Chapter Eight
Almost
Tommy and I sat, talking about the boys for a little bit longer. I could tell from the look on his face when he talked about them that they weren't just students to him in the beginning. They were his kids. I was happy for him to find a family that he cared so deeply about. I had always known he'd make a good Dad someday, especially from what I had seen from him working with kids when we were just kids ourselves. He had literally saved Ethan and Xander from the foster care system and God only knew what else waited for them depending on what the system determined needed to happen for them to find permanent housing. Tommy himself was adopted, having to deal with the services that came with that when he was a younger kid. It was something he didn't talk about a lot but when he did, I know that it was something that was traumatic for him. Jason had told me a couple of years ago that Tommy had reconnected with a couple of members of his biological family, especially his biological brother. I wondered for a second if that had anything to do with Tommy wanting to make sure that Ethan and Xander stayed together as much as he could make possible since he had been separated from a brother he knew nothing about.
"More coffee?" Tommy asked, holding up the pot. I nodded, sliding my cup closer to him. He filled it up with the warm liquid, topping his off as well. I added cream and sugar, stirring it with the spoon as I had done before. He took a sip of his, looking over at me. "So, tell me all about you! I feel like we've spent the last two days doing nothing but talking about me when we've seen each other. I want to hear about you."
"There's nothing really to talk about." I shrugged, sipping my coffee. He scoffed, shaking his head.
"Nothing to talk about? You're about to head out on one of the most anticipated tours of the country. It's all they've been talking about on the radio for the last three months. I think you have a thing or two going on you might have to touch on." I smirked, leaning into the cushions behind me.
"Well, when you put it that way." I mused, sighing. "Things have been just crazy I guess getting everything all situated with that. I think we are scheduled for over 34 cities now with a break in the middle. I can't remember. I sorta just go until they tell me to fly home for a break."
"What's it like?" He asked. "The performing, traveling, a different city every night. It must be exciting." He leaned forward and for a split second, he looked like a little kid who was asking about something he found extremely interesting. I couldn't think of the last time someone actually found the words I was saying interesting other than just because I was famous.
"It's like this rush. Every time the lights come up on that stage, it's like this part of me wakes up for the first time each time and there's nothing else I've ever felt that's come close to it. Well, maybe morphing. But it's like I have all this electricity running through me at once and that I can take on the world if I needed to. Thousands of people are there to see me, chanting my name and singing my songs that I wrote right along with me. It's exciting and terrifying right at the same time."
"Terrifying?"
"Well, yeah." I laughed. "A crowd is like a wild animal sometimes. You can have it eating out of your hand, having the time of its life. But if you do one tiny thing it doesn't like or if something happens that changes the mood or vibes, it will turn on you in a heartbeat. That can make or break a show and one bad show can ruin the rest of the tour. Word of mouth travels fast. If people hear that a show in Houston is bad, the following shows in Austin, Dallas, and Corpus Christi suddenly have a large number of people who decide not to come because they heard the show wasn't worth it from one bad show. I do my best to make sure that every single person who comes to my shows hears the song that they came to hear, has a memorable experience, and goes home that night with a story to tell so that they will want to come back next time to see if it will be just as good as last time. I don't want them to spend their hard-earned money on something they will regret. It wouldn't be fair to them or myself to put all this work in and half-ass it once I'm on that stage."
"You've never been one to half-ass anything, Kimberly," Tommy said. "You put your entire heart and soul into everything you do. That's the kind of person you are."
"Thank you, Tommy," I replied, doing my best to hide the slight blush that was trying to creep across my face at his compliment. "I try at least. I just don't want to do my fans wrong by any means. I wouldn't even have this opportunity if it wasn't for them so I want to make sure that they have the best experience they can when they come to each show."
"And I'm sure they will. So, when you aren't giving 150% on stage, what else is going on in your life? How's Nashville?"
