-AN-

Do you think Naruto would attempt to freeze a fart, just to see if he could? I like to think so.

-Story Start-

Jiraiya could admit to himself that for a ninja he was getting up there in age. For most, this was the time to retire, to teach the next generation from relaxation and maybe settle down finally. How could he consider that though? There were so many beautiful women to see, so many lands to explore and ideas to put down on paper. He was old but experienced and crafty, willing to fight dirty against upstarts that thought they could take his place. All that said as he walked along with a happy and carefree Naruto hummed along behind him, he only had one wish.

"I'm getting hammered with Tsunade when we find her. This isn't fair at all. I blame your father." Though he was muttering under his breath, the toad sage was still upset. Naruto was happily bursting the rubber balls with abandon. And only after 3 days! Three kami forsaken days! If the little brat wasn't family he would toss him in a hole somewhere.

Naruto looked up from where he was practicing with regular balloons. Considering all of his chakra control practice up till now, this wasn't turning out to be as hard as the old sage said it would be. Maybe the old man was just getting up there in age and was just forgetful. "What was that pervy sage?"

"Nothing you mind. We're coming up on the next town, there's a huge gambling tournament going on and that's bound to attract Tsunade." Maybe he'd find a book on Uzumaki seals to toss at him, let him ponder over those for the rest of his life.

Losing concentration and popping another balloon, Naruto tossed it and removed another from his bag, "No chance of fighting any crazy ninja huh? I'd rather not have to hunt wild animals to fix Kubikiribocho." While he had thought about making that a regular tactic, it was a little excessive. Using the end of a self repairing blade as a grenade sounded great, until it was time to fix said blade. And while he didn't consider himself a great swordsman, he did at least respect it and Zabuza's memory enough not to just go ham on some animals.

Jiraiya nearly told the kid to go wander through Iwa, there'd be plenty of blood for him there, but stopped himself. Even now the kid was starting to look to much like his father. And after his little bombing, someone was already circulating a new bingo book around with his name already in it. He'd have to keep that info away from the kid before it started going to his head. "You never know, we might get hit with bandits or something along with way." Fat chance of that, no smart bandits took on obvious ninja in fire country. In fact, a lot of them have been rather quiet as of late. Looking at the kid from the corner of his eye, he considered it was probably the explosion boy's fault.

Naruto shrugged and focused on his task, trying to get his best time up to 5 minutes, "Should I make a bunch of clones and go hunting for the old lady?"

"Absolutely not."

"Aw com'on! I'm recovered and making clones is easy for me. Plus it's not combat."

Jiraiya didn't think he'd have to explain it to the kid, but he had to remember that he was just a genin, "Tsunade will feel such a massive chakra use and freak out. She'll bolt and we won't find her again until we hit lightning. No we gotta be stealthy. You get that, stealthy."

"I can do stealthy."

"There's a glass crater not far from Konoha that says otherwise."

Naruto grumbled under his breath that he absolutely could do steathly. He had painted the hokage monument after all, in broad daylight. Everyone seemed to forget that. "Fine fine, no clones. Should I take off my headband?"

Jiraiya nodded, "Yeah, and seal up the giant pig sticker too."

"Hai hai, I'm on it." Taking off his headband and stashing it in a pocket inside his jacket, he then sealed the large sword from his back to a special seal on the inside of his wrist. Smiling at seeing his work paying off, he went back to working with the air filled balloons. He still hadn't popped this one and he was determined to keep it that way. "Hey pervy sage, got a question."

"What up kid?"

"How do you determine your elemental affinity?"

"Oh that? Just need some chakra paper. Why, you curious? Didn't know you even knew about affinities already." Jiraiya was already rifling through his own pockets, sure that he had a scrap of the paper somewhere.

"Yeah well, Kushina's notes mentioned it and some of the other training scrolls brought it up for chakra control exercises. Wanted to get a head start." The old perv did say the rasengan wasn't complete, and what better way to complete something than tune it to a nature? Not that he'd start that until he learned how to throw it however.

