They both stand, staring at each other, neither knowing the best move to make.
Santana decides to make the first move and steps forwards, as she does, Quinn steps back.
"Qui-" She starts but is cut off.
"Please Santana.. don't. Just don't." She finishes quietly, walking past her girlfriend, slapping the letter against her chest on her way past and storms from the apartment building.
The Latina turns around but Quinn is already out of sight. She kneels down to pick up the letter and makes her way to the apartment, still holding the coffee and breakfast, along with her sealed fate.
When she opens the apartment door, she still sees Blaine, Cedes and Kurt joking around, but when they spot her demeanour and the fact that she's alone, the mood suddenly turns somber.
She places the breakfast on the kitchen table, they recently acquired, and holds the letter up.
"Quinn found this in the mailbox."
And all three faces change to portray shock.
"Where is she?" Cedes asks from her place on the couch.
"She told me to not say anything, threw it at me and left. So I don't know." Santana says, fiddling with the envelope in her hands.
"Open it and then I'll go and look for her." Cedes jests.
Santana moves to the living room and sits on the armchair, alone.
She slowly takes the letter from the envelope, scanning through it. The silence in the room is deafening, until she eventually looks up, "I have five days." She says, before getting up and making her way into the bathroom, giving no one chance to speak.
The three remaining look at each other wide-eyed before Blaine speaks, "You two go and find Quinn. I'll talk to her when she comes out."
They both nod, not sure what to say and get up to move. Kurt kisses the top of Blaine's head before they both put on their shoes and leave the apartment.
"She isn't picking up, so where should we look first?" Kurt asks.
"Considering she hasn't had anything to eat or coffee yet, I'd say we try 'Frankie's'. Mercedes replies.
Frankie's is the coffee shop, which Santana had just brought their breakfast from. Quinn discovered it one day when she decided to go for a walk and explore the city alone. She was so excited she dragged all of them out to experience it.
Mercedes and Kurt hailed a taxi and jumped in, "Do you think she's going to be okay?" Kurt asks lowly.
"I have no idea. But what I do know is she has five days left to spend with her girl, she needs to make the most of it because I know that San is back there thinking of ways to make this easier and I'm sure you know, just as well as I do, what that is. And we both know that deep down Quinn doesn't want that."
Kurt sighs and nods, he knows that Quinn would be broken if they were to break up, especially with Santana leaving and then not communicating, not knowing if she was safe.
They both seem to be in a daze and are snapped out of it when the cab pulls to an abrupt stop. Kurt pays him and they both get out, standing outside their destination.
It's a relatively small cafe, cozy. It's walls are littered with books and tables are surrounded with comfy chairs. Everyone knowing that Quinn uses this as a safe haven when things are too much, somewhere that she can escape reality for a little while, in one of the many stories that encompass you upon entrance.
Lone behold, the blonde can be seen through the glass window at the front of the store. She's sitting near the back, next to another small window, in a large armchair, one that makes her look so fragile and small, with her knees pulled into her chest and a cup of coffee, encircled by her hands.
As the duo get closer, they can see her eyes are swollen and puffy, tell-tale signs of her crying recently.
The cafe is relatively empty, so their footsteps can be heard clearly as they approach the lonely girl, causing her to look up. She sees them and instantly turns away again, continuing to stare at the people bustling in the busy streets.
They both sit and say nothing for a while, until Mercedes can't take it anymore.
"Q, she has five days." She blurts out.
Quinn's head whips around and her eyes instantly fill and her chin begins to wobble. She assumed that she would maybe have a couple of weeks to prepare, she definitely didn't expect for it to happen so quickly.
"F-five?" She stutters out, tears now free-falling.
Kurt moves his chair around so that he can rub her back.
"Yeah, honey. She leaves in five days." He says regretfully.
At this point, Quinn has burst into sobs. Kurt pulls her into his shoulder over the arm of the chair as she continues to weep, whilst stuttering out the occasional sentence.
"I don't want her to go." She mumbles into him, which causes his own eyes to tear up, listening to the heartbreak in his friends voice, knowing that it's something he, himself, is going have to go through.
He makes eye contact with Mercedes, who also looks emotional, and they share a worried look.
"What if some- something hap- happens to her? I-I-I can't go thr-through that.."
At this point, Mercedes moves her chair around to the other side of Quinn and rubs her back.
They sit for a while in silence, Quinn's sobs turning to whimpers as Kurt and Cedes continue to comfort her, before she looks up from Kurt's shoulder.
"How is she?" Quinn croaks out, realising she's not even thought about how this may affect her other half.
"She didn't really say anything. She told us what the letter said and then walked away before any of us could speak." Mercedes says before pausing, knowing that Quinn may not appreciate what's she's going to say right now but will eventually.
