Date posted: 19th November 2023
Hey everyone, FFN's alert e-mail system is still fucked up since most folks didn't seem to get alerts for chapter 22. If you follow this story and feel you missed a chapter, you probably did.
Chapter 23: Fiscal Report
The time is right to put my arms around you
You're feeling right
You wrap your arms around too
But suddenly, I feel the shining sun
Before I knew it, this dream was all gone
- Digital Love, Daft Punk
There was a great cloud of dust on the horizon even in this dark weather. Most plainsmen would ride in small bands to ensure there was little warning of their coming. These strangers wanted to be seen, for on the plains, even a blind man can see for an eternity.
On a nearby hill, a young girl could see the horsemen coming towards her tribe's campsite. She dropped the stick she was playing with and sprinted towards her parents, an effort and a challenge for the snow came up towards her knees and restricted her stride.
As the hunting dog of the tribe saw her running, it ran to the middle of the camp, barking and making a ruckus The women dropped what they were doing and dragged the children into the tents. Men came out wielding weapons. Rugged men, hard men, armed with lances and bows. But most notable was the chief himself.
The chief of this tribe was grim of face and tall of stature. Even in the cold of winter, he chose not to wear a tunic, only a thin cloak that showed off his wide bare chest. Had he the time, he would have applied warpaint made from bison blood. In his hand was his father's lance, the shaft made of ironwood, the head made of an enchanted metal that the tribe shawoman said came from the stars. A single lick of the blade would paralyse the enemy with sparks of lightning. Strapped to his left arm was a metal shield, black and inlaid with gold, looted from a mighty aswar he slew in a duel. He had a scar over one white left eye, one he had gained from saving his father when he was but a lad.
The chief, whom the Rumine knew as Milk Eye, was a respected warrior. He may not be the richest nor his tribe the strongest, but they respected his bravery all the same and he often led raids into the desert kingdoms or war on the settled people.
He and his chosen men stood before the incoming horsemen, not enough time to mount their own horses. Arrows were nocked, axes and swords unsheathed, battle lines drawn.
Whoever this group of people knew a fair number of things on leading horsemen in the snow, a skill even veteran raiders had difficulty to master. Rumine they were not yet they rode the hardy mustangs of the plains, not the great clumsy horses of Granum knights or the swift desert horses of ghazis and aswari. They held a banner above them in the way of settled men, a foolish thing to signal to your enemy in the chief's opinion,
One of his champions called out, "Ho, chief! The strangers carry the owl of Wicasa the Wise!"
The Warriors of the Owl! Milk Eye remembered the battle at Fort Valador where the owl banner came to the aid of the Knight of Arrowhead. He was not there, for he was ill at the time, but he had heard tales from his kinsmen of their valour.
He had also heard tales from the other surfaces of the castle: a great battle won by the forces of the Eternal Watch at their besieged stone homes, that they controlled spirits of their dead comrades and were masters of that terrifying substance called Holy Fire. These Owl Warriors were not to be underestimated.
They stopped a bowshot away. They were easily in the low hundreds and though Milk Eye could have summoned five thousand men, that would take time and riders, neither of which he had. There were but three hundred people altogether at this campsite, only a third fighting men. He had gotten sloppy and inattentive and would pay the price.
One of the riders dismounted, covered entirely in furs, a scarf covering his lower face. The stranger came rushing and the men of his tribe raised their weapons until Milk Eye heard his voice: "Ahpu!"
At that, Milk Eye dropped his precious ancestral spear and his shield, transforming from fearsome chief to loving father and embracing his child. "Peta!"
The tension was banished instantly and everyone relaxed. Spear points were put down and bowstrings were relaxed as the chief spun his daughter around in one of his infamous bearhugs.
The chief put her down and they continued speaking in their tongue as Asuna watched closely. Heart Lancer, that one Rumine lady that entered the tournament and had volunteered in the war against the undead, had been inducted into the Watch's ranks at Hwiatha's advice, and though she complained needing to wear a uniform, Asuna had no problem admitted that the tribal was an apt and experienced horsewoman.
Far in the distance were a herd of bison, not yet gone to lands warmer where the snow had yet piled up high. Much closer, not too far from the horse pens, were a herd of camels. Asuna had been on the road long enough to know not to ask a man where he got his herd from.
"You could have given me the order and Absolute Sword would have blinded the man in an instant."
Asuna rolled her eyes and exhaled, her breath visible in this cold. "Yuuki, if you did that, it would cause an international (intercastle?) incident."
Her squire covered her with a hand, allowing a single eye to peer through it. Asuna didn't know what the move was called, she just knew that chuunibyous at her old school did that. It was pretty cringe, but the girl was like fourteen, and every teenager should be allowed to be cringe.
"Tch. With a single throw of my «Dark Blade of Shadow Vengeance», I could have ended him in an instant and stun this entire camp with my «Killing Intent»."
Asuna had watched Yuuki try and fail at playing throwing darts in the barrack's recreation room. Suffice to say, after an incident involving Git Guld and a quick trip to the healer for cheek surgery, she was no longer allowed to use throwing darts. "Give me your knife."
"But I just bought it!"
"Give it now," said Asuna in her no-more-arguing-with-me tone. Oh no, I have become my mother.
"Fiiiine." She reached under her cloak and handed the sheath to her.
Asuna examined it. "Yuuki, this is a kitchen knife. You cut potatoes with it earlier this morning."
"Nay! It is «Dark Blade of Shadow Vengeance», bathed in the blood of many vegetables."
She sighed again and handed it back to her. "Just be sure to ask Sinon for lessons when we're done. Don't use that to stab people and keep it clean."
"Yes, sir!"
"Atta girl." If only Sinon were with them. But she had once again gone off into her multi-day hunting sprees. She didn't particularly blame the hunter, there wasn't much to hunt this time of year on the plains.
Heart Lancer approached Asuna and saluted. "Warchief, my father has agreed to host us for the night."
"Alright. Hwiatha, set up the tents nearby and post the usual amount of guards."
The Orage man saluted. "Yes, sir."
It didn't take long for them to get settled in. They were on the 19th Floor now, or the Great Plains as it was better known, home of the bison, the Rumine, and endless skies. Indeed, it seems even the Floor above them was far higher than normal, and she could barely notice its presence through the thick winter clouds. Argo had told her that the Clearers were on the 20th Floor now, searching for the next boss dungeon. She had yet read the reports of what they were doing around here.
Chief Milk Eye invited her and her officers to dinner just in time for dinner. Many men and women of importance in Aincrad often Smoked bison meat, roasted potatoes and mare's milk may not have been Asuna's idea of fine dining but after days of riding she welcomed anything that wasn't hardtack and pemmican.
The chief eyed her warily. "Did your Watch not come to the aid of the Orage and fought off the People of the Sky at Fort Valador?"
The People of the Sky was what the Rumine meant in their tongue. "Our allies called upon us to fend off your raiders. Nothing personal, of course. We have no quarrel with you. Our best hunter has hunted with your people; one of your own, Chief Fire Hawk has traded your mustangs with us; our Steward was one of you; and of course your daughter Heart Lance has joined us. We are open to all, Free Tribes or foreigners alike."
He drank his cup of mare's milk before speaking further. "Hmm. If my peta speaks well of you, then you are welcomed in my tribe. Tell me your tales of war and valour, Warchief Asuna."
And so the night went on as the Watch and the chief's champion shared their stories: tales of daring-do and bravery, discussions of tactics and strategy, anecdotes of follies in good humour. It was a good night and Asuna enjoyed the evening.