"Ah ha!" Pulling a scrap of the paper free, he handed it over to Naruto who stopped his practice to take it, "Just add a little chakra to the paper. It can burn, crinkle, crumble, get wet, and split in two. In order that represents fire, lightning, earth, water, and wind. If you get combinations of results that usually means multiple affinities or possibly a hidden bloodline." Watching Naruto channel a bit of chakra and the paper split, the man nodded, "Wind. A little rare for a leaf nin, but not unheard of."

Naruto nodded while handing the paper back to Jiraiya. If he remembered right he saw some mention of control techniques for wind nature. But he'd have to wait for when he got back to Konoha before starting that. Once again focusing on the ball in his hand he only half paid attention as they finally crested a hill to see the town they were meant to search for the next few days.

Tanzaku Town had a large castle to it's rear while on all sides was surrounded be a high wall. Currently hosting a festival it was a high chance, according to Jiraiya, that Tsunade was here. So after some time and making their way into town, booking a hotel, both set out with today's goal of finding the legendary ninja. For Naruto that meant watching Jiraiya wandering off in the direction of brothels with a grand smile on his face. Deciding that the pervert was going to catch something one day, Naruto went in the opposite direction. Secretly unsealing a balloon, he continued his practice as he walked along. It was a lively place this town and it was nice as far as he was concerned. No one looked at him like he was dirt here. If anything, barely anyone looked at him at all. He was just another kid in a sea of faces, and the true anonymity was refreshing. So he wandered while keeping an eye out, enjoying festival food and even buying a black oni mask for the fun of it. Though eventually his wandering took him along a route that dumped him in front of the castle itself. Apparently a major tourist attraction, but as he walked further and further in, seemed to get more and more empty until he was alone along some back road. He could have took to the rooftops but he didn't see the need. Jiraiya was fooling around, so why shouldn't he? Though his senses picked up someone with chakra, no, two someones coming his way. That couldn't be good. Feigning ignorance while continuing to play with the balloon, he was not prepared for the pale face that walked out from the intersection ahead of him.

"Oh, look what the snake brought me." Orochimaru was all smiles at the moment. Finally given a chance to meet the little pain in his ass.

Anger and hatred threatened to boil over in his chest, but he kept it under tight control. Naruto now knew just how much of a threat a sannin was. And seeing his partner, Naruto was getting the idea that he was in some trouble. Preparing to flare his chakra and damn the mission the boy however paused as Kabuto held up his hands in a surrendering manner.

"Wait Naruto-kun, we just want to….talk. Not fight."

Naruto didn't let the frown leave his face, "You killed the third, I don't have a lot to say to you." It wouldn't take more than a thought to create a hundred clones and start bombing the snake. He may not be able to take him down, but he'd certainly put the hurt on.

Orochimaru nodded with a fake frown on his face, "A necessary evil I'm afraid." Seeing the boy bristle and start to pull chakra, the snake let a thought loose, "After all, I knew the third longer than you. Do you really believe he was as good as he showed you? No my boy, he's done a lot of dark things you haven't even dreamed of."

Pausing the boy did not relax however, "What do ya mean?" The Hokage was the Hokage. He was the pinnacle of what it meant to be a ninja and a leader, meant to lead and protect everyone. It was still his own dream to take that hat one day and follow the example.

Orochimaru sighed, "I don't have much time today, but just a few thoughts for you. First." Orochimaru motioned for Kabuto who removed a book from Orochimaru's robes, avoiding jostling his limp and broken arms, and tossed it to Naruto who caught it in surprise. "How is it that you're apparently the only Uzumaki, but books from the clan are all over the village. The academy, the library, the archives. The forbidden scroll itself is full of Uzumaki works. And two." Here Orochimaru paused to make eye contact with the boy, making sure to not disturb his chakra at all, for fear of making the boy believe he might cast a genjutsu, "Of all the ninja who would have information on your own family, wouldn't that have been Sarutobi? Why would he take that information to the grave? What was he hiding?" Extending his tongue to point at the book Orochimaru grinned, "In there is information that you should have received a long time ago. And I have more. So much more. You don't need to decide anything today, but one day. One day I'll send Kabuto for you, when you're ready to hear the truth." Turning away the man began walking, leaving a confused Naruto's mind in turmoil.

