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Chapter 12
Margaret was returning to live in London. After the last time she had been in Portwenn, she had gone to Portugal where she had resumed relations with the man she had met while she and Christopher, Martin's father, were separated. She had thus solved her maintenance problems and had ensured herself quite pleasant company. Her partner had passed away three months ago, but he still guaranteed her a dignified living for the years to come. Unfortunately, however, following some episodes of malaise, tests revealed that she had been affected by a very aggressive and already metastasized bone cancer. A matter of months.
Already troubled by grief, Margaret fell into a state of despondency that forced her to re-examine herself and her life. She decided to return to England, to London, to die, where she still had a friend who had offered to stay with her.
Before moving into the family home, which she had retained ownership of because Christopher had put it in his name for tax reasons, and before her health worsened, she wanted to meet her son.
She remembered well that he had kicked her out and knew that he would not have wanted to see her. She was nevertheless willing to humiliate herself and determined to talk to him, not to arouse his pity for her, but to do the only thing she could do for him. In that period of solitude she had retraced her life and faced her ghosts. She had made peace with everything and everyone... nothing mattered anymore... but there was one regret left... only one... her fault was bigger than herself.
So, sporting her usual mask of cynicism and pride, she returned to Portwenn and knocked on his son's door.
It was Louisa who answered the door, carrying Mary in her arms.
Her smile was soon replaced by a worried expression as she stood there trying to figure out what to do.
"Good evening, Louisa." It was her mother-in-law who broke the silence.
«Good evening…Margaret.»
"I need to talk to my son." she quickly announced politely.
She didn't have time to answer when she heard Martin's footsteps behind her and his voice asking "Who is it?".
When he saw his mother, he instinctively picked up Mary from his wife and, without saying anything, pulled her back, closing the door.
"Martin?"
"What's up?" he replied annoyed.
"She's your mother…you can't just slam the door in her face."
"Why?"
"Why not. At least hear what she wants."
"I must not."
She hadn't seen him as nervous as he was in that moment for a long time and she prayed in her heart that this visit wouldn't nullify all his progress, but it didn't seem right to her to behave that way... even if her mother-in-law deserved it.
«Martin…please.» she urged him more gently. He huffed as he ducked his head to the side of him, then handed Mary back to her.
Margaret on the other end sighed…she had expected exactly that reaction…and knocked again.
This time it was her son who opened the door, blocking the entrance with his arms and hiding Louisa with his body.
"What do you want?" he asked in a neutral voice.
"Talk to you."
"No." he started to close the door again.
«Martin…wait.»
He looked at her with a raised chin…unperturbed, but his wife noticed his posture stiffen into a defensive position.
"I know you told me not to come back." continued Margaret equally stiffly. "But I need to talk to you."
"I won't give you a penny, so…you can go."
«I don't want to ask you for money…this time…I don't need it anymore…»
"Better, goodbye."
"Martin Ellingham!" she addressed him exasperatedly, but she quickly recovered by lowering her tone. "We need to talk. I rented a room down in town for a few days... so now try to absorb the shock, then let me know when you're ready to talk."
"I have nothing to tell you." he looked more like a sulky little boy now.
"I know." her mother replied kindly. "I'll do the talking."
"How did you know I was here?" he asked, imagining the answer.
«It's a small town… and everyone knows you…»
«Yeah…» the inhabitants of that village never minded their own business.
"I'm going now…I need to rest a bit after my journey…so come and find me…I have a room in an inn on Rose's Hill."
Martin grunted something incomprehensible and she stared at him.
"If you won't, I will." she warned him resolutely, whereupon she turned and walked away.
That evening Martin barely ate. He was furious, but he tried not to show it by taking care of practical matters. After Louisa had put the children to sleep, she returned to the living room to find him standing in the dark by the window, with only the light coming from the corridor.
"Martin."
He whirled around.
"Are you OK?"
"Yes, yes." he cleared his throat.
She sighed.
"I think no."
«Well…you can't read my mind.» he replied dryly.
