Prompt: Takaritsu day/confession (2023)
"Do you have an AIM account?" Saga Masamune asked as he and Ritsu sat side by side in the school's library.
Ritsu blinked at the question, "I-yes." He lied.
Why, why, why, WHY did I just lie about that?! Ritsu questioned, refraining from pulling at his own hair. He didn't want to admit to Saga that his mother didn't approve of those instant messaging chat rooms, finding it far too embarrassing. She thought that they were distracting at best and dangerous at worst. Ritsu didn't really understand her concern with danger, because he certainly wouldn't be chatting with strangers. At most, he'd probably chat with Anchan and that was it. At least, it had been until now - what with Saga suddenly expressing interest and all.
"What's your screen name?" Saga asked.
No, oh no, crap, crap, crap, Ritsu's eyes started to dart around wildly, looking out the library windows and seeing all the flowering, pink trees. "Ch-Cherry blossom…" He then looked at the numerous shelves. "...books. Cherryblossombooks. Is my screen name." Ritsu said, refraining from immediately burying his face in his hands in humiliation. What is wrong with me?
"Okay. I'll message you later." Saga said. "My screen name's-"
"I-I actually just remembered I have to leave early today!" Ritsu said, standing. "So sorry, I-I'll talk to you later, Senpai." Ritsu rushed off before Saga even had the chance to say goodbye.
Ritsu was out of breath by the time he got home, but pushed through it to run upstairs to his Dad's office where the family computer was located. He was sure that his Dad was at work still, but he knocked anyway. When not getting a response, he quickly slipped inside and shut the door behind him, sitting in the office chair and hurrying to set up an AIM account.
He weighed the pros and cons of getting in trouble versus Saga finding out he was lying in his mind as he went through the whole process and decided that getting scolded by his mother was less mortifying than Saga going to try to message him on AIM only to find he didn't exist. By some miracle, Ritsu found that the screen name wasn't already taken and he was able to quickly sign up, his racing heart finally starting to calm down.
"Ritsu? I thought I heard you come home…" The door to the office slowly opened once more, Ritsu's mother standing in the doorway to peek inside.
Ritsu squeaked and switched tabs, pretending to be doing some kind of research for a school project. "Y-Yeah, Mom! Sorry, I just came in here to do some homework while Dad's still at work…" He said, hoping that his mother would buy it.
"Okay…next time at least say hello to your mother." She huffed with displeasure.
"Sorry." Ritsu apologized again. "I-I just wanted to get a head start before Dad came home - in case he needs the computer later."
"Well…alright. What's this project?" She asked curiously, coming over to peek at the screen, making Ritsu nearly fall out of the chair in a panic.
"Ah, it's an open-ended history research project…I haven't totally decided what to do yet." Ritsu said.
"I see. I'll leave you to work hard then." She smiled, patting Ritsu's head, having no reason to believe that her obedient son was hiding something from her.
Ritsu slumped with relief once she left the room and closed the door behind her. He pulled up some random information on different historical events that he would be able to switch the tabs to in the event that one of his parents entered the room again. He then pulled up the instant messaging program once more, anxiously waiting to see if anything would come through. A part of him almost hoped Saga wouldn't message him because Ritsu simply wouldn't know how to handle that. But, his heart also wouldn't know how to handle not receiving a message. So it was a bit of a lose-lose situation.
While Ritsu weighed the pros and cons of receiving a message from Senpai, a little box popped up saying 'NostalgicCentury25 has sent you an IM. Do you want to read it?'. Ritsu thought he recognized the username as an Usami Akihiko reference and could only assume that it was a message from Saga.
Ritsu hit the 'Yes' option. It was a very simple message, saying: hey, this is Saga. Despite it being under five words, Ritsu still had to hide his red face in his hands. Ritsu had already been so weird about - well, everything - so he needed to be normal about this! He needed to respond like a normal person in a normal amount of time.
Ritsu took a deep breath, very carefully crafting his response in his head before he even dared to touch the keyboard. He also decided to wait at least five minutes before he sent a message back. Ten minutes would be better, but he doubted he could hold out for that long. He was staring at the little clock in the corner of the screen when he jumped at receiving another message.
Add me to your friends list.
Ritsu couldn't explain why such a request made his heart pound. It took a bit of clicking around, but he was able to add Saga to something called his 'Buddy List'. He then decided that he should probably finally respond.
Ritsu took a deep breath before finally bringing his hands to the keyboard.
Saga waited impatiently for Ritsu to respond to him, staring at the computer screen with a soft huff. He was already very annoyed that Ritsu suddenly went home early without a satisfying explanation and now he was even more annoyed that Ritsu hadn't messaged back right away. Having another form of contact was great, but not getting an immediate response - and not being able to Ritsu's expressive face - were definite drawbacks.
