Chapter 9
When Hermione woke up she was nestled in Malfoy's bed, his warm body pressed against her side. His lips at her neck, nuzzling and nipping at the skin there. His arm under her neck, his free hand on her inner thigh dangerously close to her center.
As Hermione made the move to shift away from him and out of bed Malfoy's hand slid up her body to lightly hold her neck. Hermione flinched. Not only from the sudden movement but also from the tenderness there. Memories of them in the kitchen flashed back to her. He choked her so hard that she blacked out!
"You may start your day, Love, but this evening I expect you back in this bed. Our bed" He released her.
Hermione left the bed in a fury and stormed across the manor to "her room". When she opened the door she found everything destroyed, Malfoy had set fire to the room and closed it inside to burn itself out. Hermione walked in, completely shell-shocked. Once she reached the middle of the room she lowered herself to the floor and just sat.
Tears brimmed her eyes. She had not heard from Pansy since she left weeks ago. Hermione was angry at her lack of choices, and sad because she was starting to think she may never be getting home.
So, she sat and she cried and when the sun started to set in the sky she picked herself up off the floor and dried her tears. She would not give Malfoy the satisfaction of seeing her upset.
As sincere as Pansy seemed, Hermione needed to stop sitting around and save herself. Day one commences tomorrow.
Malfoy was already in the room when she arrived. They both climbed into bed, Hermione lying ridged on her back and Malfoy pressed into her side. it was clear he was going to force their intimacy no matter how apparent she made her distaste for him.
"Have sweet dreams, Love." He kissed her shoulder and slid his arm across her middle.
No doubt securing that if she tried to leave the bed in the middle of the night he would know about it.
Hermione refused to acknowledge him and found it hard to fall asleep despite how tired crying all afternoon made her. Her mind was humming, working overtime to come up with a plan.
Malfoy stayed awake for as long as she had. His thumb rubbed into her hip, like he was trying to soothe her to sleep, all his touch did was make her want to chop off his hand and shove it up his ass.
.
Malfoy was gone the next morning when she woke up, which was a relief, Hermione was not sure if she could handle a repeat of yesterday. His hands wondering and whispered threats like they were love confessions.
Hermione went and locked herself in her burnt-down bedroom and started working on her wandless magic. It had been almost six months of no access to magic, touching Pansy's wand had given her a rush, but she was starting from zero here.
It took Hermione two full days to turn the lamp on. She was dripping sweat and exhausted, but she had done it. Her first spell of magic in half a year. It could only get easier from there. Too bad things with Malfoy were only getting worse.
After he choked her out, something he completely swept under the rug, he would not stop touching her, forcing her to attend meals with him and forcing conversation out of her.
When she refused Malfoy forced her up and out of her chair and made her sit on his lap for the remainder of the meal. She held worthless nonsensical conversations with him after that. But it seemed to placate him.
He made it very clear that he would be touching her and if she brushed it off he would grab her wrist and force her to stay put until she gave in and accepted his kisses.
Hermione let her rage brew and build up until she had repaired almost everything in that tarnished room. Malfoy's advances only made her stronger and more determined to break free. She let her rage lead her and focused on Draco, the man with beautiful grey eyes waiting for her at home.
Month Six
Hermione had hit a lull with her magic, she was no longer improving and she was not at the level she needed to be to break through the manor wards. She stomped around the manor and the field outside, sat and talked to Levi for a while, but nothing could soothe her.
When dinner time came around Hermione tried to express that she was not in a good mood and would like to miss dinner this one time. Malfoy would hear nothing of the sort, she was to "act accordingly" and sit down to supper with him.
So when Hermione sat and just stared at the table Malfoy forced her up and into his lap. When Hermione resisted in front of him she saw his hand graze his wand and felt a chill tickle down her spine.
Hermione's heart dropped when without permission her body took that last step and turned, sitting gently in his lap. Instead of her legs being together between his, her back was pressed to his chest and her legs were spread wide on either side of his.
"You used an unforgivable on me?" Hermione gasped, not truly believing he would strip that right to be defiant away from her.
Maybe she should have expected this, after all the manipulation and drugging her into submission, using an unforgivable was not that far out of bounds. Hermione had thought, at least on some level that Malfoy really had enough love for her, that he wouldn't take her free will so blatantly.
"Relax sweetheart." He reached forward and picked up a piece of meat holding it in front of her mouth.
"I would like to be excused."
