Chapter 45: Honor to the Fallen
Nabooru awoke with a cold, limp hand held in her own. It had been warm, when she had fallen asleep in the healer's tent, warm with life and the hope of recovery. She had held a dead woman's hand before, and knew that Mulli lost the last great battle before she even opened her eyes.
"Surgeon!" Nabs called when she finally willed herself to let go of her friends hand. "Surgeon, get over here."
A little old vai, skin browned and weathered from the desert sands was the first to show up, took one look at Mulli and sighed. "Worried that would happen, I did. Nasty burns on her. Nasty. Sometimes the body can go days trying to heal before they just give up."
"Prepare her with the finest clothes you have. This one will meet her ancestors with her head held high."
"As you wish, Commander Nabooru," the crone bowed her head before she scurried off leaving her alone with Mulli.
But would Mulli have her head high? She should, she fought as well as any of the others in Ganondorf's guard, making her a match for any but the greatest knights or strongest of Gorons. One of the greatest warriors in all the world, and yet, the night before she had only dwelt on her failures. Between the tears, and times where the pain was so great she could do nothing but groan or fall unconscious. "Tell Gan I'm sorry," she had said in her few moments she could speak. "Tell him I should have fought better."
She had tried to tell Mulli that she had nothing to be sorry for. That she had done as well as anyone. But she had slipped back into unconsciousness before the sentence was past Nab's lips. Were those her last thoughts? Disappointment? Would Mulli never know that she was good enough?
And would any of those close to the king be any different? They all wrapped themselves in desire for his approval. Desqueza would joke to get a laugh from him. Bethmasse would kill a child she liked without hesitation if Gan had said the word. All of them, even the soldiers would lay down their lives for just one man.
Am I any different? I'm the one that can rein him in. I'm the one that can call him insane or idiotic. And yet I'm still here.
Several of the surgeon's hands walked past her, nodding their respect as they moved to Mulli. In their hands they had a bright dress and dull bronze jewel to place on her head.
"No," Nabooru said, stopping the pair. She took off her own jewelry and handed the gold and red medallion to them. "Use this, she deserves it."
"Too much," one of them said. "Lady Nabooru, the burial is soon. She should not go to-"
"I said to use that," Nabooru stepped forward to the aid, and the surgeon's hand shrunk away from her.
"Of course, my lady. Of course, my apologies."
She watched as the pair affixed the medallion to Mulli's charred forehead. And for a moment, she tried to see Mulli as she once was, young, beautiful, shy, and full of life and skill. Not the burnt ruin that lay before her now.
Nabooru left the tents before the tears took her. If she stayed much longer she'd only embarrass herself. And there was work that needed to be done. It had taken days, but the dead were gathered and a plot of the mountain was dug out for the Gerudo to place their fallen.
As she walked through the encampment all prepared for the burial. Soldiers wearing their best clothes with shawls around the top of their heads in respect wandered the grounds waiting with somber faces. After the disaster of the last battle, everyone lost someone. Many stood and knelt beside priestesses of the Three in their green, red, and blue robes. Taking comfort in their wisdom while desert mothers in their long black gowns and veils gave their own words for the ancestors.
The Gorons were nowhere to be found, they had their own rituals they were attending to with their dead. Overall she preferred it that way, other than a few more Hylians that joined as cooks and merchants, it felt like the old days. The simple times when she knew without question that her cause was just.
"Nabs," Bethe called to her as she reached her tent. Where she could get some fresh clothes and prepare for the service.
"Yes, sister?"
"Where were you, I have looked for you all night." It seemed to be true, from the bags beneath Bethe's eyes.
"Mulli passed," no point in sparing the details. "I was with her in the end."
"Oh, I did not think to check the surgeon's tents." Bethe took a sad breath, looked to her feet for moment before she straightened back up. The moment gone, and once more the soldier stood before her. "I will inform the guard. But I have more bad news. It happened again, last night. Our king-" She looked to both sides of them to see if any were close enough to hear.