"It's great! You'd love it, Tommy! You and the boys should come to visit me down there sometime. I have plenty of space. There's so much to see and do. So much history and things to discover. I'd love to have you guys." I offered before I even realized what I was saying. I was having issues getting myself to allow Tristan to move in but here I am offering to let my ex-boyfriend and his two sons just come on over for an extended vacation like it was a bed and breakfast. Maybe I do need to look into finding a therapist.
"I think Ethan would enjoy that. He's really into country music surprisingly. We will have to see how things are when you go on your break maybe. I wouldn't want to impose on you. I know you have so much going on and having two knucklehead teenagers in your space isn't always the easiest way to relax when you're just getting home for the first time in months."
"Well, if a fight breaks out, we can lock them in the pool house," I said. He laughed loudly, setting his coffee cup down on the table between us.
"That's an option I haven't thought of yet." He scratched at his forehead. "I'd have to get a bigger pool to justify a pool house I suppose."
"Nah. I think a garden shed would do nicely as well." I said. Tommy and I both laughed that time. It felt nice to sit here with him, bringing back to a piece of normalcy that I didn't get much of back in Nashville. I really didn't have friends there aside from Shayna. And I couldn't just go have coffee somewhere if I wanted to. There was too much risk of someone seeing me. "This is nice," I said, running a hand through my hair. "Thank you for inviting me, Tommy. I can't think of the last time I actually got to sit down and enjoy some time like this with an old friend. I feel like I've been on overdrive for so long. It's honestly been kind of lonely now that I think of it." I let out a little chuckle. He frowned.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I have the band when I'm on the road but they ride together in their own bus once we head off stage. Then once I'm home, it's just me. Since I'm gone so much, I haven't had the chance to branch out too much to make too many friends back in Nashville. Besides, when I am home, I'm usually gearing up to start recording my next album. By the time I get home at night, I'm too exhausted to even think about venturing out to meet people. The label doesn't like me doing that alone now anyway. I mean, I have my boyfriend but he has his own life." I rambled on.
"I didn't realize you had a boyfriend," Tommy said and I realized that I had just been talking nonsense for a good minute or two.
"Huh?" I asked.
"You just said you had a boyfriend." He replied, smiling. "I didn't realize you had one. That's something the tabloids haven't made public knowledge that I'm aware of at least."
"Oh. Yeah. It's something I've been making sure we keep quiet until I know how serious we are I guess." I stated, suddenly feeling like the sun shining down was fifteen degrees warmer. I adjusted my legs, wishing I could disappear in the seat cushions.
"How long have you been together?" He questioned.
"A year maybe," I said, pulling at an invisible strand of hair on my shirt.
"A year? And you aren't sure how serious you are yet?" Tommy asked, looking skeptical.
"My job doesn't make things easy for me when it comes to dating," I said. "Tristan doesn't get that really." Tommy snorted.
"Tristan?" He questioned.
"What?" I asked, glaring at him. He shook his head, crossing his arms as he leaned back in his seat.
"Nothing. Nothing at all. Just wasn't expecting him to be named Tristan I suppose." He put an almost strained sound of Tristan's name, telling me he didn't quite approve of it even though he didn't say he didn't. Was Tommy jealous?
"Why are you saying his name like that?" I asked.
"I'm not saying it like anything." He replied. "How did you and….Tristan meet?" I could tell it pained him to not continue on with the antic but he didn't, his voice hoarse.
"He's the guitarist for my band. He's been on tour with me for a few years now and we started dating about a year ago."
"Ah," Tommy said.
"Ah, what?" I asked.
"Nothing."
"It was clearly nothing," I remarked, glaring over at him.
"I was just going to say it was kind of typical, that's all." He said, holding his hands up in a defensive manner. I groaned.
"I know and I hate it. It's one of the main reasons I haven't let it leak to anyone that we're together. I do not want anyone to think that our relationship has anything to do with why I made it to where I am or my talent. I want my abilities to prove that I deserve to be on that stage, not who I choose to be with."
"I think that's the right way to do it," Tommy said. "How does he feel about that?"
"That's a whole other long story," I muttered, rolling my eyes.
"I've got nothing but time." He said, reaching over and putting a hand on my knee in a supportive way. "I'm here for you, Kim."