Malfoy's free hand moved from the arm of the chair to her inner thigh, his fingers grazing her bare skin. Hermione wanted to kick herself for wearing shorts this morning and not changing into pants.
"You are expected to join me for all meals, and I graciously allowed you to miss lunch but dinner is non-negotiable."
Hermione slowly unclenched her jaw and allowed him to feed her, hoping it would be over soon enough.
"Will you please stop touching me?"
Malfoy's hand instead of moving away moved closer, his fingertips disappearing under her shorts. Hermion's face flushed red with anger and she moved to remove his touch from her. Malfoy's free hand grabbed both of hers and held them up against her chest.
Hermione held her breath and waited for him to violate her, after a lingering touch he pulled back and helped her to stand.
"Return to your chair Hermione and finish your meal."
She turned and whacked him across the face, "Don't you ever use your wand against me again!"
"Sit down, Hermione." The left side of his face red.
"No."
Malfoy cocked a pale brow. "Sit."
"Go Fuck yours-" Malfoy stood grabbing the back of her hair painfully.
Hermione pressed her palms into his chest and allowed her magic to burst from her, drawing from her rage.
Malfoy seized and shot back into his chair knocking it over. Hermione had no aim but to get him to stop touching her, she did not expect him to go ass over head like that. No doubt pissing him off more than he already was. Good, she was mad too.
Hermione felt the breath leave her lungs and the sickening crack of her head hitting the expensive wooden table. Malfoy climbed over top of it and her. He looked completely murderous. From his spot on the ground, he used his magic to pick her up and drop her on the hardwood.
Dinner was all over them and the floor leaving them a dirty duo, not that either was focused on that at the moment.
Malfoy raises a knife and spears it through the table, inches from her head. Hermione does not look at it, afraid to look away from his face. His head slowly tilted millimetres to the side, black eyes piercing.
"How, the hell, did you do that?" He asked her quietly.
He knew for a fact Hermione had no wand or magical objects on her. But she stuck to her guns and didn't say a word. As long as he did not touch her, she would not make moves against him. Not till she was sure she had enough power to escape for good.
"Answer me, Witch!" Still no response.
Malfoy raised his hand back and smacked the apple of her cheek. Hermione gasped at the pain, her now flaming face pressed to the cold table.
"I am done being nice to the likes of you." He calmly climbed off of her. "You will clean every inch of food from this dining room, then when you are done, you can get on your knees and help the elves clean the cellars because that is where you will be spending your days. Not walking free, not reading books, sitting in the dark. You will come up for meals and to sleep. Go."
Hermione planned on laughing in his face until she saw him raise his wand. Before she had the chance to turn her magic on him again, the same tingle moved through her body, taking away her autonomy.
.
He kept his hold over her for days. She cleaned, sat well-mannered, ate with him at meal times, and followed him into bed every night. His control never wavered. While outwardly she was wearing a polite smile, the one she had seen on every pureblood she'd come across. Inside, Hermione was fuming.
She was leaning against the concert wall in the cellar when Malfoy came walking in, his hair carefully styled and wearing some, no doubt very expensive, dress robes. He beckoned her to come to him, she had no choice but to comply.
"Go to our room, Love. Wash up and put on the clothes I laid out, we have a visitor."
Hermione wanted to ask who, but instead she did what she was told, she took her own sweet time doing it. After nearly two hours, Hermione followed the hushed voices into one of the fancier sitting rooms.
"Look, Pansey has finally remembered herself. She's come to perform the bounding ceremony."
Hermione looked over to the raven-haired former Slytherin. She hopped to god she was here to help her and Malfoy had not forced her here with an unforgivable.
"Hermione, you look stunning." Her smile was reassuring, and Hermione breathed a little easier. "Are you both ready?"
Malfoy straightened up and motioned for Hermione to join him in front of the fireplace. The same fireplace they stood in front of the last time he had tried to make this happen. Hermione knew it was a floo, she hoped to all that was holy that she would be getting out of there that night via the roaring flames.
"Hermione please follow my wand movement and repeat after me."
Wait, what? Hermione frowned, maybe Pansy's smile was as forced as hers had been.
No choice but to comply, Hermione followed all the movements with care. If she did not, Malfoy was going to force her to comply one way or another.
"Draco, did you curse her." The blonde just stared at his friend. "You have to release all bonds to her for the bounding ceremony to be deep and without complications."
With a tick of his jaw and a slight movement of his wand, Hermione felt the curse lift off her. She gasped and had to hold back tears.