"Q, please try and remember that this is hard for her too. You weren't in her plans when she made this decision. She's leaving everyone she loves behind to go into the unknown. We're at least going to have each other to lean and support us, she has no one out there."
"That's her decision Cedes! She wants to leave us behind." Quinn begins to raise her voice, tensing her body defensively.
"Quinn, that's not true and you know it." Kurt inputs and immediately Quinn's shoulders slump.
"She will have someone, she'll have Blaine." She mumbles out and the other two share a confused look.
"Q, Blaine didn't get his deployment letter yet. They aren't leaving together.." Kurt reveals softly.
"She- she's going... alone?" She asks, receiving nods from her friends.
She begins to feel emotional again, before she announces that they need to leave and they all get up to hail a cab.
Meanwhile, as Santana leaves the bathroom after a long shower, she sees Blaine sitting alone on the couch, but he stands up as soon as he hears movement.
"Are you okay?" He asks.
"What do you think Blaine? As if this isn't hard enough already, she's now going to cut me out? I can't do right from wrong, we knew it was going to happen so.." She says, dipping her head.
"Come and sit down." He beckons and Santana obediently moves to the other end of the couch and sits down.
"Look, I know this is hard, for both of you. But you need to communicate, she doesn't want to listen? You make her. And then you sit down and listen to her too. This is it now, you have less than a week to get this in order Sis." He reasons.
"What if I can't make this work? I think it's too much. She doesn't wan-" Santana starts but Blaine quickly jumps in.
"Don't even finish that sentence. Quinn does want you and you know it. She just wants all of you here, all of the time San and it's going to take some getting used to. None of you could have suspected this would happen when you reunited."
"I don't want to hold her back B. I don't want her sitting around worrying about me. Wallowing, sitting by the phone or the mailbox, waiting for some kind of sign that we're okay."
"I hate to break it to you, but whether you're together or you break this off, she's still going to be doing them things, because her feelings are not going to just turn off. If you're not together, she'll probably worry more, there's no doubt in my mind that she loves you more than anything San, and if you aren't calling or sending letters because you're not together, she's going to be more stressed."
"I can't be good enough for her Blaine. She deserves more.. I'm going to call Mami." Santana says defeatedly before leaving the living room and heading towards the bedroom she shares with Quinn.
As Blaine is conjuring a plan to help his sister, the others return and can tell that something has happened, due to the atmosphere in the apartment.
Cedes and Kurt sit either side of Blaine and Quinn stands awkwardly behind them.
Blaine speaks without looking up from the spot he's staring at on the floor. "She's talking to Mami."
Quinn continues to stand around hopelessly, waiting for some kind of sign that the two of them can have the much needed conversation.
Soon, Santana emerges from the bedroom, with red eyes and the phone still in her hand, "Blaine Mam-" She starts, but stalls as she notices the other presence in the room.
As his sister seems to be frozen in her spot, he gets up and takes the phone from her hands and heads into his and Kurt's bedroom.
Quinn decides that she can't wait any longer and doesn't want the awkwardness to grow, so she walks towards her girlfriend, takes her hand and drags her towards their room.
Once in there, Quinn drops Santana's hand and they stand stiffly infront of each other, both staring at the ground, fiddling with their own hands.
The blonde looks up and can see the turmoil in her girlfriend's face, something that she wishes wasn't there, she hates to see the love of her life so defeated.
She launches herself at Santana, who stumbles back unprepared for the contact, and wraps her arms tightly around the tanned neck. She buries her face into raven hair and the tears begin to escape again.
"I'm so sorry Tana.." She hiccups and Santana cuddles Quinn back tightly.
"It's okay Lucy Q." She mumbles into the pale neck of her girlfriend.
"It's not. I can't be mad at you. I'm just so upset and I'm scared and I don't know how to deal with you being gone."
Santana is silent as she decides the best way to approach her next conversation.
"Come and sit down." She says before retracting her body from Quinn's and guiding them to the bed.
Quinn sits on the edge, as Santana drags the desk chair opposite her and sits down.
"Tana? Are you okay? You're scaring me.."
Santana takes a deep breath, "Quinn, you know that I love you. I love you more than anything and anyone but we need to think about this realistically.."
"What are you trying to say?" Quinn chokes out, tears still free falling.
"I'm trying to say that.. I need you to make sure that this is what you want. If you don't, I will never hold that against you, I will still love you. But I'm about to be gone, no one knows how long for and you're going to be here. Now is the right time for us to part if you think it's best.." She explains sombrely.
Santana doesn't want to break up, nothing will ever replace Quinn in her heart but this isn't about her anymore. She's accepted that this might not be the right time for them.
