It's been a week since Santana was deployed. Quinn, Mari, Mercedes and Kurt all accompanied Blaine to the airport to see him off and there were almost as many tears from Kurt as Quinn cried when Santana left.
When the remaining 4 returned home, the apartment was quiet and it felt as though there were parts missing, considering Santana and Blaine were always such a large presence.
Quinn has yet to hear from Santana and it worries her, even though she knows that the mail is slow and she may not have the equipment to call home.
She's missing her Tana like never before. The blonde finds herself walking around in either the boxers that she left behind or an item of her clothing all the time, just so that she can smell her or feel her close.
Kurt has been relatively subdued also since Blaine left but Mercedes has been a rock for them all.
However, three of them have been helping Maribel search for somewhere to live so that has been a great distraction. She had decided that she didn't need a large home anymore as it was just her and she was at work most of the time anyway, so they have narrowed it down to just searching for apartments.
It's now 3:33AM on the Monday morning of which the teens will be starting college and Quinn is awaken by an incessant buzzing on her nightstand. When she realises where the noise is coming from she jumps to answer the phone, seeing an unknown number calling.
"Tana?" She says hurriedly into the receiver.
Her heart pounds as she hears crackling through the speaker before the voice she's been longing for.
"Q? Can you hear me?" Santana asks, still shuffling to find signal on the other end of the line.
"Tana? I'm here baby, I can hear you." Quinn whimpers, suddenly overwhelmed.
"Morning mi princesa."
"Morning lovebug." Quinn cries, happy tears flowing over her porcelain cheeks.
"It's actually midday here which means it's extremely early for you. I guess I didn't realise, I'm sorry."
"No. No. Don't apologise. God Tana, I miss you so much, I'm so happy to hear your voice. Are you okay?"
"Me too baby love, I miss you too. I just wanted to call because I know you start school today, I wanted to wish you good luck. And yes, I'm fine. Are you alright?"
"You are too cute. Thank you. I'm a little nervous now I'm awake but other than that, I'm okay."
"Well don't be, I know you'll show them all who Quinn Fabray is." Santana said with a small chuckle, making Quinn giggle too. "Listen baby, I've sent you all letters out, they should be arriving soon if they haven't already because I sent them a few days ago, but I'm being shipped out on a mission today for a couple weeks so I won't be able to call or write. Please don't worry though, I'll call you as soon as I'm back." She tries to say optimistically.
Quinn sits quietly on the receiving end of the call, not sure what to say. She hates the idea of minimal contact with Santana, never mind none.
"Q? Q, you there?" Santana asks, not having heard the blonde for around 30 seconds.
"Yeah. Yeah, I'm here."
"You heard me, right?"
"I heard you. I was just thinking."
"Okay. Don't think about it too much. This is normal, it's nothing to worry about. When I get back, hopefully I'll be able to Skype you, see that pretty face of yours. I talk to your picture at night, you know? Tell you about my day and that I love you."
"I talk to you too. I've made a few videos as well."
This made Santana grin widely.
"That's great Q. Did you like it then?"
"At first I thought it was a little weird but now.. I think it's really romantic Tana. The fact that you don't want to miss anything in my life, it just shows me how much you care."
"You know how much I care darling but I have to go and get ready now and you need some more sleep. I will speak to you soon."
"Okay Tana. Be careful and remember you need to come home to me." Quinn says desperately.
"Soon baby, soon. I love you my angel, get some rest and good luck."
"Thank you lovebug. I love you, so much. Bye."
With that, the line went dead and Quinn was all alone again. Her emotions got the better of her and she shed a few tears before regaining some composure and making a video.
When she'd finished, she crawled back into bed and pulled Santana's pillow close to her, managing to coax her body into a few more hours of sleep.
The first few days of school go quickly for Quinn, she's enjoying NYU immensely, it's exactly what she dreamed it would be. Her lectures are interesting and her lecturers are captivating, they all seem to have a deep passion for their subjects.
She arrives home in the afternoon always around the same time as her flat mates, who also seem to be enjoying their courses at NYADA and NYU also. They all either go out to explore the city together or stay in and cook and watch movies. They've been forming a strong bond over the past week or so and Mercedes is proud of how the other two are handling their situations, she was expecting a lot more tears.
