The USS Nemo was now repaired and ready for its next tour to kick ass on an unsuspecting galaxy. Unfortunately, someone forgot to actually fuel the ship requiring a reassessment. At an officer's meeting, Mon, Imra, and Eltro considered the matter. "We're dangerously low on deuterium," Imra warned.
"What the fuck is that?" Eltro asked confused.
"It's a highly concentrated radioactive gas...wait...you're the chief engineer. You're fucking with me, right?" Imra asked alarmed.
"The Insane make do with what they can find in the wild," Mon said unconcernedly. "Any deuterium deposits show up on the scans?"
"We should go back to Earth to resupply or better, yet, Titan," Imra said.
"Yeah, that's not happening. Looks like there's a planet nearby. Do you think it might have deuterium?" Mon asked Eltro.
"It just might," Eltro smirked knowingly.
Imra sensed she was being messed with. "I'll begin detailed scans," she said and then left.
Mon and Eltro smiled at their victory.
On the bridge, Mon waited for Imra to finish her scans. "There is a mining settlement on a planet at the near end of the habitable zone. Their tanks indicate eighty thousand liters of deuterium."
"I imagine that's a lot," Mon questioned her.
"More than sufficient," Imra rolled her eyes.
"Hail them. Perhaps we can strike a deal with them on Insane terms," Mon ordered.
"They're not answering our hails. There are seventy-two life signs," Laurel reported.
"Well...shit," Mon sighed.
"The planet is fairly hot. I would wear summer uniforms," Imra advised.
"White ranger uniform, it is," Mon agreed.
Mon, Imra, and Eltro took a shuttle down to the mining settlement. Mon and Eltro wore summer Insane uniforms that were all white. On top of their uniforms, they wore golden ankle bans, wrist bands, belts, and white, gold, and black chest armor that extended over their shoulders. Imra simply wore an all-white one-piece suit that exaggerated her feminine physique. The three met with the leaders of the mining colony, Tressic and Maklii. They were humanoid aliens with ridges in the middle of their foreheads. The mining facility features extraction pumps very close to their dome living quarters. Due to the heat, the miners wore beige clothes.
"It is hot as fuck out here," Mon noted. Tressic and Maklii simply stared at them. "We tried to hail you but there was no response."
"Communications are down," Tressic lied.
"Must be hard to do business that way," Mon smirked, detecting the lie. "We understand this is a deuterium extraction facility."
"That's right," Tressic confirmed.
"We'd like to trade for your supply," Eltro said, hoping for resistance.
"I'm sorry but our pumps are off-line. You'll have to wait later in the season," Tressic shot down.
"I call bullshit. You have eighty thousand liters," Mon said.
"You scanned our tanks," Tressic said offended.
"No shit. Now, let's do business," Mon ordered.
"We have another buyer," Tressic denied. "Come back at the end of the season and we'll accommodate you."
Mon and Eltro smiled at each other. "Another buyer, huh? And who would that be?" Mon asked.
"We're not at liberty to say," Tressic declined.
"If your extraction pumps are down, you won't make your quota. And then you're fucked, am I right?" Mon asked knowingly.
"You have any experience in extraction pumps?" Maklii asked.
"Maybe," Eltro said coyly.
"If we meet our quota, the rest we can sell to you," Tressic offered.
"Eltro, fix their shit," Mon ordered. Eltro rolled his eyes and went back to the shuttle to get his tools. Mon and Imra then followed Tressic and Maklii to the settlement.
Inside the shuttle, Eltro discovered a miner boy in his chair. "The fuck you doing in my chair?" Eltro demanded.
"I didn't touch anything," Q'ell lied.
"Yeah, bullshit," Eltro doubted.
"I just like looking inside the ships that come here," he excused.
"Should have asked," Eltro scolded.
"Better to ask forgiveness than permission," Q'ell said adorably.
"Damn, I can respect that. I live my whole life that way," Eltro said thoughtfully. "What kind of ships have you been inside?"
"I could tell but it's going to cost you," Q'ell bargained.
"What do you want, kid?" Eltro narrowed his eyes at him.
"I want to be a pilot," Q'ell said.
"You tell me what kind of ships you've been in, and I'll take you into space and give you a tour of our ship in orbit," Eltro offered.
