Summary: In which Nat goes down memory lane, Jamie beats up his thoughts and other interesting things are developing.

Chapter 13

James "Bucky"Buchanan Barnes, former Sergeant of the Howling Commandos and best friend of Steve Rogers aka Captain America woke up sending the white cat, who he swore looked like his old cat Alpine, who had been sleeping on the bed, flying towards the ground with a pissed off howl of protest who then jumped upon the other bed to sleep, curling around the black cat and closing his eyes.

Jamie sat up gasping as his last moments of his life faded from his mind as he noted that he was still dressed but his shoes, but surprisingly clean after he eased his tired but strangely energize body off the bed in search of the bathroom. Nat was out cold in the other bed with the black cat, that couldn't be Liho could it?, sleeping on Nat's stomach, in the excessively warm room, which considering he started out shivering made sense.

Speaking their names, Liho twitched in her sleep and Alpine opened his eyes and made a slow blink at Jamie, purring softly to his companion and Nat.

Jamie gently patted Alpine, who headbutted him in response which made Jamie smile saying, "Jarvis."

Jarvis's calm British voice answered his unspoken question as he stripped off everything walking to the bathroom to do his morning ablutions, eyeing the slight changes to his body more muscle mass, a body more inline of his old one, in the large mirror over the bathroom counter, knowing that all the pain and hurt his old body went through, this body was not subject to those traumas, despite the boast of wiry muscle and toning, a thin silver band where his artificial arm would have started and changed into the clean clothes that had been set out for him.

"It is November 9th, 1981, a Wednesday. It's been three days, 12 hours and six minutes and 20 seconds. It's late afternoon nearing 4:21. Sirs Starks are being cowered into eating by Pepper," which Jamie snickered at, he had been at the mercy of Pepper a few times. Jarvis kept his tone light as he updated Mr. Jamie on the weather, politics and other trivial data of the 1980's. Jarvis was please to see the racing heart had slow down from the panic that Mr. Jamie first had when he 'woken up.'

Jarvis continued to update him as Jamie walked with a quick pace to the informal dinning area of the compound as Jarvis helpfully gave directions. He noted that he didn't need James Potter's glasses or even contacts now which he was thankful for. Clearly the magic that wove his soul and memories into this body determined that his new body's eyes could do with a 'magical eye correction' surgery. His eyes still ached and Jamie found himself rubbing them from time to time as he walked.

He only had one kitchen knife on him and Jamie was feeling under-dressed. He needed new gear. Fast. He just hoped that Stark had his new identity all sorted away. For him and Nat.

But first Jamie had to determine something important before he could go supply shopping. He slowed as a different thought came to him, one that made him pause in seeking out company, he wasn't ready to face anyone right now. But Jamie needed to do something so he back petaled and ducked into the gym instead, instructing Jarvis on a few things. Thankfully there were workout clothes that would fit him there.

After carefully stretching, noting where his body was up to his usual standards and where it needed work, Jamie went into training mode as his mind was still processing his magical coma, flashed back to things that were almost buried or at least deliberate forgotten about after during his time as the Winter Soldier that he had never really addressed during his years of deprogramming in Wakanda.

There was a reason why he wasn't ready for dating when he got back from being dead for five years. There was a reason why he didn't seek out female companionship, that awkward date aside before he first teamed up with Sam. The light flirting with Sarah Wilson was a test on taking his body back for himself. At first it gave Jamie roguish pleasure annoying the heck out of Sam. It also boosted his self esteem on his charm, meaning that he still had it. Then a few years down the road it turned into something more.

Jamie's thoughts turned from his wife to why he was beating the crap out of a punching bag. His therapist and Sam thought he had only two lists, he had three. Because there was no one to apologize to anymore. Until now. Even if they all were victims in the end, Jamie still wanted to cross off those names on his last list. He never thought he had a chance to with Nat and now,

Jamie attack the punching bag hard enough to break it open, trying to get the recently surfaced memory of Natalia and a few other hand picked Black Widows by their handlers, he under orders, 'sexually serviced' under the disguise of 'seduction training' in addition of the few weeks he gave them combat training the few times he was out of cryostasis throughout the wasn't a stud to be gifted towards anyone.

