Disclaimer: I don't own Helluva Boss!
Title: Grandpappy rights
Summary: Mammon can't help but love Bonbon. Asmodeus can't help but rib him for it.
...
"Oh, oh, oh," Mammon hummed sympathetically, cradling a bawling Bonbon. The sin began to rock her back and forth. "Thatta girl. Yeah, I know. Those new quarter profit margins were the pits, huh?"
Asmodeus snorted into his cup of coffee. It'd been Asmodeus' wish that Mammon never be left alone with their baby, but Fizz had agreed without a second thought. Some of it was about protecting Bonbon- but most of it was just so his boyfriend could spend more time with the sin. "Profits?"
"Oi, I'm trying to relate here," he grumbled. Bonbon let out a big, bold sob, tail flapping uselessly. "Yes, yes, I know. Yer mammy is here. Mammy'll keep you safe."
"Mammy?" he asked, bemused.
"Old word. Irish word. Means she's my newest, shiniest brand baby." Mammon cooed at her, tickling her chin. "There's my brand baby, yes her is. Gonna grow up real big and dominate the clownin' world, aren't you? Gonna be in my pageant every year and destroy the competition, huh? Yes, yew are!"
Ozzie didn't doubt that profit was a good part of it, but Mammon's quick disregard made him more than a little suspicious. "I keep hoping she'll grow outta the clown thing. Get a 'serious' job at my factory."
Mammon looked downright offended. "What the fuck is more serious than clowns? I didn't paint my face on that egg just so it could be mocked by (HONK)s with desk jobs." Bonbon struck out, lightly hitting his face, and Mammon calmed down instantly, rocking her more intently. "Oh, oh, my poor little dollie. Mammy's here. Mammy loves ya."
"What do mammy's even do?" he asked, mostly hoping to get a rise out of him.
"Yer fucking job, apparently," Mammon spat, pushing the baby into his arms. "Go to daddy, lumpkins. Daddy's gonna owe me child support if this keeps up."
Asmodeus tsked and put his coffee on the window ledge. He accepted the newborn with open arms, jangling his head to get her attention. "Look, bonnie-ball, it's shapes!" He made increasingly complicated shadow puppets with his fiery mane. Bonbon dried up slowly but surely, letting out a weak giggle as she tried to snatch them mid-air. "See? That's all you had to do."
"Oh, sure, lemme just conjure fire outta my ass."
"You have webs!" Ozzie reminded him with a little laugh. "So, this is what a mammy does? Mock my tastes, play baby's favorite, and just generally be up my dick?"
"Yer damn right it is!"
"That's called being a grandpa, Mam."
Mammon quieted down and looked away. He worried his hands together nervously. "Don't be talkin' like that, Ozzie. Yew know how it is. A sin can't be havin' kids."
Asmodeus gestured pointedly towards the infant.
"And whose been making sure no one's' been making a fuss, huh? Far as Lucy knows, this is Fizz's baby, and we ain't telling him jack shit otherwise." Mammon smiled a crooked grin and gently reached out to stroke her chin. "Besides. Greed covets what it can't never have. Why should this be any different?"
Author's Note: Another one for my friend! Mammon must always want what he can never have. It's just what Greed is. And he loves Bonbon so, so much, even if he's terrible at showing it.
-Mandaree1