"Really? Sweet," Q'ell said excitedly.
Mon and Imra negotiated with Tressic, Maklii, and a woman, E'lis. "We need six power cells to get the pumps up and running," Tressic said.
"Yeah, no," Mon refused.
"Do you have any idea how much manual labor goes into producing a liter of deuterium?" Tressic asked.
"Well, shit, you have eighty thousand liters in your tanks, you're under quota, so I assume one hundred thousand liters a year. That amounts to 273 liters a day, but you also mentioned season, so you must not work all year round due to the extreme heat. Over three months, I'm thinking 1000 liters a day with twelve-hour shifts gives you 83 liters an hour or one liter every forty-five seconds," Mon figured. "Am I somewhere close?"
"Holy shit," Tressic realized.
"So, when you demand six power cells for 200 liters of deuterium, it kind of pisses me off," Mon admitted.
"Our medical stores are running low," E'lis brought up.
"Alright, four power cells, all of your medical stock, and you fix our pumps for 200 liters of deuterium," Tressic bargained. "And you must leave in two days. If the pumps are not fixed within two days, you leave without it. Are we agreed?"
Mon smiled at Tressic's audacity. "Agreed."
Mon, Imra, and Eltro had a chat about the situation. "Their buyer is the Khunds, the same ones every season," Eltro reported.
"Probably marauders, forcing a cheap price out of them. Deuterium is a highly valuable commodity, but these people live in poverty without basic medical supplies," Imra said.
"Sounds like they're in need of liberation," Mon figured.
"Bridge to captain, a Khund vessel approaching," Laurel radioed.
"And that confirms that," Mon said amused.
"We could simply destroy them before they come down to the planet," Eltro advised.
"That could trigger a galactic war between us and the Khunds," Imra warned. Mon and Eltro simply smiled at her. "What I meant to say is that we should keep them alive for enhanced interrogation to determine if there is anyone else we should liberate and/or kill."
"I think she's learning, captain," Eltro said pleased.
"Give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish, he eats for a lifetime. The only thing more Insane than doing something Insane ourselves is to teach others to be Insane for themselves," Mon said.
"Amen," Eltro agreed.
"Captain to bridge, cloak the ship, and stay out of sight," Mon radioed.
The Khunds arrived on the scene. They were large and muscular wearing military armor. They had pointy ears, pink skin, and cybernetic enhancements here and there. Tressic went out to negotiate with them and to inform them they wouldn't reach quota. Imra telepathically listened in on their conversation. "They're pissed that the miners haven't made their quota," she reported. Mon and Eltro passively watched as Tressic and Maklii got their asses kicked by the Khunds and pathetically begged for more time. The Khunds then departed promising to come back in five days.
Mon, Imra, and Eltro had a meeting with Tressic, Maklii, and E'llis after their beatdown. "That was a pretty sorry display there," Mon chided.
"It's not your concern," Tressic said defensively.
"How long has this been going on?" Eltro asked.
"Five seasons. They take all the high-yield deuterium we can extract. Then, we're left with the shitty extraction that gets us through the winter," Maklii explained.
"Have you tried contacting your home world?" Imra asked.
"Too far away," Tressic shot down.
"Any weapons?" Eltro questioned. "I mean, how many of them come?"
"Usually seven," E'llis said.
"You have to be shitting me. You outnumber them ten to one. I mean...what the fuck?" Eltro asked amazed.
"Have you seen a Khund in battle? We stood up to them one time, three seasons ago. They killed five of us, then killed three more to make their point," Tressic said bitterly.
"One of them was his father," E'llis said as she gave her son, Q'ell a hug.
Mon and Eltro were about to make some witty sarcastic shit-talking remarks but then stopped themselves for the boy's sake. "Just take your deuterium and go," Tressic said lamely.
Mon, Imra, and Eltro went back to the shuttle to go back to the Nemo. "I'll be with you later," Eltro said and then went back to Q'ell. "Sorry, I wasn't able to give you that tour," he said apologetically.
"I once saw the Khund ship have canons and torpedoes," Q'ell brought up.
"Most big ships have weapons," Eltro allowed.
