Lo'ak woke up to the marui filled with sound. He frowned. The last few weeks, he woke to silence becuase of the time he woke up. Did he oversleep? He surely didn't feel tired.

He cleared his blurred vision to see his family was setting up breakfast. He heaved himself as he watched his family go about their day as if he wasn't there. And to be honest, lo'ak wasnt angry at them for it. He could still see the looks on their faces when they see neteyam. The looks of grief. When their gaze meets lo'ak, it changes. He forced himself up, cuddling onto his blanket waves. It was dawn. He saw outside the window. He didn't oversleep, his family just woke up early. Why?

He was snapped out of his thoughts when he felt his hair being shuffled. That hand creeped in down to his neck, giving lo'ak a strange, yet very familiar feeling. He felt a wave of panic over him. He didn't dare let him do it again. He shook his head and hissed at who ever was doing it and violently threw the hand of his neck. He looked over to see neteyam staring at him with an unreadable expression. He was holding his hand, as if trying to share his feelings with lo'ak without talking. Lo'ak didn't understand.

He just felt a wave of guilt wash over him. Was that how he looked at him? How had he never realised it? He had every reason to give him that hurt look. Was he blaming him?

"Sorry." He mumbled. He scratched his head, secretly checking for a bruise. He looked down to the floor. "Thought you were someone else." He heard neteyam hum.

"Nah, it's okay bro. As if you can hurt the great mighty warrior!" Despite his statement, there was no arrogance in his tone. He was just joking to lift up lo'ak's move. That was what neteyam was always like. Never angry.

"Pfft. Whatever." Lo'ak snorted. He stood up troded towards the exit of the marui. As he got to the exit, he saw a shadow moving towards him. He saw his father step across, infront of him.

"Where are you going?" Jake asked, holding a basket full of fruit. Lo'ak blinked. Huh. Those were all of his favourite fruit, weren't they? Lo'ak looked up to his father.

"Out." He said simply. He had no actual idea of where he was going to. He just wanted to leave. He didn't like being cooped up in here. He didn't want to face his family anymore. He just wanted out.

"Where to?" His father pushed harder. Lo'ak stared. He wanted this conversation over with.

"Not here." He shrugged. He looked down to the sound, avoiding any eye contact with his father. What look would he give him now? He looked up hesitatantly to see his father holding an unreadable face expression.

"Lo'ak." Jake crossed his arms. "Where are you going?" Lo'ak frowned. His father's words didn't feel as harsh as they were before. Why was that? What did he do?

He felt his jaw clenching. His mouth felt dry. He stared at his father for a few more seconds before looking across the reef, that was laid out to be home for them. He didn't like the reef. But that was where he was stuck for now. He wanted somewhere, where he wouldn't be reminded of that. He hated the reef's land.

"I don't know." Lo'ak mumbled. He had no lie to tell. Not when he found no reason to not tell his dad. His father couldn't possibly dislike that answer, right? He knew he screwed up on alot of things, well, everything. He even ruined things with tsireya, someone who saw him. Someone he liked. A friend. Or more. He ruined it with her. Since the event with neteyam, he has barely spoke to her. He just went to payakan. He couldn't face her dissatisfied look so how can he ever face his father's? Slowly, he looked up. He was met with his father's questioning look, one eyebrow raised. So he continued, "I just wanted to find a spot without sand."

"Why?" Jake asked, his posture softening a bit.

"I'm sick of it." Lo'ak just sighed, a lump in his throat. He was confused on how he had to explain more for his father to understand. They all missed the grass of the forests right? He did. He was only reminded of some mistakes but it was better then here. His father must miss the forest. That was where he met his mother and raised his siblings and him. Why doesn't he understand? But then again, he never understood him. Was there anyone that actually understood? He didn't know. He didn't bother finding an answer. Somethings you'd want to be unknown. this was one of the things lo'ak preferred not to know, despite his adventurous self.