«Maybe not, but I know you and I know that no matter how impossible the relationship is…she is your mother and her presence has effects on you.»
"It has no effect."
"For starters…you're shutting yourself down and leaving us all out." she told him softly.
Martin looked at her with guilty eyes, then lowered his gaze.
Louisa walked up to him and took his hand. If she had known how much that contact hurt him at that moment... a sweet caress that had been denied to him for most of his life... she wouldn't have done it... but she didn't know that and she held it between her.
«I'm here, Martin, and I'll be there. I know there is a storm inside you now and... believe me... I would really like to calm it down and not see you suffer..."
She reached out and turned his face for him to look at her.
«…but I can't do it. I can stand by you, though, and I hope it's of some help to you."
Martin blinked nervously, but managed to nod his head.
"Are you coming to sleep?" she asked him kindly.
«Uhmm…yes…in a bit.»
"All right."
She kissed his cheek and went upstairs…she knew it was going to be a long night for him. It was a pity that his mother's visit spoiled the tranquility he had achieved.
Martin sighed and returned to the window. Of all the thoughts racing in his head, he tried to focus on just one... whatever happened, his priority had to be the well-being of his wife and children. The most important thing was not to lose them.
It was late at night when he went up. He checked that the children were asleep and tucked them in, put his pajamas in the bathroom and quietly entered the room. He pulled back the covers and got into bed, sliding next to Louisa, who was turned on her side towards the window. He reached a hand around her waist. She took it and brought it to her face and snuggled against him. Martin then came closer and held her to him, raising his knees towards hers. Deeply grateful for that comfort… he kissed her hair and fell asleep.
Louisa had just dropped James off at school and was walking home pushing her daughter's stroller when she heard her name called. She turned to where her voice was coming from and saw her mother-in-law stand up and motion for her to come closer to her table. She hesitated for a moment... then she agreed to her request.
"Good morning, Louisa." she welcomed her with that beautiful delicate tone of hers and kindly held out her hand to greet her. «I was having breakfast when I saw you pass…can I offer you a coffee?»
«Good morning, Margaret…here…I…»
«Please…join me.» her eyes betrayed a certain embarrassment. «I realize that we didn't part in the best way the last time... and I apologize. Have a seat…please.»
Louisa stared at her for a moment…her eyes were friendly, but they seemed to be looking elsewhere. She relaxed.
«Why not…I have no customers this morning.»
At that moment the little girl clapped her hands on the stroller to attract attention.
Margaret smiled at her and bent down to touch her head.
«Of course, forgive me…and what's your name?»
"Her name is Mary Elisabeth and she is one year and two months old." Louisa informed her.
She wasn't sure Martin would be happy to hear about that meeting…or even his mother interacting with his daughter…but she was still the grandmother.
«Mary Elizabeth? That's a really nice name, miss." her expression softened as she looked at her niece.
The little girl smiled cheerfully at that kind face and both women laughed tenderly back.
They sat down with the stroller between the two of them and Louisa ordered tea.
"You mentioned customers, dear…are you no longer principal of the school?"
Louisa noticed that there was no disapproval in her words, only curiosity.
«No…by now I was more concerned with paperwork and bureaucracy rather than with the children. So I went back to study to become a child counselor and now I have a practice next to Martin's surgery."
"Oh." Margaret seemed genuinely impressed. «You have shown courage to change career after many years of teaching... and in the meantime you also had a little girl. You are a very active woman, Louisa."
Once again, her mother-in-law seemed effortless…there was something different about her, but it was still hard to figure out what it was.
«Well…Martin helped me a lot…with James and Mary, with the courses and during and after the pregnancy.»
She expected a sarcastic comment from her mother-in-law, but instead she sighed softly and lowered her gaze. She moved the cup away from her and elegantly placed her hands one on top of the other.
«He…always wanted to take care of what he cared about.» suddenly she looked at her, perking up.
Louisa focused on the grace of that woman's movements. Her gestures were always composed... measured. Her polite and polite ways… a little haughty, but distinct. Margaret was naturally refined and elegant and she found herself admiring those characteristics. She actually saw a lot of Martin in her.
