The Codfather A Fat Tony Episode with orange segment teeth, Marlon Brando, Finding Nemo and Shark Tale references,.. Also introducing Fat Tony's son Michael.
Plot
The School bus one morning. Lisa wants to sit down next to Bart but he puts his skateboard over tge spare space.
"Hey!" Lisa whined.
Bart made a face at her.
Lisa seethed and went to bother Otto to make Bart give her a space to sit.
Otto is rocking out to Iron Maiden.
"Otto, Bart won't give me a seat." Lisa whined.
"You know I can deal with your problem or I can rock out. But I cannot do both." said Otto.
(Some sort of loud thrash metal)
"Otto, help me." Lisa whined pulling on his walkman. it fell on the floor and broke.
"Fu-u-u-u... nk." Otto groaned.
"No it's Fuuuu-Mmmmmph!" Oscar tried to swear but Hugo clamped his hands over his mouth.
"What am I hearing now? Nature?" Otto sighed as bird tweeted. No Elon! Not the lawyers!
"Aaaaaagh! Nature! It buuuuuuurns!" Oscar screamed.
Lisa winced at him.
"The ultimate bring-down. Why... was I... born?!" Otto whined.
Lisa sighed. "Sorry Otto."
"Now I'm in a bad mood... Lisa take a seat... Um there's one next to Üter..." Otto was madder than a hornet.
"But..." Lisa stammered.
"Now!" Otto yelled.
Lisa relented and sat next to Üter.
"Zückerbar?" He offered her candy that had been in his mouth.
"Eeeeeew..." Lisa groaned.
Otto ranted and took his rage out ob the bus Ie ripping out the hand break.
"I am not dealing with that all morning..." Oscar frowned. He got out his wand. "Reparo!" He repaired Otto's Walkman radio.
Otto heard loud Thrash metal in his ears again. "Oh sweat Thrash!" He rocked out to the music and sang into the handbrake he ripped out.
Lisa sighed.
Oscar grinned and put his magic wand from Springwarts back in his sweater. He got out his walk an and listened to Together Again by Janet Jackson and singing along.
Hugo winced disturbed by him singing along to very um camp songs.
...
Fat Tony's mansion. Godfather violin music plays.
"Fat Tony, Don Castellaneta owes us dough again! We need to whack him. give him the old cement shoes..." said Louie the high pitched mobster.
"Not today Louie." said Fat Tony chewing a cigar.
Louie gasped. "Why?!"
"Because I need to spend time with my son." said Fat Tony.
"Uh I understand boss." said Louie.
"Good. Because a man who doesn't spend time with his family can never be a real man." said Fat Tony.
Godfather violins play.
"Michael come to Papa!" said Fat Tony. A black haired boy with a nervous expression comes in.
"Yes Papa?" said Micheal.
"Papa loves you a-so much!" Fat Tony got um soppy... He hugged his son.
"And I love you Papa..." said Micheal.
"I think I'm gonna puke..." said Louie.
"Boss about um our Disposal of a certain Frankie..." said Legs.
"Kill him." Fat Tony whispered to him.
"Boss I am a touch deaf in one ear! Speak up please!"
"I CAN'T DISCUSS MY RATHER VIOLENT CAREER IN FRONT OF MY YOUNG BOY! SHAME ON YOU LEGS!" Fat Tony yelled holding his cigar and turning red in the face.
"Sorry Mikey, Papa is very stressed with Uncle Legs right now." said Fat Tony.
Micheal sighed.
"I raised my son in the American fashion; I gave him freedom, but taught him never to dishonour his family." Fat Tony monologued. "Perhaps one day he will meet a girl. Um he's very shy at the moment..."
"Boss your monologging again..." said Louie.
"Yes I know! It's a Godfather reference!" said Fat Tony thumping the desk.
Michael was startled.
"Now let's have a good laugh at my orange segment teeth joke." Fat Tony cut up an orange into segments and cuts sharp triangular "Teeth" into the orange segment.
"Grrrrrr!" He acted silly.
The mobsters and Michael laughed.
...
The School bus.
Otto sighed.
"Iron Maiden isn't rockin' for me today." said Otto.
"I feel the same about Mariah Carey some days..." said Oscar.
Bart winced at him.