"Come inside," Nabs beckoned Bethe into her tent. "What happened?" She said as she fastened the tent shut.
"That same thing that happened outside the Lost Woods, it happened again. I was lucky, I saw him just as his eyes were becoming monstrous."
"Where is he? Bethe, where is he?"
"He managed to make it out of the camp and headed down the mountain I do not know how far he went."
Nabs cursed and rubbed at her braid and growled out her frustrations. "Get Dessi and the others. Organize the burial, if anyone asks Gan is feeling ill." She rushed out of the tent before Bethe even had time to agree.
It did not take her long to find him. Gan could be light of foot when he needed to be, but caution did not seem on his mind the night before. His boots left heavy prints in the dirt and snow. Barely more than a mile from the camp the signs of the land blackened from a barely controlled flame. First only in bouts and smoldering patches of earth. Then after another mile or so, as his rage became impossible to contain, he left behind streaks of charred earth leading right to him.
The witch-fire had burned a circle through the snow, and even melted deep into the rocks. A smoldering crater with Ganondorf the meteor that landed in the center of it. He was curled up, his clothing still smoking. And thankfully, asleep. It was always easier to deal with him, after this whole mess was over.
At least he had the sense to get away this time. And thank the Goddesses those two crones weren't nearby to urge him on.
Nabs growled to herself as she crawled into the crater. She should have seen it coming. Of course he would have a relapse after learning all his plans were for nothing. She should have been there to help him through it. But then, who would have stayed with Mulli?
"Oy," she shouted as she reached him. "Oy, you still breathing?"
Ganondorf stirred. His eyes flicked open. A normal Gerudo yellow to his irises. Good, it was at least over. "Nabs?"
"Sav'otta," she held out her hand.
Gan groaned as he took hold and together lifted him stumbling to his feet. "Did I hurt anyone?"
"Only whatever critters were dwelling nearby." At least that good news she could give him. Now for the hard part, best to get it over with. "Listen, Gan, I have- I have to tell you-"
"Listen, Nabs, I know what to do," Gan said as he turned away from her and looked back up the mountain. "Gather my personal guard, along with two dozen of the best warriors we have remaining. We're going to make our way back to the Crown. If we're lucky we won't have to use them, but it's best to be prepared to show strength if necessary."
"Necessary for what?"
"To show that I am willing to use weapons if I don't get what I need. Keep up, Nabs." He said as if he wasn't raving a load of nonsense.
"Gan, -why?" She waved the comments away. "Gan we don't have time for this."
"Yes, time is important. We need to get back to the camp." And without even looking at the destruction he had caused he started to march back up the mountain.
"Gan," she said as she rushed to keep pace with the speed of his ridiculously long legs. "Gan, what are you talking about?"
"The Crown! I need to get in and work my magic. This will work. I just need to make certain that the Gorons won't get in my way when I do it."
"Do what?"
"Get the Ruby back." He waved his arm and pointed toward the Crown before swinging his hand around gesturing a ground or something. Perhaps that was supposed to have been the base of the cave? She wasn't certain what he was trying to tell her. "I'll probably have to tear up the floor. But it will be worth it."
"Gan, the Ruby is gone. Destroyed. Do you not realize where we're supposed to be?"
"The Ruby can't be destroyed. It was created by the Goddesses, it lasted centuries in the belly of a dragon. No, it's still in there stuck beneath the rocks." He smiled and his eyes got a distant look as he made his plans. "Start with the cracks, obviously. But with the ground shifting from explosions, as Darunia said, it's likely that it may have been moved a good way further than I might expect."
"How are we- Gan, listen this is crazy."
"Now, while I do my work I'm going to need you and our sisters to keep the Gorons off me. I'm certain you can think of a lie that will work. Or maybe Dessi might be the one to do the talking. Whatever you think is best, it's only Gorons after all. They're not the quickest wit in the land." He smiled at her. Smiled!