Saga started to wonder just what it was that Ritsu had to rush off to do. All he said was that he had to 'leave early'. Could it have been a club meeting? Or maybe some kind of family engagement? Could Ritsu have been meeting up with a friend today? Maybe another guy?
Before Saga could brood too much over the mere thought of Ritsu giving someone else even the smallest sliver of attention, he received a message.
Hi, Senpai! I'm sorry for rushing off so suddenly earlier. Is your screen name a reference to Usami-sensei's book 25th Century Nostalgia?
Saga sat up a little straighter, feeling a small smile tug at his lips as his heart strangely began to warm at Ritsu picking up on the novel reference. Of course he got it, I don't why I expected anything else, he thought, affection for the underclassman welling up inside him. However, Saga only responded with: yeah, it is. Have you read it? The question seemed pointless, but Saga was just trying to prompt Ritsu into talking about it more.
It worked like a charm as Cherryblossombooks is typing… popped up and Saga was soon graced with a paragraph of text both praising and analyzing the novel. Saga covered his mouth with a hand, trying to hide his smile.
God, he's so cute, Saga thought. Before he could begin to formulate a response, Sorata decided he wasn't getting nearly enough attention and jumped up onto the desk, walking all over the keyboard and accidentally sending an incomprehensible keysmash.
"Hey, get down." Saga scolded, gently trying to shoo away the cat, but Sorata was both stubborn and displeased at that. The cat did his best to resist, but Saga ultimately picked him up and set him back down on the ground.
Is that some kind of acronym? Ritsu had sent in confusion.
Saga let out a small snort of amusement before typing, that was my cat walking all over the keyboard.
Oh, that makes a lot more sense! Haha!
Are you free tomorrow after school? Saga asked.
Yes! I shouldn't have to rush off like I did today :)
The use of the emoticon made Saga imagine Ritsu's cheery expression and his bright eyes, making Saga wish that Ritsu was here even more.
Do you want to come over to my place tomorrow?
Cherryblossombooks is typing… appeared and disappeared several times and Saga could clearly and vividly imagine Ritsu's panicked and nervous flailing at such a proposition. Idly, Saga wondered if Ritsu would ever get used to receiving such an invitation. Saga supposed the only solution was to keep inviting Ritsu over until he got used to it. Saga was of course willing to make such a sacrifice. For Ritsu's future comfort. Of course. No other reason.
Way too many minutes passed considering it was a simple yes or no question, but eventually Saga received another message from Ritsu.
Yes, I would like that very much.
Saga tried not to laugh at how formal and subdued the response was. It certainly was missing that signature frazzled-Ritsu energy. He had no doubts that Ritsu had toned it down purposefully.
Him trying to play it cool somehow makes it cuter, ugh. It's annoying, Saga thought, irritated with himself for finding even the simplest things about Ritsu adorable. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't understand how or why Ritsu had charmed him so thoroughly, but there was no denying that Saga was very much transfixed by his boyfriend.
Boyfriend.
Just the word itself made Saga's heart skip a beat. This probably wasn't good for his physical health - or his intelligence. He was acting more and more like a fool every day.
Okay, Saga typed after he realized he had yet to respond before he cringed just a tiny bit. He should probably say more than that, right?
Ritsu was already typing though, quickly sending another message: You still haven't told me what you thought of 25th Century Nostalgia! You must like it if you made your name a reference, but I still want to know! Please?
Saga rolled his eyes in amusement at the small 'please'. He was more than happy to indulge Ritsu's request.
Plus, Saga knew that the more they talked about books, the longer he could likely keep Ritsu online chatting with him. Selfishly, Saga wanted to monopolize as much of Ritsu's time as possible. He hoped that instant messaging would turn out to be the perfect opportunity to do so.
The two teens still hung out after school at the library - and Ritsu still took up Saga's offers to visit his home - but now on the nights where Ritsu couldn't come over or couldn't spend the night the two of them ended up chatting online. If it was really late Ritsu would only hop on for a half hour or so at the most - fearing getting caught by his parents - but Saga felt special knowing that Ritsu was risking getting in trouble just to talk to him for a little bit.
It was late now - and a school night - but Saga hoped he could manage to keep Ritsu's attention off the clock so that they could talk past the half hour mark that was slowly, but surely approaching.
Saga, however, decided to exercise a little bit of patience as the Cherryblossombooks is typing… began to pop up and go away repeatedly. He smiled a little to himself, wondering what Ritsu could possibly want to say that was making him nervous this time.
Senpai, do you like me?
