Chapter Three
Already Gone

I felt like I was driving the rental car through wet sand as I headed towards the other side of town at a slower pace than I liked. A million thoughts went through my mind at once but only one seemed to be present in the front; Tommy was dead. I was indeed driving towards his funeral right now. I blinked back tears that I didn't allow to slip out yet. I wasn't going to dissolve into a mess until I knew for sure. The neighbor could have been mistaken. Or there again could have been a reasonable explanation for all of this. I wasn't going to let myself jump to the idea yet. Not until I had some solid proof. I pushed aside the thoughts of Tommy laying in a coffin with his loved ones around him. Instead, I gripped the steering wheel and imagined myself getting a grip for once in my life. It was all I had at this moment and I needed to make sure that I wasn't going to break apart at any moment.

I made a right hand turn onto Maple Ave and saw that there were cars and trucks lined up on both sides of the road as well as filling the parking lot. I found one about half way down the block and parked, hopping out of the car before it had even stopped moving all the way almost. I pocketed the keys into the front of the hoodie I was wearing and jogged up the sidewalk. The church stood tall above the street, its black shingled steeple looking out towards the other side of Angel Grove. It was a popular church when I was a kid, one I had attended several events at during my time in school. My mother even married her second husband here before they headed off to France in a quick ceremony to ensure that I could attend and that she'd be able to come and go from France as she pleased. It was white in color with black accents, a large sign in the front lawn. I saw people were lined up in front of the First Baptist Church of Angel Grove, slowly filling inside. They were dressed in black dresses and suits, signifying to me that they weren't here on a Tuesday morning for a joyous occasion. As I ran into the parking lot, I looked around for anyone I recognized. When my eyes went to the far right side of the parking lot, I saw a small group of people standing off to the side. I instantly recognized Trini standing there, dressed in a black dress and sweater.

"Trini!" I called out, running towards her. She turned her head, her eyes widening in surprise when she saw me. Her long black hair was braided down her back and I saw that behind her, Jason and Billy were standing there. They were both dressed in black suits with white shirts. The sound of my sneakers hitting the asphalt echoed as I ran towards them, skidding to a stop practically colliding into her. She held her arms up, catching me before I face planted to the ground. I looked at the three of them in their funeral attire and I felt something inside of my crack. It was true. Tommy really was gone.

"Kimberly? What are you doing here?" Trini asked, helping me keep my balance.

"It can't be true." I panted, shaking my head as I looked at her. "Why wouldn't you tell me? Why didn't you tell me something was wrong?"

"Woah. Slow down." She said, gripping my elbows gently.

"Why didn't you tell me that Tommy died?" I asked, my voice cracking as tears finally slipped from my eyes. "Did you think I wouldn't care? Or that I wouldn't want to know?" I wanted to rant and scream at her. At all of them. Why wouldn't they tell me? Why wouldn't one of them pick up a damn phone and let me know that Tommy was gone?

"Kimmy, Tommy isn't dead." Jason said, stepping towards us. He put a firm hand on my shoulder. "It was Kat."

"What?" I asked, confused. Trini nodded, giving me a sad smile.

"Tommy's alright, physically speaking. Katherine passed away." She explained. A feeling of relief washed over me for a brief moment before the reality of what they were saying to me sunk in. Katherine had died? Is that what the letter had meant then? That Kat was dying?

"Oh my god." I whispered, glancing over at the church. "When I got to their house, I just assumed…" I trailed off.

"What are you even doing in town? I thought your tour starts this week?" Trini asked.

"It does." I moved to grab the letter from my pocket but I stopped. I wasn't sure why but I didn't want to show them the letter I had gotten. What if there was still an active threat that hadn't happened yet? What if it had nothing to do with Kat? "I heard something had happened to Tommy so I came in a few days early to check on him. Why didn't you tell me about Katherine?"

"Tommy requested us not to." Billy stated. "He was concerned about your upcoming contractual agreements and wished not to worry you." Yeah, that sounded like the Tommy I knew.

"What happened?" I asked.

"She had breast cancer." Trini said, releasing my arms. Jason did as well, putting a hand on the small of Trini's back. "It was in remission for a while but when it came back, it progressed to the point where there was nothing they could do anymore. Please don't think we didn't tell you to keep you in the dark. Tommy really just didn't want you to drop everything right before your big break."

"Like this." Jason said, smirking at me.

"I'm only in town until my first show though so I'm not missing anything major. Is he inside?" I asked, gesturing to the church. I needed to ask him about this letter and what he knew about its origins.

"Yeah. We actually have to get going in." Trini said, seeing that most of the people who had been lining up were now almost inside. "Are you coming in?" I moved to walk with them when I noticed what I was wearing. I frowned, looking down at my clothes.