"You were just mocking my boyfriend for his name."
"I didn't say I was perfect. I said I was here for you."
"Yeah, yeah," I said, rolling my eyes. Off in the distance, I heard the sound of a shrill beeping. "Do you hear that?" I asked. Tommy nodded, turning to face the direction it was coming from.
"It sounds like it's coming from the house." He said, slowly standing.
"It's like an alarm," I said, trying to listen closer to hear it better.
"Shit! The scones!" He exclaimed. He jumped over the seat and ran, opening the back door. Smoke came out the doorway and the beeping was louder now, confirming that it was indeed the fire alarm. I grabbed my cell phone before jumping up and running after him, unsure if the fire department would be needed. I ran into the doorway where I found him with oven mitts on pulling out a cookie tray from the oven. What looked like black hockey pucks were on the tray, smoke coming from them. He let the oven door shut with a bump from his hip and he turned it off. Setting the tray down on the stovetop, he swore and looked down at them. "Ethan is going to be let down. He worked hard on them so you could try one when you came over."
"Well, he will need to make me a new batch from scratch when you guys come to stay with me then," I said, grabbing a tea towel from the counter and waving some of the smoke out of the room. Tommy frowned, looking down at the black bakery goods. "It was an honest mistake, Tommy. You can't beat yourself up for it."
"Oh, but I will. The joys of parenthood." He sighed. "His birthday is this weekend and I have no clue how I am going to make it a really good one with everything going on. This isn't going to help."
"How about we get rid of this evidence then?" Reaching over, I grabbed the tray and dumped the burned scones into the garbage next to the stove. They stuck a little but it only took a little bit to pry them loose. They slid off and into the can. "If he asks, you can tell him that I loved them so much that I took them back with me for the ride."
"You don't have to do that," Tommy said, reaching up and hitting the reset button on the fire alarm. The ringing stopped, relieving us of the awful nose. I smiled at him.
"Sure, I do. It's the least I could do for the kid going through all that trouble." Above our heads, I could hear footsteps and a moment later the stairs creaking.
"Shit," Tommy muttered. Quickly, he shoved the cookie sheet into the sink and turned the water on. In the doorway, Ethan appeared.
"What's burning?" He asked.
"I forgot to turn the oven off when I took the scones out and the flour from earlier burned on the bottom of the oven. Nothing a little airing out won't fix." He said, pushing a window open that was above the sink.
"Did you really make those scones from scratch?" I asked, looking at Ethan. He nodded.
"Yes, I did."
"They were delicious. I was just telling Tommy here that I was taking the rest of them with me for the road tomorrow if that's okay with you. My mom lives in France so it reminded me of when I visit her."
"That's why I made them. I read your mom lives there and that you aren't able to see her much. I figured it would make you feel more at home with them here." Ugh, this kid pulled at my heartstrings. I wondered where he had read about my mother.
"That was really sweet of you, Ethan. Thank you." I leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek. The tips of his ears flamed bright red instantly but he smiled.
"You're welcome." He stammered out. "You can take the scones if you want."
"I'm going to take the garbage out. You work on fanning out the kitchen still." Tommy said, handing Ethan the towel I had used earlier. Tommy pulled the bag out of the garbage can that was holding the scones and tied it shut quickly, making sure Ethan didn't see inside of it. He gave me a quick know-it-all wink. "Want a tour of the house quick?"
"Sure," I replied. Ethan sidestepped around me, allowing me to pass by. He started to fan the smoke out the back door while Tommy and I headed further into the house. Once we were out of earshot of Ethan, Tommy looked over his shoulder at me.
"Thank you for that. I think that really made his day."
"I hope so. Are you okay? You were beating yourself up a bit in there. You can't blame yourself for everything going on, Tommy. You can't control life. It just happens like that sometimes."
