Chapter Nine
Hangin' On
I pulled up to the curb in front of Trini and Jason's house about twenty minutes later. I realized there were no cars in the driveway of the two story yellow home and it didn't seem like anyone was home yet. I glanced at the clock and saw I was a bit early. Reaching into my bag, I pulled my cell phone out and dialed Shayna's number. It rang twice before she answered.
"I think I've talked to you more since you've left than the entire time you've lived in Nashville." She said, an amused tone in her voice.
"I know and I'm sorry. You're a busy woman."
"Only because of you. What's up?"
"Where am I staying tomorrow night?" I heard her pause for a moment.
"I had figured your tour bus?" She replied. "Is that not the plan?"
"No, that's fine! Can you just do me a favor and book two hotel rooms under my alias at the hotel attached to the venue? It's for my backstage guests."
"Can do, ma'am. If you give me their names, I'll even get their passes personalized even."
"You're the best! It's Billy, Xander, Ethan, and Tommy. It's Ethan's 16th birthday too. Do you think you can request one of the hotel rooms to have them decorate it and for the catering company to have a birthday cake in the green room that the band DOESN'T touch until after the show?"
"I'll guard it with my life." She replied. "Tommy? As in your friend who lost his wife?"
"Yeah. I figured him and the kids could use the night out. It's the least I could do after not being there this whole time."
"Kim, you didn't know."
"I know but this will make me feel better about it. Besides, the birthday kid is a big fan and I want to make sure he has a good time."
"Leave it to me. Any other requests? Hot air balloons on the roof? Clowns in the hallways?"
"I mean, if you want to bring wine with you for us when I see you I wouldn't complain."
"Now that I can do." She said. "I was hoping to be able to fly in tonight to meet up with you but I'm not going to be there until first thing tomorrow morning. I'm going to have the car pick you up in the morning to bring you to Pasadena so we can make it for our meeting with the executives."
"I don't need a car." I said. "I have a ride. I will be there in time."
"Are you sure? We need you there by 10."
"Yeah. It's only a two hour drive. I can have my stuff packed tonight and be out the door first thing in the morning." Shayna sighed on her end of the phone. "What?"
"I swear if I have to come track you down, it'll be the end of both of us."
"I'm going to be there! Tommy is driving and he will have me there early more than likely."
"He better or else he will need to find us both new jobs out there in California while he's at it. Though, I will say I am eager to meet this guy. I feel like I've heard so much about this guy. I need to see if he lives up to everything you've said about him."
"Well, just keep in mind that there might have been a small bias before." I said, leaning back into the seat of the car.
"Speaking of bias, have you heard from Tristan since the last time I talked to you?" She asked.
"No, not yet. Why?"
"Just wondering. Last I heard, the bus was half way through Arizona. They should be rolling into Pasadena before midnight so they are actually ahead of schedule. I'm sure he's going to give you a call at some point."
"Yea. Maybe." I said softly. Guilt filled my chest slightly at the thought that I hadn't given to thoughts towards Tristan and the fact he had been driving across the country to head this way. I hadn't given him much thought since I hadn't woken up this morning after tossing and turning a good portion of the night because of our little spat. He hadn't called either though which probably meant he was either busy hanging out with the other members of the band or he just didn't feel like talking to me was a good idea with everyone around him right now.
"Look, I don't want you to worry about him any more today. I want you to spend the rest of the day with your friends and I want you to enjoy yourself. Then, I want you to pack your things tonight, get a full night's sleep starting promptly at 8 pm on the dot, and getting your butt in gear by 6 am to head to your first show of your biggest tour. Tristan and his antics can wait until after the curtain closes tonight, okay?"
"Okay. Okay." I said, smirking. Up the road, I saw Trini's car approaching. It pulled into the driveway as I pulled my seat belt off. "Speaking of, Trini just got home. I should go."
"Same. I want to get all this done before I leave for the airport in the morning. I'll text you when everything is set, okay? You sure you don't want a hotel for the night tomorrow?"
"Nah. I'll be good on the bus. I mean, it's brand new and that's what it's for. I should sleep on it."
"Very true. If you need anything else, I'm just a text away."
"Thanks, Shayna. For everything. I owe you."
"You sure do." She said cheerfully. "But it's only because I love you and I can't wait to hear all about everything you've been doing out in California when I see you tomorrow."
"Oh…it's been something." I said, rolling my eyes.