He punched another one hard enough that got his now silver arm stuck, at the cleverly tricked abuse that Madame B and all her superiors did to the girls. It exploded as Jamie yanked his arm out. The sweat was streaming down his face or was it tears that had slipped out while he worked out?

At this point, he was breathing heavily, clearly his body needed more exercise even if his 'new' body had the muscles he was use to from his old body. He striped off his shirt and wiped his face down with the clean edges, noting his knuckles were starting to bruise and bleed. His hands were clearly not used to physical force, he didn't have his usual calluses.

Jamie breathed through the calming exercises that Shuri had suggested to him, it mirror some the breathing exercises that his former trainers from his army days instructed him on. He kept breathing as he worked his body slowly in the different combat forms he knew, all the feelings that he had thought he had gotten peace with, the old scarring seemed to be ripped open anew. Or it could be that his younger body didn't know how to process a life's worth of experiences, being on ice for some of it aside.

Small faces of the young girls he trained and some of the older ones he bedded flashed through his mind. Jamie wanted to go to the red room and tear it down brick by brick. Most of them were dead by the time he got his mind back and the one he tracked down after he was unsnapped, she was the one to apologize to him for all that what she had done to him and what she did with the information she gleamed from his mind.

Nat being the one to rally the others to destroy the red room was a small comfort. At least Nat took that bastard down like the badass she was. As for her, at first there wasn't time and then Nat was gone before he could apologize. He did have fun with Yelena but even with her being a Widow, it wasn't the same if it had been Nat he was fighting beside.

Natalia was the only one that received other 'advanced training in all areas' from the Winter Soldier because she was the best. Even the other Black Widows weren't as much as a born killer then she was. In bed or otherwise. He shuttered at the memory either from disgust or pleasure he didn't know.

After he drank from the water that was nearby, Jamie stood panting but reached for a paint gun and few rubber knives, ignoring the slight shaking his hands were doing, he fought with worse before. "Jarvis load up whatever you got." His rage was still hot enough that he had to work a little more to be calm enough to be in any sort of company.

The first thing Jamie did was shot blue paint at the cameras that were watching. He'll train until he either puked or passed out. He didn't deserve another chance with Natalia, even if she subconsciously thought he did.

He ignored the thought of himself being a good man.

***

Tony was eyeing the last piece of the all the works pizza, as much as he loved it, Sirius Black's insistence to have different kinds of pizza for the past few days for every meal was rubbing him wrong. He was just about to suggest something else, like cheeseburgers when Jarvis announced that James Barnes was up and requested not to be disturbed unless request.

Sirius glared at Howard who had just taken a bit of the last piece of pizza much to his annoyance as he had reached for it. "Why doesn't Jamie want company?"

Yelena who had already eaten and was playing with Harry and Dudley on the floor looked up at that. "Because he just came out of his memories and if as he said was a violent death he needs time to process it."

She didn't mention all the mental/emotional/physical that rose up from the memories. She had a small knife on her for a long time after she first woke up as a six-year-old in a new world. It didn't matter that her new body didn't or couldn't know the abuse that her 'superiors' put her though creating a Black Widow. Thankfully for her parents her body didn't have the reflexes to do what it had been 'trained' to do else she'll be a murder at age six and half. She had years to come to terms with it, the Winter Soldier only had a few days. If he was anything like her, he'll be hitting the gym hard.

Everyone was quiet as they finished their dinner, the boys were sent to play in the nursery after they had baths with Nod who clearly had fun with the two boys and the house elves brought out after dinner tea or coffee to the horror of the native English sitting around the kitchen table which had surprisingly comfortable chairs.

"You mean beat the crap out of something." Tony commented as G.K. poured him a second cup of coffee, arms up in a stretch as he leaned back into his chair. He still didn't like Barnes at all but between his dad's stories about him, Pepper's relationship with him after he died, he'll tolerate the man's presence.

