Anxiously wiping off the sweat that had built up on his palms, Reiner descended the staircase that led into a tiny courtyard situated in the center of the Marlyean government buildings, trying to give off the impression that fresh air was the sole reason behind his presence there.
It certainly hadn't been because of Historia, barreling passed him outside President Wohl's office after what sounded like a very unfortunate meeting, who was sitting dejectedly on a bench that was half buried between the branches of the plants around her.
He ambled over to the bench awkwardly and sat down next to her, looking anywhere but at her tear-stained face. Not wanting to seem as though he was pumping her for information, he kept quiet; if she needed to talk about it, she would. Reiner simply sat, listening to the breeze ruffling the leaves around them and the chatter of employees passing by the open windows facing the garden.
Eventually she did speak, anger and sadness mingling together in her soft voice.
"Wohl denied my request to send another search party for Ymira."
Reiner dipped his head in understanding, having figured as much. Considering how sideways their first attempt had gone, he was not surprised that congress was hesitant to repeat it. The Jaegerist's reverence of Ymira meant that the threat to her life was low, and in the eyes of the government this fact didn't support another infiltration of the island; especially since the Eldians of Paradis were anticipating it.
"I'm sorry," He said, "If we had been there sooner-"
"No, don't do that to yourself. I owe all of you my life, and the only one to blame for this is me. I thought I was raising my daughter away from the truth to keep her safe, but really it was just my own selfishness. All I wanted to do was forget everything that happened and give Ymira the life I always dreamed of for myself."
"It's not selfish of you to want to protect your daughter and live a normal life, Historia." Reiner assured her.
"Maybe not but turning a blind eye and living in ignorance is. The secrets I chose to keep from her were as much for my own benefit as they were hers, and the determination I had to keep Ymira away from the same future I once had meant that if something like this did happen, she would be completely in the dark."
Tears were building in Historia's eyes once more as she gazed at him, defeated.
"I thought that for once I had made the right decision… but now my daughter is faced with the same nightmare I was, all the while knowing that her mother lied to her. At least my mother was honest."
The air stirred around them, sending a volley of leaves up into the air while Reiner carefully thought of the right thing to say in response to Historia's harrowing claims. Ultimately, he settled on honesty.
"It's true, maybe you did make the wrong decision by keeping Ymira from the truth about her father. The probability that the Jaegerists would eventually make the connection between you and Eren was always high; so is the chance that Ymira may come to resent you for it. I don't envy you for the position you're in, and I might not know what you're going through, but I do know what it's like to make choices for your family with the hope of keeping them safe.
Everything I ever did was to protect the people I cared about, and I was willing to kill anyone who stood in my way. My hatred was justified in my eyes, and I was so sure that my choice was the right one that when I learned the truth, it broke me. I still struggle to this day with the consequences of my actions, and the death toll that hangs over my head because of what I thought was right."
Reiner looked at her steadily, the ever-present guilt tightening around his heart as Historia returned his painful expression.
"The only thing either of us can do now is move forward; to try and make the next choice a little bit better than the last. We've beat the odds before, and I know we can do it again. We will get Ymira back, saving her from repeating the same mistakes we made, I promise you. Until then, whenever you're feeling like the worst person in the world, at least you're not the only one."
A ghost of a smile appeared on her lips, and she wiped the tears from her cheeks with the sleeve of her shirt.
"Worse people in the world certainly sounds less lonely."
Returning her dry smile, Reiner let the sudden stillness of the gardens surround them, and for the first time in many years, he didn't feel quite so alone.
Just as the time they spend preparing for Historia's rescue had blended into a mass of planning and exertion, the days spent huddled behind of the protective walls of the Veritas Congress building felt much the same. Armin was utilizing nearly every waking moment to pour over the Marotsara texts; the members of his team rotating between providing him with support or assisting in translating and milling about the hallways, aimless and worried.
Onyankopon stopped in once a week, though he barely had the time to say much more than a quick hello before he was whisked away to President Wohl's office, high ranking military officials trailing close behind. Since their return, organized attacks from Marlyean extremist groups had grown exponentially in the wake of Miles Darcy's curious "escape" from his cell; aimed assaults on safe houses being their primary target.
This was theorized to be part of some ploy to flush out the Paradis team, but to what end no one could be certain of. Given the knowledge that the Jaegerists had their own covert units stationed on the mainland just as they had for the island, information Arya had shared the moment they had touched on solid ground, it was safe to assume that Darcy's particular group of extremists were working in tandem with the will of the Council. This fact was concerning on its own; combined with the assumption that sections of the Veritas military had been infiltrated to allow for Darcy's escape, this added even further stress to the already thinly spread government.
