"No." Hotaru was eyeing the waterfall, she pulled her haori close to protect her from the chilly breeze. The winter hit sooner than anyone expected. The ground and trees were covered in frost, the heavy clouds above their heads predicted heavy snow in the evening and following days. "I am not going under that waterfall." She shook her head. "No way."

"It's cold resistance practice and meditation! It's healthy." Saki was already undressing into her undergarment. Sango followed her suit.

"I hate the cold. I'm not going there."

"Come on! You can do it! It will open the locks on your powers too."

She narrowed her eyes, she wanted her powers unlocked. So far she could do little, and more often than not, she messed up. She pulled the string keeping her haori tied. "Fine."

"Oh, I knew it!" Saki clapped. "Only a few moments for your first time though, we don't want you to get sick."

They were training outside despite the frosty weather and piled snow. She was gradually getting stronger, faster and she could remember what she did in a fight. It boosted her confidence. It was like Kou said, maybe the mind didn't remember, but her body did.

She was forced to change sparring partners to get used to different body types and strengths every once in a while. But at the end of the day, she spent most of her training time with him. He was the only one willing to train with her after the sun had set. Maybe because he didn't have a family to attend to.

Punch. Block. Punch. Kick. Block. Twist and kick.

And he blocked her again, flipping her in the air and throwing her on her back.

"Uff!" She hit the ground hard. "What did I do wrong?"

"You focused on your movements too much." He grinned and offered her a hand. "You have to watch me too. Although I know my face isn't pretty." He grimaced, pointing at his scarred cheek.

She huffed and dusted the snow off her backside. She never cared for scars, she had her own. "Again."

"Okay."

They went through the same sequence. She avoided him this time, but lost balance and fell on her butt. "I like it more when I have a weapon."

He laughed. "We all do. But sometimes we lose it in the midst of the fight. You have to know how to survive then too. You went too fast now."

"But I have to if I want to keep up!"

He sighed. "I'll say it again. Don't rush. Slow is smooth and smooth is fast. We'll go again slowly. The speed will come to you later."

"Hmph, fine."

Punch. Block. Punch. Kick. Block. Twist and kick.

He caught her heel before it hit his chest. "Yes. Like that. Again."

They repeated the sequence three more times. "Good." He praised her.

"I can't do it slowly all the time!"

"We will pick up the pace. If it's smooth, you'll be able to do it fast. If your movements get hasty, abrupt, you'll be easily predictable and make mistakes. And it will get you killed."

A howl.

They both snapped their heads towards the sound. "Wolves."

"They are getting closer." He frowned seriously. "It's not good. Winter came too soon this year."

"You don't have to tell me. Saki's been dragging me under the waterfall everyday for the past weeks."

Kou laughed, his whole face lit up with the image. "Oh, she loves doing that."

"Eh, I certainly don't." She looked at the half-moon climbing up the sky and sighed. "You have to be careful when hunting."

He raised an eyebrow. "Are you worried about me?"

"I don't want to lose the best and the strictest sparring partner I have."

"I am careful. Always."

"Mhm, that's why I saved you from that yuki-onna the other day." She teased.

"She was so pretty! Who could tell she was a demon."

Hotaru raised an eyebrow at him. "An elder demon slayer, perhaps?"

He rolled his eyes. "Not my fault there weren't enough girls born in my years. And hey! I'm not that old!"

She giggled and breathed on her hands to warm them up. "I haven't implied that." She glanced at him with a small smile. "I simply want you to be careful, okay?" She knew it was foolish to get attached. She was a stranger, she would leave them eventually. But her heart decided otherwise. She cared for this man, liked him, no matter how foolish it was. Not that I would ever tell him.

He blushed and averted his gaze. "I know." What if she has a husband waiting for her somewhere? Kids? Urgh, calm down, you old geezer.

"Another night watch on this tower, Kou?" Saki asked him with a teasing grin. "I thought you rotated the watchtowers?"

"Ah, well." He rubbed the back of his head and looked away. "Arctic foxes moved too far south, we have to be careful. Based on the prints we found, they seem to be pushing other demons out of their territories. Wolves too."

"Hmmm. I wasn't asking about that. Do you perhaps want to be close to Hotaru?"

Kou rolled his eyes. "No. It's a night watch. That's all."

