"You, uh, really like this cave, don't you?" Renji awkwardly wondered as we entered the Bankai Training Grounds.

"Don't think I didn't catch you bragging to the other lieutenants about how you first unlocked Bankai here." I shot back.

"That doesn't really counter my point, though…" He muttered.

"Hey, the Wandenreich don't know about it, there's a lot of space, it's kinda hard to beat in terms of what we need, okay?" I defended.

"You're not really saying that you don't like this place a lot." The tease in his voice was clear.

"Maybe I do, maybe I don't, it doesn't matter." Huffed out from me.

"Aw, Strawberry-san has a favorite training spot!" He spoke in baby-tone.

"Oh fuck off." My eyes rolled. Yep, regardless of my attempts to act like it didn't irritate me, people still started calling me Strawberry. Here's hoping Rangiku wouldn't come up with 'Strawberry Sunrise' a second time. The redhead's laughter filled the air, I crossed my arms over my chest and allowed him to let it all out. It didn't take him long, thankfully.

"Alright, alright." He had a small smile on his face as he gathered himself. "So what's this cool new form you're gonna help me get?" I blinked.

"What?"

"I'm gonna get a new form from this, right?" He asked, like it was a rhetorical question. "From what I've heard, everyone else you've gone to has gotten new forms."

"…Yamamoto?" So shocked by his revelation, I couldn't do anything but think of how he was wrong.

"I mean, you specifically said that the training for Kyoraku-taicho, Ukitake-taicho, and Yamamoto-soutaicho was just to keep them in top shape. Everyone else has gotten new forms. Well, except for Kuchiki-taicho, but I've heard him mention new techniques with his Bankai."

"…Unohana?"

"All of the lieutenants except for Kotetsu-fukutaicho have more or less agreed that her undoing her braid turns her into a different person." He justified. I tilted my head in consideration of that idea, before shrugging in acceptance.

"Uh…Momo." I declared. He stared at me for a moment, blinking slowly.

"Um, does…making friends with your hollow…really count as training?" The tattooed man asked uncertainly.

"What? No! She was supposed to be inventing new kido spells!" I paused in my arguing to let the situation really settle into my head. "…which Shiro can't cast as a hollow. And-and when we don't know how she invented the spells she did." A single raised eyebrow was the pineapple's response. "She'll…have more time to invent since she's not depressed?"

"Aren't you supposed to be some sort of kido master now?" He challenged. "Shouldn't you know the kido spells she's invented so you could show her and give her an idea on how to re-invent them?"

"Okay, so, I learned spells from Tessai and Hachi, and the only time I really use kido is when I use bakudo spells to prevent my enemies from getting out of the way of my attacks." He appeared instantly baffled.

"I've seen your attacks, when would you need to pin your enemies in place?"

"When I really want them to feel it." I explained. "But we're getting off topic. As much as I hate to give you this, your training will be you pretty much getting a new Bankai." He smirked smugly.

"So I was right." After a moment of looking all proud of himself, doubt crept onto his face. "Wait, how am I getting a 'new Bankai?'"

"Well, to be more specific, you're getting your 'complete' Bankai. Shiro and I decided that the best term for what you've got now is a 'free trial Bankai.'"

"Free-" The tattooed man scrambled for the right words to say for a long moment. "But, I manifested Zabimaru all on my own! I defeated him without any help! Hell, you were the one that used that cheatsy tenshintai!"

"That's true, but also consider that I wasn't even using Zangetsu when I got that Bankai. That was Ossan faking my powers." I explained. "And by the time I got around to using my actual zanpakuto, I could manifest Zangetsu without even thinking about it and had long since already defeated both of my zanpakuto spirits. So your point is moot."

"Then, if there ended up being no difference between how you got your Bankai and me, why do I have the 'free trial Bankai', huh?" He groused.

"Because I never lied to myself about why I needed Bankai. And, while I once did half-lie to myself about why I wanted to get stronger, I eventually stopped." I crossed my arms over my chest while I stared him down.

"…Eh?"

"Why did you seek out getting Bankai?"

"To save Rukia." He announced without hesitation.

"Okay, so let's squint our eyes, tilt our heads sideways, and pretend that we're gonna go back all the way to when you were sent out to retrieve Rukia from the World of the Living. That's like two weeks towards training for your Bankai under the guise of wanting to save Rukia." I let that linger in the air to sink in. "So, that's bullshit."