Maribel had returned to Lima the day after Quinn had spoken with Santana and she had found an apartment she was happy with and it was only 5 blocks away from the teens, which they were all pleased about. The older Latina handed in her months work notice when she returned so that she'd be all set to make the move to NY as soon as the apartment was ready.
The three are sitting around watch re-runs of of Americas Next Top Model when Kurt's phone begins ringing and he jumps from the couch, running into his room to answer it with a wide smile.
Mercedes looks over to Quinn, who despite it being warm outside is bundled in Santana's favourite hoodie and the blanket they often share, and sees her looking solemn and lost.
She moves over to sit beside the blonde who seems in her own world. "Quinn? You okay?" Cedes asked but receives no response. She waves her hand gently infront of the zoned out girl.
"Q?" She whispered, finally gaining her attention.
"Sorry. I was somewhere else, what's up?"
"How are you? And don't feed me that crap about you being fine.. You can talk to me."
Quinn took one look at Mercedes and the facade that she'd had in place for the last few days was slipping. After speaking with Santana, she felt much better when she woke the next morning, but her positivity declined rapidly the longer they didn't speak for. She knew that Santana wouldn't contact her for a while, she did, but that didn't make the radio silence easier. Santana was off on a 'mission', something obviously dangerous that Quinn had absolutely no idea about, she just wanted that reassurance that her love was okay.
"I feel lost Cedes. I miss her more than I ever thought possible. I know it's not healthy to depend on her as much as I do, but every inch of me aches for her. For her touch, her voice, her love, just.. every part of me misses her." Quinn explains as a lone tear escapes the corner of her eye. "And don't get me wrong, it's great that Kurt and Blaine are speaking every day or every other day but it just reminds me that I can't have that.. at least not now."
Quinn was right, Blaine had been deployed but hadn't immediately gone onto the front line. He was doing minor works around hospitals etc and returned to his bunk near enough every night so Kurt's contact was almost constant.
Mercedes moved closer to the blonde and embraced her, Quinn settling her head on her friends shoulder. "You are doing amazing Quinn. You aren't completely dependant on her, you are up everyday, doing what you need to do, you are surviving and San will be so proud of you for that. It's okay to miss her. She's your lover, your best friend and you've loved each other for 11 years, together or not! And as happy as I am for Kurt at the moment, he will soon realise that he's going to be in your position more times than he's going to be in theirs now. It's not fair but life isn't." Mercedes twists slightly so that she can look at Quinn and really drive her point home. "She's going to call soon, you have about a week to go and I'm sure her letters will be here soon, then you'll have a piece of her." She finished with a smug smile.
Quinn let out a soft giggle and wiped the remaining tears from her eyes. "You're right. Thank you Cedes. I really needed that." She embraced her firmed tightly and left a quick kiss to her cheek.
"Glad to hear it girl. Now I just had a fantastic idea." With that, the black girl rises from her seat and heads towards Quinn and Santana's room. She comes back a few minutes later with something behind her back and Quinn raises an eyebrow inquisitively. "I don't know if you've forgotten about this, but I remember seeing it when we were unpacking and I think now is the perfect time."
"For what?" Quinn asks curiously.
Mercedes face splits into a huge grin as she pulls the jar of 'A million reasons why I love you' from behind her back, which also causes Quinn to split into a beaming smile of her own. Cedes hands over the jar and reclaims her spot next to Quinn on the couch, while she admires the gift given to her for comfort when Santana left for training.
"Come on then, pull one out! I wanna know if they're all romantic." Mercedes blurted out with a cheeky smirk.
Quinn wasted no more time removing the lid and digging her hand into the hundreds of slips of multicoloured paper. She pulled out a light green one and as she began to open it, she felt her heart rate increase dramatically.
She looked down and read 'I love the way that your cheeks blush deeply when you receive a compliment.' And as if on cue, a dark shade of pink tinged her porcelain cheeks, causing Mercedes to laugh softly.
Quinn repeatedly stared at the note in her hand for a few more seconds whilst her heart rate slowed down. "Thank you." She said, moving her head in the direction of her friend, "For this." Lifting the jar up slightly before lowering it back down to her lap. "I had forgotten about it, but I really really needed that."