"Gan! Listen to me." She grabbed at his arm and tugged, finally forcing him to stop and turn around.
"What? What's the matter?"
"Gan. The burial has already started. You're supposed to be there, you have to speak over the dead."
He finally stopped, and some of his energy leeched from his face. "Oh."
Thank the Goddesses, I'm getting through to him.
But the realization in his eyes disappeared, instead replaced with an excited gleam. "That could work."
"What?"
"No, that's perfect. Darunia will be dealing with his own dead as well. The Crown will be open. We have to go, now." He turned away from her, and started marching back up the mountain, clearly expecting Nabooru to follow him. He made it several paces before he seemed to realize he was walking alone. "Come, we have work to do."
"No."
"What do you mean, 'no'?" His eyes narrowed. "Are you disobeying my orders?"
"Wouldn't be the first time."
"Nabooru we do not have time for this. We have to work fast."
"Our sisters are being buried. Right now. Don't you care?"
"Of course I care."
"Then show it!"
"What do you think I'm doing? How best can I show that I care for them than by making their deaths matter! So that they know when they reach our ancestors that they were a part of something great! That they changed the world!"
"Them, or you?"
Ganondorf stepped back, as if she had struck him, his hand raised as if he was about to swing a fist. "How can you ask that? I am doing this for our people. I bowed to that fat oaf for them. I did everything I could to bring water to them. I started all of this for them. I have given everything I have for my people."
"No, you haven't. Gan. Mulli is dead."
His hands lowered to his side. "What? I brought her to safety. I stood over her after the battle."
"She passed last night. She gave everything. Saevus followed you to certain death in the forest. She gave everything. Boszura and Tressa, you sent them as messengers to that monster. And you knew- you knew they would never come back."
"I didn't-"
"I didn't want to think you'd be that callous, but you had to have known. You knew what kind of a monster that Moqut the Thrice-Cursed was and you sent them anyway. I should have seen it, you have been lost in this obsession for so long. You spend your time in your tent casting spells, you don't talk to me, or anyone else unless you're giving orders. When was the last time you even took watch, when you sat at the fire and ate with the people who love you rather than casting us all aside."
"This is war, Nabs. You know that. In war everything must be used as a-"
"Do not quote the 'wisdom' of your mothers at me! Not now!" She pointed toward the camp up the mountain, and the mourning chant of the Gerudo that was starting to drift down to them. "Do you think they are following those two shriveled husks, or are they following you?"
"Just because you hate them does not make them wrong. Nabooru, we need to harden our hearts, make ourselves-"
"You harden your heart! You spit on everyone who follows you if it makes you feel important. But do not call me sister again!" She turned away from him and headed toward the funeral. Let the voe she had followed all her life follow her for a change.
"Nabs," he said. "Nabs," he said louder, stronger, when she did not stop.
He did not call her name again. Nor did his heavy bootsteps follow her. She climbed alone, cursing and wiping tears from her eyes as she trekked back up the mountainside. She wanted to shout at him, she wanted to draw her sword, she wanted to talk to him, to run as they did when they were little and had slipped off from their duties to play. But none of that would happen, not now. Now all she could do was leave him in the destruction he caused.
The burial was well underway when she returned. Rows of soldiers all stood in lines looking toward a small platform where a priestess was leading them in prayer. Singing their mourning songs to the Three and their ancestors. Calling for their friends and family to be shown respect in what came after. Nabooru moved as quiet as she could so she would not disturb the priestess' sermon. Though that proved difficult, as she was moved to her position at the head of the entire army. The same place she stood at all these services since she became Gan's right hand.
She nodded to the other commanders as she took her place and bowed her head, hoping that no one would disturb the burial further. But this was not a day for her hopes to matter.
"Where is he?" Dessi whispered.
"Did you find him?" Bethe said, her deep voice carrying a good deal louder.
"He's not coming."
"What?" Dessi hissed. "He's supposed to give a speech."