It was near midnight that the chief asked the real question. "So, tell me, why are you truly here? You have summoned your fighting men, I assumed, not to eat my bison."
She looked about the tent, and sensing that they were out of hearing range of most, leaned over and whispered into his ear. "Is it true you know where the Mahoraga is?"
Milk Eye's remaining eye narrowed. "Yes, warchief. I do."
The next morning, Milk Eye and a select group of his men lead the Eternal Watch to the gravesite. To call it one however was being very generous, there was nothing to differentiate this piece of the plains from any other piece of the plains, save that all Rumine avoided it, fearing it as cursed thanks to its one very noticeable feature.
The skull was massive, sticking out of the earth like a buried ship rather than an animal. The skull would have suggested it belonged to a cyclops with its massive gaping hole- Asuna could have ridden her entire troop through its 'eye' with no issue - but one would need to look from afar to notice its four eye holes. The ribs were so tall one could have mistaken it for white trees. Its tusks were like fingers digging itself out of its own grave. It was the skeleton of the largest elephant who had ever lived, and the site of one of Aincradius' last battles.
Now, Asuna wasn't some sort of animal expert, but she was 100% sure that elephants weren't native to the American Great Plains, but this wasn't the Americas and the carcass before her wasn't an elephant. Then again, she did hear that camels originated from Canada.
Asuna thanked Chief Milk Eye and he and his men respectfully retreated away from the site, the taboo strong enough to even frighten these hardened warriors. Her men rode to the front of the skeleton in silence, as if speaking would disturb the great Mahoraga from its slumber. Many of the Watch thanked the spirits or the gods inwardly that the Cult had no power to raise this titan from the dead.
Everyone else but her dismounted as she prepared herself for the speech. Asuna looked resplendent in her owl feathered cloak, something Tupi had found in the depths of the Fort's storage room, belonging to the old Warchief of the Watch. Yuuki, Lieutenant Hwiatha, Master-at-Arms Robert, and Sergeant Hamid stood beside her.
She cleared her voice and spoke loudly and clearly: "Men and women of the Watch, hear me.
"For half a year, I have been with you. I have trained you alongside Slayer Sinon, who is currently finding more food for the Fort and your family -" Or at least I think she is, "and Argo the Rat is securing lucrative contracts for the Watch itself -" Assuming she doesn't fall asleep, "And of course, Lord Kirito -"
A cheer erupted from the Watchmen and Asuna couldn't help but smile at how much they liked him. Shame that she was going to break their hearts.
"Lord Kirito and the Kirito Corporation have decided to leave the Watch in your care. Until then, the Kirito Corporation will move on and continue on our journey. And that includes me. I am officially resigning from my post as Commander and Warchief."
Silence in the plains, save for the biting wind, and then, shouts of anger, disappointment, and worry. She raised her hand and the men obeyed their warchief.
"From henceforth, I will no longer be your warchief. I have already chosen your successor and we have discussed this amongst the officer corp. Lieutenant Hwiatha, step forth."
As they had rehearsed, Hwiatha did just so and bent his knee. She dismounted swiftly, and unclasped the owl feather cloak from her shoulders, draping it over the other warrior. It was a move that would have made Asuna's drama teacher proud.
Master-at-arms Robert came to her side, holding in his hands something wrapped in fine silk. He unfurled it to reveal «Wicasa's Legacy», cleaned and refitted, polished to a mirror sheen. Even during that grey winter morning, it shone like a star. The men gasped at its sight.
Asuna grasped the sword and admired it. Though she may have primarily been a «Swords: One-Handed» user with her rapier and shamshir, and was branching into «Hammers», even she could admire Lisbeth's handiwork. "You may be wondering why we're still holding onto it. But as you may know, the champion of the melee has kindly given this prize away for the actions he had committed during that little trouble. That, and he didn't want to get sued in court."
Laughter at the joke, though a few flinched at the memory of the riot being mentioned as only 'a little trouble'.
She gestured to the elephant skeleton behind her, such a fearsome beast inspired as much awe in death as it in life. Had a dragon landed nearby, it would have trouble ripping the crowd's attention from the skeleton.
"Behold! Darayaus, the Mahoraga mount of the Sorcerer-Shah Ahriman XIII, one the last of the sorcerer-kings to fall to the Alliance of Light! A time before the Castle, a time when the Rumine did not even have their hardy horses nor the Orage were even a people, before Granum had its chivalry and the Nadyah their rivers. For ages the Rumine have kept watch over this gravesite, lest a necromancer revive this mighty giant.
"It is here that the Wicasa the Wise created our noble brotherhood, on this very spot, to watch over the dangers of the sorcerer-kings lest they return. And it is here you will have your new warchief."
It was a Granumite ceremony, but the Free Tribes understood it well. To most of them, this was the first time they were witnessing it. Asuna laid the bare blade on Hwiatha's left shouderblade, then the right, and it was done. "Rise, Warchief Hwiatha of the Eternal Watch. May your watch be ever vigilant and the spirit of Wise Owl guide you."
Everyone cheered and Hwiatha beamed with pride. It's done.
A day later they were out of the plains and back on the road, surrounded by familiar forests. Asuna felt like a great burden had been released from her shoulders. As sad as she was leaving the Watch, it felt good to be just a simple bodyguard again. No drilling troops, no leading men into battle, no dealing with wages, just a simple swordswoman life.
A simple swordswoman's life where death lurked in every corner in a Death Game created by a madman sure, but you needed to take your wins when you can get them.
They made a stop at a caravanserai that night, where the new warchief was treating the troops with his bump in wages at a fancy inn. Hwiatha was young, strong, and charismatic. He was one of the first Orage to join the Watch; technically, he was part of the Watch since he was a kid but now, he was leading them. No doubt he would be a fine lord in his own regard.
She wasn't so sure about his romance with Heart Lancer. She knew of their secret relationship but she wasn't to pry. Not that it mattered, Asuna was a civilian now.
Most of the men came to say their congratulations and their goodbyes, the sergeant and master-at-arms included. What little hostility Asuna had with the ex-robber knight Robert was gone. All in all, it was a good feeling. She sat in her corner by the fireplace, sipping her spiced wine, and enjoyed the celebrations.
She was reaching for her third cup of wine when a group of Watchmen approached them. They were all players: Brickwall, Git Guld, Hansel and Gretel. "What can I do for you?"
"Well, captain …" Gretel began.
She held up a finger. "Nope. Sorry, Gretel-chan. I'm not a captain or warchief anymore. I'm just Asuna."
The young girl almost looked shocked to hear the -chan suffix attached to her name. Her brother began, "Cap - Asuna-san. We're looking to uh …"
"Quit," Guld said plainly. "There's nothing more for to be done here. The questline has ended, time to search for greener pastures."
"BROTHER GULD, IT IS WINTER."
"It's a metaphor, Wall."
"SOME SORT OF ENEMY? I WILL SLAY IT."
Asuna raised her hand. "Yeah? Take it up with Hwiatha then."
"Oh, we did. No, it's just -" said Hansel but his sister cut him off.
"We just wanted to thank you for all the time leading the Watch, temporary as it was."
At that, all four of them bowed. It was the single most Japanese thing he had experienced in ages, it made her feel homesick. Ironic considering she was likely strapped to a hospital bed in Japan's most advanced hospital no doubt. She felt tears welling in her eyes at the sudden spike of nostalgia. "Oh, you don't need to-"
"NO, CAPTAIN. WE MUST. IT'S THE LEAST WE COULD DO." From his back, the Wall produced something wrapped in canvas and gave it to Asuna.