"It's what got me through that final push!" He justified.

"But not why you started." Was my counter.

"Any halfway decent Lieutenant trains for Bankai!" He shrugged.

"Chojiro explicitly only got Bankai for Yamamoto, Izuru is genuinely afraid of what his Bankai might be, Momo is better with kido than she ever might be with a Bankai and Nanao and Nemu don't even have zanpakutos."

"What about Marechiyo-san?"

"You don't even respect him enough to call him a Lieutenant." I pointed out immediately.

"Kotetsu-fukutaicho?" The man made no attempt to refute my words.

"Like Momo, Isane is better off leaning into her specialty, which is Kaido."

"Iba-fukutaicho?"

"Do you even know what his zanpakuto does?" I challenged.

"Hisagi-fukutaicho." He crossed his own arms over his chest, tilting his chin up like he just won the argument.

"I'm gonna deal with Shuhei on my own." The tattooed man's eye twitched.

"Matsumoto-fukutaicho."

"She's too busy being lazy to realize that the problem is that she's too lazy."

"…Kusajishi-fukutaicho." He tried.

"She is a Bankai." The man physically stuttered, retreating a couple steps as his face contorted in confusion and shock. "And before you embarrass yourself even further, Rukia is going to be the next Lieutenant of the 13th."

"And I was there when you started with her Bankai training." He sighed in defeat. "What are you trying to get at, then?"

"Well, I'm trying to help you get your proper Bankai, the thing is, it doesn't work if I just tell you. That's not how powers work. If it was, I would be a lot less stressed out." I muttered the last part under my breath. "So, you tell me: why did you start training for Bankai?"

"I don't-what am I supposed to say? 'Cuz I learned that Bankai is a thing at the Academy and figured everyone else trained for it?"

"Well, we both know that's a fucking lie." My own eyebrow twitched.

"But I did learn about Bankai at the Academy."

"I'm talking about you seriously thinking everyone at the Academy tried to learn Bankai."

"Oh, uh, yeah." Renji sheepishly kicked at the ground. "I did at first, okay?" One of my eyebrows shot up.

"You grew up in the Rukongai and seriously believed Academy students tried?"

"I-! I figured, y'know, that they were nobles, and that they would, y'know…" At this, the corner of my lips turned up knowingly.

"They would…?" I prompted teasingly.

"Y'know…think they were all that." He grumbled. "And that getting Bankai would be easy for them despite what the teachers said 'cuz they were nobles."

"Good. Keep thinking that. Because that's exactly what they think." I smirked. "So, you definitely didn't start learning Bankai because it was 'the thing to do'."

"Yeah, yeah." He relented. "I don't got a clue past that, though."

"Alright." I sighed, rolling my eyes. "Let's delve into this."

"What, are you a therapist, now?"

"We better fucking hope not." Came from my throat immediately. "I'd unironically suggest stabbing someone that pisses you off. But, you started training for Bankai at the Academy, yeah?"

"Not with any success." His shoulders shrugged. "Wasn't until I was moved around the Squads a couple times that I first managed to manifest Zabimaru."

"So, what Squad were you in when that happened?"

"Squad 6, of course."

"And, if you were to do your best to narrow down when you first came up with the idea to try for Bankai, when would it end up being?"

"Uh, a little bit after Rukia was adopted by the Kuchiki's and left the Academy." The redhead nodded to himself. I stared at him blankly, arms still crossed over my chest. After a moment of awkward silence on his part, he flopped his arms in minor exasperation. "I wouldn't, like, know the date or anything, man. That's honestly the best I can do. Right after Rukia left the Academy."

"Uh huh. So, we've got when you first wanted to get Bankai and your first breakthrough. Do you see any similarities between those two events?" I asked, like he was stupid. Because he was.

"…I…felt lonely…?" The idiot tried. "The first time, my best friend stopped talking to me to be adopted into one of the Four Great Noble Clans, and the second time, I had been put into a Squad that was completely different from any Squad I had been a part of before."

"…What was the first thing you did when you actually got Bankai?" I pushed.

"Oh, I fought Kuchiki-taicho!" He gave a self-assured grin.

"And, of all the things you could've done, why was that what you did?" My right hand lifted and waved for him to keep talking.