"Mhm." She turned towards her hut. "Lie to the chief all you want, but I am your sister, stupid. I know you through and through. Do you think I don't know you are practising with her all the time?"

"Oh, shut up. I'm too old for these things anyway."

"35 is not too old." She chuckled. "Besides. To me it looks like she grew fond of you as well." She said over her shoulder. "Come grab a tea if the night watch gets too boring."

"Why! Won't! You! Open!" She hit her wooden case with an axe again. The blade glanced off without leaving a single scratch. It's been over two months and she still couldn't open her own case! "Dammit! You stupid case!"

"Hotaru-san?"

She spun around, blushing in embarrassment. She was caught during her silly attempt to force open the wooden case. "Kou-san!" By him no less.

"Uhm, can I help you in any way?" He shifted his weight and smiled shyly.

"Uh," she brushed a loose strand off her face and hid the axe behind her back. "No. I was just… Uhm…" She glanced at the case. "Never mind." She shook her head. He must think I'm nuts. "Were you looking for me?"

"Well," he rubbed the back of his head. "The chief thinks it's time you get your own weapon. He asked if I could help you choose."

She liked his embarrassment. He looked younger and when he would smile and those wrinkles around his eyes would appear… She even liked the long scar on his right cheek. "Oh. Okay."

He nodded and turned to leave. But he flipped back. "Do you want me to try and hit it?" He cocked his chin towards the wooden case lying in the snow. "Axe is my weapon, after all."

"Ah… So you saw my ridiculous attempts."

"You have a good swing." He grinned and stretched his arm towards her.

There are those wrinkles. "All right, I give up." She sighed and handed him the axe. "Give it a try if you want."

He stood over the case, raised the axe above his head and swung down with all his might. And the case's barrier threw him backwards.

"Argh!" He made a few flips until he was stopped by Saki's hut. The wall shook with the impact. The snow piled on the roof slid down and buried him.

"Kou-san!" She ran towards him, digging him out. "Are you all right?!"

He emerged coughing and spitting, he shook his head to get the snow out. "What was that?" He turned to her eyes wide.

"Ah!" They both jerked backwards when they realised their faces were only a few centimetres away. "Sorry."

"No. I'm sorry. I didn't know it could do that. It didn't throw me off."

He shrugged and scrambled to his feet. "Maybe because it belongs to you?"

"Mmmm… Embarrassment aside, I'll have to ask Saki-chan later on. You came to get me a weapon?" She smiled. "Let's do it then."

######

Saki was laughing on the ground, holding her stomach. "No way! I'd love to see that!"

"Shut up." Hotaru rolled her eyes with an embarrassed blush. "It won't open! What was I supposed to do?"

"Uhm, ask me?" She wiped the tears from her eyes and got up, chuckling here and there as she thought about the story. "Well, then you wouldn't get to see Kou as a wet chicken though."

She pouted and crossed her arms. "Stop making fun of me."

"You are adorable! Memory loss flashed you back into the teenage years, when you hasn't even kissed yet." She grinned. "You don't remember. And I know my brother probably hasn't kissed yet either."

"Stop it!" She waved her hand. "I don't have a crush!"

"That's denial. … Ah, never mind that," she pulled the case towards her and switched to her teaching mode. "It is simple, look." She pointed at the two clasps with circular, swirling carvings of refined lines and feathers. "While I don't know this seal, it should respond to your spiritual powers."

"What?! You say all I have to do is channel a little of my energy into it with the intention to open it?"

"Basically? Yes. That's all you have to do. But you must've been cute trying to axe your way into it. I hope it's not going to be your weapon." She laughed at her friend's expense again.

Hotaru sighed, giving up. There was no winning when Saki decided to tease her. "No. I will have a staff with a metal tip and a bell, not even a naginata. As that is apparently a miko's usual weapon."

"You're not happy."

"I like katana more. But I understand the reasons." She shook her head and pulled the case to her. The clasps clicked open when she followed Saki's advice. "Seriously?!"

"Can I peek?" Saki leaned in curiously.

"Yeah, it's not like I have anything to hide." She carefully lifted the lid by a few centimetres, in case something tried to fly out. Nothing happened and she flung the case open.

She blinked in surprise. It was orderly filled with things she knew.

"Oh?" Saki raised an eyebrow.