"You can go on the rocks. You can go with neteyam." He pointed his head at his older brother. He then opened his mouth and called out. "Neteyam!" His brother shook his head, seemingly out of deep thought. He looked to his father and answered.

"Yes, sir."

Lo'ak shook his head. He started feeling his throught lump. He gulped it down and felt suprised when he felt it come back up. He cleared his thought. He can't cry. Not with his dad here. He still wondered whether Jake will be pleased with the feelings he's been hiding. Would he even be pleased he opened up?

"Yeah. I don't want to go to the rocks." He shrugged before his father gave him an unreadable look. Lo'ak stepped aside his father and began to walk out.

"Not so fast, Lo'ak." His father started. Lo'ak took a breath before turning around, ready to see his father's face. Jake continued, "I said you will have to learn to be with this family. We are having breakfast. You are eating with us. No excuses."

Lo'ak hesitatantly nodded. "Yes, sir."

"Good." He paused for a second. "Now scram." No hostility in his voice. Lo'ak felt his jay clenching, again. Mouth too dry, he went to drink some water.

Lo'ak stood, once again, on the table with his family. They were served some fruit which lo'ak quite liked. One of his favourites, actually. He stared. Why wasn't he eating? He should start.

So he did. He placed the fruit in his mouth and smiled at the juicy sensation that came with it. He smiled at the taste. It reminded him of the forest. He hadn't had one of these in ages. They were very common in the forest, but he hasn't seen them on the reef before. He smiled at the recognition.

"You like the fruit, lo'ak?" Neytiri asked, seeing her son smiling for what felt like the first time in ages. She never saw her son smile. It was on rare occasions.

"Yes, I do." He answered bluntly. He looked up from his plate of food, the small smile has faded.

Neytiri smiled. "That's good." She didn't like how blunt her son was. He had been so distant that it hurt her. It was like they still lost a son. Neteyam may have been shot by a bullet but lo'ak was shot by something else.

"We found it on the other side of the island." Kiri confirmed, stuffing some of the grapes into her mouth. She couldn't help but feel a wave of nostalgia. "We're going again. Wanna come?"

Lo'ak stared and put on a stretched smile. He had to be careful. Or else he would get into another fight with his family. He cannot take another fight so soon. He cannot fathom that pain again.

"Yeah. Maybe. If I have the time." He placed another piece of fruit in his mouth. They didn't taste the same. Back in the forest, the fruit doesn't have the same watering sweetness. It didnt grow the same. "They taste different."

"That's becuase they were grown on the reef!" Tuk exclaimed proudly. She raised one of her hands in the air, holding a fruit. Lo'ak smiled. He would sometimes feel bad for tuk. She was 7, and she had to grow up in a war. She saw her brother, her older brother, shot. Almost bleeding to death. Lo'ak felt a lump in his throught. How can he do that to his sister? His baby sister. He stared at tuk once again. Her posture turning straight, pointing a finger at jake. "Dad told me! Fruits grow differently in different islands because of the different inve- invy- invyromentz?" She struggled with the words. Testing it out on her tongue and frowning at the displacement.

"Environment." Jake corrected.

"Yeah! Invyroment!" She repeated with a heavy, unsure accent. Still smiling, she continued. "Some fruits grow better in different places! These are best growing in the our home! The Lai- layers? Layers! The layers of the forest even the light that feeds the plant. The good amount of rain helping the plant to grow. So it is best in the forest. It's rare on the reef because it is not same invyroment!" She giggled at the word. "There are no layers of leafs. Or any other big things like those brown things with leafs in the forest!"

"They're called trees, tuk." Neteyam smiled at her sister's words.

"Tris?" She tested it on her tongue.

"Try stretching the middle. The 'I', because it is spelled with two 'E's. The letters from the word list of sky people words." Kiri mumbled through her mouth filled with fruit.

"It's called the alphabet." Jake added. It seems his children have forgotten that.

Lo'ak tested the word on his tongue through a whisper as his siblings vocally do the same.

