A/N: Happy Friday night everyone! At least it still is here in NY. I hope you are enjoying this as much as I am writing it. In this chapter, you might get some answers to questions you've been asking. :)

Chapter Twelve
In Another Life

I finished the tour with Tommy, Billy and the boys quickly before leading them back to the hotel. I told them that I would send Shayna to come get them when it was time for the meet and greets since I would be getting ready on my tour bus. Something felt off in me after my encounter with Tristan but I did my best to not think about it as I made my way to the parking garage where I found my bus parked behind it in the reserved section. Shayna was here and she ushered me on quickly, Helena from hair and makeup patiently waiting for me inside.

The inside of my tour bus is structured like a high class RV setup. There's long couches on either side, a small kitchenette in the back corner of the main room, with a full size fridge. Beyond that, there was a desk area with a table top and a vanity mirror where Helena was set up. My bedroom was in the doorway on the other side of that, the door still shut. Shayna had sent for my things upstairs, my bags tucked under one of the couches I saw. I frowned, not knowing why it made me sad to see that my bags were no longer near Tommy.

I sat quietly while Helena curled my hair and applied a light layer of airbrushed makeup to my face. On my nights, I do my own hair and makeup. Since it's the opening show, the label wanted to make sure the best impression was left so they sent Helena over. I was grateful seeing as I didn't think I'd be able to focus enough to do my own hair at the moment. After Helena was done, she bid us a farewell before packing up her things and leaving. Shayna sighed once the door shut behind Helena.

"What happened?" She asked.

"What do you mean?" I replied, flipping through the wardrobe options that had been left for me.

"Well, you look like someone tried to cancel your birthday or something. Did something happen at sound check?"

"No." I said, pulling a garment bag off the rack in front of me. I sighed, sitting on the couch behind me. "Maybe? I don't know."

"Kim…" She said, putting her hands on her hips. "I thought we agreed you would focus on the show and leave the drama out."

"There is no drama!" I exclaimed. "Trust me. I'm the only one feeling anything from it right now." I pulled my sneakers off and my socks, setting them off to the side neatly. "I just don't know what to do with myself these days."

"What does that mean?" Shayna asked, sitting across from me. "Is it this Tommy guy? Was it something Tristan said?"

"It's complicated."

"Yeah, well so is managing you but I still survive that every day somehow. Enlighten me, shall you?" I looked over at Shayna and bit my lip. I didn't want to tell her about my past with Tommy. I had done so well with keeping this part of my life separated from where I had come from. Now it was all getting muddled together because I couldn't control myself.

"Tommy is my ex." I confessed, looking down at the garment bag. "We dated when I was in high school for a few years. I thought he was the person I'd get married to."

"Well, yeah. Everyone thinks that when they get a boyfriend in school."

"This was different." I said. "There was just something about Tommy and I that was different from other couples. It's hard to explain but we just were. We were there for each other through everything. He was right by my side when my Mom decided she wanted to whisk me away from France even though I didn't want to go. When I had to make the hardest decision of my life by picking up and heading to Florida to follow my dreams of being an Olympic athlete, he supported me without thinking twice. He never asked me to stay behind for him. He just said he'd be here waiting for me when I came back with my gold medals. What other teen boys would do that for their high school girlfriends?" I sighed. "But I couldn't handle life on the road away from him, knowing he was here with everyone I had left behind. I was practicing so much and there were new people in Florida that at the time I thought were better suited for my situation. I know now it was from convenience but I let it sway me. I broke up with him through a letter, telling him I had found someone else."

"You 'Dear John'ed him? Oof." Shayna winced. "You were just a kid though, Kim. You didn't know any better."

"Maybe but it's still something that keeps me up at night. After that, he started seeing his wife who I had always felt was just waiting for me to get out of the picture. I was bitter for a good number of years about how it went down, especially once I heard they were engaged and those relationships I had after all fizzled out. But then I signed my record deal and I dived head first into work so it really didn't bother me as much anymore."

"I'm sensing that wasn't the case forever."

"About four years ago, my friends Trini and Jason got married. Tommy and I ended up the best man and maid of honor. We worried through our issues the week of the wedding and managed to become friends again. He was married to Kat at that point and I was fresh with the label. We spent hours talking about life, memories, and catching up. That's the thing with Tommy; I can go forever without seeing him but it's always like we just picked up in the middle of a really good conversation when we run into each other."