Thing 2 as he dubbed Yelena in his mind flashed a sad but knowing grin at him. Sadly Thing 1 was still out from the world. He wasn't stupid enough to voice it aloud, not until Nat was around.

"When I got out of that mind meld," Howard ignored the snickering of his only precious son, glad that the room lifted out of its slight gloom, "I built so many things that I almost blew myself up. Granted I almost did that when I learned of the four, no wait five unforgivables."

Before Sirius could point out his error, Jamie came into the kitchen with a bang, hair wet from a quick shower. He seemed exhausted, but his eyes were intense as he locked onto the Starks, walking as soundless as a stalking cat towards its prey.

Petunia found herself eyeing her late brother in law or in reality Jamie Barnes, he seemed quite different, his eyes had a more of a blue hue then hazel, looking good in his blue jeans, black t-shirt and combat boots with a serious look in his eyes which made Tony worried as his father paled and started to choke.

"Stark I need you to say the words, if I'm here, all here, then the words are here too. I need to make sure that the deprogramming still works. Please." There was a slight pleading tone to Jamie's voice. He felt relaxed enough after his intense workout that he had to stop after a twenty minutes because his body wasn't as use to his routine as he had hoped.

Howard thankfully didn't choke to death, oh the irony, but as he coughed from his coffee going down the wrong tube, he glared as best as he could at his one time science buddy or at least the guy who liked explosions as much as him with watery eyes and coughed out a "No."

Jamie leaned on the table, unknowing transforming his left arm into his Wakanda arm, his face a cold mask with an unknown look in his eyes. But before he could speak, a voice behind him started to talk in multiple languages.

"Longing, rusted, furnace, daybreak, seventeen, benign, nine, homecoming, one, freight car." Yelena's voice was cold and in command. "Good evening soldier. Are you ready to comply?" It was a direct order, not a request. Even the wizards could pick that up.

Remus started shaking from fear or something else, as Jamie, not James, not James's scent started to change from the sharpen knife but in a sheath to something else as his wolf senses screamed at him to get out now as James started to stiffen and then relax completely as if he was put under the unforgivable, Imperius.

Instead Remus knew he had a split second and he took it in vain. Jamie sensed he was coming and in a quick move threw him down as gently as he could, as he answered Yelena in a sarcastic tone. "No I am not ready to comply. Again."

In answered as Remus lay gasping on the ground stunned by what happened, Yelena started to walk backwards in a quick pace towards the gym, most importantly the sparring mats. Jamie stood and followed, ignoring Lily's call of concern. Yelena felt the relief but her body still tensed as in apprehension of an attack even if Jamie seemed to be stumbling towards her. Even a tired, exhausted Winter Soldier was dangerous.

Howard pushed back his cup, appetite gone as Yelena's repeat of the command faded down the hallway. Pepper sighed and motioned to the remaining house elves to clean up as the stilled humans started to finally move out of their shock, it happened in less then three seconds.

Sirius was the first to react. "What in Merlin's name was that?! Remus are you ok?"

Remus wasn't a violent person by nature, but as the full moon came closer so did his wolf's instincts. Sirius knew that Remus could respond faster then most humans because of that fact. Remus sat up and was in his chair before Sirius could push back his seat, rubbing his neck. He didn't even have time to go for his wand, Jamie was that fast.

"I just got my ass handed to me in the gentlest of ways. Jamie could have snapped my neck." Remus was startled by the glass of fire whiskey that was pushed into his hand by Tony who decided this conversation was best done drunk if his instructions to K.G. were any indication.

Alcoholic ban was lifted for a bit. Tony was the only who lifted it for occasions like these which was far and few. Pepper didn't sigh but just poured herself a healthy amount and closed her eyes. It was abandoned a few seconds later as she was summoned to the office by her new secretary, Andy Tonks who was fast becoming a favorite of hers. Pepper was pleased with the company it wasn't as rich as it had been during the 1980's during Stark's first life, but it was fast becoming to the same amount but a little slower. It probably helped that the two Starks weren't drunk off their asses all the time.

"He was as fast as me during the full moon." Remus paled at what he revealed but as he looked around the table, it seemed no one cared or ignored that fact until later. But for one person.