"Alfabec? No. No. Alfabet." He shook his head and said it a little louder to hear himself. "Alphabet?" ,

"Yes, lo'ak. You got it right." Lo'ak lifted his head to see it was his dad who said it. He had to see him talk to recognize his voice? He frowned. There was no negativity in it, none at all so it was hard for lo'ak to recognise it. Was he that much of a failure?

"Alfathebt" Tuk shook her head once more. Muttering to herself. Lo'ak tried focusing on his little sister. As tuk was a complete suprise, and years apart from them, she hasnt got the same training because of the war. She didn't get to learn the english words so preffieantly. She got frustrated At it sometimes. But lo'ak found it quite funny, cute even. It represented the na'vi in her. In his eyes, that's a nice sign. It also represented her great character. "Alfabet?" She always got there in the end. Like she did now. Sure, heavy accent was still there and all. But it represented her really well.

"Alphabet?" Neteyam joined in.

"Alphabet." Kiri smiled proudly.

After a second of a warm silence. Lo'ak, not thinking to himself at all, spoke.

"I said it first, so..." Lo'ak put a piece of fruit into his mouth as Kiri mimicked him and tuk huffed crossing his arms, neteyam only rolling his eyes with no annoyance whatsoever.

Neytiri smiled.

Lo'ak stepped foot in the sand. He walked through the seemingly, infinite source of grains as he faces the sea. As much as he wanted to closure himself with the cleanliness of the water, he cannot. He knows what his father's orders were.

He stares back at the sand. Did the grains ever stop? Or was the source infinite? If he were to drown in it as he were to in the sea, would he hit a rock bottom or would he be falling forever? Or stuck in the middle of layers and layers and layers of sand, buried, caged up. Was that was the reef's sand was? A cage? It was small, but it tended to stick to you and surround you in the reef.

It kept whispering to him, telling him that he doesn't belong here. He is not a reef's person. His home is the forest. He cannot enjoy himself like he did back there. Because the things he loved were far, far away. The people who actually respected him were people that were able to look through one title, 'half-breed boy' and see another title, 'son of toruk makto'. Never lo'ak. No one seems to see him. But atleast he was allowed to be oblivious to their sugar-coded kindness and respect. Here, people were an open book. They hate him. End of story. Always outcast, never him.

"Lo'ak!"

He turned around at the sound of his name. He gulped when seeing them. Tsireya, ao'nung and rotxo staring at him, on their ilus. His siblings, doing the same. Tuk was the one to call out for him.

"What is it?" He managed to ask. He grimanced at what might be going through their heads. He had completely ghosted them after the war between the sky people, not bothering to consider how they might be feeling. He grew up in war, he could be ready for the pain and loss to come. The war was thrown onto them. Tsireya was stuck with neteyam's bleeding body while he and his family's return was still unsure to her. He never properly comforted her after, did he?

"Come on and play with us!" Tuk beamed. Using her hands, lifting them in the water and exposing them to the freedom of the air. Droplets of water splashing onto his upper body, the wind pulling portions of water to land on his face. Some getting on his hands. He looked down to his hands. It still felt filthy, but he felt the blood feeling more vague when the water had just hit him. Whenever he feels his body consumed by water, he only feels the closure brang by it. It's like being constantly hugged. You only feel the warmth. It reminded him of how his father used to comfort him back when the war started. When he learnt of the loss that could have came with war, he was terrified finding out that it could happen to him. Jake must of seen him, and reached him into a hug. Lo'ak only felt the loving warmth that came, the fear disappeared.

"Lo'ak? Lo'ak! Lo'ak! Lo'aaaaakkkkk!" Lo'ak shook himself out of thought when hearing his little sister's pleases for his appearance.

"What?" Lo'ak spat. Sick of hearing her voice over and over again.

"Come play with us!" Tsireya smiled delightfully at the forest boy. Lo'ak stared at her smile before tearing his eyes away from her a second later. Whenever he saw tsireya, he was reminded of the ocean. She gave the same closure. But with what he had done to her, he cannot face her.

