I do not own Chuck

Chapter 3

Sarah sat at the table trying to control her emotions. She reckoned Casey had the better situation, sat in the viewing room. He wouldn't need to control his face.

Chuck's mom was Frost. The Frost. The CIA agent that was held up as a mixture of an example and a threat to other CIA agents. Get a little better and you might be half as good as Frost. That's what some of the instructors had said at the Farm. Even though, towards the end of her time, she'd beaten some of Frost's records. Since then she'd beaten some of her operational records as well.

Get out of line and they'll send Frost to kill you. That was another rumour/threat that went around the Farm, and in the field as well. But, given what she'd heard, that had been a moot point because Frost had been in Russia for the past twenty years. With Alexei Volkov.

Mary's explanation of how Hartley Winterbottom had become the first Intersect was both concerning and scary. Her revelation that Chuck's father was Orion, the creator of the Intersect was not too much of a shock because Chuck had already been told that by the IC directors way back in 2013 when they'd ambushed the three of them. But her contention that she'd gone underground on a mission sanctioned by the CIA but that Graham had proclaimed her a rogue agent was sickening.

Sarah knew that Graham hadn't been the nicest of people. She'd had her own experiences with the man, but she hadn't in her wildest dreams thought he would burn an undercover agent because of a vendetta with her husband. That, in itself, meant that the CIA would have to go back and re-examine all of Graham's past mission involvement. Were there others out there that had been burned because of a vendetta with Graham? Were there others that may have been killed because of it? She very much hoped not because, if there had been unsanctioned killings, then she may very well have been responsible for them.

Mary had described how, after working on the Intersect removal glasses for Chuck, Stephen had brought them to Russia to use on Hartley/Alexei. They'd had to carefully position Volkov and then they'd had to work with Winterbottom to dismantle Volkov's network in an orderly manner because, by then, it was huge and the potential for damage of just removing Volkov had been substantial. They'd carefully set elements of the network against one another, provided evidence for the arrest of corrupt officials and quietly folded up other parts. That had taken several years.

Then they and Winterbottom had simply left. But not just like that. Mary had described the CIA's relentless pursuit of them and how it had alerted the FSB and the GRU to their presence in Russia. They'd had to fake their deaths before they had come to live in the UK. Winterbottom owned an estate here and had provided them an isolated home and they'd simply set up shop and taken up gardening. Stephen kept an eye on their children remotely, and they had cameras monitoring their own security, but apart from that they were just normal retired people.

When Mary had wound down, Sarah had provided a glass of water and then Chuck had dropped his first bombshell.

"Did you condone Dad getting me thrown out of Stanford?" he'd asked and Sarah had reared back, shocked, as had Mary been.

"What?!" Mary had exclaimed.

"Did you condone Dad conspiring with Bryce Larkin to get me thrown out of Stanford?" Chuck enunciated clearly, giving her a hard stare.

Sarah kept quiet with an effort. Chuck had never told her this.

"I didn't know about it til after the event," Mary finally said. She's lying, Sarah thought.

Chuck looked at his mother intently. She squeezed his hand as though asking for permission and he squeezed back. Permission granted.

"You're lying, Mary," Sarah said and Chuck looked at her sharply.

The woman in front of her took a deep breath and grimaced, finally making eye contact with Sarah. "You're right," she admitted, turning to Chuck. "I'm sorry, Chuck," she added, taking another deep breath. "Neither of us wanted you anywhere near the CIA given what they'd done to us," she explained. "I supported Stephen finding a way to keep you away from the CIA but the method was all his own. When he realised what an effect it had had on you he was distraught, though," she added in a small voice.

"So you're saying that my own father helped to destroy my life?" Chuck asked angrily. "Just took five years of work and tore it up? Conspired with someone who I thought was my best friend? And didn't even tell me?"

"Yes," admitted Mary in a small voice. "Your father tends to see the big picture but doesn't necessarily appreciate all the small elements that form that big picture. It's one of his biggest faults. But," she added. "To be fair to your father, there weren't many options. The only way to get you out of the forced recruitment was for you not to graduate."

"Here's an idea," Chuck exclaimed with a degree of sarcasm that Sarah had rarely heard in his voice before. "Perhaps he could have told me – his own son. Rather than conspiring with someone else!" she squeezed Chuck's hand as he tried to get his breathing under control. "I could have taken a leave of absence of something. Don't you think it was a bit draconian?"

Mary grimaced. "You're right of course," she said. "He realises that now, but he didn't see it at the time. He didn't see how much of your self-worth was tied up in your degree. Neither of us did."

"Self-worth?" Chuck exclaimed angrily. "Ellie worked three jobs to pay for tutoring for me to go to Stanford. I had two jobs at sixteen! You left us with practically nothing. Ellie sweated blood to bring me up and get her own degree. How could you not understand that? How could you not understand that I needed that degree? It was my ticket out of the gutter! Away from a life of dependency!"

