The USS Sampson arrived at Caitian for a diplomatic mission. Kara wanted to add this rather peculiar race to her Galactic Federation collection via diplomacy rather than Mon's conquering approach. From all accounts, the Caitians were peaceful albeit a little eccentric. Kara entered Brainiac 5's lab to begin preparations for the mission.
"Barney, is this really necessary?" she doubted.
"You must look the part if you wish to gain their trust and respect," Brainiac 5 insisted.
"God, Mon would never do something like this," Kara frowned.
"And you would be correct. This is a way to show your superior diplomatic skill," Brainiac 5 said.
"He really pissed me off, galavanting around the multiverse with his pal, Kang," Kara said displeased.
"It may have worked out well in the end," Brainiac 5 allowed.
"Yeah, maybe, who knows?" Kara rolled her eyes. "At least, I'll never see his face here."
"We can begin the procedure now," Brainiac 5 said patiently.
Kara hesitated, looked around, and then finally stripped off her Supergirl uniform. Now naked, she entered a chamber with a humanoid mold. Kara allowed the chamber to close on her. The chamber had been used for Brainiac 5's drones when he wanted to appear more organic. The heat and pressure would be unbearable for an ordinary lifeform. There was a hissing sound as the chamber opened. Kara was now completely covered in a flesh-like material.
Kara remained perfectly still as the fleshy material began to rapidly grow white fur. Within seconds, her body was covered in white fur with occasional black spots and stripes. Superficial ears grew near the top of her head and claws took shape on her hands and feet. Her tail began to move on its own as it was also coated in fur. Kara's look was now complete.
"Try to move now," Brainiac 5 allowed.
Kara cautiously moved in her new flesh suit. The fleshy material stretched and contracted well enough with her movements without tearing. She looked at herself in a mirror and saw herself as a cat-like humanoid. She rubbed all over her body as she experienced the fur. "Barney, this is so weird," she said apprehensively.
"I think you'll blend right in," Brainiac 5 theorized.
"Do I get to wear some clothes? I feel so exposed right now," Kara said wide-eyed.
"In a way, you are wearing clothes. Your body is completely covered in flesh and fur," Brainiac 5 reminded her.
"Yeah, that's true," Kara allowed. "I suppose the feeling of nakedness is when you lack the contrast between areas of your body that are clothed versus areas that are not."
"Interesting," Brainiac 5 said dismissively.
"So, no Caitian wears clothes?" Kara doubted.
"They do but only the high elites. If you wish to gain their trust, I recommend you not begin your diplomatic mission looking like an elitist without any reputation to justify it," Brainiac 5 advised.
"Well, okay then," Kara agreed.
Looking like a cat-humanoid, Kara came by what looked to be a city. The city seemed abandoned but Kara knew otherwise. With her X-ray vision and super-hearing, she knew the Caitians were hiding all around her. They moved about with cat-like movements, on all fours, slowly crawling toward her, tails raised high on alert. Kara remained standing as she quickly became ambushed by a squad of them. They all had a similar build but unique fur designs that differentiated themselves. They didn't wear clothes but they did often wear necklaces and collars. The squad of Caitians moved around her on all fours, inspecting her, and then suddenly ran off to their hiding spaces.
Kara remained standing in a fighting stance not sure what to make of them. The Caitians then approached again out in the open but from a cautious distance. They began to ask her a series of curious questions. "Can you see in the dark? Can you say of your bite, that it's worse than your bark? Do you land on your feet? Are you tense when you feel a storm in the air?"
"Yes...," Kara replied cautiously.
"Can you ride on a broomstick to places far distant? Have you been an alumnus of heaven or hell? Are you mean like a minx? Are you lean like a linx? Are you keen to be seen when you're smelling a rat? If you were and you are, you're a Jellicle Cat," they said to her.
"Then...I guess I am one," Kara said uncertainly.
"We can dive through the air like a flying trapeze. We can turn double somersaults, and bounce on a tire. We can run up the wall, we can swing through the trees. We can balance on bars, we can walk on a wire," they informed her.
"Seems like a low bar but alright," Kara allowed.
"Can you sing at the same time in more than one key?" one asked her.
"I was in this club Glee until they kicked me out," Kara assured them.