"I bet. I'll see you tomorrow!" With that, we hung up and I tossed the phone back in my bag. I grabbed the bag and climbed from the car. Shutting the door, I saw that Trini was pulling grocery bags from the trunk of her car. I jogged over, locking the rental car with the fob as I did. She turned at the sound of the car beeping, smiling at me when she saw me.
"I thought that was you in the car." She said. She scooped up a brown grocery bag in her left arm. "What are you doing here?"
"I figured I would stop by for a visit since I'm heading out of town tomorrow." I said. Reaching out, I took the next bag from her arms.
"Well, I'm glad we made the cut." She closed the trunk and I followed her up the porch steps. "Are you getting excited about tomorrow night?"
"I am! Trying not to let my nerves get to me. I don't think it's really set in, you know? It's not my first concert or anything obviously but it's my biggest so far. Whole lot of pressure."
"You're going to do great, Kim." She smiled, unlocking the door. We walked in, finding ourselves in their foyer. It opened up into the living room, cream colored walls expanding from one direction to the other. I removed my sneakers, my feet sinking into the white carpet under my feet. There was a two piece overstuffed gray furniture set in here pointed towards a white entertainment center, a TV perched on it. Pictures from their wedding hung on their walls around the living room and various accents mixed with them, creating a homey feeling with it. I followed Trini up the short hallway and into the kitchen, an all white room with stainless steel appliances and black handles on the white wooden cabinets. There was an island with marble countertop, stools perched next to it. I set my bag of groceries on this where she had set hers and she busied herself with putting them agway
"How was work?" I asked, perching myself up on one of the stools.
"It was fine. Lots of clinical paperwork today mostly. Feel like my eyes could fall out of my head after staring at the computer all day."
"I still can't believe you do what you do. I could never. OF course, you're also eighty times smarter than me so there's that."
"Oh, stop it." She chided, folding up the grocery bags and tucking them under the sink. "Really, it's just knowing how to collect data and present it. Anyone could do it. I'm not Billy."
"Pretty close though!" I said. "You're the only one who can translate him better than anyone."
"That's true." She smirked. "Do you want a drink?" She asked, pointing at the fridge. I nodded. Opening the door, she reached in and grabbed a pitcher of lemonade. She poured two glasses of it into glasses that were decorated with little lemons on them that she pulled down from the cupboard next to the sink. She handed one to me and I took a sip, enjoying the nice sweet flavor of it.
"Thank you." I said.
"You're welcome." Leaning forward, she propped her arms up on the island. "How was coffee with Tommy?" I could hear the little smugness in her voice that told me that she had been dying to ask the question since she saw me outside.
"It was very nice." I said, sipping my lemonade. "We talked about the boys, he explained that whole situation to me, and then I got the tour of the house."
"Sounds very nice." Trini said. "Did you get a chance to talk?"
"I said we talked." I replied.
"Yeah…about the boys. I mean talk about you and him and what happened." I groaned.
"I don't see why that even matters. What happened, happened for a reason and he clearly had his mind made up."
"Right now, it matters because you're both here. You're both single in a way and I think talking about what happened would clear things up." For the briefest of moments, I wished that Trini didn't know what happened between Tommy and I on her wedding day. She really only knew because I had slipped up about six months later when she had come to see me at one of my shows during my second tour. It had been my first time seeing anyone besides the guys from the band and it brought out the need to spill the beans.
"But I'm not single. I have a boyfriend."
"That's right. Trenton." She said.
"Tristan." I corrected her.
"Sorry. Right. Tristan. How is he doing?" She asked.
"He's okay. He's on his way to California right now with the rest of the band." I took another long sip of the lemonade. "We had a fight."
"Oh no. Trouble in paradise?"
"Some paradise." I muttered. Sighing, I leaned against the counter. "He wants to move in with me."
"How romantic." I shot her a look. "Or not?" She asked, confused.
"I don't know if I'm ready for that step yet. I don't know if we're ready for that step yet. It's a big commitment. He's asking me to just let some guy move in with me when I don't even know if I can take care of myself most days."
"Well, it's not like he's asking for the universe, Kim. He's asking to share a sink in the morning."
"I hate doing that." I groaned. She grinned.
"I know you do." She stood up straight. "Seems like you need to have a heart to heart with him about this then and let him know how you feel."
"I can't because it's not fair. We've been together a year and I should be ready, you know? I don't know. Maybe I'm just not letting myself be ready or something."
"And that's probably why you should have that talk with Tommy."
"Good wrap around." I said, glaring at her.