Kabuto smiled though Naruto noticed it never reached his eyes, "It goes without saying you should keep this conversation to yourself, little Maelstrom Bomber." And then they were gone, and Naruto was looking down at the book thrown to him. Flipping through it, it was a book on seals he had never seen before full of diagrams and formulas he couldn't even begin to figure out at the moment. It was what was on the back cover however, less than a few sentences that gripped his heart in a vice.

'To my sochi Naruto. May one day you continue my work, and live a peaceful life.' Signed, Kushina Uzumaki.

-b-

Mask now down and around his neck, reading through his mother's book slowly, Naruto hadn't put it down since he had read the small note to him. He had considered that it was a fake, but discarded that almost right away. The notes were written exactly the same as all of her previous scrolls and books, down to the handwriting and the little repeating terms she used. Of course there was the obvious that the snake bastard was using or wanted to use him for something. But apparently there was a chance that everyone was doing that lately. How many people knew about his parents already? If he thought about It, it was hard to imagine Jiji, the Hokage, didn't know. But what about Kakashi-sensei? Jiraiya? If they knew, why wouldn't they tell him? Why keep him in the dark?

Now wasn't the time to spiral in a circle chasing answers he wouldn't get. For now he'd focus on the book and train. Get Tsunade to help back at the village, and then he'd get some answers. Idly he noted his teacher walking out of a bar, "Hey pervy-sage, any luck?" While he did his best to keep his tone even, it still didn't have the same energy as earlier.

Jiraiya scrubbed his hair, "Nah kid. We'll just have to pick up again tomorrow."

Naruto almost nodded as he finally looked up and looked around the street they were on, not realizing he had made it back closer to the town center. And there, off to their left was a blonde head of hair, "That her?" Pointing, Jiraiya turned and promptly slapped his face.

"Of all the devil's luck. Remind me to take you gambling one day kid." Seeing the kid shrug with an unreadable expression, Jiraiya led the way into the next little restaurant with a grin. It was walking up to a table containing a pair of women that Naruto thought that the old man didn't do her justice. Under genjutsu or not, the woman was a looker.

"Well look at this, I'm just running into all kinds of old friends today." Tsunade's mood was already sour. Sure she had won a lot today, but that was part of the problem. Winning a lot meant bad things. Bad things she'd rather avoid. "And who's the brat? You finally get some whore knocked up?"

Naruto scoffed and sat at the bar across from the table, "If this old perv was related to me I'd probably blow myself up." Going back to his book, he determined to tune himself out of this conversation. They found the old bag so now it was Jiraiya's job.

Muttering about disrespectful apprentices, Jiraiya sidled into the booth across from his old teammate, "You're looking lovely as ever Tsunade-hime."

"Cut the shit, what d'ya want?" Working on her second bottle of sake, she wasn't in the mood for the old pervert today.

Dropping the act and focusing on her, Jiraiya nodded, "I'm sure you've heard, about the third?" At the woman's nod he continued. "Well the council has given us the mission to bring you back. The Hokage position is empty, and you've been nominated. You're being recalled Tsunade."

Leaning back with a frown, a nervous Shizune looking between the two legendary ninja, Tsunade eventually shook her head, "So Orochimaru was telling the truth then. The old goat finally bought it." Taking a drink the unlucky gambler shook her head, "Don't want it. You can have it."

Jiraiya reached over and took her bottle, taking a drink himself, "You know I can't do it. Don't have the clout or respect that you do. Plus think of the good you can do. You could finally get the medical core up and running. Change squad compositions around, maybe reign in the council?"

Waving a hand to knock his words away the grumpy and slightly intoxicated woman denied him, "There's no worth in being the hokage, the hat only leads to death. You'd have to be an idiot to wanna do it."

"Says the old wash out spending her days getting drunk and gambling her money away." Naruto had tried to tune her out, but while he was rethinking things, he still respected the hat and the position. And to hear her disrespect it was pissing him off. "Bet the real issue is you don't deserve the honor."

"You wanna start something you little shit?"

"Like you're any threat. Bet you can't even perform well enough as a ninja to fight."

"I'll have you know my performance is just fine!"