"Well," he looked up in thought, as he seemed to seriously ponder his own actions, "Kuchiki-taicho had mentioned a couple times that he would ensure Rukia's execution would go through, even if he had to kill her himself. So, I figured that if I took him out first, then that would be one less thing to worry about for stopping her execution. You know, covering my bases and all that."

"Okay, so again, are there any constants between those three events?" The pineapple shifted his arms to hold his chin in his right hand while his left arm supported his right.

"It's not because I felt lonely, because I was actually feeling real damn awesome when I went to go fight Kuchiki-taicho. Wait, actually, maybe it was, because I was afraid of losing Rukia-" I stepped forward and smacked the side of his head.

"You dimwit, Byakuya was the connecting factor in all of this." I groused. "He was the one that adopted Rukia into his family and took her away from you, you made your first breakthrough in your training when you got passed around into his Squad, and your first action after getting your Bankai was to fight him because you wanted to fight him."

"…Huh." He vocalized, his mouth agape. "That makes sense, but why is he so important for my Bankai?" Pleased we were finally getting somewhere, I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Because Byakuya puts a face to the name for you. Or a name to the face. No, no it's face to the name." I corrected myself, before clapping my hands together and pointing them at him. "You're spiteful as fuck."

"Yeah." Renji agreed easily.

"Byakuya, especially to people that don't know him that well, gives off the air that he looks down on everybody."

"Yup." His arms went back down to crossing over his chest.

"He's also the Clan Head of one of the Four Great Noble Clans, while you're some stray from the Rukongai."

"Mhm." The man nodded, following along without issue.

"Please dear God tell me you're realizing what I'm leading to." I pleaded. His head tilted in thought for a long second, before his eyes widened as clarity appeared in his brown orbs.

"Kuchiki-taicho is a…symbol, to me." He breathed. "I've always wanted to prove wrong all the people who thought I would never be able to make something of myself. And he's every example people gave for why I wouldn't make it. He's every Shinigami that told me I was just some brat that was a waste of food, every snobby rich noble that said I was dirtying the classrooms just by being there, every professor that told me I should quit while I was ahead." A fanged grin curled onto my face.

"There we go, halfway there." I announced.

"I…I first started training for Bankai because Kuchiki-taicho, the image of everyone that told me I deserved nothing, took Rukia away from me." The redhead realized. "I first manifested Zabimaru when I was assigned to be Kuchiki-taicho's unseated underling. I hunted him down for a fight because he thought peasants from the Rukongai weren't prestigious enough to acquire Bankai." Despite the vitriol of the words themselves, only pride dusted his words. A laugh escaped the man. "So, what, was all of this to help me understand that I wanted to be stronger to shove it in other people's faces?"

"Like I said, you're halfway there." I wagged my finger at him in the negative. "Why are you so focused on proving those people wrong? What makes you so determined to show them that you're not just some stray dog that got lucky? Why does it matter to you that they don't think you're good enough?" Newfound confidence backing him, Renji turned to himself once more as he sought to uncover his true motivation.

"..Because I hated the assumptions." He began, his eyebrows furrowed in thought. "I hated that people would take one look at me and think I was meant to stay in the dirt. I hated that they thought all those noble asshats were destined for greatness. I hated that every success I had was met with people thinking it was just a fluke. I hated that every failure a noble had was thought to be them just not putting in the effort. I hated the double standards. I…" A savage gleam appeared in his eyes. "I wanted to drown them with proof that I meant something. I wanted to beat them into the ground with the knowledge that I had value. I wanted to make it impossible for them to ignore that they were wrong. I wanted to roar so loud that it left them deaf that I decide what I can or can't do, no one else." He met my eyes, undiluted challenge. "I want to make Byakuya, the epitome of what everyone told me I could never stand equal to, look me dead in the eye and acknowledge my strength." I met his challenge.

"I don't need to explain anything else to you, right?" His right hand came up to the hilt of his sword and slowly drew it as he spoke.

"That 'free trial Bankai' Zabimaru gave me was because I did everything I needed to earn Bankai for all the wrong reasons. I wouldn't have let myself have a proper Bankai if I had been in their shoes." He turned his head to his left, and I followed his gaze to see two feral smirks aimed our way from a few meters away. Already, both Monkey and Snake held a copy of their Shikai in their hands. Snake was even standing on his feet, his tail swishing from side to side like a predator creeping up to its prey. "Now that I do know why I'm doing all this, I'm not gonna let myself be handed anything." The man turned towards his zanpakuto spirit with his blade ready and his fangs out for the world to see. "I'm going to earn it by taking it."

