It's My Life
Severus had confessed the truth to Harry, and now the teenager was just sitting a small distance away from the older male in what appeared to be a stunned silence. Severus could explain the adoption thing later on, but everything so far had led to this moment. Severus decided on it the moment Narcissa's words returned to his brain. That Severus loved Harry as a son and there was no shame in admitting it. Now, Severus hadn't spoke of loving Harry like a son, but Harry was smart and probably realized it on his own.
Severus spent the entire time Harry rode the train home in Cokeworth at Spinner's End, just thinking about everything. Severus saw parts of himself in Harry since they'd started this guardian and ward thing back in August before the school year began. The boy really had picked up some of his behavior. Severus now was just waiting to see what Harry would say in response to being told by his potions professor that he was viewed as the man's son.
"You…See me as a son?" Harry questioned.
"I do," Severus gave a simple nod. "The time we've spent together in this arrangement of me having guardianship over you has allowed me to see you outside of being your parents' child. I know you are their son, of course, and I mean entirely that I'm not trying to take their place…" He paused, having wanted to clarify that.
"I never assumed you would do that," Harry replied. "I just…Don't understand how you'd see me like that. But don't take it the wrong way either, I don't mind…I mean Sirius sees me the same way, and Remus sees me as a nephew…It's not like I'm unfamiliar with being seen as something I'm not to someone."
"Believe me, Harry…At first, I didn't even understand it myself." Severus informed.
"When did you? Start seeing me as a son?" Harry asked.
"The first time I comforted you, when you admitted your depression to me. Given how early on things were for us in the situation, I didn't believe you'd be so forthcoming with how you truly felt. And it wasn't so much me giving you that comfort as it was you hugging me afterward." Severus revealed.
"When did you settle with it?" The teenager wondered.
"Christmas, after the second heart to heart we had. When you…Comforted me as I blamed myself for your parents being murdered. It was the Malfoy's who said something first, actually," Severus stated. "They made me understand what it was and I had denied it, at first, until I had that night to myself since you fell asleep at Grimmauld. I kept going over everything and it struck me like a stunner that what I'd been feeling was a parental level of love for you, seeing you as my child." He admitted calmly.
"It's why I've come running for you when there's trouble, or you were hurt. Why I'm always making sure you're alright and even tonight; I've felt for weeks that something was bothering you and couldn't entirely name why I felt that way when you appeared fine." Severus told him.
"Did you figure it out?" Harry questioned.
"Narcissa helped." Severus gave a small smile. "It's a parent's instinct to know when something isn't right with their child."
"Guess you were spot on," Harry agreed. "You always seem to be the one who notices…"
"Notice what? When something is bothering you?" Harry nodded to him. "I do pay attention, Harry."
"I've noticed." Harry giggled a little.
"You don't mind?" Severus asked gently. "This, with me seeing you as a son?"
"No, not at all." Harry replied. "In truth, I think I've started to take after you."
"In what way?" Severus inquired, though he'd already seen how.
"You never give away any emotions when you talk, unless you're angry or annoyed. The calm tone that seems almost sarcastic. Your typical arms folded stance. Your choice of careful words to underhandedly make the person you're talking to feel really stupid and powerless." Harry mentioned. "I've started doing it. Mainly against Dumbledore and Umbridge…I know you've noticed, Sev…You gave me a look that day in the office they tried firing you. You had been trying not to laugh! Admit it."
"I won't lie to you. Yes, I was trying not to laugh at how you expertly handled that whole debacle and I was quite impressed. Proud." Severus told him. "I even said to myself that's my boy." He confessed.
"Let you in on a little secret," Harry paused as Severus motioned for him to continue. "I've kind of been seeing you as a father figure."
"Kind of?" Severus asked.
"I was hesitant to see it fully. Not because I denied how it was, but…I guess I was afraid." Harry looked down a bit.
"Why were you scared of seeing me as a father figure?" Severus wondered lightly.
"I didn't want you to hate me…" Harry mumbled.
"What was that?" Severus pushed.
"I didn't want you to go back to hating me for…Seeing you as something you were not." Harry repeated.
"Harry, I've never hated you. I did take a grudge I had on your father out on you and that was wrong of me. It's my job to educate my students and my hate of your father and his friends hindered me teaching you properly." Severus informed. "You had nothing to fear."
"But I did because I didn't want to ruin the progress we'd made. I didn't want you to feel I was putting you in a place you didn't want to be. I didn't want you to think I was…Trying to make you something you weren't…" Harry confessed.
"I suppose that makes us both pretty foolish then. I worried the same about you," Severus told him. "I feared I'd be overstepping, and didn't want you to think I was trying to be your father. I didn't want to upset you and drive you away." He paused.
"I know who my parents are and nothing can ever take their place. I know Remus and Sirius are like uncles. I know Sirius is my godfather, but he's more of an uncle than a father to me. I love them both the same…But you've been the father-figure to me, Severus. You've come running if there was danger with Dumbledore. You've comforted me every time I was upset and handled any situations that have arisen involving me being hurt." The teen mentioned.
