won't. It's a given. But those that know you and love you will always accept you. There's still no rush for you to tell anyone else. You do it when you're ready."

. "I'm tired of hiding." He sighed.

"I know. But you took a big step this weekend. That took a lot of guts, even if it was brought on because of anger. Don't discount that. The rest will come when it comes." I shrugged.

He rested his head on my chest, hugging me tight. Hugging back just as tightly, I wish I could make this easier for him. I wish he didn't have to go through this at all.

"I think… I need to talk to Scott."

"That's probably a good idea."

"Thanks." he whispered.

"For what?"

"For being here." He said looking up at me.

"I'll never not be here." I told him, leaning in to capture his lips.

I was already so addicted to kissing him. He tended to cling as if to keep me in place, like I planned to move away from him at all. It usually took a lot of effort to part from him, and only when breathing became essential. This time, however, it was a knock at the door that made us separate. Liam jumped back like we had been caught. I chuckled as I went to the door. Pulling the shade to see Scott standing there. I looked back at Liam before opening the door.

"Hey, just checking on you guys. Lydia was worried." He said with a roll of his eyes, then winced and moved to show Lydia behind him.

"You're going to pay for that later, Scott." She told him with a smirk. He smiled as if he was looking forward to it.

"Anyway, are you guys okay?" Lydia asked, coming in.

"Yeah, we're good." I said.

"We're fine. But, Scott, do you think we can go for a run later? Just us?" Liam asked. Scott studied him for a moment then nodded.

"Sure, after school?"

Liam nodded.

"Okay, we'll leave from the field. I'll take you home afterwards."

"Okay, thanks."

"No problem." Scott smiled then grabbed Lydia's hand and left closing the door behind him.

"Feel better?" I asked.

"A little but another kiss would be great." He shrugged. Chuckling I walked up to him and kissed him. Only pulling away when the bell rang signaling the end of Lunch.

"Now I feel better."

Liam:

"You ready?" Scott asked when we were all in the parking lot.

"Yeah." I said handing my backpack to Mason. He said he would keep it until I got home. Scott handed his to Lydia and then kissed her. I looked at Theo wishing I could do the same. He grinned and winked.

"Let's go." Scott said.

We waved bye to everyone and took off jogging to the field. Once we got to the edge of the woods we opened up and ran. Inhuman speed came in handy sometimes. It was freeing to just let go and run. To push muscles as hard as they could go, to let instincts and reflexes take over, ducking branches and jumping over falling trees and rocks. To feel the air whip across your face. It felt good to let loose and just shift. Not because there was danger or because emotions were heightened, but just because it felt natural in this setting.

We stopped at our usual spot. Again, it was instinct. It wasn't marked as anything. There was no sign saying it was wolf territory it just felt right to stop there. When we did stop my urges got the best of me. Growling, I picked up a giant rock and threw it as hard as I could, watching it shatter against a boulder. Then I screamed, well more like roared, as loud as I could. Theo was right, this did help. Afterwards I felt much calmer, not completely but not like I was going to snap at any second.

Turning back to Scott, panting, I saw he had also shifted. Bright red eyes watched me. Not judging or wary, just concerned.

"Feel better?" he asked.

"Yeah." I sighed, shifting back, and sitting in the dirt. He took a seat next to me, back to normal.

"Want to talk about it?"

I picked up a twig and started breaking it apart. After I finished with that one I found a bigger stick to do the same. Scott said nothing just sat silently waiting.

"I just want to be with Theo. Is that so wrong?" I blurted out turning to him.

"No, it's not." He said with a sad smile.

"Then why does it feel like I started world war three at my house? And why am I so hesitant to just come out to everyone so we don't have to hide? I'm sick of hiding. I like him, he likes me. It shouldn't be a big deal. But it feels like it is." I said tossing the stick away.

"I feel like I have to watch my every interaction with him, so no one sees or guesses. We have to plan dates around your guys' schedule so we can be with each other without looks and whispers. I can't just kiss him like you did Lydia a few minutes ago, and I want to. I want to walk down the hall holding his hand, touch him just because I can. But I can't and I hate it." I sighed.

"I don't regret telling my parents. How I did it, yeah, but not that it's finally out there. Dads been great, but he pretty much knew before I said anything. Even made a point of saying that he would always love me unconditionally regardless of what or who makes me happy. You know what my mom said after I told her? She said I was confused; it was a phase, and that Theo and Mason were brainwashing me. Even after I told her that Theo wasn't the first guy I liked." I huffed a laugh.

Thinking about how she really thought so little of me, hurt. Scott didn't say anything just letting me talk it out, but the squeeze of my shoulder was comforting.

"I'm angry all the time. From the time I wake up until I go to bed at night. All I hear is my mom and dad trying not to yell at each other, but wolf hearing doesn't really allow for much privacy. Dad's trying to make her understand that I am the same person I was before I told her. But then she pretty much thinks I'm going to explode at any moment. And now I feel like I'm going to explode at any moment."

