AN: Hello dearests!

Happy reading!

Disclaimer: Ally Carter owns Zach, Cammie, and the Gallagher Girls universe.

Cammie's POV

Zach ducked into the tent without complaint, but I stood outside for a minute, taking my time unknotting the pack at my waist. Despite my insistence that we needed to talk before we went back to the house (and we absolutely did) I wasn't sure where to start.

My drenched clothes and pounding heart wanted me to burst into our little shelter and scream at him for doing something so reckless, for putting himself in so much danger so needlessly. But…maybe I had no right to be mad at Zach. My rational side was coming to his defense, pointing out that he wouldn't have been out here at all if it hadn't been for me. If I hadn't let Ryden get so close. If I hadn't been doubting us.

A lump formed in my throat, and a burning sensation started up behind my eyes as I realized that Zach could very well be planning to break up with me once I joined him. Did you even "break up" in a friends with benefits situation? Or did you just leave without a good-bye, disappearing without a trace. The scary part was that Zach actually had the resources to do just that.

No, he wouldn't do that, he had too much integrity, but the thought of him leaving me at all had my heart contracting painfully in my chest.

I took a deep, calming breath and hoped that the cool rain hid the fact that I'd come dangerously close to crying. Then I entered the tent and froze. All of my fears over a potential break-up fled from my mind as I took in the wound on Zach's face. My eyes widened as they traveled down; the shoulder of his shirt was practically soaked in blood.

I quickly dropped to my knees and reached for him. "Are you okay?" we said at the same time.

Um, what?

Me? I was completely fine. I hadn't injured myself in over a week, and that, honestly, was a new record. But then I stopped looking at the concerning gash on Zach's forehead and instead looked at his expression. He was concerned alright, but it wasn't about his gash. It was about me. I noticed that he was reaching for me too, but his hands made it to my face before I could touch his.

"What's wrong, Gallagher Girl?" he asked, gently rubbing his thumb across my cheek. "Why do you look like you're about to cry?"

Because I am.

Because you're looking at me with so much care and tenderness that it hurts.

Because I don't think I could live with myself if I screwed this up.

But I didn't say any of that. Instead, I blinked rapidly and ducked my head. His hand fell away, and I busied myself with digging through the pack for some first aid. By the time I found what I was looking for, the burning in my eyes was gone, as was the knot of emotion in my throat…mostly.

If he was going to tell me that what we had was over, he could do it after I patched him up. My medical skills would be of no use if all I could see was a Zach-shaped blur.

"Hold this," I told him as I handed him the flashlight and then positioned his arm so the light focused on his cut. "And hold still."

His lips quirked up into an amused smile, but he said nothing about my bossiness.

I ignored him and examined the wound. It sat above his right eyebrow and was maybe an inch and a half long. It wasn't too deep, and it wouldn't need stitches if I dressed it properly. I slowly released a relieved breath. It wasn't as bad as I'd originally thought, but still…the blood.

"Are you dizzy?" I asked as I pinched the skin together and held it in place with some butterfly bandages. "Fatigued? Short of breath? Cold?"

"The rain made it look like I bled a lot more than I really did," he said, recognizing the symptoms I was rattling off. "I'm fine. Just wet, and sore, and"—he shrugged and ducked his head—"a little shaken."

I grabbed his chin and tilted his face up to me again so I could finish. But as I cleaned away the blood, I imagined sitting in this tiny shelter trying to fix more than a simple cut. This night could have easily taken a deadlier turn, and that thought sent a chill down my spine. To hell with not being angry.

"I just can't believe you would do something so crazy!" I exclaimed.

If Zach was surprised by my outburst, he didn't show it. "Yeah, well—"

"We only put ourselves in the path of danger when we need to, Zach."

"I know, but—"

"If you wanted to get away from me so badly, there are plenty of other ways to do it."

"Gallagher Girl!" He set the flashlight aside then grabbed my wrists, pulling me down so I looked him in the eyes. "I didn't come out here to get away from you! I did it to prove I'm good enough for you!"

He must've hit his head harder than I thought because he wasn't making any sense. "What are you—"

"No, no. Don't talk, please," he said with a frustrated shake of his head. "Let me finish. This is going to be hard enough without interruptions."

Shocked, I sat back on my heels and closed my mouth.

"Thank you," he said, his expression softening. But then he said nothing for several long moments. While I waited, his eyes wouldn't meet mine, and he subconsciously rubbed little circles into my wrists with his thumbs. Zachary Goode, one of the best spies this world had ever seen, was nervous, and that worried me.

"I don't like Ryden," he finally managed. "I don't like that he touches you, I don't like the way he looks at you, and I really don't like his nickname for you. But…"— he grimaced as if what he had to say pained him—"but your grandfather clearly likes him more than me, so I would understand if you wanted to be with him."

Woah, I'm sorry… What?! Zach thought that I wanted to leave him? For Ryden?

He either didn't notice my utter confusion or was ignoring it. "I just thought that if I could bring back the cow everyone was so worried about, it would maybe redeem me a little in your grandpa's eyes. Maybe he'd think I was capable and…good enough for you."

I blinked. Twice. Zach not being good enough? The idea was laughable. Like the rest of us, he wasn't perfect, but he was always good. Always enough. I knew he had felt like this before. He'd told me how unworthy he felt while we'd huddled together on a snowy mountain, thousands of miles and a couple of years away from here. But I thought that we'd put this insecurity to rest back then too. I felt queasy knowing I'd brought it back to the surface.

"Zach," I started, then paused to swallow the emotion that was threatening to spill into my voice. "I'm so sorry."

He shook his head and looked like he wanted to protest, but I pressed on before he could say anything.

"I'm so sorry that I made you feel like you ever had to do more, or be more, or give more to be with me. From the very beginning, you've always been perfect for me. I know I didn't always see it"—he smirked a little at that—"but you saw it, and you were always so patient with me. You waited for me to grow, and you grew along with me, side by side, stride for stride. You never abandoned me, even when I…"

I trailed off. I never liked bringing up the summer I ran away; the memory (or lack thereof) pained both of us.

Zach nodded. "It's okay, Cammie. I understand. You don't have to."

"Yes, I do, because what I'm trying to say is that you proved yourself to me a long time ago, and that's what matters. I love my grandpa, and he means the world to me, but he met you less than a week ago. His opinion of you—or anyone else's—isn't going to change how much I love and admire you."

Zach's heart was in his wide eyes as he looked at me with complete adoration. The expression melted me, and I nearly fumbled my words, but I had more to say, so I continued.

"You should never feel like you have to impress the people in my life. Your worth, your character, shines through all on its own. And if they can't see that, then they're blind…or you're entrenched in a deep cover operation. It's a toss-up between the two."

AN: Thank you so much for reading this chapter! You probably know what I'm going to say next by now, but Imma say it anyway for tradition's sake. If you liked what you read, leave an encouraging comment. If you didn't, let me know in a helpful critique. Thank much XOXO:):)

Hope you all have a great week! Much love, Rachel