An alien vessel in orbit around the Moon
This is not proceeding as planned. Nothing is happening to the plan. We have subjugated seventy-eight worlds in the last century and each of them are still shivering in fear at our very name. We are ordained by the Rimward Mandate to have unquestioned dominion over all space as we bring civilisation and order to the galaxy. Fear is the only universal language for the primitive species, so fear has been honed into our finest tool of expansion.
With holo-neural nano-transmitters seeded on worlds slated for subjugation, aided by a layered camouflaged satellite network, we've been able to conquer worlds without a single civilised life ever lost. The primitives' primal fears are identified by the satellites – both cultural and individual – then they are projected as solid forms by the transmitters, ably amplified by neuro-transmitters that disrupt their rational thought processes (what little they have). It's worked time and time again, and we are still refining the technology to be ever-more compelling to the natives. Purely from an aesthetic perspective, of course – we reached peak efficiency long ago, but it is quite satisfying to see the increased scale in which we can inflict fear on a planet.
So, why isn't it working here? They were clearly frightened in the opening minutes of the neural bombardment, but then we received some anomalous readings from their brains' amygdala and other neural organs that we'd thought were vestigial. Now they've somehow created a species-wide neural-feedback that's countering the bombardment. They're actually creating a range of what I can only describe as cultural antibodies to the nightmares.
What's more, there's an infernal grating noise somewhere on the ship that's distracting me from rectifying all of this. I'm somehow locked out from the nano-transmitters, almost as if the species had some gestalt latent telepathic potential.
The North American continent is buzzing with flying humanoids displaying a range of bizarre powers. On the European peninsular, specifically in the nation they call France, there are hundreds of tiny natives with moustaches wearing helmets with wings on, demonstrating super-strength with wild abandon. The nation called China is filled with mythological creatures they call dragons. Absolutely filled with them. I'd been initially hopeful about the nation called Japan, considering the sheer scale of the nightmarish monsters that they'd imagined – but now some of these 'kaiju' were fighting the others. One in particular is using what my readings are nonsensically calling 'atomic breath', and the only thing outnumbering the giant robots is the number of schoolgirls with 'magical' powers.
And as for Australia… I'm lost for words. They've certainly an abundance of nightmarish creatures and have naturally imagined them on a giant scale. But they've all been wrestled to the ground by some equally giant spectre in khaki shorts and a bush hat. My earthbound sensors report that he's proclaiming, "Ain't she a beaut?"
This is nonsensical!
And look at this! Now the natives are projecting far past the Kármán line. There's veritable armada of ridiculous looking spacecraft. A vast number of them seem to have a strange arrangement of a saucer-shaped section connected to a number of nacelles by flimsy pylons. There's one ship that looks almost humanoid, with what I swear are naval battleships for arms. A mongrel fleet of ships of all shapes and sizes are converging on my position. I thought this planet only had one moon?
That noise has finally stopped, though. It's odd… where did all these blue boxes come from?
'Police Public Call Box'. That sounds familiar. Wait, oh n-