"Took you long enough." Monkey approved.

"Beat it out of us, the way you were supposed to the first time." Snake supported.

Omake

For Want of A Strawberry

My fingers rubbed circles in the back of my neck in my attempt to relieve some of the tension that had built up. A sigh partially of frustration and partially of minor relief left me as I trudged up the stairs of the clinic and towards my bedroom. So much planning, so much training, even when I trusted Kon to cover for me in school, I was pulled in so many directions. Yamamoto, the demon he was, and Kisuke, his enabler, had managed to get a system together where all the paperwork Unohana and I had to do was dropped in front of my house every morning that I was in the World of the Living. Yes, Unohana and I had paperwork. Between Unohana, Isane, and myself, it had actually not been difficult at all to get on top of all of the extra paperwork from the various incidents like plots to annihilate the Gotei 13 or attempts to assassinate nobility. Since Unohana and Isane didn't need any help keeping up with standard amounts of paperwork, Yamamoto had decided I had enough free time to deal with my own backlog. Apparently, War Preparation Leader wasn't just a title the ancient captain had pulled out of his ass, it was an actual position that was almost never filled out of the arrogant belief that such a person would be unnecessary. And it came with having to justify everything I did in preparation for the Blood War. Even worse, any time anyone that was seated (from 20th seat all the way up to Yamamoto himself) wanted to do something for the sake of preparing for the war, they had to submit paperwork asking for my permission to go through with it. Extra paperwork was necessary if they wanted to made some sort of adjustment to training that would affect Shinigami other than themselves, and especially if it affected Shinigami other than themselves, they also would have to justify why they were asking to do it in the first place.

I had made the joke before that all I needed to do whatever I wanted was to phrase it in such a way that it counted as preparing for war. I was now at the point where I was ready to beg people to find some way to not make it sound like preparing for war. The past few hours, I had been sitting at the kitchen table, taking sips of an iced coffee while I went through the seemingly endless papers I had to read over and sign. My general constitution seemed to make it so that I couldn't suffer carpal tunnel syndrome, but mental exhaustion was not something regeneration could take care of, leading to me needing a break. At the moment, Dad was at a medical conference, Unohana was grocery shopping with Yuzu and Karin, and Yoruichi was off doing something that resulted in her not being in the house. With no one to occupy my time with inside, I deigned to simply just lay down and take a short nap before getting back to paperwork. Entering my bedroom, I found all the lights were off and the shades drawn, leaving the room in near-complete darkness. It was only disturbed by the light from the hallway, which quickly was removed as I shut the door behind myself. Sighing once again, I thought about getting into more comfortable clothes than a shirt and jeans, but elected not to since I was just wanting to get a power nap in.

Going over to the bed, I pulled the covers back and flopped facedown onto the mattress. Immediately, I could tell that I was not alone in the bed, but I figured it must've been Yoruichi. That was strengthened by the fact that an arm quickly draped itself across my back and a leg curled up to wrap around one of mine. Closing my eyes while appreciating the warmth of another person, I allowed myself to start sinking into slumber. Then the arm over my back began to stroke along my spine, a slight stiffness to its movements like it was uncertain of its actions. Not long after, the leg began to do the same, awkwardly rubbing along my body out of sync with the arm. Just as I was about to wonder what the hell Yoruichi was doing, the body next to my pressed itself against my arm, and I could instantly tell that it was not Yoruichi. Rolling to my right, I managed to get my right arm under me so that it could snap out and blindly strike the intruder. There was a feminine grunt of pain as I struck what felt like a toned abdomen, and I pushed forward to slam the intruder against my bedroom wall. Getting my right knee under me for what stability I could get on top of a mattress, my left hand shot out and successfully wrapped around a slender throat. Hollowfying my eyes, the nocturnal vision of the spirit in question allowed me to make out what I had pinned to a wall.

"Soi Fon?!" I shouted in anger and disbelief. "What the fuck are you doing in my bed?! What the fuck are you wearing?!" To my great confusion, the assassin was…not wearing much. Atop her skin was sheer black babydoll dress and silk panties of the same color, leaving the space between her legs as the only part of her body which wasn't on display. Beyond that, nothing adorned her body.