«Why don't we take a walk, Louisa? It's a beautiful day and I'd really like to take advantage of this sunshine."
Louisa agreed…she sensed a strong discomfort in the woman in front of her. She looked aged and fragile, despite her composure. At this point she was decidedly curious to understand what her mother-in-law's intentions were.
They walked up Fore Street to the cliff walk, opposite her house…she preferred to avoid the possibility of her husband seeing them.
It wasn't difficult to converse with her. She was a cultured and prim woman, used to social relationships and the status of the wife of a respected surgeon in a big city, but she... above all... she didn't hide behind that pompous and bored attitude she had when she first met her. They stopped to admire the view and Margaret gently stroked Mary's soft cheek. The hardness of her features, which suddenly melted in the face of her nephew's enthusiastic laughter, reminded Louisa of her Martin and made her feel great pity. She was suddenly struck by the thought that behind that woman's life there was a lot of pain... just like behind that of her husband.
"Do you want to pick her up?" she couldn't help but ask.
Her mother-in-law stared at her in surprise for a moment, then smiled slightly at her.
"Yes please."
She unhooked the stroller guard and lifted the little girl to place her in her grandmother's arms.
Mary looked first at her mother, then at the woman holding her. Her face lit up with a joyful smile and she threw her little head against Margaret's shoulder. The old lady's eyes immediately became teary as she held her granddaughter close. As sometimes happens…parents' imperfect love…blooms over to subsequent generations and Mary and her grandmother recognized each other instantly.
«You're such a beautiful little girl, Mary… so carefree…» she put her hand behind her little head and the little girl looked at her. «When he was your age, your dad was always happy too… every morning he welcomed me with a smile looking at me from his crib…» she smiled, remembering. "You wouldn't say that today, would you?" she concluded, frowning.
"What was Martin like as a child?" after her studies and with her long experience in dealing with children, she had come to the conclusion that the causes of adults' difficulties were to be found in childhood, especially in the very early years... those in which most of the adult traits were defined.
The idea was forming in her mind that Martin had to face his childhood in order to be free to live today. She didn't know how… she was just a consultant… but she wanted to make the sadness go away from her husband's eyes. So she thought she'd take advantage of that momentary confidence to find out more.
Margaret looked at her uncertainly for a moment... the same distrust as her son... then she looked back at Mary.
«He was identical to James…I noticed it immediately when I saw him for the first time.»s he sighed. «He was a quiet baby... at first. He had an appetite and slept a lot. Then Christopher forbade me to breastfeed him... he said that he no longer found me attractive in the role of mother and that he had to be weaned early or he would grow up spoiled." she looked at her daughter-in-law… there was a lot of resentment in her gaze.
«I met him when I was seventeen... today it seems like I was too young, but at the time it was normal. I fell in love with him immediately. He was a very nice boy, very popular at university. They all agreed that he was destined for a successful career as a doctor, just like his father. Two years later we got married and were happy…for a while…at least I was.» she gave her a bitter smile.
«When I realized I was pregnant, something changed in him... he no longer looked at me with the same eyes. A few months after the birth of the child we hired a nanny and I agreed to entrust him to her in the hope of finding peace with my husband... but it didn't help. »
Louisa listened with a mixture of anger and sorrow.
«Martin became nervous. He cried a lot, until he collapsed overcome by sleep. He was a very sweet child… when he saw me he clung to me with strength… almost desperate… » her voice cracked. «…but I always had other things to do…a business dinner to attend or an evening to organize. I had become a trophy to show off for Chirstopher... he expected me to always be impeccable and to help him in his career by living in his shadow. I soon developed strong anger towards him… I was disappointed and unhappy… and I took it out on my son." she looked up at her daughter-in-law.
«I decided to forget about Martin… I blamed him for my problems…»s he admitted coldly. «…and he became a sad and resigned child. Intelligent, curious and kind…but unhappy. Because of us."
