Jerky Mcjerkface, District One (18)
I've never understood why anyone would want to live in the outer Districts. They're dirty, smelly, poor, and just gross. Maybe they're just stupid. In that case, it's nice they don't live here. Worthwhile, smart people like me live here, and they're nice enough to keep away. It's survival of the fittest, and we're the top predators.
Of course I wanted to train from the moment I was born. I already had a great life. It was the only way I could move up. I'd get to be on TV and show off in front of the entire country. Sure a few people would get hurt, but them's the breaks. I was already hot, and I looked forward to seeing what a dozen stylists could do to make me really shine. It was obvious the Capitol was the place for me. It was even more glamorous and luxurious than One.
It turned out to be everything I hoped for. The people loved me and the sponsors came pouring in. I aced the interview and got in a little action with some Capitolite babes before the Games began. Honestly, the worst part was the Arena.
I'd been hoping for something more my style when the platform rose up. A mansion would have been nice, or maybe a city. Instead I got a dull forest. At least it wasn't a swamp. While the other Careers focused on stupid things like honor and kill counts, I went after what was really important. I looked over the scrawny kids darting in and out of the Cornucopia and picked a little wimp with black hair and sickly looking skin. I grabbed him as he ran past and pinned him to the ground.
"Guess what, pipsqueak. You get to be my servant," I said. The boy wiggled and tried to claw away.
"Knock it off, stupid. I don't want to kill you. You get to do all my dirty work, got it? You get to cook my food, wash my clothes, basically do everything I say. Me, I won't kill you until later. Understand?" I asked. The boy nodded blankly.
"That's 'yes, master'," I said.
"Yes, master," the boy said.
"No wait, I like 'your majesty' better," I said.
"Your majesty," the boy said. I loved the Games.
I kept my servant, from then on referred to as 'buttface', around until the Careers broke up. Then I killed him, along with the other surviving Career. It sucks when your opponent uses a bow and doesn't care about honorable combat. The only other Tribute left by then was some dope from I don't know where. It was easy to find him and plug him, especially since the Gamemakers pushed us together so things would stay interesting. Then it was time to reap the rewards.
Being a Victor is great. I don't know why more people don't do it. I get money and prizes and all the tail I want. The only problem is my company. The other Victors are such drips. They always whine and they burst out crying over the slightest things. What a bunch of babies. I tried to spend as little time as possible with them. As for me, I had it all. I was famous, I was rich, and I was hot. Everything was as it should be.
Oh dear. You can see why I didn't write Jerky's Games. They're too depressing.