"Says the drunk baa-san."

Eye wide and tossing off a now panicking Shizune, Tsunade had a leg up on the table, "Let's go! Outside! I'll put you down with one finger!"

Slapping his book closed and sealing it in his jacket, the boy turned mismatched eyes to the older woman, "Sure sure, but when I win you're gonna take back what you said."

Slapping a hand over his face, Jiraiya gave an exasperated look to his teammate, "You really gonna let a squirt like him goad you like this?"

"Shut up, my honor has been questioned." Tsunade was already over the table and following after the other blonde.

Shizune was trying to calm her mentor, "Tsunade-sama, perhaps this is a bad idea, like a really bad idea!" Jiraiya placed a hand on her shoulder as they left the bar, "Jiraiya-sama, control your apprentice!"

"Outta my hands. They're both hot heads who don't listen."

Tsunade was rolling a shoulder and working out a kink as she made her way to the center of the street, "One finger is all I'm going to use on you boy. After you lose, you and the pervert are gonna leave me alone."

Naruto had his hands in his pockets with a frown on his face, toy mask up and grinning for him. He had a million questions now, but only one way to get any of them answered it seemed, "Uh huh. When I win you're coming with us, and I've got some questions for you."

Tsunade laughed, "Win? Win! I'll tell you what, if you win against me I'll do anything you want." She may have had a bit to drink, but she wasn't going to lose to some wet behind the ears genin.

Grinning, Naruto nodded, "Deal." And then he exploded, spewing smoke everywhere.

Tsunade blinked, did the kid just,"Wha-" A foot connected with her side, launching her into the nearby wall. Reacting a second sooner this time, a hand came around to grab the next foot searching for her neck. "Gotcha!"

"That's more than a finger!" And then the clone exploded, flinging the older woman away. She rolled once when she hit the ground before coming to her feet and sliding to a stop. Three clones almost immediately appeared in front of her, hands outstretched.

"You're underestimating me brat!" Her fist came down, breaking the street and opening a deep fissure. All three clones dispelled, but she noticed a second to late the completion of a shunshin behind her, "Shi-"

Hand outstretched with a wrist full of exploding seals already primed, the clone had a fanatic grin on it's face, "Boom bitch!" another explosion, another tossed sannin.

Naruto himself was touching down on the opposite side of the street, "You know, I'm two outta three for tossing sannin on their asses." Looking over at Jiraiya, the blonde boy smiled, "I'll make it three for three one day."

Tsunade was already up and ready to launch into a full assault. The little shit had some talent after all. "That's rich brat. Allow me to show you why I'm a legendary ninja!" Wow the night air was getting chilly.

Naruto however only smirked as he waved a green jacket in a free hand over his shoulder, "I don't know, I'm kinda liking this new jacket of mine. I'd hate to ruin it."

Pausing Tsunade blinked once, twice, three times. Was that her jacket? Why was Jiraiya panting and taking notes in that god awful book of his? Tsunade looked down and noticed that all of the explosions and being tossed around had given the girls a chance to come out and play. Huh. "You LITTLE SHIT!" Fixing her shirt, she held out a hand for her jacket, blush heavy on her face.

Naruto bounced from side to side, "Uh uh, You said if I win you'd do anything. And I'm pretty sure forcing you to fight harder than you thought and stealing from you could count as a win." Naruto however had to switch with a clone as the woman simply blurred,

"Die you little pervert!" Again somehow missing the seals, Tsunade was tossed away.

Surrounding the area with clones and seating himself next to his mentor and Shizune, Naruto shrugged, "Alright, I've worked off my steam, you wanna calm her down now?" Idly he pulled his mask down around his neck.

Jiraiya had his very talented student by the shoulders, "My boy, you've done me a great service today. I can't thank you enough." It was a memory he would happily die with in his heart.

Worrying over her mentor being exploded and tossed from one side of the street to the other, the young woman among them frowned, "This isn't very nice Jiraiya-sama!"

Jiraiya sighed, "She's the one who lost her temper." Watching however as the woman was trying and failing to fight the clones, the old pervert did eventually nod, "Alright Naruto, call em off. And give me that jacket."