"I'll give the speech," Nabs hissed right back.
"You?" Dessi made a strangled half-laugh. "Are you sure you're up to it?"
Nabs glared at her. She could still feel the soreness around her eyes from her tears, but she could still glare with the best of them. Desqueza shook her head, but did not say anything further.
The priestess finished her sermon, by raising her hands and giving a call for one final prayer to the Three. Then she stepped off the small wooden platform. Desert mothers from all the great clans and several of the minor ones went among the grave sights, each giving their clan's last rites and prayers, invoking the names of particularly glorious ancestors to watch over the dead.
Then, all too soon, it was time for a final speech. A last goodbye to the fallen from their king. Nabooru stepped onto the platform. She cursed under her breath, she should have spent that time coming up with something to say, planning out a speech, picking certain moments of bravery and sacrifice in the battle for everyone to remember.
But she hadn't. All she thought about was how angry she was at Ganondorf.
Thousands of eyes looked at her. And she had nothing for them.
"Well," she said. "Well."
By the Goddesses, what was it that she supposed to say?
She tried to start again, hoping that would give her some time to think of something. "Sisters." But no. Nothing. "Sisters. We have here…" Sweat formed on the back of her neck. Oh Goddessses, it would not be long until it pooled around her eyes and forehead, and then everyone would see how uncomfortable she was.
How did Gan do this?
"Sisters."
Those in the front of the crowds were looking nearly as uncomfortable as Nabooru felt. She could not start again. Nabooru glanced to the nearest of the gravestones and those buried beneath it. They deserved so much better than this.
"I am sorry, my sisters. As you know, I'm not usually the one that makes these speeches."
"Where's our king?" came a voice from the crowd, echoed by a few others.
"Gan- King Dragmire is unwell," Nabs called out to the crowd. "It came upon him quickly, and hopefully will be gone before we start our march. But, we're not here to talk about our king. This last battle was difficult, and we lost many. More than we should."
"Because of the Gorons!" came another voice. "They're the ones that tricked us. Forced us to fight on bad terrain."
That was true, but the Gorons were not the cause of this war. But she could not explain the whole truth to the crowd either.
"That's how they treat us," came that same angry voice again. "After all we've done to help them, and they still send us to die."
"Oy!" Nabooru shouted over the crowd's reaction. "Silence. This is to respect the dead."
"What more respect can we show them, than vengeance?"
More of the crowd was starting to whisper among themselves. What were they saying? What if she lost control of all of this?
Her eyes roamed the crowd until she found the rabble-rouser. A younger soldier, full of anger and desire to prove herself. Just as she was when she was younger.
"I see you there," Nabooru pointed toward the young vai. "Today I'm burying dear friends. But if you're wanting a fight, I'll face you myself. My sword always spoke better than my tongue."
That made the soldier pause a moment, even as far away as she was, Nabs could see the fear flash across her face. "It's not you I want to fight," the anger was out of her when she finally replied. "You didn't do me any wrong."
"But you did wrong by me. Interrupt a commander's speech again, and I will beat you bloody. Understand?" That got her to shut up. All of them. Normally, that would have given Nabooru at least a little sense of pride. Instead she turned away from the crowd to look upon the graves. "I held a friend's hand this morning until she passed. A vai I had known for years, one I fought beside, and bled beside. And how many more have we lost in the last battle? All of them died for us Gerudo to find our place in this world. And now, some of you fools wish to throw their sacrifice away? You want to pick fights that will do nothing but make you feel better? How pathetic can you lot be?"
That wasn't good either. She shouldn't be insulting her audience. "I won't have it. Not when I am honoring my friends who have gone to what comes after. What more is there for me to say? We have fought all our lives for ourselves. I do not regret a single battle I've been in. But those we honor today, they died fighting for something greater. They fought for our allies, they protected those who need protecting. And I reckon that is the most honorable death of all. Goodbye all my sisters, may your sacrifices make for a better tomorrow. I will see you when the sands take me as well. Goodbye."
