Growing Up
He waved to the crowd from the podium, always wearing that goofy awkward smile that he shares with both of his fathers. Another day saved by the Dragon Warrior. I guess a part of me still wishes I had his position, but the more I come to understand who Po is, the more I realize he fits the position perfectly.
I can't think of someone more suited for the unpredictable demands and trials of such a legendary warrior. While I still feel like I've gone backward in my progress, seeing Po's trials, pains, and struggles makes me see that only he could be the Dragon Warrior.
At least, that's what I often think of when I see him now. Over time, Po has been teaching us more about our potential. It's nice to finally not be burning after training, though the irony of being MADE to be terrible at the Training Hall isn't lost on me. Now I know what Po felt like all those years ago when he created level zero.
But that's not the panda that I see now. Po's been teaching us and the village. He still fights and wins battles over and over, but he never made us feel like we were subordinates. If anything, he's helped us become more secure in ourselves. Even me.
He likes spending time with me. Both training and outside of training. I would be lying if I said I always enjoyed it, but I would also be lying if I said I despised it. At first, I hated it. The numerous interruptions during meditation and constant speaking during lunch and dinner. I am ashamed to say that my anger got the best of me numerous times during that period. He was just so annoying. We were all still trying to get used to him, especially me. He didn't belong here.
But over time, I realized something. Neither did any of us. Admittedly, this Furious Five is the most... different from previous groups. And with my previous mistake in their assembly, it is a marvel we still continue to hold our own. We didn't belong. But we stayed.
And now, especially with Po, I don't think I can imagine a life without him. It became obvious when Lord Shen fired his weapon at him. Just thinking about it makes me feel ill. For three months, whenever I closed my eyes, I saw Po's body leaving, never to return. My stomach churned at the thought to the point I couldn't hold down food in the morning. I never told the others about this.
But Po knew. Somehow, he always knows what is wrong with me. Or at least, he knows what to do. Whenever I woke up from another nightmare, he made a small meal for me and sat by my side. Even when he could ask all the questions in the world, he never said anything. He just sat there with me. Sometimes I would tell him bits and pieces. Other times the internal pain was too much. But he would listen.
I never really had someone to listen to me like this. Not since Master Shifu...
After defeating Kai, Po started to mean something... different to me. Something that's hard to talk about, even now.
And he's... changed.
He takes charge of battles and makes every effort to make sure that everyone's safe and secure. He's still impulsive, but it's the kind of impulsivity that's heavily tempered. By what, I don't know, but it makes me worried. He still talks incessantly about Kung Fu stories and adventures, but it's mostly to children and the people he's teaching. I keep finding myself eavesdropping on those stories.
Sadly, he doesn't tell them to us anymore.
Po became more distant as his duties as Dragon Warrior became more demanding. He surprisingly still had time for us. I could always find him at my side to hear my issues.
But as time went on, his attitude change. His voice became fainter around the Jade Palace. At times, I wondered if he was still around or on some other mission. His duties took him on longer and longer journeys. Even when we accompanied him, we could find him sitting by himself with an aura of depression and worry. We'd asked what was wrong. "The bandits. Just a little worried about if we can do this. Nothing much. Just a little... focused on the mission." Those were his usual answers.
It was... scary. I never believed he was lying, but it felt like there was something more. Something that he wasn't aware of. I often thought of keeping it to myself, telling myself that it was something that he would get Master Shifu's help. Even when I asked him myself, that sad smile always met my eyes.
But it finally came out. One night, he had just finished another attack from the northern tribes. He gingerly walked up the stairs and collapsed into his bed. He slept through the morning gong and the prods of Shifu's staff. We were worried. He was snoring, but he never managed to sleep through all of this. When he finally got up, it was noon. I asked him for his help on something. He rubbed his eyes. "Just a minute. Have to make sure there aren't any urgent duties."
"There aren't."
"You looked for me?" He asked.
"No, but I'm sure that we can take on some of the Dragon Warrior's tasks," I said sternly.
Po blinked at me. "Tigress, this is serious."
"I'm being serious. Please, Po. Just a few minutes of your time?" I asked. Sometimes, I'm not aware that I smile. Viper told me that anytime I want Po to do something or open up, I usually have this gentle way of doing it. A smile, apparently, comes onto my face as I speak in a gentle tone.
While I'm aware of my tone, I'm not aware of my smile. In either case, Po granted an audience with me. We walked over to the Peach Tree of Heavenly Wisdom. Po snatched a peach from its branches and leaned on the tree. "Aren't you going to sit down?" I asked.
"I may have to rush into another battle. Always on my toes, you know," He smiled.
I didn't. Crossing my arms, I sighed, "Po. What's wrong? You've been distant lately and it's only been getting worse."
Po shrugged, "Just have a lot on my mind."
"Like what?"
"Dragon Warrior stuff."
"Like what?"
Po looked at me with a raise in his eyebrow. "Why are you asking me?"
"Because it seems like it's taking a heavy toll on you. And just like you've been there for us, I want to be there for you." I saw the panda bite his lip and shut his eyes. "So, what's wrong?"