"I like her covers of Jackson 5 songs... They make great background music during my Anime when i'm off saving the world etc." said Oscar.
"Don't worry, dude. We'll hook you up with some tunes." said Bart Oscar started singing a silly song...
"Old McDonald had a fart Fart, fart, fart, fart, fart." Oscar chuckled.
"And on his farm he had a fart. Fart, fart, fart, fart, fart." Milhouse joined in.
"That's not a song. Real songs are about deals with the devil, far-off lands, and where you'd find smoke in relation to water." said Otto.
"Coooooool!" said Oscar.
"Old McDonald hat a fart! Fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart!' Milhouse sang.
Oscar made rude sounds.
"Guys your song is lame..." Bart sighed.
"Mister driver? One of my bus mates has purloined my French horn." said Martin.
Kearney had a french horn stuffed up his shirt.
"Why can't you talk like a dude?" Kearney sighed.
"Oh, knock it off, Kearney. Why are you still in this school anyway? We were in third grade together." said Otto.
Everyone laughed at Kearney.
"Stupid school doesn't know how to teach me." Kearney sighed.
"The farts on the bus go round and round..." Oscar and Milhouse sang.
They make fart sounds with their hands on their mouths.
Bart sighed.
"Oh, wow, this is about 90% less funny than you think it is." said Otto.
"This is funny to kids..." said Oscar before continuing to sing lame bus ride songs with the word fart included.
"Oz even I think you're being lame..." Bart sighed.
Oscar pouted and crossed his arms. He wore his usual blue sweater with green triangles, his brown shorts and sneakers. Oh and his Troll Droll hair do held upright with his green goggles.
Bart sighed at the goggle wearing boy.
...
Fat Tony's mansion.
"Fat Tony, We've known each other for sometime..." said a guy.
"Who are you?! No I've never met you before! Louie who is this?!" Fat Tony asked.
"Um I require your assistance to rough up some boys who messed with my daughter." said a guy.
"No. You had justice from the law..." said Fat Tony.
"They gave those brats bail! Bail when they massacred my girl!" said the guy.
"I am a father now. I don't want Wiggum breathing down my neck right now!" said Fat Tony.
"But-" said the guy.
"You ask me on my son's birthday to kill people?!" Fat Tony yelled.
The man gulped. "I'm sorry Fat Tony."
"And I would do you a favour if you invited me round for coffee!" said Fat Tony.
"Okay! Okay! Do you drink latte?" The guy asked.
"No! Just a mug of black breakfast coffee." said Fat Tony.
The man nodded.
"And a cannoli..." said Fat Tony.
"Yes Godfather." said the guy.
"And be my friend..." said Fat Tony. "I uh don't have much of a social life, people are scared of me..l"
They guy gawked at him.
"Now go. Accept legal justice. Take the bitter with the sweet. Just like my coffee..." said Fat Tony.
The man left.
Fat Tony sighed.
"You should really see Dr Hibbert. You yelled a lot the other day and collapsed." said Louie.
"I'm fine..." said Fat Tony.
"But sir..."
"Louie I'm fine!" Fat Tony insisted.
Louie sighed.
"Now I must return to my Son's celebration of his birth. We set up a piñata." said Fat Tony.
They go out to the terrace.
...
The school bus on the way to school.
Oscar was still singing kids nursery songs with the word fart in them...
"Row, row, row your fart gently down the peeeeee..." He sang. He made fart sounds into his palms that were over his mouth.
Bart sighed and rolled his eyes.
"Oz that wasn't even funny when you were singing Old McDonald with fart sounds... grow up!" Nelson yelled.
Oscar pouted.
"Oh, This bus has a working radio! Let's see what stations it has..." said Otto.
Disco was playing. "Disco..."
"Disco Stu wants to boogie too!" said Disco Stu driving past in his saloon car.
"Easy Listening..." Easy Listening played. Unfortunately that's not an amusing music style and there isn't an amusing character stereotype obsessed with that music genre.
"Country and Western." Country and Western played.
"Oh leave that on mister!" said some of the Spuckler children.
"Wait the Spuckler kids don't go to school!" said Bart.
"That's terrible! I will make that part of my nag Skinner agenda!" said Lisa.
Bart rolled his eyes at her.
"Okay the country bumpkin blond boy with buck teeth with the straw hat likes Country and Western..." said Oscar.