Louisa swallowed hard. Imagining that creature left to fend for himself... a child rejected for no reason... moved her and infuriated her at the same time.
"Why did she come back?" she asked, unable to hide some annoyance now.
"I just need to talk to him. Then I'll go away and leave him alone."s he announced solemnly.
Mary placed her small hand on her grandmother's cheek and made some unintelligible sounds…they had been ignoring her for too long for her liking.
Margaret looked at her in amazement and again her face softened, underlining what had been the beauty of a refined young woman.
"You're right, you should have our full attention, darling. Forgive us."
The little girl waved her arms happily, satisfied.
Louisa put her back in the stroller, but not before a kiss and a caress, and they continued their journey towards the Platt.
«Her husband…seems to have been a difficult man…but Martin doesn't look like him. Yes, I understand that he appears... that he is hasty in his ways... and sometimes he is grumpy... but he is a good, courageous man... dedicated to his work and always there for his family. » Louisa stated resentfully. The previous time, her mother-in-law had denigrated him on every occasion and she wanted to emphasize the profound difference between father and son.
"Does he make you happy, Louisa?"
"Yes." she stated confidently, whirling around. "Very happy."
Margaret smiled benevolently.
"I'm glad to hear it. For both."
They were sincere words…which stunned Louisa once again.
They walked in silence to the top of Rose's Hill.
The old woman bent down to caress Mary's cheeks and kissed her soft hair.
"He would listen to you..." she said to her daughter-in-law before saying goodbye. «I'm sure he values your opinion very much. Get him to come talk to me. I rented The Sibbys."
Margaret rested her hand on her arm. "Please, Louisa."
Without waiting for an answer, she left her and walked towards her cottage.
At lunch, seeing her thoughtfully, Martin asked her what she had done that morning. Louisa admitted that she had met Margaret and taken a walk with her.
"What?" he wasn't at all happy to hear that. "And Mary was with you?"
«It's obvious, Martin…where should I have left her?»
"So she met her."
«Don't worry…when she asked me if she could eat her, I told her it was better not…or you would get angry.»
"What?" he dropped his head to the side. "Yes." he had caught her sarcasm.
«She's her grandmother after all… at least Mary will be able to say she knew her…»
"She's too young, she won't remember."
"Here you see? There's no problem then."
Martin resumed eating in silence. When he finished, he got up and went to take his daughter in his arms. He placed two fingers on her forehead, then his hand on her head… as he had always done with James. He felt reassured. He handed her over to her mother, gave both of her a kiss and began to wash the dishes.
"Do you think you'll go talk to her, then?" she tried to ask him casually.
He whirled around.
"Of course not." he stated firmly.
"Aren't you curious to know what she wants from you?"
He turned completely, leaning against the sink, and grabbed a towel to dry his hands.
"No." he looked at her very seriously. «I would prefer not to talk about her anymore. Sooner or later she will have to leave and we can resume our lives."
«But my life didn't stop because of her…it continues as always.» she stared defiantly into his eyes. "Not yours?"
Martin took a breath to argue, but the words died in his throat…his wife had cornered him once again. He turned and went back to washing the dishes. «After the surgery I'm going to get some fish for dinner. Do you need anything else?"
Louisa thought about her husband's words and her meeting with Margaret for the rest of the day. Her mother-in-law's confidences about the treatment Martin had received as a child still made her angry. How much he must have suffered from that senseless coldness. She imagined him… serious and scared… sitting alone on his bed with a book bigger than him. She thought about her James... about how sweet and clever he was... about the tenderness that showered on her when he hugged her tightly... about his eyes, intelligent and curious.
What an unforgivable woman Margaret had been…to take it out on her son like that…an innocent creature in need of protection.
But why did she suddenly admit her mistakes...and to her, then...she wondered.
She felt the issue was much more complex.
That evening, when Martin sat down on the bed next to her, she placed a long kiss on his cheek and wished him goodnight as usual. They turned off the lamps and settled under the sheets, then Louisa turned to him, put her arms around his waist and rested her head on his chest. Martin held her close, but she held him tighter. She reminded him that she loved him and that she would always love him… and he kissed her forehead in deep gratitude for her.