Sarah had never heard Chuck talk like this before, or sound like this, and she threw caution to the wind and went with instinct, turning towards him and pulling him into a hug, just as he broke down and cried into her shoulder, pulling her against him. She pulled him close and tried to comfort him, and slowly he calmed down.

"I'm sorry." She looked at Mary in surprise to also see the woman in tears. "I didn't know til later that Stephen had left you like that. He slept on the sofa for weeks when I found out. It's part of this big picture fixation of his. He just doesn't get the details."

"From what Chuck and Ellie told me, he basically checked out after you left, Mary," Sarah volunteered. "He was barely paying any attention to the kids and Ellie ended up taking all the responsibility."

"I didn't know that," Mary said, looking even more upset. "It's true, I did most of the stuff round the house to make it work," she added. She gave a broken smile. "I loved my real life when I had it. It was so "real" after being a spy for so long. When you get a chance to have a real life Sarah, you must leave the CIA behind. Don't do anything where you may get pulled back in. I miss that time so much." She blinked away tears. "This one was such a sweet kid. It broke my heart to leave him and his sister."

Chuck had managed to get his emotions under control and now was half-facing his mother. "Was there no other way?" he asked huskily.

Mary took a deep breath. "I'm sorry Charles," she said. "We couldn't find one. Hartley would only react to me, not Stephen. And Alexei Volkov was extremely dangerous. I was the only one that could keep that jack in the box. The DCI at the time, Jeff Whiting, practically ordered me to go." She gave a deep sigh. "I considered resigning but I can't overestimate how dangerous and unstable Volkov was. In the end I went to protect you as much as anything else. Volkov wouldn't have batted an eyelid about going up against the US government, or indeed any government. So I gave up my and my family's happiness for the greater good." She grimaced. "But I thought I was leaving you with your father. Then Graham started to come after him and he had to go underground as well."

"What did Graham have against Chuck's father?" Sarah asked.

"He wanted Omaha," Mary answered softly. "He wanted the Intersect." She took a deep breath. "After what happened with Hartley, Stephen pulled away from the Intersect project but Graham just would not let it go. He tried to go it alone with the scientists that were already attached for a few years but that didn't work so well, so then he started trying to coerce Stephen to go back to it. Stephen, of course, refused. He didn't want anything to do with the project and he only got back involved when you got pulled back into it again, Chuck." Mary paused, eyes looking into nothing and Sarah shivered slightly. Graham with the Intersect and no oversight from General Beckman was quite a scary thought. Especially so early in his career.

"Stephen went underground to get away from Graham. That day when he went out for ingredients?" Mary looked at Chuck, raising her eyebrows, and Chuck nodded slightly.

"There was a CIA capture squad outside the grocery store. Stephen knew then that he needed to run. He had a go bag in the car and he just left. He thought he was doing the right thing for you. When he told me, I was so pissed Chuck! I nearly broke cover and came back for you. But it just would have been too dangerous for you. I couldn't take the chance that either Volkov would have me tracked or Graham would find me. I'm sorry Chuck."

Sarah reached out again for Chuck's hand and he looked over at her and gave her a sad smile.

"So why have you come back now, Mom?" he asked hoarsely. "You could have made contact at any time over the past few years since Graham's been dead."

Mary wiped her eyes and Sarah was pretty convinced they were real tears as well. The woman's eyes were sad, her nose snuffly and her voice hoarse. "I wanted to," she said quietly. "God I wanted to." She took a deep breath. "But you were both happy. Ellie's got her family and she's doing well professionally. And you've got yours." She gestured to Sarah and then at the camera and Sarah realised she meant John. "We wouldn't have been able to really come back. As far as the CIA was concerned we're still both rogue. Volkov's gone, but elements of his organisation still exist and they don't like us. The Russians are looking for us, as you saw. It would have brought you into danger and I didn't want that."

"But now?" Chuck asked again, slightly plaintively, and Sarah was impressed by his mettle in continuing to ask the important questions. Many people dismissed Chuck as a lightweight, but he was anything but in Sarah's view. He was much more emotionally tough now than he had been before.

"Your father was taken by the Russians," Mary said simply.

"By the FSB?" Sarah asked sharply.

The other woman shook her head. "No, I don't think so," she replied. "But it's a faction within the FSB. It's a bastardised version of Fulcrum and Volkov's organisation and some power players within Russian politics."

"But it wasn't an official operation?" she probed.

"No, I don't believe so," Mary replied, thoughtfully.

"But the operation in London was official?" Sarah challenged.

"I kind of got a little careless when I was trying to locate you and Chuck," Mary admitted. "I think that was how they found me."