"No problem baby girl. Leave it out and you read them when you need to, she will always write more when she come home, we both know that. Now you look exhausted, maybe make a video and get some sleep. You know where I am if you need anything, any time." She said, emphasising that last sentence.
Quinn nodded before standing, giving Mercedes one last hug and another 'thank you' before dragging herself back to bed. She stripped her pyjama bottoms so that she was just in boxers and her hoodie, grabbed the bear Santana won for her from their carnival date and set the camera up.
"Hey baby, it's 24th September 2015.
I miss you. It's been 6 days since you left for your first mission and I'm apprehensive, I'm worried and I just feel lost.
I miss your touch, your sweet kisses and the way you just know when somethings wrong and you take me in your arms. I miss the way you hold me at night, it's like you keep me safe from everything and we're in our own little bubble. I can't wait till you're back in our bed again.
I had a good chat with Cedes tonight, she reminded me about this." She hold the jar up and then clearly shows the camera the message she pulled out. "You're really sweet and I really needed that tonight so thank you. I'll thank you in advance for them all because I need them.
Kurt and Blaine are getting to talk every night and as happy as I am for them, it's really hard for me. Night time is when it's the hardest because I can try and stay busy in the day but as soon as I'm home I'm waiting for you to walk through that door and envelope me with your smell and hear your voice that my body longs for, but it never comes. I'm okay though, Mercedes is a god send.
Anyway, I know you won't see this until you're here but I hope you come home soon. I need you and I really miss you.
I love you Tana." She finishes by blowing a kiss and then turns the camera off.
The blonde crawls back into bed and curls her body around Santana's pillow and the stuffed animal before trying to sleep.
Mercedes had been lying in her bed for around 45 minutes before she heard an ear piercing scream flood the apartment. She jumped from her bed and flung her bedroom door open, she quickly scanned the hallway for a potential threat, seeing none, she ran towards the source of the noise. Opening Quinn's door, she saw the blonde thrashing around from beneath the covers.
The blonde was wailing like a banshee but there were no coherent words. She rushed to the bedside and quickly tried to coerce Quinn into waking up. All of a sudden, her hazel eyes flew open and her body shot into an upright position, she was panting heavily and her chest was heaving.
Scared eyes were searching the room and Mercedes decided to turn on the bedside lamp, hoping it would help the blonde recognise her surroundings.
"It's okay Quinn. You're safe here, it's okay." She whispered.
Mercedes could see that Quinn was slowly relaxing, a sheen of sweat perching across her brow from her troubled sleep and pure trepidation filling her. The blonde slowly nodded along to the soothing words, realising there was no threat.
"Are you okay?" Mercedes asked softly.
"Yeah, I'm sorry if I woke you."
"It's okay. Come on, you need to have a wash and get changed, you're sweating." Mercedes cooed.
Quinn reluctantly got out of bed, gathered another pair of Santana's boxers and her favourite army t-shirt before dragging herself towards the bathroom. Before she closed the door, she popped her head back out and called for Mercedes.
When Cedes appeared before her, she suddenly became shy. "Would it- would it be okay if I stayed with you for the rest of the night?"
"Of course Q. You sort yourself out and I'll be waiting."
Quinn smiled softly before entering the bathroom and Mercedes returned to her room. The blonde took a long look in the mirror, before stripping her clothes and splashing herself with cold water. She quickly wiped herself down before drying off and getting re-dressed.
Quinn hesitantly opened Mercedes bedroom door and found the girl smiling back at her and waving her over. "Come on." She gently ushered and Quinn slipped in the bed beside her friend.
Mercedes decided to ask no questions, they weren't important right now. Quinn resting was what was important right now, questions can wait until the morning. She flipped off the bedside lamp before both girls burrowed beneath the covers. She thought that Quinn had fell asleep but she heard the faintest whisper of 'I'm sorry' again, followed by a muffled sob.
She took the girl into her arms and attempted to comfort her. "No more sorry's, you have nothing to be sorry for. Get some sleep Q. It's going to be okay."
"I'm going to make an appointment with Miss Sharon tomorrow." Quinn whimpered out.
"I think that's a good idea but don't worry about that now, get some sleep." Mercedes hushed, she felt a slight nod against her chest before they both gave in to the sandman.