Blake Armani, D1- 18
When you get to the top, it's everything you hope for. I was afraid I'd find out winning didn't mean anything after all, and that I'd still be a scared little girl. I didn't notice the moment the fear left me, but as I wore that crown, it all seemed so far behind me. Most people are afraid of how they might act during a life-or-death fight. I knew how I'd act. I'd win.
In One, there was an unassuming little alley. I hadn't been there in years, and when I went back, it wasn't quite what I remembered. The bakery had been replaced by a pawn shop, and the once-shiny dumpsters were dull and rusted. There was no trace of what happened there, no bloodstains on the cement. It was quiet and peaceful, as far as dirty alleys went. Nothing special at all.
Once there was a boy there, a boy as old as I was now. Even as I trained for a death match, I was deathly afraid of him. There was a sharp disconnect between him and everything else in the world. Anything else I could fight and challenge and win. He was outside that- above it and above me. I never would have dreamed of defying him. Anyone who hadn't been there wouldn't understand it. They were confused whenever I mentioned it. How could you be afraid, they said. You were a Career. Why didn't you just fight him? You don't know until you've been there.
Someone else won that fight for me, but it was the last time I needed help. No one else won the Games for me. No one else killed Steven, Scarlett, Brenna, Tullia, Keison and Volvo. I wasn't proud of everything I did, but I did it myself. That was why I was back in that deserted alley- to show him how much I'd grown.
I imagined myself as I was, there in the alley with him. If I could have been there than as I was now, I never would have let it happen. He wouldn't dare treat past me like that if present me was staring him down. He would have ran like the coward he was. He was gone now, in a coward's grave, and I was still here, looking back at him with disgust instead of fear.
I gained a lot from my Victory, but best of all was something no one could see. No one would ever treat me like that again. I wasn't afraid of anyone. People were afraid of me. They didn't have to be- I wasn't looking for a fight- but they were. I'd changed entirely from that scared little girl ruled over by a tyrant. I wasn't a victim anymore. I was a Victor.
Blake has a picture up on her page of the wiki