I turned to Scott who was watching me in that way of his, but he looked like he understood.

"I feel like I'm losing control and I feel guilty about that. Then I get even angrier because I feel guilty. I've worked so hard to get to where I don't let my temper get the best of me and here I am letting my temper get to me. It's like a never-ending cycle and I don't know how to stop it." I admitted feeling extremely drained.

"You have every right to be angry, to be hurt, to be stressed and overwhelmed. But you don't have anything to feel guilty for. What you're going through is heavy and it's a lot to take. This feeling of wanting to lose control, I get it. I've been there a few times. More than I care to think about. I have moments even now, where I honestly don't know if I can stop from shifting. But in those times, do you know what I do?"

I shook my head.

"I talk it out. I'll talk to Stiles or Lydia. If they can't help or if it's not something I think they can understand, I talk to Derek. I even once talked to Peter, believe it or not." He snorted. I huffed a laugh thinking about Scott willingly talking to Peter about something like this.

"You're problem isn't that your losing control. It's that you've been trying to handle this alone."

I nodded looking away.

"You're not alone. You have Theo, you have me, and Mason, Stiles, Malia, Allison, Lydia, Isaac, and your dad. You can't bottle this inside and think you can figure it out on your own. This, what we just did, running, giving you a safe space where you can let lose, I can already see it's helping. Just talking to Theo at lunch helped you."

"Yeah it did."

"As for feeling like you're going to wolf out. We talked about this, remember? Sometimes moments, situations, things that come up will test you. You can be doing everything right and it can still happen. It's not just you, either. Isaac still has his moments, he told you that. Malia still has her moments as well. Having moments doesn't make you weak or a failure. It doesn't mean you've taken steps backwards, it's all just part of what we are."

"Do the others still come to you when they have moments?"

"Oh yeah." he laughed. "I still get calls from Malia sometimes when she's having a hard time. Isaac will still come to me when a memory from his childhood sneaks up on him and he starts to slip. Granted they mostly go to Stiles and Allison but sometimes it's something that only another shifter can help with. And they beat themselves up about it as well."

"I just hate that I am struggling with this."

"You're struggling because you blame yourself for how things turned out after you told your parents. But that isn't your fault. Their thoughts and reactions aren't a reflection on you. Do you think her reaction would have been better if you had told her over a family dinner or called a family meeting? By the sounds of it she still wouldn't be able to wrap her head around it. Isn't that why you didn't want to tell her about the wolf thing?"

"She's not good at handling things out of the realm of normal. But this, I hoped she would take some time to process it and then see I'm happy with who I am. But it's like she's fighting it."

"My mom once told me that when I was born she had my whole life mapped out for me. Grow up making excellent grades, go to college, get a good job that I loved, fall in love, get married and have grandkids she could spoil." He chuckled.

"She already had you married? When you were born?"

"Not really, I don't think. It was more of a vague dream of what she thought my life would be like. But parents do that, sometimes. They see a path they want their kid to follow, and it sticks with them. When I became a wolf. When she found out, it deviated from the path she had set for me. Then Alpha, yeah she definitely didn't factor that into my future. Same for Stiles' father. Do you think he thought he would be raising a criminal mastermind?"

I laughed because it's true. Some of the things Stiles does we can't figure out how, but he has yet to be caught doing wrong in the first place.

"I'm sure your mom is the same way. She had a plan for your life, a little obsessive, judging by how hard she was pushing Hayden at you, but her plan got disrupted by this. She's having a hard time letting it go. So, it's easier for her to think that it's a phase that you will outgrow and then you will be back to what she envisioned."

"I just wish she could try to understand better."

"Give her time Liam. She loves you. She's just struggling, just like you."

I nodded. I guess I can understand that. Just like finding out about the supernatural, I guess this would be a blow to anyone's world.

"Thanks. For coming out here with me. Theo could see I wasn't doing well. But I just thought that I should be able to handle it on my own."

"Nobody should handle something like this on their own. Be it orientation or being supernatural. Even me. Being an alpha doesn't mean I don't sometimes need someone to listen or help. But anytime you need this. Just a moment, or minute to let go and let loose, say something. Not just to me. I'm sure Isaac would go with you as well. Stiles will do… whatever it is Stiles does. I don't attempt to understand how his brain works sometimes."

I laughed.

"But next time. Don't let it get this far okay? I've told you; you aren't alone."

"Yeah, I know. And I won't. This was all too much to try to handle alone."

Both of us perked up as we heard approaching footsteps. We both stood and faced east trying to see through the trees. Both Scott and I shifted. With as far into the woods as we were, it's not often, if ever, we would run into humans. Maybe hikers but the steps were too hurried for hikers. Like they were running.

Two people burst through to the clearing, male and female. Both shifted as soon as they saw us. Though the male kept the female slightly behind him, protecting her. Growling was heard all around before recognition hit me. I stopped and shifted back.

"Brett?"