"Aww, you guys shouldn't have …" She untied it to reveal a gorgeous gift:
The first thing she noticed with the buckler is that it was light as a feather despite being an inch wider than a normal buckler but not as wide as a dhal shield. Painted a tasteful white, it had arcs of lighting with engraved gold and in the middle of the buckler where the boss was a golden lighting symbol on a field of red.
The name of the buckler was «Thunder Guard».
She was shocked. "I-I don't know what to say. How did you-"
"Hwiatha let it slip early, suggested we get you something nice," said Guld, smiling. "Don't worry, we tested it thoroughly. A greatsword can glance off it no issue."
Asuna bowed ever so slightly. "Thank you, I'll cherish it. But what will you guys do now?"
Guld shrugged. "Dunno. Maybe head a few Floors down, heard a bunch of guilds are starting up. They could use a trainer."
"AS FOR THE WALL, HE IS HEADING STRAIGHT TO THE FRONTLINES. A LITTLE SPEAR ON ZOMBIE ACTION IS TOO LITTLE FOR A MIGHTY WARRIOR LIKE HIMSELF," exclaimed the walking armour.
"As for my brother and I, we'll stay here until spring," said Gretel. "Afterwards, we'll be heading back to the 1st Floor, to the First City. Maybe help with some of the low level newbies there too."
Asuna nodded, impressed. "Since you all have figured it all out. I only wish you the best of luck," she said, raising her cup. "It's an honour to serve with y-"
"Also, we uh, need you as a reference for our resumes," said Guld. The others glared at him. "What? You know we had to get that over with!"
Asuna chuckled. "Oh, don't worry about, I'll lie through my teeth for you."
"What about you, Asuna-san. What are you gonna do?" asked Hansel.
"Oh, I dunno where Kirito will drag me and everyone around. Into danger no doubt." With all the fun times that implied.
"Yeah, and that includes you dragging him to bed," Guld murmured under his breath and everyone snickered.
Her eyes turn cold. "What was that, soldier?"
"Nothing, ma'am."
And like that, Asuna was all smiles again. "Good! Now excuse me, I think I'll head to bed. Enjoy yourselves." She finished the last of her spiced warm, feeling just the right amount of warmness and lightheadedness.
She shared the room with Yuuki, who, despite insisting that she 'checked the room for any spies, assassins, and kidnappers' and 'would stand guard for the rest of the night', the squire was already fast asleep in bed. She snored as loudly as Asuna's dog.
She doffed the candle and laid her head on the pillow and like a flick of a switch, she was in dreamland.
Asuna dreamed a dozen things that night: she dreamt of attending first semester course of Business Management 101; she dreamt of her parents, strict and demanding; she dreamt of clashing swords with her brother. She dreamt of her adventures in Aincrad, the first boss fight with Illfang the Kobold Lord, meeting a band of samurai and running between the alleys of the smog filled city of Mankhlar. But most importantly of all, she dreamt of Kirito.
They were in a nice fancy restaurant, the kind her parents dragged her to all the time looking for suits, overlooking all of Tokyo. Instead of being flirted with men far older than her, she was alone save for a nearby waiter and a band quietly playing a song she knew but couldn't quite place. Asuna was wearing a gorgeous red dress, her hair prim and proper and she wore a tasteful amount of gold.
Entering the restaurant was Kirito in a handsome suit, his long hair tied into a neat ponytail. He looked gorgeous.
"My beloved," he greeted her and kissed her gloved hand.
"My heart."
They chatted about life, about love, about their time in SAO. How they barely escaped with their lives. They talked about their future. They had wagyu and the finest champagne. She learned everything about him and he about her.
Their meals finished, Kirito stood up from his chair and came to her side. "Asuna, I have something to ask you."
"Yes, Kirito-kun?"
He went on one knee and reached into his pocket. "Would you …"
She felt something stuck in her throat.
" … do me the honour of …"
He had something in hand. Asuna had tears in her eyes.
" … becoming my -"
The windows of her room blew open and a gust of cold wind rushed in, waking Asuna from her dream.
Yuuki was there, all smiles and sunshine. It was still pitch black outside. "Wakey, wakey, sleepyhead! It's two hours before we leave and I think we should spar!"
The squire found herself thrown out of the window and into a pile of snow behind the inn, the shutters of the window slamming closed.
Sinon woke up to the sound of ruffling and reached for her crossbow.
Before her was a rabbit, white as the snow that surrounded it. It looked at her with its beady black eyes, seeming completely unperturbed by the blue-head popping out of the bush.
The hunter blinked and checked the time: eight in the morning. She had overslept and the fire was dead. Her loot goblin instincts screamed at her to shoot it, a bit more meat for the Fort, but the rational part of her said that a week out in the wild had ensured that there was enough to feed everyone. SAO did have some sort of realistic sense of ecological balance, or at least, that's what the ads said. Best not to annoy Mother Nature.
The rabbit returned her blinks by also blinking.
"Get out of here before I turn you into a nice pair of gloves."
At that, the rabbit darted away into the brush and out of her sight.
Sinon stood up, her camouflaged bedroll dropping from her, and immediately regretted it. The temperature had dropped below zero celsius and as hardy as she was and as much as liked to repeat 'Cold as Ice' to herself, she was not, in fact, cold as ice.
Reviving the fire, she drank her bark tea and warmed up. She missed her bison wool cloak which she had sold to a trader after the whole undead incident at the fort. Usually, she would not have done so, but Kirito's big puppy eyes convinced her it was for the greater good. She relented; she always could hunt another bison.
It had been ten days since the siege and they were still scrapping the battlefield and performing proper funeral rites to the fallen. The tournament-goers, who but just earlier that day had threatened to tear Kirito and the Watch limb from limb thanks to spiked drinks had somehow forgotten what happened. In fact, most of the people who had taken refuge had considered the Watch their saviours.
The whole event had surprised Sinon: that assassin the elf had been chasing, disappeared in a flash of light; Professor Ramza and Apprentice Ava with Kirito's help, performing a spell that resurrected the honoured dead Watchmen of ages past; how the ghosts seemingly passing through walls and dirt and stone to do battle against the undead horde; and everything was resolved - like that. A neat and tidy bow.
Too neat and tidy of a bow. But hell if she cared.
She had approached Kirito the day after but it was clear the man was busy. He looked to be completely energised after all that hassle. She had bumped into him in the fort's hallway leading to the tower, where he had a meeting with Ser Reginald, Commander Emeri and Chief Fire Hawk of the Rumine when she bumped into him.
"Sinon-chan! Out hunting some necromancers?" he asked cheerily. Like, weirdly cheerful for a man who was pulling his hair for the last couple months.
"Nah, I think Ser Reginald and Asuna have that handled."
The sheer dogged determination Asuna had been doing to destroy any and all remnants of the Cult of the Great Worm That Inherits the World was impressive, so much so that the threat level had dropped to a minimum. News had reached the player base and low-level non-Frontline mercs were already swarming the place. They were going to be disappointed for not much of the cult had survived and the Castoridae League had gone further upwards; the few beavers on the Floor were hired-on hands more than anything else.
"Anyway," she patted her crossbow, "I'd better go find what little deer we can before we're wintered in."
That was only half the truth. Sinon wasn't out just hunting deer. She was hunting for a specific beast: a female bear.
No, not a dire-bear, or a super-bear, or the Great Bear God or whatever. Just a normal female bear.
It was said by the medicine women of the Fort that those who copulate on it tended to have better sex. Sinon at first doubted this, until she stole a peek at Argo's books and found there's a stat called «Sex Drive» where one could indeed have better sex. Something about how the Full Dive system was also supposed designed to be sold to porn companies.