"I know." He sighed, coming to a stop inside the living room. "Between the funeral, the adoption, and figuring out everything with Kat's care, things had been pretty hectic. There really wasn't a lot of time to plan something big for Ethan's birthday and I feel awful about it. It's bad enough that they've been through so much that I don't want the poor kid to think he doesn't matter because of it. I just don't know what else I can do right now besides the same little party with a cake and the gang like we did last year."
"I'm sure whatever you do, he will appreciate it. He's a good kid and he has you to thank for that, Tommy." Tommy hung his head, scratching the back of it. He looked so defeated and it hurt to see him like this. Tommy was always so confident when we were younger. He needed to be. It was different to see him so unsure of himself as a parent after everything he's done.
"I just wish I had something memorable I could give him." He gave me a small smile. "I'm going to run this out to the can. I'll be right back." I watched as he went out the front door. As the screen door shut, Xander seemed to materialize out of nowhere on my right.
"Hi." He said, surprising me.
"Why, hello there," I said. "I was wondering when I'd be seeing you again."
"I was in my room." He explained. "Did you like the cones my brother was making?" He asked.
"The scones?" I asked.
"Sure. Those things."
"They were delicious," I replied. "Did you help him make them?"
"I tried but he was being a control freak about it because he was making them for you. He started to freak out because I added too much salt to the dough or something so he told me to just stand there and watch. He needs mental help."
"Brothers can be difficult," I said. "But he means well."
"Sure he does." He said, rolling his eyes. I smirked, putting a hand on his shoulder.
"Some day, there's going to come a time where you and your brother are going to be best friends and you will realize that him being mean to you was just him figuring out that you were more durable than he thought you were."
"Yeah, okay." He scoffed. "What are you guys doing down here? I heard the fire alarm."
"There was some burned flour in the oven. Ethan is taking care of that. Your Dad is taking the garbage out and was showing me your house." I explained. Xander's face lit up, small dimples in his cheeks.
"Do you want to see the upstairs?" He asked.
"Okay," I responded, glancing over at the door where Tommy had gone. Should I wait for him? Or would it be okay for me to go with Xander? I didn't think we could get into too much trouble just going up a flight of stairs together. Besides, Tommy would be back in a short minute. Xander bounded up the stairs, taking two at a time. I followed, seeing that the hardwood floors continued up them and up the length of the long hallway at the top of the stairs. Dark wood trimmed the six doorways up here and the walls were painted a light brown color. There was a window at the end of the hall, a white lace curtain hanging over it. Sun was shining through, a slight breeze causing the curtain to billow slightly in the rays.
"This is my room," Xander said, stopping by one of the doors on the left. I could tell it was his room before he even said anything. There were drawings all over it and his name was written in marker with some kind of design on it right in the middle of the door. He beamed with pride though as he opened the door. Inside, I saw the room was painted a royal blue color and there was a tan colored carpet under our feet. In the right-hand corner of the room, there was a bed that was haphazardly made with blue flannel bedding. Next to that, there was a desk with a binder on top of it. The pages were open with some kind of trading cards in the sleeves. Across from the foot of the bed, a dresser stood with a small television and some type of video game system. There was also a hamper set up here and there was a small box of toys that was perched on the top of the dresser. Xander seemed to still be in that odd phase of life where he was too old for toys and that part of childhood but he was still too young to think about getting rid of that stuff.
"Very nice," I said, looking around. On the walls, I spotted that he had various posters but most were of Pokemon characters. "You like Pokemon?" I asked. He nodded.
"Yeah. Uncle Billy helps me collect them. He brings me a new pack each time he comes back from San Diego." Walking over, he sat at the computer desk and flipped through the pages. "I almost have all 500."
"500?" I asked, letting out a low whistle. I bent down, looking over at the brightly colored made-up characters on the cards he was flipping through. "Sounds like an expensive hobby."
"Dad lets me work on stuff at Uncle Billy's to earn money for cards. He's super smart. Uncle Billy is a scientist or something. I want to be like him when I'm older." He said, shutting the book. It made me smile to see that Xander looked up to Billy. I wondered if Billy knew this or not.
"You want to be a scientist too?"
"I want to work for NASA." He said, gesturing behind me. Turning, I saw a poster for a rocket launch on the wall.