Neither of them fell asleep right away. They both stayed awake thinking. The next day a mother had asked to postpone the appointment scheduled for early afternoon and, since Mary was with Janice and Martin was working, Louisa decided to go and speak to Margaret again.
She knocked on the door of her cottage and she came to open it. Slightly surprised, she invited her in.
'Sit down, Louisa. I'm glad to see you. Can I make you a cup of tea?"
She was kind. She watched her heat the water and prepare the teapot. She moved gracefully… she conversed politely, but… whatever her mood… even as she smiled… her eyes were distant… sad… like Martin's.
«I would like to see James again…he will have grown up…does he still look like his father?» she seemed genuinely interested.
«I would say yes…he has the same eyes and one day probably the same height. He is a curious child, very sweet and calm. »
The older woman sipped her cup of coffee.
«Did you talk to Martin? He'll come? "
"I didn't tell him much about our meeting..." she replied, pushing the empty cup away. «… But he doesn't seem willing to see her anyway. Knowing him… he will wait for her to leave, ignoring the problem."
"I understand." Margaret commented with a sigh.
"Why do you want to talk to him?"
«Well… we broke up badly last time…» she replied vaguely.
"Why now?" she urged her.
"I suppose my age forces you to reflect on the past…on relationships…I would just like…to talk to him for a bit."
Louisa watched her in silence. She wasn't convinced of her intentions... she had tested how harsh she could be towards her son and she didn't want her to upset him unnecessarily.
«Look…Margaret…let's be clear. Your relationship with Martin was and is very complicated. I'd rather not intrude...and I certainly don't want to upset my husband. He is working very hard to be a present father and to live a reality that he was not used to."
Her mother-in-law listened to her carefully.
«From what little I saw last time… your attitude towards your son was very harsh. I've never heard you say a kind word to him… encouragement… and the way you told him about his father's death… well…" she shook her head, still indignant.
«Martin suffered a lot from his blood phobia, from the changes caused by a new family and from the problems we had in our marriage… yes, our relationship was never easy… we both needed to learn.» she looked at her, lifting her chin.
«…and in all this…you only showed up to ask your son for money.» she stared her mother-in-law straight in her eyes.
"I won't let you make him suffer any longer, so…if you want my help…it's time for you to be completely honest with me." she concluded resolutely, leaning over the table.
Margaret hesitated. She realized that she liked this woman… she had had an inkling of it the previous time. She was sensitive and affectionate, but also very passionate and strong when it came to defending what she cared about. She trusted her instinctively.
"You care a lot about Martin." she remarked naively.
«Well, yes… why would I have married him otherwise?» Louisa replied, but she immediately frowned. «You don't believe that I did it just because of his status as a doctor or because he is wealthy or because we had a child? I have always worked and I even managed to become school principal... I'm not rich, of course, but I have always been able to support myself adequately and it wouldn't have been a problem to be single with a child.» she defended herself.
Her mother-in-law smiled shaking her head.
"I didn't mean to imply anything of the sort, dear. Mine was just an observation." she slowly placed her hands on the table, one on top of the other. «I don't know much about you, it's true, but I've always had the ability to understand who was in front of me in a short time and you... you're a good woman, Louisa. You wouldn't do anything just for economic reasons or to obtain social advantages, no."
Louisa looked at Margaret for signs of complacency or mockery, but found none.
"Just because I'm a cold, spoiled woman doesn't mean I can't recognize honesty when I see it." she continued. «Okay, Louisa. I will speak clearly." she raised her face slightly and pulled her shoulders back well.
«Since our last meeting at the airport, I have returned to live in Portugal, where I had friends. About three months ago, my partner died. He was a wealthy man… a good man in fact… » her voice trembled for an instant. «… And he left me with a very dignified living. This is to reassure you that I have not come to get money."
Louisa blinked, looking down.
«I am old, Louisa and I wanted to return to my home in England to die. I still have the house in London, where I'm going to stay from next week, so…no, I don't intend to stay and no, I won't bother you for long."