"You're goofy looking! Ah-hyuck!" said the yokel boy.
Oscar sighed.
"World Music." said Otto. I assume that's foreign music...
The bus was suddenly full of kids in cultural dress of their many diverse countries...
"Oh God! It's like Model UN day!" said Bart.
"Yer all goofy looking! Ah-hyuck ah-hyuck!" the yokel boy laughed.
Lisa frowned at him.
"Okay this is getting ridiculous Oscar..." said Otto.
Oscar pouted.
Otto was still trying to find a station he liked.
"Urban smooth..."
Hip hop rang out.
"Fo shizzle ma nizzle!" Bart dressed as a rapper yelled.
"Oh Buddha he is in that phase again!" Lisa groaned.
Oscar laughed.
Hugo sighed.
Bart was rapping and singing um Dr Dre songs.
Ralph was daydreaming about the pyromaniac leprechaun.
Plot 2
Fat Tony's Mansion.
"Uh boss..." said Louie.
"Yes Louie...
"Marlon Brando is in your office..." said Louie.
Fat Tony looked baffled which makes a change from his scary sunken eyelid glare.
In his office Marlon Brando, after he got bald and fat was there.
"So you come to Corleone family for a favour..." said Marlon Freakin' Brando!
Fat Tony was baffled by the cameo.
"You crazy coot! I dunno whether to kill you or kiss you..." said Marlon Brando.
"Um..."
"What's a matter with ah-you? Cat got your tongue?" said Marlon Brando.
We cut back to the bus. "Oz stop dragging out the episode with nonsense and Godfather!" Bart whined.
"Shut up! I'm already in a bad mood from this diaper rash!" said Oscar. We're now mentioning the diapers again to piss off Cousin Hank who is a dick and won't let me write Fetish Fan Fics...
Hank seethed.
At home.
Marge sighed.
"Something on your mind?" Graggle asked. Guys seriously! He is not real!
"Oscar is dragging the opening scene out... The kid's are still not at school..." said Marge.
Fat Tony's mansion.
Fat Tony did the orange segment teeth thing again.
"Grrrrrr..."
Louie laughed.
"This time I cut up a tangelo." said Fat Tony. Those citrus fruits Clowns are frightened of...
A Clownja with green spiked wacky, wild anime hair and a shiny round blue nose leapt up in the air and screamed before fleeing.
"Okay..." said Fat Tony.
...
School bus.
Bart accepting they were stuck in some sort of Groundhog Day limbo until Oscar stopped goofing off with everything in the official transcript took to rapping.
"I ain't saying she's no gold digga, but... Wait I really shouldn't say that next line..." said Bart because the song is racist...
"It's not racist id I say that word." said Lewis who is black.
"Uh yes it is. If Dr Martin Luther King Jr was alive today he would be ashamed by young black kids calling each other the N word." said Lisa.
Lewis frowned at her.
Someone please sedate Oscar... He just summoned a Hip hop Hippo..." said Milhouse.
"Word to your momma..." said the hip hop hippo from Grim Adventures...
"Salsa fusion..." Otto was still going through the radio station.
Oscar and Cosmo were in frilly Brazilian carnival outfits meant for women ie they're in drag... while wearing fruit hats and shaking Maracas...
"ENOUGH!" Hugo yelled.
"Actually these costumes are male costumes. Brazilian men are very fruity..." said Cosmo.
Finally Otto found sone hard rock or thrash metal station.
Mettalica? Am I dreaming?!" He sighed relieved. "Am I on drugs?"
"Yes, you are, but that really is Metallica. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm late for a gumdrop parade on Foo-foo Island." said Pimp Dojo Kanojo Cho! Yes Pimp Dojo!
"Oh god yes!" Oscar cheered. "Pimp Dojo!"
Bart wept having a nervous breakdown while still dressed as a rapper.
"Dojo take us to Foo Foo Island! And maybe we can hunt for some Shen Gong Wu! And defeat Jack Spicer for the nine thousandth time..." said Oscar.
"Oz no..." Lisa groaned.
"Don't you have a Magic School bus? Fly there yourself!" said Pimp Dojo.
"No! This isn't the flipping Magic School bus! Now take us away from reality!" Oscar yelled.
Hugo sighed.