"I try." She shrugged. "Admit it though. It would clear everything up for you guys and would make your life easier."
"Or would just cause mass chaos like what usually happens when you mix Tommy and I together for too long." I stared down at the ice floating on the top of my lemonade. "Look at the last time I saw him. We didn't even make it a whole week before we went behind Katherine's back. And that was after we had decided to do the right thing and stay friends."
"So, after you slept together, what happened? I don't understand why Tommy didn't call things off with her. It's not like he didn't have the opportunity to."
"He-."
"Honey, I'm home!" Jason's voice bellowed through the house as the back door swung open from the far right part of the kitchen. He entered, his backpack over his shoulder. He smiled when he saw me, sunglasses on his eyes. He was still wearing his uniform and the dark blue of it looked even darker in the whiteness of the kitchen. "Hey, Kimmy. I wasn't expecting to see you here. How are you?" He said, tossing his bag on the ground. Walking over, he gave Trini a quick hug and a peck on the check before giving me a tight hug.
"I'm good. I figured I would surprise you guys before I leave tomorrow. How are you?"
"Oh, you know. Same old, same old. Big tour tomorrow. I bet you're a ball of nerves. You're gonna kill it though." He smiled, getting a beer from the fridge. He pulled the glasses from his eyes and sat on the stool next to me. "What are we talking about?"
"Just Kim's time at Tommy's this morning." Trini replied. Jason nodded, taking a sip of his beer.
"He said he was looking forward to having you there. How was he doing?"
"He seemed to be in good spirits. The boys were pretty happy when I left too. That was more my doing though."
"Why?" Jason asked.
"I invited them to my concert tomorrow." I replied. "I had some passes that I had originally gotten for you guys but Billy told me that you couldn't get out of work. So, I asked if they wanted to come since Ethan's birthday is this weekend and with everything they've been through. I hope you guys aren't mad."
"Mad? I think it's a great idea." Trini said. "Are you sure you're going to be okay with that though?"
"What do you mean?" I questioned. Jason let out a little snort, taking another sip of his beer. "What?"
"Has Tommy listened to any of your music? Like…at all?"
"I'm not sure. Why does that matter? The kids do and that's who he is going for." I said.
"Right but do you think he's not going to realize who a couple of your songs are about?" Trini asked.
"Oh, c'mon." I laughed. "I don't have any songs about Tommy." Trini raised an eyebrow at me.
"No? None at all? So the one song you have about falling in love with a long haired boy who broke your heart has nothing to do with him?"
"Okay…so I might have a song about him." I said.
"What about that one that starts out about nights at a lake house? I seem to recall someone I know having an Uncle with a lake house." Jason said, pretending to look off into the distance like he was thinking.
"Or there's the one-"
"Alright!" I said, cutting them off. "I have a few songs that were inspired by Tommy." I buried my face in my hands, rubbing it. I lifted my head, looking at them. "I didn't even consider that. Do you think it's going to be awkward for him? What about the kids?"
"I don't think the kids are going to piece it together. I don't even believe they know the two of you have a history like that." Trini explained. "And I'm sure Tommy will be okay with it."
"Maybe it's not too late to tell Tommy it was a mistake and I actually don't have the tickets." I grumbled.
"And break that poor kid's heart? I think he's been through that enough." Jason scoffed.
"I know." I sighed. "I could always just change out a couple of the songs if I don't want to play them."
"There you go. See? It will all work itself out like it always does." Trini said. "Are you guys hungry? I can order a pizza."
"Yes ma'am." Jason said.
"Sure." I replied.
After the pizza came, Jason, Trini and I sat in the dining room and ate. They told me about their house buying adventure and all about the struggle it had been to move in. They told me that Aisha and Rocky were living in Stone Canyon now with Adam living in Seattle. He made the trek back home a few times a year to see everyone but it depended on his work schedule. The last time everyone had been home was right before Kat had really declined. It seemed like Tommy and Kat had found out that there were only weeks at that point and had made sure that everyone came back to say their goodbyes. It hurt to hear this because I had been the only one who hadn't been included on that invite. It was no secret to know why I wasn't included but it still stung.
"You know, it really bums me out that we couldn't get to your show tomorrow." Jason said, leaning back in his seat. "I really tried like hell to get the night off but duty calls."
"I get it. I actually have more passes for my show in Vegas at the end of next month. I'd love you guys to come out then. I have enough for everyone to come then. We can get the whole original gang together then! You guys, Zack, Billy, Tommy. It'll be just like the old days. It's a longer weekend for me too so we can make it an entire thing in Vegas."