"Perfect, Draco it's your turn now."
"You haven't done the fertility spell yet." He reminded her.
"That spell is stronger after you two are already bound." Malfoy stared her down but agreed with a subtle nod.
He followed Pansy and with one last flick of his wand, he shuttered. Malfoy frowned and looked around the room like he was sensing something.
Pansy cleared her throat. "Now Draco lay your hand palm up."
"That's not the pure blood tradition."
"No, but you asked me to find you the most powerful spell, didn't you? So I did, this is part of it, do you want to continue or not."
"Proceed." He raised his hand out into space.
With one skilled rotation of her wand and a muttered spell Malfoy dropped like a rock, body crumpled at their feet.
"We need to move fast, this will only keep him out for minutes. I had Draco bound himself to the house instead of you, even though he will be able to break fairly quickly, we need as much of a head start as we can get."
The fireplace roared and two bodies came stumbling through. Hermione was pushed toward Harry and Ron, Pansy snapping at everyone to "move."
"We've got you, Hermione." Harry held her tight and they both stepped into the fireplace.
She came out into Grimwald's place and nearly sobbed with the relief she was feeling. Ron and Pansy come through seconds apart. Harry pushed them aside to lock down his floo.
Then she was pulled into a hug by carbon copies of her two friends.
"I know it's not you." Harry said looking her over, "But, my god it is so good to see you."
They all had tears in their eyes as they held hands, but Hermione knew this was too simple, she needed to end this.
"He'll come for me. I can't leave him alive, there is nothing stopping him from coming to my time and trying to take me back."
"We know," Ron told her. "It's why we came here, Malfoy has ties here, it's his mother's family home. We just need to wait for him to arrive. But that is not your problem, we will take care of the ferret."
"No. I can't risk going home and not knowing if you were successful. I need to end it."
"Then we will be by your side 'Mione, always."
Hermione smiled at Harry, "Thanks."
Pansy wasn't kidding when she said Draco would not be held for long. Fifteen minutes was all they had before he arrived outside. Hermione exited the back of the home and rounded it to come up behind Malfoy, with wandless magic she commanded his wand into her hand. She snapped it in two before he had the chance to turn on her.
Malfoy's hands clenched in anger, as she tossed the two parts to the side. Raising her hands she sends him flying back into the stairs.
Hermione stood over him as Malfoy shook off the fall. "I will never love you."
Malfoy tackled her down onto the street, she landed face-first. Malfoy ripped at her clothes and pressed her face into the unforgiving concrete. Hermione tried to crawl out from under him but pulled her back.
"You stupid bitch!" He pulled on her hair, forcing her to arch her back.
"You are a coward!" She shouted, tears in her eyes.
Malfoy dropped his hold on her, switching positions. He lifted up just enough to roll Hermione onto her back. He ripped at her dress robes, trying to tear them from her body.
Malfoy a stranger to muggle tactics did not know well enough to keep his legs closed while in a fight. Once she had the chance Hermione kicked hard upward, nailing him in the balls. He fell on top of her, his shoulder cracking her hard in the nose sending blood gushing over her chin and neck.
Hermione grunted, using all her body weight to roll the wizard off of her, but he kept fighting. Not allowing her to throw him off, he used his body mass against her. Hermione heard the front door fly open and winched as Malfoy hit her.
Reaching out for a rock or something to hit him with, Hermione hand found the pieces of his broken wand. She grabbed it, and without thought jammed it into the side of his neck, hitting the artery.
Warm blood poured down onto her, darkening the ashfault around them. Soaking into Hermione's back.
The boys pulled Malfoy off of her and Pansy helped Hermione to her feet. Hermione dropped the wand and looked down into the blank, lifeless eyes of her abuser.
"We'll take care of the body," Ron told her.
Hermione reached out, silently asking Harry for his wand. He gave it to her, watching her carefully.
Magic rushed through her body, "Incendio."
They all took a step back, the flames warming them. Pansy was quick to case a notice me not, just in case anyone's eyes were drawn by the fire in the middle of the street. Might be a bit too odd a sight in Muggle London.
"I couldn't leave anything to chance." She told them.
Pansy pulled her into a side hug, "We understand."
As there was nothing left for them to devour, the flames burned off.
"Let's get you home," Harry said, offering her a smile.
.