Saga blinked at the message, staring at it for a few moments in surprise. Why would Ritsu ask something like that? Saga spent as much of his free time as possible talking to Ritsu. They were dating, for God's sake. Of course Saga liked him. Had Saga done something to make Ritsu think that he didn't?
The indicator that Ritsu was typing popped up once again as Saga apparently hadn't responded quick enough to soothe Ritsu's nerves.
I just mean, do you have any feelings for me? The younger teen attempted to clarify.
Saga couldn't help but to shake his head and let out a laugh. Is he serious? Of course I like him. The idiot. Though, Saga supposed that made him an idiot too for liking Ritsu so much.
Saga typed out a response: I don't like you, I love you.
However, he then thought twice about doing such a confession online. Shouldn't he say something like that face to face? Ritsu obviously needed reassurance, but Saga felt like saying that in an instant message was somehow disingenuous. He started to delete it, getting about halfway through erasing the message when Sorata jumped up onto the desk with a loud, attention demanding meow.
"Not right now, Sorata." Saga said in frustration, quickly grabbing him and putting him back on the floor. However, when he looked back at the screen he realized that Sorata had pressed send and Saga had sent an incomplete message reading: I don't like you.
Saga's heart jumped into his throat, dread completely washing over him as he typed as quickly as he could to try to rectify the mistake, but before he could do so his computer informed him that Cherryblossombooks was currently offline.
Saga sent messages frantically regardless, hoping that Ritsu would see them when he logged back on,
i didnt mean to send t hat i swaer
i typed 'i don't likey ou, i love you' but then starred to deletebit so i could say it to your face instead but then sorat a jumped up and hitt send
please beleive me i reallyl ike you ritus
**Ritsu
fuck im sorry
Saga leaned back in the chair and covered his face with his hands with a loud groan. Sorata rubbed against his leg, unaware of the crime he had just committed. "Sorata. Get away from me right now." Saga said miserably.
I have to let him know tomorrow that it was a mistake, Saga thought, anxious about what could possibly be going through Ritsu's head right now. Fuck, what if he's crying? After everything we've done together I can't believe he really thought there was a possibility that I didn't like him! God damn it, Saga groaned again.
Saga tried to sleep, though he couldn't rest at all, worrying over his boyfriend (who now was under the impression that Saga didn't like him at all) and itching for the next day to come quickly so he could see Ritsu after school.
I'll clear everything up then, he'll still come to the library, won't he? Saga thought as he laid in bed, trying not to give in to the temptation to just sit at the computer all night on the off chance that Ritsu logged back on. He'll want some kind of explanation from me, won't he? At the very least he should show up to tell me off for being a jerk. Either way, I'll let him know the misunderstanding and make my feelings very, very clear for him. Saga hugged his pillow tightly, burying his face in it. Ritsu had been coming around often enough for it to begin to faintly smell like him.
Saga was only running on about an hour of sleep the next day, but his nerves kept him wide awake throughout his classes. Once given the opportunity, Saga rushed off to the library. When not seeing Ritsu at their usual table, he felt a lump of worry form in his throat that he attempted to swallow down. He searched through the aisles of library shelves, hoping there was a chance that Ritsu was browsing the selection, but Saga didn't see him anywhere.
Ultimately, Saga decided to take a seat and wait.
And wait.
And wait.
"I have to close the library soon." The librarian informed Saga. "Are you staying after hours again?"
"Y-Yes. If that's okay."
The librarian was a little taken aback by the soft tone and upon further inspection saw dark circles under Saga's eyes. "...Yes, it's okay."
"Thanks." Saga said quietly, soon all alone in the library.
Ritsu hadn't come.
He didn't come the next day.
Or the next day.
Or the one after that.
Ritsu was gone.
"Were you ever on MySpace? Any cringey photos I should be scouring the internet for?" Kisa asked the new hire with glee, attempting to get to know him better and garner fuel for teasing him. The conversation had been bouncing back and forth between them for a while now, somehow leading them to this topic.
"Ah, no, I've never been into social media very much." Ritsu answered with a small, slightly nervous laugh, surprised that their boss hadn't already scolded them for chatting instead of working. "The closest I ever got was an AIM account I made when I was fifteen."
"Oh? What was your username? Was it something really cringey?" Kisa asked with a laugh.
Takano was just about to yell at them, but then Ritsu turned a little red and it made Takano curious. He was a sucker for blushing brunettes, after all.
"It was, wasn't it! Tell me!" Kisa poked at him.
"I-I just sort of made it up on the spot." Ritsu said. "It was Cherryblossombooks, if I remember right…"
"Aw, honestly that's kind of cute!" Kisa said.
Takano was going to have a heart attack.