Prompt: Hospital/Bandaid (2023)

Takano Masamune may have misjudged Nao Kiyomiya just slightly. Who he thought was a valiant rival with ten years of knowledge and experience with Ritsu that he himself was missing...

"-and this is when Ritsu and I ended up getting matching casts on our arms when I convinced him to try parkour-"

...turned out to be a massive idiot.

Takano didn't understand how he ended up in this situation. When Nao knocked on his door saying that Ritsu was visiting his parents for the day and that he was ' bored so the two of them ought to take the opportunity to spend some time together', Takano's first instinct was to close the door on his face. However, he hesitated when noticing the photo album in Nao's hands.

"Oh, it's pictures of me and Ritsu! Back in high school mostly. I had a really crappy Polaroid back then, but I thought you might like to see them." Nao had said with a smile.

Takano didn't know what Nao was playing at, at that point, but he would be a fool to let that kind of opportunity pass by him. So, he ended up begrudgingly letting Nao into his home, preparing tea for the both of them (Takano had lied and said he only had black tea when Nao stated a preference for green), and sitting on the couch with him as Nao flipped through the album...which mostly consisted of pictures of him and Ritsu either before or after they had gotten hurt in some way.

"Oh, Ritsu was so mad at me here." Nao said with a laugh, pointing at a slightly fuzzy picture of Nao in a hospital bed, pulling a grumpy Ritsu into frame to take the photo.

"How did you end up in the hospital?" Takano asked, dreading the answer.

"I tried the tide pod challenge." Nao said matter-of-factly as he flipped to another picture.

"...the thing where you eat soap?"

"Yeah. That was the one thing I couldn't convince Ritsu to try with me." Nao said.

Oh my fucking God. How is this guy alive. He has to have brain damage, Takano thought, hesitantly looking at the next picture which featured the two teens, Ritsu looking embarrassed as he held a gallon of milk in each hand and Nao looking excited. "What's with this one?"

"Oh, it was this thing where you try to chug a gallon of milk and not throw up." Nao said.

"Why...would you do that..." Takano was going to have a stroke.

"Just to see if we could. We did it again when that banana and sprite challenge thing was trending for a bit." Nao said.

"And...did you two throw up?" Takano asked hesitantly, not really sure if he wanted to know the answer.

"Oh, yeah, definitely." Nao answered. "Oh, and this is when our arms got burned from trying the salt and ice challenge. I didn't actually think it would work, but wow it really hurt." He said, pointing at a picture where he and Ritsu were both holding up their arms with burn marks.

I don't know what that is but I am not going to ask, Takano thought miserably. "Do you have pictures where you and Ritsu aren't trying to hurt yourselves?" He asked.

Nao got quiet for a moment as he turned through the pages of the album a little more quickly, skimming over them and slowly shaking his head. "Nope! Doesn't look like it." He said, clearly not seeing the issue with that.

How did Ritsu survive his time over seas with this idiot. Oh my God. This moron could have killed him, Takano thought miserably. Now he wanted Nao out of Ritsu's apartment for an entirely different reason.

"Did you ever do stupid things like this as a teenager, Saga-san?" Nao asked. At first, Takano thought calling him by his previous surname was meant to be some kind of jab, but in light of this recent conversation he was starting to think that it was Nao's obvious stupidity.

"No." Takano stated firmly, not even bothering to correct him on his name.

"What? Not even once?" Nao asked.

"No." Takano repeated, trying not to melt into total misery. He could hardly believe Ritsu let himself be convinced to try any of this!

"Oh. Huh." Nao said, as if he couldn't believe that someone wouldn't participate in such complete nonsense. He closed the photo album and looked to Takano with a smile. "Well, then what were you like back then?" He asked with genuine curiosity.

Ritsu, please come home soon to take this idiot off my hands. And then kick him out of your apartment so he doesn't kill you, Takano silently prayed.

When Ritsu walked down the hall from the elevator back to his apartment later that evening the one thing he was not expecting was for Nao to be coming out of Takano's place.

"Thanks for hanging out with me, Saga-san! I had a lot of fun. Let me know if you want a copy of any pictures of Ritsu."