And, well, she hadn't gotten laid in sometime, and if she was going to fuck Kirito it may as well be on the pelt of a she-bear.
She had one in her wagon, didn't even need to kill it either, just bought one off from a fellow hunter that was camping nearby, a rough mountain man looking bastard, coon cap and all. The NPC gave her a knowing look at her purchase, not unlike how the cashiers at the pharmacy when she bought condoms or birth control pills.
"Oh, you don't need to do that. We've got enough money to fill our stores thrice over!" said Kirito.
Sinon narrowed her eyes. "How much?"
The CEO looked left and right before leaning over and whispering into her ear.
"Oh. That's a lot."
"That is a lot lot. Two lots. Maybe even three lots."
"Enough to cover the million Col price tag?" asked Sinon.
"Enough for that, and the repairs, and enough cash for us to get on the road again!" he whispered/yelled in an almost childlike manner. She had to stop herself from pinching those baby cheeks of his. "Guess the necromancers needed to pay those beavers somehow. Robbed a tomb or fifty to get all that treasure. Now, it belongs to the Watch as is our right as victors."
"You sound like a general more than a merchant."
He shrugged. "Well, tomato tomato."
"One that barely survived a riot."
He sighed. "Why are you always so mean to me, Sinon-chan?"
"The other day you sold me a quiver of faulty arrows …"
"THAT WAS AGES AGO!" he shouted. "You'll be the death of me, woman."
Sinon smiled. "Well, it's still better to get some extra food."
As she turned to leave, she felt something wrapped around her waist. "Ah -"
She found herself pushed against the wall, Kirito pressing behind her. "K-Kirito -"
"You know, the other girls told me you wanted to do something with my behind." His voice was deep and husky, a far cry from the high pitched friendly salesman demeanor from mere moments ago. The smell of his shampoo was overwhelming. "Is it true?"
"S-someone could see us, idiot!"
"Is it true?" he repeated.
Sinon made no secret of it. "Yes."
Electricity arced through her spine as Kirito pressed his lips on her neck. Her fingers dug into the wall as she suppressed a shrill.
"What's with you and asses anyway?" Another kiss. "You could have laid with any other guy in this fort." Then another. "Yet for some reason, you're pining for me." A third, this one with teeth, making her shiver. "Sinon-chan, are you that horny of a woman?"
Fuck, he got her there. "It's called being determined."
"Mmm." This time, one of his hands snuck up to one of her breasts and it took all her willpower not to shout. Damn, it had been ages since she had gotten a lay. "Well, when you're done with that hunting trip of yours, we can have some … fun."
"I'm not brave enough to tussle with Discount Saber and that oversized Rat," she said, and her mind raced for over two dozen poisons she could use on them. "Gotta pick my time and place. Preferably with either of them stuck in a dungeon."
She felt his longer hair brushed against her cheek and delighted at the feel of it. Oh, to run her rough fingers through it and pull on it, make this twink scream.
"Oh, no need to be so devious. I'll deal with those two."
She felt his other hand palming her buttock making her legs wobbly. A low throaty moan filled with desire escaped her lips and no doubt the bastard had taken joy from that. Something was pushing between her ass and Sinon grinned despite it all. "Is that your knife or are you just happy to see me?"
She could hear him smile, the damn twink. "Have fun with your hunting trip, Sinon. I'll be waiting," he said, and gave her a peck on the cheek.
He released his arm from her waist, and when Sinon turned, he was gone.
When Sinon rode into the wild, she was in a most grumpy mood and grinding on her saddle a bit more than what was necessary.
That was a week ago and despite her penchant for the wilderness, all she could think of was Kirito. She never really intended to hurt him, at least, not in a Safe Zone. It'd be a waste of a pretty face, Asuna's rapier at her throat or no.
Even in her dreams, it was Kirito's face. His voice, his fingers on her, himself in her. That was before she used the pelt as bedding, the dreams became far more erotic when she was sleeping with it. Maybe there was truth to the myth. It was a fantasy game after all, anything was possible.
Sinon caught her cup before she dropped it into the fire. Damn him.
By mid-morning, she was on her back to the Fort with only one thing in her mind:
Kirito tied to her bed and shouting her name.
It wasn't just the slayer that was a bit grumpy and frustrated that morning.
There were a hundred places Argo would rather be right now: skulking around the great cities of Aincrad and duking it out with thugs and criminals; diving into a forbidden dungeon long sealed; playing cards in a smokey gambling backroom; wrestling with some village champion for shits or giggles; or even be right back at the fort, helping the people with anything they need.
Some folks might balk at the idea of hauling things what these people don't realise is that lifting heavy things and putting them down is good for the body and the soul.
Unlike the stack of papers in front of her. The words had become a blur as the man in front of her droned and drone, talking about profits, tax margins, logistics, and all that dreadfully boring stuff that always triggered an out of body experience. True, as an info broker, talking to people was always part of her profession, but bringing out secrets and hunting leads was what excited her, not this Chinese water torture …
She was brought back from the brink of death when the man snapped his fingers."Argo. Argo! Are you paying attention?"
"Of course I am!"
"Your eyes had rolled back into your skull and you were drooling."
"Thanks to this delicious breakfast, I'm having of course!"
The man looked down at her empty plates. "You finished those fifteen minutes ago."
"And I could go for thirds!" Argo snapped her own fingers. "Mama Bear! Oh, Mama Bear! El Rata requires more pancakes!"
Kanya, or Mama Bear as her patrons called her, already had a plate of steaming food in each hand as she put them on the table. She was cheerful as a flower in the sun. No doubt thanks to the influx of mercenaries in the area and all the business that comes with it. There was a small army working in her kitchen right about now. It wasn't actually too dissimilar from military kitchens at the Frontlines.
"Eat up, little Rat! You need all the energy to get you through winter!" she said, bringing Argo steaming plates of food.
"Thanks, Mama B," said Argo as she rubbed her hands and picked up her fork and knife again. The man before her exhaled and rubbed his temples.
"When Kirito-san sent you in his stead, he said you would be sufficient to go through all these deals we have …"
"Oh cheer up Marco-kun, and eat up! You barely touched your pancakes!" She sucked half a pancake as if she was a vacuum sucking up crumbs. "Look at you! All skin and bones! Can't do this on an empty stomach!"
Miyuki 'Marco' Kutaragi, guildmaster of the Aincradian Players Mercantile Guild, sighed. Both Fort Eternal Vigilance and the APMG had a deal regarding tournament related equipment and craftsmen. It was Marco himself who oversaw the deal between Mankhlar's smiths and the Fort when it came to it and Kirito had told her that had it not been for him, the tournament wouldn't have gone off at all, or at most not be as splendid as it was before.
He pushed up his glasses with a middle finger, a fashion statement more than any attempt of sight correction since SAO gave everyone perfect twenty-twenty vision. "Anyway, let's get to the brass tacks. So, the Watch has borrowed bla bla amount of grain, bla bla expenses in advertising, bla bla, bla bla bla …"
Aaaand Argo was gone.
The guildmaster had come to the fort to collect pay, and he would have had if the weather was a little kinder. A freak snowstorm had come and buried the road from the Bronze Axe Inn to the fort. It would have taken a dozen more draft horses to get through all that snow and luckily for Argo she had rented a room here just the night before.
"You sure? The weather looks clear, and you'd save some money," said Kirito last night. They were in the stables of the fort, most of the people now peacefully asleep as Argo readied her horse.