"Ah. I think that's a good dream to have and you really have the right person on your side with Billy right there." Xander stood up and I followed suit, following after him. We walked out of his room.
"That's Dad's room." He said, pointing at a door that was diagonal from us. The door was open about halfway but I could only see the corner of the bed and the sunlight. There was another door after that one that was pulled tightly shut. "That was Kat's room," Xander said, almost reading my thoughts it seemed.
"She had her own room?" I asked.
"Yeah. Dad wanted to make sure she had enough space for her and her nurse that came every day." My eyes lingered on the closed door, my thoughts going to Kat and what it was like for her during her last few weeks. I thought about how weird it might have been for her and Tommy to live together after being divorced but then I realized that we didn't really touch on that like I had hoped we would.
"You must miss her," I said, looking at Xander. He nodded.
"She was really nice to me and would try to teach me how to dance. I was sad for her that she got sick again. I felt bad for Dad too. He misses her." He turned his sights onto the door directly across from us. "This is Ethan's room." Reaching over, he turned the door knob with a glint of excitement on his face.
"Maybe we should wait for your brother," I said, gazing up the hall to see if I heard anyone coming.
"He will be fine with it." He said. With the door open, I saw that it was painted a reddish color with a darker grey carpet. There was a desk in the corner of the room, a desktop computer perched on the top of it. Like Xander's room, there was also a dresser in there. Unlike Xander's room, there was no quick attempt to clean up. Instead, there were clothes laying on the floor. To me, the biggest surprise in the whole room was the posters on the wall. On every square inch of the wall, there was a poster of some sort that was taped on the wall somehow. I moved closer, seeing that it was all pictures of country music singers. There was an electric guitar perched on a stand in here as well, a small amp with it in the corner.
"So, are you our aunt?" Xander asked.
"What do you mean?"
"I call all of Dad's friends aunts and uncles…Uncle Billy, Aunt Trini, Uncle Jason, Aunt Aisha, Uncle Rocky, Uncle Adam, and Uncle Zack. Are you my Aunt Kim then?"
"How about you call me whatever you want to call me? You can call me Kim if you want. You call me Aunt Kim if you want. Whatever you want to do."
"I don't think Ethan will," Xander said. I looked at him, confused.
"Why not?"
"He has a crush on you," Xander said, a matter-of-fact tone in his voice. He walked over, poking his nose into the dresser drawers. My eyes landed on a bare spot in the posters and I thought it was odd with everything else so covered. What was missing? And why was it missing?
"I'm sure he doesn't," I said. Xander looked under the bed now, reaching far under there.
"Oh, he does. He really liked you before and he likes you a lot more now. That's why he made the fancy scone things." Xander said. He stood up, something in his hands. I saw it was some kind of handheld game that he turned on. It played a short burst of music, followed by sound effects. "Yes! My save is still here."
"Are we going to pretend that you didn't use giving me a tour of the upstairs as an excuse to break into your brother's room to steal that?" I asked him, putting a hand on my hip. Xander didn't even look up from the game.
"A good spy never reveals their secrets." He said, turning and walking out of the room. I rolled my eyes, following after him. As I went to leave the room. I saw something on the dresser that caught my eye. I didn't want to snoop but I noticed that there were actually posters and photos of me. The poster was one from the first tour I had gone on as the opening act. I was dressed in short denim shorts and a cut-off tank top, something I regretted now as I realized in horror that Tommy's adopted son once had it on his bedroom wall. The other pictures had mostly been from magazines, my face doing its best to look inviting and sexy as the photographer had asked me to do. It wasn't my strongest skill that's for sure.
The sound of footsteps on the stars brought me back to the present. I quickly stepped out of the room and into the hallway where Xander was quickly hiding the game system in the pocket of his pants. I shut Ethan's door and stood in front of Xander's before Ethan and Tommy came up the stairs fully. "There you two are," Tommy said. "I was wondering where you ran off to."
"Xander was giving me a tour of the rest of the house," I said, putting a hand on Xander's shoulder.