She wished she could have said more. Perhaps how their bravery would never be forgotten? Or point out a few times Mulli fought admirably, or maybe she should have mentioned any of the hundreds of other dead. But how could she when she had been away for most the battle. She didn't see any bravery except her own.
Maybe I can start again? No. That would look worse.
She stepped down from the stand and moved back to her position with the other commanders. The service finished, the soldiers filed away to stand before the various graves, to give their last little personal words before they moved on.
Nabooru made a pass through the various mass graves. Visiting everyone from servants tragically lost when the Lizalfos attacked the camps to warriors that died bravely on the field with spear in hand. Many tears were shed and more than one of their sisters broke down completely and needed to be carried away.
It was starting to get dark when she reached the last gravestone. The one with Mulli's name etched among the other buried beside her. "I did not get to see you placed here, I am sorry." She whispered. It felt so much easier speaking to someone alone than a whole crowd. Even when that someone was dead. "He should have been here, after everything. I'm sorry I could not get him to come. I know I did not tell you this, but I always thought you were the sweetest of our sisterhood. But you always seemed to step back, let others do the talking. I wish I knew you better, of all of our sisters, everything I learned about you I liked."
She touched the stone, rubbing her thumb along Mulli's name. "I'll miss you. We will all miss you. Even those of us who could not be here."
With nothing more to say she nodded her head before she went back to the tents. The others were having a feast to celebrate the dead, one last great meal before the camp gets taken up in the morning and they head back down the mountain.
Yet the thought of eating made her stomach tie to knots. A decision was ahead of her. She would need to travel down the mountain with her army, perhaps she could get herself positioned in the vanguard so she could stay away from Gan.
But what would happen after they reach the bottom? Would she even stay with the army? Could she? What if Gan actually got the Ruby? Would that matter?
No. He was changed. Too much and too quickly. The drive, the intelligence, it was all still there, but he had lost that which made him worth following. But then where would she go? She could return to the desert, live out her days wandering alone like the most pious of the desert mothers. But even in her wildest fantasies she could not see herself in that life. More than anything she wanted to go back to that ridiculous castle and find her mother, and Sir Jora. But what would she tell them? That she abandoned the army? They would need to know why.
Could she reveal what Gan had planned to do? What she had planned to do. Would Jora still look at her after that? Could she look at herself?
She entered her tent and stopped. An unwanted visitor sat on her blankets. Nabooru sneered, "What do you want?"
Ganondorf placed a corked bottle at his side before he met her eyes. He gave her a slow sad wave and beckoned for her to sit beside him. Nabs didn't move. "It was a good speech," he said. "More threats of violence than I usually give at them."
"You were there?"
"Nabs," he sighed. "Nabs, I'm-" He paused, trying to find the right word.
Thankfully, Nabooru knew several off the top of her head. "An arrogant fool."
"I was going to say, single-minded."
"Mine's more accurate."
"Nabooru, you were right. I did not even make it to the entrance of the Crown before I realized how terrible I was being. I am my mothers' son."
Nabooru crossed her arms. "What are you saying?"
"I'm saying," he took a deep breath and closed his eyes a moment as if to control himself. "I made you a promise. It's over. I tried my best. I really did. But perhaps my mothers have been right all along. I'm not the man who can-"
She ran to him, and grabbed hold of her dearest friend, cutting him off before he could continue talking. She had gotten through to him. Her brother. He was back. "No, you just proved you're better than either of those fiends could ever know."
He squeezed her tight, before letting her go.
"You mean it? It's over."
"Yes," though the very word sounded like a dying gasp.
"What do we do now?" Nabooru asked. "The war is still going on."
"Now?" Gan picked up the bottle and sloshed the wine within. "Now, we do what I should have done. Now we open this up, we remember Mulli as best we can, along with all the rest of our sisters we've lost along the way. Sing their names as loud as they deserve. And then- then I will need your help to plan how to stop this war."