"That's a good thing. Being friends with him sounds like a benefit for you. Sometimes that happens in relationships."

"It didn't stay that way though." I muttered. "We ended up sleeping together after the wedding."

"Oh dear." She said, leaning back into the couch. "He cheated on his wife with you."

"It wasn't something I planned! I knew I had feelings for him again…or still…or whatever and I told him. He told me he was married and needed to just be friends. Somehow, we ended up at the hotel in bed together. It was like having an out of body experience that I had no way of controlling until it was over."

"So, you slept together after this wedding four years ago. What happened then? Why doesn't he just leave his wife? And what about his kids? What if they find out he cheated on their mother with you?"

"They are adopted. They aren't Kat's." I replied. "And I really thought he would. We agreed to meet later that day before I had to head to the airport to catch a flight back to Nashville. When I got there to meet him though, Tommy started talking about how much he owed Kat since they were married and that he needed to see the commitment through. We agreed that it was better to pretend it didn't happen."

"What?" She asked, surprised. "Just like that?"

"Yeah. Just like that. I headed back to Nashville with a broken heart and he went back home with Kat and adopted the boys."

"But now?" I scratched my forehead, looking in any direction but at her.

"Well, it seems like all this time together has reminded me of how easy it was to fall in love with Tommy." I said softly. Shayna leaned forward.

"No. I'm pretty sure you've been in love with him this entire time and you've just never let that go, Kim."

"Well, either way it's bad timing like usual. Tommy literally just lost his wife and he has two sons now. I can't expect him to roll my brand of crazy into their lives after all this time."

"I think you're forgetting something."

"What?" I questioned.

"Tristan." She replied, raising an eyebrow at me. "You're with Tristan."

"Right. That too."

"So, what are you going to do?" Shayna asked me, giving me an expectant look.

"What can I even do? It's not like I can tell Tommy how I feel with everything he's going through and I still have a boyfriend. I can't afford for my life to get super messy right now. No one deserves that."

"But you deserve to be happy, Kim. Regardless of what happens, if you aren't happy with who you are with, you have a right to try to change that."

"I don't even know how to do that." I let out a little chuckle. "And what if I do get with Tommy and it doesn't work out again? I'm on the road most of the year. I couldn't handle being away from him before. How do I know it's not just going to be history repeating itself again? Besides, he was the one who didn't want to be with me last time. Why would he want to now?"

"Well, for starters, his wife isn't in the picture any more. You aren't competing with an ethical issue. Some people marry the wrong people before they realize they are meant to be with someone else. Maybe he needed to see that through first before he would be able to live with himself after cheating? Who knows. I think he's the one you should be asking about that when you tell him how you feel."

"I don't know if I can do that." I whispered.

"Well, like I said, you don't have to do it right now. Let's just focus on the show and get through that. After you've been on the road for a little bit and away from him, if you feel the same you can tell him. If not, you'll know it was just being in close proximity for an extended amount of time. Either way, no one needs to get hurt until you know for sure then."

"You're right." I sighed.

"It rarely happens but it does happen from time to time." She smiled, standing. "Now, get dressed. I'm going to go get your guests for your meet and greets. I'm going to keep lover boy away from you so you don't fall off the stage." She moved to head out the door.

"Hey, Shayna?" I asked. She paused, her hand on the door.

"Huh?"

"Can we keep what I said between us? About Tommy? I don't want Tristan finding out about who he really is." She smiled again.

"Secret is safe with me." She said, "I'll see you in ten!"

After getting changed into a rosé colored lace dress with a denim jacket and brown cowboy boots, I made my way back into the convention center. Inside, I was greeted by Albert who usually waits for me when I need to travel to and from at a venue like this one. "Hey, Kim. You look beautiful." He said, smiling at me.

"Thanks, Al. Where are they doing the meet and greets today?" I asked, adjusting the necklace I had tossed on. It was a paper crane I had bought myself after I first learned about online shopping when my big checks started rolling in.

"Near the green room. It's a packed room already! Shayna brought your guests to the green room to get them prepared."

"Good."

"Friends from the area?" He asked as we walked.

"Yes. I grew up around her so they came to the show to support me." I explained.

"I'm glad to hear that. Friends are important. Never forget that."

