Chapter 23

Jon Snow Stark POV

Dany walks into our apartment after finishing ip her last final, we both finished the semester today. I think I did okay, it mainly just feels good to be done.

"Hey babe," I say when she walks in. "How was your test?"

"I think it went well, but I never know for sure," she says, setting her bag down. "I thought about taking a shift at work since they asked me, but I decided I just wanted to relax."

"Good," I say. "I want to hang out with you."

She smiles and sits on the couch next to me. "Me too," she says, leaning her head on my shoulder. "I wanted to ask you something."

"What is it?"

"Jaime and Cersei are having a birthday party over the break," Dany says. "Would you mind if we went together?"

"I guess," I say. "If it wouldn't be awkward."

"Why would it be?" She asks.

"I just know Cersei isn't a huge fan of me," I say. "And I know it's tense between her and Jaime right now. I just don't want to make it worse."

"A lot of people from high school will be there," she says. "You can bring whoever you want, it'll be easy to distract yourself and not have to deal with them."

"They don't care if I bring people?"

"No," she says. "They probably wouldn't even notice."

"Then yeah, I don't mind," I say. "I'll probably bring Sam and Tormund, and maybe Gendry."

"You could also invite Gilly," Dany says. "I would hate for her to feel left out."

"I don't know that she'd want to come," I say. "She might have to watch the baby. Or worse, she'd want to bring Ygritte too. Plus, I know that stuff isn't really her scene."

"Just know that they can come if they want," she says. "I know Gilly probably won't, I just didn't want her to think she wasn't included."

"Okay, noted," I say. "I'll make sure Sam knows that. It means a lot to me."

"I'm past the point of caring what Cersei thinks," Dany says. "If she doesn't like you being there, she can suck it."

"I appreciate that," I say. "But it is still her house."

"It's basically my house too," she says. "I grew up with them, she's not going to challenge me."

"Okay," I say, chuckling. "If you say so."

There's a pause. "Are you nervous about seeing your family over the break?" Dany asks. "Especially since it's much longer than Thanksgiving break?"

"Yeah," I say. "I don't know how to face either of my parents, especially my dad."

"I'm sorry this is happening," she says. "What have you been thinking since Thanksgiving?"

"That I can't believe my dad lied to me this much," I say. "I know he did it to protect me, but it still makes it really confusing to look back on my childhood."

"Do you want a relationship with him?"

"Yeah," I say. "He's the only father I've ever known, he's all I have."

"Not all you have," Dany says. "You have me forever."

"I know," I say, kissing her temple. "Of course I know that, I just meant he's always been the most consistent person in my life. My mom was resentful towards me, and I love my siblings, but they don't understand."

"I know it's a lot to take in," Dany says. "But you know you can stay with me whenever you want right?"

"Your dad doesn't mind that I'm there so much?"

"Not at all, he likes you," she says. "And he's not always there either. Either way, he likes having the company."

"That's good to know," I say. "I love you."

"I love you more."

"Not possible."

I really do love Dany so much, and I know her family can become my family. I know she loves my family, especially Sansa and Arya. I hope she doesn't feel like she has to take sides, she definitely doesn't. Sansa and Arya didn't do anything, and they love her. No matter what happens with me and my family, they love having her around and I know she's a good influence on them.

I do love my dad, and I don't want to lose him despite how angry and confused I am. They're the only family I have, I can't imagine just cutting them off. I wish he had handled things better, but I know my dad has a good heart in the end. I just wish I didn't have to pick up the pieces of everything.

Tyrion Lannister POV

I just wrapped up my last final, I think it went well. Jaime and I are leaving for winter break tonight, Cersei's going to join us next week. She and Dany have a couple shifts they were scheduled for.

Oberyn drops me off at Jaime and Cersei's place. I agreed to meet Jaime there, but I kinda wish he could've come to my place so I didn't have to deal with Cersei.

"Have a good break," Oberyn says. "Good luck with everything."

"Thanks, you too," I say, opening the car door. "And I'll need it."

I knock on the door and I hear Jaime yell, "Come in!" I walk in, Jaime's packing up some stuff last-minute and Cersei is on the couch with a beer.

"Hey," I say to Jaime. I look over at Cersei. "Dude, it's 10 a.m."

"Did I ask for your fucking opionion?" She responds. "I haven't drank in 4 days."

"Wow," I say sarcastically. "That's got to be some kind of record."

"Shut up," she says. "I didn't want this to get infected." She sticks her tongue out, and I see she got a piercing. That actually surprises me.

"Ew," I say. "You actually did that?"

"I told her it wasn't cute," Jaime says. "Don't waste your breath."

"Bronn got it for me as a birthday present," she says. "I've been wanting to for a while."

"Whatever," I say. I turn back to Jaime. "Are you ready or what?"

"Yeah, let's go," Jaime says, grabbing his bag. "Bye Cersei, I'll see you next week."

"Bye," she says, not looking at him and taking a swig from her beer.

Jaime and I walk out and get into his car. "Are you looking forward to break or dreading it?" He asks me as we start to drive off.

"A little bit of both," I say. "I probably won't speak to father, but hopefully I won't have to see him much."

"I don't think you will," Jaime says. "You know he's never been around much."

"Except for when I was with Shae," I say. "He started being around a lot more when she was, now I know why."

"I'm still so sorry," he says. "You have every right to hate our father."