The cities and towns scattered across Marly were already in an intense scuffle over everything from resources and funding to individual hierarchies and jurisdictions; now the people were beginning to whisper amongst one another, frustration and fear mingling together in their quiet concerns. Although the surviving human population outnumbered the Jeagerist collective a hundred to one, their drive for peace paled in comparison to New Eldia's determination and vengeance. Would their ruling government be able to protect them from the threat of Paradis hanging over their heads when they could barely take care of the issues they already faced?
Every thought in the free world was the same: hadn't they suffered enough? Were the people of this Earth destined to face tragedy after tragedy, until the day everyone thought that they would have been better off allowing the Rumbling to wipe them from existence? Did humanity truly deserve the peace they now craved, or was this the just reality for a civilization hell bent on the suffering of their fellow man?
The greatest fear, though, lied solely in one simple question: for better or for worse, for good or for evil, or for retribution of their war-mongering ways…
Had Eren been right?
Despite the near constant protection detail placed upon the survivors of Mitras, there was one portion of the day that allowed anyone eager enough to leave to do so unnoticed, as long as they were willing to lose some sleep over it.
It was in the wee hours of early morning that Mikasa stealthily made her way from the parliament building and through the empty streets of Veritas, heading for the most Easternly section of the harbor. She was unsure if she would find him here, but then again, this would be where she went if she needed to escape from watchful eyes; who's to say Levi wasn't the same?
Hood drawn deep over her face, Mikasa walked the cobbled path along the coast from the shipyard and over a low hill; the peninsula that once was home to the navel town of Odiha coming into view. Standing tall against the night sky before the land met the water was a stone-carved monument, the near moonless night painting it an eerie gray against the equally dark waves.
The same kind of feeling she had while under Eren's tree lived here as well; an aching loss so profound it almost made her choke, but it also offered up a deep sense of catharsis. Hange was everywhere Mikasa looked; bright and ferocious and kind and terrifying all at once. Even though the structures had been annihilated, smoothed out and replaced with the sober park she now walked across, Mikasa couldn't help but wonder if she was passing over the exact place where Zoe Hange died. The unmarked grave of one of humanity's truest heroes.
From what she gathered, this statue caused a great amount of discord between the Eldians and Marlyeans of Veritas: The former praising its' construction as a beautiful tribute to the ones who saved what was left of the world from certain death, the latter claiming it was an abomination glorifying the people who played an integral part in the fall of civilization. Mikasa thought that both of those descriptions were true.
In the end, though, the mainland just needed somewhere to mourn and feel their grief, so this pillar of stone that now loomed above her was built; a pillar that now held a shadowy figure atop its flattened peak.
Levi didn't address her as she settled down beside him, legs dangling over the edge and into the open space below them. Mikasa gazed out over the waves crashing against the coast for a good while, listening to the lull of the tides that were slowly eroding away the earth and rocks, and would continue to do so until the day that everything fell into the sea.
Though the night offered very little light, a sharp glint of metal caught her eye on Levi's lap, and she studied the prosthesis attached to his hand. When he noticed her examining it, he lifted his arm and turned it back and forth, flexing his palm in a way that caused the steel fingers to bend.
"I didn't know something like that was possible." Mikasa said as the small harness pulled on the appendages, allowing for an almost perfect rendition of natural hand movement. "Full of surprises, isn't she?"
"That's one way to put it." Levi muttered, returning his arm back to its' place on his lap. "Look, if you're here for answers, I'm afraid you've come to the wrong place."
So, he knew why she had sought him out; not that it was surprising.
"You're telling me you have no idea why the two of you have such an intense connection to one another?" When he didn't answer her question, she pressed on.
"I was there, Levi. I watched you fight around each other like you were one and the same; a singular being with more power than I've ever seen, besides a titan. How can you not want answers for that?"
"Sometimes the truth is worse than the question." He said simply, and Mikasa was taken aback.
Levi was undoubtably intelligent, even if he wasn't the scholarly type, but his apparent lack of interest in the reason behind his bond with Arya confused her. How could he have so little drive to understand why he was so bound to another person? Mikasa didn't pretend to know him any better than the rest of them, especially since she had been separated from him for so long, but the Levi she had known would never have accepted something like this so easily.
It was a reminder of how pain and loss could change a person, and she was sure that even someone like Levi wasn't completely immune to it given where they now sat. Yet even as Mikasa tried to rationalize the meaning behind his apathy, she still couldn't make sense of it. Sure, Arya had healed him, and that was bound to make it easier to accept, but what was it about her that made him hesitate to find out why?