"No. I can't go in there looking like this right now. It's disrespectful." I replied. "Can I meet you guys after?" I asked.

"Yeah. Here." Trini fished in her purse for her keys. When she pulled them out, she slid one key on a ring off and handed it to me. "Head over to our house and find something to change into or make yourself at home. There's a reception at Tommy's house afterwards if you want to meet us there."

"Alright. I can do that. Can you just not tell him about me being here yet though?" I asked. The three nodded.

"I think we'll reserve that surprise for you." Jason said. The three waved before heading towards the front doors of the church. Turning, I headed in the direction of my rental car. I pulled the keys from my pocket and tried to process everything in the last few minutes. Where I was sad Kat had passed away, I was relieved to hear that Tommy was alive. But I have more questions now than I did before.

"Kimberly?" A voice asked, pulling me from my thoughts. I looked up towards the source and saw that I was looking at Amelia Oliver, Tommy's mother. She was on the sidewalk next to my rental, pulling her purse onto her shoulder. Amelia was a taller, slim woman with chestnut brown hair. It had always amazed me that Tommy was adopted because he resembled his adoptive mother so much. The only difference was that she had deep green eyes where he had brown.

"Hi, Mrs. Oliver." I said, giving her a small smile. "I'm sorry to hear about Katherine."

"Thank you, dear. Are you leaving already? The service is about to start." She said, gesturing towards the church.

"Oh. Well, yeah. I'm not really dressed for a funeral. I hadn't been aware of what had happened until I got here today. I hadn't had time to dress appropriately."

"That doesn't matter though. All that matters is you being here and Tommy will understand." She gave me a kind smile that reached her eyes. I had always been jealous of Tommy when it came to his mother. My mother was a wonderful woman but Mrs. Oliver was a Saint in comparison.

"I'm not sure if I can live with everyone staring at me though. It wouldn't be fair to Katherine." It was true. It wasn't just my outfit that concerned me. I'm always getting gawked at now, the price of the career path I'm in. Besides, I was also Tommy's ex-girlfriend. In a town like Angel Grove, that kind of spectacle doesn't go unnoticed.

"Kimberly," Amelia said, stepping towards me. She took my hands in hers. "If I know my son the way I think I do, he's going to need all the support he can get right now even if he's not asking for it. I think he would appreciate seeing you more than anything today." I bit my lip, looking at her hands holding mine. I thought about everything that had happened since I had opened that damn letter; the flight, the paparazzi, the neighbor, thinking he was dead, finding out it had been Kat. I wondered how much of a whirlwind his life had been since Katherine passed. I'm sure everyone has been supporting him right now but I knew Tommy and when it came to emotions like that, he needed space until he was ready to talk to someone.

"Are you sure he'd want me here?" I questioned in a low voice, glancing at her.

"Of course. C'mon. We can even find a place in the back to sneak in where no one will see you, okay?" I nodded, letting her lead me back towards the church.

Ten minutes later, I was perched on a pew next to Amelia and Trini inside of the church. It was packed inside, people lining every seat in the building. I saw that Katherine's family sat mostly on the left side where Tommy's family and all of our friends were sitting on the right side. Amelia had been true to her word, finding a side door into the main room of the chapel where we had slid in to find our seats. We slid in next to Trini, Jason, and Billy who I now saw had found Zack, Rocky, and Aisha. We were about half way back in the church and to my dismay, I saw that several people were still taking notice of me. I heard whispers with my name clearly in them, side glances at the sweatshirt I was wearing. I did my best to keep my eyes focused forward. At the front of the church, there was a beautiful mahogany casket set up with red and pink roses everywhere. There was a large picture of Kat printed out and perched next to the casket, her face smiling out. On the left side of the room, a woman was playing an organ that seemed to hum around the room.

"You okay?" Trini asked. I nodded, shifting in my seat.

"Yeah. I think so." I replied. My eyes skimmed the front of the pews and that's when I finally spotted Tommy. He was sitting about six rows in front of us. I could just make out his side profile from where I sat and I saw he was talking to a teenager who seemed to be about 15. There was another boy next to them as well who was younger, maybe around 12 or 13. He said something to the both of them, smiling a little before turning his focus back up towards the casket.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you for joining us today to celebrate the life of Katherine Hillard." The pastor said, speaking into the microphone that was built into the podium on the stage behind the casket. He was an older man in his sixties with just a thin layer of gray hair on his head. He had a bible open in front of him along with a few sheets of paper that he adjusted. I paused at the mention of Katherine's maiden name. I leaned in to ask Trini but she signaled that she'd tell me about it later. I nodded, going back into my seat. "There's much to say about a life that ends so quickly and the void it leaves behind. It leaves us questioning many things but mostly the whys. Why Katherine? Why so young? Why cancer? Why when she had so much life to live? Those are all common questions I often hear when planning funerals with individuals who are unfortunate enough to be suffering through an illness that leads to a terminal prognosis. Not Katherine though. She told me in our meetings over the last few weeks that most of her questions had been answered about life. She stated that she would never wonder if she could have done more or if she could have done something differently. She knew about finding that inner peace and she accepted it right until the end." I felt tears burn in my eyes and Amelia handed me a tissue from her bag.