Pimp Dojo took them all to Foo Foo Island... Where they had far more fun than boring old school...
"But Metallica..." Otto whined.
...
The School.
"Uh it seems an imaginary cartoon dragon absconded with our school bus full of the main characters to uh Foo Foo Island..." said Skinner to Chalmers.
"For crying out loud Seymour!" Chalmers yelled.
Foo Foo Island. With dancing lollipops and ice creams. The song Sugar, Sugar, Doo Doo was playing constantly.
"Oz take us back home... Now..." Lisa seethed.
"Oz I love truanting... but this place is kinda lame..." said Bart.
"Do we have wacky alternate personalities?" Omi asked.
"You're in a sub chapter as Baby Omi and there are those shiny nosed cartoon squirrels from Grim Adventures..." said Oscar.
Omi gulped. He is scared of squirrels...
Pimp Dojo inhaled from a bong.
On the second bus which arrived on time.
"A couple months before, these two ducks landed in my pool. It was amazing. They're from Canada, and it was mating season. They had some ducklings." said Nataliya or Verosika or Anya or whatever the bitchy dead ferret wearing mean girl stated to her minions who are all cheerleaders.
"Thank Mammon Oscar is not on this bus..." Ace the vampire sighed.
"And then what?" A girl asked Ferret girl.
"I shot them and stuffed my pillows with their down.., Maybe made some slippers too." said the evil dead ferret wearing girl.
Foo Foo Island.
Oscar's cell rang. Marge was on the line. "Hello? Hi Blue haired lady!"
Bart winced.
"Ozzy sweetie, you're adorable but please tell the story properly..." said Marge.
"Okay fine..." said Oscar. He ended the call.
"How do you bend her to your will like that?!" asked Bart.
"Because I'm cuuuuuute..." said Oscar giving him the doe-eyed look...
Bart sighed.
"I will have one coconut shell drink, then I'll tell the story properly..." said Oscar.
Lisa sighed.
...
School bus trip the next morning.
Kids got on the bus.
"Okay after Yesterday... some ground rules... Lisa no whinging, if there's no space next who you prefer to sit by then sit next to Üter, Wendell or Ralph..." said Otto.
No one liked sitting by those three. Üter tried to share candy that had been in his mouth, Wendell just throws up a lot and Ralph picks his nose...
Lisa sighed.
"Bart let your sister sit near you..." said Otto still listing rules.
Bart sighed.
"Oscar no madness or escapes into fantasy..." said Otto.
"Kallae Kistnaaaaaaeeee..." Oscar rasped.
Hugo winced.
"Kearney don't steal Martin's french horn, Martin talk like a dude..." said Otto.
Martin was confused by his order.
"Now quiet. I want to listen to my Thrash metal..." said Otto.
They drive about for some time.
"Punch buggy blue!" Bart punched Milhouse on the arm.
"Punch buggy green!" Milhouse replied.
"Kids quiet!" Otto barked at them. "Oh my! Metallica!"
Metallica's van broke down.
"What's up, Metallica? Need a lift?" Otto asked.
"We don't take rides from strangers." said Lars.
A black truck with no rear windows and flames painted on pulled up. The driver lowered his window.
"Hey kids, wanna ride... I have candy..." said a creepy guy with a five o'clock shadow wearing a trucker hat.
Kirk winced.
"Oscar is that really necessary to the story..." Bart groaned.
"Yes..." said Oscar.
Robert crab walked about.
Lars sighed. "Rob..."
...
"I'm not a stranger I'm your biggest fan! Otto..." said Otto.
"Okay but I really want to see if that shady guy has candy, everyone loves candy..." said Kirk.
"I am the Master of Puppets!" Oscar yelled.
Bart sighed.
"Metallica song..." said Oscar.
Suddenly Moleman pulled up.
"Look it's Moleman!" said Kirk.
"I used to date Lars's Grandmother..." said Moleman.
"Too much info Moleman..." Lars sighed.
"How old are you?!" Oscar yelled at Moleman. He's an anomaly... best not to ask...
Bart decided to hijack the bus.
"Bart no!" Lisa yelled as he got in the driver's seat and put the keys in the ignition. Must not make R Kelly reference...
"My bus!" Otto whined.
Bart drove off with the bus.
On the bus.
"The farts on the bus go-" Oscar sang but Nelson whacked him. "Ow!"