Quinn looks at her with disbelief before taking her own deep breath, "How many times are we going to have this conversation? The last thing that I want is for us to break up, I need you."
"Quinn, just listen to me, please? I know you don't want to break up, I don't want that either. You think this conversation is easy for me? But this isn't about me anymore, I've made my bed and I need to lie in it. You, you're my main priority, always, and I need to make sure you aren't just saying this because you don't want to upset me. This has to be what you want and what's best for you. Just take 24 hours to think about it, really think about it.. please?"
Quinn stands up and straddles Santana, wiping away the tears she wasn't aware had fallen, and leaves her hands resting on tanned cheeks.
"Lovebug, I don't want 24 hours to think about it. I know that what I want is you, the good, the bad, the ugly, everything. I'm going to be emotional about you leaving, you've been there for so long now. We've been inseparable, we've shared a bed for nearly 3 years and now, I'm going to go to bed, alone, wishing I was wrapped in your arms, the only place where I feel 100% safe, because you've always been my hero.
And now, you're leaving and I don't know when I'm going to get to feel your lips on mine, your fingers intertwined with mine or your bare flesh on mine again. I'm not going to wake up to your raspy voice or your arms wrapping around me when I'm struggling.
I'm going to miss every single part of you and I haven't quite worked out how to deal with that yet but I know that what I definitely can't deal with is you coming home and me not being the first in your arms. Me, not being the person you desire to see the most. And me not being the person that falls asleep in your arms for the rest of our lives. I love you baby, forever and always. There will never be anyone else, I can't let you go. You are what's best for me, you always will be."
She finishes her monologue and leans their foreheads together, both girls silently crying.
Santana tilts her head slightly upwards to capture Quinn's lips between her own as they share a sweet kiss.
"I love you more Lucy Q." She says, before standing up with Quinn in her arms and laying her gently down on the bed, drawing back the covers and they both crawl beneath them, Quinn curling into her waiting arms.
They both fall into a deep sleep, instigated from the emotional turmoil of the morning. Quinn sleeping, knowing that she needs to make the most of the next few days.
When Santana wakes from her nap, she rubs the sleep from her eyes with her right hand, as her left arm is still tucked securely around Quinn, who is breathing softly, slight puffs of air escaping her lips and hitting Santana's neck.
She grabs her phone from the bedside table and sees they've been asleep for about 2 hours, so she presses her lips to Quinn's forehead and gently strokes her fingers through the sleeping girls hair.
Quinn stirs and nestles further into Santana's arms, "Don't make me move yet." She mumbles almost incoherently, placing soft kisses against Santana's neck.
"We don't have to move but you need to wake up baby love.." The Latina replies, slipping her fingers under Quinn's t-shirt to draw patterns on her lower back.
"Hmmm" Quinn sighs contently.
They lie, basking in each other's presence, both stroking bare skin of the other.
"What's going on in your head pretty girl? I can hear your cogs turning from up here."
"We're okay, right?" Quinn asks quietly, stopping her ministrations, placing her hand flat against Santana's abdomen and sits up so that they're eye to eye.
"I think so. Do you not, is something bothering you? Have you changed your mind?" Santana says, scrunching her brow and trying to move but Quinn pushes her back down, responding quickly.
"No, no, no. God baby, no. Definitely not changed my mind." She replies reassuringly and leaning down to place a lingering kiss on the Latina's lips.
When she pulls back, she traces Santana's facial features with her fingers, memorising her favourite parts, "I love you Tana. I love you so much, don't ever doubt that. I can't help but be worried about you and I know that Blaine isn't going too and that makes me uneasy, you know?" She explains, getting emotional.
Santana quickly intercepts the lone tear, "No more crying mi amor. Everything's going to be okay, this is what I've trained most of my life for. You need to trust that I know what I'm doing and that I'm prepared, okay? I'm going to come home to you and it'll be like I've never been away.. I promise."
Quinn quickly shakes her head, "Please don't make promises you can't keep." She says, pulling her hand away from her face and places it in its former position on Santana's stomach.
"I can keep it. I will keep it." She says sternly, sitting upright and making sure to look straight into her girlfriends hazel orbs, which are spiralling with anxiety and worry but also passion and love.
"I will come back to you Luce, because this is where I belong and I'm not ready to let it go yet." Santana adds, placing her hand over Quinn's heart.
"Okay." The blonde whispers in response and crawls up to sit in her girlfriend's lap, where she's welcomed with open arms, resting her head on Santana's shoulder. Santana wraps her arms securely around Quinn's waist and presses her lips longingly against her forehead.
Both in deep thought about the next few days, what they will bring and how to make them special.