The case was neatly organised in smaller compartments. They rummaged through its contents together. There were dozens of labelled vials securely tied within their compartments, two leather pouches filled with surgical instruments including a saw, blood transfusion kit, disinfection, two simple grey yukatas, one with cranes, the other with white sakura petals, one spare undergarment, bandages, dried herbs, a flute, a scroll and two notebooks.

Hotaru quickly thumbed through them, noting they were cookbooks for herbal poisons and medicines and they also contained some information about moon phases and details on collecting herbs. The handwriting was hers.

There was also a hunting and fishing knife and some other small items. She noticed a thin line in the lid, there must've been another hidden compartment. If it's hidden, I'll open it on my own later.

"What are those?" Saki poked the leather pouches and the blood transfusion kit. "I've never seen it."

Hotaru explained everything. Named every single object. Her knowledge seeped to the surface, but no memory followed.

"I know how to use all of it." She sighed. "Is it supposed to be my life packed into the case? Did I pack it? Or did someone else? Why those things? I… Urgh, it's familiar, everything is. Or maybe I just want it to be familiar?" She squeezed her thumping temples. "I hate this. I can't remember anything!"

Saki rubbed her shoulders. "Not once were you disgusted by any wound. Even if I was… So.. I'd say you are, or were a doctor? Maybe in a foreign land, where they use things like those?"

"Mmmm… But I speak your tongue. I don't know any other. It wouldn't make sense."

"Maybe you just don't remember it?" She tried carefuly.

"Urgh, a blue-eyed, perhaps a different tongue speaking witch." She tapped her temple. "I'm starting to fear myself. First, I learned I can fight and now this." Who the hell was I?

"Oh, don't even think of fearing yourself. You're not a bad person."

"How do you know? What if I truly am a witch?"

Saki chuckled. "We all are. Don't forget, miko is only a noble name for a witch. Nothing else. Our powers can be used for both good and evil. It's about the heart and conscience. You instinctively saved people, not the other way. A witch cannot hide her true nature for long."

"Sango-chan! Wait up! I'll come with you!" Hotaru ran after the young girl with a handful of laundry and dirty bandages. There were always injured in the demon slayer's village.

Kirara, sitting on her shoulder, meowed and stretched.

"Did Saki-san dump her laundry on you, Hotaru-san?" Sango eyed the enormous pile of cloth Hotaru was balancing in her arms.

"Nah, I offered. There's nothing like a walk in the crunching snow and washing clothes in the icy water."

Sango raised her eyebrow.

"Yeah, I messed up the barrier again. And set the bedding on fire." She rolled her eyes. "It was an accident, I swear!"

Sango chuckled. "I don't doubt that. Saki-san's teaching can be messy."

"It's quite clear for me, but I can't seem to master defensive barriers and spells. Not at the speed Saki-chan would want me to."

She tilted her head. "Then what about the barrier you had when that centipede attacked you?"

Hotaru shrugged and adjusted the overflowing pile of clothes in her arms. "I don't know what that was. I haven't sensed it or made it since then."

"Hmmm… Could a part of your powers be sealed up too?"

"Who knows? Saki-chan still can't tell if I carry a memory seal, a curse or if it's a trauma." She sighed. "I wonder if I can ever remember."

"You can always stay with us." Sango smiled at her. "You make a very good demon slayer. And I think Kou-san likes you." She winked at her conspiratorially.

"Oh, not you too." She rolled her eyes.

"Just saying. The practice grounds are behind my house, I watch you all the time. I've never seen him smile so much."

"Urgh. Yeah, right. Me a blue-eyed witch with a doubtful past filled with fighting and scars, at least that's what I think. What if my personality changed too?"

"A blue-eyed witch, who saved his life from Yuki-onna. Besides, I don't think one's personality can change so much when they lose their memories. You are you. A person who saves others on instinct can't be bad." She halted midstep and frowned.

Hotaru peeked over her shoulder. "Wolves. The tracks are fresh. From tonight, maybe?"

Sango nodded. The stream with a footbridge they used for washing clothes was near, but the prints were unsettling. "Six of them. They are coming closer."

"Three of us." Hotaru smiled at her. "We should be fine."

"Meoow." Kirara agreed, stretching her legs and jumping down from Sango's shoulder.

They continued forward in silence, following the nekomata.