"Thanks Nelson." said Bart.
"Bart take the bus back to Otto now!" Lisa yelled.
"Bart can we go to the mall?" Milhouse asked.
"Sorry but the script says I have to take the bus to school.." said Bart.
Everyone whined.
"I know... I know... Maybe next time I hijack the bus We'll go somewhere nice..." said Bart.
He leaned out the window. "Look! I'm Otto! I'm a hundred years old and I listen to stone age music!"
"He's only in his mid forties... doofus..." Hugo sighed.
Bart drove the bus erratically.
"Oh look! Bart's the omnipotent, supreme master and overlord again!" said Chief Wiggum.
"Uh no... This time we have to pull him over..." said Lou.
Wiggum sighed.
...
School.
Bart parks the bus in a jack knife manoeuvre.
"Ye gods!" Skinner gasped.
"Bye-bye, take care, watch your step, eat my shorts, have a good one." said Bart letting everyone off.
Otto arrived exhausted and pissed off.
"She's all yours, dude. Oh, and I think I ran over a moose." Bart gave him some moose antlers.
Otto grabbed bim and laid him on his lap to smack him.
"This is for every bus driver, lunch lady, gym coach, hall monitor..." Otto spanked art.
"Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!" Bart cried.
"Otto. Are you meting out corporal punishment?!" Skinner gasped.
"Can't... talk... now. I'm spanking a child." said Otto smacking Bart.
Skinner stopped him.
"You are temporarily suspended from bus driving, with pay." said Skinner to Otto.
"No...!" Otto whined.
"Hand in your beaded seat-cover." said Skinner.
Otto sighed and did so.
"And your gun." said Skinner. Otto handed over a Colt Python.
"Coooooool!" said Oscar. "After your suspension can you shoot things like a bird?"
Bart frowned at Oscar.
"Oh and Otto, are you finally wearing your own underwear..." Skinner asked.
"No these are Jerry's..." said Otto pulling up the back rim of the underpants he was wearing that were someone else's.
Skinner sighed.
Plot 3
Simpsons house that afternoon after school.
"He WHAAAAAAT?!" Homer yelled.
"He said it was for every bus driver, Lunch lady and hall monitor!" Bart protested.
"No one! And I mean no one takes away my right to discipline a smart alecky son!" Homer screamed. "Or make fun of my weight or the way I talk..."
Marge glared at Bart.
"Great... I have to car pool tomorrow..." Marge sighed.
"Marge I'm off to demand Otto apologise for spanking Bart." Homer seethed.
"Okay but I don't want it ending in another street brawl like with George Bush Sr..." said Marge.
Bart sighed.
It's continuity!
The carpool the next day.
"I hope you're happy, Bart. Thanks to your hijinks, I have to drive you and your friends to school." Marge told Bart off.
"Let me drive. I go through yellow lights." said Bart.
"One more crack out of you, young man, and I'm showing everyone your baby pictures." Marge threatened him.
"Sorry, sorry, sorry." Bart apologised.
Oscar laughed.
"How comes Oscar didn't get chewed out for taking us to Foo Foo Island..." Bart sighed.
"Because he's cute." said Marge pinching Oscar's cheeks. He didn't like that...
Bart sighed.
Meanwhile Homer bumped into Otto. He shoved him aggressively as if wanting to start a fight.
"Hey!" Otto yelled.
"Apologise for spanking my son!" Homer yelled.
"Not till he apologises for taking my bus for a joy ride!" Otto shouted.
"Apologise you sponge!" Homer yelled.
"Don't call me a sponge! Pig!" Otto yelled.
...
The carpool.
Marge pulled up at Pikeland Ave. Milhouse's house.
"Carpool!" she cooled.
Milhouse arrived carrying a toddler's car seat.
"I brought my own car seat. Look." said Milhouse putting the car seat on a spare area of the car seat between Bart and Lisa.
Bart buried his head in his palms and wept with embarrassment. "Why are we friends?!"
"Hey, Lisa, my safety bar matches your eyes." said Milhouse locking himself into the car seat and pulling down the safety bar.
Lisa rolled her eyes.
"Please kill me now..." Bart wept.
"D'awwwwww! I want a car seat like Milhouse's!" Oscar whined.
"What are you two doing to me?!" Bart cried.