"Fiiine." Handing it over, the boy too was going to keep that particular memory in his heart for a while. He wondered if Hinata-chan would ever get that big?

Seeing all of the clones dispel, the angry older woman turned to exact her vengeance on the little shit stain that had embarrassed her. Only to have her jacket tossed in her face. Donning it and looking at her teammate, she was still seeing red, "I should smash you into the ground."

Jiraiya nodded, "If you were more sober you probably could. But for now let's sit, talk, and figure things out." Turning back to the boy with them, Jiraiya shooed him off, "I've got this. Head back to the room and rest that head of yours." Seeing the boy shrug and hop off into the distance. Jiraiya turned back to the woman, "Com'on, let's have a real drink, my treat."

Frowning but agreeing Tsunade walked along behind the man, "Jiraiya?" She had one final thought to get of her considerable chest.

"Yeah Tsunade-hime?"

"There's still the viewing fee!" The fist the rocketed into the back of his head slammed him into the ground. He wasn't upset over it though. The view was completely worth it.

-b-

Naruto however did not go back to the room right away. Instead finding an empty lot to sit quietly and read his mother's book. Now that he had taken some time to go through it slowly it was really starting to get his interest. Time space seals, teleportation, time dilation, time compression, space compression. More and more it seemed like the Uzumaki overall only worked on the more esoteric abilities of seals. And while some ideas would have to wait, like if he could trap someone inside an explosion, the space compression seemed interesting. He had just scratched the surface of it with what he had dubbed the Glass bomb. And according to some of the theories in this book, matter could be reduced and compressed even further. Not willing to even attempt to do the math on how much that would amplify the already lethal explosive seal, he was so going to give it a try soon. Not that he'd have a target.

'You could always try that village of yours.' Oh great, his tenant decided to pipe up.

'And why would I do that? That's my home.' While the fox had been good on his word, and Naruto his, he still did not trust the fox not to try and trick him.

'Brat, there's no point in attempting to trick you. Escaping the seal would kill you, and thus kill me. Our souls are linked, bound together till death.' And even then, the aged mass of chakra wasn't even sure he'd be free even then.

'Right right, the only reason you agreed to help me at all. Well anyway, why would I destroy my village?'

'I mean, that village has been the reason behind your current life. The loneliness, the fear, your lack of knowledge concerning all things your clan. Plenty of reasons to choose from to wipe them off the map if you ask me.' The Kyuubi was remembering his former container, before she tightened the seal on him after he tried to open her own eyes to the truth. Bleh, humans and their slave tools. Unworthy.

'Just cause some people sucked doesn't mean everyone sucked.' Which was true. Recently he had connected with plenty of good people. His team, some of the other rookies, Hinata and Ino both were near the top of the list.

'Ah but what about those that lied to you? Your Hokage? All of the other adults in power? I'm sure that sensei of yours has some questions to answer.'

The Kyuubi hitting home on Naruto's current dilemma, the boy steadfastly ignored him, 'I'll be finding things out, and just wait it's not some great conspiracy.' Feeling the link between them breaking for now Naruto himself had to admit that his confidence in those feelings was waning. Now not only had that traitor brought it up, but now the fox? Shaking his head and slapping his face, the boy got back to work, etching half thought of seals into the dirt with a stick while reading through the book. Maybe something considered simple to his mother? A skill that allowed him to imprint seals on a surface. That'd come in handy in the future. Being able to leave behind exploding seals with just a touch. Yes yes. Let's go with that. Distracting himself with work and ideas, the confused Uzumaki spent the rest of the afternoon and evening outside with himself. Eventually when mentally he couldn't do it anymore, he dragged himself to their shared room to pass out and continue again the next day. The pervert was asleep and snoring loudly and he almost wanted to kick him awake, but he decided that took energy he didn't have. In the morning after getting an assurance that they would be there for a few days and he should relax, Naruto waved the older man off and went back to training. Attempting to apply his knowledge to his newest idea.

But by noon and only slight progress, Naruto was interrupted by Tsunade's assistant Shizune, carrying a pet pig. "Excuse me, Naruto-kun? Can we talk?"