"You take care of me when I'm not feeling the best and you're always checking in to make sure I'm okay. I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to say thanks dad instead of just using sir, professor, or Severus. But I didn't know how you'd feel about it and I didn't want to overreach by asking if I could call you that, or asking if you minded me seeing you like that." Harry explained.
"Well, Harry…I don't mind at all, as long as you're comfortable with it. Again, I don't want you to think I'm trying to replace your actual father. I may not like him very much from the past, but I know the boundaries." Severus stated. "You can call me father or dad if you like." He added.
"I might only use it when it's just us or with the Malfoy's, maybe friends too. We still have to mind the teacher-student thing at school." Harry shrugged.
"Yes, that is true…" Severus agreed. "But there's nothing against the rules about me being a father figure to you when classes are not in session." He needed to bring up the potion to Harry, and this was probably the best time. "Harry, there is another matter I wanted to discuss with you tonight aside feeling like something had bothered you. It's…Along the subject we're currently on about a parental/child relationship."
"Okay, what is it?" Harry inquired. "You seem so nervous; you weren't planning to ask to adopt me or anything, are you?"
"That's…Exactly what I was going to ask," Severus confessed as Harry's eyes widened a little.
"You want to adopt me, as your son?" Harry questioned.
"Yes, but Harry…It's nothing to do with the subject we just went over on how we both see the other. That was entirely a choice made by the two of us to see the other as what we do. The adoption is to ensure Albus can't get to you. I'd still love to adopt you as my son on the basis that we have a parental/child relationship on normal circumstances of making it official out of choice. But…A situation has come up and adoption is the only way to stop Albus's efforts to get guardianship of you." Severus explained.
"What situation?" Harry asked.
"A simple explanation is that Dumbledore has figured out that he does not have guardianship of you right now, and there's an active investigation in place. A few days back, Lucius went to the ministry to talk to Fudge about something involving him allowing Umbridge to use that cursed quill on others. He'd been going as a member to the education board, but when he arrived; Fudge was meeting with Umbridge and Dumbledore." Severus started to tell him what Lucius had informed.
"Cutting out everything in the middle to save time; the problem is Albus, Dolores, and Cornelius are teamed up to make you obedient to them. There is no word or reason as to why they want it, but Lucius mentioned talk of a slavery collar. Though, Fudge shot the idea down." He explained.
"What's that, a slavery collar?" Harry wondered.
"It's around the same lines as the bonds that connect house elves to their masters. How, when bonded to a family, the elf has to follow every order given no matter what. It's exactly as it sounds, Harry; Albus and Dolores wanted to collar you with one so you'd do everything they say. Make you a slave." Severus told him as Harry seemed very uneasy about the thought of that. "You're safe from such because Fudge is the only one with access and he told Albus no, according to Lucius, who's word I trust entirely. We're very old friends, Harry." Severus promised.
"The point is, the three of them are working together to get you under their thumb, doing as they say. Your rings protect you from most potions and spells, which is why Dumbledore is so desperate to get you back in his command. If he becomes your guardian again, Harry, he can legally force you to remove the rings and that leaves you open to compulsion charms and potions, which would compel you to do as you're told much like an imperious would."
"Okay, I understand why this is a problem…What does the adoption have to do with it, though?" Harry pushed.
"Our current arrangement gives me temporary guardianship over you, Harry. If Fudge stops the investigation, or finds a way to alter any of the evidence to clear Dumbledore; he'll be seen as fit and get custody of you back. Beyond that, Harry, I would no longer be able to offer much protection because you'd be under their power." Severus stared. "However, adoption can give me full guardianship over you as a parent. Albus only got custody because your parents are dead, Remus is a werewolf, and Sirius is a felon…For the time being. Lucius is working on clearing him. If I adopt you, Harry, and you become my son legally…Albus can't touch you as I'd be your adoptive father."
"Alright so…Since we're already in the department of seeing each other as father and son, I don't have any reservations about an adoption that interferes with Dumbledore's plans. If you're looking for my permission, you have it. Tell me what I have to sign for consent?" Harry said right away.
"The adoption process you're thinking of is the muggle process, which does apply to wizarding methods…The problem is how long it would take to get that to go through, even with Lucius's pull at the ministry." Severus mentioned. "And that if word does reach Albus what we're doing because he'd obviously work with Fudge to stop it."
"Then…What do we do?" Harry questioned.
Severus pulled out a vial from his robes and held it up to Harry. The liquid inside was a cloudy color as Harry observed it and then looked at Severus. "Do you know what potion this is, Harry?"
"No, sir," Harry replied gently.
"It's an ancient and complicated brew. Takes a lot of focus and odd ingredients to make. This, Harry, is a blood bonding potion. Do you know what that means?" Severus pushed.