"Why did they come for you then?" Chuck asked. "And how did they find you?"

Mary grimaced again. "I don't know how they found us," she replied. "But your father was working on something. Tracking the flow of funds from the Middle East to Russia. Sometimes over the years he'd find things and send anonymous tips to the IC. I guess he must have got careless."

"So not really retired then?" Sarah probed.

Mary's expression turned stormy. "I was, but Chuck's father – he just can't resist meddling," she snarked. "I enjoy gardening and I do voluntary work at a nearby stately home, but Stephen – he just can't stay away from his computer!"

She raised her eyebrows at her husband. "Hopefully that won't be a problem for his son when we retire."

"I'm sure it won't Sarah," Mary interjected as Chuck looked defensive. "Stephen's got a degree of AD/HD. Chuck's never been like that. Besides," and she gave a broad grin. "You've got him so under your spell I doubt he'll stray!"

"She's right about that," Chuck observed unexpectedly and Sarah looked at her husband in shock. "Besides, we agreed that when it's time we'll both step back." They had at that, and Sarah squeezed Chuck's hand to emphasise that that was still the aim from her point of view too.

A knock came on the door and Sarah guessed it was Casey.

"OK, thank you Mary," she said. "I think we've got enough for now. We'll kick it upstairs and we'll come back to you when we have an answer. I assume you'll stay here?" She raised her eyebrows at the older woman. She was sure that if Frost wanted to break out she could do so, but that would substantially weaken her case with their bosses.

"I will," Mary replied.

It was late at night before they'd finished their discussions with General Beckman, Director Martinez of the CIA and Admiral Wilcox of the NSA. Given the revelations about both Graham and the Intersect, Sarah hadn't been surprised that the other two agency heads had been brought in.

The General had ordered Director Martinez to do a detailed search for any trace of Mary Bartowski's previous orders and Graham's possible involvement in getting them hidden. She had also informed them that she was sending someone to London to interview Mary Bartowski. Both Sarah and Chuck had a sneaking suspicion they knew who that might be but they'd decided to hold off speculating for now. They were both too tired and emotionally whipsawed to speculate too far anyway.

A BOLO had been sent out on Stephen to all airports and ports in the UK and nearby countries and the NSA had been directed to also keep an eye out electronically. But, apart from that, the General had opted to hold fire for now.

Casey had ordered them both home after promising that he, Cole and Juliette would keep an eye on his mom overnight. Chuck was grateful to his friends because he wasn't quite sure where he stood.

On the one hand he was pleased that his mom was alive, on the other he was supremely pissed that his parents had left and even more so but that his Dad seemingly couldn't let them get on with their lives, continuing to manipulate them from afar. Perhaps he was blaming the wrong person. It seemed to be clear from what his mom said that, while she'd made the decision to leave, she'd thought that she was leaving his father to take care of the family, and she'd only known after the fact on the rest of his father's manipulations.

"What are you thinking?" Sarah asked quietly. He was conscious that he'd stopped cleaning his teeth and had been staring into the mirror for the last several moments. It had been a mostly-silent cab ride back from their headquarters, and when they arrived Sarah had bade him get ready for bed. She'd matched actions to words he saw and was now clad in only panties and one of his T-shirts, her normal sleeping attire.

"God, I don't know," he replied, giving up brushing his teeth as a bad job. "Should I be happy?" he asked plaintively. "That they're alive? Or should I be pissed?"

"Come here," she said, wrapping him up in a tight hug. "I cannot imagine what you're going through, but please know that I'm here for you."

He hugged her tighter. Sarah Bartowski was much more loquacious than Sarah Walker had been but still didn't talk about her feelings as much as him. Every time she did was a gift and, when it was directed at supporting him, a double gift.

"I love you," he told his wife, burying his face in her hair and enjoying her scent.

She squeezed him tight, channelling Ellie for a few seconds. "You are the love of my life Charles Bartowski," she told him, melting him ever so slightly. "And we'll get through this together."

"I know we will," he whispered. "Because with you at my side, I can do anything."

"Come to bed honey," she said after a few moments, and he did, stripping out of his pants and leaving him in just his T-shirt and boxers.

They pulled each other together under the covers and she hugged him again, reaching up to caress the side of his head. "Are you angry with her?" she prompted.

He smiled, grateful for her prompting. "I was, but if I put myself in her shoes then she kind of did the best she could under the circumstances," he said, looking into her eyes. She gestured for him to go on. "It's more my dad I'm pissed with. He was left in charge and basically checked out and then, once he'd left, didn't even try to get a message to us. And then he conspired with Bryce to get me thrown out of Stanford."

She gave a growl. "I agree. I think your mom's done her best with a bad hand. But your father sounds a little strange."