"Nah, my bones tell me there's gonna be a storm later tonight. Best get there before the road's snowed in." Argo, now dressed more akin to a barrel of wool, only rolled her eyes at his frugality. "Come on, we got all that money from the cave they were setting up. You can start wearing silks again."
"Maybe. I sold most of my wardrobe, and still need to get the money to rebuild the New Settlers' homes. We won't be here to see them finish it, but they'll get the materials and manpower they need," he said.
The merchant looked more like his old self over the days. Still that big smile, with those big brown eyes and boyish face. He was still a bit skinny overall thanks to restless stressful nights and what with the whole undead thing, but he looked to be coming back to his old self.
Argo shook her head. "Kii-bou, you big softie. That kindness is going to be the death of you."
"That's what you're here for, my big squirrel girl."
"I am not a squirrel. I am Rat. El Rato."
He cupped her cheeks and smooshed. "Oh, I dunno, you kinda look like a squirrel."
Now that he had said it, in her big fur coat and oversized hat, she kinda did. Not that she was gonna admit. "Noooo! I am Rat! Rato!"
"Rato is masculine, the correct term is rata."
"What are you, a green owl? Shut up." The bastard bird was always correcting her her English but Argo would let you know that she knew at least three dozen curse words, thank you very much.
She turned to leave, but Kirito had already wrapped his arms around her. "Hey, lemme go!"
He planted kisses on her head. "Rata! My little rata! You're so adorable in all that wool!"
"Noooo, I am not cute! I am the All-Knowing and Powerful Rat! I am brains and brawn combined!" she protested, flexing her sixteen inch biceps, but not even her impressive pythons couldn't have been visible through all that wool.
At that, he lifted all five feet of her off the stable floor, whirling her around. Her face was red and hot with embarrassment. She hated how short she was at times, and she definitely hated how much she was enjoying it.
He finally put her down and planted a chaste kiss on her forehead. "Aww, who's a cute little rata?"
"Kii-bou, stoooop. People will see …"
"Let them." This time, he leaned down and kissed her on the lips in a very not-at-all chaste way.
And just like that, a spark ignited.
She pulled him further into the corner of the stable. Damn her sensible winter wear, it was too much of a hassle to take it all of. Thankfully, Kirito was only wearing a simple jacket. In fact, he wasn't wearing a robe at all. Just a simple pair of tunic and pants. It's a wonder how he wasn't freezing in this cold. She was gonna warm him up right now.
Kirito chose to not fight at all, merely letting his ex-girlfriend (current girlfriend?) manhandle him. She trailed her hands under his loose shirt, feeling the contours of his body. Gone was that highschool heartthrob, the athlete where when he lifted the hem of his shirt to wipe away his sweat, half of the schoolgirls would screech in fangirlish joy just to peek at his abs.
Now, he became something like those soft pretty boy K-Pop singers. Argo admitted, those kinda boys weren't her type with their expensive haircuts, smooth skin and ton of makeup. But now … she could see the attraction. It was hard to believe Kirito was at the time one of the leading young kendoka in Japan.
"Mmm, tummy …" she muttered, planting kisses. There was still some muscle there, not much, but it existed. No rows of bricks but a hard plate (rewrite). "You know, I think I prefer this over your six-pack."
"You carry enough muscle for the two of us."
She remembered those unkind remarks where jealous schoolmates called her all sorts of terrible nicknames, how they said that Captain Kazuto of the kendo team would never date a girl as weird and brutish as her, that he deserved someone prettier or more feminine. Not Kii-bou, oh no, he was the one who pushed her to workout even more. Argo always hated how short she was, but if she couldn't grow tall, she could at least grow wide.
Her hands traveled up and down as she got more excited all the while Kirito planted more kisses on the top of her head, running his fingers through her blonde hair. She pressed herself against him and cursed the coat she was wearing. "Damn this extremely luxurious and well made coat."
"Whoa there, girl. Don't you have a meeting to go to?"
"Not gonna go until I get what I want," she said, pulling her right glove off with her teeth and sliding it down south.
"What are you - ah! Oh! Oh …"
Even in this cold he was hot, all that blood pumping downwards. "Don't worry, this will only take a second," she said.
"Argo, stop."
Green eyes flashed at his browns. "Do you really want me to?"
Silence. "No."
"Let me take care of you." She shot him a toothy grin. "Good to know that Full Dive conversion didn't change you at all down there."
His neck was red as was his face, and that triggered something primal in Argo. Old memories of quick trysts in abandoned classrooms or behind the school gym resurfaced. "Shut up and get it done," he growled.
Oh, how the tables have turned. "Nyehehe. Of course, my lord."
It came back to her like riding a bike. A very long and developed bike. Wait, that metaphor doesn't make much sense. Look, Kii-bou was packing, okay?
Credit to Kirito, he lasted much longer than she expected, but he turned into a quivering mess all the same. When she was done, his legs buckled under him as he slid down to the earth, breathing heavy. How vulnerable and weak he looked. It would take very little for Argo to have her way with him. But no, their proper first time together would not be in some cold and dark stable.
Argo helped him back up and re-tied his pants. "Iron grip as ever, I see," he said.
Even that little session had made her arm pumped up. She rolled down her sleeve, admiring the veins popping on her forearm; thick enough to break steel. "You know it."
His hair a mess, his chest heaving, his body sweaty, it did take quite the iron will for Argo not to take him right then and there.
Kirito leaned down, brushed a stray strand of hair away and kissed her on the lips. "Try not to sleep on the job, will you?"
"No promises."
"Argo. Argo!" She felt something hit her forehead only to realise that Marco had thrown a sugarcube at her. "Can we please get this done?"
She looked down at her plate and realised she had, once again, daydreamed while eating.
Argo burped, surprising everyone in the inn as they threw her glances of disgust. She wiped the syrup off her lips with a napkin. "What if we take ten instead? Maybe even thirty?"
Marco removed his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Fine. You'd think the famous Rat would know a thing or two about finances …"
"Oh, I do. I scored high on all my math and finance exams and was in the middle of pursuing a side-degree in accounting before changing my course to journalism."
What? You don't think a gal who ran a goblin rebellion didn't know her way around accounting ledgers and an abacus, did you?
Marco's head snapped back as if he was slapped. "Then why are you like this?!" he snapped.
"Cause you're boring, Marky-kun," she said, dusting off her hands and walking back to her room.
The Bronze Axe Inn suite was pushing it when it came to the title, but it was comfy, with a feather bed, a big window showing the forest, and enough amenities to give adventurers a well rested night The water of the bathtub had gone tepid, but the room was still comfortably warm thanks to a small brazier in the corner.
Argo stripped off her tight woolen pants, jumped into her bed, and stuffed a pillow between her legs, as she covered herself with the blanket. She imagined naughty, naughty things she would do to Kirito. She imagined the pillow was Kirito's head. She was going to hump this poor body pillow until she saw God.
Soon, Kii-bou, soon.
The smith inspected the rope through a magnifying glass, inspecting every detail of the strands. It takes at most eight minutes to inspect a single one of the strings, and though all of them were bought and brought to the fort, Lisbeth could already think of a dozen ways to make them better. She found it to be … satisfactory. "What if we replace the bows with steel ones?"
"Master Lisbeth, there's a reason the bows are made of wood. Even if we can get enough steel and the dwarven crafters to create one, it would be prohibitively expensive."
"Mmm, noted," she said, as she scratched the idea into her wax tablet, snapped the nib of her style, and cursed the cold weather. "Maybe we can get better rope for the ballista? How about spider silk?"
