THE SWEETEST SPIRIT
Hello again. I'm happy to be here with you. Today, I would like to give you one-shot story, that came to my mind recently. I mentioned before, that this is going to be a weekend of soppy writing, so here we go. Antoher sentimental story.
Story summary: When the tragedy strikes at the Crawley house, Charles and Elsie are both trying to cope with it and the best way for them, is to do it together. My own, extended version of the scene from episode 5, of season 3.
Legal note: I do not own any rights to the DA characters, but you know that by now ;-)
As difficult as it was to believe that, it was true. No matter how much they would not want it to be. Woken up in the middle of the night, by this terrible news, that Lady Sybil has passed away, due to the complications, after giving birth to a baby girl.
Elsie and Charles were the one who find out first and with a very heavy hearts, they had to do what was their duty, first to woke up everyone and told them to gather in the kitchen, not giving the reason and then, to announce this terrible news, which was an absolute bombshell for everyone.
There were shocked faces, there were tears, there was despair in the eyes of the Downton servants, but as always, Charles and Elsie had to be the one who needed to stay calm and not show how this incredible loss has saddened them both.
After all, they were the ones who knew Lady Sybil the longest. Charles was already a member of staff, when this adorable girl came into this world and when Elsie came to work to the house, Sybil was just three years old and even though she never admitted that to anyone, she was her favorite.
After the announcement and Daisy's question to Charles, about what they should do right now, which sounded like a request for giving them all direction, to reassure them, that in spite of this tragedy, they need to move on, the rest of the servants gathered in smaller groups, to discuss this awful event, or simply stay silent, trying to process the shock.
Elsie gave Daisy a warm hug, as the youngest one from the staff really needed that and Elsie had some of the mother instinct, even though she was never a mother herself. She passed grieving Anna and Thomas in the hall, a little surprised, with Thomas's reaction-it wasn't everyday, that he was authentically sad about anything.
She didn't want to disturb them in this moment, but involuntary she did. She simply asked to not mind her, adding, that the sweetest spirit under this roof was gone and that she was weeping herself, which was true.
Now that the official part was over, she could let herself fall apart completely and this would probably happen, if it wasn't for the thought, that she had to be with him right now. She paced straight to Charles's pantry, knowing, that he was as devastated as she was and being aware, that he will do what he was always doing in such moments, hiding away from everyone.
He didn't want to see anybody, but she was the exception. Actually he was kind of hoping, that she will join him, he was waiting for her, because she was the only one from the staff, who knew Lady Sybil almost as long as he did and there was nobody else, that he could, or wanted to share his grief with at the moment.
He felt relief, when she entered his pantry, with tears in her eyes and despair written all over her face. The last thing in this world, that he would want to see, was her sadness, but at this moment, it was comforting for him to know, that there was another person downstairs, who understood what kind of lost they suffered from today.
She entered and closed the door behind her, although it wasn't really necessary. After all, it was a middle of the night and in a moment like this, both of them were sure, that neither of those normal, irritating interruptions, that they usually had to deal with, will happen.
Nobody will knock these doors, nobody will want anything from them, as everyone needed some quiet and alone time right now.
"Are you all right Mr Carson?"- Elsie asked, although she already knew the answer to that question. Just one look at him was enough, to tell that he was far from being all right.
"I knew her all her life you see. I've known her since she was born."
Elsie touched his forearm gently and he he put his hand on hers. It was most definitely the closest pysical contact, that they had since they have been working together in the same house. Normally, their behavior was limited by all those rules, that Charles liked to obey, so any physical contact, was out of the question, but on this night, it didn't matter much.
At this moment, they were not a butler and the housekeeper of the Abbey, they were simply two people, who were mourning the loss of the beautiful and kind young woman, that they knew ever since she was a little girl.
Nobody from the downstairs team, had so many memories of Lady Sybil. As they were standing there, together, those images keep popping in their heads- Lady Sybil as a new born baby, Lady Sybil as a toddler, learning how to walk, Lady Sybil as a young, sweet girl, who liked to visit them downstairs, to play hide and seek and ask for some candies, Lady Sybil always willing to talk to them, as they were equals.
Those were some very precious memories, that they've both shared and it brought even more tears to their eyes...Finally, Elsie was the one who broke the silence:
"You are looking very pale Mr Carson...I think it would be a good idea to sit down"
"I'm not going to faint, if that's what you are afraid of..."
"I'm not afraid of that, but please do sit down..."
Charles didn't protest further, he did what Elsie wanted him to do...Her heart melted, when she noticed the traces of tears on his cheeks and she took out her handkerchief from her bathrobe. Initially, she was going to hand it to him, so he could wipe the tears himself, but suddenly, led by some kind of instinct, she decided to do it herself, not even considering for a moment, if this was inappropriate behavior.
She unfolded the handkerchief and applied it gently to his face, getting rid of the tears and he closed his eyes, wishing that this moment would last...
Her touch was something that he needed right now, any kind of touch, any kind of closeness with her, this was one of the times, when his love for rules, lost with a simple human need of tenderness. He felt weak and vulnerable and he knew, that she was the only one who could lead him through this moment of pain.
She was hurting too, but in spite of that, she was totally focused on comforting him. Death of Lady Sibul left a dagger into her heart, but Elsie was aware, that it must have been even harder for Charles, so once again, her instinct of taking care of everyone won.
Once she wiped away his tears, she did something, that was even much more bold- she opened her arms widely, showing him, that he can hide away there, to chase this despair and he took this opportunity and he let her cuddle him closely..He put his head on her chest and closed his eyes again.
Words were not necessary now, her closeness, the warmth of her body, her scent and her loving arms, was all that he needed...
An awful thought entered his mind-that regardless of the tragedy, it was worth to have this moment with Elsie, but he immediately scolded himself for it and that was the last thought that he had. He cleared his head and let himself sink completely in this.
His eyes were still closed, so all his other senses were sharp, he felt her closeness so clearly and it was the most wonderful feeling, that he could ever imagine...Her head was a little above his own and he could swore, that for a moment he felt her lips on his hair...He wasn't sure if that was true, but it didn't matter...
The most important was, that she managed to take his mind of this tragedy and that her love was enough for him to know, that even though what happened, they must still carry on...Just as he told Daisy few moments ago...He was the author of those words, but there was a moment, when he wasn't sure, if he will be able to carry on, but right now, being in Elsie's arms, he knew, that with her love he had a strenght to carry on...
He didn't move or say anything, wanting to prolong this moment for eternity, being afraid, that if he will move, she will let him go and that was the last thing that he wanted. But Elsie wasn't willing to end this moment too, because she needed this as much as he did and so they continued to comfort each other, wordlessly...
The sweetest spirit under this roof was gone, but as it turned out, not all the sweetness in this house was gone, because for both of them, there couldn't be anything sweeter, than the awareness, that in the mist of the tragedy, they still had each other...
That's all for this one...I told you that it's going to be sentimental...Of course, I will still believe, that even though we had this wonderful scene with Elsie and Charles, comforting each other after Sybil's death, it was cut in the best moment, so as always, I decided to do a little amendment for Lord Fellowes. Hope you liked this one. Have a nice week everyone!