A thought appeared to her then: hadn't she been asked time and time again why she didn't dig deeper into the connection she felt for Eren? Mikasa had never truly gotten an answer, but she had always been afraid to question it. That was vastly different than this, though, since the reason behind her hesitation was because-
"You're afraid to lose her." She said in surprise, staring at Levi with her mouth open, and he looked over at her sharply.
"I don't live this life alongside anyone I'm not willing to live without, and this monument is a perfect example of why." Despite his cold words, the tenseness around his eyes contradicted them, if only slightly.
He cares for her. Mikasa thought incredulously, still staring at his profile once he turned his sights back to the waves. This was the last thing she had expected, and somehow this development confused her even more than the reason behind the energy they shared. Or rather, the energy they all shared.
"I could feel it to, you know." She whispered, instantly regaining Levi's attention. "While you were fending off the Jaegerists trying to stop our escape. Something about the way you moved together, building energy like the eye of a hurricane… it had me fighting myself to keep from joining you. If that is even a fraction of the power you feel when you're next to her, I can understand your reasons for not wanting to question it."
Yes, she knew that all too well: the power one can feel when protecting someone who means more to you than your own life; for if they were to die, you would die along with them. Most days she wished that she had.
Mikasa intended to drop the line of conversation after she was once again met with silence, but she couldn't contain her curiosity.
"What does it feel like?"
He didn't answer her at first, but after several long minutes of looking at him expectantly, Levi let out a heavy sigh.
"Like we are an extension of each other, drawing from the same collective energy source." He said flatly, eyebrows knitting together in a look of frustration. "More than once I could feel her fear and her pain."
Mystified, Mikasa mulled over the implications of such an unheard-of occurrence in her head. Was there any other circumstance like theirs that she could compare this to? Not that herself nor Levi could be compared to the average person; their shared lineage made sure of that.
"Do you think it has something to do with the Ackerman bloodline?"
Levi shook his head. "If you're talking about that stupid "call to duty" that Ackerman's seem to have, then no, this is not the same. Besides, that theory was only for members of the royal bloodline; Arya is Underground scum just like me."
This stumped her. "Armin seems to think that it's related to all the other strange things that have been going on." Mikasa said, thoughtfully.
He scoffed in response, gathering himself to his feet and looking down at her. "Well if our great commander believes it, it must be fact. Come on, dawn's not that far off."
There was a bitter edge to his statement that took Mikasa off guard, but she had already pressed Levi enough as it was. She hadn't expected very much from this attempt at conversation, and the sky was indeed starting to lighten; it would do them no good if their absence from their beds was noted come morning. She got to her feet alongside him and made for the edge of the stone obelisk, but paused when she realized he was still standing in the same place, regarding her with one of his character-defining frowns.
"Why did you keep the truth about Historia's daughter to yourself? The man you loved had a child to someone else; someone who knew of your feelings and yet went along with it anyway. How could you face that every day and not go crazy?"
Levi was clearly uncomfortable asking such a personal query, and Mikasa's cheeks flushed with color at his point-blank observation. She had given her answer to this obvious question several times already: to President Wohl, Armin, and Historia herself years ago, but this time around she figured it was better not to edit her response. Reaching up adjust the scarf that wasn't there, Mikasa looked at her feet.
"I did go crazy at first… I was angry, hurt; even jealous. I didn't understand why he had chosen someone else after all the years I spent dedicating myself to him, and the pain of that truth stung for a very long time.
Until one day, when Ymira was barely a year old, and I found myself alone with her for the first time. I could barely look at her; this mewling infant that was a constant reminder of how many times Eren had picked Historia over me, and I hate both myself and Ymira for it. But that afternoon she had come to me, barely able to crawl, all wide-eyed and smiling…
It was then I understood that this innocent child didn't deserve the loathing that I had put on her. She hadn't asked to be born into this world, just the same as the rest of us. More so it hit me that Eren hadn't made this choice because he had chosen Historia, but that in his mind it was the only way he thought he could keep her safe, just as he had made that choice for every one of us."
Tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear, Mikasa looked up at Levi's wary expression.
"When it truly comes down to it, I guess I stayed because even thought Eren was gone, there was still a piece of him on this earth; a walking, talking, breathing piece of him that cared for me. You can call me a fool for it if you want, I don't really care. All that matters to me now is getting her back and returning to Eren's grave, and nothing is going to get in my way."
Sticking to the recuring theme of this exchange Levi said nothing, only watching her reaction carefully with a guarded look on his face. Mikasa sighed and turned to leap down from their perch, but not before throwing a sideways glance over her shoulder in his direction.
"Talk to Arya, Levi. Don't make the same mistake I did."
And with that she hit the ground; taking off at a quick jog away from the brightening horizon and into the shadows still left from the warm night, leaving him to follow silently in her wake.