"I…I asked Yoruichi-sama," she rasped, my hand remaining just loose enough around her neck that she could speak, "f-for tips in s-seduction. Th-this was h-her suggestion." Even despite her current handicap, I could still catch the embarrassment in her tone at even being in this position.

"I-! …Yeah, that-that sounds like something she would ask you to do to mess with me." My head hung in reluctant acceptance. Soi Fon's eyes looked off to the side in increased embarrassment.

"Sh-she does…not know why I asked." My eyebrows furrowed at her confession.

"What are you talking-" I cut myself off as Ossan clarified something for me, then narrowed my eyes dangerously. "…You did this so you could surprise Yoruichi by telling her you slept with me." An uneasy smile appeared on the bee's face as she remained silent.

A moment later, she was flung out my window.

A bland expression was on my face as I sauntered up to Soi Fon's office, a Hell Butterfly she had sent having informed me that she managed to reach a breakthrough in her Shunko training. She wanted me to confirm that she was indeed on the right path, and not accidentally backtracking. On one hand, from what I knew of Shunko, it was kind of hard to progress incorrectly, and so there was no point in checking that she was doing things right. On the other hand, I wasn't sure if it was impossible to fuck it up, and I technically was professionally obligated to keep tabs on the training of the Gotei 13. Thus, I stepped up to her office door and knocked.

"Kurosaki?" Her voice called out from inside. Confusion filled me.

"You can feel my reiatsu, why did you phrase that as a question?" I called in response.

"Just-wanted to be sure!" She spoke quickly. "Come in! Shut the door behind you!" Growing even further confused, I cautiously did as requested, finding the room to be…deprived of anyone inside? I tilted my head, truly befuddled, before I spotted the closet door creaking open. The assassin's head poked out from the opening, the rest of her body hidden inside and her face carefully controlled as she turned towards me.

"What are you doing in the closet?" I couldn't help but be baffled.

"You…often are accompanied by Unohana-taicho, Yoruichi-sama, or both." She explained. "I…wanted to confirm that you were not, and did not wish to be caught unprepared if you were."

"Caught unprepared for what? What does it matter if I'm by myself or not?" Her answer, was to silently step out from the closet, revealing herself once more in the lingerie she had been dressed in when she broke into my house. My face instantly returned to being blank. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"I…understood that, in my last attempt, you were…in a mood unsuited for such activities. I should have realized that you might have been inclined to simply rest after heavy paperwork. I can certainly sympathize." The bee explained.

"So, you figured try again when I'm in a better mood." I drawled.

"I do not often find interest in spending my free time in such a manner, but you, clearly, cannot say the same. In my time observing-"

"Since when have you started stalking me?" That was actually new information, I haven't sensed anyone following me. It was slightly concerning.

"In my time observing you," the assassin tried to push, "I have, pleasantly, discovered that you are similarly as diligent with responsibility as myself. I've also witnessed your, planning sessions, I guess you could call them, and the stress you have with trying to plan things out in such a manner that everything goes right. These past…few weeks, I have f-"

"Wait, you better not have watched us fuck." I warned her.

"I have found myself respecting you!" Her face flushed as she continued attempting to steamroll past my commentary. "And, as such, I've warmed up to the idea of spending time with you casually," Soi Fon took a small step forward, "and would enjoy appreciating some of your hobbies alongside you, rather than from a distance." My face still blank, I tossed around the idea of there being a degree of sincerity in her words.

"I'm up for that," I started, seeing her face turn a deeper crimson, "if you put on some clothes." Biting her lip in frustration, her fingers played with the ends of the babydoll.

"A-and, if I…find this style of dress…appealing?" It was cute that she was even trying.

"If you do, then you would have no problems with me throwing you directly at the grounds where most of your Squad is currently practicing." All the red on her face instantly disappeared as her eyes widened with fear.

"…You wouldn't." She worried.

"You've been 'observing' me the past few weeks, what part of my behavior indicates that I'm bluffing?" Her eyes remained locked onto mine for several seconds, trying to find cracks where there were none.

"…Fine." She huffed, turning back towards the closet. "Let me change, there's a candy shop that opened recently and I heard they have good chocolate."

"This would be a lot less frustrating for you if you stopped trying to sleep with me for Yoruichi's favor." I announced as she shut the door behind herself for privacy.

"I know!" She shouted.

WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT, I'M NOT DEAD! Good news, I should be getting back into my rhythm, fingers crossed I'll be posting a chapter to at least one of my stories every week.

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