"I try my best." I smiled at him as we walked through the double doors that led to the hallway where the green room was.

"I'll see ya on the flip side, Kim." He shot me a wink before waving as he walked away towards the main portion of the center where I could hear the music from the preloaded playlist playing over the murmur of a lot of people. People were filing into their seats, excited to see the show. Pre-show jitters fluttered in my stomach but I pushed them aside as I walked into the green room. Inside, I found Shayna, Tommy, Billy, Xander, and Ethan. All were now wearing t-shirts with my face on them, something that made me want to cringe a bit.

"Kim!" Xander called with excitement. I smiled at him, walking over.

"Hey guys! Sorry to keep you waiting. Are you excited for the show?" I asked. Ethan nodded.

"Yeah!" Xander chirped.

"I was just filling them in on their job duties." Shayna said. "Xander is going to hang out in the front with the kids and let anyone know if something goes wrong. Ethan is going to help out the sound guys in the back. Billy and Tommy are going to help with transporting wheelchairs."

"Sounds like you guys are going to earn your tickets." I teased.

"Nothing is free in this world. Remember that, kids." Shayna said. "C'mon boys. Time to set up. Kim, you can relax here til it's your cue."

"Okay." The group walked out the green room and towards a large conference room that was off to the right down the hall. I grabbed a water, tapping on it with nerves as I tried not to think about Tommy or the bug number of people in the stands.

I thought about what I had said to Shayna. I was regretting it now. I thought it would make me feel better getting it out in the open to someone. Instead, it made me feel like there was a lead balloon hanging above just waiting to drop. It meant someone else now knew how I felt and what happened between Tommy and I. I didn't like that and I was regretting opening my mouth. I should have allowed myself to suffer in silence like usual.

"They're ready for you, Kim!" A roadie called, sticking his head into the doorway a few minutes later. I thanked him, walking up the hallway to where the conference room was. I could hear talking from inside of the room, telling me that there was a good number of people in here. Last count I had been told was fifty or so but I could be mistaken. I took a deep breath, closing my eyes. I needed to get my head into this and force everything else to the side right now. Opening my eyes, I pulled the door open and stepped in. I saw that it was more like a small ballroom than it was a conference room. It was sectioned off into two different areas; one side being a stage area with chairs to watch me perform and then the other area being a backdrop with the logo for the tour on it set up in front of a camera and lighting equipment for pictures. There was a roped off part of the room where the fans were being lined up, waiting for me. Some looked up when I entered, chattering with each other in excitement. Shayna walked over to me, leaving Tommy and Billy off to the side. I noticed that Ethan was standing on the opposite side of the room with Gus, the sound guy. Xander was talking to some kids that were in line, one being a boy about his age in a wheelchair.

"Kid's a pro at greeting people." Shayna said, pointing at Xander. "He might have a business in customer service."

"It's the personality." I replied. "Is everything good to go with the photographer? I want to make sure everyone gets a picture without having to rush."

"They are good to go. Knock 'em dead, killer." She grinned at me, leading me over to the backdrop. The group of fans cheered loudly as we grew closer and they were able to tell it was me for sure. The photographer, a younger girl by the name of Chen, smiled at me as she tapped some things on the camera. "Hello, everyone! Our guest of honor is here. We're going to start with the picture meet and greets first and then move into the private concert. When you have your photo taken, please be mindful there are other people waiting. If you need assistance with a wheelchair or equipment, let one of our assistants know. Once your photo op is complete, please head on over to the seating area to keep things moving smoothly. Who's ready to go?" There was more cheering as Shayna clapped her hands together.

I was positioned in front of the backdrop as they started bringing fans up to the area. Most were friendly or shy, parents having to speak up for their children. It was easy to spot someone who had purchased a backstage ticket or a meet and greet from the people who were there because they were invited through Make-A-Wish. The paid guests were a bit more lingering when it came to their photos, needing reminders from Shayna to keep the line moving. Those who were there for the foundation were gracious and made sure to move along. I tried to talk with these people more to show my gratitude for them being there. Tommy and Billy helped move wheelchairs during this, helping them go from the line to the photo op, and then finally over to the seating area. Xander went up and down the line, talking with the kids and keeping the air in the room light. Once the last small family had come through for their pictures, they were led to the other side to sit down. I took a large swig of water, grateful to be rid of my nerves for the time being.