Master Kariwase sighed. "With all due respect, from one smith to another, I don't think we need to upgrade the ballistae at all. They're good as is! I doubt there will be another siege anytime soon!"
She let the tarp fall back onto the ballista and nodded. "Fine. Just trying to be careful."
"Of course, Master Lisbeth."
"These idiots better stick to their training schedule!"
"We have enough practice bolts for that and Master-at-Arms Robert will keep to it."
She looked out into the field, the carcass of that damnable siege tower still there after all these weeks. "And cut that thing down for firewood."
"It's a bit too drenched in snow to be of any use, maybe during summer."
"Oh, and add extra stakes to the northern part of the wall."
"Will do. Now, we've been on these damnable battlements for two hours, mayhaps we should take a tea break?"
Lisbeth stroked her chin thoughtfully. "How much work would it take to add in a moat with crocodiles?"
"Tea now, Master Lisbeth," the old man said a little too forcefully.
The two smiths found themselves in the canteen where they had a pot of chai tea. Kariwase had regaled her tales of his studying in colleges around the castle. He was indeed for the most part a recluse but perhaps on the account of her being a fellow smith had opened him up to her.
She felt the tea warm her body with every sip not unlike how a health potion made her body feel better. Damn that Kirito for getting her hooked on this. It was easily the cost of one tenth of her salary and rising with every passing month, and more during the winter.
And yes, Lisbeth knew that chai tea just translated into 'tea tea.' No need to point it out in the reviews, we all saw the movie.
Eventually, the topic turned to one thing she had hoped to avoid. "So, about the new smith of the Fort."
"I stand by my choice," she said firmly.
"Are you sure? I have other apprentices who could take up the trade."
"Very. We discussed this with Kirito, didn't we? It's bad enough he's doing this for minimum wage. Besides, if he messes up again, feel free to replace him.
The old man nodded and said no more of the subject, yet …
After the pot was emptied, Kariwase excused himself to visit the fort library and Lisbeth headed back into the smithy. Despite the previous battle, the smith had come out relatively unscathed. The smiths from Mankhlar, both human and goblins, had already returned to the big city, leaving a solitary smith working the forge.
From this distance, it looked like he was working on something, but without a hammer or tongs, though she couldn't exactly tell what it was. "You making a helmet?"
"A bowl, actually. It's made from clay."
Now that she had a good look at it, it was clear that it was just that. "Oh, decide to expand your skill repertoire? Good idea IRL, not so much in-game. Always gotta specialise."
"Oh, I agree, but Old Lady Ohkwáho said we were lacking bowls for everyone, what with the New Settlers burning their homes and stuff. Brave folks, them. I woulda just stayed back and fought them there."
"And get killed."
"And get killed, that too."
"Nya."
Nezha frowned at the cat snuggled in a box nearby. "Shut up, cat. I don't see you doing anything."
The tabby merely licked his pawn and rubbed its head before dozing off again.
Thanks to a (very) difficult series of arguing with the elf Kizmel, Kirito had somehow convinced the Royal Guard to not drag Nezha back to her home city and be executed. The merchant even outright told Lisbeth it was more difficult arguing with her than he did with Conotocaurius. It helped that Brother Rays was there to play lawyer again.
"You're already gotten that Heresiarch asshole in chains. Do you really need this one person, just a poor schmuck who got roped into this whole mess with you?" Kirito argued.
After Kizmel, Sinon and Argo bursted into the dungeon, the necromancer was all bark and no bite. Not having the offensive spells like Ava or Ramza, he had meekly surrendered as he was surrounded. The unnecessary bolt in his kneecap courtesy of Sinon also helped. He was then thrown into the fort dunjon, ten men guarding him at all times.
She remembered the elf being bemused at it all. "Fine. But he must work here to compensate for his crimes."
"Got it. He'll sign a contract to work for six months of community service."
"Make it ten years," the elf argued. "When I littered when I was a child, I had to do it for five years."
"Lady Kizmel, humans are not as long lived as elves are," the paladin argued. "Six months is more than sufficient."
"Fine. But I'm leaving my partner to oversee him, lest he commit any more mischief. Also, the fort must treat him like a guest of honour the whole time."
"Nya," her compatriot argued.
"Very well," said Kizmel, and she shook Kirito's hands. "But if he -"
"If he does harm oncemore, we'll draw and quarter him, we got it. Geez, you elves are bloodthirsty," said Kirito.
Overall, six months wasn't that bad but the mere thought Lisbeth would be trapped in this stupid video game for ten years terrified her to no end. The elf was already away, taking her necromancer prisoner along to meet some gruesome fate. Lisbeth can't say she cared all that much, even if Japanese society abolished the death penalty a decade ago. Shame about that mystery assassin though, wherever he was.
Taking the bowl out of the kiln, Nezha inspected it for cracks. "Hmm, not high art but it'll do. So, when are you leaving?"
Lisbeth looked out the smithy, seeing a small army of servants and Watchmen continuing to shovel the snow. "In a few days. We'll wait for Asuna and Sinon to come back, then we're off for the next floor."
Nezha put the bowl away. "You know, I don't get this, but why? Kirito's a lord in his own right, he can just stay here until someone beats the game. There's a hundred thousand players or thereabouts, chances are someone will get to the top floor one day."
She did wonder that, and tried as she might to figure him out, the crafty merchant remains still somewhat of a mystery to him. "I have theories, but honestly I've no idea either."
"You know, I still have a lot of work to do in a few days, and I was hoping to give it to you later but …"
He reached to a nearby shelf to retrieve something covered in cloth, something vaguely head shaped. "Here, this is for you."
Lisbeth blinked. "Oh. What is it?"
She pulled the cloth away and it took her breath away: it was a spangenhelm with spectacles, lovingly made and decorated. The spectacles of the helmet were painted white and the top of the helmet itself a bright pink. There were etches of floral prints on the spectacle itself, put with just a tiny bit of gold. The helmet was completed with an aventail. All in all, it was gorgeous.
"Ooooh! Nezha-kun, you shouldn't have!"
"A gift, from the student to the master. All made from the broken mail of the enemy, smelted down into this. Very symbolic, I know." He smiled sadly. "I'll miss you."
"I'll miss you too," she said, and hugged him, patting him on the back. "Rika."
"What?"
"My name's Rika Shinozaki."
He pulled himself away from her. "Nario Takeuchi."
They shook hands. "Nice to meet you, Nario-kun."
"You too, Rika-chan."
The mage apprentice Ava almost shrieked when she found someone sitting in the middle of the dungeon. "Ah, it's you. What are you doing here? Aside from admiring the gold, of course."
Kirito sat in the armchair in which he had spoken to Conotocaurius with. One leg over one knee, chin in palm, elbow on the armrest, deep in thought. He wore simple clothes but that was unnecessary, the gold inlaid into every mortar joint and the hard work of the mages had ensured the unnatural cold coming from the cell had ceased. Gone was the atmosphere of menace and dread, replaced by the usual discomfort of being deep underground. If anything, it was too warm.
"One million Col?"
"Hmm?"
"One million Col worth for the whole thing."
"That's right. You could send a hundred mages to the University with that money."
"Five thousand kilograms of gold."
"Yes."
"Why do you use the metric system anyway? Kinda weird to not use the imperial system in a fantasy setting. Do the French exist in Aincrad?"
"The metric system was invented by a merchant by the name of Metric, a market official in Aincradius' court. Ever since, we've been using her system since, at least that's what the legends say. Regardless, what is a … French?"
"Don't worry about it."