"Like Nemo," Q'ell pointed out. "You could have fought the Khunds, beaten them. Why didn't you try?"
"It's not that simple. It's not enough for us to beat the bad guys. We have to teach others how to defend themselves. I promise you that you'll avenge your father's death," Eltro said to him.
On the Nemo, Mon and Imra had a discussion in his quarters. "The deuterium has been stowed. Should we break orbit?" Imra asked hopefully.
"So, is that it?" Mon asked rhetorically.
"Short of killing the Khunds, any action will only make the situation worse," Imra said.
"Killing the Khunds is a certainty. The only uncertainty is who is going to do it," Mon replied.
Mon and Imra returned to the settlement with Ol with them. Trunks filled with plasma rifles were inside. "There's a rifle for every man, woman, and child in these trunks," Ol said to Tressic.
"They tend to drop inside the center of the settlement. A firefight will destroy our homes and valuable mining equipment," Tressic objected.
"We'll have to lure them outside the settlement and into an ambush," Mon said simply.
"The hills have cover positions," Ol said as he eyed a hologram map of the area.
"If you keep your heads down," Tressic agreed.
"We can begin weapon training on location," Imra said.
"We have three days to train them all," Mon said seriously. "Let's get to work."
In the desert wilderness, the miners did some target practice on the stun setting against a floating robot sphere. The Insane officers watched as the miners weren't able to hit it. "Damn, they suck," Ol realized.
Laurel worked with the miners to refine their skills. "Discipline on trigger squeeze, keep your site picture, and shoot in between breaths," she taught them.
Mon turned to Imra. "Teach them self-defense techniques," he ordered.
"Do you really think the battle with the Khunds will be that close?" Imra questioned.
"The Khunds? No," Mon said vaguely.
Imra rolled her eyes and began teaching the miners some Titan martial arts movements.
That night, Q'ell came up to Eltro with a canteen. "Thanks," Eltro said appreciatively.
"I want to help. I can shoot," Q'ell insisted.
"Ol has this rule that you have to be taller than the gun to use it," Eltro denied. "So, take this," he said, handing him a pistol.
"I don't want to hide," Q'ell insisted.
"Taking up a cover position for an ambush isn't hiding," Eltro assured him. "When the Khunds show up, do whatever we tell you to do. If you want to avenge your father, you have to survive the first round."
"Yes, Sir," Q'ell nodded.
On the morning of the battle, Mon went to see Tressic who was cleaning his rifle. "Everyone is in place," Mon informed him. "I hope you guys are ready."
"I just hope everyone survives this," Tressic said morbidly.
"Shit, the Khunds better not live after this," Mon objected. "I've been in some nasty firefights, good times. I'm not here to map star clusters and meet friendly species. I'm here to kick ass. When this battle is over, you'll be fighting us next."
"Wait...what?" Tressic thought he misheard.
"The fleet is on its way to colonize and conquer this planet. Drones will take over the deuterium operations. You will be given a choice to join our Galactic Federation and be assigned to a better world with better jobs. My drones may humor your expertise in mining operations for a while, but your life as a miner is over. Or...you could be exiled from this world and go somewhere else," Mon informed him.
"What would we do?" Tressic asked stunned.
"Whatever you want. You can go to school, change occupations, or sit on your ass. In any case, you and your miners will be taken care of on a world that isn't hot as fuck, doing a job that sucks ass," Mon said.
"This life is all I've ever known," Tressic said uncertainly.
"Yeah, which is why I'm hoping and praying that you'll fight us," Mon said. "We're Insane, a warrior race. We're training you to be a lethal fighting force so that you can give us a good entertaining fight."
"You're worse than the Khunds," Tressic realized.
"Yeah, maybe," Mon allowed. "If you can't adapt to change, give yourself a good death."
The Khunds finally showed up, dropping seven warriors into the town. They soon realized the entire population was gone. Befuddled, they searched the town only to find the Insane. In the scuffle, the Insane beat down the Khunds relatively easily. With all the pumps nearby, the Khunds used melee weapons instead. Their weapons had no effect on the Insane, unable to cut their skin or through their armor. Even Imra got some action as she gave a Khund a good kick. When the Khund retaliated, she telekinetically threw him aside. Unable to deal with the strong opposition, the Khunds retreated out of the settlement and out into the open.