At that, Tony smirked and held out his hand, his father slapped a healthy amount of money into it with a soured look. Both Starks slightly glad to have a little humor to defuse the tense situation. "I told you he reminded me of Bruce! Instead of a big, green mean problem he has a furry one." Tony thought something was up with the quiet man, he commented quietly to Pepper that he seemed like Bruce in his behavior at times.

"I don't care who or what Bruce is, what was that?!" Lily was horrified at the thought of someone who was under the Imperius near her baby. Petunia looked like she was going to strip the paint off of someone. The others didn't look any better. Petunia was just glad that her son and Harry had no idea what was happening as they were not in the room.

"That is a long story, one best told with tons of alcohol, but Pepper put her foot down with only one bottle." Howard said as he reached across the table in vain to get Pepper's untouched drink. He smiled as Sirius sent it toward him with his wand.

"Why was he acting like he was under the Imperius curse?" James asked, during the time that Jamie and Nat were out, he and Lily had discovered that they had free range of the compound and the surrounding area, something to do with how magic worked with the muggle technology, he zoned out when Tony started to go in depth. Lily and her sister were fascinate by it all.

"Because he was." Yelena said coming up and snatching Pepper's glass and downing it in one go before Howard could take it as she did with Tony's. "That's the Russian non-magical version of it, that is until the mind control serum was invented. Thankfully the Wakanda's deprogramming still works. That is after a few more tries until Jamie just rolled his eyes at it. I am not looking forward to explaining the magical versions of it."

"He'll want to go under it wouldn't he?" Remus asked, getting a nod from Yelena who grabbed the bottle, passed out the rest of the liquor and slammed it down so hard it cracked.

She didn't mention that Jamie was passed out cold on the bed opposite of her sister after she dragged him there, cussing freely in all the languages she knew. He passed out after worked out his frustrations and relief again, with punching bags, sharp shooting and shadow fighting. He was free, which filled him with cold relief but he sensed Yelena wasn't telling him everything once the code words completely were meaningless, so to get himself back into balance he trained ignoring his body's protests. As he slipped on his own sweat from exhaustion, he was filled with heavy regret, guilt and sorrow blacking out before he hit the mat.

She did wake him up briefly for a quick shower, his reflexes were sluggish enough that she was safe. Nat was still unchanged and Yelena hoped that she'll wake up soon. She needed her big sister. Yelena didn't miss the unguarded look of yearning desire that he shot Nat but he was out before she could ask.

***

As Tony and Howard explain more in depth of why Jamie asked for what he did to the shocked muggle and wizards, Natasha was discovering secrets of her past that would plant doubts in her mind.

Nat blinked back the darkness as she walked towards the light clanking sound she heard as if metal was banging against wood as the last memory faded into a different room. Her blood ran cold as she and her, now-a-few-years-older, mother reached the crib at the same time. Her heart clenched in pain as she viewed her three-year-old self (she was really four, but still small for her age which is why her father thought she was younger then she was) who was curled up in a ball under the warm colorful quilt. But for her left arm which was shackled to the crib's side with a small handcuff.

She took in the warm but also cold room, where she felt a mixture of unconditional love and cold calculating feelings. Nat's hand ghosted through a small pair of red ballet slippers that sat next to a make shift barre in front of a small mirror. A balance beam was on the far side of the long but slightly narrow wooden flooring. A series of picture books and school workbooks were scattered around the small schooling area. She peeked out the window to see a beautiful backyard but half of it was a small obstacle course just the size for toddlers.

A unlocked part of her mind sent surprisingly strict but mostly happy memories of her learning to read, write and speak Russian, English and a few other languages. She had taken to ballet like she was born to dance and she loved doing the obstacle course and Nat frowned as little four-year-old Natalia who still looked like she was three tumbled off the balance beam and scrapping her knee.

Ivan wiped away her tears and bandage her small knee, but made her get back up on the balance beam as she was a strong girl, tears were useless in life and he knew she could do better.