Stay with them, hm? Sango wasn't the only one who suggested it. The longer she was with them, the more they all grew to her. But the doubts were gnawing at her all the time. She couldn't remember those times when her instincts took over. She didn't tell them, pretending she could. It was good she saved lives. But what if one day I don't? What if it is a curse? A one that can control me? It was a frightening idea. One she didn't want to confide to anyone.

"Quickly! We need a healer!"

"What happened?!" Hotaru and Saki grabbed their healing kits and ran towards the chief's house immediately.

"Wolves attacked us. They almost killed him until we got to him."

They gently placed Kou near the fire. He was deadly pale and heavily bleeding. The starving wolves bit out several chunks of his flesh, without killing him. They were starving that much.

"Kou!" Hotaru's eyes widened in horror.

"Aniki!" Saki rushed to his other side. "He won't make it!" She panicked, seeing all the blood and wounds. "Oh, no. He won't make it! The bleeding… No… no."

"Snap out of it." Hotaru said determinedly and pulled her hair back. "I won't let him die." She slipped into her healing mode. Good, the frost slowed the bleeding. But he lost too much blood. If it's not refilled, he might… No! Think. Calm down, breathe.

"We need to stop the bleeding, disinfect and sew the wounds. They didn't bite through the armour, no abdomen damage. Just a massive blood loss."

"How can you be so calm?!" Saki glared at her, her lips trembling in fear, her eyes filling with tears. "He is my brother!"

"Your tears won't help him right now."

Saki's fists clenched. "What you- You know it just like me!" Her voice broke. "He won't' survive this!"

"Get her out!" She barked at the chief. "Sango! Come help me."

A myriad of insults and angry cries followed as the demon slayers dragged Saki out. Hotaru ignored her. She was fully focusing on the patient. She refused to lose him, even if she had to try the transfusion. And the less of them knew, the better.

She looked at Sango encouragingly and her voice softened. "Your help is all I need. Just listen to what I tell you."

"Hai!"

"There is one thing I can try, but it is risky."

######

Hotaru pulled the needles from her and Kou's veins. She swayed, feeling light headed and the chief grabbed her elbow to stabilise her. Only he and Sango remained, she asked everybody out. "Thanks, chief." I gave him a little too much.

"Are you okay?" Sango asked worriedly.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

Kou's chest was rising and falling steadily. His wounds were closed and sewn, he wasn't bleeding anymore. But he wasn't out of the woods yet. His body had to accept Hotaru's blood. She had a feeling it would be okay. It had to be okay.

"Watch him. If he seizes, there'll be no helping him."

"You warned us." The chief nodded thoughtfully. "You did what you could. He would've died otherwise."

"He still might." She brushed his scarred cheek. Please don't die.

"Go get Saki-san. She's worried sick."

"And hellishly angry."

"She was scared. He's the only family she has. Every one of us lives so close to death, always believing it won't be him, but the man next in line. And even that is scary." The chief smiled sadly. "If something happened to Sango, or Kohaku, I can't even imagine what I'd do but I let them fight with us. This is our lifestyle. This is who we are. Whatever happens, the sun always rises."

She nodded, using the chief's support to get to her feet. "Thank you."

"No, I thank you. All of the men are like my sons and brothers. I'm glad we found you in those woods."

"Kou survived the night!" Saki woke her up, happily spinning around the room. "He survived the night! Thank you!" She hugged Hotaru, who was groggily getting up from her bedding.

"Of course he did." She rubbed her eyes. So I can give my blood to others? Or maybe, I was just lucky and we have the same type and Rh? Hn… No, I can't go around testing it. I could kill the next person.

"Oh, I love you!" She hugged her. "What magic did you do? No one would tell me and I haven't taught you how to share your spiritual energy with others or how to fasten your own healing yet." She pulled back and looked at her thoughtfully.

"Huh? We can do that?"

"Yeah, but… eh," she frowned, "it's risky. You can't share too much, you can't save everyone either. And sometimes, it's better to let the person go."

Hotaru nodded. "I know the concept. You can never save everyone. But if you can save those you love, it's enough." Tears welled in her eyes. "Eh? What-" she reached up, wiping the salty liquid. She was surprised and shocked. "Why am I…" What is… A shock? Or relief?