"Are you a Practical cat, dramatical cat, pragmatical cat, fanatical cat, oratorical cat, delphioracle cat, skeptical cat, dispeptical cat, romantical cat, pedantical cat, critical cat, parasitical cat, allegorical cat, metaphorical cats, statistical cat, mystical cat, political cat, hypocritical cat, clerical cat, hysterical cat, cynical cat, or rabbinical cat?" they asked.
"A little of each except that last one," Kara answered.
The Caitians brought Kara to a Times Square area and immediately invited her to dance and sing with them. Kara, an already expert singer, was able to join them well enough. Her eyes and super IQ allowed her to memorize their dance moves instantly. Within the span of a few minutes, she was nearly at their level as they climbed statues and whatnot.
On the rooftop of one of the buildings, in the deep shadows, a sinister dark Caitian watched Kara getting super along with everyone. "What the fuck?" he wondered.
Kara continued her singing dance routine with her newfound Caitian friends when they all suddenly ditched her and went into hiding around town. "Going to the ball? I wouldn't go if I were you. It could get dangerous," MaCavity said to her. He was bigger and older than the other Caitians she had encountered. He was also wearing a fur coat and hat.
"Danger could provide a chance for interesting drama and we can't have that, can we?" Kara mocked.
"It will be MaCavity who wins," he said to her. "There's no one like MaCavity."
"I assume that's you, asshole," Kara stared him down.
"A wonderful magician but a monster of depravity," MaCavity continued.
"Reminds me of Dr. Strange," Kara said thoughtfully.
"One moment you see him...," MaCavity said.
"Hey, come on," a cat behind her distracted her. Kara turned to see him and then turned back to MaCavity but he was already gone. "Where the fuck did he go?" she asked looking around. "Fucking Catman?" she wondered.
Kara gave the street one last look and then followed the cat that had distracted her. As she came up to a gate, two female cats stopped her. "What's your name?" they asked her.
"Kara," she answered.
"The naming of cats is a difficult matter. It isn't just one of your holiday games. You may think at first I'm as mad as a hatter. When I tell you a cat must have three different names," Munkustrap said to her.
"Secret identities? I can dig it," Kara allowed.
"First of all, there's the name that the family uses daily but I tell you a cat needs a name that's particular, a name that's peculiar, and more dignified. But above and beyond there's still one name left over and that is the name that you never will guess, the name that no research can discover," Munkustrap told her.
"Well, okay then," Kara humored him.
"Jellicle Cats meet once a year at the Jellicle Ball where we all rejoice and the Jellicle Leader will soon appear and make what is known as the Jellicle Choice," Munkustrap told her.
"That explains literally nothing," Kara frowned.
"When Old Deuteronomy, just before dawn announces the cat who can now be reborn and come back to a different Jellicle life," Munkustrap explained.
"So, reincarnation: got it," Kara nodded. "What if I like my current life? What if I'm the most powerful being in the universe with insane riches?"
"Only the most deserving cat will be reborn into another life," Munkustrap clarified.
"Damn," Kara said, feeling disqualified. "So, how is one chosen?"
"By singing a song about themselves, of course," Munkustrap said obviously.
"Sounds a bit narcissistic but carry on," Kara allowed.
"Who they are what they do. Come, see a cat that is practicing to compete to be the Jellicle's choice," Munkustrap invited.
Kara humored him and followed him into a house. The size of the house seemed several times too big for the occupant with counters and cabinets way too high. Kara assumed it was the Caitian way to climb all over the place and walk on countertops. The cat in question was lying in her bed in the kitchen room with a large fireplace.
"So, other than being a fat-ass, what're her qualifications?" Kara asked Munkustrap.
"She hunts down mice, trains them to do dance shows, and then eats them. It's like a dinner and a show," Munkustrap explained.
"That's brutal as fuck," Kara approved.
However, Jenny was incompetent and hardly able to move due to being so clumsy and fat. It got worse as Jenny displayed hundreds of marching cockroaches instead of, you know, raiding them into oblivion. "I have some constructive feedback about this infestation...," Kara began.
A new Caitian emerged on the scene wearing a rich fur jacket and a shaggier coat of darker fur. "I'm Rum Tum Tugger, and I'm a curious cat. I want to feed off your back," he said to Kara.
"Excuse you?" Kara asked, completely aroused by his audacity.
"I'm completely contrarian to everything you want me to do," he said to her. "When you let me in, then I want to go out. I'm always on the wrong side of every door and as soon as I'm at home, then I'd like to get out."