Present
Hermione had endured so much to get back to these people, only to be a crying mess on the floor of her best friend's living room. After gentle coaxing by Harry, Hermione moved off the floor to sit on the couch.
Draco was keeping his distance. It had been made clear by Hermione's reaction to him that he was only making things worse, so he forced himself to let Potter take the lead.
"Hermione, you were gone over half a year. Something obviously happened, more than what little you told the doctors earlier. We are all here for you, please talk to us."
She shook her head. How could she tell her boyfriend about how while he was here working around the clock to bring her back, she was having sex and almost becoming bound to his evil twin? That seemed too big, too unforgivable. She could not possibly tell him any of that, but she did not know if she could act normal around him right now either.
He won't be able to understand that, not without context. He would want to know why, deserved to know.
"Shell cottage, are Flure and Bill still up there?"
Ginny came back into the room carrying tea. "They only go up in the fall now, they won't need the place for another couple of months yet."
"Do you think they'd mind if I went up there for a couple of days?"
"A couple of days!?" Draco paused, lowering his voice. "Hermione, whatever you've faced these last months, you don't need to face it alone now. We are here, I am here."
Hermione shivered, Harry reached around her to put a blanket over her shoulders. Much like other Harry had done less than a day ago when Pansy was healing all her injuries.
"We're here for you." Harry reiterated.
"I know you can't understand unless I explain it to you, I just don't have the words. I don't understand it enough myself to attempt to make it make sense to anyone else."
Draco's grey eyes danced over her, taking in every micro expression.
"Can we have a minute alone?"
Hermione immediately grabbed Harry's hand, closing her eyes immediately at her cowardice. Had she not just called Malfoy a coward hours prior? Releasing her friend's hand, Hermione tried to give him her brave big girl smile.
After a comforting hug, Harry and Ginny went into the kitchen. No doubt still wanting to be able to listen in, Hermione's eyes followed them, avoiding Draco.
"I'm not going to attempt moving closer, I'm picking up on the fact that it's me making you uncomfortable, I just can't figure out why."
"It's not you."
"Not Me, here. But before he took you, the kid said I had raised him. Was there another me where you were?"
It took her a moment, even a slight admission felt like too big a reveal, but she did not kill a man to return home only to ruin it.
So she nodded and watched the pale skin of your boyfriend pale a little more.
"He said I was Voldemort's right-hand man, that I was in love with you and went mad when you died." He said, "I was different in that time, darker?"
The fact that Draco was putting this all together without her having to tell him, Hermione felt the pressure on her chest release only slightly. He was trying to make this easier, better, he had always been good at doing that for her.
"I hurt you." There was a long silence between them.
Hermione looked at the watch on the wall, "I stabbed him with his own wand, burned his body so he couldn't come after me again."
It was clear from her monotone voice that Hermione was disassociation, or maybe she was sucked back into a memory of an alternate time.
"Levi?"
"No. Malfoy."
"What happened to Levi?"
"Malfoy killed him, he said we had gotten too close."
Draco swallowed, his heart breaking. "I'll stay with Blaise for a few days, you stay at the house. I'd prefer you not to be up at the cottage all alone."
Hermione chewed her bottom lip, thinking over the suggestion. Noticing how it was not a command, but an expression of concern.
"Okay." She agreed.
"I- I'll come by in three days for dinner, ok? I want to give you the space you ask for, but. I would like to see you in three days if that's alright."
"I would like that."
She knew she was hurting him, and Draco was trying so hard to put her first, above his own wants. She could handle having dinner with him in a couple of days, at least she hoped she would be able to.
"I will go home and pack, I'll only need ten minutes or so. If you- if you need anything these next few days, please call me, or Potter." He added last minute. "But I hope you call me."
Hermione nodded, not knowing how to navigate this awkwardness with him. Draco stood, and with one last look at her, he made his exit.
"I'm assuming you heard that." She called out to the two in the kitchen.
Harry came in while Ginny stayed behind. "We did. That's some heavy stuff, Hermione. Are you sure you want to be alone right now?"
"I've wanted nothing more for several months."
So with hugs and promises to be there whenever she needed him, Harry watched Hermione disappear through the floo.
.
After a night of tears and flashbacks, Hermione knew it was going to take more than sheer will to beat this trauma. She did not want to use a mind healer, the wizarding world knew too much of her business already. Instead, Hermione called her old therapist. The one her dad had found her after her fourth year. The nightmares were coming nightly and she needed someone to talk to.