Po sighed and plopped down to the grass. His back rested against the tree with a far-off stare. My heart pinched. He looked like he was... dying for a moment. Like a soldier on the battlefield breathing their last breath while they stared at the sunset. His face creased in several places like the weight of his stress finally broke out and became visible. It was like he was aging a bit in front of me.
It was heart-wrenching. Seeing someone like Po go through something like this was more than I could bear. Slowly, the panda's lips parted.
"I... I don't want to grow up," Po whispered. I narrowed my eyes and sat down next to him. "I've been trying my best to hide it all, but... being an adult is hard. It's not glamorous and to be perfectly honest, it's exhausting." He ran his hand over his face. "There are so many times I've thought of giving one of you the title and retiring to my dad's noodle shop. I just want a break. But..." He stared at the ground for a moment, gripping some of the grass in his hands. "Growing up seems so scary, Tigress. I know it sounds childish and stupid, but that's what I'm worried about. I'm trying my best to pretend to be an adult and be responsible. But if I'm being honest, I don't want to be all of that all the time. And now that I'm the teacher for you guys, it feels like... I can't be myself around you guys. You've already come to me with problems and issues and that just makes me feel like I'm less of your friend and more of your master. I'm just... lonely."
He gave a great sigh, "My best time is with the kids. Kids are carefree. They don't worry about anything. And I know that it's naive to not worry about anything, but I... just want to be."
"What makes you think that you can't be like that with us?" Tigress asked.
"Hm?"
"I've noticed that you only ever act like your true self around children. You tell them stories, you play around with them, you come up with crazy ideas, and you seem... carefree," I could feel the muscles in my lips turn downward. "But with us you... rarely speak a word."
Po shrugged, "I guess I figured that you guys didn't really like my stories. Or me talking."
"What gave you that idea?"
"I... talk too much?" Po guessed.
"And?"
He looked at me with a confused squint. "Tigress, I'm not that dumb. I know that my stories aren't for everyone. Besides, with the amount of duties and chores I have to do on a daily basis, I just... figured you guys didn't want to be bogged down with my problems." He looked down at the village. "I'm an adult. The Dragon Warrior. I'm supposed to be able to take care of all of this, but... it's a lot. And I don't know if I can do it."
"Can a blacksmith work without the miner?"
He looked at me. "What?"
"Can a blacksmith work without the miner?"
"I mean, if he has some metal, sure."
"And if he doesn't?"
"No?"
"Po," I said softly, "It's okay if you want our help. Please, rely on us just like we rely on you."
"I do, but..." He stopped short. He knew he was lying.
"Po... I'm sorry if we gave you the impression that we don't like your stories. Or that you had to stop being the way you are to be the Dragon Warrior. You know that's not what Master Oogway wanted. What is Kung Fu all about?"
"Being the best you you can be," Po sighed, "That doesn't stop the duties."
"You can always share those duties."
"I'm afraid of doing that."
"Why?"
Po grimaced, "Some of these duties are... a lot. And... after Kai I-"
It all made sense. While I never asked how Po felt during Kai's attack, it made sense that wondering if we were still... the fear and dread that must have played in his mind while he thought the others were gone.
"I just... I don't want you guys to get hurt for something that I can do," Po sighed.
I must have glared at him because he looked at me and nervously smiled. "Uhh... Tigress. You okay? You look-"
"And what makes you think it's okay for YOU to risk your life on us?" I forcefully asked. "We may not be masters of Qi or Dragon Warriors, but we are your friends and we will help you where we can. If that's on the battlefield so be it, if not, we will always offer you a helping hand. Never forget that. Understand?"
"Yes, yes, ma'am," Po quickly smiled. It always surprised me how quickly Po snaps to my 'angry face' as he calls it.
But I had to return to the topic. "Po, you're right that adult life has a lot of changes that aren't enjoyable, but it also comes with a lot of freedom. Yes, we have to be responsible for that freedom, but we can choose what kind of life we want and what we want to work for." I smiled as I rested a hand on his. "You don't have to be strong for us all the time. And you never had to stop being who you are for us to consider you an adult or mature. You'll have your own struggles with having to grow up, but there is hope on the other side. You get to choose what you're life is like," I sighed, "There are things you don't want to do but will have to, like thinking of others, and raising a family if you have one. But with people who care about you and the things you love doing still there, you'll get through it, one day at a time," I could feel my lips widening into a bigger smile. "So cherish, build, learn, and live each and every day.
Po blinked and wiped his eyes free from a small tear. "When did you get so... free-spirited?"
I smirked, "I learned from the great Dragon Warrior." He chuckled. I stood up, offering my hand to him. He took it and got up. We walked down from the tree, and even though Po had eaten some of its fruit, it seemed I was the one who was given the vital sagacity for Po.
The End
A/N: so one thing I've learned from writing first person with Po and Tigress, I don't really like it. I feel as if Tigress would write like this but it's not really that descriptive. It reads like a journal which is good, but it's missing... color. Po is the opposite, but he gets... sidetracked a lot. Depending on which maturity I'm writing him in. But again, this is Fanfiction sooooooo it's whatever. XD The reason why I put this out is to try and fix this alert thing. It's really messing up my progress.
Also I need some help. For the writers out there, do you have your story read to you or do you read it silently in your head? And which one works better for you?