"Sweetie, we'll see after school..." said Marge.
Bart groaned mortified.
They pull up at a ramshackle shack.
"Carpool, Nelson!" said Marge.
"Finally someone cool..." Bart sighed.
"Just a sec, I've got to finish my science project." said Nelson. He threw a rock at a squirrel. It squeaked annoyed at him. "Whoa. "Squirrels don't like rocks."" said Nelson making notes.
Lisa frowned at Nelson.
Nelson got in. "Hey Keanu, Rockin' today?" He greeted Bart.
"I am questioning my companionship with Milhouse..." Bart whined.
Milhouse was sat and buckled up in a toddler car seat with a safety bar swinging his legs about.
Nelson glared at him.
"Dweeb quit embarrassing yourself and everyone who hangs about with you!" Nelson said coldly.
Milhouse sang The Wiggles songs.
Bart growled annoyed.
...
Later.
"Okay, just one more kid to pick up." said Marge, since earlier she had just picked up Sherri and Terri.
Michael arrived. If you had been paying attention, he is Fat Tony's kid.
"Ew, it's Michael. That weird kid who never says anything." said Sherri.
"He's so gross and stupid." said Terri.
Michael got in the trunk with them and Nelson.
"Hi, Michael." said One twin.
"Hi, Michael." said the other.
"Hey, dork, you're sittin' on my shadow." said Nelson as Michael sat on Nelson's shadow. Must be stupid about that later on! Hehehehe!
"Sorry." said Michael.
"What, you're too good to sit in my shadow?" Nelson yelled.
"Aw, I forgot my math book." said Michael.
"No problem, I'll just drive up to your house and get it." said Marge. They drive up to Fat Tony's Mansion. Mafia music plays. Basically like Bob, Tony has his own theme tune...
"Whoa. Your mother must dance at the nicest strip club in town." said Nelson.
Micheal was too scared to correct him about the unfortunate state of Mrs D'Amico.
Fat Tony arrives. Everyone is frozen in fear because uh he is the local mafia don...
"Michael, my son. Here is your book, and never forget: the divisor goes into the dividend." said Fat Tony.
"Yes, Papa." Said Michael.
"That was Fat Tony. Your dad's a mob boss?" Nelson stammered.
Michael nodded.
"Please don't have me whacked. I was just kidding around." Nelson cried. "We were all having fun. Wasn't it fun? Oh, fun is so fun." He hyperventilated and sweated. "There is no Mafia..." He was a nervous wreck.
Michael sighed. He didn't want people to be frightened of him because of his dad...
"Was that Adolfo Celi?" Oscar asked. Emilio Largo's actor...
Bart face palmed exasperated.
...
School.
Nataliya the bitchy dead ferret wearing girl was going on about some ducks swimming in her pool and then she shot them...
"There is no Mafia... There is no Mafia..." Nelson stammered.
"There is no Mafia, only Zuul!" said Oscar with glee.
Bart face palmed frustrated.
"Columbus Day is better than Christmas." said some kid.
"No it's not! You don't get presents on Columbus Day!" Oscar yelled.
The um girl who said about Columbus Day sighed exasperated.
Michael D'Amico arrived.
"He's Fat Tony's son!" Richard, Bart's grey haired friend gasped.
"His daddy putted bullets in my daddy. My daddy had to potty in a bag." said Ralph worried.
Bart winced.
Willie was cleaning up puke.
"Genetically engineered puke..." said Oscar.
"No. Just ordinary puke.." Bart sighed.
Wille grumbled about his job about cleaning up puke. Suddenly he saw Michael.
"Ah! Fat Tony's lad!" Willie laid across the puke.
Michael shrugged and walked across Willie.
Lisa was heading to musical instrument recitals with Oscar. She noticed Michael, the new character for this 'episode' was heading there too while carrying a clarinet.
"He must be musically gifted. Everyone is terrified of him because of his father though, Poor Michael.." Lisa sighed. "Oz... Oscar!"
"What?!" Oscar yelled pulled out of his daydream.
"Are you even listening to me monologue?!" Lisa whined.
"I was daydreaming about hyper-intelligent Space Hams and I'd like to get back to that!" Oscar snapped.
Lisa sighed.
They go to class. Unfortunately Mr Largo was still the recital teacher.