"You were kidnapped and held hostage Hermione. Abused by someone who had promised to love you and forced to take their life to save your own, is a lot to digest. Especially coming home to an established relationship. It seems like Draco is being understanding about your inability to pick up where you left off."
Of course, Hermione had to fudge a few things, but all in all, just talking things out with Diane was soothing the fear and anxiety swirling inside of her.
"It feels impossible, like I'll never feel ready to let him in."
"Distance from the trauma will ease that. Every week you will start to feel less attached to it, and you will be able to remove yourself from it. I do want you to consider something before our next session." Which was the morning before her dinner with Draco. "Be kind to yourself, you deserve space to heal."
"I'll try."
Hermione let herself cry, and yell and she clung to her wand. All the lights in her home were left on at all times, she wanted to avoid shadows. Something she had not been allotted after the war was time to heal. Maybe some of that was creeping in now too, she was definitely having nightmares about it.
So When she saw Diane again, she talked more openly and shared more of her experiences, things she'd been too ashamed to admit before. Like the sex they had and the fact that she had given in early on, she had picnics and let him read to her, shared kisses freely. Diane gave her resources on Stockholm syndrome and other similar resources.
Diane was very good at that, taking an issue and normalizing it. Validating Hermione's feelings while also explaining the actuality behind the situation. Survival mode is not consent.
"You are having dinner with Draco tonight?"
"Yes. I'm nervous about seeing him again."
"Why?"
"I'm worried seeing him will trigger me, that I won't be able to act like myself. I know this is hurting him, the distance, I'm not trying to upset him."
"From what you've told me about him, he seems like a very understanding guy. If you plan on rebuilding your relationship, there is something to consider. You said he kissed your shoulder your first night back, just like the other man had and it triggered you." Hermione nodded. "Draco can't adjust or navigate your triggers if he doesn't know what they are."
"That is not to say that you should tell him everything or anything at all. Right now, all he can do is guess and that may cause him to make a lot of mistakes."
"I don't know if he can forgive me for what I did."
"What you were forced to do to survive, even if you felt like you entered situations willingly, you were not acting of your own free will. I can not promise that the information won't be upsetting, but you never need Draco to know those things, not if you don't want him to."
"Can I see you again tomorrow?"
"Yes, set up an appointment with Della on your way out, and you have my number if you need to reach me tonight."
"I do. Thank you."
"Take care."
Hermione was a ball of nerves all afternoon. They had not said what their plan was for dinner and Hermione was not sure if she would be able to eat. Not with all the butterflies in her stomach.
Just to give herself something to do, Hermione made chicken alfredo. They could eat it or not, she really did not care, but it gave her something to occupy her time other than just sitting and obsessing.
Dinner rolled around and Draco came to the front door and knocked at 6:10.
Hermione opened the door and frowned at him, "I didn't lock the floo."
Draco rubbed his neck nervously, "Yeah, I thought I would give you the option to not answer if you weren't ready to see me."
Hermione softened at the sweet consideration for her feelings. She stepped back and let Draco into their home. She left the door for him to close, waking ahead into the kitchen.
"I realized we did not really make a plan so I made food, but we can order something or make something else."
"It's perfect Hermione."
"Okay."
They stared at each other, "I'm nervous."
"Me too," Draco admitted.
He had spent the last two days talking Blaise's ear off. Draco could only imagine what a darker version of himself would have done to her. The thoughts were endless and made him sick to his stomach. Blaise tried to distract him, but Draco could not be distracted.
Hermione was in their home struggling and he was not able to help because his face was the same as her captors, her abusers. It was the worst sort of torment, though Draco knew Hermione had it worse.
Hermione served plates and Draco reached over to take them and bring them into the dining room.
"Could we eat on the patio instead?" Hermione asked, not following him.
"Sure." He easily agreed.
Plates in hand he led the way, using a little wandless magic to to open the doors so she would not have to.
The table was smaller and had them sitting closer together, something Hermione had not thought about. She just knew she did not want to eat at their dining table. She slid her chair back as far as was not weird and Draco did the same.
He took a couple of bits to be polite, ever the pureblood, then laid his fork down. Hermione herself could not even stomach a bite, she was too nervous.
"Are you settling back in okay?" Hermione nodded, "Good."
They lapsed into an awkward silence, something they had never experienced with one another. They always had long stimulating conversations and comfortable silences.
"This is ridiculous, all I did was try to get back here to you and here we are and I can't- I feel- this feels impossible."