"Thank you." I whispered. She nodded, dabbing at her own eyes.

"At this time, we'd like to open the floor to anyone who would like to pay their respects before we move into the funeral services." He bowed his head, stepping back away from the podium. Several of Kat's family members spoke including her father and a cousin who had come all the way from Australia for the event. Aisha's cousin, Tanya, spoke as well, mentioning memories the two had from their time in school together. There were laughs and sniffles as she stepped down. I watched as Tommy stood now, buttoning the button of his suit jack. He headed up the steps towards the podium. He looked nervous, gripping the sides of it in his hands.

"I'm not one for public speaking so I apologize." He said, glancing around the room. "I want to thank everyone who has reached out this past week with well wishes and for everyone who has helped us out. When Kat received the news that there were no other options, we both agreed that we needed to make sure we included everyone we could in her final time here and I hope we did enough. I know she was extremely grateful for everyone who came and saw her, called her, wrote her a letter, or just reached out over the course of the last month or so. It meant a lot to her and it was touching to see her feel so much love over such a span of time. She loved each and everyone of you and our time spent together, though short, has left an impact on my life. Kat had this friendly and caring personality to her that made everyone want to get to know her. She will be deeply missed. Thank you." As Tommy went to step down, his eyes landed on me and our eyes locked for a brief moment. The pastor appeared and broke his hold on me, gesturing to Tommy to take a seat.

The pastor led the rest of the sermon and spoke wonderful things about Katherine. Some music was played that left not a dry eye in the house and then everyone was asked to say their final goodbyes to Katherine. I opted to make my exit at this point, slipping out of the chapel door then and heading outside. As people said their goodbyes, they moved to file out of the building. Some went to their cars where most seemed to just wait and mingled with others in attendance. I noticed some of them noticing me but I ignored it the best I could. Billy joined me a moment later, sitting next to me on the concrete wall that led to the staircase on the side of the building.

"Trini and Jason will be out in a minute." Billy said, leaning on his open palm between us. "Are you alright?"

"I'm okay. It was a lovely service. Katherine was everything they said and more." I replied.

"She was. It's a shame." Sighed, he cleaned his glasses with a cloth he pulled from his vest pocket. "Have you secured lodging while you are here in town?"

"Not yet. My assistant is supposed to help me with that." I replied.

"All the hotels in town are booked due to Kat's family flying in. If you'd like, you are welcome to stay with me." He offered. "I have an open bedroom."

"I wouldn't want to impose on you, Billy."

"You wouldn't be. I offered." He smiled over at me.

"If you don't mind, I'd love to stay with you. I think a familiar face is what I need right about now."

"Affirmative." Jason and Trini emerged from the church then, joining us. Trini dabbed at her eyes, tucking the tissue into her purse as she sat next to me.

"I thought you were leaving." Jason said, holding his hand out to me. I grabbed the key Trini had given me and handed it to him.

"Mrs. Oliver changed my mind for me I guess." I replied. "So…Hillard? Kat went by her maiden name?"

"Well," Trini said, moving her head to the side in a manner that told me she didn't know what to say. "Tommy and Kat weren't exactly married at the end here." I glanced at her, surprised.

"What?" I questioned.

"They got divorced about two weeks before the results came back from her test. He was afraid to kick her out though."

"I can see why. Who can kick out someone going through cancer? I'm sure Tommy wouldn't have done it regardless." In the distance, I watched as Tommy came out of the front door of the church with the same two kids following him. He said something to them and he sniffed, wiping at his face. Now out here in the open and daylight, I could see them better. The younger one was just a little bit shorter with mousy brown hair. The older one was thinner and seemed to be more reserved than the other kid. He was quiet but answered when Tommy said something. "And who are those kids?"

"Which kids?" Trini asked, rooting in her purse for something.

"The ones walking with Tommy. He talked to them a bunch during the service too. Friends of the family?"

"That would be Xander and Ethan." Trini said, fiddling with her phone case. I waited for her to finish but she didn't. I watched as Jason and Billy exchanged glances.

"Alright. And who are they?" I asked, sensing that Trini was avoiding answering the question like the black plague.

"They are Tommy's sons."