Silence reigned once more. "Anyway, the professor and I will be leaving in a week, after you leave of course. Just to make the final adjustments for the prison proper."
"Mmmh."
"You know, it was most impressive how you -"
Kirito raised a hand. "Ava, please. I told you, I dare not speak of my time speaking with the beast."
And once again, Ava tried knowing the futility of it. "But you must! The way you described the spell, it's as if it was imprinted directly into your mind! Even us wizards would have trouble memorising it."
Well yeah, that was because Kirito had the spell list right in his HUD complete with the commands. It was, by all accounts, bringing up console commands, picking HonouredDeadWatchNPCs, typing in raise dead NPCs and apply green shroud tint texture. He had performed more complex coding during his internship.
It was apparently cut content from a questline that wasn't finished. Hell, the Eternal Watch wasn't supposed to exist either because the whole questline wasn't completed when the game was launched. But all the AI for the NPCs, the scheduling, were all there for someone to complete it. It just happens to be that Kirito was that someone. As his old mentor had said, the NPC AI had become a bit more … sentient than he was expecting.
Still, he had to sell it to Ava. "Even my memories with the Prisoner haunt my dreams, to think of it is to give myself nightmares. Perhaps one day, I will help you write down this spell, but this day, or even tomorrow, but the future."
At last, the mage had relented. "Oh, very well. Do know that the University pays much for new spells!"'
"Yep."
"One more question?"
"Sure."
Her tone became grim. "How was it like dealing with Conotocaurius?"
Kirito mulled over for a moment before finally answering, "Like making a deal with the devil."
After the siege was lifted thanks to Asuna's efforts and the spirits of the dead, Tupi had the bright idea of repairing the resting places of the dead. Beneath the earth, the dungeon was warmer than the outside, and many a Watchman, a member of the Old Family or the New Settlers had taken an interest in the history of the Watch.
One of Old Lady Ohkwáho's great granddaughters had found a long lost tome, the Annals of one of the more illustrious of Tupi's predecessors. Though there was little treasure to be found (aside from luxurious prison of course), it had made people busy and that business would last them through the winter.
News of the action and the siege had already spread far and wide thanks to gossiping merchants, excited tournamer-goers and one very creative bard. Not three days ago, some villagers from another floor also had wished to pledge an oath to the Watch. Just yesterday, a messenger from some knight Kirito had never heard of had wished to induct his son into the order.
Kirito argued against this at first. "We do not have the money to host some knight's son! Especially when he's clearly trying to keep this brat away!"
When Tupi checked the letter again he explained, "The knight also says he wishes to make a generous donation to the Watch to keep his son here."
"How much?"
Tupi told Kirito how much.
"Write to Ser Reginald immediately and see if we can leverage our newfound fame for more wayward noble kids."
Was it inviting trouble getting a bunch of spoiled brats to stay at the fort? Probably. But it also meant more gold and that was always a good thing. Not that the fort needed that much gold anyway.
In total, there was about 200,000 Col for the Watch's coffers, all from looting the battlefield and the necromancer cult's last few dungeons. Enough to last a year, to pay the wages, to pay for food, and to keep everyone trained. Asuna had already a long term plan on some military operations the Watch could do, mostly guarding caravans, fighting off raiders and doing the odd dungeon dive, as well as working together with Fort Arrowhead. With the percentage the Watch itself gave to Kirito Corporation, they would be set for at least ten more floors, maybe twenty if Tupi played it right.
Kirito found himself back in his tower office. The sun was setting on his land. But no, it wasn't his, it was the Watch's. Lord may be an apt title, and though the likes of Ser Reginald and the surrounding Orage may accept him as chief, Kirito realised he was no such thing. The whole of Aincrad called to him and he would answer it.
Kirito, in his brief six months, had raised an ancient order from near extinction, greatly increased the living conditions of the people living here, attracted new settlers to the area without conflict, had the respect of the Orage, funded a successful tournament (aside from the riots anyway but who's counting) and summoned a goddamn ghost army straight from Middle Earth.
In short, Kirito had never been more financially secure. He could buy Asuna barding for her horse, he could get Sinon three more siege crossbows if she wanted, and he could get Argo … actually, he had no idea what «Brawler» builds like her use. Maybe some whey? She could never get enough of that when they were dating. Damn, that girl could eat.
Speaking of his growing harem - NO, it was not a harem. It was not. They were his friends. Friends that he loved very much and would love to ravish -
No. Friends. Like Asuna. Brave Asuna. Shining knight, luminous sword. How she even tolerated his bullshit for so long, he had no idea. She had the patience of a saint and can cook mouth watering dishes. Now that's the quality you'd want in a wife -
Kirito slapped himself hard. No, Asuna was her own woman. If she wanted to do her own thing and started her own damn warband she could and she would excel at it since she is a great warrior, a charismatic leader, and an excellent kisser -
The CEO snatched his tea cup from his desk and downed it. Damn, he needed more chai. Maybe she could ask Lisbeth for some, he was running low.
Kirito settled in his chair and found that there was no more work to be done. No letters to write, no ledgers to manage, no accounts to balance, and most importantly, no angry necromancers to fight off. On the edge of his desk was a case with an amulet, a chip of the dragon tooth that Brother Rays used as a club.
He and the pyromaniac sisters had already left a day ago, taking the Staff of the Heresiarch and the Books of Sadosma and Mmatmuor with him, the tomes locked in a thick iron chest and bounded in magic chains. The paladin had left him the amulet to ward off evil. Whether it was a metaphorical or real, he needed to get the thing identified for the proper stats.
Brother Rays said he needed to report the whole incident to his Grandmaster, and for much for his half-Orage background, he missed his brothers-in-arms and the heat of the desert. Same went for Abbess Natalya and her nuns and the old battleaxe left a jar of Holy Fire as a gift.
Maybe Sinon could use it. She always likes grilling the odd bison. Ah yes, Sinon.
In truth, Kirito honestly could not remember the first time he met her. She said he had sold her a quiver of faulty arrows and honest to God, he had no idea that was the case. Kirito prided himself in selling quality products so the fact he missed it was a good reminder he wasn't infallible.
He remembered those piercing blue eyes, the weapon shoved in his face, and the sheer killing intent behind it. It turned him on immensely. Something about women who could just kill him, y'know?
If Asuna made for a good wife, Sinon would have been the opposite. Her habit of just leaving for days on end, her cold demeanor matching the coolness of her eyes, and that perpetual resting bitch face scared people away. That, and her very clear desires of bedding him and having her way with him. She was good with rope too, and he always wanted to try ropeplay …
Their little risque tryst in the halls was to put her in her place and he knew she liked it too. Kirito had become far too impatient as of late. Surrounded by three pretty girls who wanted him, a hormone-addled eighteen year old could only do much.
Asuna's warmth and Sinon's coldness. Even their hair colour contrasted each other.
Then there was Argo in the middle.
Ah, sweet, sweet Akiko. If he closed his eyes and thought of her, Kirito could swear he could smell her scent. Being a tireless athlete and something of a tomboy, she didn't often wear perfume of any kind, deciding to pick the cheapest deodorant to smear on and save money by buying soap for kids; something Kirito made fun of her once, got kicked in the leg viciously and never again. The one time she did was when they went on their first date, and seeing this tiny girl in a dress she clearly wasn't comfortable with exposing thick arms only made him love her more.
She often smelled of sweat. Hitting the bag at her pops' gym, eating far too many burgers and ramen for someone her size, and watching an old martial arts flick (usually starring Cindy Rothrock or Michelle Yeoh) afterwards at her room, a stack of ancient DVDs being watched on an equally ancient CRT TV was one of the highlights of their relationship.