He sharply explained today's symphony to be practiced.
The kids all play their instruments. Some one is playing off key and sounding awful...
"Oh, stop, stop! Who's the out-of-tune idiot on third clarinet?" Mr Largo yelled tapping his conductor baton.
"That's me." said Michael D'Amico nervously,
Largo yelped as if he sat on a pin. "I p- you didn't let me finish! I... from now on you're not third clarinet, you're first everything!" Largo apologised sincerely and graciously, because "Oh crap! It's Fat Tony's son!" etc...
"But I'm first clarinet!" Squidward whined.
Lisa winced.
"Now you're nothing! Pant-less squid man! Seriously! wear some pants!" Largo added as he fled.
"Now if you excuse me, I'm brewing tea and I have to go jiggle my bags!" The harsh music recital teacher added as he left in a hurry.
Lisa shrugged.
"I have to brew tea too. Awright Guv'nor?" Oscar laughed getting out his fancy tea set.
Lisa sighed bemused.
...
Lunch. Lisa sat opposite Michael. Everyone gasped.
"You're sitting with me?" Michael asked.
"I'm not afraid of you." said Lisa.
"Well, you shouldn't be. I'm not like my dad." said Michael, Fat Tony's son.
"I understand. I'm not like my dad either." said Lisa holding up a newspaper. Homer was the subject of the front page article. He ran onto the football field or Baseball arena with his pants down again... The title read "Idiot ruins Isotopes Game."
"Oh." said Michael.
Lisa tried her macaroni and cheese. "Ow!" but hurt her tooth biting something hard.
"There's a triple-A battery in my macaroni and cheese!" Lisa groaned. She held a battery.
"It counts as a vegetable." said Lunch Lady Doris.
"Yoink! I needed a fresh battery for my Gameboy!" Oscar took the battery Lisa chewed and put it into his Gameboy. The screen glowed and he played a video game.
"I can't eat this." Lisa pushed her food away.
"You know, I cook a little. Maybe I can make you something." said Michael. "All we need is some fresh ingredients."
"Well, you're not going to find any here." said Lisa.
Lunch Lady Doris slammed a huge tin of very, very old beans on the kitchen work top. She opened it with a can opener. Suddenly the Ark of the Covenant ghosts flew out!
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, get in the bowl." said Lunch lady Doris to the wailing ghosts.
Oscar looked at the ghosts in horror.
(The Wrath of the Ark music plays from Raiders of the Lost Ark.)
A ghost goes from beautiful to monstrous and roars.
Milhouse screamed.
Bart winced.
"Shut your eyes Lisa! Don't look at it!" Oscar yelled shutting his eyes.
Lisa rolled her eyes with exasperation but eventually shut them tight.
The ghosts merged into a huge holy ball of fire as everyone screamed.
"Ye gods!" Skinner cried.
"Oz..." Lisa groaned irked by the nonsense...
"KEEP YOUR EYES SHUT!" Oscar yelled over the screaming.
Streams of plasma shot out of the fire ball as the ghosts flew about. The plasma streams struck each kid who dared not to avert their eyes and fried them where they sat.
Milhouse's face melted off in a gory, bloody manner like Toht's.
Bart winced in disgust.
Richard screamed and his head exploded.
"Seriously?!" Lisa winced.
"Lisa shut your eyes!" Oscar yelled.
...
Outside.
"Okay that was weird..." said Lisa.
"Yeah and most of the main characters died..." said Oscar.
"Was the Raiders of the Lost Ark guff necessary..." Lisa sighed.
"Yes..." said Oscar.
Lisa sighed.
Michael gathered fresh herbs and fruit etc.
"Dandelion greens, a sprig of wildill, fresh blackberry juice for dressing." said Michael making a salad for Lisa. She tried it.
"It's delicious!" said Lisa eating.
"Are you just saying that 'cause you're afraid of my dad?" Michael sighed.
"No, it's great! Ooh! Except for the bee!" said Lisa spitting out a live bee. It buzzed and flew away.
Oscar laughed.
"It's good to see you laughing!" said Micheal.
"You could make a great chef someday." said Lisa.
"You could make a great typist some day! Wahoo!" said a floating Mario head...
Lisa glared.
"Okay fine I'll end the episode..." said Oscar.
To be continued!