The reality of Ivan, her father training her for the red room, before she was even sent, sent a cold shiver down Nat's spine, even as little Natalia beamed up at her father as she completed her routine and earned a kiss on her forehead.

The memory faded as Ivan spoke in a whisper as her mother tried to undo the lock on her small handcuff make Nat turn in a crouch, a knife in her hand, as if she could stop what was going to happen next.

"Félicie, you were named after your grandmother the famed ballerina, Félicie who married into the minor branch of the mighty Romanova family." Ivan said a mixture of lust, longing and possessive love in his voice as he reached her mother Félicie and gently spun her around so she was flush against his chest, able to breathe but not speak. He held her as she struggled to get back to the sleeping Natalia as he manoeuvre her down the hall towards his bedroom and lightly tossed her on his bed as he turned the lock on his door, eyeing the gun she held to his face with amusement.

"You'll add rape to the list of your crimes now, Ivan? On top of kidnapping? I waited for you for days and then you came but alone. You seduced me to your bed again with empty promises of seeing our baby again. Pictures don't count. You told me she was safe and," Félicie's heartbroken voice stopped as she found herself responding to her lover's kiss, not having time to even shot. So she gave as good as she got. Let him thing he was using her, she'll use him. In honestly, she gave of herself freely as she still loved this man, and she sensed that if she could send him into a deep sleep then she'll find the key to her baby's chains and run.

Afterwards as their bodies heartbeats slowing as one, Félicie let her lover's voice wash over her as she fought against sleep. He must of drugged the wine he brought out. "I would never rape a woman. Seduce yes, rape? No. I paused and asked your consent after that first kiss when we first meet, which I did admit to not asking permission and you were the one to keep going. As you have done now. You could have shot me, but you did in a different way." The gun was on the floor forgotten over the multiple rounds of love making much to Nat's grimace as thankfully the memory warped to the end.

Ivan ran a hand up over his mistress's chest as he continued to talk, "My name isn't even Ivan, well it is, but it's my middle name. My first name was Ulian which I gave to Natalia for her middle name, Alianovna. I kept her last name from you instead of mine to let people think she's not related. I was sent to woo and bed, if necessary multiple times the prime ballerina of our great country as I was selected for a great honor, but instead I found myself captivated by her understudy, you. In time I did my duty, but I fall in love with you and I briefly considered taking you and our baby from this county, but as much as I loved fucking you and enjoyed your company, my cause, our cause comes first. I am completely wedded to my country, you were just my gift."

Thankfully the woman was sound asleep during most of that one sided conversation. Ivan looked down at his naked lover, mistress, the woman who almost made him live and thought briefly of waking her and taking her again, but instead he quickly and almost painfully dislocated a few bones in her left foot under the pretence of massaging them which he did as he 'massage' all of her body earlier.

The memory then jumped to another cold but warm room, in which Ivan hummed a little tune as he handed over a sleep four-year-old, in reality five-year-old Natalia to Madame B, but not the Madame B that Nat knew. This one seemed colder somehow but just as deadly. An older version of the Madame B that she had trained under. A relative perhaps?

She was settled on a twin bed in a long dormitory with other girls as Ivan kissed her forehead in goodbye whispering something that even now Nat couldn't make out. He briefly ran his hand over a young girl's dirty blonde hair in a far bed when he walked away.

Nat's heart twisted as she could tell her father really did love her but the love of his county and his cause came first, just like Alexei's did but she knew unlike Alexei, Ivan would never make up for it. She blinked back tears as time flowed forward. She cried at the thought of her mother never seeing her again and never dancing again.

***

Sirius Black felt nauseous either from the liquor and he could hold his alcohol, or what Jamie had to go through before he landed here. "Here I thought the Death Eaters were sick. Why are you telling us all of this?"

Lily looked like she wanted to drink as Petunia after a few sentences in, left to check in on the children, not noticing how Remus eyed her walking away, as he admired the haircut Yelena talked her into. It was a vintage-looking classic side bangs haircut for medium length hair, she had dyed her hair back to her original color and it looked good. The awed look in her little sister's eyes made it worth it.