"That's my cue." I said to Shayna who was making sure that everyone had gone through that was accounted for. I jogged over to the stage, climbing up the three steps that were there. A lone acoustic guitar sat on its perch here, a stool behind it. I smiled broadly, walking across the stage and sitting on the stool. Reaching over, I adjusted the microphone so it was the right height for my mouth and picked up my guitar, putting the strap over my neck. "Hi everyone! It's so good to see yall here for the show. I'm glad that you're here now for this private time together. I'd like to sing some songs for you tonight but I have a rule; you have to sing along if you know it. No being shy, okay?" There was a collective cheer. "Great!" I strummed a couple chords. I noticed that Xander had settled in a chair between two kids in wheelchairs in the front row. Tommy and Billy were in the back of the crowd, watching me. Looking out, I saw most of the people there wore shirts with my face on them. It was something that would never be normal for me.

"In another lifetime, I'd be your plus one and you'd be mine. Two would become one for the rest of our lives. We'd get ready in the same bathroom. We'd arrive in the same car. You'd open up the door for me, and I'd remember where we parked. You gave me your name, I gave you my heart. Because this life we're living now, babe, will be the only one we'll ever spend apart." I sang, the sound carrying across the room from the speakers as I strummed the melody leading into the chorus. "I picked out the suit you're wearing, straightened up your tie. Been together so long, but you still give me butterflies. I bought this dress I'm wearing, just to make you want me all night. Driving you crazy with desire is my favorite little high. And I must have done it so dam well tonight, considering I've had to put this dress back on 3 damn times."

As I sang, my mind went to the day I had written it. It was the weeks following the last time I had seen Tommy. I was trying my best to not let our not break up get to me but I was left feeling like I had never gotten over him and our breakup the first time. I was laying in bed, thinking about him when the lyrics came to me for this song. It had been meant as a great way to get over him but over the last four years, it's been used by couples who are trying to get back together as their theme.

"In another lifetime, I'd never board that plane. I'd stay right here by your side and we'd never say goodbye. I'd never lose you to her and what we had would have never died. In another lifetime, I'd be your plus one and you'd be mine." I sang softly, letting my voice trail off as the song ended. The small crowd applauded, cheering loudly. I didn't dare look in the direction I knew Tommy was standing. I'd be humiliated to look at him right now. Instead, I smiled at the small group. "Great job, guys! I hope you're having fun. We have a couple more songs I am going to play and then it will be time for the big show. How does that sound?" There was loud cheering and clapping.

I sang a couple more songs, thankfully no others about Tommy. The crowd sang with me, enjoying their time as they did. As I finished the last song, I stood up and took a bow. Everyone stood, cheering loudly. I set my guitar down in its rest and waved at everyone. "I hope you have fun at the show!" I called, blowing kisses. I jogged off the stage, heading out the doors to the hallway where Shayna was waiting.

"Great set! I think they had a blast in there." She said, looking down at her watch. "And you still have twenty minutes before you're due on stage."

"Look at me being punctual once in my life." I muttered, tucketing a strand of hair behind my ear. The door behind me opened and Tommy and Billy emerged, Xander and Ethan behind them. "Hey!" I said cheerfully, worried about how Tommy was going to react if he realized that song was about him.

"That was awesome!" Xander said, practically jumping up and down.

"Yeah? I'm glad you liked it." I said, I looked over at Ethan. "Thank you for helping in the sound booth. I appreciate having extra hands on deck tonight."

"Sure. No problem." He replied, the tips of his ears turning pink.

"Alright. We gotta get you into position." Shayna said to me.

"Right. So Shayna is going to take you guys to your special spot to watch the show. I'll see you after, okay?" I asked. The group nodded. "If you want anything to eat or drink during the show, you let Shayna know. I mean it."

"I live to serve." Shayna smirked, winking at Xander. She turned, walking towards the direction of the right side of the stage.

"Break a leg, Kim!" Billy called over his shoulder, waving. I waved back as Tommy turned, walking backwards so he could see me.

"Don't you dare, beautiful." He said, smiling and winking at me. I was suddenly transported back to 15, standing on the stage of the Angel Grove auditorium waiting to go on for Rumpelstiltskin. I smiled widely, knowing I looked like an idiot as he turned back around to jog up to the others.