"Hermione-"
"Because I know the logic. I can rationalize every moment and see it for what it was, then I think of myself there and the logic no longer makes sense. Not when my emotions are involved."
"I'm not in any rush Granger, I want you to take all the time you need to figure this out. Even if that means being apart for longer." Though it killed him to say it, he gladly would if it meant getting back to her in the end.
"We shouldn't have to lose any more time." Hermione looked down frustrated. "I'm just not ready."
"It's not losing time if, in the end, we get us back."
"What if I can't, ever."
Draco swallowed his immediate rebuttal. "I lost myself in the war, in my father's shadow. In the beginning, getting back was impossible, but over time I did find myself again. A different version, but still me."
"This isn't just me, it's you too."
"Don't worry about me. I don't matter here-"
"Yes, you do. I know I hurt you the other night."
"It hurts to see you hurting, and it bothers me that I can't fix it. That just me being here is probably triggering, even if I manage to not do anything wrong. This face hurt you for seven months, my face. I don't know what he did Hermione, but I can promise you, I would never do a single one of those things."
"I believe you." She did, he would never be capable of those things.
Maybe in another life, but not this one. Not where he helped them win the war working alongside her.
"I don't even need to know details, not unless you want to share them with me. I promise you, I will try my best to erase every single one of your days with him for the rest of our lives."
Hermione mainly focused on Draco for the rest of the night, asking him questions and learning what everyone had been up to this last half year, other than looking for her.
He bid her goodbye at the end of the night, not touching her and leaving a couple of feet between their bodies at all times.
Harry and Draco kept her return under wraps. They wanted to give Hermione as much alone time as she could get before the news spread and their friends and families found out about her return.
Draco remained at Blaise's for another two weeks. Going over to the house for Dinner every couple of days. Hermione had even called him one night. They did not talk about anything of consequence, but he so so damn happy to hear from her on a non-scheduled day, he would have talked about anything.
Hermione continued her sessions with Diane every two days. They worked hard and discussed every deep dark moment Hermione could think to share.
When Draco came to dinner that night, Hermione told him about Levi, sharing their love for books and old rock music, all the positive little moments. She still never talked about Malfoy or anything of consequence.
Draco called her "Love" one night and she burst into tears. He had been cutting ham another night, a big silver knife in hand. Hermione felt the blade against her throat, heard the whispered threat and had to leave the room to calm down in the bathroom.
After each setback Hermione would cancel their following dinner, needing more space and time with her therapist before seeing him again. When they would come back to dinner, Hermione would apologize and Draco would tell her he understood.
Hermione had been home a month and a half when she proposed for Draco to move back into the house.
They were eating the takeaway that he brought, they had graduated from the terrace outside to the dining room table. Soft music playing from the living room. Hermione put on a simple plum purple wrap dress, she had about it before she went away and had not had the chance to wear it.
"I want you to move back into the house."
Draco choked on his spoon full of stew, his grey eyes shooting up to hers.
"I can move into the guest room and you can stay in our room. I know that isn't ideal but you living with Blaise, when you aren't working I want you to be here in our home. Will you move back in?"
Draco smiled, "Yes, I would love that."
"Okay." she smiled back, "Me too."
"But I'll take the guest room. Because when you are ready for us to sleep in the same bed again, I don't want it to be such a big transition."
Hermione thought about it, she did not want to put Draco out more than she already was. What he said did make sense, so she agreed.
"I will get my things after dinner and come back tonight?"
"Sounds perfect."
"Yeah, it does."
Hermione spent the next few weeks locking her door at night and stayed in her room some mornings after a rough nightmare. The nightmares still plagued her, not every night, but most.
Draco never pushed her, always followed her lead. They hugged when they said goodbye and he kissed her on the cheek once or twice, but that was as close a contact as was comfortable for her. Draco just seemed happy to be getting back into some sort of routine with her, he never complained. They stayed in this stagnant living situation for the rest of the year, getting more and more comfortable around each other the more time they had to reconnect.
Hermione had setbacks but they always handled them together. In the beginning, the setbacks were major but as the year closed they were handled rather quickly and were less traumatic for them both.
Hermione went from seeing Diane every two days to once a week and now she was seeing her every second Tuesday. Things were definitely looking up.
The annual Christmas Eve party was Draco and Hermione's first outing since she had come home. As Hermione saw it, everyone would be there, she would rather one night of being bombarded than many separate occasions. Though she doubted many people in attendance would be rude enough to outright accost her. If she made her entrance back into society now, she could stop worrying about it.