Petunia had demanded Yelena to train her or at least get her started on the basics which Yelena agreed to once she asked to style Petunia's hair as Nat had shorthanded told her briefly about Petunia the short time they were together, which was when they were in the shooting range.

Petunia came back with her precious boy and Harry who ran to Sirius who lifted him on his lap. "How do you counter act this?" She waved her hand vaguely but they knew what she meant.

Petunia had to laugh at Tony's reply. "The Force can have a powerful effect on the weak-minded, so you'll have to have a strong will, with thankfully we all have in spades."

"So it doesn't happen again and as I had said, we don't need secrets between any of us." Tony said thinking of how the Accords ended because of unneeded secrets.

James Potter was staring into the distance as he thought over all that he learned, while Sirius Black studied his brother well new brother who seemed to keep his emotions and his magic tightly under control as he and his dad seemed to weave their own magic into their technology which is why they didn't end up being a Obscurial.

"You'll going to need wands. I don't know how you have not done any major magical accidents yet." Sirius said thinking maybe some of old family wands would work from the family vault unless he could find a way to get Ollivander here in secret.

Howard's chuckle was harsh. "Oh we had one, I fried out half my working circuits when I heard how you people solve your problems when regular folk catch sight of magic." There was a reason why he firmly thought there were five unforgivables not three. The love potion was the fifth.

"Thankfully I wasn't around at that time nor was young Sir, but he also caused a accident. I don't think the grass on the east lawn is ever going to grow back. Ms. Lockhart please come to Pepper's office, she needs to speak with you." Jarvis chimed into the growing silence.

Sirius was just about to ask something, but stilled at Yelena's reaction when he caught sight of her face as she left. It was emotionless which to him caused a sharp pain in his stomach for some reason so he bit his lip from saying anything.

The Starks left to go to their labs, while James, Lily and Petunia went to play with the boys before their bedtime. Remus excused himself to calm down and the kitchen was quiet after that.

Sirius decided to check out the garage that Tony mentioned offhand during breakfast. Maybe he'll have a few muggle tools laying around so he could finally unpack his motorcycle and tweak it.

But before he did so he went and owl posted the bank to say he was coming and he wanted all the wands out of his vault. Even if he was disowned, he was still a Black and such could access the account.

***

Meanwhile, Enid Pettigrew grieved the downfall of her only precious foolish boy. Then head held high she went to pay her son's unregistered Animagus fee. Her eyes narrowed into slits when the nervous young witch explained that the fee was already taken care of. Pettigrews were not to be in debt to anyone, so she owl posted a strongly written letter to Sirius Black along with the fee he paid for her son. It was the least she could do.

**

Natalia Alianovna "Natasha Romanoff" Romanova woke up and noted a few things, two warm fuzzy cats were purring up a storm on her stomach, her sister was drooling in her sleep on a armchair and Jamie was passed out cold but was dressed differently. She moved her body until Nat's facing the wall and she started to cry. Yelena woke up and could only make out mutters of "It was never real." But Nat knew her sister anywhere and melted into her embrace.

**

Morgan Stark Granger tiptoed past the den where her foster parents were watching something on the television and even if it was chilly, went out to the tree house. The seven and half-year-old nodded in satisfaction at the small device that she and her little sister Hermione made from the old radio that their dad let Morgan have. Hermione was smart for a two-year-old and could follow directions well.

Morgan despite being embraced as part of the Granger household for over a year and half, still wondered about her family. Morgan was found unconscious in a rowboat off the coast on a family vacation, and quickly adopted when her Granger foster family couldn't find her parents. Morgan held her breathe as she slowly twisted the knob to a certain frequency or as her mom joked, her invisible baby-sitter.

"Friday, are you there?" Morgan's voice wasn't as hopeful as it sounded as she had tried and tried to rebuilt the radio into a walkie-talkie and so she kept trying different combos. She had an inkling that the A.I. company that started up in the 1977's was her dad or at least she hoped it was her dad. Who else would be using Captain America's shield as a logo? She snickered at the thought.

Her eyes went wide as a British voice answered her.