"What were you daydreaming about?" Kiri asked, her hair wet from swimming in the sea.

"Yeah!" Tuk nodded. "I wanna know that too!"

"You've been daydreaming alot lately. Why is that?" Neteyam frowned at himself. Lo'ak didn't understand his antics.

"I was thinking if dad would allow me." Lo'ak muttered. He felt the guilt building another void on his chest. You don't lie, if you do then are you even true na'vi? He didn't bother thinking of it. After all, he did have demon blood running through his veins. It should be understandable.

"We can ask." Neteyam nodded at the marui.

"Why can you not? Why has your dad stopped you from it?" Tsireya asked, more concerned then before. The knowledge of lo'ak's issues with his father was not exactly news to her. She had often heard lo'ak stressing out due to these reasons, being there to witness it aswell.

"I am band from any activities." Lo'ak grumbled, starting to feel embarrassed.

"Band?" Rotxo raised an eyebrow.

"Forget that word. What does the other word mean?" Ao'nung asked.

"Activities?" Lo'ak had forgotten that the sky people language is unknown to them. Ao'nung, tsireya and rotxo nodded. "Oh. It's when something is happening or it is being done. Like collecting sea shells. That is like an activity."

"Okay... then what about you doing these aktivitees?" Tsireya asked, voice steady with using the new word.

"I'm not allowed to do them. That is what band means." Lo'ak muttered. Playing with the sand with his feet. Somewhat embarrassed. Ao'nung smirked.

"Then you can ask your dad if you can play with us." Tsireya smiled.

Lo'ak looked up cousiously. He looked at tsireya and frowned when seeing ao'nung smirking at him. His smirk was wiped off.

"It's okay. I just dont want to talk to anyone right now." Lo'ak shrugged. "I dont want anyone to bother me right now..." He teared his eyes from the group of navi staring at him. He felt uncomfortable. "I'm gonna go."

So he did.

Lo'ak lingered in the shadows of the reef. Exploring every part of the island. The more he stepped on the sand, the more irritated he got. What was up with him lately. He had gotten angry for now reason.

"Hey buddy."

Lo'ak lifted his head up to see his human friend staring down at him. It was then that he realized that he was crouching down. If he weren't, then spider would have to face up to look him in the eyes.

"Hey, bro." He moved himself across the log, gesturing spider to sit next to him.

Spider recognised the gesture and sat down next to his friend. Now, spider wasnt tiny. But next to lo'ak, he sure as did look like it. Which was reasonable. The hight difference between humans and na'vi was quite big.

"So what's up with you?" Lo'ak heard his friend ask.

"Nothing." Lo'ak replied nonchalantly.

"Right." Spider nodded, fiddling with his fingers awkwardly. After he returned, he had no time to catch up with Lo'ak.

Because Lo'ak never let him.

Lo'ak let out a sigh. "Listen, you... you, um-" He coughed awkwardly, rubbing his forehead. Silently debating whether he should mention any of his recent thoughts to Spider. "Um... how you been holding up?"

"...what do you mean?"

"With, ya know, being human and having to live- well, here." Lo'ak traced his disgusting hands across the traces of wood. He tensed up when seeing a small line of veins. Demon blood, was what it was called. He swallowed a lump. "Actually, i have a chore to do. Chat to me later, 'kay?"

Spider sighed. "Yeah..."

This is an abandoned fic, im sorry :(

When I wrote this, I was hyperfixating on it. But writer's block happened while I was writing chapter 2. And then I completely forgot to upload it. Which explains why I've been dead for AGES. And to my Alex rider readers who read my deleted fics, WE DONT TALK OF THEM. I wrote the first 20 chapters when I was 11. And rereading them, I realised how BADLY written it was. I ended up deleting the whole of it. I'll write more Alex Rider when I can. But for any Avatar fans, I've lost my hyperfixation. So just pray it comes back.

I'm not in any position to write. I gotta study for my GCSEs, so dont expect any fics soon.