"I don't know." Trini frowned. "I'm not sure if I'd be able to get away for that long."
"C'mon, Trini. You have the time built up." Jason said. She glanced at him and for a moment, I thought she gave him a look of anger. Was she trying to tell him something that she didn't want me to know?
"I can cover the cost of the hotel. They gave me a block with the venue since it's in the MGM. It'll be a nice get away." I said. "You have time to think about it."
"Yeah. I'll have to see what work says." She smiled politely. I nodded, feeling like she had some ice to her smile. I glanced at the clock on the wall and saw it was nearing 7 pm.
"I should probably head back to Billy's house to pack up. I have to be on the road first thing in the morning and there's a lot to do by then." I lied, knowing there wasn't. Something in the air had changed between Trini and I and I wasn't too sure what that had been and why.
"You better call when you get there." Jason said as the three of us stood from the table. They walked with me towards the front door. He opened it and we filed onto the front porch together.
"I will. Tommy is driving so I'm sure I will get there safely."
"Hopefully you both do if that's the case." Jason smirked, giving me a hug. He squeezed me tightly before letting go.
"I make no promises." I replied. I turned towards Trini who was standing further away than she normally would. "Let me know about Vegas, alright? And I'll call to check in with you a couple of times a week. I want to hear about work and how everything is going here."
"I can let you know." She said, nodding. I walked over and gave her a hug. She was a bit stiff but she did return it. I waved before jogging off the steps and over to the rental car. I climbed in, started it and headed off towards Billy's house. I couldn't understand the sudden shift in Trini's behavior towards me. It had been fine until I had mentioned them coming to see me in Vegas. Was it the invitation? Did she have something against traveling? Was it Vegas itself? I would have to ask him when I talked to her again. There wasn't enough time to figure it out right now. I had to get things ready for tomorrow and I didn't want to have to scramble in the morning.
From my purse, my cell phone began to ring. Carefully, I reached over and pulled it from the front pocket. I saw that it was Tristan. I hit the answer button and brought it to my ear. "Hello?" I said.
"Hey, babe. We made it into California." He said, his voice sounding small.
"You did? Great! Are you near some trees?" I asked.
"How did you know?"
"You sound like you're talking through some cans on a string." I laughed.
"Probably work as well. I've been trying to call you all day but it didn't want to connect at all today. It finally did when I got into California but had to wait until we were across the state lines."
"Must have been the connection with the service provider. How has the trip been so far?" I asked, pulling into the driveway at Billy's house.
"It's been okay but I can't wait to see you tomorrow." He said softly. I smiled, killing the engine of the car.
"I'm happy about seeing you tomorrow too. You'll get to meet a couple of my friends tomorrow as well."
"Really? That's great. It'll be a chance to learn a little bit about you for a change. You're such a private person that it's hard to know anything about you really."
"What can I say? It's a gift." I said and I could hear him chuckle. In my ear, I heard a beep. "Oh! One second, that's my call waiting."
"Oh okay." I pulled the phone from my ear and saw a number I didn't recognize. I hit the call waiting button and brought it to my ear. "Hello?"
"Kim? It's Tommy." Tommy's voice said in my ear. Instantly, my heartbeat quickened and I sat up straighter in my seat.
"Hey." I said.
"Sorry to just call out of the blue like this. I got your number from Billy. I just wanted to double check that you were sure about this whole thing. Ethan and Xander would understand if something came up."
"Tommy, I told you that it's fine. This is something I really want to do for them and you. It's going to be fun and I really hope you enjoy yourself some as well."
"I don't think I remember how to do that." He joked.
"Well, I guess we're going to have to remind you." I said. "I'll be ready by 8 am tomorrow if you can be here by then. I need to be at the venue by 10 am for a meeting. If that's too early, I can always keep my rental and drive myself."
"No, that's fine. The boys are excited about driving with you and seeing how everything works during setup. Especially Ethan."
"I figured he would be. I really hope they have a great time." I opened the car door and climbed out.
"I think they will. It's all they've been talking about. Safe to say you are the new favorite in this house. I mean..you already kinda were but now you officially were."
"I'll accept the honor." I said, both of us laughing as I walked into the house. I didn't see Billy's car here, telling me he wasn't home yet. "I'll be sure to include you little people in my speech."
"Yes, please do. That's all we can ask of you."