The seven Khund made their way out in the open in front of the surrounding hills. Once they were in range, the miners opened fire with plasma rifles in continuous bursts from the front and side in an L-shaped ambush. The air became thick with several dozen shots per second raining down on the Khunds until they were all dead on the ground.
From the hills, Eltro brought Q'ell out toward the Khund bodies. The Khund leader, severely wounded, fired on them. Eltro blocked the pistol bursts from hitting the boy with his hand. Finally, Q'ell shot and killed the Khund leader, the murderer of his father. "I did it," Q'ell said amazed.
"You sure did," Eltro said pleased. "Now, go back to your people in the hills," Eltro ordered.
Eltro then joined the other Insane as they exited the settlement and took up a position right in the middle of the deuterium mining field. A good hit would ignite the deuterium creating a firestorm around them. Mon stood in front daring the miners to shoot at them. Tressic aimed his rifle at the Insane wondering if they could survive such a hit. If he didn't try to destroy them here, they would lose everything.
Mon motioned for anyone to shoot at them with his two fingers. Tressic finally stood up, threw his rifle on the ground, and walked up to Mon. "Under the terms you have promised us, we surrender to the Galactic Federation," he said to Mon.
Mon lifted his hand creating an energy sphere. He pointed it at Tressic to incinerate him. The miners in the hills watched intently with rifles ready to shoot. "Don't shoot, whatever he does, don't shoot!" Tressic said to his people. "I'm not afraid anymore," he said to Mon.
Mon eyed Tressic. He was sweating with fear and nervousness but willing to face death like a man. Mon lowered his hand, satisfied with what he saw. Mon then teleported himself and his bridge crew back to the Nemo.
On the bridge, Mon was ready for the next step. "Find me that Khund ship," Mon ordered. The Nemo went after the Khund ship as it was departing from orbit. The Nemo fired three torpedoes at the Khund ship as it was preparing to warp. The torpedoes hit the Khund's engines. The Nemo then went passed it and fired hull laser canons causing the Khund ship to break apart.
"Very nice shooting and piloting," Mon complimented his bridge crew.
Several Athena-class destroyers arrived on the scene. Kara appeared on the Nemo visual screen wearing her Supergirl uniform on the bridge of one of the destroyers. "What is your status?" she asked.
"The planet, its deuterium, and its miners are yours," Mon reported.
Author's Notes: Interesting how the Klingons are apparently so badass that the miners and Federation crew had to lure them out into the open into a combustible oil field and the Klingons still did not die. They couldn't have defeated them in urban warfare, could have set up an ambush, couldn't have sniped them, couldn't have just charged them; this was apparently the only way. They could have also sent down a few dozen Federation crew members to make it 20:1 as well but nope. Or maybe destroy the Klingon ship in orbit and starve the Klingons out but nope. And by not killing the Klingons here, the Klingons will just return the next day when the Enterprise leaves. Evil prevails when good is dumb.
The USS Nemo came upon a pre-warp society on its next travels. Mon, Ol, and Laurel did a little recon of the area using facial masks that made them look like the locals. They were largely unnoticed as they did surveillance from a distance while hiking around the mountains. Mon and Ol went down a second time and ended up in a bar. Once they got to their table, Ol searched all around it.
"You find your phone yet?" Mon asked annoyed.
"Nope," Ol said as he continued to search.
"So...how can I help you?" the bartender asked amused as Ol was still under the table near Mon's legs. Ol then popped up, having found nothing.
"Look, he was not trying to suck my dick. He's just looking for his phone he lost," Mon clarified the situation.
"Of course," the bartender allowed. "What can I get you?"
"Your strongest drink," Mon challenged.
"Absolutely. Last time, a woman was with you. She was quite feisty," the bartender recalled.
"You have a good memory," Mon smiled.
"She was difficult to forget," he said wide-eyed.
The bartender then alerted several fascist-looking soldiers of the Insane presence like a total asshole. Mon and Ol went about searching the bar and found the restrooms filled. "Well...shit," Ol sighed.