"Yeah. I wanted to show her my room and my Pokemon collection." He said.
"Oh. Do you want to show Kim your room too?" Tommy asked, looking over at Ethan.
"No." He said quickly. "Umm…maybe some other time."
"Sure." I said, giving him a small smile. "I should actually get heading out."
"So soon?" Tommy asked and it made me want to grin like an idiot. I contained it though.
"Yeah. I wanted to stop by and see Trini and Jason after they got out of work since I'll be leaving tomorrow." The four of us headed down the stairs, stopping in the living room area.
"You really are a famous country singer?" Xander asked.
"Dude, I showed you her music videos before." His brother said. "The ones with her singing on stage. That's really her."
"But…she's like standing in our house. And she knows Dad."
"Hey. What's that supposed to mean?" Tommy asked, looking playfully offended.
"I promise. I'm really the same person. I mean, I'm no rocket scientist like Billy but I still manage okay I suppose." I shot Xander a wink and he giggled.
"What's it like being on stage like that?" Ethan asked.
"It definitely takes some getting used to, that's for sure. But, I think it's the best job I could ever have. You know when you're at a concert and you are watching them perform up there and you wonder what they are thinking? It's a lot more complicated than that." I explained.
"He's never been to a concert," Xander said. Ethan shot him a glare.
"No? Never?" A slight red tint appeared on his cheeks and he shook his head.
"Not yet. I'm waiting for the right one to come around."
"A little birdie told me that your birthday is this weekend. How old are you going to be?"
"Sixteen." He replied.
"Sixteen," I repeated, grinning. "Jeez…I could tell you stories about Tommy and I when we were sixteen."
"Really?" Xander asked.
"No," Tommy said flatly.
"Sorry." I giggled. "But I really think that the world's next up-and-coming baker needs to celebrate his 16th birthday in the right fashion. I know you said you are waiting for the right concert to come around to be your first one. I can only offer you, your brother, and Tommy some backstage passes to mine tomorrow night and hope that you think mine would be worthy enough of that honor." Ethan's mouth gaped open.
"What?"
"Really?!" Xander exclaimed.
"Kim, you don't have to do that," Tommy said in a low tone to me. I turned to him.
"I want to," I replied, giving him a reassuring smile. I turned back to Ethan. "Whatta say, kiddo? Can I put you guys down as my guests of honor?"
"Can we?" Ethan asked, looking over at Tommy. Tommy glanced over at me with some hesitation for a moment before nodding. "Yes! We will go!"
"Yay!" Xander jumped up and down excitedly. Ethan scooped him up, running up the stairs. I smiled, watching them run up there.
"You really didn't have to do that, you know," Tommy said.
"I know but I wanted to," I said. "Besides, it was nice getting to spend time with you and the kids today and this gives me an excuse to do some more of it tomorrow. I have one more pass that I will give to Billy so you'll have another adult to keep you sane during all the craziness. I'll take care of the hotel stuff too. You won't have to worry about anything for a change."
"Thanks for that." Tommy and I walked out the back door so that I could get my things on the deck. He walked with me down the deck stairs and through the garden towards the front of the house where my rental car was parked.
"Typically, they send me a car in the morning to head to the venue but if you guys don't mind an early start, we can head there together," I said. "I have a couple of meetings when I get there to go over some things but then we can get some lunch before all the hustle and bustle of the show getting set up kicks off. I think the boys will like watching all the moving pieces play out."
"I think so too. Sure. Just give me a call later and let me know what time to have these knuckleheads ready by. I can drive everyone. I have the most seats in the minivan."
"You have a minivan?" I asked. "Where?"
"It's in the garage. We pull it out for trips and occasions like this." He laughed. "It's something we thought was a good investment at the time but kinda just sits there."
"Oh, I can't wait to see Tommy Oliver behind the wheel of a Mom-mobile." I teased, heading to my car.
"Ha ha. Tell Tristan I said hello." He called out, using the same voice he has used before.
"Very funny!" I yelled before climbing into the car.