"Binds two people via blood?" Harry guessed.
"That's correct," Severus nodded. "Do you know why Dumbledore was so adamant on wanting you to stay with your muggle relatives?"
"Because of some ancient magic that protected me through my mother's sacrifice. Blood wards?" Harry responded.
"This potion falls under the same magic, Harry. Very few people know about blood magic and how it works, but what is known is how powerful and binding it is." Severus informed. "It is forever and unbroken. However, the wards Dumbledore erected were destroyed because you did not call that place your home. You did not consider your mother's sister, nor her son, who carried part of Lily's blood, as your family."
"The wards only held as long as they did because you resigned yourself to that fate. It wasn't until Lucius and Narcissa saved you that you finally allowed yourself to be upfront that it wasn't your home and they were not your family. Blood magic too, has its limits. For it to work, you have to believe in the prospect of what the bonds are created on." The potions master explained.
"I think I'm following?" Harry said, but very unsurely of where the man was going with this.
"This potion would allow me to blood adopt you, Harry. It differs because of what I explained; it creates an instant, and forever unbroken bond between us as family through blood magic. It would not fail because of how we see each other, as father and son. It also doubles unbreakable because this isn't just a ritual magic like Dumbledore used; this links us and makes us blood related, Harry. I would literally become your father, and you, my son." Severus told him firmly.
"It would not erase the parents you were born to, but this would…Add me as a parent to you. A third parent, a second father." He went on. "It may or may not change some of your physical appearance, I believe it depends on how deep the bond forms, but there's no telling. As I said; blood magic is ancient and how things work is unknown. What I do know is that if we take this, Dumbledore can't ever contest to remove you from my care. I would become a living parent, no matter how it became so. No one can fight blood magic, it is absolute."
Harry stared at the potion, letting everything Severus told him sink in fully. Severus wanted to adopt him via blood magic, to make them true father and son. It wasn't just to protect him from Dumbledore, Severus admitted that; he would go through the process to adopt him under normal circumstances. This wasn't normal, and it appeared to be the only option; even if drastic.
"I won't make you, Harry. It has to be your choice…I made mine when I brewed the potion, when Lucius made me aware that I could lose you and it was him who gave me the idea to use blood adoption. I already lost one person I care about, I won't lose another. I lost my best friend, the woman I loved…I don't want to lose the child I see as my own son. I've protected and cared for you all my life, Harry…I'm more than prepared to continue doing so until I die. I've made my choice." Severus revealed.
"Just one question about it?" Harry looked at the man.
"What is it?" Severus invited.
"Does it make me Harry Potter-Snape?" Harry questioned curiously. "Cause that's got a nice ring to it…"
Severus had to smile and laugh a little. "It does indeed, but it would actually be, legally, Potter-Snape-Prince. I'll explain that second name later. It's my mother's side of the family."
"Then I accept," Harry paused.
"All this needs is seven drops of blood from each of us and we drink," Severus revealed.
The man pulled a slim dagger from under his sleeve and held it out to Harry, who took it gently. Severus uncorked the top as Harry pressed the tip of the blade into his pointer finger and broke skin as blood began to seep out. Harry held the potion vial as Severus pricked his finger and then they both held their fingers over the mouth of the bottle and allowed seven drops of their blood to fall into the potion. Severus healed his and Harry's fingers then swirled the vial three times in a clockwise motion as the mixture turned blood red.
Severus pulled an extra bottle from his robes and poured an amount from the first vial into the second so that they'd be even. Severus gave Harry the first vial and they clicked the glass once before both drinking the contents back fully. When the bottles were empty, Severus took his and Harry's from him to set them on the table beside the couch they were sitting on.
"Doesn't feel any different," Harry mentioned. "Does it take effect right away?"
"I believe so. I told you, not much was known about it other than how powerful and unbreakable. The notes on the ingredients say that it's instantaneously formed once drunk." Severus informed. "Either way. It's done now and we're father and son officially. We're linked and no one can ever take it away." He added. "You look tired, go get some rest, Harry." Severus told him.
"You should too," Harry suggested.
"I'll be along to bed soon." Severus assured.
"Okay. Night, Sev," Harry said.
"Goodnight. Rest well," Severus replied. Harry got to his feet to walk upstairs to his room, but as he stood up; he felt lightheaded. Harry pressed the base of his palm to his forehead and shook his head a little bit. "Harry?" He noticed his adoptive son's movements. "Are you alright?"
Harry felt like he was going to faint, and his knees buckled slightly. "D-Dad…So-Something feels…Wr-Wrong…" Harry's eyes rolled back as he started to fall.
"Harry!" Severus reacted instantly to stand up and catch Harry before he hit the ground hard.
Severus shifted to lift the teenager into his arms and gently place him on the couch. However, right before he was going to get his wand to run a diagnostic spell on Harry; Severus began to feel off. Grunting a little, Severus shifted just enough to land on the other couch when he knocked out.