"Strange is a reasonable description," Chuck replied. "When we were young he was always working, either at home or somewhere else. After mom left it just got worse. He'd often forget meals – for him and us."

"It sounds like Ellie was basically in charge even before he left," Sarah observed.

"Yeah, basically," he agreed. "Do you think the Brass will let us help them or will we have to do it on our own?" he added.

"Given the risks of your father's knowledge of the Intersect – even though that doesn't seem to be why the Russians want him – I think we'll be asked to go and get him back," she replied. "The General may ask us to leave the mission off the books though."

"What would that mean?" Chuck asked. "In practical terms?"

"It means no official help from the US government," Sarah replied. "No logistical help and certainly no help on the ground if anything goes wrong."

"So we'd be hung out to dry?" Chuck asked in surprise.

"Welcome to my world," Sarah said softly. "That's how I've operated my whole career, Chuck. If I was ever captured by a national power operating in their country, our government would have disavowed all knowledge of me. I was a ghost."

"Thank God you never got captured," Chuck breathed.

"But I did," Sarah said. "Twice by a national power."

"What happened?" he asked worriedly.

"Once it was by the Spanish," she replied. "And I was well-treated and able to escape, but one time it was in Kazakhstan and they tortured me." He reached out to her, seeing her distant eyes. "It was bad," she admitted.

"W- what happened?" he asked, pulling her against him. She hugged him tightly.

"They tortured me for days," she said in a small voice. "I hurt so much. I can't describe how much I hurt. But I stuck to my story and eventually they decided to transfer me to a civilian prison. I escaped in transit and managed to call for an extraction. It took me months to get over it."

"Oh my God, Sarah," he exclaimed, stroking her head in the way that she liked. Every time she told him a story like that, he wanted to wrap her up in cotton wool. But he knew his wife was tough. One of the toughest people he'd ever met, male or female. "I'm sorry," he said.

"It's in the past," she said, voice strengthening. "It was before I knew you." She dropped a reassuring kiss on his nose. "But if they want us to go off the books, I only told you because you need to understand that there's a risk," she explained.

"OK," he agreed. "We'll try and avoid that if we can. If we can't, at least there'll be two of us."

She looked at him incredulously. "You don't actually believe that do you?" she asked.

"What?" he asked back, not understanding.

"That there'll only be two of us?" she explained.

"Well, he's my dad," Chuck replied. "Who else is gonna want to come?"

"At a minimum there'll be three of us," Sarah explained slowly. "Probably five, maybe more."

"Five?" Chuck exclaimed in surprise.

"You're such a doufus!" Sarah said. "Don't ever change. Us," she said, gesturing to the two of them, before adding. "Casey for certain, and probably Cole and Juliette."

"But they'll be going against their governments?" Chuck exclaimed.

"What their governments don't know can't hurt them," Sarah said with a small smile. "It's a key facet of spy work. In other words – it's easier to ask forgiveness than permission!"

"You really think they'd do that?" Chuck asked, still stunned.

"Yes," Sarah replied simply. "For you? Yes."

"But why?" Chuck wasn't getting this. Why would two foreign agents risk their lives, their careers for him?

"Because of you Chuck, my clueless husband!" Sarah replied. "Because of you."

"Me?" Was he being dense?

"Because you're our friend Chuck," Sarah said in a small voice. "As spies, we've never really had friends before. People we work with? Sure. Acquaintances. But friends? People who'd be there for us if we needed it? Who'd do the right thing whatever the cost? No. Not until we met you."

"You're being nuts Sarah!" he exclaimed. "I'm not like that. You make me out to be some kind of saint."

"You are Chuck," Sarah replied, shocking him. Reaching out to cup his cheek in her hand. Her beautiful eyes staring into his with such a wealth of feeling that he was stunned. "You saved me, and now you're saving them. Casey, certainly; Cole, certainly. And with Juliette, she's just so happy to have found John again. And you enabled that. She's not as close to you as the three of us are, but she'll go where John goes. We'll be five. And we'll have to fight off some of the others. You'll see."

He stared at her as though she was mad. Could people really feel like that about him? He was just Chuck Bartowski, wasn't he? PJ and occasional spy, ex-Intersect, loving husband and friend. He was no great shakes. Not compared to the amazing woman lying next to him in the bed. The CIA's most-decorated peacetime agent, who had saved the country more times than he could probably count.

She leaned forward and dropped a peck on his lips. "Less thinking, husband of mine," she said, drawing back. "I can see you need tiring out, so you better lose those boxers!" Then she kissed him, she kissed his lips, his cheek, his neck, his chest, moving lower and lower until she got to her destination. And then she took him into her and all thoughts about parents and spies and governments went out of his head.

A/N I think we'll leave it there! Please drop me a review and tell me what you thought. Thanks for all the reviews so far; very grateful for the response.