"Just wait for them to get done," Mon said. The two went back to the bar where several fascist officers stood up to confront them. It soon became an old-fashioned bar fight as Mon and Ol took down the fascist men. More soldiers arrived and then pointed pistols at Mon and Ol. After a decent fight, Mon and Ol surrendered themselves to the fascists and were brought to an interrogation room. There, they were searched revealing a laser pistol, scanning devices, and communicators.
"What kind of weapon is this?" Lt. Pell asked.
"It shoots a laser, intense light that burns and penetrates the body," Mon explained.
"Are you enemy spies?" Lt. Pell asked.
"Yeah," Mon said nonchalantly.
"Contact General Gosis on the eastern perimeter. He'll want to talk to these two," Lt. Pell ordered his men. Mon and Ol then allowed themselves to be taken to a secure facility for further interrogation.
Mon and Ol were brought to a military base. "What do we hope to achieve here? They just took all of our shit," Ol said to Mon inside their cell.
"I don't know," Mon said honestly. "To discover whether they're worthy of being conquered, I suppose. So far, I'm not impressed. These wooden bars are weak as fuck."
"Do we tell them the truth?" Ol asked.
"All of it. See what happens," Mon replied.
Lt. Pell then came by. "Follow me," he ordered.
Mon and Ol were then taken to see General Grosis. "Which of you is in charge?"
"I am," Mon raised his hand.
"The Alliance must be growing desperate if they're recruiting people like you as spies," Gen. Grosis insulted.
"We're not part of the Alliance. We're fucking aliens," Mon revealed. "I'm the captain of a pleasure boat."
"This receiver, what's its frequency, its range?" Gen. Grosis asked.
"No idea. It only works when it's convenient for the plot," Mon admitted.
"This appears to be a computing instrument. How does it work?" Gen. Grosis asked.
"We didn't build it," Mon shrugged.
"I'm going to need more cooperation than that. Officer to officer, you can respect that, can't you? You did enjoy the rally, right? That's why you're here? You visiting the same day as the chancellor. Coincidence? I think not," Gen. Grosis said. "Did you come here to spy on his security arrangement or to assassinate him?"
"We're only here to get wasted as fuck in your bar," Mon rolled his eyes.
"You must think we're a tempting target," Gen. Grosis said skeptically.
"It did cross my mind," Mon admitted.
The soldiers then proceeded to give Mon and Ol a good beating. While it didn't harm them, it did damage their facial masks revealing them as Insane. "A disguise? Are they surgically altered? Have them go to medical for a full examination," Gen. Grosis ordered.
On the bridge of the Nemo, the other Insane officers and Imra considered the situation. "They're here," Laurel pointed out a map of the military base.
"Guard towers, gun placements, nice," Dax smiled.
"We could bust into that place and kill everyone before anyone knew it," Eltro pointed out.
"If they are captured, it is because they want to be. We shouldn't disturb their plans," Imra said.
"Assuming that is their plan and not a test of loyalty," Eltro countered.
"Monitor communications down there and report anything noteworthy about the captain," Imra said to Laurel.
"Right away," Laurel said chipperly.
"You don't really give a shit if the captain is dead or alive," Eltro said accusingly.
"Our interests align. I want him dead and you would not dare to interrupt the captain's fun," Imra said knowingly.
At the military base, Gen. Grosis tried out the laser pistol. Upon firing, it blew up a crate. "Holy shit," he said amazed.
"Some kind of energy pulse," Lt. Pell figured. "May I?"
"Knock yourself out," Gen. Grosis said, handing the pistol to him.
"There appears to be another setting," Lt. Pell said and then fired. The beam blasted the wall out creating a massive hole.
"If the Alliance has these weapons, we're so fucked," Gen. Grosis realized. "Devices under guard at all times," he ordered. Lt. Pell.
"Our prisoners are from another species," the doctor said to Gen. Grosis, handing him some medical files.
"Well...great," Gen. Grosis said pleased.
Mon and Ol were interrogated by Gen. Grosis on their biological differences. "Your deformities are not the result of cosmetic surgery. You have no obvious incisions or scar tissue. You have a redundant renal organ. Your blood has hemoglobin, based on iron, a toxic element. All of this is evidence toward the theory that you're aliens," Gen. Grosis laid it all out.
"Well...no shit. I already told you that," Mon said impatiently.