"I do not."

"Aw, why not? I mean, they're not the best quality, but - oh, hey Ritsu!" Nao noticed him and waved with his free hand, the other holding a photo album that documented nearly all of Ritsu's high school shame.

Takano stepped out a bit from his doorway when hearing that, looking toward Ritsu with the look of a disapproving parent. "Onodera."

"Ah, g-good evening Nao, Takano-san..." Ritsu said, standing stiffly. Don't tell me Nao actually showed him those photos, I'll wither away from embarrassment, Ritsu lamented.

"Oh! Takano-san, that's right, damn it! Why didn't you say something? Ugh, I'm so sorry, I keep forgetting." Nao said, the tension going right over his head.

Takano held back a deep sigh. "It's fine." He said.

"W-What were you two doing?" Ritsu asked, trying to sound casual and curious, but his voice was pinched.

"I was just showing Takano-san," Nao smiled as if he were proud of himself, "some pictures from when we were in high school! Him and I are gonna be the best of friends before you know it." Nao said, slinging an arm around Takano's shoulders casually. Takano had an intense thousand yard stare, trying his best not to wish for Nao's immediate obliteration.

"Oh, that's - uh - nice." Ritsu said, hoping for Nao's well being that he would move away from Takano soon.

"How was your visit with your parents?" Nao asked.

"It was fine, but I'll tell you more about it later. I actually need to speak with Takano-san for a bit. In private. Please." Ritsu said. Normally he would not voluntarily put himself in a position where he was alone with Takano - especially when he looked this angry - but he was trying to ensure his friend's safety.

"Oh, okay. I'll see you both later then." Nao said casually, giving a wave before he went into Ritsu's apartment.

Ritsu gave an awkward laugh as Takano crossed his arms. "So...Nao showed you that photo album..." He said with a forced grin. "W-We sure were stupid kids back then."

"You need to kick him out of your apartment as soon as possible. I don't want him staying with you." Takano said firmly.

Ritsu let out an exasperated sigh. "How many times do I have to tell you that there's no need for that? Nao doesn't see me that way, you don't need to be jealous-"

"I know that." Takano huffed.

"...You do?"

"Yes. He's too much of a fucking idiot to be trying to manipulate you or get close to you like that." Takano said. "But he's also such a fucking idiot that he might endanger you again!"

Ritsu slowly processed Takano's words. "I see."

"I mean, what the fuck is the salt and ice challenge?"

"Please don't ask me that question." Ritsu begged, feeling as though ten years had just been taken off his life.

"Is the whole point just to give yourself a burn? Why would you even do that?"

Ritsu wanted to silently face the wall until the end of the time so he would never have to look at Takano ever again.

"Please just chalk it up to the poor decision making of a teenager." Ritsu begged. "But Nao isn't going to try anything like that again, let alone try to convince me to do it too!"

"...I'm coming over." Takano started to take strides towards Ritsu's apartment.

"What? No! Why?" Ritsu stood in front of him, blocking the entrance.

"As long as he's living with you I'm staying over to make sure he doesn't put you in the hospital." Takano said.

"Takano-san, please! I'm an adult! Nothing is going to happen." Ritsu insisted.

I already had such a long day with my parents, I can't deal with both Nao and Takano-san on top of that, even if Takano-san means well, Ritsu thought, determined to stand his ground.

There was no way that Ritsu would allow Takano to spend the night.

"Hey Ritsu, welcome back - Oh - Sa-Takano-san is here too?" Nao said when his dear friend came back in with Takano trailing behind him. Nao certainly wasn't upset by this, just a little confused.

"Yes..." Ritsu answered, hoping he didn't look and sound as defeated as he felt.

"I thought we could all hang out together." Takano deadpanned, but Nao beamed, totally buying it.

"Nice! This'll be fun. Should I run out and get some beer?" Nao asked.

"No!" Both Ritsu and Takano exclaimed. Neither of them needed Nao drunk.

"It's really no problem, I'll be right back." Nao assured, making his way toward the entrance to put on his shoes. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" He called out before he was suddenly gone.

Ritsu flopped down on to the couch as Takano let out a sigh.

This was going to be a long night.