Kara gave him hungry eyes. "Don't you dare cuddle with me."
"I only like what I find for myself, Kara," he said to her.
Rum then took Kara to the club where milk was the typical drink of choice. All the female cats stared at him in awe as he danced and sang. However, as soon as Grizabella showed up, Rum took off fearfully. Kara frowned realizing Rum wasn't the one for her. "Who is she?" Kara asked of her as Grizabella walked off, a total outcast.
"She used to be a star. Then, she joined MaCavity and became an apostate. Now, she lives in exile in the wasteland," Munkustrap explained.
The mayor of the so-called town then showed up. "You look like you're absolutely starving. You can't attend the ball on an empty stomach," Bustopher said to her.
"Compared to you, everyone looks like they're starving," Kara shot back.
"He wants to be reborn as a thin cat so he can get fat all over again," Jenny said, lacking all self-awareness.
"Don't listen to this bitch," Bustopher said and then pulled Kara aside. "Bustopher Jones is not skin and bones. He has eight or nine clubs," he said impressed with himself. "I'm the cat they all greet as I walk down the street. My coat is of fastidious black and my trousers are well-cut. At one club or another, I'm found. It can be no surprise that under your eyes, I have grown unmistakably round. But I'm so well preserved because I've observed all my life a routine, and I'd say I am still in my prime."
Bustopher then invited Kara to his mansion house which was also a few sizes too big for him. Exiting the grand house, Bustopher led Kara to the back alley filled with dumpsters. He then placed himself on a board over a lever system. A cat dropped down on the other side of the lever and nothing happened...cuz Bustopher was too fat.
"What the fuck? How was that supposed to work? Look at me, look at you, the fuck you doing? You have embarrassed me. You're now on my shit list. Let's gather up some more of the...cats and make this happen," Bustopher said outraged.
Kara lightly placed her foot on the lever shooting Bustopher into the air and into a large empty barrel. When this didn't satisfy, Bustopher jumped on another barrel to pull it down. Trash and rotten food then fell all over the street. The Caitians went to work on the "biological material" as Kara watched in total disgust.
MaCavity then showed up on the scene causing the Caitians to scatter. "Really?" Kara asked as she didn't know what to do next. With her X-ray vision, she noticed the Caitains gathering on another street. She casually met up with Munkustrap again.
"Where have you been?" he scolded.
"I've been abandoned by you all several times so far," Kara said peeved.
"You're just in time to see Old Deuteronomy," Munkustrap said with reverence.
"Who?" Kara wondered.
"Old Deuteronomy's lived a long time. She's a cat who has lived many lives in succession. She is famous in proverb and famous in rhyme," Munkustrap introduced.
Old Deuteronomy then emerged from the fog wearing a fur coat, presumably the fur of all the cats she had defeated in her long life. Old Deuteronomy then led the Caitans into a ballroom where the Jellicle Ball would take place. At some point, Grizabella snuck in. One particular Caitan wore red pants. Kara eyed the dancing Caitians thinking the use of clothes might be a status symbol of some kind. In the dance, Kara expertly partnered with Munkustrap with each of them giving each other flirting glances. The dance became so intense that the Caitains all fell to the floor exhausted.
Kara noticed Grizabella depart from the ballroom. Kara followed after her. "What's your deal?" she asked her. Grizabelle walked off ignoring her question.
Old Deuteronomy then came by Kara's side. "We had the experience but missed the meaning and the approach to the meaning restores the experience in a different form, beyond any meaning. We can assign to happiness the past experience revived in the meaning is not the experience of one life only but of many generations - not forgetting, something that is probably quite ineffable," she advised.
"Sounds like some post-modern bullshit," Kara critiqued.
"Are you alright, my dear? We haven't met before, have we?" Old Deuteronomy asked her.
"I was abandoned by my mate," Kara said vaguely.
"Oh, poor thing. Would you like to see me make the Jellicle choice?" Old Deuteronomy asked her.
"Only if the choice is me," Kara said obviously.
"Come, we're about to begin," Old Deuteronomy invited.