Pausing and looking up from the scroll he had been working on, he nodded and leaned back to give the older woman his full attention, "Sure thing Shizune-san, what's up?"

Shizune stepped forward so she could sit across from the boy. She let TonTon down to let her wander freely while they talked, "I, wanted to clear some things up with Tsunade-sama. She…well, she really isn't a bad person. Not at heart."

"Uh huh, so she doesn't normally go around picking fights with kids and then flash them?"

Coughing and trying to manage a blush, the girl smiled, "No. But her temper is not the best. She's been through a lot, and, sometimes anything to do with the leaf village is a bit of a trigger for her."

Naruto could understand that somewhat, now having his own secret doubts about things. "Still, to belittle the office of the Hokage? Wasn't her own grandfather a kage too?"

Shizune agreed, "Yes, but Tsunade isn't wrong. Everyone who's taken the office has perished. And, so have many close to her who have sought to claim it." Shizune thought of Dan and Newaki, two of the closest people to her master, and herself. "I'm not saying she's correct, but most of the people she's cared for have died for the village. It's painful for her to think about it. And she's made it clear she never wants to go back."

Naruto tried to consider that. Would he be able to give up everything if his important people were taken from him? Would he come to hate Konoha if Iruka or the Teuchi's perished? What about team 7? Or Hinata-chan or Ino-hime? The longer he thought about it, the more he could see her reasons. "But in the end everyone she lost was striving for what they wanted in life right? They had a goal, just as she did. She could have died and they'd be left behind, and would she want them to forever live in the past?"

Shizune gave a tired sigh, "It's….a conversation we've had before. I don't know if I'll ever get through to her. But, I just wanted to give you an idea of where she was coming from."

Naruto was back to looking through his book, understanding that the older woman was done with him, "It's okay. I'm not holding a grudge, I'd like for her to at least come back and help heal a couple of my friends and my sensei. But if she takes the hat, well, she can keep it warm for me I guess." Naruto wasn't foolish enough to say he could take it now. Of course there was the dark part of him that now had a voice, wondering if he even wanted it at all. That however was going to be ignored and buried under his usual focus on work.

Shizune stood and gathered up her pet, "Don't work yourself to hard, and make sure you eat." From there the woman walked away, off to find her mentor and the gaudy man that was breaking up their routine. This'll be the longest they'll have stayed in one place and it was starting to make her nervous.

Naruto went back to his work, unsealing his sword and looking it over before laying it into his lap and setting to work. This seal was supposed to be simple and contained two parts. A marker, and a summon. One, the marker was going to be placed on his palm while the other, the summon, was going on the handle of the sword. Once finished and ink dry, he stood and tossed the blade at a nearby tree. The blade spun, off balance due to the missing length, and dug it's way into the trunk and stayed there. Channeling chakra into the seal and waiting, with a poof the weapon was back in his hand. Tossing it again, he attempted to summon it back while it was moving. With a poof, it was again in his hand, all momentum gone as well. That he figured was a success for the day, though now he'd have to bake the seal properly into his palm so it didn't rub off over time. He would need to redo the process with some of his blood mixed into the sealing ink, but he could finish it quick and move on. Because with this test he had proven a couple of things at once. First, things could be teleported instantly, and two, things within that space were in fact unchanged. Which meant, the next version of his glass bomb, one that could further compress within itself using rapid teleportation of mass, was a go.

Naruto unsealed a roughly 2 meter by 2 meter sheet of chakra paper and smiled in a way that would have probably had his team trying to steal his ink and brush by force had they been there. But that was okay. They'd meet the big glass bomb. This one was reserved especially for Orochimaru. Sure the old bastard had made a good point, but if there was one thing Naruto wasn't going to do, was run off with that apparent pedophile. First he showed interest in Sasuke and now him? Yeah no thanks.

But Naruto would be making plans to get answers. Either from his sensei, or from the next Hokage who had access to those answers. And if he didn't like them. Well, he was a notorious prankster for a reason.

-AN-

I won't lie, I was, and still am tempted to make this a Orochi takes Naruto story, but I can't put my heart into it. Now, Orochi makes Naruto question everything about himself and the village? Oh that I can do. Cause there is so much to question.