Speaking of which, that time in the stables. Even thinking about it was making him excited. If he thought hard enough, he could feel her heat on him, the scent of her hair and her strong grip on his -
His imagination went wild. All three of them in lingerie, staring at him like a piece of meat while Kirito himself was completely naked. He felt his pants tightened and -
Kirito's eyes shot open as he heard a knock on the door. Cursing, he took a nearby blanket and draped it over his lap. "Come in."
It was an NPC messenger. "Lord Kirito, a message from the Royal Guard Kizmel. Your eyes only."
Oh, God. Not her again. "What does she want?"
Smiling, the courier produced a bottle from his back. "She has sent a gift. Said it was for you only."
Kirito may not be a heavy drinker but he could appreciate the odd glass of wine. Taking it from the steward, he checked the letter that came with it. Unfurling the scroll, it said in very pretty handwriting:
Lord Kirito of the Eternal Watch, CEO of the Kirito Corporation,
Apologies for my hasty departure, but you must know that justice must be swift and precise. The necromancer known as the Heresiarch of the Cult of the Great Worm That Inherits the World is currently in chains and the court of the land has deemed him guilty and for execution. He is not long for the world.
My report to the Lords of Oakhome has piqued their interest; they were surprised that you a 'mere merchant' (their words not mine) was able to fend off a great horde. My own lord was most impressed with you. I may send you more letters so we may speak of business opportunities.
As a gift, I present to you a bottle of «Lovers' Embrace»: an exquisite sample brewed from the magic grapes grown at the finest vineyards of Oakhome, sure to invigorate you for any romantic nights with your lovers. As someone who has sampled it myself, I can assure you of its efficiency. This is the magic of the elves, unknown to the children of Man.*
May we meet again, merchant prince.
Sincerely,
Kizmel, Knight of the Royal Guard, Swallow of Oakhome
*It's a powerful aphrodisiac. Consume carefully and in little doses, one shotglass for one tussle, as recommended by the brewer.
Kirito blinked. "The magic is wine."
"Pardon?" asked the courier.
"Nothing, nothing." He frowned at the courier. "You're a little too heavily armoured to be courier, aren't you?"
The courier shrugged his mailed shoulders. "One can never be too careful on the road," he said.
"Wait a sec, weren't you with Asuna? Heathcliff, right?"
The one known as Heathcliff bowed. "Yes, lord. I am currently working part time for the fort as extra help for the near future. As a messenger, as you can tell."
"Well, here is something for your troubles," said Kirito, reaching into his drawer and throwing a pouch of coins on his desk. He loved doing that shit.
"You are most kind, lord."
Heathcliff reached for the pouch only to have his hand pinned to the table with Kirito's bowie knife, instantly turning the courier's hand gold.
"Wait, how did you -"
"Really, Kayaba? Really? Heathcliff? You used that name for your Fighter PC while we were playing tabletop! No wonder your name sounded familiar back in the jousting tournament!"
Kayaba merely raised his hand and wrenched the bowie knife from Kirito's grip. He pulled the offending blade out and the golden hand turned back to normal. "Huh, I gotta admit, I didn't think you'd remember."
"We played that campaign on and off for almost a year." Kirito looked the man up and down. "Hell, you even look the same as your PC."
At that, Kayaba laughed. "Sharp, Kazuto-kun, sharp." He tossed the bowie knife back on the table. "I recharged that, by the way."
"Don't give a shit. Get out."
"What? Can't two old friends catch up? Godhood is boring, I found out."
Kirito folded his arms back to his chest. "Didn't you once tell me that GMPCs is something the Game Master should never put in a campaign?"
"Being the Eternal GM gets boring, you know that. Besides, it's not like I gave myself OP stats or whatever. Ask Asuna."
"You're just here to remind us of our deal. You could just send me a PM."
"What, a guy can't hang with his friend?"
"We are not friends." The merchant stabbed a finger the door. "Get."
"But …"
"Get! Before I call the guards!" For all the good that would do, Kirito thought, but Kayaba seemed to be honest about the not being OP thing.
The god of Aincrad sighed and slumped his shoulders. "Ah, Kazuto-kun, you're so mean. But we'll meet again, one day! Don't forget our deal!"
As Kayaba reached the door, Kirito called out to him. "Wait!"
The man's face split into a smile. "Do you want to talk about game design again?"
Kirito pointed to his teapot. "Fill that up before you leave, would you?"
Meeting: On the Agenda of the Changing of Administration of the Eternal Watch
Date: 18th of November 2052, 12:00 pm
Location: Floor 16, Fort Eternal Vigilance, Steward's Office
Chairperson: Kirito, CEO of the Kirito Corporation
Secretary: Lisbeth, Smith
In attendance:
Staff:
Tupi, Steward of the Eternal Watch
Asuna, Head of Security, Board Member
Sinon, Head of Hunting, Board Member
Argo, Head of Intelligence, Board Member, Head Advertiser
Robert, Master-at-Arms
Council:
Ser Reginald Warwick, Lord of Fort Arrowhead
Professor Ramza, Head of the Department of Wards and Curses
Old Lady Ohkwáho,
Master Yeoman Pierre Dupont,
Notes on meeting:
1. Commander Asuna has stepped down and handed down the role to Hwiatha as Warchief of the Eternal Watch. Troop wages are to be increased by 15% and officer wages up by 20%. Recruitment drive for next year is to increase troop count to 2000 troops. Troops are to be expected to adhere to new training schedule rigorously. Sheriffs are expected to keep the peace as standard, with allowance of deputies for each sheriff.
2. Contract of mutual security between Fort Arrowhead and Fort Eternal Vigilance has been renewed. The forces of the Watch and Ser Reginald will work together to fend off dangers on the 15th Floor and nearby remaining floors. Troop exercises between forts to be conducted once a season.
3. Contract of maintenance between the University of Medina An-Nur to be done once a year, with no gold limit to keep the Prisoner bound. Permission to emergency funds for maintenance allowed.
4. The Tournament of Wicasa the Wise to occur annually. Refer to the previous document of running a tournament. Ensure increased security and food inspection.
5. Head of Advertisement Argo to launch an advertisement campaign to herd low level players to the fort, thereby ensuring a steady source of revenue for the Watch and training for newbie players.
6. Stud program to be conducted on Watch lands, with help from Chief Fire Hawk of the Rumine. Mustangs should make up 70% of the Watch's cavalry force and 30% for heavy cavalry. Training to be done with Fort Arrowhead in regards to heavy cavalry training and Rumine horse archers for light cavalry.
7. 15% of the Watch's profits to be given to the Kirito Corporation by way of the Aincradian Players Mercantile Guild. Profits given to the corporation to be suspended in times of war, famine and other related hardship.
8. Tomorrow morning, the Watch will see the Kirito Corporation off, wishing them well for further business ventures.
Adjournment:
The meeting was adjourned at 3:30 pm.
Submitted by: Lisbeth, Smith
Approved by: Kirito, CEO
I admit, kinda surprised this one being at least a thousand words longer than the last chapter. Also, because FFN can't handle this decaying website, I only got the one review for the last chapter. So I appreciate it if y'all can give some love to this one. I have been working on this arc for close to two years now. Since chapter 8, back in ye olde November 2021. How time flies, huh?
And yes, THE chapter will hopefully be next month. No, I won't post it (most) of it here, for reasons obvious. I'm already worried I crossed a line with that stable scene there. Let me know if you liked it.
Until then, see you all next month.