Her daughter-in-law frowned expectantly. She sighed in preparation for her next speech and continued.
"I decided to stop in Portwenn first to ask Martin to forgive me." she added with obvious discomfort.
Louisa raised her head as she thought.
"I don't think he'll agree to do that."
«I'm not that naive, Louisa. I don't expect us to make peace and get along well from now on..."
"I did not mean…"
"No." Margaret took a breath. "I know." her hands now clasped nervously. She knew she didn't have enough time and she knew that without the help of her daughter-in-law her trip risked being useless.
«I do not expect to be forgiven to clear my conscience…simply because my conscience cannot be cleansed.» she looked straight into her eyes… lips pursed. She stood up.
"Nothing…nothing I can say or do today will ever erase what I did to my son." she said resolutely and leaned on the table… she had lost her normal composure… her hands were shaking.
Louisa gasped…a breach had opened in that woman's heart, then.
«I know I did everything wrong with him…I know I was cruel…so I no longer have any rights on Martin.» she sat up and tried to calm down.
"I don't seek forgiveness for myself and I don't forgive myself... how could I after having ruined a large part of his life?" she swallowed, lowering her eyes.
"I do not understand…"
«I...I thought that...if he can forgive me...if he can make peace with the past...he can forgive himself too...he can accept what happened and move forward. And if it's necessary for him to insult me first and throw all his contempt at me... I'm ready."
Margaret's eyes were teary.
"It's all I can still do for my son." she spread her arms.
"Help him get rid of me."
Louisa stared at her, amazed at her vehemence. Somehow… it seemed that they both had come to the same conclusion… if Martin had faced his past… if he had accepted an uncomfortable figure like his mother… maybe he could relax and make the sadness disappear from his eyes.
«If you help me convince him, Louisa… I'd like to try. I owe him at least this. Then I'll disappear, I swear to you." she insisted warmly.
«I also think that Martin needs to make peace with the past. I don't know if this is the way, but...it might be useful. Or he might hate both." she sighed worriedly.
"So will you help me?" Margaret asked hopefully.
«I don't know... I don't want to see Martin suffer. I'm not a psychologist or anything… I don't know if it's right to meddle… we might even cause him a deep crisis… »she shook her head.
«No, of course… we don't know if there is a scientific way to deal with the situation… but I know that you are a person of common sense, Louisa, and you have the sensitivity necessary to understand it.» she really meant it.
«I need to think about it, Margaret… I need some time, even though I know there isn't much…»
The old woman tensed…had she sensed something?
«…because she has to leave for London.» concluded Louisa.
"Yes, indeed." she cleared her throat.
«I'm going now, James is about to leave school.»
She walked her to the door and put a hand on her shoulder.
"Thank you, Louisa."
Her daughter-in-law nodded.
"I don't promise you anything, though."
Louisa thought of nothing else all evening. Her instincts suggested that a comparison between Margaret and Martin would benefit her husband. At the same time she was afraid of triggering a dangerous and unmanageable process.
Martin was working hard to make them happy... she was truly grateful... but she had never given up the hope of seeing him happy... of hearing him laugh heartily and letting himself go.
She fell asleep holding his hand.
Later that night, she reached out to touch him, but only felt the cold sheets. She waited a few minutes… trying to hear if there were any noises coming from the bathroom.
Finally she got up and left the room. The children's rooms were closed, but she checked anyway. Finally she went downstairs. Even if dimly, the house was still illuminated by the light coming from the windows. She glimpsed her husband's figure in the living room, sitting upright in the bay window.
"Martin." she called out to him softly.
He turned around.
"Can not you sleep?" she went to him and pulled his head close to her chest, kissing his hair. He let himself be moved in silence.
«What's happening, love? Hmm?" she whispered.
"Nothing." was Martin's automatic response.
«Well, nothing at all... I don't think so.» she insisted politely.
Finally her husband's arms came up and wrapped around her waist. Martin hid his face against her belly and she hugged him tighter. They remained so silent for a while.