Kara came back inside the ballroom and then saw her. It was Bombalurina, an orange-stripped Caitan with a strong resemblance to She Who Must Not Be Named. "Kara! Kara's a mystery cat. She's called the Hidden Paw For she's a master criminal who can defy the law. For when they reach the scene of the crime, Kara's not there!" Bombalurina accused. "Kara, Kara, there's no one like Kara. She's broken every law, breaks the law of gravity, her powers of levitation would make a fakir stare, and when you reach the scene of a crime, Kara's not there."
Kara faced off with Bombalurina in a cat-fight stare off but Bombalurina wasn't nearly done. "Kara, Kara, there's no like Kara. For she's a fiend in feline shape, a monster of depravity. You may meet her in a by-street, you may see her in the square, but when a crime's discovered, then Kara is not there."
"If I commit a crime, I always stick around to make sure everyone knows it," Kara told her off.
"She's outwardly respectable, but I know she cheats at cards," Bombalurina continued.
"That's fair," Kara allowed.
"Kara, Kara, there's no like Kara. There never was a being of such deceitfulness and suavity. She always has an alibi and one or two to spare. Whatever time the deed took place, Kara wasn't there," Bombalurina concluded.
MaCavity suddenly grabbed Kara by behind as Bombalurina clawed her face. The two then backed away to see the wound they had caused. Kara's facial mask was torn to shreds on her right side revealing her Kryptonian forehead, eye, and cheek underneath. The artificial flesh quickly regenerated the wound and then fur spread over it. However, the damage had been done. Kara was now exposed.
Old Deuteronomy then approached Kara with a stern face. "You cannot be the Jellicle cat," she declared. There was a long awkward silence in the ballroom with no singing and dancing for once.
"Is that all?" Kara asked incredulously.
"We could all tell your true nature, by how you move, your accent, your smell. Yet, we are grateful you sought to appear like us, to be like one of us," Old Deuteronomy said to her. "You sang and danced with us as if you were one of us."
"I suppose I did," Kara said, still confused.
"So, I'm the Jellicle cat, right?" MaCavity assumed.
"Never, you're a cheat. Be gone with you," Old Deuteronomy told him. "The cat I choose to be the Jellicle cat is Grizabella, the exile. Upon being reborn, she will be one of us again."
"Oh, how sweet," Kara said touched.
Grizabella then came before everyone and came before Old Deuteronomy. "I see the dew on a sunflower and a rose that is fading. I yearn to turn my face to the dawn. I'm waiting for the day. I now see the meaning of happiness, a new life. I must wait for the sunrise. I must think of a new life. When the dawn comes, tonight will be a memory, too. And a new day will begin," she said happily.
"In the end, all that you wanted was to be wanted," Kara mused.
"All your memories of pain, let them go," Old Deuteronomy said to Grizabella. "And you'll dance with the beautiful ghosts."
Old Deuteronomy then opened her jaws wide and bit into Grizabella's neck. Kara watched horrified as Old Deuteronomy took Grizabella to the floor, blood leaking out, her neck crushed. Grizabella then suffocated and died in Old Deuteronomy's grip. Kara looked around to see if anyone else thought this scene was fucked up. To her amazement, the Caitians all had smiles on their face, full of wonder.
Old Deuteronomy then rose up, wiped the blood from her lips, and focused on everyone else. "With her death, she shall be reincarnated," she declared.
The Caitans cheered and celebrated with song and dance. Kara just stared at Grizabella's body in total disbelief and then walked out. As she did, MaCavity met up with her. "I know that look," he smiled. "You're thinking of toppling our society and conquering us in your own image."
"It did cross my mind," Kara admitted.
"Well, before you do, how about you come to my place for some cookies, milk, and sex," MaCavity suggested.
Kara scoffed at that. "Won't Bombalurina mind?"
"She'll be joining us," MaCavity smiled.
Kara smirked at that. "Show me the way."
Author's Notes: I decided to reject the idea of actually changing Kara into a cat as it could create plotholes later as to how she regains her powers. Her powers are based on her incredibly massive reserves she built over the time that would be gone if she changed species and that energy was lost. Also, the true ideal of a furry is not to be a different species per se but to appear as one to a realistic degree. In this way, a furry can transform themselves repeatedly without restraint. The transformation, itself, is the truly magical and erotic part of the whole thing. At least, that's what I've been told... If you're a furry, you can go ahead and correct me in the review section. I think all or most of us would be intrigued by the notion of Mellissa Bennoist joining Cats in a live-action movie. Alas, we got She Who Must Not Be Names instead.