"Hermione, Harry and Ginny are here." Draco knocked on the bedroom door.
"I'll be down in just a moment."
Hermione wore a long ivory gown with gold accents and jewelry to compliment it. Whites, reds, greens and blacks. That is what the invite had said, clearly red would be an obvious choice. So many times in her past Hermione had gone with red, but tonight she wanted to blend in a little more.
She came downstairs to see her boyfriend and friends waiting for her.
Draco came up and took Hermione's hand planting a kiss on each finger, "You look stunning."
"You look very handsome." He smiled and led her toward the group.
The party was in full swing when they arrived. Draco planned for them to arrive twenty minutes after the festivities would start, that way there would be more people in the room and fewer eyes would be on them. Though he knew Hermione would draw quite the gaze, not only in her dress but in her attendance.
After five months of looking for her, Harry and Draco decided to announce that Hermione was missing. They hoped to find someone who would step forward and aid in finding her. Painful as it was to admit, Hermione and her Gryffindor ways saved herself in the end.
Hermione and Draco had partaken in an outing or two since she had been back in preparation for tonight. They wanted word of her return to spread so the shock of seeing her would be minimized.
Draco was struggling with the pace of things in their relationship. He was so grateful she was back home and after months finally settling back into herself. Hermione did not watch him out of the corner of her eye anymore or unconsciously take a step back when he stepped toward her.
He knows it will take time, and he will wait forever for her, but there were moments he mourned what they had. The light and easiness he had never felt with someone before, he found in their relationship. He would be damned if that were to ever be taken from him because of "Malfoy". That's how she referred to that version, to her they were completely separate beings, even though it was still his last name.
He knew Hermione saw a muggle mind healer, he too had reconnected with his own mind healer. Hermione talked about Logic and how her logic and feelings did not always line up. He was having a similar problem because he had been him who had harmed her.
Draco had been capable of Dark magic and prat-like behaviour during the war, he could only imagine if he had stayed under Voldemort for another decade. He is capable of the things "Malfoy" had done, and he had gone a little mad when his Hermione was taken. It was hard to not feel guilty for the actions of "Malfoy." The mind healer was helping him walk through it and make it make sense, logically.
Hermione stayed at his side as they entered the event. Her arm wrapped around his, her side pressed close to his. Draco smiled to himself, she trusted him. Physical touch had been slow going those last four months, it was something they had been working towards.
Cheek kisses and hugs for goodbyes. Snuggling up together on the couch for movie nights or just to read and be in each other's space. Draco let Hermione lead every step of the way because as much as they talked, she still wasn't talking about "her time away", as she calls it.
Little things she allowed, like Levi and how they lived in the manor, things about how that war turned out and how she did not have sex with Voldemort, but he rather placed his live force inside her with a spell when he died. Nothing about Malfoy or their experience together.
"It looks lovely this year, I love all the twinkle lights."
Draco looked over at her 'I love you' He thought. Blaise and Theo joined their foursome. They treated Hermione as they normally would, the little group kept to them selves for most of the night.
Hermione had caught Ron's eye and tensed up, Draco followed her gaze. While she had been temped all night, Hermione had been rather relaxed and the change in body language startled him. When the bright red hair and pale freckled face were pointed in their direction, at Hermione, Draco understood.
"I'm going to go talk to him."
Harry followed her gaze, "He's not for you to worry about Hermione, he won't come over here."
Ron raised his hand and waved slightly, then stood there waiting for her decision.
"If you feel compelled to talk to him, maybe another time over tea would be better." Draco offered.
"No, he clearly wants to talk to me and I have some things I want to say."
With a clenched jaw, Draco released his hold on her and glared eyes at Weasely as she crossed the room to him. If that asshole step out of line or sent Hermione back in her recovery Draco was going to be pissed.
"He won't hurt her, she'll be alright."
'He's already hurt her,' Draco thought.
He planned to keep an eye on her and interrupt the conversation if he noticed her getting upset, but their conversation was not party talk. Draco watched as they both disappeared out onto the balcony.
"Ron, how are things at work?"
"Good, you know, I'm up for a promotion next month."
"Good luck."
"Thanks." Ron put his hands in his pockets, "I heard you were missing, I tried to ask Harry about it but he was tight-lipped."
"Can you blame him? I mean after everything that happened, we aren't friendly anymore."