"Oh, no." Saki pulled her into a hug again. "The mind doesn't remember, body and heart do." She whispered, caressing her hair.

"What do you mean?" She buried her face in Saki's shoulder. Enormous waves of longing, grief and sorrow were washing over her. She didn't understand it, but once the dam broke, she couldn't stop crying. Her entire being was being torn apart by feelings from forgotten memories.

"That you lost what you loved dearly. You don't remember, don't understand, but you feel it. You said it yourself. If you can save those you love… Let it all out. Tears are cleansing."

######

For the first time, she left the village alone. She needed to be on her own, to think, to process. Her eyes were still stinging from the tears she shed for no rational reason. She wanted to go to the shrine, feel the remnants of Midoriko's pure powers constantly humming in that place.

"What if I am losing my mind?" She kicked the snow. "Seeing sense, where there is none? Hmmm, but I did know what to do to save him. He will live. Why? Why him? I cannot be in love. No… Why? And here I am, kicking the snow, talking to myself. Idiot."

She sighed, and silenced herself. She was wondering who she lost? A sibling? Parents? A lover? Or a child, maybe? She was that age after all. She rubbed her underbelly. Body remembers, huh? If I had a child, there should be a mark, the mother's body changes… I should check it out later.

A snarl.

She flipped around, squeezing her staff. What a useless weapon, she thought. Ready for a fight. Nothing.

A pile of snow fell from a branch with a soft whoosh.

She kept turning around, watching, listening. The sun was reflecting off the fresh white snow, hurting her eyes. She tried focusing her energy, but fear was clouding her ability.

Another snarl. In front. A wolf? Or a demon?

She held her breath and squinted her eyes, painfully realising how stupid she was to come out here all alone. Especially after the wolves almost killed Kou the day before.

A white and grey smudge jumped from one tree to another, hiding, snarling.

Not a wolf. It moved again, getting closer. An arctic fox demon? She couldn't see it clearly, it's winter camouflage was too good.

Tremendous youki washed over her. The fox demon whined and ran. She remained glued to a spot. Never before had she felt such a youki. An ancient demon.

She heard the flapping of wings as the presence landed behind her. She trembled, cold sweat dripped down her face. If I move, I die.

"Nice reaction." A croaky, cawing voice said. The pressure of youki got stronger, threatening to crush her bones. "Don't move, woman."

Not that I can. She frowned. What do you want? A part of her wanted to hide, another part, a more defiant one, wanted to turn around and see the demon.

She felt his breath on her ear as he leaned closer, sniffing her hair. She glanced at the shadow they cast. The demon had wings. And carried two swords. Tengu? Here?

"I see." She could hear the smirk in his voice. "The moonless night is close."

"W-what do you-"

CRASH!

His head snapped towards the sound. "We shall meet again… Little feather."

He stretched his wings and he took off, creating a shock wave that pushed her to the ground.

"Gah!" She let out the withheld breath. Her legs were shaking after the encounter. "I thought I was dead." She panted, holding a hand over her heart. She heard a battle in the distance, but she turned tail and ran back towards the village. Towards the thought of safety.

But deep down she knew that if this demon decided to attack the village, they stood no chance at all.

"Foxes and crows." Sesshomaru spat the word out as if it was an insult. He shook the snow off his shoulders and settled by the fire Jaken had readied.

"What is it, Sesshomaru-sama?" Jaken asked curiously.

"Arctic foxes are too far south this winter. Followed by the tengus, of course." He rested his hand on his bent knee. Winter was certainly not his favourite season. He usually spent it in his humble secluded cave, avoiding his mother, with occasional hunting trips and territory marking trips.

"It's nothing you cannot handle, my lord." He said proudly.

"Hn." Of course he could handle it. Foxes were no match, but the tengus… He wasn't willing to cross paths with those. Especially not with him.

Hotaru didn't have any time to think about her encounter, because she was running around the surrounding villages with Sango, Saki and another two slayers. A lot of small demons crawled out because of the foxes and wolves and they needed to be taken care of. And Saki needed to deliver medicine for the usual winter coughs and sicknesses.

The days were slowly prolonging allowing them to travel longer, further. Hotaru got to test the glamour spell Saki had taught her. She also got to test her polished fighting skills. And this time, she remembered the fights.

"Hmmm…" She weighed the weapon in her hand. "I might come to like this stupid staff."