«Okay…why don't you come to bed now and try to sleep? It's very late and you have visitors tomorrow morning." she urged calmly.
He raised his face towards her. Louisa saw his eyes shining, but he didn't speak. She bent down to give him a kiss, then she pulled away and tried to pull him to his feet. He followed her meekly and they went back to their room and, when they were in bed, she pulled him towards her, his head on her shoulder. He hugged her and after a while fell asleep, while Louisa stroked his hair and kissed his forehead.
The next morning, Louisa came to the conclusion that she would talk to Martin. It was Friday...and on Fridays they tried to work only half a day, when possible.
She arrived in the kitchen while her husband had already started preparing lunch. From her high chair Mary waved her hands at her with a smile as soon as she saw her. She grabbed them and kissed them one at a time, then caressed her little pink cheeks causing her to giggle.
"Everything OK?" Martin asked her, looking up from the sink.
«Yes, it was a quiet morning. You?"
"Yes good." he had not lost the habit of synthesis. "Apart from a house call to Mrs. Polglase… I had to go to her remote farm."
"Oh sorry." she commented sympathetically.
"Yes."
Louisa stood next to him and put her arm around his waist. He leaned in for a quick kiss, immediately returning to washing the vegetables. She smiled at him... those small affectionate gestures were starting to become part of his habits.
Later…after she had put the baby down for her nap…she went down to the kitchen.
«Martin…»
"Yes?" he replied promptly putting down the empty coffee cup.
She took his hand and led him into the living room. They sat on the sofa.
"Louisa." he urged vaguely concerned now.
«Yes...well...yesterday morning I went to your mother's house.» she saw him frown and tense his shoulders.
"Why."
«I needed to understand some things…»
"Which things?!"
The woman gently placed her hand on his.
"I've thought about this a lot, Martin…and I think you should really go talk to her." she concluded in a breath.
He immediately stood up, huffing indignantly.
"No way!" he retorted heatedly. 'What's on your mind, Louisa? Go and talk to that woman... ask me to meet her... »he stared at her decidedly altered. "No!"
«Martin, listen…»
"No, I told you no and I don't want to discuss it anymore." he concluded.
She took his hand and made him sit next to her again. He remained distant and still.
«Martin…why don't you think about it for a while and then decide?» she tried to convince him gently.
"I told you no." he was adamant.
«I think it could be useful to you, however…»
"No!" he shouted as he stood up again. "It wouldn't be helpful at all, and I want nothing more to do with that woman."
He glared at her.
"And I'd really rather you stop seeing her too…she's never brought any good…I won't let her sneak into my family, no!"
«Martin… don't get angry…» she also stood up and placed a hand on his chest in an attempt to calm him. "I just thought…"
"No!" he shouted again. "It's none of your business… you don't know…" his voice trembled. «…you don't know…» the anger of a moment before turned into frustration. He absolutely didn't mean to take it out on his wife. That part of his life was still a difficult problem to deal with and he didn't want to disturb their peace in any way, but in the end he took it out on her. He composed himself and pushed her hand away.
"Don't interfere, Louisa." he warned her coldly. Then he walked briskly out of the room.
Louisa gasped, disturbed by the harshness of his voice.
"Martin..." she tried to call him, but he didn't answer.
She followed him and noticed that he was going in the direction of the front door. She ran after him and stood in front of him.
«Martin…please…calm down…let's try to think straight now…» she pleaded.
He gave her a stern look.
"I thought I could trust you, Louisa." he grabbed her shoulders and moved her to the side effortlessly, leaving her stunned and uncertain. He then quickly went out into the street and headed towards the town.
«Martin...» she called softly, leaning against the door frame. "What have I done?" she asked herself, starting to cry... she had gone too far in asking him to face Margaret... he wasn't ready yet and maybe he never would be. She cursed her obsession with always fixing what she thought didn't work. Martin was right… she shouldn't have interfered. She just hoped that he would calm down and come home soon. She would apologize and never bring up the subject again.