"I still care about you Hermione, where were you?"
"It doesn't much matter, I'm back now and I'm putting it all behind me, including what happened with us." Hermione crossed her arms. "You tried to force me into having kids with you and, god you tampered with my monthly potions. I want kids, you knew that, I just needed more time. Why did it have to be so rushed and some sort of trick?"
"You were pulling away from me, you wanted kids and- I come from a big family, to me having kids and settling down is love, you were denying us that happiness."
"So you thought the best course of action was to pressure me until you wore me down and I would just give in, have a family with someone who tried to manipulate me?"
"I can't change what I did 'Mione. Looking back I know it's wrong, but at the time it seemed like the way to show you love, to keep you. I'm sorry."
"People grow apart and so did we. We can wave in public, and share a polite chat at parties, but we can't be who we were when we were kids, not anymore."
"Yeah, I figured."
"Good luck with that promotion."
"Thank you, I'm glad you're alright Hermione."
"I'm getting there."
Feeling good about officially closing the Ron chapter in her life, Hermione moved back through the party looking for her friends.
"Hermione Granger." She turned at her name and froze.
"Richard Larkin." She addressed him, recovering quickly.
"I hope there are no hard feelings about me filling your role in the office."
"Of course not, I understand they had to move on. I'm glad they found someone who could do the job."
"Yes, well, would you care for a dance? I'd love to hear your thoughts on the new bill I'm drafting."
Hermione stiffened, "Maybe another time."
Richard reached out and grabbed her wrist stepping forward, "People have seen me invite you to dance, walking away now would be an embarrassment to the both of us."
Hermione mind spun in a way it hadn't in months. Malfoy grabbed her arm and forced her into his lap, his hands roaming her unwilling body.
"Lead the way." She forced herself to say.
Richard slid his hand up her arm to make her way onto the dance floor. Draco intercepted them just before they reached the dancing area. Hermione's shoulders sagged with relief.
"My apologies Larkin, I need to borrow Miss Granger here for a pressing matter."
It was clear Richard was unpleased with the interruption but it was also clear Draco would not be denied. She had seen the same look on Malfoy's face, he had frightened her, but Draco made her feel protected.
"Another song perhaps Miss Granger."
"Perhaps."
Hermione let Draco lead her away and into one of the rooms off the ballroom. She was shaking slightly, her breath increasing as she allowed herself to fall apart in this private moment.
"You're ok Hermione, just breath."
"I know. Just give me a minute." She leaned back against the wall, closing her eyes.
Instead of Malfoy's hard grip and forceful voice, she replaced it with Draco's light touches and kind words of encouragement. It was a strategy Diane suggested. Now that she was passed the shock of the trauma she endured, Hermione could start building a path forward.
She made Draco her stone number one and built it up from there. Any time she had a bad memory, dream or flashback, she replaced the moments with ones of her and Draco, before she went away and since she had been back.
It was working, little by little, the darker memories were fading. Though there were some moments that would always be with her, but she would learn to live with those, with the help of her boyfriend.
"Was it Larkin?"
Hermione nodded, "He grabbed me, and tried to force me into dancing with him. It just reminded me of something else."
Draco nodded, "And Weasley, do I need to kick his ass too?"
Snorting, Hermione rolled her eyes playfully. "We actually had a good talk, and figured out where we stood. We can't be friends anymore but you can't erase several years of friendship."
Draco may have to silently agree to disagree on that one, but whatever Hermione wanted.
"Do you want to head home?"
"No. I want to talk to our friends some more while I lose the rest of the feelings in my toes."
Draco smiled and offered her his arm, "As you wish."
Hermione stepped forward but did not take his arm. Slowly she pushed up on her toes and leaned forward, hands brushing against Draco's cheeks. She felt his body freeze up as she kissed him. It had been so out of practice for them that Hermione pushed through her insecurity to give him a moment to catch up.
Lightly Draco's hands found their way to her waist, his lips moved with hers. After a couple of moments, Hermione dropped back onto her heels. Their hands still in place on one another.
"I love you."
Draco blinked to swallow back tears, "I love you."
Hermione smiled, going in for one more kiss. Every time she had tried to say it in the past and imagined Draco saying those three words back to her, she heard Malfoy saying those words to her, and her bitter response in negation.
But she felt none of that now, there was no third party intruding on this moment in their relationship. Hermione laughed with relief and joy for their future. Draco joined in, pulling her into a tight hug.