"Anything to please my fans." I smirked, walking up the stairs and sitting on the edge of my bed. I wondered where he was sitting in their house. "Are you excited about tomorrow?"
"I actually am."
"Oh, well the actually part is reassuring."
"Sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I meant that usually I feel bad doing things like this, even with the boys. This time, I don't. I'm not sure if it's because it's a no pressure type of thing more because Kat is gone. It's been great seeing the boys so happy. They haven't been trying to kill each other all afternoon. It's been nice."
"It's like I have a magic power." I joked.
"Teach me your ways then because most days, I need them."
"Just call me Yoga." I said.
"What?" He asked.
"You know. The little green guy from Star Wars."
"That's Yoda." He chuckled.
"Close enough."
"I mean, you guys are the same height." He teased me.
"Oh, ha it's not too late to ask Trini if she wants to come with the boys and me instead of you."
"I apologize." He stated. "Unless you really do want to bring Trini instead."
"Tommy, I wouldn't have asked you if I didn't want you to come. I promise."
"I just wanted to make sure." I took a deep breath.
"I suppose I should tell you before it happens though that there might be a song or two tomorrow that you're gonna hear tomorrow night that could sound like I wrote about some stuff that sounds familiar to you."
"Are you trying to tell me that some of your songs are about me?" He questioned.
"I can neither confirm or deny that question." I responded flatly.
"Hmmm…I guess I will have to see if I can pick out the ones that I think they are. I'm sure it won't be that hard to decipher."
"I just didn't want you to get thrown off if you heard them. Things between us haven't always been this friendly and I don't want us to go back to that weird awkward state again so I'm trying to be proactive with it."
"I appreciate that, Kim. And I really appreciate you not mentioning anything to the boys about our history. I know I didn't say anything to you before because I didn't get the chance to so I want to thank you for not saying anything. I just don't want to have to listen to the interrogation about our past once they do find out."
"I understand. I feel like they'd want to know every little detail."
"Oh, for sure. Not ready for that yet. I think them living in a world where we were just friends is okay right now."
"Sure, Tommy." I said. There was a beeping in my ear. I glanced at my phone and saw that my phone flashed that the other line disconnected. I swore under my breath. I had forgotten Tristan was on the other line. I had left him on hold for almost fifteen minutes while I've been talking about nothing of importance with Tommy.
"Everything okay?" He asked.
"Yeah. I'm just an idiot, that's all." I sighed, laying back on the bed. Tristan was going to be upset when I called him back. I'd have to tell him it was something important and that I was held up because of it.
"Hey, you've got a lot going on right now. Don't be so hard on yourself. Do you need any help getting ready for tomorrow? I can come over and help you get everything packed up and sorted."
"Thanks for the offer but I don't have too much really. They are coming to get the rental car after we leave tomorrow so I just have to make sure I get myself ready I guess."
"Oh." He said and I thought I heard a defeated tone in his voice. Was he disappointed that I hadn't taken up his offer of coming over to help me? Should I have had him come over? My heart quickened in my chest at the thought.
"Unless you're bored and you're looking for something to do and you want to come over. Billy is gone and I could use some company." I said, biting my lip.
"I could pop in for a quick minute or two to visit." He replied. In my ear, there was a loud beep and my phone vibrated which caused me to gasp loudly in shock. "Kim?"
"Sorry. I'm getting a text message. One sec." I pulled my phone away from my face and saw that it was from Tristan. I frowned, bringing the phone back to my ear.
"Who was it?"
"Tristan." I said softly.
"Ah. The boyfriend." Tommy said in a quiet voice. A hushed lull fell over us for a moment and I willed him to say something.
"Tommy? Are you still there?" I whispered.
"Huh? Yeah. Sorry. I actually just remembered that the boys have some laundry I have to get done before tomorrow so I won't be able to pop in tonight. But I will be there first thing tomorrow morning."
"Oh, okay. Billy and I will be ready." I said.
"Night, Kim."
"Night, Tommy." I hung up the phone and let it fall on the bed next to my head. I gazed up at the ceiling above my head. What the hell was I thinking, inviting Tommy over like that? Why had I just forgotten about Tristan on the other line just because I was talking to Tommy? I had for sure set myself up for an argument when I saw him. I couldn't even get myself to focus on that though. I was more upset by the fact that Tommy wasn't on his way here. I took a deep breath. I recognized the feeling that was forming in the pit of my stomach. It was the same one that had formed the day I had rode with him to get Jason's tux for the wedding all those years ago.
I was still in love with Tommy.
Crap.