"Well, of course. My brother picks the best." She sighed. "I hate that I can't be with him. When do you think he'll wake up?"

"He should be up when we return." I hope. I'm worried sick too. It's taking too long.

Soumei couldn't understand the script in front of him at all. He was staring at it for over a week now. Its curves and curls seemed to be running around the scroll sometimes, moving, shifting. It wasn't possible. It shouldn't be possible. He rubbed his eyes in case they were playing tricks on him, but he'd swear the symbols were moving on the paper. That's not possible.

"Oi, oi, lil' brother, I heard you had fun in Fujitaro's territory!"

"Hm?" He looked up from the scroll and frowned at his older brother. "Oh, yeah. Jealous we didn't call you?"

"For a few foxes? I don't like those creatures." He snorted. "Fujitaro-sama surely envies Saburo-sama's white fox."

"Perhaps, but the taming was fun. And now he has his own fox." Soumei grinned.

He rolled his eyes and peeked over Soumei's shoulder: "Hmmm… That's what got you into studying seals? Or is it fear that you'll lose the next tournament again?"

A mocking eyebrow went up. "Afraid? Me? Of you? Your last victory was a fluke."

"A pocket dimension, brother. Not a fluke." A smug smile. "Still. Unusual for you to be in the library. What are you up to?"

He snorted. "I'm simply widening my horizons so I can kick your ass in everything, Ichijou-nii."

"You won't get it." He pointed his chin at the scroll Soumei was reading. "That's grandfather's scroll. He had his own sealing code. I couldn't break it and father wouldn't help. I wonder if he knows or not… I'd bet he doesn't."

"If father heard you, you'd be helping all surrounding villages hauling snow off the roads for the rest of the winter… and following decades."

"HA?! What did you say?!" Ichijou spun back, glaring at his brother.

"Is your hearing getting worse with age?" He provoked, feeling the tingle in his chest.

A growl.

Soumei smirked, shifting his weight, preparing to jump backwards.

Ichijou's arm shot forward and hit his chest.

Ah, predicted spot on. He flew backwards and crashed through the rock wall of the library. Several books and scrolls followed after him, tumbling down the high mountain.

Soumei's wings instinctively shot out and stabilised him in the air. He was grinning at his brother.

"You know the loser will have to collect the books." He looked at the books disappearing in the snowstorm ranging below them, giving his brother a deliberate opening. A blade whooshed down on his head.

"Hm?" He avoided the blade, grinning at Ichijou. "What was that? Oh, we're fighting already?"

"I fail at nothing!"

Soumei laughed, tilting his head backwards. "Oh. Except for our fights?" With the storm below, the air pressures would shift and change. Flying could be tricky. Soumei took a deep breath. It was a promise of an interesting battle. A battle in which he would revel. He was not labelled the best fighter for nothing.

He felt it in his feathers. This victory is mine.

When they returned to the demon slayers' village, Kou was already up. He was shuffling through the village, trying to move his muscles. "I see he is fine." One of the slayers from their troop pointed at him.

"Brother!" Saki ran towards him and jumped on his back. They both toppled backward.

"Are you crazy?" He grumbled as he untangled her limbs from her.

"I thought you'd die! You can't scare me like that! Do you know how worried I was?!"

"Uh…" He rubbed the back of his neck. "I heard from the chief. Sorry?" His eyes landed on Hotaru and he blushed, quickly looking away. "Uhm… Thank you. I heard… what you… did for me."

Hotaru smiled, relieved he was okay. "I'm just glad you're alive. I told you, I didn't want to lose my partner."

Saki made an 'oh' face. "A partner now? Did I miss something?"

"A sparring partner, I mean." Hotaru glared at her. "And you know it!"

"Mmmm." She grinned foxily. "Sure, sure. As I see it, you should come live in my hut. Until you can keep your balance properly."

"No." He got up and pulled her to her feet as well. "That's out of the question."

She leaned closer and whispered to him: "I know you'd love to."

Kou glared at her and the others laughed at his expense. Except Hotaru. She wasn't laughing. She was looking at the sky, trying to disappear.

In the end, Saki dragged him to their hut claiming she won't let him off her eyes, until he is up and fighting again.

A/N: Let me know what you think but remember, reviews are appreciated but never necessary.

S.