"We also have a photo of your ship," Gen. Grosis said, showing them a picture of their shuttle. "This was taken by one of our surveillance aircraft. The pilot said it was traveling at very high speed. Can you explain?"
"Atlas-class cargo ship," Mon identified.
"None of the other planets in our solar system are capable of life. Where do you come from?" Gen. Grosis demanded.
"Another star system," Mon said vaguely.
"Our scientists say a craft of this size is unlikely to be from another star system. They suspect a much larger ship is nearby, perhaps orbiting our planet," Gen. Grosis said.
"The so-called mothership is in orbit beyond your detection abilities," Mon said honestly.
"What are your orders? Have you come into contact with the Alliance?" Gen. Grosis demanded.
"Not yet," Mon smirked.
Gen. Grosis ordered his men to rough Mon and Ol up a bit. Mon chuckled at their feeble attempts. "How did you evade our surveillance outposts?" he ordered.
"We have shields that can jam your tracking systems," Mon told him.
"And your alien biology?" Gen. Grosis asked.
"We're enhanced compared to you. Our bodies are practically immune to your conventional weapons, chemical and biological weapons. We are capable of cellular regeneration at high levels. Every time we get hurt and heal, we grow stronger," Ol explained.
"The perfect soldier," Lt. Pell remarked.
"How many are there of you?" Gen. Grosis asked.
"Two on the planet, three on the mothership assuming they're following my instructions to stay put," Mon said.
"And your devices?" Gen. Grosis asked.
"Standard-issue laser pistol," Mon replied.
"This all sounds like bullshit. Take them back," Gen. Grosis ordered his men. Once Mon and Ol were out of the room, Gen. Grosis turned to Lt. Pell. "Do you believe their story?"
"It's...plausible," he said uncertainly.
"We must verify everything they have told us," Gen. Grosis said worriedly. "If the Alliance has this kind of technology, we are so fucked."
"If we were to examine their organs in greater detail, it could reveal their true origins," Lt. Pell suggested.
"Conduct the execution," Gen. Grosis agreed.
On the Nemo, Laurel picked up communications from the planet below. "A General Grosis is informing the chancellor they have two enemy spies and they're going to hang them," Laurel said.
"When?" Imra asked.
"Less than two hours," Laurel said grimly.
"Hanging isn't going to kill either of them. Monitor the area closely in case there are explosions," Imra ordered.
On the planet, Mon and Ol were cuffed and then brought to the gallows to be hung. "We can tell you everything about who we are, our technology, our ships, our weapons. You don't need to do this. You're making a mistake," Mon said to Gen. Grosis.
Gen. Grosis ignored him and then put them both into position. The ropes were placed around their necks and then the lever was pulled. The two went down but were seemingly unaffected by being hung. Mon and Ol smiled at each other and then snapped off the rope above their heads. The soldiers fired projectile pistols and machine guns at them to no effect. The bullets merely bounced off the two of them.
Mon gave Ol the nod. He gave the fascists the middle finger and then suddenly released an explosion of energy that destroyed the entire base. The confiscated weapons and equipment were incinerated in the blast. Gen. Grosis, Lt. Pell, and all their men were destroyed in an instant. When the smoke and dust faded away, Mon and Ol remained in a crater.
"Well, Sir, that was a shitty reception," Ol determined.
"Let's see if the Alliance will treat us any differently," Mon smirked.
On the other side of the planet, Mon and Ol came forth as prisoners. This time the Alliance believed Mon and Ol were spies for the Axis. "Are you spies for the Axis?" a general asked them.
Mon and Ol smiled amused. "Absolutely. We're genetically altered soldiers with prototype weapons and ships. You're way behind in the arms race," Mon lied.
"Indeed, tell us everything you know about the Axis and we'll make your lives very comfortable," the general said to them.
"Where to begin?" Mon grinned.
Author's Notes: Of course, the Prime Directive for the Insane is to fuck with pre-warp cultures. The distinction between warp and pre-warp cultures didn't jive with me. It's easily shown that a pre-warp adult can understand complex operations and a warp child doesn't know anything. All sentient lifeforms probably, maybe, have value. On the other hand, the Saiyan way of conquering planets and selling them to warlords may be a bit too much.