"And I do, more than I even used to," I say. I take a pause, it makes me upset to talk about this and I want to change the subject. "I'm sorry things with Cersei have been so toxic, has it gotten any better?"

"Not really," Jaime says. "She's out with Bronn most of the time now, and when she's not we're either arguing or it's just really tense."

"Do you miss the good parts?"

He pauses, I can tell he didn't expect me to ask that. "Sometimes," he says. "But I feel like we'll never get back to how we used to be, we've been through too much and she's a completely different person now."

"Do you want to move out?"

"Yes and no," he says. "I know it would be less stressful for me, but I worry about her. I still care about her too much to leave her alone like that."

"Are you optimistic about starting things up again with Brienne?" I ask.

"Yeah, I really like her," he says. "And I'm ready to actually be with her fully."

"I believe in you," I say. "Just don't let Cersei get to close, even though I know they'll have to interact at your birthday party."

"Believe me, I know better than to do that," he says. There's a pause. "So are there any girls you're interested in at school?"

"No," I say. "It would be nice if I met someone I guess, but it's not a priority for me right now."

"I hope you find someone," Jaime says. "I was worried you swore off dating after Shae."

"No, I've had a couple hookups at parties," I say. "I'm just enjoying my life and enjoying being single right now."

"That's not such a bad thing."

I'm glad Jaime and I got to talk and that we'll get to spend time together without Cersei around all the time. I know Jaime will always have a soft spot for Cersei, but I'm glad he's distancing himself from her. It's good for him to branch out and finally date someone else who isn't so toxic.

I meant what I said, I'm not super interested in dating right now. I guess meeting someone would be nice, but Shae did honestly ruin my trust in women and relationships for a while. I hope it's not ruined forever, but I haven't had much luck with dating in general so I'm not optimistic.

Jaime Lannister POV

It's good to be back, and I'm kinda relieved I get a break from Cersei for the first chunk of the break. I feel bad saying that, but it's the truth. I'm also glad I got some time with Tyrion just us, we've hardly gotten any time together lately. I get that we're both living our own lives now and I'm glad he's happy, but I still wish that we could see each other more.

I'm meeting with Brienne today. Ramsay asked me to hang out with the guys, but I want to prioritize Brienne and I don't even like Ramsay that much. Plus, the guys will be at my birthday party so I'll definitely get to see them. I guess I just feel like I've outgrown them lately.

Brienne wanted me to pick her up from the gym, I pull up to the front and wait outside in my car. A couple minutes later, she walks out, waves at me and gets into the passenger's seat.

"Hey," she says. "I would kiss you, but I'm a little sweaty."

"That's okay," I say. "It's good to see you, how was your workout?"

"It was good," she says. "I just want to keep up my routine during the holidays as much as possible."

"Not a bad idea," I say. "So what do you want to do?"

"I kinda want to shower," she says. "I planned on showering at the gym, but my workout ended up taking longer than I expected."

"Oh okay, that's fine," I say. I pause, because that gives me an idea. "You know, maybe I could join you in that task."

"Jaime," she says, avoiding eye contact with me. "I actually wanted to talk to you about that."

"Okay, what's up?"

"I was hoping we could maybe ease back into that stuff," she says. "You know, not rush back into it immediately."

"Alright," I say. "Can I ask why? We're dating now, and we've already done that stuff."

"I know," she says. "But you were my first. That meant a lot to me, and you really hurt me. A lot more than I admitted before."

"I'm sorry," I say. "You know that, I've said that."

"And I believe you," she says. "I just want to wait until we've built a more solid relationship, especially with how quickly you changed your mind before."

"Are you going to bring that up all the time?" I ask. It probably came off in a meaner way than I meant it, but I feel like we can't move past it if she keeps bringing it up.

"I feel like I have a right to be wary this time around," she says. "I like you, but I don't want to experience the same thing twice."

"What does that have to do with us sleeping together?"

"I want to wait until we've been together a few weeks or so," she says. "At least if you change your mind before then, it won't hurt as much for me."

I guess I can see where she's coming from there, and I know that I'll just sound like a dick if I protest too much. I do like her a lot, maybe she kind of has a point.

"Okay," I say. "Then we can wait, I understand I didn't mean to be inconsiderate."

"It's fine," she says. "Thank you for being understanding about it."

"Of course," I say. "I really like you and want to make it right this time around, I hope you know that."

"I believe you," she says. "I hope you understand why I feel the way I do."

"I do," I say. "I'm just glad to be able to have more time with you over this break."

"Me too."

We start driving back to her place. "Are you still okay with coming to Cersei and I's birthday party in a couple weeks?" I ask. "I know we talked about it a little over text, but I just wanted to make sure."

"Yeah," she says. "I just am worried it'll be awkward."

"It might be a little bit," I say. "But nothing weird will happen, it'll just be people from high school and Cersei's boyfriend will be there."

"I guess I just also feel weird being older than everyone," she says. "I might just stop by and say hey for a minute."

"Whatever you're comfortable with," I say. "I'd love to have you there."

She smiles at me. "You're sweet."

I hope she does stay longer at the party, it'll look weird if she's barely there and Bronn is there the whole time. I'll definitely feel awkward about that, but I don't want to sound like I'm pressuring her to do anything.

We drive back to her place and I wait on the couch while she showers and gets dressed like a weirdo. We might as well be just friends, but I like her enough to wait this out for at least a little bit. It just wasn't something that I was expecting her to ask of me.